Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

A Sky of Infinite Blue: A Japanese Immigrant's Search for Home and Self

Rate this book
From an early age, Kyomi's life was filled with emotional difficulties--an adulterous father, an overreliant mother, and a dismissive extended family. In an effort to escape the darkness of her existence in Japan, Kyomi moved to the States in February 1990 to start a new life as a researcher working at NIH in Bethesda, MD. Soon, she fell in love with her husband-to-be: Patrick, a warm, charismatic British cancer researcher whose unconditional love and support helped her begin to heal the traumas of her past. Eventually, their journey together led them to change their careers and move to San Diego, CA, where they dedicated themselves to a Buddhism practice that changed both their lives--aiding them in their spiritual growth and in realizing their desire to help others.



Then Patrick was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic melanoma in the brain--and, after a fierce, three-year-long battle against his cancer, died on July 4, 2016. Devastated, Kyomi spent a year lost in grief. But when she one day began to write, she discovered that doing so allowed her to uncover truths about herself, her life history, and her relationship with Patrick. In the process, she surfaced many old, unhealed wounds--but ultimately writing became her daily spiritual practice, and many truths emerged out of the darkness. After many years of struggle and searching, Kyomi finally found the love and light that had existed within her all along.

312 pages, Paperback

Published September 6, 2022

4 people are currently reading
3093 people want to read

About the author

Kyomi O'Connor

1 book13 followers

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
32 (57%)
4 stars
14 (25%)
3 stars
6 (10%)
2 stars
4 (7%)
1 star
0 (0%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
Profile Image for Janilyn Kocher.
5,125 reviews115 followers
August 31, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue is a memoir of a woman who has faced more than her fair share of hardships, heartache and adversity.
O’Connor never felt love and accepted in her childhood in Japan. After a failed marriage, she moved to the US and found Patrick.
Much of her story involves her husband’s painful diagnosis and the terrible aftermath until his death.
The author shares a lot about Buddhism. I’m more interested in her life story and skimmed the spirituality part.
I hope she has found peace in her life.
Thanks to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the early copy.
Profile Image for Lupita.
555 reviews
September 8, 2022
Me gustó porque habla mucho sobre espiritualidad desde la perspectiva budista. La importancia que ha tenido en la vida de Kyomi y como se ha apoyado en ella para intentar sanar las heridas de su infancia y la reciente pérdida de su esposo debido al cáncer.
Profile Image for Laura Engel.
Author 2 books43 followers
March 14, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue is a love story with many twists and turns. Kyomi O'Connor captures the reader and brings you along with her through the difficulties of growing up in a traditional, yet emotionally abusive, Japanese family. Your heart will go out to this resilient young girl and cheer her along when she finds a chance to start anew in the United States and ultimately finds love and acceptance with a charming handsome young scientist, Patrick. Their unconditional and strong love bonds them spiritually and emotionally and we cheer for Kyomi again. After years of a good life, their path changes and challenges Kyomi and Patrick. Kyomi begins to doubt her love and purpose in life, all the while lovingly caring for a critically ill husband. This book will shed light on the tragedy of living a life of feeling 'less' yet ultimately rising above all hardship to ultimately love oneself as much as you love others.
172 reviews1 follower
August 11, 2022
I think I was expecting this book to be more about the Japanese author's adjustment to her life in America, which I would have found very interesting. There were many parts I really liked, including the descriptions of the author's childhood in Japan and her dysfunctional family, her meeting and early happiness with her husband, Patrick, a British cancer researcher, and her return to Japan to make peace with her dying father and rekindle her relationship with her family. What I liked much less, though, took up huge portions of the book. First, there are long sections about her and her husband's religious journey with a Buddhist sect that came across as a bit cult-like. Then, I found it quite jarring how, after describing Patrick as the perfect partner for the first half of the book, the author starts becoming so unhappy with him that she contemplates divorce. It seems to me that changes in his personality were probably caused by the fact that Patrick was was suffering from metastatic melanoma of the brain, and I was baffled that neither the doctors nor Patrick, as a cancer researcher, figured this out sooner. For the rest of the book, then, Patrick's disease, treatment, and decline are described in excruciating detail and at great length. I'm sure that living through this difficult and sad time was excruciating for the author and I can understand how it would be cathartic for her to work through it by writing about it. However, the more I thought about it in the days after finishing the book, the more it disturbed me that so many private details of Patrick's medical struggles were made public, almost to the point of robbing him of his dignity. Since the book was actually quite well written, I would still recommend it to library patrons who have a special interest in Buddhism or accounts of terminal cancer, but for the most part, this book turned out not to be for me. Thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for an e-ARC of this book.
Profile Image for SonataReader.
204 reviews
August 15, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

I am not new to memoirs. I recently had come across a wholehearted novel about one's own experiences. This novel brought out thoughts and the wisdom of seeking religion in helping one overcome anything. The pain and sorrow the author conveyed were all heartfelt.
Profile Image for Maileen Hamto.
282 reviews17 followers
Read
October 17, 2022
Finding love, building a life together, dealing with loss. Many memoirs that center on life partnerships address these themes. What’s different about "A Sky of Infinite Blue: A Japanese Immigrant’s Search for Home and Self" is author Kyomi O’Connor’s heartfelt take on a multitude of beginnings and endings on a most eventful journey.

Starting anew in one’s adopted country can be rife with challenges. Told from Kyomi’s point of view, the book tells of the life she left behind in Japan. Family woes and the failure of a previous marriage add layers of complexity as she navigates a new life in America: graduate school, dating, work, and friendships.

She meets Patrick, an Irish immigrant, who would eventually become the love of her life and her “bestest friend.” The fond memories of courtship and tender moments during their marriage are balanced with the trials experienced by a dual-career couple with many demands on their time and attention. Kyomi and Patrick find refuge in their spiritual path through Buddhism to stay grounded. The practice sustains them in their darkest hours. Then, the heart-wrenching agony of illness enshrouds the couple for years before Patrick eventually loses the battle.

Beyond a story of love and loss, A Sky of Infinite Blue is a memoir of purpose. As I read the memoir from my lens as an immigrant, both empathy and compassion blossomed for Kyomi’s story of seeking belonging and contentment. She offers an unflinching look at the process of defining oneself and purpose in a new country. Kyomi expresses profound concern for Patrick’s happiness while asserting her need to find meaningful work that sustains her soul. Specializing in pediatric dentistry, it is admirable that she chose to work where her talents are most needed: serving Black communities in Baltimore and working for the Indian Health Service in California.

The book excels in spotlighting the immigrant’s experience of American corporate culture, which can be invisible to those who take work cultures for granted. Kyomi writes frankly about work demands that took their toll on Patrick’s physical and mental well-being, as he struggled in very competitive, soul-draining, and friendless workplaces.

In relaying the trials of Patrick’s illness, Kyomi appeared to have put her own life on hold. Dealing with sickness for years consumed Kyomi, and in the final chapters, we see glimpses of her willful spirit only in serving as Patrick’s caregiver. It is a testament to the ruinous effects of debilitating disease. Harnessing her meditative practice, Kyomi leans on being present and letting go, even as everything is falling apart.

"A Sky of Infinite Blue" is a touching, haunting reminder that acceptance can still be a struggle to achieve even amid a solid spiritual foundation.
1 review
January 29, 2023
Kyomi’s wonderfully moving and haunting memoir begins with a young girl growing up in a Japanese family overseen by a tyrannical father where she is treated as an outcast for no apparent reason other than her birth order in this highly dysfunctional family. A series of improbable events takes her to the National Institutes of Health in Washington D.C. for postgraduate work in dentistry. Here she meets Patrick O’Connor, a cancer researcher also working at the NIH. The initial friendship evolves into love and three years later, marriage. Several years go by and the couple moves to San Diego where Kyomi puts her pediatric dentistry to work at nearby native American reservations and Patrick assumes a high pressure position as head of cancer drug discovery and development at a rapidly maturing San Diego pharmaceutical company.

Patrick’s obsessive drive for excellence, perfectionist work ethic, and long work hours are recognized and rewarded in the highly competitive corporate culture. He appears to flourish, but from a quality of life perspective, the reality is much different. Kyomi guides Patrick toward a spiritual journey with Buddhism that is to inform many of their subsequent actions. Patrick resigns from his corporate leadership position to begin work with a series of small local biotech companies. But his long job driven work days and inability to cultivate close friends continues as before, leaving Kyomi to try and restore further balance to a life that by this time was ignoring worrying health-related signs that first arose a year earlier.

Overall this is a sad but wonderfully written story of self discovery and devotion that masterly sets the stage for the book’s most profound moments. The love story between Patrick and Kyomi ultimately becomes one of tragedy as Patrick is diagnosed with melanoma of the brain following his own failure to act on early symptoms compounded by medical misdiagnosis. The heart-wrenching protracted journey of progressing illness captures beautifully the interplay between a cancer researcher’s drive to explore every possible use of “state of the art” science and medical practice to stay alive alongside the self discovery, compassion, and kindness of Buddhist spiritualism that is the source of Kyomi’s inner transformation of trying to help others as the source of real happiness. This is a powerful deeply personal and moving read, a story both tragic and inspiring at the same time as it explores the fragile and temporal nature of life and what it all may mean in terms of how we aspire to live our lives.
234 reviews2 followers
August 21, 2022
Very interesting talk about this girl's wife name KYOMIS. Her early childhood was very hard because her older sister got everything and her younger sister out of her room she was caught in the middle. Her mother was very unkind to her and her father was very splendid office. She tried to be very helpful and do everything in the right way but people just do not understand her. She helped him around all the time. Her grandmother was very cool to her because When she came over she would always bring nice gifts for the oldest one and she would get a lesson gift. She tried to be brave about it and then she went on with her life.. Her father wanted her to be dentist She did not want this but she went along with the player. She was very independent to very care of herself but when she got older she met this man who was not very nice to her. This point in the story her father left to go with another woman. In Japan women were treated like 2nd class citizens. KYONIS try to raise bill this when she decided she was going to United States. She had felt free now because she didn't have other strengths and she left her exhaustion behind. She meets a man named Patrick and then. Somehow they fall in love because he helps her out and then shows her what you can do. And they got married she was more sensitive breadwinner so they decided to To San Diego for his career. He was working very hard for a pharmaceutical company and it was putting a lot of pressure on him. So she decided to cut back on the work to help him out like any Japanese woman would do. Then you're going to decide to join a Buddhist sect and they got really involved in that and that really kind of helped things out. And then Patrick got sick and you can see how generally she took care of him as you got sick around sicker Isn't interesting book because there's a lot of things and stuff like that you can relate to
1,285 reviews
September 6, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue is the well-written, interesting, and moving memoir of Kyomi O'Connor. The book describes her childhood in an emotionally abusive traditional Japanese family. After a failed marriage, she makes a brave and life-changing move to the US for a position at the National Institute of Dental Research. Soon after, she meets and fall in love with Patrick, a cancer researcher. They marry and move to California, where Patrick takes a high-pressure job.
There is a long section about the couple's religious involvement with a Buddhist sect which I found less interesting. Their happiness is threatened by Patrick's increasingly erratic, secretive and withdrawn behavior. He is subsequently diagnosed with metastatic melanoma in the brain. The last third of the book details the author's support of her very ill husband and his death. It was incomprehensible that the family doctor nor Patrick himself, recognized Patrick's symptoms as signs of a brain tumor. It disturbed me that Kyomi and her husband were failed by doctors early in the course of his illness.
I was sad for the author as she faced this terribly stressful time alone, until her sister comes to help. She seems to sacrifice so much of herself and her career for her husband, who seemed at times very controlling in his wish to isolate his wife. She does acknowledge that she should have reached out for help during this time of isolation.
I admired Kyomi's bravery, resilience, spiritual dedication and her ability to maintain hope. The honesty she shows in her writing is remarkable. Thank you for BookSparks and SparkPress for a copy to review.
@BookSparks #ASkyOfInfiniteBlue #KyomiOConnor #SparkPress #SummerPopUp
Profile Image for Lady.
1,102 reviews18 followers
September 24, 2022
This was a very interesting book that I really enjoyed. I just loved how much culture there was in this book. I have definitely learnt more about Japanese culture from this book which really made me happy. I found it very interesting learning about enlightenment and Buddhism. The author has obviously lived a very interesting and very hard life. I applaud her for writing this book which must of been very emotional to write. The author has lived a terrible and shocking childhood which really shows how resilient she is and still becoming such a wonderful person. I enjoyed every second of thos book as it was so well wrote. It flowed so well it definitely makes for a page turning book. I really do recommend reading this book if you love autobiography about overcoming adversities. I felt that this book taught me some useful life lessons and helped to empower me. If this author could get through her difficult life then so can I. Its a very inspiring book. I loved the simplicity of the front cover its just so beautiful. I was so engrossed in this book that I lost track of time and ended up reading it all in one sitting. It is one of those books that will stay with you for some time.
So much praise goes out to the author and publishing team for bringing us such an inspiring story that can teach us some great life lessons. No matter how hard life can be if this author can get through her own difficulties then I'm sure I can manage mind. Thank you so much kyomi and please write more. I will definitely be looking out for more great books from this talented author.
1 review
November 24, 2022
I have read this book 3 times. To me, this book is beyond a memoir of someone. Each time I open the book, I become someone in the book. Each time I open the book, I experience inspiration, encouragement, happiness, sadness, and anger…different emotions as if they were suppressed in me for a long time. This is interesting that I personally haven’t had any similar experiences that the author went through, but the book made me feel so amazingly relevant to me.
The book took me to vivid scenery that I have never seen, but I felt as if I knew it. The book helped me touch upon depths of human’s emotions and spirituality.
Greatness of this book is that it surely let an inexperienced reader like me be so engaged and repeatedly read it. The book opened and widen my world.
Today, I’m Patrick watching over Kyomi cooking turkey and more for him and others!
Happy Thanksgiving!!’
Thank you for the book!!!
4 reviews1 follower
January 10, 2023
This book is incredible. Within the first 35 pages, I was hooked, and one of the early portrayed scened just had me completely sucked in. Kyomi O'Connor is a very good memoirist: the narrative is paced well and includes vivid descriptive details and dialogue. We feel everything she is feeling as the narrator of her life. She impressively interweaves themes of family, guilt, nuances of Japanese culture, self-empowerment, independence, interracial relationships, choosing certain paths in life, financial strife, toxic treatment, forgiveness/letting go of resentment, faith, love, pain, healing, and so much more. I could not put this book down! I've learned so much and was so moved while reading this book, and I'm really glad I bought it from the local San Diego Writers Festival. I highly recommend getting a copy for yourself and/or for others!
1 review
Read
February 21, 2023
A powerful book and a painful yet truthful account of the author’s up-bringing, youth, and entrapment in the ties and difficulties with family, which made her armor less and less penetrable, as it does for so many, until she found spiritual guidance and enlightenment. It is amazing how much love the author had for her husband and how much support he received from her during their difficult professional transition to the West coast, a period in their lives which does not shine a positive light on many aspects of corporate America and the medical profession. It is impressive how much strength and endurance the author developed not only during the final years of her husband, but particularly when writing this book and re-living so many wonderful and painful moments. I admire what the author achieved under so many different and often exceedingly difficult circumstances.
Profile Image for Leslie Nack.
Author 3 books146 followers
July 10, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue is the poignant and moving memoir of Kyomi O’Connor, a brave and strong girl whose only crime is to be born second in a Japanese family. She endures years of harsh and cruel treatment from her family before coming to the United States to work where she meets the man of her dreams and creates the peaceful, loving life she has always dreamed of. But life has other plans for Kyomi and a father that once treated her badly, and a husband who works very hard both need her help desperately. You will be inspired, impressed, and amazed at Kyomi’s resilience and devotion to not only the men in her life, but to her family and herself.

1 review
November 29, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue is the book I couldn't stop reading as if I was watching a movie. Kyomi O’Connor had hardships from her early age and throughout her life including her life-time partner, Patrick’s illness and death. She wrote this beautiful memoir with her utmost vulnerability and honesty and overcame the adversities through her introspection and the Buddhist faith.
As a reader of her book, I was not only deeply touched but also felt guided through her experiences for me to see the positive in her sometimes sad stories. A Sky of Infinite Blue grabbed my heart in many ways. I highly recommend this book to anyone.
Profile Image for Nancy Johnson.
Author 1 book5 followers
November 15, 2022
Kyomi O'Connor's life was full, of both hardships and beautiful moments, like all humans. Sometimes I have expectations that life shouldn't be hard. Kyomi reminded me through her experience, strength, and hope that life is difficult, but that we can alter our attitude and expectations during the hardest moments. My biggest lessons from A Sky of Infinite Blue is that sometimes we choose to sacrifice and give ourselves completely to the care of someone we love. At the same time, Kyomi taught me how important it is to care for myself through spiritual practices that teach me how to love myself.
1 review
November 4, 2023
Kyomi takes us with her on an amazing and beautiful journey. Once I began reading, I did not want to stop. I was first struck by her incredible courage as she sets out on her own, half way around the world, leaving behind everything she knew. Having found the love of her life, she settles into lovely life only to have her world shaken to it's core when her husband is diagnosed with brain cancer. Her absolute devotion to her husband and her unwillingness to give up demonstrate the very meaning of unconditional love. She moved me to tears more than once. While the story, in and of itself, is captivating, moving, and inspiring, it is Kyomi's ability to tell the story in such a way to have the reader feel that they are there with her as it unfolds which makes this such a terrific read. Brava, Kyomi!
Profile Image for Cassidy Schumm.
2 reviews
September 8, 2022
A sky of infinite blue is a beautiful story of how life isn’t always as perfect as you hope. It describes the struggles of family, love, hope, and faith and brings the reader the darkest and most honest parts of the authors existence. Living isn’t always easy and this story is a reminder to live each day to the fullest and I absolutely loved the raw emotions that Kyomi put into her writing. I would definitely recommend this book!
Profile Image for Dominique Brightmon.
Author 2 books28 followers
October 29, 2023
Kyomi penned a heartfelt read that explores the complexities of family, personal growth, and the pursuit of happiness. Her story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of resilience in the face of adversity. As I was finishing the book, It even reminded me of what my mom went through with my dad during his Alzheimer's. If you want a raw inspirational book to add to your collection, add this one to your shelf.
Profile Image for Bonnie Szumski.
1 review
Read
July 10, 2022
A reminder to all of us how life is an ever-unfolding river from which the events of childhood, adulthood, and tragedy can continuously be interpreted, reinterpreted, and altered by new understanding. These can and should be looked at as areas of growth and fodder for our future selves, leading to a sky of infinite blue for all of us.

1 review
July 10, 2022
Kyomi O’Connor shares her struggle in finding meaning and purpose that many of us fail to realize. Her story is a modern-day telling of Siddhartha’s intellectual and spiritual journey to find peace in a selfless life. This may help us all find a little more light and blue sky within the darkness and pressures of modern society.
1 review
July 10, 2022
A Sky of Infinite Blue reads more like a novel than a memoir, never bogging down, a compelling tale of love and loss, rich in wonder, feeling, and surprise. O’Connor will invite you in, serve you tea, and disarm you with her simple warmth, goodwill, and honesty. Your tea, though, may grow cold, forgotten, by the time you turn the final page.
Profile Image for Kim.
Author 3 books26 followers
March 26, 2023
Kyomi O’Connor’s compelling memoir does a wonderful job of sharing the personal experiences that led her to the United States and to Buddhism. In sharing the intimate story of her loving marriage, she reminds us that life is a merging of joy and sorrow and that we as humans are all connected. This is a book that was difficult to put down.
1 review
August 24, 2023
A powerful and emotional journey of love and loss. “A Sky of Infinite Blue” is beautifully and thoughtfully written. Kyomi’s warrior spirit carries and guides her through the difficult times in life. Her love and devotion to her dying husband Patrick touches your soul. The tears will flow, and your own warrior spirt will soar into “A Sky of Infinite Blue”.
2,280 reviews50 followers
September 18, 2023
The author shares her life her difficult childhood on to her first marriage.She marries again they become Buddhists and she shares what this means to her.Then-her husband gets terminally I’ll and she is open about their marriage .Well written intimate I was drawn in from beginning to end.#netgalley #shewritespress
Profile Image for enjoyingbooksagain.
795 reviews74 followers
September 15, 2022
This is a well written memoir that follows Kyomi from her childhood where she dealt with family emotion abused to dealing with her husband diagnosis and then death. And how she handled the stress that came with all of that and moving on. Wow what a memoir
Profile Image for Julianna.
3 reviews
March 9, 2023
Kyomi O’Connors A Sky of Infinite Blue is a touching story of grief, love, spirituality and so much more. Her writing style is beautiful and creative. I loved how she used creative comparisons as well as repetition! I highly recommend this book!
Profile Image for CR.
4,200 reviews42 followers
April 18, 2022
Another wonderful story that was emotional and moving. I love books that make you feel inspired. This was a great read! ~UR
Profile Image for Sara.
1,559 reviews97 followers
July 12, 2022
My heart goes out to the author and the troubled life she has led. Though she seems to be telling a tale of how religion supported her through her many difficulties, I found it odd that she never really gave the reader the name of her religion or any concrete information. I'd think some readers might want to know. Otherwise, it sort of makes you wonder if this is a cult or something legitimate. I hope that writing this book brings her closure. It feels almost too intimate at times and I wonder if she has a particular audience in mind for readership.

Not my cup of tea, really, but no doubt some will find it worth reading. The writing flows just fine and I did finish it despite feeling squeamish at some parts.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.
2 reviews
September 28, 2022
I found Kyomi's memoir deep, heartwarming and inspirational. It weaves a story of love, difficulty, perseverance, acceptance and self discov
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.