How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex: An Unexpected History

by Samantha Cole

From the moment there was an “online,” there was sex online. The famous test image used by software engineers to develop formats like the jpeg was “Lena,” taken from Playboy’s November 1972 centerfold. Early bulletin boards and multi-user domains quickly came to serve their members sexual musings. Facebook started as a way to rate “hot or not” Harvard co-eds. In fact, virtually every significant development that defines the Internet we know and love (and hate) today—privacy issues, online payments and online banking, dating, social media, streaming technology, mass data collection—came out the meeting of sexuality and technology.
           
Not only did sexuality vastly influence the internet, but the internet arguably changed modern sexuality by giving every imaginable non-heteronormative community a safe place to explore, fantasize, thrive, and be accepted. Which of course only led to more exploring, more fantasizing, more thriving.
           
A lively, highly visual history, filled with broad themes and backstories, pioneering personalities and eureka-moments, How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex covers everything from Jennicam (remember her?) to deep fakes. And most of what came in between, including “A Brief History of Online Dating” and the promise that VR spaces like the metaverse hold for the future of human sexual interactions.

Porn is just one part of the story. Rather, this is a story about human nature during the digital gold rush of the last fifty years.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Technology, Audiobook, History, Queer, Book Club

288 pages, Hardcover

Published November 15, 2022

About the author

Born 1971.

Source: BNB (http://search.bl.uk/primo_library/lib...)

Reviews

[Max]

Novel to me in a grotesque way. exceptionally mediocre 250 page vice article written for people who hate reading. Amazingly bold to write a history of sexual behavior on the internet from an ostensibly feminist-identified perspective without ever substantially acknowledging sexual abuse of children or child sex abuse images 🤧 This book strikes me as singularly shit but in that way where when you think for one second about life and your world it becomes obvious that there must be dozens if not hundreds of works with all the exact same qualities that felt so uniquely shit

[Philip · Rating 2 out of 5]

Of course I had to read this book, what a fascinating subject matter.
Unfortunately, it was quite disappointing.

It's an ok read, but deals with pretty much everything in too shallow of a manner, with far too much opinion, and with very uneven standards for evidence and when it is necessary. Simply stating something authoritatively doesn't make it so. Along the same lines, topics were often covered from only one perspective, the author's, without at least exploring other arguments. Even for someone who, like me, agrees with a lot of Cole's opinions (although not all), it was a bit much.

It was very clear that the writer is a journalist -and it will likely not surprise anyone who's read this book that she writes a lot for VICE - the book reads very much like an article. Not a problem in itself, but it didn't work for me here. The moment something started to get somewhere, on to the next topic the book went.

That being said, the co-evolution of sex and the internet is a fascinating story and the author, when she stayed away from too much opinion, did a reasonable job illustrating this. It didn't live up to the blurb, but it was enough to salvage the read for me.

[Briony Clayforth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to net gallery and Workman Publishing company for this advanced copy.

I was intrigued by the title and description of this book. This book explored how the internet and sex have intertwined. Throughout the book was compelling or humourous quotes which was a nice touch. As well as the quotes, I loved the graphics and design of this book.

I really enjoyed how the book address sex education and addiction. It brought light to historical figures such as sister Mary Elizabeth Clark.Other notable topics included incels and deepfakes. I loved chapter five on the history of online dating where it looked at how algorithms have influenced the world of dating. Samantha Cole has been effective in delivering complicated information whilst bringing her own stories of the internet into the book. However, I would say I did get slightly lost in the technical aspects of the book. Despite this, the acronyms description boxes throughout were very useful in understanding certain parts.

[Vicky · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very informative and covers many topics related to technology, misogyny, sex and how the fact that most of the developers were men impacted the evolution of the internet. I liked the book's design because it includes pictures and definitions of many tricky concepts or unknown abbreviations and feels very interactive overall. The writing style is very accessible, and it's fun to read, even for people who are not very knowledgeable about the internet's history and functioning. The topics span from configurations of images to incels to (in)security of sex workers and how different decisions taken by the companies impacted women.
My most significant criticism would be that there were so many exciting topics, but they were shallowly explored. I was surprised every time the chapter ended because there seemed to be so much more to say and discuss on the topic. Of course, given there are so many angles to the issue, it is impossible to include everything in one book, but I would rather have fewer topics but more in-depth chapters.
I would recommend this to people who are interested in feminism and the impact of technology on women's life.

[Noemi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Workman for this eARC. All thoughts are my own.

I'm a huge fan of everything that dives more in depth into our mysogynist society and how sexuality has been influenced by it. This book covers both, especially how sexuality influenced the internet in the past 50 years and vice versa— how the internet influenced modern-day sexuality.

This book had a lot of technical data and terminology, so at times I found it a little bit confusing and I had to reread the same part a couple of times, but overall I'd recommend it.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most interesting books I’ve read in a while. It basically explores the history of the internet through sex, showing how almost all advances were driven by sex, pornography, and sex workers. Cole did a really good job showing how the internet/technology has been both beneficial and harmful to the sex industry. It’s crazy that one law can be passed and cause thousands of sex workers to lose their source of income overnight. I thought the sections on addiction and sex in multi player games were especially interesting. If you’re at all interested in media, the sex industry, politics of the internet and technology, I definitely recommend this book!

[Katie Mac · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an eARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3.5. This is an accessible, visually appealing read. It feels like a (very) long magazine article in that it covers many topics briefly--I expected some more in-depth examination but appreciated the amount of facts--and is interspersed with glossary boxes and photos. Parts are technical and dry, but I enjoyed learning about the history of sex and its dissemination through technology (or an interpretation of technology)--my favorites are the description of sexual content in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and an examination of today's games and the Deepfake phenomenon.

[Meagan Cahuasqui · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating dive into history of how the Internet and technology have shaped sex and sexuality, and vice versa. Cole does an adept job of delineating the past, bringing that through line into the present for a full circle look at how we got to where we are today in terms of online dating and the treatment of sex work/workers. She also looks to the future of where we could be heading soon. What I appreciated most was the inclusion and acknowledgment of how these things have affected marginalized groups, including LGBTQ+ folks.

[kris ୨ৎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you Net Galley and Workman Publishing Company for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex is a very interesting book about - you guessed it: sex and the internet. It highlighted important topics such as sexuality, nudes, chat rooms, video games, etc. Samantha Cole articulated important topics with tact and objectivity, which is always a breath of fresh air.

Extremely informative book if one's interested about such a subject.

[Rick Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

To not account for the impact our motivation to replicate plays upon every part of our lives seems like a real oversight in modern culture.

This book is cool. Sticks to history and events rather than speculation and wild opining about the nature of sex or whatever. It's a good read as a result if youre interested in a history of the internet and looking to slightly contextualize our modern weirdness.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is difficult to describe, as it is not really a chronological history but rather a series of essays, many focusing on rights and protections for sex workers. If you have moral qualms with the latter then this book is not for you. There is some interesting content. I enjoyed the chapters that focused on how early internet users used message boards and sim-type games to connect for virtual sex. The speculation about the potential for VR was also interesting. For me this is the type of book best enjoyed by reading the parts that are of interest and skimming the rest.

[Michael Albalah · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like a textbook, pretty predictable, not as deeply researched as I would have expected, topics chosen weren’t controversial and anecdotes weren’t explored. Would like to read a different/better book about this topic but appreciate this book was written.

[Alyssa Martindale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative and accessible for techies unfamiliar with sex work and vice versa! Thoroughly recounts the innovations that shaped and continue to shape the internet and our use of it.

[Samantha Norrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting light read :)

[Seher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Workman Publishing Company for the chance to read and review this book!

I thought it was a fairly good book that has a lot of information. It really exemplifies how the internet was built up by a lot of dudes piggybacking of female labor.

I loved how the book was out together because I think that kept it from getting boring.

I have at least 2 friends I would recommend this book to!

[Meow558 · Rating 3 out of 5]

How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex, by Samantha Cole, is a very informative and fascinating book.
This book covers an amazing amount of content. Beginning with how the first computers and chat rooms were invented, it goes on the describe different milestones, such as the beginnings and refining of porn sites, sex on MMORPGs, and others. It also covers important subjects, such as movements about the hatred of women (like Incels) and the introduction of legislation by the American government that made sex workers' lives harder (such as FOSTA).
Being a book about the internet, it uses a lot of slang and jargon, such as "dox" and "ASCII," but there are many helpful boxes explaining these words. There are also lots of pictures. This makes it very understandable, for all ages, which is very nice.
I wish this book had been less America centered, and focused on some subjects more or less. For example, a significant portion of this book is devoted to the plights of online sex workers, and laws and stigma making their jobs difficult and often impossible. While it is definitely important, I would have preferred less time on that and more on, for example, the double standards of huge companies. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook by making a smash-or-pass website of his female peers, and yet now Facebook is doing its best to limit anything sex related.
All in all, I think this was very good. I would recommend it to anyone interested in sex culture online, and injustices against women.
Thank you to Workman Publishing Company for this ARC on NetGalley.

[Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

The best way to describe Samantha Cole's "How Sex Changed The Internet and the Internet Changed Sex: An Unexpected History," is that it is an introductory or survey course about sex and the internet. It covers a lot of ground quickly, without digging into the details or nuances of the subject matter.

It's an interesting and easily accessible read. And after reading reviews on this site, I think would have been better if I had read a physical copy rather than listened to the audiobook. I found the definitions of terms clunky and annoying in the audiobook, but I think I would have had a different take if I had seen them on a page instead.

One part of the book stands out - computer and Bluetooth-controlled sex toys. When discussing hackers taking control of people's sex toys, Cole stated that something to the effect that "the worst thing that would happen is someone's sex toy would turn on and off or adjust speeds." Immediately, I thought of a user whose sex toy was being controlled by someone they did not know. Someone they did not consent to "pressing the buttons" to pleasure them. It's a very modern form of sexual assault. I wish Cole hadn't glossed over that.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

More a general third wave feminist history in the style of Vice than an exploration of sex and the internet. Bounces around from Palo Alto, to BBS, to Manwin. Focus on intersectional feminism and LGBTQ topics. Sketchy explanation of algorithms.

Would be improved with more in depth interviews with the larger less niche players. It's obvious Cole had a great deal of access to some of the earlier players and none the the newer and larger entities.

Christian Rudder's Dataclysm is more informative and in depth, as is Darkest Web by Eileen Ormsby.

[Jacqueline · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very very very very long Medium article. I learned some (enough to give it 3ish stars) but would recommend a YouTube commentary video over this

[Lauren Acquaviva · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book infuriatingly shallow, fulfilling neither of the stated goals of the title but especially in terms of exploring how the internet has changed sex and relationships. Having lived through the same period of time as the author, I'm intimately familiar with the history. I wasn't in need of a simple recitation, and was hoping instead for at least some surface-level analysis. It's quite clear to me that many of the developments tracked in this book are in many ways toxic for the majority of us, but you won't find a discussion of that possibility here.

Rather than attempt to tackle the entire book, I'll take just one example chapter - - in this case on the subject of "cam girls" - - to show what I think is so woefully lacking.

None of us can deny that a shift occurred when cameras were suddenly available in homes that could record and broadcast content from bedrooms live onto the internet, or from cell phones to be posted later. What bugs me in hindsight about the now-everyone-does-porn phenomenon regarding webcams, as an adult who grew up during the era in which it came roaring to life, was the expectation of performativity that became almost instantly embedded into relationships and culture at large. Both the performative aspect and the documentation aspect felt like something "empowering" ('eff you, boomer strictures, my body my choice'). But examining that more closely with the benefit of hindsight, many young women simply felt they had to - - not in a coercive sense, directly, but because that seemed a requisite part of sexuality - - part of what it meant to be a sexual being, a desirable female in particular, as portrayed to an entire generation in the early '90s. It was what partners expected, demanded, requested, and straight-up did without asking sometimes. And moreover, it was what peers self-imposed on one another as a social group…because it's what they were seeing online. Cole addresses none of this whatsoever, treating it more like the natural outgrowth of a type of sexuality that was just waiting for expression. For some people, I'm sure it was...but for others, it wasn't.

Never mind what used to be the main issue of related public concern for 3rd wave feminists - - that of men publicizing images/videos taken & shared for personal use without women's consent, to the detriment of their families, relationships, careers, etc. - - we've flipped it so that the cam girl behavior is a career now via OnlyFans or similar. In some ways, this is inevitable as women take over what was unnatural and damaging to them, seize the means of production so to speak, and say 'Okay, pay me for it.' Having been reduced to T&A and taught that sexuality is their most valuable asset, off some people go to collect…and others oblige, but judge them for it. So here we are: confused, mistrustful, but supposedly sexually *liberated* - - - at least as per Cole's concept of what it means to be a woman in ownership of her body. But none of this merits discussion in her book.

I wish there were some reasonable moral extrapolation along the way because it seems apparent to me that much of this is self-evidently harmful, and not just in this chapter. Her railing against internet censorship fails to account for the exploited children whose images and videos are widely shared that are the targets of those censorship efforts (though I agree with her on many points in this chapter as well!); she tracks chat room lingo without discussing the ways that it crept into real-life conversations and sexual expectations or demands...in short, this book offers a superficial tour with no serious analysis. She is documenting trends somewhat adequately - - in a very niche, 90's girl-on-the-internet way - - but falls down hard on the supposed goal of explaining what the internet has done to sex & relationships, what it might mean for humanity in general, or what there might be to do about it (if anything).

This was a book tackling a subject that should be written about, but unfortunately this wasn't it for me.

[Jacob Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

Given its title, and the opening chapter being called “The Internet Was Built on Sex”, I was expecting this book to do a lot more to establish that sex-related use cases shaped the evolution of the Internet. It does makes some arguments to that effect—like porn’s role in the rise of banner ads and user tracking—but in general I think a more accurate title would have been something like Sex Has Always Been One of the Things People Use The Internet For.

Regardless, I enjoyed the book (and the magazine-style design helps make it fun to read). Some tidbits:


- I didn’t realize how popular bulletin board systems were: “Some historians estimate that more than 106,400 individual BBSes ran at the peak of its popularity, with the biggest welcoming tens of thousands of callers.”

- Cole points the finger at a 1995 Time article for fueling a panic about children being exposed to porn online. The article was based on a shoddy study (“his data-collection efforts were highly suspect, since he didn’t make them transparent in the paper or in interviews after”).

- There were computer-based dating services as early as the 60s—though the computer’s main role was perhaps just to lend an air of authority. (Of one service: “They’d sort the cards by a few important criteria like location, religion, age, and height, and the rest were basically matched at random, Tarr said in a documentary.”)

- “Bounded authenticity” is a fascinating term:

Sociologist Elizabeth Bernstein coined the phrase “bounded authenticity” to describe the erotic exchange that takes place between in-person sex workers and clients: The “authentic” experience a sex worker delivers is bound within the confines of time and an agreement. Clients don’t just want to get off; they could do that at home with one hand. They want to feel a connection to another person, and they want to imagine that the other person feels satisfied, too—even though this is the model’s literal job, and they’re performing a service.

- The Chamberlain-Kahn Act is an infuriating bit of WW1 history I’d never heard of before.

- According to Cole, the FBI’s obsession with shutting down Backpage led them to suppress information that would have vindicated the site:

In private emails, the feds praised Backpage for years of helping them find trafficking victims. After an expansive investigation into Backpage in 2013, they traded emails saying that following interviews with more than a dozen witnesses and review of more than 100,000 documents, none of the “smoking gun admissions” to trafficking they hoped to find ever manifested.

One thing I would have liked more discussion (and citations) on: Cole says “the overwhelming majority of [porn] sets, will ensure that everything is aboveboard from the beginning.” I’d be curious what data is available to provide confidence in this.

(crosspost)

[Paul Sutter]

Computers have come a long way since their infancy. With the advent of more user-friendly computers that came into being, the world changed dramatically. And then of course when we connected to the Internet, a brave new world had been given to us where the sky was virtually the limit. The Internet has brought us closer to friends and family, and given us unlimited methods of commuting and finding information. But it also somehow opened the proverbial Pandora’s box, unleashing what might be considered the good, and the bad, and even the ugly.
The infancy of the Internet brought with it a thirst for all things of a sexual nature. It was like a new toy with news groups showcasing the world of sex. Of course you could say it does not hold a candle to all that is available today, but there was little question the thirst for all things sexual kept many riveted to the Internet like never before.
The author discusses all such facets and looks as well at the world of Internet dating. The earliest companies used algorithms to match people, done on old-style computers. With the Internet, dating sites popped up like spring flowers, with companies like Plenty of Fish and eHarmony taking advantage of loneliness and the web filling that void. Before that Matchmaker which became Web Personals, was the main game in town, boasting two million members by 1998.
As with any seemingly new toy, the Internet grew and the sexual component of it flourished like never before. But there of course was need for some sort of regulation, and it was not long before companies put a limit of the types of sexual content that were available and created many barriers to accessing certain sites. Of course with freedom comes responsibility, and when people would not govern themselves, rules have been brought in from such sites as Facebook and Instagram who have restrictive rules to many, but rules nonetheless.
The Internet has brought us into the bedrooms of the nation as well in a manner of speaking, that Cole notes. There are webcams where the user pays to watch women usually in their home, showing off their bodies for whatever your fetish is, whether breasts, feet or other areas of the anatomy. Sex workers have used the Internet, giving them an audience and also often to warn others of certain people who may be threatening to them.
Cole covers all the bases in the book, creating a memorable read. It features topics we are both comfortable and uncomfortable with, which in essence offers the best of both worlds.

[Rama Rao · Rating 3 out of 5]

Virtual porn

In a virtual world, experiencing love, heartbreak, and healing are real. It creates a fantasy world where your thirst for online sex becomes unquenched, and drives you to desire for more. The technology has worked well for both the sides of the economy, the supply and demand chains controlled by the government legislation and the activists who fight for individual rights. Porn industry generates billions of dollars and offer employment for online sex workers and the investors of the platforms. Sex industry has strongly influenced the way the world wide web operates, and it has provided a relatively safe place to explore sexual fantasies from porn pictures to porn videos for all kinds of interests.

The author provides an historical look at the public and private shows between cam models and their customers, from exotic dancing and pornographic videos to masturbation shows and erotic chatrooms. There are many virtual brothels and strip clubs with limitless potential for many avatars and make the Old-Time bedroom sex obsolete and unnecessary. In video games, "emergent" content occurs when two or more things collide in a game to produce something that was not programmed or scripted. The online porn is not free from racism or age discrimination or the physical attributes.

In 2014, Chase Bank shut down the accounts of hundreds of porn performers. The adult industry suspected this was due to the Department of Justice's "Operation Choke Point," a 2013 initiative that demanded that "bankers behave like policemen and judges. Customers' access to financial services provided by PayPal, Venmo, and Google Pay were shut down, Denying payment services to service providers was a big blow. But the online creators produced creative ways like pre-paid tokens to access porn sites and their services. In one of the chapters, on deepfakes that allows making celebrity face-swapped videos as if the videos are real. The author discusses actual cases and some of these are either exaggerated or simply untrue.

[Soph]

"When you peer under the surface of all this consumerism and chaos, and back into the history of the internet, it becomes clear that the internet was built on sex, and sex has remained its through line no matter how hard some people try to deny it. A demand for sex built the shopping cart, the browser cookie, ad revenue models, payment processors, and the dynamic web page. The desire to explore and share our sexuality constructed the internet, piece by piece, as we know it today. And then technocratic billionaires betrayed the sexual for the sanitized and safe. We started labeling things "safe for work" and "not safe for work." a binary that's telling of who we allowed to call the shots. Sexuality is either unsafe or safe under a pretense of labor, depending on whether a boss is cool with it. Capitalists built walls around the "safe" parts of the internet to appease investors, advertisers, banks, and zealots — and pushed everyone who didn't comply to the margins. But there's a catch: There is no adult side of the internet. The Other internet isn't a wall with sexy stuff on one face and "family friendly" on the other. It's a web. And the ways we knit that web together, from the very beginning in late 1970's chat systems to today, is a choice. They include how we defend or concede our dwindling rights to sexual expression online, how control of that web looks, how we choose who gets to decide and participate, and how those decisions shape our lives away from the keyboard and at what cost."

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was interested in this book because I grew up on the internet and am interested in all of the meta aspects of it that I might have missed out on. On the other hand, this also means that I already knew a lot of the information presented in this book or it wasn't so much about the internet as technology in general. Based on the description presented by the publisher, I anticipated more analysis and scholarly discussion than the basic historical facts that were provided.

"How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex" is a historical perspective of how technology, from the 1960s through today, has affected sexual perspectives, views, and proclivities. Samantha Cole presents this information in textbook format, including sidebars and popouts midway through different chapters. A lot of the sidebars were information that someone who would seek out this book would likely already be familiar with. Much of the book is devoted to standard rehashes of the history of the internet, technology, and media in general. I'm not sure how much of this is necessary to understand each topic that Cole tackles.

I enjoyed learning about the conventions, marketing, and innovations from the late 1980s to the 2020s but the author could have made an attempt at finding people who were more willing to talk about their experiences. There are a few books coming out this year, including Kaitlyn Tiffany's "Everything I Need I Get from You: How Fangirls Created the Internet as We Know It," that provide a much deeper and intimate look at some of the things that this book was likely intending to explore.

Nevertheless, depending on how this book is marketed, it may be of interest to audiences who were not around for the growth of the internet or who are simply interested in the topic. I don't think this is a book for most audiences.

Thank you to NetGalley and Workman Publishing Company for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Alex Nagler · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is impossible to avoid sex on the internet. Especially if you're in your 30s and grew up online. Whereas we used to say "don't talk to strangers you meet on the internet!", now we're planning our weddings with our fiancees that we met on Tinder. Samantha Cole's "How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex" (early galley provided by Workman Publishing) details the history of the first proto-sites and BBs to involve frank sexual conversations in alt.____ up to and including everyone joining OnlyFans in April of 2020 (and ideally if there's time for an edit, OnlyFans banning and then subsequently unbanning porn).

My one complaint, and this is unfair of Ms. Cole as there simply isn't much actual peer reviewed research on the topic for a myriad of reasons that she does go into, is that the chapter on sex addiction lumps together everything from "Touched By An Angel" to NoFap, with the obligatory stop at Incels, but does not dive deeper into the psychology of internet-exacerbated porn addiction. There is some discussion of DSM-5 and treatments, primarily the dangers of religion/shame based approaches, but some more time on this subject before jolting over to the world of murderous incels would have been appreciated.

All in all, a good read and primer for those who knew some things but not all and great starting point for those confused to how we got here.

[Tyler G. Warne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Samantha Cole has helped change my perspective and beliefs about using the internet. Although I had been suspicious about the internet and its origins, now I consider it something similar to the Marlboro Man riding into the sunlight after a steamy romance and a gunfight with a water pistol. They both turn me off.

How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex brings to attention most of the dirt and filth that people could assume but then have plain, stated facts given in the most detailed orientation. Cole does well with research and her presentation is clean and crisp. Besides giving background histories of developers, provocateurs, and enterprises, she leads into the evolution of how people can deviate through legal oversights and loopholes. Constantly popping up and putting down, the internet is a full-fledged sex tool, scary for those who depend on it, and easy for those who fantasize about shopping. The web gives consumers and producers safe places, but the media's biases promote corruption and scandals.

Everybody can find love on the internet but the internet won't ever offer the same pleasure. Samantha performs well with the facts and the associated behaviors.

[beth.inprogress · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an informative and detailed history of sex, sexuality and it’s development within the realms of the Internet as well as through technological advancements. This tackled topics from the first chat rooms, to the porn industry online, sex robots, sex in video games and the first nude images over the internet. It also took a detailed look at how sex and the Internet has political and social/cultural implications. Issues around supposed sex additions and their diagnosis, revenge porn, consent and policing and monitoring pornography over the Internet were also discussed in this comprehensive read. This book gave me lots to mull over and educated me on the very beginning of the Internet age right through to modern day. I liked the nostalgia of hearing about the beginning of the Internet and the first chat rooms and webpages. For anyone interested in this topic or who wants to know about the history of the Internet and it’s implications on modern sexuality and sex, this book is a must read.

Thanks to Workman Publishing, the author Samantha Cole and Netgalley for a review copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Catherin Kovalcik · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 - I fear a lot simply went in one ear and out the other. Unfortunately, the biggest take away is "men" think they and their needs are the most important in the world without thinking about how it could affect others - specifically women and members of the LGBTQ+ community. I did really like learning about the beginning of dating-apps and how most of them were homophobic/ pushed their religious ideals onto the computing systems for relationship matches! (I'm looking at you eHarmony). It was also interesting to learn that the creator of Bumble was on the founding team of Tinder but was sexually harassed and no one believed her! Oh, and then how the creator of Deepfake didn't take any accountability for his learning program creating false sex tapes using other people's faces - specifically again women - and instead cowered like a little rat he is - YOU ARE PERSONALLY TO BLAME FOR ALL OF THE POOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE AI GENERATED NUDES GOING AROUND OF INNOCENT PEOPLE!!! Sex is always a big part of life and the way of the world but men, for the most part, ruin it and create worse situations for women and sex workers. Interesting read though.

[Lacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was hella interesting, especially as a woman who “lived” through the early evolution of the internet ( oh that makes me feel old). My biggest takeaway from the book is that humans always and will always want sexual contact and content. No matter where it comes from, smart phone or printing press plates porn sex sells- and people will pay for it.

I really loved the in-depth research as well as the feminist perspective. The parts that really hit home for me were the chapters that pointed out the difficulty of being a woman on the internet, be it in the porn industry, playing online games or just existing on social media.

I listened to this book and the audio narrator was excellent, she really helped set the mood for the chapters and because the book was written in such an accessible, conversational manner it was easy to keep the momentum going.


【 Ｑｕｏｔｅｓ】

⭐︎ “The core problem is the objectification of women.”

⭐︎ “Things that effect the most marginalized people online inevitably affect everyone.”