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落不下 Can’t Be Left Behind
In the second year of our parents’ divorce, I ran away with my Ge.
Originally, Mum took Ge with her and threw me to Dad.
Now, my household registration record only has two pages. The head of the household is my Ge, and the other page is mine.
Originally, Mum took Ge with her and threw me to Dad.
Now, my household registration record only has two pages. The head of the household is my Ge, and the other page is mine.
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February 9, 2025
"Some people are abandoned before they are even born—my birth was merely to confirm their cruelty."
This novel is... good. The characters are complex, deeply flawed, and the writing is captivating. The translator did an amazing job! You just really have to stomach the huge amount of abuse and other elements but the author has brilliantly captured the intense, almost primal connection between the two characters which in turn connects to the heavy themes. Their love is wild, desperate, and filled with both devotion and struggle—it's dark yet beautiful. The premise shows the characters' dysfunction, but as the story develops, we get deeper insights into their instability. It's both fluid but also deeply gut-wrenching.
"In the past, I often told my Ge that I wanted to kill myself and die. He really wasn’t fun to joke with; once I said that, he would get extremely anxious. When he got alarmingly angry from panic, he would even hit me a few times with a slipper. But now I’m sure that I won’t do that anymore, because for love to exist, there must first be life."
What I appreciate most is that both characters embrace their flaws. The emotions feel authentic, and though Duan Yuan (MC) is a bit unreliable, his perspective draws you in. While first-person narratives aren’t for everyone, it's vital here. Through his eyes, we see the him being disconnected from everything except the Duan Rui, who grounds him. They are both codependent with each other, and I am here for it. Despite being a dark romance, the novel explores the psychological depth of two broken people who can only find peace with each other. In a twisted way, their relationship becomes surprisingly wholesome. Do not get blinded with my "wholesome" comment, you need to especially pay attention to the tags before jumping to this book. This is not for the faint-hearted, but for those who can handle it, it’s a must-read. I'm just quite not sure on how to rate it.
They’re made for each other, ready to risk everything. Their love is truly unconditional. I can’t fully explain the beauty of their bond, but they really make me want to end it all. The writing is raw and emotional, and the author's skill is undeniable. I just hope that nothing bad happens to them from now on.
This novel is... good. The characters are complex, deeply flawed, and the writing is captivating. The translator did an amazing job! You just really have to stomach the huge amount of abuse and other elements but the author has brilliantly captured the intense, almost primal connection between the two characters which in turn connects to the heavy themes. Their love is wild, desperate, and filled with both devotion and struggle—it's dark yet beautiful. The premise shows the characters' dysfunction, but as the story develops, we get deeper insights into their instability. It's both fluid but also deeply gut-wrenching.
"In the past, I often told my Ge that I wanted to kill myself and die. He really wasn’t fun to joke with; once I said that, he would get extremely anxious. When he got alarmingly angry from panic, he would even hit me a few times with a slipper. But now I’m sure that I won’t do that anymore, because for love to exist, there must first be life."
What I appreciate most is that both characters embrace their flaws. The emotions feel authentic, and though Duan Yuan (MC) is a bit unreliable, his perspective draws you in. While first-person narratives aren’t for everyone, it's vital here. Through his eyes, we see the him being disconnected from everything except the Duan Rui, who grounds him. They are both codependent with each other, and I am here for it. Despite being a dark romance, the novel explores the psychological depth of two broken people who can only find peace with each other. In a twisted way, their relationship becomes surprisingly wholesome. Do not get blinded with my "wholesome" comment, you need to especially pay attention to the tags before jumping to this book. This is not for the faint-hearted, but for those who can handle it, it’s a must-read. I'm just quite not sure on how to rate it.
They’re made for each other, ready to risk everything. Their love is truly unconditional. I can’t fully explain the beauty of their bond, but they really make me want to end it all. The writing is raw and emotional, and the author's skill is undeniable. I just hope that nothing bad happens to them from now on.
September 8, 2022
I'm not usually a fan of incest, but this novel is an exception.
尤萨阿里塔 has masterfully written these two characters and their pure, undying need for each other. They cannot live without each other; they are connected, right down to the blood. It's a crazy love mixed with desperation, devotion, thrill, and struggle. It's sick but in the most beautiful way. The best kind of p*rn-with-plot.
Duan Yan makes for a very complex and interesting MC. In his world, aside from his Ge, everyone else is irrelevant. He appears to be a brat, but later as his childhood is revealed, it becomes clearer why he is the way he is, and why he is so attached to his Ge. As he said, "when other people break up, they can still find someone new, but when I break up, I become an orphan." Duan Yan is actually very endearing, especially in the little things he does for his Ge.
Both Duan Yan and Duan Rui are flawed and very complex in character, they are both twisted in the head but in a different way. They are physically abusive with each other but at the same time, they are each other's buoy. Their struggle, pain, and suffering break my heart.
The abusive scenes might be a bit much for some readers, so this definitely isn't a story for the regular reader. I struggled a bit but I decided to sit through till the end.
I really enjoyed the diary entries, especially the ones of Duan Yan, it was so hilarious I laughed the entire time skjdhksj
Comment on the extras: *clears throat* Duan Yan was always meant to be a bottom.
I highly recommend this novel, I really enjoyed it. Reading it to the end will let yoy see how beautiful and touching this story is, even if you're not that into the incest genre. It's not one of the most popular ortho BLs in China for nothing.
尤萨阿里塔 has masterfully written these two characters and their pure, undying need for each other. They cannot live without each other; they are connected, right down to the blood. It's a crazy love mixed with desperation, devotion, thrill, and struggle. It's sick but in the most beautiful way. The best kind of p*rn-with-plot.
Duan Yan makes for a very complex and interesting MC. In his world, aside from his Ge, everyone else is irrelevant. He appears to be a brat, but later as his childhood is revealed, it becomes clearer why he is the way he is, and why he is so attached to his Ge. As he said, "when other people break up, they can still find someone new, but when I break up, I become an orphan." Duan Yan is actually very endearing, especially in the little things he does for his Ge.
Both Duan Yan and Duan Rui are flawed and very complex in character, they are both twisted in the head but in a different way. They are physically abusive with each other but at the same time, they are each other's buoy. Their struggle, pain, and suffering break my heart.
The abusive scenes might be a bit much for some readers, so this definitely isn't a story for the regular reader. I struggled a bit but I decided to sit through till the end.
I really enjoyed the diary entries, especially the ones of Duan Yan, it was so hilarious I laughed the entire time skjdhksj
Comment on the extras: *clears throat* Duan Yan was always meant to be a bottom.
I highly recommend this novel, I really enjoyed it. Reading it to the end will let yoy see how beautiful and touching this story is, even if you're not that into the incest genre. It's not one of the most popular ortho BLs in China for nothing.
July 30, 2022
well this one took a couple decades off my life.
i couldn't read some of the abusive scenes and had to skip but it became loads better towards the end. not that i have anything against it just that it was hard for me.
i always love an immoral protagonist and plus points if they're moral only when it comes to their other halves but kinky perverted ones obsessed with their brothers do it for me too now ig.
When I was younger, my mum lied to me and said that she had picked me up from a rubbish bin. I sincerely believed it. In the middle of a freezing cold day, I secretly buried myself in the rubbish bin at the entrance of our estate, yearning for my real parents to come and find me.this is literally the saddest thing I've ever come across😭.
"Accompany me for a while, I'll give you ten yuan."this is even better😭😭. he's at the hospital paying his older brother to stay with him🤧.
i couldn't read some of the abusive scenes and had to skip but it became loads better towards the end. not that i have anything against it just that it was hard for me.
i always love an immoral protagonist and plus points if they're moral only when it comes to their other halves but kinky perverted ones obsessed with their brothers do it for me too now ig.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 22, 2022
“I couldn't hold myself back from going to a tattoo shop again. I got Duan Rui's name, his birthday, the first day we started dating 2nd July, his card-holding wallet, the watch he wore, the slanted striped tie that he liked, as well as the cufflinks and tie clip I had gifted him before tattooed on my body.”
Oh my gaaaaawd!
That was a little bit unrealistic. A hella lot depraved. Toxic AF. And i fucking loved it!
Oh my gaaaaawd!
That was a little bit unrealistic. A hella lot depraved. Toxic AF. And i fucking loved it!
January 21, 2022
This is a very heavy book. Althought short, it touches taboo themes and the protagonist too, is not very sympathetic at first. Later, you realize he is pitiful. This books touches themes like BDSM, incest, physical, verbal abuse and suicide ideation. At times, you rage. Other, you feel moved. The writing is very well-done and the characters are all rounded. It is a great book, do not be afraid of it. You will walk away a new person.
June 11, 2023
Several trigger warnings to consider before giving this novel a read. There are mentions of incest, violence, child abuse, suicide, bdsm and child abuse. A lot more are listed on the carrd but I think only those I have mentioned are majorly mentioned in the novel. I was jumping in joy when I saw the warning tags. I just love content warning tags, the more the merrier. Lmao.
Can’t Be Left Behind was actually far under my to-be-read list but I moved it up recently and decided to give it a read, mainly because of the incest tag. I was itching to read an incest novel, a real incest and not a half-brother / stepbrother kind of incest. Reading an incest story didn’t make me feel disgusted or repulsed; rather, I was able to fully accept it as if it is normal. I was quite amazed at my level of acceptance.
I was expecting angst right from the beginning of the novel but I was met with hysterically funny lines and scenes, and I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was as if the author was telling her readers, “Laugh all you can now.” And then, she brought her readers to a rollercoaster of emotions. With how she has written the novel wonderfully, it was just so real. I was smiling giddily in heaven one chapter and bawling my eyes out in the abyss the next. If not those two, then I would be clenching my heart with a tensed face. What a ride!
But I couldn’t say the same for character development though. It was as if the break was always being stepped on. There wasn’t ‘actual’ character development in my opinion. The ML just took off his armor and bared himself while the MC just became more responsible. I couldn’t even say if the MC grew up to be more mature because the family shackles were what was truly keeping them locked up in their own world. It was more of an external factor rather than internally. Right from start, they had already accepted the fact that they love their brother and didn’t have any of those internal conflicts to cross over. Basically, they were just freed after those shackles broke, like opening the locked door for everyone to see. Can being true to oneself be considered as development? Hmm…
I gave this a five stars at first but deducted a star for that reason, and also because of the plot holes. There were a couple of questions that were left unanswered, mostly related to their past. I didn’t even know how “mentally unstable” came about. I deducted half-half stars because I truly enjoyed reading it. It satisfied my craving for a proper incest story and fulfilled my yearning for incest smut. Yes, I also think I am sick in the head. Hahaha.
After reading the main story, I skipped most of the extras because I wasn’t interested in the Q&A and the alternate universe stories. I usually prefer sticking to the main story. Those alternate universe, transmigrations and whatsnot extras are like fan-fiction for me. And most of the time, it ruins the character settings in my mind. I only read Extra 1&2 and the ending of the Extra 2 was perfect. It was quite witty and I like it. It gave me a proper sense of closure.
Can’t Be Left Behind was actually far under my to-be-read list but I moved it up recently and decided to give it a read, mainly because of the incest tag. I was itching to read an incest novel, a real incest and not a half-brother / stepbrother kind of incest. Reading an incest story didn’t make me feel disgusted or repulsed; rather, I was able to fully accept it as if it is normal. I was quite amazed at my level of acceptance.
I was expecting angst right from the beginning of the novel but I was met with hysterically funny lines and scenes, and I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was as if the author was telling her readers, “Laugh all you can now.” And then, she brought her readers to a rollercoaster of emotions. With how she has written the novel wonderfully, it was just so real. I was smiling giddily in heaven one chapter and bawling my eyes out in the abyss the next. If not those two, then I would be clenching my heart with a tensed face. What a ride!
But I couldn’t say the same for character development though. It was as if the break was always being stepped on. There wasn’t ‘actual’ character development in my opinion. The ML just took off his armor and bared himself while the MC just became more responsible. I couldn’t even say if the MC grew up to be more mature because the family shackles were what was truly keeping them locked up in their own world. It was more of an external factor rather than internally. Right from start, they had already accepted the fact that they love their brother and didn’t have any of those internal conflicts to cross over. Basically, they were just freed after those shackles broke, like opening the locked door for everyone to see. Can being true to oneself be considered as development? Hmm…
I gave this a five stars at first but deducted a star for that reason, and also because of the plot holes. There were a couple of questions that were left unanswered, mostly related to their past. I didn’t even know how “mentally unstable” came about. I deducted half-half stars because I truly enjoyed reading it. It satisfied my craving for a proper incest story and fulfilled my yearning for incest smut. Yes, I also think I am sick in the head. Hahaha.
After reading the main story, I skipped most of the extras because I wasn’t interested in the Q&A and the alternate universe stories. I usually prefer sticking to the main story. Those alternate universe, transmigrations and whatsnot extras are like fan-fiction for me. And most of the time, it ruins the character settings in my mind. I only read Extra 1&2 and the ending of the Extra 2 was perfect. It was quite witty and I like it. It gave me a proper sense of closure.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2022
They said "Unapologeticaly sick. Twisted. Heart-wrenching. Tittilating. Disturbing. Disgusting. Captivating. Satisfying. " I tried. So true, and i loved it.
However be careful, i won't recommand it to anyone. It tests your bottom line. There is so much trigger possible in this story such as : violence physical and s*xual, mentall illness, child abondonment, abuse (all kind) , suicide, r*pe, incest, homos*xuality, trauma...
The author did a very good job in "show don't tell" mechanism for the bond, the love, the need between the two ML. Futhermore i will say that it is the writing that make this love story shine. The story is written from the POV of the MC. It is quite capitivating how he narrates with his understanding and filters. The writing does not condemn neither does it romanticise the sickly things in the story, it just describe a rainbow of human flaws.
A psychological protrayal of two damaged people finding acceptance in each other which was rather suprising ; a rarely a dark love has a good ending.
If you can read these kind of story, it is really worth you time. If not I strongly advise against.
However be careful, i won't recommand it to anyone. It tests your bottom line. There is so much trigger possible in this story such as : violence physical and s*xual, mentall illness, child abondonment, abuse (all kind) , suicide, r*pe, incest, homos*xuality, trauma...
The author did a very good job in "show don't tell" mechanism for the bond, the love, the need between the two ML. Futhermore i will say that it is the writing that make this love story shine. The story is written from the POV of the MC. It is quite capitivating how he narrates with his understanding and filters. The writing does not condemn neither does it romanticise the sickly things in the story, it just describe a rainbow of human flaws.
A psychological protrayal of two damaged people finding acceptance in each other which was rather suprising ; a rarely a dark love has a good ending.
If you can read these kind of story, it is really worth you time. If not I strongly advise against.
July 12, 2023
I honestly don't know how to rate this book. It could be 1 star because it's essentially porn with plot. It could be 5 stats because it captures these two beautifully flawed characters so perfectly.
This entire book is one big trigger warning. I don't think I've read a book with more taboo topics. So much conflicted feelings about this book, it'll definitely stay with me for a while.
This entire book is one big trigger warning. I don't think I've read a book with more taboo topics. So much conflicted feelings about this book, it'll definitely stay with me for a while.
November 16, 2023
Writing is beautiful and gritty, understated angst, an exploration of taboo love between two deeply flawed characters with a lot of trauma. Read this for a little something different. Immersive narration, great translation.
Overall: 9/10
Enjoyability: 4/5
Would I reread? Maybe
Overall: 9/10
Enjoyability: 4/5
Would I reread? Maybe
December 9, 2024
This was brain meltingly HOT. Like wow
This has got to be the most explicit smut danmei Ive read. Maybe even on par with BAB. Its so wrong, so depraved, dowright illegal but gosh the author has written it so well that you wont even give a damn.
This has got to be the most explicit smut danmei Ive read. Maybe even on par with BAB. Its so wrong, so depraved, dowright illegal but gosh the author has written it so well that you wont even give a damn.
February 13, 2024
... OK BUT PUTTING MY MORALS ASIDE THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST READS I DID IN A WHILE AND IT GOT ME OUT OF MY DANMEI READING SLUMP
May 8, 2025
My first time reading danmei set in modern China. I'm glad I tried it, but I'll mostly stick to danmei set in Ancient China from now on.
The story was quite nice, but very different from 2ha and TGCF.
Liked the aspect of them being brothers.
The story was quite nice, but very different from 2ha and TGCF.
Liked the aspect of them being brothers.
August 19, 2023
Me encantó!
No es apto para personas sensibles ni con mucha moral jajaj.
No es apto para personas sensibles ni con mucha moral jajaj.
August 13, 2022
4⭐️
Lo leí hace unos meses, pero cuando lo busqué aquí en Goodreads no lo encontré para dejar una reseña. Hoy volví a recordarla y la busqué, con la sorpresa de que ya estaba aquí.
Teniendo eso en cuenta, que mi calificación aún se mantenga en 4 es algo sin dudas.
Esta es una historia con un tema tabú, un poco fuerte y agridulce. Sin dudas, problemático.
Pero he de decir que cuando la estaba leyendo la estaba amando y aún al sol de hoy lo hago. Quiero volver a leerla alguna vez, para ver si mi opinión cambia con respecto a esta novela.
La recomiendo, sin embargo advierto que toca temas sensibles.
Lo leí hace unos meses, pero cuando lo busqué aquí en Goodreads no lo encontré para dejar una reseña. Hoy volví a recordarla y la busqué, con la sorpresa de que ya estaba aquí.
Teniendo eso en cuenta, que mi calificación aún se mantenga en 4 es algo sin dudas.
Esta es una historia con un tema tabú, un poco fuerte y agridulce. Sin dudas, problemático.
Pero he de decir que cuando la estaba leyendo la estaba amando y aún al sol de hoy lo hago. Quiero volver a leerla alguna vez, para ver si mi opinión cambia con respecto a esta novela.
La recomiendo, sin embargo advierto que toca temas sensibles.
December 20, 2024
I’m seriously starting to doubt myself… Why did I read this? How did I finished this? (°_°)
April 30, 2024
This is the type of story that I would beg anyone who's interested in reading it to go through the CWs before starting it.
I was disturbed and uncomfortable while reading, but I also think it's a very well-crafted story about two broken people finding comfort in each other and all that that encompasses. I don't think any of the triggering content is romanticized or made to be less than what it is since the characters are aware of the "wrongness", for lack of a better word, of what they're doing to themselves and the other; and this isn't necessarily referring to the incest side of it. Duan Rui and Duan Yan have survived purely because the other is beside them, and as long as one of them is alive, so will the other be. They're extremely codependent and lose track of everything if anything happens to the other, but given how they grew up, it's no wonder. They abuse others AND each other and use the knowledge of each other to get what they want out of the other. Nevertheless, they're extremely considerate of the other. They're as complicated as it gets, and you're as conflicted as they are while reading about everything going on. The introspective nature, even while on the most graphic of scenes, truly shines through.
Again, I don't think this story is for everyone, and most will probably never read it, but I found it really moving. I was uneasy, angry, sad, and happy. I cried for them and the injustices they suffered while also worried about their extreme and explosive relationship given its nature and their characters. I can't lie. When the ending wasn't a tragic one, I was relieved. These two have endured enough and should be given the chance to exist together even if only, truly, behind closed doors and dark alleys.
I was disturbed and uncomfortable while reading, but I also think it's a very well-crafted story about two broken people finding comfort in each other and all that that encompasses. I don't think any of the triggering content is romanticized or made to be less than what it is since the characters are aware of the "wrongness", for lack of a better word, of what they're doing to themselves and the other; and this isn't necessarily referring to the incest side of it. Duan Rui and Duan Yan have survived purely because the other is beside them, and as long as one of them is alive, so will the other be. They're extremely codependent and lose track of everything if anything happens to the other, but given how they grew up, it's no wonder. They abuse others AND each other and use the knowledge of each other to get what they want out of the other. Nevertheless, they're extremely considerate of the other. They're as complicated as it gets, and you're as conflicted as they are while reading about everything going on. The introspective nature, even while on the most graphic of scenes, truly shines through.
Again, I don't think this story is for everyone, and most will probably never read it, but I found it really moving. I was uneasy, angry, sad, and happy. I cried for them and the injustices they suffered while also worried about their extreme and explosive relationship given its nature and their characters. I can't lie. When the ending wasn't a tragic one, I was relieved. These two have endured enough and should be given the chance to exist together even if only, truly, behind closed doors and dark alleys.
August 12, 2022
3.25 stars
I'll not talk about the morals, as I left them behind when I decided to read this novel. What surprised me most in this story is the writing style. It's written well and has some depth in some parts. Also, a few parts that were elegantly written.
I hated their parents. They were terrible people. Things wouldn't have turned out how they were later only if they were loving towards their kids. MC's mother left him with his father, and his father used him as his punching bag, a tool to vent his anger. It's all happened because of mutual dependancy and excess emotional attachment to only one person. Because they never knew familial love. And because ml felt guilty of leaving mc behind when they were young, and the physical and psychological torture mc was subjected to by his father. As a result, ml would indulge mc with whatever he wanted.
I liked it, i guess. *looking away*
I'll not talk about the morals, as I left them behind when I decided to read this novel. What surprised me most in this story is the writing style. It's written well and has some depth in some parts. Also, a few parts that were elegantly written.
Of course, those who could not accept this sort of abnormal love affair made up the majority, but Jiang Xue’s trust was an umbrella. With this umbrella, when I walked, I wouldn’t get drenched by the rain. The world of adults was lonelier than I, so I tipped the umbrella to one side, sheltering my Ge a little more.
I hated their parents. They were terrible people. Things wouldn't have turned out how they were later only if they were loving towards their kids. MC's mother left him with his father, and his father used him as his punching bag, a tool to vent his anger. It's all happened because of mutual dependancy and excess emotional attachment to only one person. Because they never knew familial love. And because ml felt guilty of leaving mc behind when they were young, and the physical and psychological torture mc was subjected to by his father. As a result, ml would indulge mc with whatever he wanted.
I'm always weighing down on your feathers
You don't bring me up to fly Instead, you jump down and run with me.
I liked it, i guess. *looking away*
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 20, 2022
Getting through the book's first half, I was so ready to give this a two-star rating (a max of 2.5 if I was feeling generous). The only other book I've read of this genre was Brother, and it was impossible for me not to compare CBLB with it. But as the book went on, I was so invested in reading the protagonist's thoughts and the reasons behind his actions that I couldn't help but feel for him (hence the increase in my ratings). The book was well written and deep enough for me to indulge in it. It did touch my limits at times, but as someone who can read just about anything written, I even slightly enjoyed it here and there. This is definitely not for the weak-hearted, and I wouldn't go around voluntarily recommending people to read this, but if you are here already, you might as well give it a shot if you can stomach the genre.
June 12, 2024
Hi!! After a few months i’m back!
So i’ve already read this a year ago and now that i’ve read for the second time I wanted to write a review of it.
I normally don’t like to go for these kinds of stories that contain abuse/incest but this really was an exception!
Be cautious of the TW’s!
It’s about two brothers Duan Rui and Duan Yan which they have a sick and twisted love and plus them having to deal with family issues that affects both of them severely.
They’re both very flawed and difficult characters, they physically abuse each other but at the same time can’t live without one another.
Overall I enjoyed it but I understand that it’s not for all!
So i’ve already read this a year ago and now that i’ve read for the second time I wanted to write a review of it.
I normally don’t like to go for these kinds of stories that contain abuse/incest but this really was an exception!
Be cautious of the TW’s!
It’s about two brothers Duan Rui and Duan Yan which they have a sick and twisted love and plus them having to deal with family issues that affects both of them severely.
They’re both very flawed and difficult characters, they physically abuse each other but at the same time can’t live without one another.
Overall I enjoyed it but I understand that it’s not for all!
May 21, 2024
still not over this
May 30, 2025
（yes我就知道我不雷骨科-
所有人都有一种命苦的感觉hhh 家暴的爸不负责任的妈我嘞个天崩开局- 但是什么- 中国人就算搞骨科也在认真学习吗
（被网友骗了啊我以为是be）“精神病人”疯批的浪漫与坚定，虐中带甜甜中虐少，其实比我想象的好看很多，看完感觉我都不雷大h文了 （虽说为什么骨科几本都是h文-
所有人都有一种命苦的感觉hhh 家暴的爸不负责任的妈我嘞个天崩开局- 但是什么- 中国人就算搞骨科也在认真学习吗
（被网友骗了啊我以为是be）“精神病人”疯批的浪漫与坚定，虐中带甜甜中虐少，其实比我想象的好看很多，看完感觉我都不雷大h文了 （虽说为什么骨科几本都是h文-
May 29, 2025
This novel is seriously dark and intense. Can’t Be Left Behind tells the story of two brothers whose relationship crosses lines, emotionally and physically. It's messy, uncomfortable, and completely gripping if you’re okay with diving into taboo topics like incest, trauma, and obsessive love. Duan Rui is one of the most emotionally raw characters I’ve read. His trauma runs deep, and the way he clings to Duan Yan, sometimes violently, sometimes heartbreakingly, is both hard to watch and impossible to look away from. Duan Yan, for his part, is cold, controlling, but not untouched by it all either. Their dynamic is twisted, but it makes sense in the sad, broken world they come from.
The novel doesn’t sugarcoat anything. It’s full of manipulation, mental illness, and abuse, but none of it feels like it’s there just for shock value. It’s more about showing how trauma warps people and relationships, and how survival sometimes turns into obsession.
If you’re into darker psychological stories and don’t mind morally gray (or straight-up black) content, this one’s definitely worth checking out. But yeah, major content warnings.
The novel doesn’t sugarcoat anything. It’s full of manipulation, mental illness, and abuse, but none of it feels like it’s there just for shock value. It’s more about showing how trauma warps people and relationships, and how survival sometimes turns into obsession.
If you’re into darker psychological stories and don’t mind morally gray (or straight-up black) content, this one’s definitely worth checking out. But yeah, major content warnings.
August 27, 2023
Sorvolando sulle tematiche di questo libro... credo che nonostante sia stato "interessante" sviscerare (per quel poco che si può leggere) la dinamica tra i due protagonisti è stato un racconto non eccelso proprio perché, come ha detto l'autore, si è trovato a scrivere senza avere già un'idea di dove andare a parare con la storia, infatti non si sono climax o una svolta, solo azioni che si susseguono senza un vero finale memorabile che possa concludere il tutto in modo soddisfacente. Lo stile di scrittura non è dei miei preferiti, non vado pazza per la prima persona (in questo caso avrei preferito la terza con focalizzazione interna).
January 3, 2023
Where do I even begin with this novel that grasps me in from the start and dare me to look away and dare me to make even attempt to impose any thing I think I know about the world and these two characters and their world. The way the narrator tell you the story without giving away anything and try to explain away anything. This is them and this is life and this is love. The way it feels like there is this opaque glass surrounding their world and you can’t encroach into it. Anyway, what a book to read and finish the beginning of the year.
Want to read
March 31, 2023dnf @ 40%
i was in the mood to read something dark, but maybe this was too dark and violent for me 😔 it's a shame because the writing was actually pretty good!! and the eng translation was of great quality!
this novel deals with topics like incest (siblings), self-harm, abuse and nsfw content among others. so, if you are looking for something unapologetically sick and twisted, have this in mind!
maybe i will give this another try when i find myself in a better place of mind, i just don't have that strength right now :')
i was in the mood to read something dark, but maybe this was too dark and violent for me 😔 it's a shame because the writing was actually pretty good!! and the eng translation was of great quality!
this novel deals with topics like incest (siblings), self-harm, abuse and nsfw content among others. so, if you are looking for something unapologetically sick and twisted, have this in mind!
maybe i will give this another try when i find myself in a better place of mind, i just don't have that strength right now :')
August 19, 2024
I think I expected this to be more of a tragedy, which it has tinges of it, but it's mostly smutty and violent. There's a lot of the two main characters getting angry and hitting each other either to vent or scold and it wasn't the most enjoyable thing to read. Despite the lack of a plot, it did have it's sweet moments.
January 23, 2025
wowowowow. dark romance done to absolute perfection. definitely not for prudes or the faint hearted but if you can handle the heavy themes i highly recommend 😭 actually very beautifully written and not one of those trashy books that throw in all sorts of triggers for shock factor and just for the sake of being toxic. one of the best i've ever read.
September 7, 2025
It is such a heavy/dark book for it's length. The writing captures the flaws of the characters so well. It's definitely not a book that I would recommend for just everyone because the topics are so morally(?) gray, but it had me hooked from the beginning since I was curious as to how the author would approach such topics/themes.
January 2, 2024
Fue una historia interesante, claramente no es para todo el mundo y aunque es un tanto tóxica la pareja se me hizo muy linda, la recomendaria pero sabiendo que antes lean muy bien todas las advertencias.
March 18, 2024
“Perhaps it was Duan Rui who had birthed me, because only Duan Rui loved me. I wasn't crying, I was just raining. Later, my body would grow mushrooms.” TW mentions of death, suicidal thoughts, description of injuries, child abuse, mentions of child neglect, SA, harassment
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