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L'altra metà dell'amore
È il 1963. Mary Bradford (alias Mouse) ha tredici anni quando viene spedita al Collegio Femminile di Bath. Mouse, orfana di madre, con una leggera gobba lasciata da una malattia infantile, si sente molto ai margini, un po’ anche per sua volontà. Non ha nessuna voglia di inserirsi tra le ragazze “normali” e si rifiuta di soddisfare le aspettative delle donne più grandi di lei, come le insegnanti zitelle e le madri eleganti delle sue compagne. Sceglie con cura i suoi alleati: la sua gobba, che chiama Alice, e John F. Kennedy, a cui scrive lunghe lettere chiedendo e dando consigli.
Nell’istituto conosce la ribelle Paulie Sykes che, sotto le mentite spoglie di un ragazzo, ha una relazione con la sua compagna di stanza Tory.
È lei a far aprire gli occhi a Mary sui pregiudizi che da sempre contraddistinguono i rapporti tra uomini e donne. A un tratto le cose precipitano. L’inganno di Paulie viene scoperto e ciò che era iniziato come un gioco sfocia in tragedia. Uno spaccato di vita raccontato in prima persona da Mouse, ormai grande e in pace con se stessa.
Il romanzo bestseller di Susan Swan, da cui è stato tratto un film di grande successo, è una confessione adolescenziale, l’urlo rivoluzionario di una giovane donna e un’analisi della figura femminile in una società maschilista. Un libro che racconta la scoperta di sé e del sesso, il peso della diversità in un mondo spesso ostile. Susan Swan parla di rabbia e lotta di genere con una penna incisiva e al tempo stesso ironica e leggera. Mouse Bradford – saggia, spiritosa e vulnerabile – è un’eroina indimenticabile.
Nell’istituto conosce la ribelle Paulie Sykes che, sotto le mentite spoglie di un ragazzo, ha una relazione con la sua compagna di stanza Tory.
È lei a far aprire gli occhi a Mary sui pregiudizi che da sempre contraddistinguono i rapporti tra uomini e donne. A un tratto le cose precipitano. L’inganno di Paulie viene scoperto e ciò che era iniziato come un gioco sfocia in tragedia. Uno spaccato di vita raccontato in prima persona da Mouse, ormai grande e in pace con se stessa.
Il romanzo bestseller di Susan Swan, da cui è stato tratto un film di grande successo, è una confessione adolescenziale, l’urlo rivoluzionario di una giovane donna e un’analisi della figura femminile in una società maschilista. Un libro che racconta la scoperta di sé e del sesso, il peso della diversità in un mondo spesso ostile. Susan Swan parla di rabbia e lotta di genere con una penna incisiva e al tempo stesso ironica e leggera. Mouse Bradford – saggia, spiritosa e vulnerabile – è un’eroina indimenticabile.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
24 people are currently reading
1722 people want to read
About the author
Susan Swan
10 books110 followersJournalist, feminist, novelist, activist, teacher, Susan Swan’s critically acclaimed fiction has been published in twenty countries including the US, the UK, Spain, the Netherlands, and Russia. She is a co-founder of the Carol Shields Prize for Fiction, the largest literary award in the world for women.
Swan’s new book, Big Girls Don’t Cry: A Memoir about Taking Up Space, was published by HarperCollins in Canada and Beacon Press in the US in May 2025. Big Girls Don’t Cry tells the story of how Swan’s Amazonian size shaped her life. To be tall is to be big and to be big is a no-no for women of all sizes, Swan writes. Nobel Prize winner Olga Tokarczuk says of Swan’s writing that it offers “not only an enjoyable read but the chance to think and reflect on the vast complex living entity that is the world.”
Swan’s other books of fiction include The Dead Celebrities Club (2019), a fascinating account of a Toronto-born tycoon jailed for fraud in the US; The Western Light (2012), a story about a girl’s love for a dubious father substitute who is also an ex-NHL star and convicted murderer; What Casanova Told Me (2004), a novel that links two women from different centuries through a long-lost journal about travels with Casanova in Italy, Greece and Turkey; Stupid Boys are Good to Relax With (1996), a collection of short stories about young women and how they relate to men; The Wives of Bath (1993), an international bestseller about a murder in a girls’ boarding school; The Last of the Golden Girls (1989), a novel about the sexual awakening of young women in an Ontario cottage country; and The Biggest Modern Woman of the World (1983), a saucy portrait of the real-life Victorian giantess Anna Swan who exhibited with P.T. Barnum.
A retired professor emerita at York University, Swan mentors creative writing students at the University of Toronto. As York’s Millennial Robarts Chair in Canadian Studies, she hosted the successful Millennial Wisdom Symposium in Toronto featuring writers and historians debating the lessons of the past. As a former chair of The Writers’ Union of Canada, Swan brought in a new benefits deal for Canadian writers and self-employed Canadians in the arts.
Susan Swan makes her home and garden in Toronto’s Annex neighbourhood.
Swan’s new book, Big Girls Don’t Cry: A Memoir about Taking Up Space, was published by HarperCollins in Canada and Beacon Press in the US in May 2025. Big Girls Don’t Cry tells the story of how Swan’s Amazonian size shaped her life. To be tall is to be big and to be big is a no-no for women of all sizes, Swan writes. Nobel Prize winner Olga Tokarczuk says of Swan’s writing that it offers “not only an enjoyable read but the chance to think and reflect on the vast complex living entity that is the world.”
Swan’s other books of fiction include The Dead Celebrities Club (2019), a fascinating account of a Toronto-born tycoon jailed for fraud in the US; The Western Light (2012), a story about a girl’s love for a dubious father substitute who is also an ex-NHL star and convicted murderer; What Casanova Told Me (2004), a novel that links two women from different centuries through a long-lost journal about travels with Casanova in Italy, Greece and Turkey; Stupid Boys are Good to Relax With (1996), a collection of short stories about young women and how they relate to men; The Wives of Bath (1993), an international bestseller about a murder in a girls’ boarding school; The Last of the Golden Girls (1989), a novel about the sexual awakening of young women in an Ontario cottage country; and The Biggest Modern Woman of the World (1983), a saucy portrait of the real-life Victorian giantess Anna Swan who exhibited with P.T. Barnum.
A retired professor emerita at York University, Swan mentors creative writing students at the University of Toronto. As York’s Millennial Robarts Chair in Canadian Studies, she hosted the successful Millennial Wisdom Symposium in Toronto featuring writers and historians debating the lessons of the past. As a former chair of The Writers’ Union of Canada, Swan brought in a new benefits deal for Canadian writers and self-employed Canadians in the arts.
Susan Swan makes her home and garden in Toronto’s Annex neighbourhood.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
June 12, 2018
The summary on the back of this book was brief and I was not expecting the story to turn out as it did. I did keep going to the end because I was expecting some sort of murder mystery. I found the whole thing a bit unpleasant to be honest, maybe I am a bit of a prude but not every boarding school or other place where a group of females live together ends up with this sort of behaviour. I had not heard of the film and thought this was a murder set in a school but it was far more than that.
I found the whole Paulie and Lewis thing to be a little implausible I don’t think it would have been possible in real life. There was a considerable age difference between Paulie and Mary (Mouse) and I think Mouse was probably unaware of most of what was going on.
The final shock of the book left me feeling a little nauseated and I would not have kept reading had I suspected what was to happen.
I am sure that the writing is excellent and there are many great reviews but the book was just not for me.
I found the whole Paulie and Lewis thing to be a little implausible I don’t think it would have been possible in real life. There was a considerable age difference between Paulie and Mary (Mouse) and I think Mouse was probably unaware of most of what was going on.
The final shock of the book left me feeling a little nauseated and I would not have kept reading had I suspected what was to happen.
I am sure that the writing is excellent and there are many great reviews but the book was just not for me.
June 6, 2020
Lost and delirious indeed!
Ugh- I'm torn between this sublime work and its equally good movie. Though both of them being two very different animals - I believe this is a very important book.
Mouse charmed me.
I cannot recommend this enough, even to myself and I've already read it!
Will read it again, to be sure.
March 10, 2015
This is one of the oddest books I have ever read, and I disliked some parts of it as much as I liked others.
I haven't seen the film adaptation, but I usually prefer not to see the film version of a book until I have read the book itself, so that my own interpretation precedes the director's.
However, in the case of this novel, I needed all the help I could get, as I have no idea whether I simply failed to understand the author's primary concept, or whether it was as muddled as it appeared to be.
I've made five attempts to explain the various themes the books deals with in this review, and failed in every attempt – which should give you some idea of how confusing and often contradictory those themes are.
As a result, I'm just going to list some of the ingredients that Susan Swan chucked into this novel and let you draw your own conclusions:
Feminism
Women being treated as being of less value than men
Women being weak and silly when compared to men.
Penis envy
A sometimes sympathetic, sometimes mocking approach to lesbianism
A child with an Electra complex
A drunken stepmother
A dead mother
A totally-random written correspondence with JFK
A dwarf
A giant lesbian
Flagellation
King Kong
Death
Murder
A cycling ghost
A hump-backed person whose hump has a name and a personality.
Now you may be starting to understand why I genuinely have no idea whether Swan's novel is primarily a feminist tract; an homage to Sigmund Freud; a black comedy; a coming-of-age novel...or a genre-busting combination of all the above, with some Southern Gothic thrown in for good measure.
If it was supposed to be the latter, then this book proves that ignoring genre conventions doesn't always make for more interesting results. I certainly didn't feel it did in the case of "The Wives of Bath".
This novel felt like a hotch-potch of partially-realised ideas, in which otherwise-compelling characters were often wasted in the service of a plot whose main purpose seemed to be a rather incoherent and clumsy discussion of gender identity. The result was a patchy novel that was often frustrating and ultimately unsatisfying.
On the upside, the voice of the heroine, Mouse Bradford, is brilliantly realised, and the humour that derives from her narration is both wry and laugh-out-loud funny on occasion.
The characterisation of most of the other characters is also largely successful, which only serves to make the novel itself more frustrating. It's a shame that such great characters were wasted on an often illogical and/or heavy-handed pseudo-psychoanalytical plot.
I haven't seen the film adaptation, but I usually prefer not to see the film version of a book until I have read the book itself, so that my own interpretation precedes the director's.
However, in the case of this novel, I needed all the help I could get, as I have no idea whether I simply failed to understand the author's primary concept, or whether it was as muddled as it appeared to be.
I've made five attempts to explain the various themes the books deals with in this review, and failed in every attempt – which should give you some idea of how confusing and often contradictory those themes are.
As a result, I'm just going to list some of the ingredients that Susan Swan chucked into this novel and let you draw your own conclusions:
Feminism
Women being treated as being of less value than men
Women being weak and silly when compared to men.
Penis envy
A sometimes sympathetic, sometimes mocking approach to lesbianism
A child with an Electra complex
A drunken stepmother
A dead mother
A totally-random written correspondence with JFK
A dwarf
A giant lesbian
Flagellation
King Kong
Death
Murder
A cycling ghost
A hump-backed person whose hump has a name and a personality.
Now you may be starting to understand why I genuinely have no idea whether Swan's novel is primarily a feminist tract; an homage to Sigmund Freud; a black comedy; a coming-of-age novel...or a genre-busting combination of all the above, with some Southern Gothic thrown in for good measure.
If it was supposed to be the latter, then this book proves that ignoring genre conventions doesn't always make for more interesting results. I certainly didn't feel it did in the case of "The Wives of Bath".
This novel felt like a hotch-potch of partially-realised ideas, in which otherwise-compelling characters were often wasted in the service of a plot whose main purpose seemed to be a rather incoherent and clumsy discussion of gender identity. The result was a patchy novel that was often frustrating and ultimately unsatisfying.
On the upside, the voice of the heroine, Mouse Bradford, is brilliantly realised, and the humour that derives from her narration is both wry and laugh-out-loud funny on occasion.
The characterisation of most of the other characters is also largely successful, which only serves to make the novel itself more frustrating. It's a shame that such great characters were wasted on an often illogical and/or heavy-handed pseudo-psychoanalytical plot.
August 24, 2016
I'm not sure exactly what to say about this book, except how much I enjoyed reading it. Susan Swan is a new author for me. I decided to try and find this book based on a recommendation in a book about Canadian Literature. I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked it up; the various comments varied from 'A haunting new novel...' to 'Extremely funny... a thoroughly modern tale of shifting sexualities...'... So with that information, I started The Wives Of Bath. I don't want to spoiler the book as there is a very interesting 'twist', if you want to call it that, even though throughout the story there are hints about how it might end. It is the story of a young teenage girl, Mary Beatrice Bradford, aka Mouse, who is sent to a boarding school for girls, on the outskirts of Toronto. Mouse has a slight deformity in her back and is shy about it. She is the narrator of this tale and uses various forms of communication to impart this interesting unique story; letters to JFK (a man she admires greatly), conversations with her back (nicknamed Alice), and straight story-telling. The focus of her story is her room-mate, Paulie Lewis, an orphan who the headmistress is trying to help. The other room-mate is Victoria, who is in love with Paulie's brother, an older boy who works at the school. There are twists in this tale I won't tell you about, but suffice it to say, that the story is so well-written and interesting, that you will be drawn in and eventually, won't be able to put it down to find out the ending. There are fascinating relationships; with Mouse and her father and stepmother, with the various girls, with Mouse and Paulie, with Mouse and the headmistress. I guess this could qualify as Young Adult, but a mature Young Adult. A pleasant surprise and I highly recommend.
November 23, 2021
Mouse and Alice had a lot in common, They are both 13 both lonely, mostly ignored and unwanted. I guess this is why they had so many conversations.
Alice is not as smart as Mouse but she keeps Alice on her toes. Only thing is Alice has always caused Mouse trouble. Alice always had ache's and pains but she tries not to complain. Alice always tries to cheer Mouse up and when Mouse gets scared of puberty, Alice calms her down with her wicked sense of humor comebacks. Mouse never wanted breast and didn't really care for even thinking a man has a penis but Alice thought a man's penis is sorta kinda interesting. Mouse said she was not impressed at all. But Alice was impressed when Mouse got a response letter back from The President of the United States Mr. Kennedy. Alice was impressed to. But I thought If the President of the United States Could write Mouse a letter--it was pretty sad and pathetic her dad couldn't even bother to write her. (what a dick) that is a different sort of penis. Alice say's to Mouse one day, "your getting tired of me aren't you"? Mouse dose not respond. What do you say to a friend you have had your whole life when you want to be rid of them in the worst way but still love them? Mouse lies and tells Alice "never". By the time Alice and Mouse were 16, Mouse didn't talk to Alice anymore. As with friendships that start in childhood sometimes don't last your whole life--althought you never forget them.
Alice is not as smart as Mouse but she keeps Alice on her toes. Only thing is Alice has always caused Mouse trouble. Alice always had ache's and pains but she tries not to complain. Alice always tries to cheer Mouse up and when Mouse gets scared of puberty, Alice calms her down with her wicked sense of humor comebacks. Mouse never wanted breast and didn't really care for even thinking a man has a penis but Alice thought a man's penis is sorta kinda interesting. Mouse said she was not impressed at all. But Alice was impressed when Mouse got a response letter back from The President of the United States Mr. Kennedy. Alice was impressed to. But I thought If the President of the United States Could write Mouse a letter--it was pretty sad and pathetic her dad couldn't even bother to write her. (what a dick) that is a different sort of penis. Alice say's to Mouse one day, "your getting tired of me aren't you"? Mouse dose not respond. What do you say to a friend you have had your whole life when you want to be rid of them in the worst way but still love them? Mouse lies and tells Alice "never". By the time Alice and Mouse were 16, Mouse didn't talk to Alice anymore. As with friendships that start in childhood sometimes don't last your whole life--althought you never forget them.
September 1, 2015
3.5/5
This was weird, and I really liked the writing. But as unique and enjoyable as the writing was, I felt very removed reading it, despite how poetic it was. So I got into it, but I didn't REALLY get into it, and I was disappointed.
My favourite parts were the court case chapters. And for such a short book (237 pages) it had 53 chapters. So I liked that, because books with chapters that are too long? Not a fan.
I was also led to believe this would be very LGBTQ full of lesbian love affairs, but I actually found Mouse incredibly hetero and was bummed by the fact that one of the characters whom I thought Mouse had feelings for barely showed up in the book for spoiler-y reasons. Because the rest of the book was filled with either hetero incest or just plain normal hetero.
And since Mouse tells the story, the background LGBTQ stuff read with discomfort and squick and several layers of removed, rather than in your face the way the prologue led me to believe.
But it was still good and weird. It's just hard to get a hold of a copy so overall, I wouldn't recommend anyone go dig it out. It's not THAT good.
I'll edit this later to include a favourite passage/part so you can truly understand Mouse, because everyone should get a little peek into her life.
This was weird, and I really liked the writing. But as unique and enjoyable as the writing was, I felt very removed reading it, despite how poetic it was. So I got into it, but I didn't REALLY get into it, and I was disappointed.
My favourite parts were the court case chapters. And for such a short book (237 pages) it had 53 chapters. So I liked that, because books with chapters that are too long? Not a fan.
I was also led to believe this would be very LGBTQ full of lesbian love affairs, but I actually found Mouse incredibly hetero and was bummed by the fact that one of the characters whom I thought Mouse had feelings for barely showed up in the book for spoiler-y reasons. Because the rest of the book was filled with either hetero incest or just plain normal hetero.
And since Mouse tells the story, the background LGBTQ stuff read with discomfort and squick and several layers of removed, rather than in your face the way the prologue led me to believe.
But it was still good and weird. It's just hard to get a hold of a copy so overall, I wouldn't recommend anyone go dig it out. It's not THAT good.
I'll edit this later to include a favourite passage/part so you can truly understand Mouse, because everyone should get a little peek into her life.
May 8, 2018
This book wasn't was I expected at all. A while back I watched the movie "Lost & Delirious" and loved it, so I was excited when I heard it was based on this book. Unfortunately, the book turned out to be very different from the movie. Both were set in a Canadian boarding school, the characters had the same names and some of the same character traits, but that's about it.
The plot was very different. And I can't really say what the main theme was. Gender identity? Feminism? Teenage drama? It never became clear to me.
And then I had huge issues with the portrayal of Paulie. I am aware that the book is set in the 60s and was written in the 90s, so of course it is a bit dated, but that doesnt't excuse the awful portrayal of Paulie
The plot was very different. And I can't really say what the main theme was. Gender identity? Feminism? Teenage drama? It never became clear to me.
And then I had huge issues with the portrayal of Paulie. I am aware that the book is set in the 60s and was written in the 90s, so of course it is a bit dated, but that doesnt't excuse the awful portrayal of Paulie
May 1, 2015
Parts I loved, parts hard to read. I also love this movie, even though I personally found them very different from each other. But as with most, the book is better. It's all about the power of the imagination, and I'll ALWAYS love that :-)
May 3, 2022
Questo libro ha sicuramente avuto un effetto particolare su di me perché era da un bel po’ che non leggevo qualcosa che mi catturasse dalla prima pagina. Il problema con questo libro, invece, è che è eccessivamente frammentario.
Infatti, ci troviamo in Canada negli anni 60. La nostra protagonista, Mouse, viene mandata in un collegio femminile e qui avrà come compagna di stanza Paulie. Se dovessi dirvi chi è Paulie o cosa fa, vi spoilererei tutto il libro.
In realtà, però, non c’è molto altro nel libro se non argomenti che vengono intrapresi e lasciati a metà. O in sospeso. Per esempio, sarebbe stato interessante approfondire la relazione tra Mouse e i suoi genitori, assenti e che se ne fregano della sua presenza. Anche il rapporto di Mouse con la sua disabilità poteva essere meglio trattato.
Soprattutto, poi, credo che la tematica di Paulie sia un po’ confusionaria.
In generale, é un libro che può portarti a inseguire la storia ma che alla fine non è quello che ti aspetti. La copertina inganna, così come la premessa delle prime pagine (no, questo libro non è un murder mystery). La conclusione è stata, più che soddisfacente, un po’ troppo inaspettata e grottesca.
Infatti, ci troviamo in Canada negli anni 60. La nostra protagonista, Mouse, viene mandata in un collegio femminile e qui avrà come compagna di stanza Paulie. Se dovessi dirvi chi è Paulie o cosa fa, vi spoilererei tutto il libro.
In realtà, però, non c’è molto altro nel libro se non argomenti che vengono intrapresi e lasciati a metà. O in sospeso. Per esempio, sarebbe stato interessante approfondire la relazione tra Mouse e i suoi genitori, assenti e che se ne fregano della sua presenza. Anche il rapporto di Mouse con la sua disabilità poteva essere meglio trattato.
Soprattutto, poi, credo che la tematica di Paulie sia un po’ confusionaria.
In generale, é un libro che può portarti a inseguire la storia ma che alla fine non è quello che ti aspetti. La copertina inganna, così come la premessa delle prime pagine (no, questo libro non è un murder mystery). La conclusione è stata, più che soddisfacente, un po’ troppo inaspettata e grottesca.
November 23, 2023
TW: SA, homophobia, transphobia
I loved the movie and have been looking for the book for a while. In a way, I like the ending of the book almost more because there is still hope for Tory and Paulie.
Set in the 60s, this book unfortunately encompasses a lot of the prejudices of the time. I wasn’t fully sure if this could be overlooked for that reason and the fact that Mouse was so overtly unlikeable, but in the end decided something should have been stated better than it was, some sort of understanding of trans feelings and non-binary feelings instead of stating it as just a lack of respect for women. There was obviously love and a lot of gender political discussions that could have occurred that just didn’t.
I loved the movie and have been looking for the book for a while. In a way, I like the ending of the book almost more because there is still hope for Tory and Paulie.
Set in the 60s, this book unfortunately encompasses a lot of the prejudices of the time. I wasn’t fully sure if this could be overlooked for that reason and the fact that Mouse was so overtly unlikeable, but in the end decided something should have been stated better than it was, some sort of understanding of trans feelings and non-binary feelings instead of stating it as just a lack of respect for women. There was obviously love and a lot of gender political discussions that could have occurred that just didn’t.
January 20, 2021
Expected to read the book version of the movie Lost and Delirious, for shits and giggles, but was pleasantly surprised with something even weirder.
August 11, 2021
I loved the movie and heard the book was completely different so now I'm intrigued on how different it is.
That was my "review" when I marked this book as to-read 7 years ago. And I can say that the statement is very true about the two mediums being different. The film changed much but kept the spirit of the source material alive.
The book is told from Mouse's POV, a young girl who's sent off to an all girls school by her stepmother. She rooms with Pauline and Tory, two girls who are best friends and very close. Tory is dating Pauline's brother, Lewis. I can't go into any more details than that without spoiling major plot lines. It definitely threw me for a loop. The final act of murder, the most I'm willing to reveal, was shocking. I can see why the film chose to change the ending. The book makes Pauline a much less sympathetic character. Actually, she gets all her charisma from the film adaptation. The book character is completely obnoxious and I could not have cared less about her love for Tory.
Mouse is an entertaining voice and I liked her a lot. She was relatable and I sympathized with her the most. Her conversations with Alice, the name she's given to the hump on her shoulder, were both endearing and cringy. Her overall tone didn't change too much which translated to her being true to herself throughout the whole story, in my opinion. Overall, I enjoyed the novel but prefer the film over the book.
That was my "review" when I marked this book as to-read 7 years ago. And I can say that the statement is very true about the two mediums being different. The film changed much but kept the spirit of the source material alive.
The book is told from Mouse's POV, a young girl who's sent off to an all girls school by her stepmother. She rooms with Pauline and Tory, two girls who are best friends and very close. Tory is dating Pauline's brother, Lewis. I can't go into any more details than that without spoiling major plot lines. It definitely threw me for a loop. The final act of murder, the most I'm willing to reveal, was shocking. I can see why the film chose to change the ending. The book makes Pauline a much less sympathetic character. Actually, she gets all her charisma from the film adaptation. The book character is completely obnoxious and I could not have cared less about her love for Tory.
Mouse is an entertaining voice and I liked her a lot. She was relatable and I sympathized with her the most. Her conversations with Alice, the name she's given to the hump on her shoulder, were both endearing and cringy. Her overall tone didn't change too much which translated to her being true to herself throughout the whole story, in my opinion. Overall, I enjoyed the novel but prefer the film over the book.
April 29, 2015
I honestly don't know what I expected.
I knew this was the basis for the film Lost and Delirious, so I had a general idea of what this book would be about going in.
But ...
Right away, I could tell this was inspired by the Parker-Hulme case (very loosely inspired, but undoubtedly inspired nonetheless). So I knew then that this book wasn't quite going to be what I expected.
And then it gotworse weird.
I realize this book is over twenty years old at this point, so it's certainly dated in some ways. And the fact that it has a 1960s setting makes it even more so. But I just ... it's hard to say what made me uncomfortable without spoiling a lot of things, but it wasn't just Paulie's actions that were hard to read, but rather, it was the way how the book was almost trying to get us to agree with the arguments the characters made .
I just don't know. I came into this book thinking it would be about Story A, with maybe some shades of Story B, but ultimately the book was about Story Z, and honestly, I'm not really sure what the point even was.
I knew this was the basis for the film Lost and Delirious, so I had a general idea of what this book would be about going in.
But ...
Right away, I could tell this was inspired by the Parker-Hulme case (very loosely inspired, but undoubtedly inspired nonetheless). So I knew then that this book wasn't quite going to be what I expected.
And then it got
I realize this book is over twenty years old at this point, so it's certainly dated in some ways. And the fact that it has a 1960s setting makes it even more so. But I just ... it's hard to say what made me uncomfortable without spoiling a lot of things, but it wasn't just Paulie's actions that were hard to read, but rather, it was the way how the book was almost trying to get us to agree with the arguments the characters made .
I just don't know. I came into this book thinking it would be about Story A, with maybe some shades of Story B, but ultimately the book was about Story Z, and honestly, I'm not really sure what the point even was.
July 22, 2014
I found the book to be well written and engaging, and I found the characters to be interesting. I found intriguing the idea that these were girls who didn't want to grow up to be women because society showed them that were weak, especially in all the ways the novel shows how that isn't true.
However. I need 100% fewer books in which trans men cut off cis men's penises to "fool" people.
I think the really frustrating thing is that the author is clearly on the side of "you don't need a penis to be a man." In fact, one character even says "John Wayne would still be John Wayne with a vagina." But she still ultimately ended up telling that story.
I don't regret reading this novel, but I do regret how much award winning fiction seems to be about punishing GLTB people.
However. I need 100% fewer books in which trans men cut off cis men's penises to "fool" people.
I think the really frustrating thing is that the author is clearly on the side of "you don't need a penis to be a man." In fact, one character even says "John Wayne would still be John Wayne with a vagina." But she still ultimately ended up telling that story.
I don't regret reading this novel, but I do regret how much award winning fiction seems to be about punishing GLTB people.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 31, 2010
I picked up this book because I am absolutely in love with the movie Lost and Delirious, which is based on this book. The book is so different from the movie... they're both creepy, but this book just blew me away.
November 30, 2020
This book is massively transphobic and I'm not sure why it has such good reviews on here.
December 15, 2015
Reference to the title.
"...Yes, I knew how Jack must see me and every other girl and woman at my school because we were all Wives of Bath--from the teachers who terrorized us with their bells and gatings to the overfed boarders and snobby day girls, to Paulie and me who tried to play by our own set of rules. But no matter how hard any of us struggled, we still looked dumb in the eyes of somebody like Jack because Bath Ladies College was only a fiefdom in the kingdom of men."
Mouse does try to make sense of it, and in many ways, in historical terms, this does make sense. And although this is not exactly a lesbian novel, it offers some ideas, albeit more like The Well of Loneliness in the sense of hopelessness.
"It did seem unfair that Paulie needed a penis to be a man. John Wayne would still be John Wayne if he had a vagina, wouldn't he? I didn't say anything like this to Paulie, but I hated Canon Quinn and Tory's brother, Rick, for not letting her see Tory. It wasn't as if Paulie were doing anything wrong, exactly. If the world didn't give boys so many advantages, Paulie wouldn't want to be one. At least, that's how I saw it then. Paulie saw it differently, because as far as she was concerned, she was a boy, period."
Mouse is healthier than she knows.
"I couldn't believe my ears. Paulie worried about me being mad at her? Looking back, I understand. Paulie was afraid of losing me. She'd lost her place as Tory's roommate, and she couldn't afford to get on the wrong side of me. She sensed what had started with Morley's death. Despite myself, I was moving away from her. One day at a time, I was leaving Paulie for good."
Mouse does not find women interesting, would prefer to be a male. At a time before women could imagine that things could be different (I know sometimes they were, but not generally), women envied men's privilege.
"...Men had all the luck: they got to be men by an accident of birth. ..."
In a letter to John F. Kennedy, Mouse reflects on what is becoming of her, what Paulie is asking of her, confusing Paulie's beliefs and instructions with reality. But not for long, good Mouse.
"Right now, I'm in a shed with a pigeon. I'm supposed to kill it to prove I'm a man. Well, not a man--you're a man. To prove I'm manly. I don't want to do it, and yet I have to. Paulie says men have to do things to prove they are men. And they kill the things they love--like Oscar Wilde said. That's too much to ask of anybody, but I guess men can't protect women and children unless they learn to be bad. There's no way around it. As Paulie says, women are good only for having babies, and men are in charge of death, which is a very, very tough job. If you want to be as good as a man, you have to learn to administer death, too."
Mouse learns about being a man from Paulie (Lewis), and there is a nice use of a cliché with her name.
"'You see, Bradford? It's as easy as pie. Either you believe in yourself or you don't.'
'Yes,' I said and laughed out loud, startling myself. 'You're either a man or a mouse.'"
Some nice detail about the way the English teacher portrays literature and humourous writing advice.
"...Mrs. Peddie made us memorize the names of trees and plants so that we would be able to refer to flora and fauna as expertly as the British novelists we studied. She sounded so earnest, I thought it was impossible to be a writer unless you could reel off the names of all the flowering deciduous trees, know which tree was the only deciduous pine in the world (the larch), and know how to treat the sting of a blackthorn bush (rub it with the leaf of a burdock). ..."
Mary Beatrice (Mouse) is almost invisible especially to her father, larger than life and yet absent. Very good description of her experience.
"...Morley was a human dirigible growing in volume through the vested midriff and ending far above me in a big distracted balloon head. His smoky blue eyes were fixed on a spot on the horizon I couldn't see.
Then Sal pointed at me and Morley did a double take. He mumbled, 'Oh, here you are, Mouse,' as if I had deliberately disappeared from view when I fumbled with my door handle. I glanced down, as if I didn't mind him overlooking me, and handed out my crutches. Then slowly, very slowly, I swung my feeble legs out of the car."
Thus this strange and disturbing novel BEGINS.
"The ghostly woman on the giant tricycle stared down at me like an old friend. Only 'stared' is the wrong word. The lids of her eyes were collapsed inwards—puckered the way a pair of lips look when all the teeth are removed.
'You,' I said, but the figure didn't seem to hear me. I began to tremble and sigh. Now this odd creature made an excited clicking sound, the kind of coaxing noise you make to a horse. She lifted the handlebars of her bike so that the front wheel reared up on one end.
'Where did you bury him, Mouse? Is he in the geranium garden? Or did you hide him in the old hockey shed?'
'I can't remember,' I said in my meekest voice. Scowling, she settled her shoulders into a racing haunch, as if a hundred unseen bicycle riders were about to overtake her, and pedalled vigorously through the doorway. In the dark below I could hear the clank and rumble of the heating pipes. There was no other way out now. Rising around me on all sides, instead of the grey sandstones of the school—I saw rows of shiny eyeballs with slowly nictitating lids. I swallowed fast and went through the door to find her."
December 30, 2025
The oddness of how the main character learns to cope with loneliness adds to how thematically dark her boarding school experience was. I read this with Lost and Delirious in mind, and although this inspired the movie, it only felt aesthetically similar, but similarly heavy.
Told through the lens of Mary "Mouse" Bradford, a girl who longed for her charismatic dad's attention. A man whom her hometown adored but spared no time for family, leaving her to seek out strange comforts like her pen pal, President John F. Kennedy himself (who, mind you, actually responds once). Along with Kennedy, she would also speak to "Alice", her name for the hunched shoulder she got from Polio as a kid. These are her most consistent comforts.
A third comfort she chases is Pauline Sykes and her "tests". Pauline stages a series of tests the two must endure to become men; for Pauline, this is an exploration into gender identity, and for Mouse, this feels like a fascination for Pauline and a willingness to do what it takes to receive her attention. The tests become increasingly brutal and dangerous to Mouse, but she insists on doing whatever it takes to impress Pauline. The exploration into gender identity was rooted in the 1950s/1960s gender roles of the time. Unfortunately, as Pauline understood it, this meant emulating the degrading treatment of women and assuming a sense of unbridled power that was inaccessible to women.
(Oh, and also King Kong is a really big deal. Can't forget him.)
Told through the lens of Mary "Mouse" Bradford, a girl who longed for her charismatic dad's attention. A man whom her hometown adored but spared no time for family, leaving her to seek out strange comforts like her pen pal, President John F. Kennedy himself (who, mind you, actually responds once). Along with Kennedy, she would also speak to "Alice", her name for the hunched shoulder she got from Polio as a kid. These are her most consistent comforts.
A third comfort she chases is Pauline Sykes and her "tests". Pauline stages a series of tests the two must endure to become men; for Pauline, this is an exploration into gender identity, and for Mouse, this feels like a fascination for Pauline and a willingness to do what it takes to receive her attention. The tests become increasingly brutal and dangerous to Mouse, but she insists on doing whatever it takes to impress Pauline. The exploration into gender identity was rooted in the 1950s/1960s gender roles of the time. Unfortunately, as Pauline understood it, this meant emulating the degrading treatment of women and assuming a sense of unbridled power that was inaccessible to women.
(Oh, and also King Kong is a really big deal. Can't forget him.)
July 27, 2019
So I finally picked this up after learning that one of my favorite movies Lost and Delirious is inspired by this. Please note it is not an actual adaptation as the movie and book are extremely different. The only thing truly similar is the character names are the same and Paulie's personality is pretty on point.
This book was crazy and I loved it. It completely sucked me in and I read it in one day. I think this book is really important because it really was an older book that had topics about gender and sexuality long before those things were ever talked about as they are today. It went there with a character who was born a girl but was actually a boy. I think the author handles it beautifully for the time period it was conceived in. The plot was a little all over the place but that's part of the charm of this story. It was a little annoying how everything was told though Mouse when the movie does give us a bit more Paulie.
All in all this book is a classic in my eyes and I think anyone who wants more LGBTQIA+ in their life should read it.
This book was crazy and I loved it. It completely sucked me in and I read it in one day. I think this book is really important because it really was an older book that had topics about gender and sexuality long before those things were ever talked about as they are today. It went there with a character who was born a girl but was actually a boy. I think the author handles it beautifully for the time period it was conceived in. The plot was a little all over the place but that's part of the charm of this story. It was a little annoying how everything was told though Mouse when the movie does give us a bit more Paulie.
All in all this book is a classic in my eyes and I think anyone who wants more LGBTQIA+ in their life should read it.
February 18, 2022
All'età di 13 anni, Mouse Bradford viene mandata in un collegio femminile dove,tra i vari personaggi,incontra anche Pauline. Quest'ultima, giovane ribelle e irriverente, manifesta comportamenti ambigui tanto che,sin dalle prime pagine del libro, mostra una doppia identità. Difatti, con qualche accorgimento, Pauline si 'trasforma' in Lewis, facendo emergere la sua identità di uomo e sottolineando,con forza, la differenza fisica di genere.
È un romanzo a tratti molto forte,a tratti surreale e confusionario,che confonde le idee al lettore e che,al tempo stesso,lo rende cosciente del fatto che la vicenda narrata, ambienta negli anni 60, risulti essere 'fuori dagli schemi', soprattutto per il periodo storico di riferimento.
La scrittura pulita e delicata, così come la presenza di capitoli brevi e scorrevoli, rendono il libro semplice da leggere e la narrazione semplice da seguire.
Pur trattandosi di una vicenda che unisce diversi temi delicati,tra cui anche l'instabilità psichica e i traumi infantili, questo testo risulta coinvolgente e ben strutturato.
È un romanzo a tratti molto forte,a tratti surreale e confusionario,che confonde le idee al lettore e che,al tempo stesso,lo rende cosciente del fatto che la vicenda narrata, ambienta negli anni 60, risulti essere 'fuori dagli schemi', soprattutto per il periodo storico di riferimento.
La scrittura pulita e delicata, così come la presenza di capitoli brevi e scorrevoli, rendono il libro semplice da leggere e la narrazione semplice da seguire.
Pur trattandosi di una vicenda che unisce diversi temi delicati,tra cui anche l'instabilità psichica e i traumi infantili, questo testo risulta coinvolgente e ben strutturato.
April 21, 2021
I watched Lost & Delirious first before I discovered this book. Thought the movie was okay-ish and was expecting the book to be better than the movie, boy I was wrong. The book and the movie are totally different. The plot, some of the characters, ending etc. This book is more centred to Mouse’s relationship with Morley & Sal and Paulie weird tasks from Kong whereas the movie is more to the development of Tory & Paulie’s relationship.
Even the endings are different. I am aware that the author have warned us from the first few pages that the movie and book are not the same so I’m just gonna judge the book itself. I personally prefer the book’s ending so there goes 1 star from me. The middle pages are pretty boring and I had to drag myself to finish it. However, I like the sense of secrecy throughout the book where Mouse was talking about Paulie’s crime at court. It made the readers eager to know more about what she did. Overall, 2 stars from me 🤟🏻
Even the endings are different. I am aware that the author have warned us from the first few pages that the movie and book are not the same so I’m just gonna judge the book itself. I personally prefer the book’s ending so there goes 1 star from me. The middle pages are pretty boring and I had to drag myself to finish it. However, I like the sense of secrecy throughout the book where Mouse was talking about Paulie’s crime at court. It made the readers eager to know more about what she did. Overall, 2 stars from me 🤟🏻
February 25, 2019
I didn't know what I was getting into when I read this book. After the first chapter, I thought it was going to be a mystery. But there is no mystery here - it's more an explanation of the context surrounding the crime. After the first quarter, I wasn't sure I wanted to read it, but I kept going - it certainly raised interesting questions. What does it mean to be male? To be female? If those distinctions had been less clear cut for Paulie, would the violence have been unnecessary? Her ideal of masculinity (symbolized through King Kong) was tragic but also a little bit hilarious (King Kong). How do "misfits" find a place in the world? Does anyone really fit?
July 9, 2025
4.3 or 3.8 stars / 5 stars
i really enjoyed this. it reminded me of when i was a young teenager trying to figure out my sexuality. i saw myself in an awkward outcast character who is obsessed with jfk (girl, me too) and i loved the 60s time period this is set in. my favorite character was paulie, and it was very fun reading her escapades with mouse. i just really wish paulie & tory had a happier ending. i feel really bad for the dwarf too, it is kind of weird that the only other disabled character gets killed off and used for his penis. I hated that and the vibe it left me with. overall, i enjoyed reading this and felt it gave an uncensored and authentic view of girlhood.
i really enjoyed this. it reminded me of when i was a young teenager trying to figure out my sexuality. i saw myself in an awkward outcast character who is obsessed with jfk (girl, me too) and i loved the 60s time period this is set in. my favorite character was paulie, and it was very fun reading her escapades with mouse. i just really wish paulie & tory had a happier ending. i feel really bad for the dwarf too, it is kind of weird that the only other disabled character gets killed off and used for his penis. I hated that and the vibe it left me with. overall, i enjoyed reading this and felt it gave an uncensored and authentic view of girlhood.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2021
Originally I watched the film first, before I found out about the book, and I was amazed. I thought the film was a masterpiece and I figured the book would be even better. I was wrong. Although I did enjoy the novel, I found myself getting stuck in a reading slump just waiting to finish the chapter. I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to feel about the book, but I’m certain it was odd. I am assumed to say enjoyed it and disliked it at the same time.
September 2, 2023
2.5 ⭐️ The 1/2 star was added because I love the movie so much. Lost and Delirious was one of my favorite movies as a teen and I still love it. The book, not so much. I knew going in that the story was very different from the movie, but this book was honestly boring. For being a short read, there was a lot of unnecessary content. I kept thinking while reading "what does this have to do with the story?"
May 14, 2023
Questa è la storia di Mary Bradford; a tredici anni viene spedita al collegio femminile di bath, lei non ha nessuna voglia di inserirsi con le ragazze “normali”. Il libro non mi è dispiaciuto, mi sono piaciute alcune parti, mentre altre non mi hanno fatto impazzire, è un libro un po’ strano e difficile da capire
April 12, 2025
I cannot believe this book is out of print and I am so grateful that a second hand store made me meet this book. It’s wonderful. It’s dated yes, but stately so. The old age fits the grimness of the story too. For me this is on par with the darkness in Janet Fitch’s books and Secret History by Donna Tart.
October 1, 2017
I knew nothing about this book going into it, other than it was on the list of "100 Books that make you Proud to be Canadian". It is a tale of a girl's boarding school, and examines issues of sexual identity, and coming of age.
April 13, 2022
3,5 ⭐ libro scorrevole e godibile. Il paragone con il film è inevitabile. Essendo io molto legato al film, trovo che il libro sia inferiore per caratterizzazione dei personaggi, potenza del linguaggio e trama. Peccato.
January 26, 2023
Really delighted by tone and found that it veered into discussions of gender more openly and readily than I was expecting, but I think it loses some sympathy for those issues towards the end (while being a pretty sympathetic and powerful story up until then).
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