This book skillfully chips away at the facade of femininity—the belief that a woman’s body is more important than her character. Patiently pointing to Scripture, the author convincingly argues true beauty starts inside and radiates outward.
This book resonated with me - we all struggle with inadequacies we wish to conceal. As she succinctly phrased in her book: "Words of inadequacy, failure, ugliness. They are the lies that we know better than truth." A book that can transform the way you interpret 'beauty', since it should be a source from within. Beautifully put together and empatheticly conveyed.
this is a really good book. It taught me that God sees the beauty in me and how to see it. If your strugging with appearance (like me) read this book. It is a short book ... about 140 pages but really good. If you want to borrow it...I have it. I can mail it to you if you live far away. Its worth reading it. I promise
Excellent, excellent book!! I'm glad i took my time going through it, soaking it in. A touching book that has truly helped me in my struggle with beauty. i highly recommend it :)
This is for any Christian woman who has self-image problems, particularly if they are physical self-image problems (which are common in today's instant-access-to-air-brushed-perfection-image-driven world). The author encourages women to root their self-worth in God. The book is temporarily uplifting, but whether the effect lasts is another issue. Like many Christian books of this nature, it's a little short on the "how to" component. Yes, we should root our self-worth in God and stop caring so much about what others (including those we love?) think of us. How?
Some quotes that struck me:
"Like most people, I feared the criticism of others, but I was my own worst critic. I was afraid the opinions of others would confirm what I believed about myself."
"I hadn't realized that I had made my grades and accomplishments the sum of who I was...When the activities left me still longing, I convinced myself that when I found my soul mate--the one with whom God would have me spend my future--I would find the longed-for peace and self-love. Having someone love and pursue me would prove to me that I had value...My struggle with the voices within has taught me that I must find my value in the One who gives me value. Surrounding myself with achievements and accomplishments cannot convince me of my value, seeking love from others cannot convince me of my value, and changing the way I look cannot convince me of my value."
"When I base my value on the standards of the world, my love for myself is conditional. I promise to love myself IF I lose weight, IF I like the way I look, IF I earn the approval of others, IF I succeed in my endeavors. But God's love for me is unconditional. He will never love me any more or any less than He does at this moment in time."
Often our love for others is based on the need for affirmation and value. As such, our love for others is selfish. We intend to love others selflessly, but our own insecurities cause us to use people as a measure of our own significance. Since we eventually will find our identity in whatever gives us significance, we inappropriately remove our identity from Christ and find it in others. However, when I find my worth and identity in Christ, I am able to love others unselfishly because I am not concerned about what value they bring to me or what worth they affirm in me. I love them for the value God has instilled in them.
SUMMARY: Franklin skillfully chips away at the belief that a woman's body is more important than her character. Patiently pointing to Scripture, she convincingly shows that true beauty starts inside and radiates outward. It is this proper biblical understanding of God's design for women that empowers them to move beyond the cultural standards and the world's "ideal woman." (from back cover)
Has scripture as guidance but also includes lots of other examples from modern culture and literature.
The cover is absolutely gorgeous and shows example of something that many would see as very plain and making it a scene of beauty.
Christian women seem to have this understanding that there is something more to beauty than what we are told, after all we were made in the image of God. But every woman struggles to define beauty because modern culture and expectations give us a definition of beauty that is unattainable and creates self loathing and insecurities (just as the devil designed).
...Satan wants to misuse God's gift of our bodies for his purposes rather than God's. (p15)
But the influences of our self worth are everywhere including the action and the words of family and friends that affect how we see our bodies and understand ourselves. Even after the author realized the trap she and other girls were in, she could find no help in the people around her to recognize the problem or help her to change circumstances through a loving supportive environment. Not even the church would help.
"...But a place of peace based on society's standards doesn't exist On the contrary, the yearning to mirror society's image leaves us hungering for more. Because our self-esteem is rooted in our spirit, our longings to know who we are in Christ cannot be answered by countless diet and exercise programs in an attempt to remake our physical beings. Such a pursuit leaves our spiritual longing unanswered. Such a pursuit never silences the voice. Instead, the voices from without eventually are joined by the voices from within." (p26)
I think the core chapter in this book is chapter three: VOICES WITHIN The main concept being -- "She can accept Christ as her righteousness in regard to her sin, but she has difficulty conceptualizing Christ as her beauty." (p33)
"She lives with a divided heart, for she believes in Christ's ultimate love for her and yet feels burdened by her inability to love herself. Adding to her frustration, she rears that she is the only woman who struggles in this way, so she attempts to silence the voices. Her struggle becomes an issue of spiritual pride -- an inability to allow Christ to be enough beauty for her and an unwillingness to allow others to see her insecurities." (p34)
"We man never silence the voices, but we can choose whether or not the voices define who we are." (p45)
The information provided in this book is a great place to start discussions and surround yourself with a support group of like minded women who can change their perception of what beauty is and redefine beauty through the truth of God's Word. This is not just a one time read. The culture standards of beauty are so ingrained in our every day lives, it will take multiple reads and constant vigilance to adjust ourselves to God's definition and stay on track without being pulled back into the old mindset
Another great section to read is from pages 67-71 which talks about THE POWER OF WORDS and THE TEMPLE OF GOD). -- "If we do not value the temple, we cease to be the temple." (p69)
Also great section about IDENTITY IN CHRIST and DAILY RENEWAL found on pages 79-82.
I really liked the information in Chapter Seven: BODY BY CHARIS that goes into more detail of how a husband sees his wife and how different it is from how a wife sees herself -- "Meanwhile, our husbands are simply enjoying us -- just as we are, not as we want ourselves to be." (p102)
The emphasis in chapter eight is that of what the world is teaching the young people of today and the importance of older women (especially in the church) to become mentors to these young ladies and show them a different point of view and help them build a different version of themselves with strong character and self esteem. -- "Sadly, the Christian community's response has been woefully inadequate...While I wholeheartedly agree that we have a standard of modesty to uphold, we've lost our ability to communicate this message to young girls...However, if we have no other standard of beauty to offer and no instruction by which they can learn their value in Christ, we cannot expect them to see the destructive force of the world's standards." (p117)
"Love the young women around you and speak truth into their lives." (p122)
Chapter Nine has a presents a wonderful realization that real beauty can be achieved -- the secret is that is comes from the inside. I took some of this last chapter and made a small poster to hang on the wall reminding me how God sees beauty.
"How can I like what I see when I gaze with worldly eyes upon an image that was not created by the world?"
Regina Franklin is a brilliant woman of God. Beauty is one of my greatest weaknesses, and as I read this book, I found myself matching more and more the descriptions of women in bondage. It's ironic, because if you were to ask any of my friends, I'd highly doubt they'd consider me insecure in my physical beauty - in fact, they consider me confident in my self-worth and practicing a definition of God's beauty.
But really, I'm like the woman Franklin described - I am an excellent actress. I bury those thoughts deep, and have learned to play pretend. I don't struggle with self-esteem issues, and while this book is definitely uplifting for those who do, I found a different message for me. I may not struggle with confidence, with self-esteem, with self-worth most of the time, but it is because I have never confronted my weakness. I escape the moments when I feel most insecure, instead of establishing myself.
Almost every day, there is a moment when I feel frumpy next to someone who meets the world's standards of beauty more than I. I become insecure when boys walk by and eyeball my friend, instead of me. We can't help it - it feels great to know that you are attractive. But that isn't the point.
This book was beautiful. I expected it to be patronizing and preachy - regurgitating the classic, "You are beautiful, just the way you are." And to be honest, I've always been a little frustrated at that statement. Because yes, I know it is true - but the world is a bitter place when you aren't "beautiful", isn't it? It is, if you don't have God's mirror to look into. Studies have shown that beautiful women are more likely to get a lower price at shops, get better service, are more likely to get away with something they've done wrong - the benefits of beauty are endless.
I've been blessed with beauty, and I also know so many people who have been blessed with beauty. Isn't it ironic that it is the beautiful who struggle with beauty issues? As Franklin pointed out, we'll never match up. So my focus, subconsciously, has always been wrong. I've always been a confident sort of person, but it made me think: have I been confident because of my belief in physical beauty, or because God has given me confidence in HIS beauty?
This was a book I really needed to read. A true Christian guy will love you for your reflection of God's beauty - and not your own. Because what is beauty? Give it thirty years and it looks like an old hag. Beauty is more than a symmetrical face, plump lips, glowing skin, and sparkling eyes. Those results are instantaneous - a guy flocks to your side, you are given better service, you are complimented. But beauty does not equate attractiveness, like the world likes to define it. Beauty is not how your face is formed, how your body curves, or how attractive you are. Beauty is what makes people look at you over and over again. Beauty is what makes people WANT to look at you over and over again.
And who wants to look at the most beautiful woman on earth? Probably everyone. And how long do they want to look at her for? Probably a little while. Do they want to look at her forever? Of course not, because another beautiful woman will take her place and be the next most beautiful woman on earth. She'll get wrinkles, and tummy rolls, her thighs will get flabby, and her skin will sag. Her hair will grey, and her sexy walk will turn into a limp. Will they want to look at her then? Nope.
So what makes people want to look at you over and over again, never getting tired of looking at you, because you are so beautiful? A kind heart, a helpful spirit, a comforting and uplifting voice. That is real beauty. Physical beauty is so easily marred - a scar from an accident, a fall down the stairs - it is so... temporary. Your physical beauty can be gone in a few tragic seconds. But beauty is supposed to last, isn't it? And Franklin describes the beauty that really does.
Recommended to every woman on earth. Read amazing quotes below.
"Many times I have stepped in front of the mirror and hoped to discover my true self, as if the glass had the power to reveal who I am. There is only one place where I can find my true reflection. The eyes of my Creator, reflect the answers to my deepest longings for self-worth."
"To understand true beauty, I must understand to Whom I belong. The world did not create me and does not know me. God did and does. My existence came of the will of God, the all-knowing, all-powerful Creator who see the works of His hands and calls them 'good'."
"Idols and temples are no longer made of brick, stone, or gold. Everyday actions, so routine they become a part of who we are. We cannot recognize the idolatry in our own behavior, much less that we are the sacrifice."
"Different women, different rituals. The same bondage. Unhappy. Powerless. Enslaved. Our idols are varied, but they leave us with similar feelings. The truth of our idolatry is poignant: we care more about what others think of us than what God thinks of us."
"Although we do not bow down or pray to gods of gold and stone, we bow to the image of this world when we continually measure ourselves by the world's standards of success and beauty. Not only are we unable to recognize our beauty in Christ, we often distort what He has made in our desperate attempt to recast ourselves in the world's image."
"Convincing ourselves that the world knows more about assessing beauty than does the Creator of beauty, we trade the eternal for the temporal, purity for sensuality, integrity for acceptance."
"While we are not being held by iron chains, and our homes are not being razed by marauding armies, our idolatry brings us into bondage nonetheless. We become bound to the standards of the world rather than to the standards of the cross."
"To appear spiritual, we loudly proclaim from our prisons that eternal things matter more than anything temporal. But what do our lives say? Do we focus more on what we feed our bodies or on what we feed our souls? Do we spend more time sculpting our bodies than shaping our devotional life? Do we more readily seek comfort from food or from the Holy Spirit? Do we spend more time perfecting our physical appearance or preparing our heart? Do we spend more money investing in self-improvement or in the work of God's kingdom? Are we more drawn to those reflect the world's image of beauty and success, or to those who radiate the image of God?"
"We cannot seek the glory of the world and the glory of God."
"No man for any considerable period, can wear one fact to himself, another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true."
"Many are shamed to be seen as God made them; few are ashamed to be seen what the devil hath made them. Many are troubled at small defects in the outward man; few are troubled at the greatest deformities of the inward man."
"A carving of stone or gold is not an idol in and of itself. The heart of the worshiper is what makes an object an idol. If I need fashionable clothing, jewelry, and cosmetics to feel valuable, I have transformed those objects into idols because I expect from them what I can receive only from the One I claim to worship."
"Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, & I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in My eyes, for you were created in My image. Before the beginning of time, I chose you. I spoke your name into the heavens, & I smiled as its melody resounded off the walls of My heart. You are Mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky & deeper than any ocean. You are My pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of My hand. I love you even in the face of your failure. Nothing you say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am relentless in My pursuit of you. Run from Me~ I will love you. Spurn Me~ I will love you. Reject yourself~ I will love you. You see, My love for you was slain before the foundations of the world & I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at Calvary. When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing & desire & you came into existence. You are beautiful, & I take pleasure in you~ heart, mind, & body. You are My desire. When you turn your head in shame & despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are My beloved & I am yours" (1John 3:2, Isaiah 43:1, Matthew 13:46, Ephesians 1:4, Revelation 13:8, Psalm 194:4, Song of Solomon7:10, & 6:3)
"But my limitations do not limit an infinite God. I am already 'fully known' by the One who knows & sees all. This truth reconciles the tension between my deepest longings to be known & my understanding that my own knowledge will be limited this side of heaven. Reaching out in faith, I must rest in the knowledge that God intimately knows me, & that His knowing creates a divine destiny for my life."
"Theologian Abraham Wright wrote, 'Many are shamed to be seen as God made them; few are ashamed to be seen what the devil hath made them. Many are troubled at small defects in the outward man; few are troubled at the greatest deformities of the inward man; many buy artificial beauty to supply the natural; few spiritual, to supply the defects of the supernatural beauty of the soul.'"
“Seeking after things of Christ, she’s lives a life of integrity. She is a fighter, survivor, a woman of strength. She is beauty. She is you.”
This book healed my present self, the young girl, and to the future woman. To continue seeking Christ and He is the reason why I’m beautiful and you are beautiful will always stick with me. This book transforms the way I see beauty and myself. This book tackles society beauty standards, failure, depression, the woman ever changing body, and so much more and it redefines what those mean by the beauty of Christ. Reading this allowed me to see the beauty in me as how God sees me, a daughter of His. Any woman who has struggled with the world definition of beauty should read this. I couldn’t put it down and it’s forever life changing.
This is a great book and one that I feel every woman should read. The world, media, even family and friends try to tell us what is beautiful and unfortunately what the world says is beauty is something no one can attain. Learning to see the beauty that comes from the one who created us gives a new perspective and one that I feel is important to be reminded of daily.
This is an older book but it is relevant for all time. It is relevant for women of all ages and stages in life. The content is good but the end of each chapter gives you reflection questions and scripture that will help you dig deeper.
I could relate to a few points in this book, even though I knew what “true beauty” was. I feel that women as a whole struggle with what beauty is. We buy into the Hollywood/secular world views and put unrealistic pressure on ourselves. I too can pick myself apart. Many models have suffered from anorexia and now we see a push of excepting obesity. When did it become okay to not take care of ourselves and just be us?
I took a long time to read this book. It is simply written, but not everything sank in. It’s not the most inspirational book I’ve ever read, but I understand the struggle to find my self worth in Jesus.
Another read I found on our shelves. Helps show us it’s the heart that matters rather than the physical. Some thought provoking things in Chapters 5,6,8 and 9 especially. The author doesn’t hold standards of holiness, so some things I glossed over, but overall a good read!
A challenge to go past what our culture has embraced as beauty and its worship of youthful looks. To instead look on the inside and strive for Godly wisdom and inner beauty.
A frank, honest look at a topic too rarely covered in church circles. Franklin opens up to her own struggles with the meaning of beauty and acceptance, acknowledging that the doubts don’t stop even after marriage. She draws from various aspects of popular culture and literature in order to emphasize the world’s distorted view of beauty when contrasted with God’s. I learned a lot. I know how critical I can be of myself, but never thought of the effect it might have on others. We all need to be more positive and affirming in how we talk about both ourselves and those around us.
Favorite quotes: “The irony of mirrors is their drawing power. I am enticed by the possibility that the next mirror I look into will show me what I want to see. Maybe then I will be content. But therein also lies the problem. I expect to find contentment when I like what I see. How can I like what I see when I gaze with worldly eyes upon an image that was not created by the world?”
“If we do not value the temple, we cease to be the temple.”
“[Women] were not an afterthought. Everything about us was designed by God to reflect His glory.”
such a wonderful little book to instill in a woman a sense of self worth based on who created her...not based on what society thinks of females...we are beautiful because our Creator says so...and that's the truth!a must have in any library...a good devotional and conference book!
This should be required reading for every teenage and adult female. It is so insightful and she has such a grasp on the Bible and how applicable it is to our bodies and how we view them. Actually, maybe it should be required reading for all males too! Want my husband and my daughters to read it.
I am not one usually to preach about holy/ god books, but this book was inspiring, it really made you think about who you are, no matter what your religious back ground is.