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All That Fills Us
Mel Ellis knows that her eating disorder is ruining her life. Everyone tells her rehab is her best option, but she can't bring herself to go. Broken and empty in more ways than one, Mel makes one last-ditch effort to make hers a story worth telling. She will walk her own road to recovery along the lesser-known trails of the North American wilderness.
Though she is physically and mentally unprepared to face the difficulties that lay ahead, she sets off on foot from Grand Rapids, Michigan, and heads toward Mount Rainier National Park in Washington State. During the long journey, she meets strangers with their own stories, as well as ghosts from her past who can no longer be ignored. But though the land she travels threatens her success at every turn, it's her own dark thoughts she'll have to overcome in order to find peace in the life and the body she has been given.
With pitch-perfect timing and delightfully witty self-awareness, debut author Autumn Lytle masterfully leads readers on a journey down the hard path toward healing.
***
" All That Fills Us is a compelling drama of the complex battle with the debilitating longing for perfection as enacted through a severe eating disorder. Told in an equally raw and wry first-person narration, this tale bears powerful witness to how the individual's quest for wellness is necessary groundwork for collective healing."-- Booklist
"Lytle draws on her own experience with eating disorders to take readers inside Mel's mind and misguided thinking about her own worth and health."-- Library Journal
Though she is physically and mentally unprepared to face the difficulties that lay ahead, she sets off on foot from Grand Rapids, Michigan, and heads toward Mount Rainier National Park in Washington State. During the long journey, she meets strangers with their own stories, as well as ghosts from her past who can no longer be ignored. But though the land she travels threatens her success at every turn, it's her own dark thoughts she'll have to overcome in order to find peace in the life and the body she has been given.
With pitch-perfect timing and delightfully witty self-awareness, debut author Autumn Lytle masterfully leads readers on a journey down the hard path toward healing.
***
" All That Fills Us is a compelling drama of the complex battle with the debilitating longing for perfection as enacted through a severe eating disorder. Told in an equally raw and wry first-person narration, this tale bears powerful witness to how the individual's quest for wellness is necessary groundwork for collective healing."-- Booklist
"Lytle draws on her own experience with eating disorders to take readers inside Mel's mind and misguided thinking about her own worth and health."-- Library Journal
352 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews
June 5, 2022
Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher/author. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
Characters: The author gave Mel Ellis, the main lady, such a good voice. Mel's struggle with anorexia seemed really realistic, and I enjoyed her sense of humor.
Language: Maybe a couple of not-so-reverent uses of God's name. I can't remember for sure.
Moral/theme: I didn't agree with most of the spiritual aspects in this book. The main character leaned toward Catholicism and seemed open to Buddhism and New Age thinking. Once I got into some of this, I decided to read this book for the engaging story and kind of ignore the spiritual moments.
Plot: The plot was more of a journey. I enjoyed following along with Mel as she hiked across the country and met lots of interesting people along the way.
Romance: Clean.
Writing: This is the first book I've read by Autumn Lytle, and she nailed the first-person POV. It was great!
Overall: All That Fills Us was an entertaining read, and I'd recommend it to those who enjoy Christian fiction and contemporary novels.
Characters: The author gave Mel Ellis, the main lady, such a good voice. Mel's struggle with anorexia seemed really realistic, and I enjoyed her sense of humor.
Language: Maybe a couple of not-so-reverent uses of God's name. I can't remember for sure.
Moral/theme: I didn't agree with most of the spiritual aspects in this book. The main character leaned toward Catholicism and seemed open to Buddhism and New Age thinking. Once I got into some of this, I decided to read this book for the engaging story and kind of ignore the spiritual moments.
Plot: The plot was more of a journey. I enjoyed following along with Mel as she hiked across the country and met lots of interesting people along the way.
Romance: Clean.
Writing: This is the first book I've read by Autumn Lytle, and she nailed the first-person POV. It was great!
Overall: All That Fills Us was an entertaining read, and I'd recommend it to those who enjoy Christian fiction and contemporary novels.
May 13, 2022
Thanks Autumn Lytle for writing such a great inspiring book. It is a breathtaking story of a young woman named Mel Ellis who suffers from an eating disorder and a lack of self worth that is slowly killing her. I wish I would had read this book earlier in my life as I suffered from some of the same issues as Mel as a young woman. I felt her pain and aniexty. It brought tears to my eyes. I tried therapist, doctors and medication with no solution. With nothing to lose and everything to gain, Mel decides to take a pilgrimage on foot from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Mount Ranier in Washington state. I love all the characters, but my favorite characters besides Mel are Chrystal and David, a sister and her young brother. The people she meets along the way are both memorable and inspirational. What she is searching for is found within herself if she can only survive to discover that truth. This story is complete with beautiful imagery of all that she sees and experiences. I loved this book and all of its beautiful descriptive passages. What a heartfelt message of hope that it gives. Everyone should read this book. I highly recommend it. It can help you or help you to help someone else. Thanks again Autumn Lytle.
September 27, 2022
Unique debut filled with hurt, heart and hope. I learned quite a bit about eating disorders from this novel including the technical term, lanugo. Some of the images were disturbing when I looked up what the word meant.
One can debate if they believe Mel made the right decision or not when she left Michigan on her journey. But she did and that decision mentally aligned with where she was at. I particularly enjoyed the kind people she came across in her travels.
Favorite quote: "Remember, just like in running, the greatest accomplishment isn't that you finished but that you had the courage to start."
One can debate if they believe Mel made the right decision or not when she left Michigan on her journey. But she did and that decision mentally aligned with where she was at. I particularly enjoyed the kind people she came across in her travels.
Favorite quote: "Remember, just like in running, the greatest accomplishment isn't that you finished but that you had the courage to start."
March 29, 2022
*DNF. Shelved at 25%*
ARC provided by Publisher in exchange for an honest review
I would like to thank Revel and NetGalley for the copy of this eARC and the chance to follow along with Mel on the beginning of her journey.
I want to awe at the cover for a minute, because it truly is what captured my attention at first glance. I've always picked books by covers and its no surprise this one said "gimme" all over it. Once I got to the synopsis, I knew I had to have it. I'm a Michigan girl born and raised Up North, now living in Metro Detroit. I am a sucker for small niche mentions of our mitten state, especially the mention of a little ice cream shop that was born in my hometown.
I found mentions of Seattle--the home of one of my closest friends--and an issue for a struggling young woman that were reminiscent of pressures I felt in adolescence. I thought it was going to be a home run for me. And, at moments it was. Every mention of something so purely "Michigan", especially the little nod to Kilwin's, made my heart so happy. On top of that, Mel's dark humor is something I adore as I tend to use it way too often as a coping mechanism myself. But, At 25%, I am sad to shelve this story--I am just not the intended audience for this book.
There was nothing in the synopsis that hinted toward how heavy of a role Faith/Religion would play in this book. Both Mel's own faith, and that of her family as her parents are missionaries. I had expected to enter a story of self discovery of a young woman as she came to terms with her illness through the stories of others around her and fought for self healing because of her will to survive. In the beginning what is painted instead is a "Pilgrimage" to find God with the hopes that he would help save her the same way her father had years ago, before turning to his focus in life to that of missionary work.
Faith is a very complicated topic for me, and sadly one I try to escape from in my fiction, so this is the main reason why I have decided I cannot continue following Mel on her journey.
An additional point that made me decide to move on, is how Mel's eating disorder is portrayed. At moments it feels as though it is being glorified--almost at times giving you a "How To". It goes into great detail talking about exactly what she eats, exactly how much and how she works out, exactly how many calories she's burning in a day. As Mel is the narrator I understand that we are in her head, and she doesn't see it as a large issue, but there are ways to conduct this narrative with a little more caution that I feel is lacking in the beginning of this novel.
Her doctor and those around her only really seem to keep repeating in a broad sense that if she continues down this path she could die, and then it quickly gets overshadowed from Mel's perspective--as though their concerns are exaggerated. We see the harm it is having on her, but the "benefits" of her losing a few pounds always gets mentioned within close proximity. I would have liked to see Mel's glorified ideals of her disordered eating lessened by emphasizing the facts of how damaging it is to ones body. It might not get through to Mel, but could have the potential to get through to impressionable readers.
There is a chance that this story will veer away from my concerns, but based on how heavy of an aspect it currently plays, I cannot safely conclude that in order to continue. This book has a target audience, as the many amazing reviews suggest, and I know many will continue to love it. The descriptive writing style of this author is wonderful and paints stunning pictures as you move through the story, and I hope all that decide to take the journey, enjoy it.
ARC provided by Publisher in exchange for an honest review
I would like to thank Revel and NetGalley for the copy of this eARC and the chance to follow along with Mel on the beginning of her journey.
I want to awe at the cover for a minute, because it truly is what captured my attention at first glance. I've always picked books by covers and its no surprise this one said "gimme" all over it. Once I got to the synopsis, I knew I had to have it. I'm a Michigan girl born and raised Up North, now living in Metro Detroit. I am a sucker for small niche mentions of our mitten state, especially the mention of a little ice cream shop that was born in my hometown.
I found mentions of Seattle--the home of one of my closest friends--and an issue for a struggling young woman that were reminiscent of pressures I felt in adolescence. I thought it was going to be a home run for me. And, at moments it was. Every mention of something so purely "Michigan", especially the little nod to Kilwin's, made my heart so happy. On top of that, Mel's dark humor is something I adore as I tend to use it way too often as a coping mechanism myself. But, At 25%, I am sad to shelve this story--I am just not the intended audience for this book.
There was nothing in the synopsis that hinted toward how heavy of a role Faith/Religion would play in this book. Both Mel's own faith, and that of her family as her parents are missionaries. I had expected to enter a story of self discovery of a young woman as she came to terms with her illness through the stories of others around her and fought for self healing because of her will to survive. In the beginning what is painted instead is a "Pilgrimage" to find God with the hopes that he would help save her the same way her father had years ago, before turning to his focus in life to that of missionary work.
Faith is a very complicated topic for me, and sadly one I try to escape from in my fiction, so this is the main reason why I have decided I cannot continue following Mel on her journey.
An additional point that made me decide to move on, is how Mel's eating disorder is portrayed. At moments it feels as though it is being glorified--almost at times giving you a "How To". It goes into great detail talking about exactly what she eats, exactly how much and how she works out, exactly how many calories she's burning in a day. As Mel is the narrator I understand that we are in her head, and she doesn't see it as a large issue, but there are ways to conduct this narrative with a little more caution that I feel is lacking in the beginning of this novel.
Her doctor and those around her only really seem to keep repeating in a broad sense that if she continues down this path she could die, and then it quickly gets overshadowed from Mel's perspective--as though their concerns are exaggerated. We see the harm it is having on her, but the "benefits" of her losing a few pounds always gets mentioned within close proximity. I would have liked to see Mel's glorified ideals of her disordered eating lessened by emphasizing the facts of how damaging it is to ones body. It might not get through to Mel, but could have the potential to get through to impressionable readers.
There is a chance that this story will veer away from my concerns, but based on how heavy of an aspect it currently plays, I cannot safely conclude that in order to continue. This book has a target audience, as the many amazing reviews suggest, and I know many will continue to love it. The descriptive writing style of this author is wonderful and paints stunning pictures as you move through the story, and I hope all that decide to take the journey, enjoy it.
June 12, 2022
All That Fills Us is an amazing title for this story. Mel has an eating disorder that has ruined her life, she knows this but she also knows that she is still struggling and she will get there, but with time. Nothing anyone can say or do will change things for her, she has to change them for herself. Setting out on a journey to find herself and accomplish something in her life, Mel meets many different people along the way. She also learns that these people also have things they are struggle with in life, and they offer her different perspectives and outlooks she may not have otherwise thought of or realized. Bound to do this for herself, this journey takes her across a lesser known trail along the western US, her end goal being Mount Rainier.
This was an in-depth look at how mentally an eating disorder can take over every waking thought and day of someone. I really did not have any idea or understanding of how in control this disorder can be, and it was really eye opening to read about the struggles of someone and how hard it is each day for them during meal time. Very good read for anyone who would like to understand better eating disorders, while reading a good fictional story. Thank you to Revell Publishing for the free novel, and the author for being willing to write about something so personal for others to learn about.
This was an in-depth look at how mentally an eating disorder can take over every waking thought and day of someone. I really did not have any idea or understanding of how in control this disorder can be, and it was really eye opening to read about the struggles of someone and how hard it is each day for them during meal time. Very good read for anyone who would like to understand better eating disorders, while reading a good fictional story. Thank you to Revell Publishing for the free novel, and the author for being willing to write about something so personal for others to learn about.
April 3, 2022
This author got my attention and grabbed my heart from the first line, “The worst part of regaining consciousness was the slow and unavoidable realization that the life I was waking up to was hardly worth the effort.”
I became emotionally invested in this story when I realized it came from the heart of this author as she laid open her life experiences to give insight, understanding, and a peek into what the beginning of the healing process for a food disorder might look like (everyone’s different).
The author shares in notes to readers, ”Mel and I do share the same self-destructive thoughts. Like Me. And millions of others, I struggled with an eating disorder,..Healing is messy, lengthy, and anything but linear…society doesn’t really know what to do with that….The road to recovery can be so very lonely.”
I felt Mel’s pain and shame as she went on this journey, she felt compelled to do since she was eight years old. Some of the adventures she went on during her pilgrimage reminded me a little of the many people Forest Gump met on his run. Mel met so many interesting, and caring people along the trail that gave her encouragement, assistance, and insight she needed to keep going forward one day at a time. Simultaneously, she was being painfully stretched beyond her comfort zone and wrestled with God along the way. Praying she’d achieve her goal.
This is a story with powerful imagery, delightful humor that takes readers on a journey both heart-wrenching and heart-warming. It’s a raw, gritty, emotional, eye-opening story you won’t soon forget. This book is a must-read! The author is a wonderful storyteller and one to watch, looking forward to where she will take readers next.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have received a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins!
The Book Club Network blog www.bookfun.org
I became emotionally invested in this story when I realized it came from the heart of this author as she laid open her life experiences to give insight, understanding, and a peek into what the beginning of the healing process for a food disorder might look like (everyone’s different).
The author shares in notes to readers, ”Mel and I do share the same self-destructive thoughts. Like Me. And millions of others, I struggled with an eating disorder,..Healing is messy, lengthy, and anything but linear…society doesn’t really know what to do with that….The road to recovery can be so very lonely.”
I felt Mel’s pain and shame as she went on this journey, she felt compelled to do since she was eight years old. Some of the adventures she went on during her pilgrimage reminded me a little of the many people Forest Gump met on his run. Mel met so many interesting, and caring people along the trail that gave her encouragement, assistance, and insight she needed to keep going forward one day at a time. Simultaneously, she was being painfully stretched beyond her comfort zone and wrestled with God along the way. Praying she’d achieve her goal.
This is a story with powerful imagery, delightful humor that takes readers on a journey both heart-wrenching and heart-warming. It’s a raw, gritty, emotional, eye-opening story you won’t soon forget. This book is a must-read! The author is a wonderful storyteller and one to watch, looking forward to where she will take readers next.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have received a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins!
The Book Club Network blog www.bookfun.org
April 29, 2022
First of all, I have to say that in reading reviews for this one, it drives me nuts when people give lower stars because they didn't know it was Christian Fiction. That's on you if you don't pay attention to the genre or publisher.
Having said that, I'm actually on the opposite spectrum of those other reviews. Because while yes, there WAS a great deal of mention of God, there was also too much "new age" influence interwoven in. The author made it clear in the beginning that she is Catholic--which I am not. But it bothered me to see her only jab at religion was against megachurches (but felt more like Protestantism in general in the delivery), yet seemed to see no issue with using naturalism and mysticism in positive lights. This very strongly didn't sit well with me.
Although Mel's internal dialogue was authentic to a young woman with Anorexia Athletica (as shared in the author's bio), the journey she went on was nothing realistic for anyone in her physical and mental state--let alone without planning and supplies. Instead of going to treatment from the hospital, she decided to go on a pilgrimage. Her trip wasn't to heal--it was to avoid. And while she had some level of healing, it felt more like she was kidding herself.
To anyone complaining about the author's use of numbers (ie: food portions, exercise regimens): that's authentic. And believe it or not watered down. Numbers are a big deal to those with eating disorders and while yes, those numbers can be triggers--she didn't once state Mel's weight. Which would be her most obsessive number and the one most triggering. So yes, numbers were involved but nowhere near the extreme of reality.
I have mixed feelings about this one. The mental aspects were significantly more authentic than the physical. Mel was nowhere near at the level of healing the end of the book made her appear. But as unrealistic as the storyline was, it's still hard not to think of her as a real person. I wish there would have been more at the end to show where Mel ends up in the future. Maybe part of the problem was that I didn't feel the book had proper closure. This one left me with lots of feelings. Lots and lots of feelings.
*I received a copy of this book through JustRead Tours. Thoughts and opinions expressed are mine alone.
Having said that, I'm actually on the opposite spectrum of those other reviews. Because while yes, there WAS a great deal of mention of God, there was also too much "new age" influence interwoven in. The author made it clear in the beginning that she is Catholic--which I am not. But it bothered me to see her only jab at religion was against megachurches (but felt more like Protestantism in general in the delivery), yet seemed to see no issue with using naturalism and mysticism in positive lights. This very strongly didn't sit well with me.
Although Mel's internal dialogue was authentic to a young woman with Anorexia Athletica (as shared in the author's bio), the journey she went on was nothing realistic for anyone in her physical and mental state--let alone without planning and supplies. Instead of going to treatment from the hospital, she decided to go on a pilgrimage. Her trip wasn't to heal--it was to avoid. And while she had some level of healing, it felt more like she was kidding herself.
To anyone complaining about the author's use of numbers (ie: food portions, exercise regimens): that's authentic. And believe it or not watered down. Numbers are a big deal to those with eating disorders and while yes, those numbers can be triggers--she didn't once state Mel's weight. Which would be her most obsessive number and the one most triggering. So yes, numbers were involved but nowhere near the extreme of reality.
I have mixed feelings about this one. The mental aspects were significantly more authentic than the physical. Mel was nowhere near at the level of healing the end of the book made her appear. But as unrealistic as the storyline was, it's still hard not to think of her as a real person. I wish there would have been more at the end to show where Mel ends up in the future. Maybe part of the problem was that I didn't feel the book had proper closure. This one left me with lots of feelings. Lots and lots of feelings.
*I received a copy of this book through JustRead Tours. Thoughts and opinions expressed are mine alone.
May 2, 2025
This book was incredible. All the emotions felt so real and I really enjoyed the adventure aspect.
May 28, 2022
Having lived in Grand Rapids over 27 years I thoroughly enjoyed the setting.
April 27, 2022
Thoughtful, clever, and poignant, this is a smashing debut novel. Although the subject matter is heavy (anorexia), I found myself laughing out loud multiple times at the witty writing style. I love feeling like I'm in a character's head, and the first-person point of view in All that Fills Us really delivered an immersive experience. While, as a mom, I was wishing I could intervene and help Mel, I recall those uneasy teen/early adult years, and I feel they were captured perfectly. It's a hopeful, even cathartic book, for those struggling with eating disorders. Well done.
June 21, 2022
This story took me a while to get into. Mel was all over the place in the beginning and I was trying to sort her out. This is not a book for everyone, you definitely have to have a strong constitution to read about her serious anorexia and her compulsive exercising. It is not an easy topic and not everyone will be able to stomach it. While overall I appreciated the sentiment of the story, I felt like the 2000 mile trek was unrealistic. I know people can definitely overcome anorexia on their own, but as bad off as Mel was, it didn’t seem plausible she could hike across the country in her condition. But this is fiction so I can let it slide. My favorite part of the story was all of the people that Mel met along the way. I loved how she found amazing people to fill the void inside of her. I was really shocked when the book ended, I didn’t feel like there was a clear resolution. I wanted closure with her Mom, her grandma, her ex boyfriend, and her eating disorder. I found the ending to be abrupt. However overall, I enjoyed the story and Mel’s journey to healing. I received a copy of this book for free; all thoughts and opinions are my own.
September 12, 2022
To be transparent, I know the author. While I respect Autumn greatly and some of that bias probably bleeds into my rating, I was truly taken aback by how much I honestly just enjoyed this story. If you decide to take the journey with Mel, be aware that you’re in for a roller coaster of emotions.
After turning the last page and letting the story sink in, I found comfort in the wisdom gained from Mel and the supporting characters she came across throughout the book. I’m very thankful for this work, and certainly recommend picking up a copy!
After turning the last page and letting the story sink in, I found comfort in the wisdom gained from Mel and the supporting characters she came across throughout the book. I’m very thankful for this work, and certainly recommend picking up a copy!
Read
June 13, 2022The author's writing and voice were really strong, and I loved the boldness and bravery of the story. I would read this author again. I must strongly caution anyone who has struggles related to weight and body image, however. This book might not be for you.
December 31, 2022
a story roughly based on the writer's own experiences. it was interesting to learn about certain topics. it was a very inspiring read.
April 18, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Baker Publishing Group for this advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
As some of you know, one of my many loves is hiking and being out in the woods. So, naturally, anytime I can get my hands on a book- fiction or non-fiction- about hiking, I am all in. I was excited to get this one, a fictional tale about a woman struggling with an eating disorder who decides to hike toward Mount Rainier as part of her healing journey.
Unfortunately, this one fell flat for me. The two biggest issues I had were the way the eating disorder was portrayed and that, unknowingly, this is Christian fiction.
My issue with the eating disorder portrayal was it almost read like a “how to be anorexic” in the levels of detail about what our protagonist ate and didn’t eat and why. Body image was a very important part of this book, but I didn’t feel it was handled as delicately as it should have been.
I don’t have any issue with Christian fiction, but I don’t choose to read it. I was too far in when I started feeling a preachy theme and looked it up to discover I missed the fact that this is how it’s billed. I wouldn’t steer others away from it, but it wasn’t for me.
The writing is very good and the story was interesting, but it just didn’t gel for me in the end. I wish I had liked it more - the theme is excellent and the cover art is gorgeous! I appreciate being given a chance to review it early.
As some of you know, one of my many loves is hiking and being out in the woods. So, naturally, anytime I can get my hands on a book- fiction or non-fiction- about hiking, I am all in. I was excited to get this one, a fictional tale about a woman struggling with an eating disorder who decides to hike toward Mount Rainier as part of her healing journey.
Unfortunately, this one fell flat for me. The two biggest issues I had were the way the eating disorder was portrayed and that, unknowingly, this is Christian fiction.
My issue with the eating disorder portrayal was it almost read like a “how to be anorexic” in the levels of detail about what our protagonist ate and didn’t eat and why. Body image was a very important part of this book, but I didn’t feel it was handled as delicately as it should have been.
I don’t have any issue with Christian fiction, but I don’t choose to read it. I was too far in when I started feeling a preachy theme and looked it up to discover I missed the fact that this is how it’s billed. I wouldn’t steer others away from it, but it wasn’t for me.
The writing is very good and the story was interesting, but it just didn’t gel for me in the end. I wish I had liked it more - the theme is excellent and the cover art is gorgeous! I appreciate being given a chance to review it early.
June 20, 2022
This book resonates so deeply with me.
Eating disorders are something that are currently very close to my heart, because I have people in my life I care so deeply about struggling to find their way through.
I loved the story, loved hearing from Mel.
It is absolutely heartbreaking, yet oh so beautiful.
Mel has never been enough, and that’s always been all she ever wanted. To be enough. For her mom. Her boyfriend. Even herself. And that is how she somehow finds herself in this terrible, terrible place in life.
Her doctor warns her that she must be admitted to a rehab center to have any hope of recovering. Instead, she goes home to her apartment, pulls out her trusty maps, and heads out on the longest walk ever. She has determined to walk from Grand Rapids, MI to Mount Rainier, WA.
Yes, like I said. This story is not for the faint of heart.
I was privileged to see Mt. Rainier just two years ago, and I loved it (it was a highlight of our trip), so I can easily see the pull it could have on someone.
But the journey of desperation that Mel is on, only one step away from death at times…I was reminded how fragile life really is, and that we are all only a few steps away from making choices that could lead us in a bad direction.
For anyone who has someone in their life with an eating disorder, I can't recommend this book highly enough. It gives an excellent insight into the way that affects the brain.
I will remember this book for a very long time.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Eating disorders are something that are currently very close to my heart, because I have people in my life I care so deeply about struggling to find their way through.
I loved the story, loved hearing from Mel.
It is absolutely heartbreaking, yet oh so beautiful.
Mel has never been enough, and that’s always been all she ever wanted. To be enough. For her mom. Her boyfriend. Even herself. And that is how she somehow finds herself in this terrible, terrible place in life.
Her doctor warns her that she must be admitted to a rehab center to have any hope of recovering. Instead, she goes home to her apartment, pulls out her trusty maps, and heads out on the longest walk ever. She has determined to walk from Grand Rapids, MI to Mount Rainier, WA.
Yes, like I said. This story is not for the faint of heart.
I was privileged to see Mt. Rainier just two years ago, and I loved it (it was a highlight of our trip), so I can easily see the pull it could have on someone.
But the journey of desperation that Mel is on, only one step away from death at times…I was reminded how fragile life really is, and that we are all only a few steps away from making choices that could lead us in a bad direction.
For anyone who has someone in their life with an eating disorder, I can't recommend this book highly enough. It gives an excellent insight into the way that affects the brain.
I will remember this book for a very long time.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
May 21, 2022
This book gets my nomination for book of the year, hands down. It is he breathtaking and awe-inspiring story of a young woman named Mel Ellis who suffers from an eating disorder and a lack of self worth that is slowly killing her. With nothing to lose and everything to gain, she decides to take a pilgrimage on foot from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Mount Ranier in Washington state. The people she meets along the way are both memorable and inspirational. They don’t only insist on feeding her physically, but they also feed her hungry soul. What she is searching for is not found in a protein bar or fewer pounds on the scale, but it is found within herself if she can only survive to discover that truth. This book is a testament to the God who created each of us and who loves each of us as though there is only one of us. Mel realizes that she is damaged goods and throughout the book she has to come to terms with the fact that she can never do enough or be enough to be accepted. She just has to accept that she is. Her pilgrimage is a story that needed to be told and is told in a sweeping saga, complete with beautiful imagery of all that she sees and experiences. My favorite characters besides Mel are Chrystal and David, a sister and her young brother, who offer Mel shelter, first aid and a family that accepts her just as she is. I loved this book and all of its beautiful descriptive passages, but mostly I enjoyed the heartfelt message of hope that it gives.
Disclaimer
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
Disclaimer
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”
March 22, 2022
An interesting look inside a person’s brain that is suffering from an eating disorder. It does help you understand how maybe to walk along side them. In someways I was left feeling that I didn’t totally understand everything author Autumn Lytle was trying to tell us. But I did love that she included so many people to help Mel in her journey and one of the best part is not one of them screamed at her to get better.
Lytle makes it perfectly clear this is not the book to read to over come an eating disorder,it is a book to help the rest of understand better.
Lytle makes it perfectly clear this is not the book to read to over come an eating disorder,it is a book to help the rest of understand better.
November 3, 2022
This book has a beautiful title and a beautiful cover, but does it contain a beautiful story? All I can say is you won’t be disappointed should you decide to pick this one up!
The story is about a girl called Mel, who has an eating disorder. This terrifying illness has ruined her life and landed her in hospital multiple times, the sad reality of this illness is explained sensitively throughout the story.
Mel is aware of how much she has put herself and the people around her though, but she doesn’t seem to really care, she comes across like she has an attitude problem and just wants to be left alone, she is in denial about her illness and believes she can deal with it and control it herself. There is a lot to this story so from this point forward i'll be brief!
Mel is released from hospital and fired from her job, she then decides to go against the plan her doctors have put in place for her and heads out alone on a hike - now, this is the part I had a slight problem with, Mel believes that this journey is a calling from God, her pilgrimage as she calls it, she intends to hike and basically find the answers to her many problems, mentally she is not in a good place and how anyone in her physical and mental state can even walk to the end of the street without collapsing, let alone hike half way across the globe is beyond me.
However, I did like the way the book goes deeply into the thought process of a person with an eating disorder when they are planning a journey.
There is far too much to say about this book so I will leave it there with the suggestion that you pick it up!
The story is about a girl called Mel, who has an eating disorder. This terrifying illness has ruined her life and landed her in hospital multiple times, the sad reality of this illness is explained sensitively throughout the story.
Mel is aware of how much she has put herself and the people around her though, but she doesn’t seem to really care, she comes across like she has an attitude problem and just wants to be left alone, she is in denial about her illness and believes she can deal with it and control it herself. There is a lot to this story so from this point forward i'll be brief!
Mel is released from hospital and fired from her job, she then decides to go against the plan her doctors have put in place for her and heads out alone on a hike - now, this is the part I had a slight problem with, Mel believes that this journey is a calling from God, her pilgrimage as she calls it, she intends to hike and basically find the answers to her many problems, mentally she is not in a good place and how anyone in her physical and mental state can even walk to the end of the street without collapsing, let alone hike half way across the globe is beyond me.
However, I did like the way the book goes deeply into the thought process of a person with an eating disorder when they are planning a journey.
There is far too much to say about this book so I will leave it there with the suggestion that you pick it up!
June 13, 2022
This was a very difficult book for me to read. Someone close to me is dealing with the same thing Mel is. It was hard to be in Mel’s head and think this might be the same thoughts this other person in my life thinks. There were times I didn’t like Mel and times I wanted to hug her.
I also wasn’t sure if I would find this book interesting since it’s Mel by herself but she meets people along the way and it was very interesting and the people she met were all interesting and played a part in her healing.
This book doesn’t get wrapped up all nice and neat. Actually, I had a different ending in my head but sometimes a messing ending is okay, because that is they way real life is.
I will say I struggled with the author capitalizing the work earth, like it was a “being” and I don’t like the way Christians were portrayed in the book. The truth is, the things that Mel’s mom said were true, it was just the way she said them that needed some work. I almost felt like this was a Christian bashing book and made Christians look bad and showed people with no faith as kinder then Christians.
Aside from that it was a good book.
A copy of this book was given to me through the publisher. All opinions are my own.
I also wasn’t sure if I would find this book interesting since it’s Mel by herself but she meets people along the way and it was very interesting and the people she met were all interesting and played a part in her healing.
This book doesn’t get wrapped up all nice and neat. Actually, I had a different ending in my head but sometimes a messing ending is okay, because that is they way real life is.
I will say I struggled with the author capitalizing the work earth, like it was a “being” and I don’t like the way Christians were portrayed in the book. The truth is, the things that Mel’s mom said were true, it was just the way she said them that needed some work. I almost felt like this was a Christian bashing book and made Christians look bad and showed people with no faith as kinder then Christians.
Aside from that it was a good book.
A copy of this book was given to me through the publisher. All opinions are my own.
May 11, 2022
A promising debut novel from an author I'll be watching in future.
This is a thought-provoking read on a lot of levels. I was amazed at how much I actually saw myself in Mel's thought processes and struggles; I've never suffered from an eating disorder, yet I've had many of the same thoughts, fears, and concerns with weight, the numbers on the scale, and corresponding urges to exercise to perhaps unhealthy levels. Frankly, it was eye-opening and humbling.
I loved that Mel continued on her journey to Mt. Rainier--I'm a PNW girl through and through, and any and every PNW reference made me smile. I wish we'd seen more of her recovery process through some form of medical assistance, whether rehab, therapy, a dietitian/nutritionist, etc. Granted, I have NO idea--again, not having actually experienced an eating disorder myself--what the general (or an optimal) approach is on that front, but I do think it would be helpful for those readers who do and who pick up this read.
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This is a thought-provoking read on a lot of levels. I was amazed at how much I actually saw myself in Mel's thought processes and struggles; I've never suffered from an eating disorder, yet I've had many of the same thoughts, fears, and concerns with weight, the numbers on the scale, and corresponding urges to exercise to perhaps unhealthy levels. Frankly, it was eye-opening and humbling.
I loved that Mel continued on her journey to Mt. Rainier--I'm a PNW girl through and through, and any and every PNW reference made me smile. I wish we'd seen more of her recovery process through some form of medical assistance, whether rehab, therapy, a dietitian/nutritionist, etc. Granted, I have NO idea--again, not having actually experienced an eating disorder myself--what the general (or an optimal) approach is on that front, but I do think it would be helpful for those readers who do and who pick up this read.
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
May 16, 2022
All That Fills Us is a beautiful, moving story, but not without triggers for some who may suffer from eating disorders. Even though I’ve never dealt with Anorexia, I had body issues/concerns when I was younger, so I easily connected to and empathized with the main character, Mel.
The opening lines of both the prologue, “I think there was a time in my life when I used to be dry and warm, but I can’t remember it” and Chapter One “The worst part of regaining consciousness was the slow and unavoidable realization that the life I was waking up to was hardly worth the effort” are so profound. They grabbed me instantly and my interest never waned.
I like that the story doesn’t only deal with how she deals with her eating disorder, but also with her healing, faith, and spiritual needs. I love Christian fiction and how it gently inspires and uplifts the reader. This is a captivating read.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
The opening lines of both the prologue, “I think there was a time in my life when I used to be dry and warm, but I can’t remember it” and Chapter One “The worst part of regaining consciousness was the slow and unavoidable realization that the life I was waking up to was hardly worth the effort” are so profound. They grabbed me instantly and my interest never waned.
I like that the story doesn’t only deal with how she deals with her eating disorder, but also with her healing, faith, and spiritual needs. I love Christian fiction and how it gently inspires and uplifts the reader. This is a captivating read.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
July 13, 2022
All That Fills Us was one of those books I had to keep putting down and picking back up immediately. It was written so true to life that sometimes it was a little overwhelming, especially for someone who could relate to the eating disorder symptoms. It was amazingly written, the characters (all of them) were so true to life. I love how Mel thought she had such a great childhood yet as she kept healing, she realized there were things in her childhood that needed sorted through, forgiven and then let go. I love, love, love how throughout her journey she came across people in her path that literally at times, saved her life, and how their meeting and her staying with them for a while changed/blessed them both. I also loved how she wrote postcards to her ex, and then they were able to reconcile, both from a healthier place. This was an amazing book, one who’s details have stayed with me. It was a tough subject and very true-to-life, yet offered so much hope throughout.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher, but was not required to write a positive review. This review is one hundred percent my own honest opinion.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher, but was not required to write a positive review. This review is one hundred percent my own honest opinion.
March 17, 2022
This fiction story follows Mel Ellis, as she embarks on a journey to help herself find a way to overcome an eating disorder that she has. That trip would have her walking to Mt Rainier, in Washington State from Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Ill prepared and not in a healthy state of mind or body, Mel is determined to try and heal herself, rather than the way others think she should go about it..
I have never been that close to anyone with an eating disorder, but this story was eye opening to their actions and thinking. It seems like it would be very hard thing to overcome.
Along her journey Mel reflects on her life and the things that brought this Illness on, but luckily along the way she meets so many people wanting to help her, and offering her words of wisdom, friendships, a welcoming hug, or even a meal to eat.
I really enjoyed this story of reflection and friendships and a will to survives as she see what a healthy life could be through the people she meets.
I would like to thank NetGalley and Revell for a copy of this book.
Ill prepared and not in a healthy state of mind or body, Mel is determined to try and heal herself, rather than the way others think she should go about it..
I have never been that close to anyone with an eating disorder, but this story was eye opening to their actions and thinking. It seems like it would be very hard thing to overcome.
Along her journey Mel reflects on her life and the things that brought this Illness on, but luckily along the way she meets so many people wanting to help her, and offering her words of wisdom, friendships, a welcoming hug, or even a meal to eat.
I really enjoyed this story of reflection and friendships and a will to survives as she see what a healthy life could be through the people she meets.
I would like to thank NetGalley and Revell for a copy of this book.
July 18, 2022
Moving and transformative, this novel take the reader on a journey as Mel faces real demons and struggles in a fictional narrative. I like that the author does not shy away from tough subjects and I really liked that she wrote from her own experience of an eating disorder. I really appreciated the growth that Mel experiences in this novel and I appreciated that faith played a role in Mel’s evolution. This story is eye opening and instills a message of hope. Even if you do not personally struggle with an eating disorder, I think the mental anguish that Mel faces is something that can be extrapolated to other circumstances. This book is heavier than other fiction I’ve enjoyed, but I think the message is worth the read. Recommended!
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell Publishing. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell Publishing. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.
July 6, 2022
I love that Autumn wrote a story that not only would have spoken to her younger, hurting self, but provides incredible insight into the mind and healing journey of someone battling disordered eating. There are so many pictures of how to (and not to) minister to someone in this struggle, and on her website, you can actually find resources for diving further into this book and/or connecting those struggling with an eating disorder with some help. Truthfully, there were so many things in this book that just touched me in a visceral way. As a woman who struggles to believe what God says about my body, and is better at shaming myself than I’d care to admit, I could hear the Lord speaking tenderly to me as I watched this protagonist wrestle.
*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher because the author was going to be a guest on my podcast
*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher because the author was going to be a guest on my podcast
July 9, 2022
This is an amazing story! The author has filled this book with beautiful imagery, fabulous descriptions, and even though it’s about a serious, hard subject, the main character’s journey of self-discovery and healing is exemplary. I didn’t think I’d enjoy this book, but I’m so grateful to be dead wrong! So much in it that I could relate to, along with lots of wisdom.
May 30, 2022
I had mixed emotions when deciding to read this book. I am always excited for debut authors but I knew this book could be heavy. Emotionally I knew it would bring back a lot of memories and painful reminders of my past with my own struggles. This partly is what made me all the more curious on how Lytle would handle a story about a woman who struggles with an eating disorder.
This story is not at all what I expected but it is so much better than I could have imagined. Mel Ellis is a unique character that is very real and I think that Lytle did a fantastic job writing her journey. Mel decides to walk from Michigan to Washington State. I love how this book didn't take us on a popular trail. The healing and journey that Mel goes on is realistic as her mindset and thoughts don't change over night. Even by the end of the book the reader understands that while healing can happen, the struggles and mental battles don't just disappear and I appreciate that. One of my very favorite parts of this book is all of the people that Mel meets along her walk. The author does a great job of creating real characters and showing how people live differently. I love that all of these people aren't cookie cutter perfect or even what you would expect. The ending of this book is so well done and I wasn't sure I would like it. I think Autumn Lytle has done a fantastic job and I am eager to read her next novel.
Five Stars.
"I received this book from Revell for free. All opinions are my own and I was not required to write a positive review."
This story is not at all what I expected but it is so much better than I could have imagined. Mel Ellis is a unique character that is very real and I think that Lytle did a fantastic job writing her journey. Mel decides to walk from Michigan to Washington State. I love how this book didn't take us on a popular trail. The healing and journey that Mel goes on is realistic as her mindset and thoughts don't change over night. Even by the end of the book the reader understands that while healing can happen, the struggles and mental battles don't just disappear and I appreciate that. One of my very favorite parts of this book is all of the people that Mel meets along her walk. The author does a great job of creating real characters and showing how people live differently. I love that all of these people aren't cookie cutter perfect or even what you would expect. The ending of this book is so well done and I wasn't sure I would like it. I think Autumn Lytle has done a fantastic job and I am eager to read her next novel.
Five Stars.
"I received this book from Revell for free. All opinions are my own and I was not required to write a positive review."
August 21, 2022
Oh...I badly wanted to read this for the combination of hiking narrative and eating disorder narrative, but it turns out that both of those are eclipsed by the combination of religion narrative and breakup narrative. Yes: Mel is on a pilgrimage across the US; by the time she reaches Mount Rainier, she is sure, she will have figured things out. She's not so much looking to quash her eating disorder (she hopes instead that leaving her scale behind will not hinder her downward progress) as she is avoiding treatment; she's not so much looking to get over the breakup that precipitated her illness as she is open to wallowing in it.
But here's the thing: we barely see the hike. We barely see Mel hike. There are occasionally mentions of the landscape changing or of her reaching a different established trail that she can follow; we occasionally hear that her feet are blistered or her skin is sunburned. But I don't feel it. I don't feel the anorexia, either: I see it in the limited intake that Mel restricts herself to, and in the worried comments from pretty much everyone she meets. But I've done my own long walk while ill (though not while in so perilous a condition as Mel), and 1) I do not recommend the experience and 2) you feel it. With the amount Mel eats, or more to the point doesn't eat, while she is walking 20+ miles a day with no training, on an extremely restrictive diet (that remains extremely restrictive when she ups her intake enough to no longer pass out) when underweight and malnourished to begin with...the reader should be feeling that too.
The reader should be feeling the ache in the soles of one's feet that comes from walking so long (on pavement or on dirt? We don't know), and the relief that it is to unbuckle your backpack and let it drop at the end of the day, and the slight oof of swinging it back up to carry again in the morning. The reader should be able to feel the way your legs never feel quite right when you're starving, the fatigue that swamps your entire body, the way it gets harder and harder to lift that backpack that Mel never seems to notice. We hear plenty about how dirty and smelly she is, but we never feel the sweat-soaked shirt under her backpack, or the squelch of a soggy sock when you step in a puddle by accident, or the resigned disgust that is putting a crusty pair of socks back on because they're your only option. We don't see her desperation for a shower. We don't see her compulsively planning out each meal, and thinking ahead to when and what the next one will be, and replanning it just in case—even if there's only one option. We should be able to feel the relief of wind on her face on a hot day, or the sudden coolness of stepping into the shade; we should know which parts of the route she remembers for their beauty and which she remembers for having to walk alongside cars spitting exhaust and which she remembers for the mosquitoes. And we don't get any of that.
Instead...we get interactions with strangers in which almost every conversation is profound and in which half the strangers are on pilgrimages of their own (to visit all five Great Lakes; to go to every zoo in the US and apparently ignore the fact that many zoos are terrible places for animals; to take a beloved pet to all its favourite places). We get a lot of rumination about God (which is not at all in the description, though it's less surprising if you've clocked the publisher's name). We get a lot of rumination about how she wasn't good enough for a guy who treated her as though she wasn't good enough for her. Spoiler alert:
So...I read it for the hiking narrative and the eating disorder narrative, and they're both here...but I think I'll have to wait for the next book that combines the two.
But here's the thing: we barely see the hike. We barely see Mel hike. There are occasionally mentions of the landscape changing or of her reaching a different established trail that she can follow; we occasionally hear that her feet are blistered or her skin is sunburned. But I don't feel it. I don't feel the anorexia, either: I see it in the limited intake that Mel restricts herself to, and in the worried comments from pretty much everyone she meets. But I've done my own long walk while ill (though not while in so perilous a condition as Mel), and 1) I do not recommend the experience and 2) you feel it. With the amount Mel eats, or more to the point doesn't eat, while she is walking 20+ miles a day with no training, on an extremely restrictive diet (that remains extremely restrictive when she ups her intake enough to no longer pass out) when underweight and malnourished to begin with...the reader should be feeling that too.
The reader should be feeling the ache in the soles of one's feet that comes from walking so long (on pavement or on dirt? We don't know), and the relief that it is to unbuckle your backpack and let it drop at the end of the day, and the slight oof of swinging it back up to carry again in the morning. The reader should be able to feel the way your legs never feel quite right when you're starving, the fatigue that swamps your entire body, the way it gets harder and harder to lift that backpack that Mel never seems to notice. We hear plenty about how dirty and smelly she is, but we never feel the sweat-soaked shirt under her backpack, or the squelch of a soggy sock when you step in a puddle by accident, or the resigned disgust that is putting a crusty pair of socks back on because they're your only option. We don't see her desperation for a shower. We don't see her compulsively planning out each meal, and thinking ahead to when and what the next one will be, and replanning it just in case—even if there's only one option. We should be able to feel the relief of wind on her face on a hot day, or the sudden coolness of stepping into the shade; we should know which parts of the route she remembers for their beauty and which she remembers for having to walk alongside cars spitting exhaust and which she remembers for the mosquitoes. And we don't get any of that.
Instead...we get interactions with strangers in which almost every conversation is profound and in which half the strangers are on pilgrimages of their own (to visit all five Great Lakes; to go to every zoo in the US and apparently ignore the fact that many zoos are terrible places for animals; to take a beloved pet to all its favourite places). We get a lot of rumination about God (which is not at all in the description, though it's less surprising if you've clocked the publisher's name). We get a lot of rumination about how she wasn't good enough for a guy who treated her as though she wasn't good enough for her. Spoiler alert:
So...I read it for the hiking narrative and the eating disorder narrative, and they're both here...but I think I'll have to wait for the next book that combines the two.
November 7, 2022
“Around me, a cathedral was erected. Pillars of tree trunks, walls of swaying branches, and a domed celling as vast as the sky. Birds sang hymns, laughter echoed like a prayer, and the water we were immersed in became something of a holy sacrament.
Welcome, the cedars whispered.
Welcome to this wild church."
*TRIGGER WARNING: Content in book makes multiple references to eating disorders, weight gain/loss*
I want to write stories that make people feel something, that stick with them longer after they reach the end, and that give people hope when they feel hopeless.
I want to write stories like Autumn Lytle’s, All that Fills Us.
I’ll be honest. Initially, I bought this book because of the cover. I mean look at it- it’s gorgeous 😍
But I also got this book because it’s about a girl suffering from an eating disorder who decides to do the unthinkable and thru hike from Michigan all the way to Mt. Rainier. The concept intrigued me- and rightly so.
A story so raw and real and beautiful and healing, you feel like you’re there, and you find yourself in its pages- whether you relate to the main character or one of the other many members of its colorful cast.
This book came to me during a time when my heart was hurting and as the main character Mel, journeyed from Michigan to Mount Rainier on foot, I journeyed too. I cried with Mel, I laughed with Mel, and I rediscovered as she did- that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness sake- will. be. filled.
Thank you, Autumn, for breaking open your heart to pen these words so us, as your readers- could piece ours back together.💕
Welcome, the cedars whispered.
Welcome to this wild church."
*TRIGGER WARNING: Content in book makes multiple references to eating disorders, weight gain/loss*
I want to write stories that make people feel something, that stick with them longer after they reach the end, and that give people hope when they feel hopeless.
I want to write stories like Autumn Lytle’s, All that Fills Us.
I’ll be honest. Initially, I bought this book because of the cover. I mean look at it- it’s gorgeous 😍
But I also got this book because it’s about a girl suffering from an eating disorder who decides to do the unthinkable and thru hike from Michigan all the way to Mt. Rainier. The concept intrigued me- and rightly so.
A story so raw and real and beautiful and healing, you feel like you’re there, and you find yourself in its pages- whether you relate to the main character or one of the other many members of its colorful cast.
This book came to me during a time when my heart was hurting and as the main character Mel, journeyed from Michigan to Mount Rainier on foot, I journeyed too. I cried with Mel, I laughed with Mel, and I rediscovered as she did- that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness sake- will. be. filled.
Thank you, Autumn, for breaking open your heart to pen these words so us, as your readers- could piece ours back together.💕
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