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Infinitely More: Choosing Freedom, A Career Mom’s Turning Point
“What’s it going to be, Mom? Money or happiness?”
This is the blunt question Amy Conway-Hatcher’s fourteen-year-old daughter challenged her with as she was deciding whether to leave her Big Law equity partner job.
Amy knew the climb was harder and longer for women. Tough, determined, and focused on her career, she persevered. Yet she didn't anticipate how gender barriers in male dominated systems could wear women down -- even her.
Amy was among women making bold career changes in 2021. Infinitely More is her journey to understand why.
Amy’s story is an intriguing, thought-provoking, and heart-opening discovery of how a warrior career mom was lured into believing she could win over the system and beat the odds. Her strategy works for years, but she learns even the toughest of warriors face reckonings.
Using her gift for advocacy, Amy sets the record straight on why highly-talented women leave big jobs and how leaders lose them. Through her own compelling story, she shares stark reflections and lessons learned about the messy realities and trade-offs career women must make when playing uneven games. With eyes wide-open, Amy reclaims her purpose and offers strategies and hopes for the future.
Amy's story is an "invitation" for other women to share their own stories. After all, what is extraordinary about Amy's journey is that it reflects reality for so many women. As we've normalized herculean climbs for women, a feat that sadly isn't sustainable nor desirable in the long run, women continue to pivot. Amy believes that if we don't take time to hear what women experience, we can't really understand the very real workplace challenges women continue to face. We won't be able to fix it.
Amy is paying it forward. All proceeds of Infinitely More will be donated to non-profits that support women and girls, including the Girl Up (UN Foundation), Together Rising, Women's Bar Association Foundation of the District of Columbia, and YoungLeaders.World.
This is the blunt question Amy Conway-Hatcher’s fourteen-year-old daughter challenged her with as she was deciding whether to leave her Big Law equity partner job.
Amy knew the climb was harder and longer for women. Tough, determined, and focused on her career, she persevered. Yet she didn't anticipate how gender barriers in male dominated systems could wear women down -- even her.
Amy was among women making bold career changes in 2021. Infinitely More is her journey to understand why.
Amy’s story is an intriguing, thought-provoking, and heart-opening discovery of how a warrior career mom was lured into believing she could win over the system and beat the odds. Her strategy works for years, but she learns even the toughest of warriors face reckonings.
Using her gift for advocacy, Amy sets the record straight on why highly-talented women leave big jobs and how leaders lose them. Through her own compelling story, she shares stark reflections and lessons learned about the messy realities and trade-offs career women must make when playing uneven games. With eyes wide-open, Amy reclaims her purpose and offers strategies and hopes for the future.
Amy's story is an "invitation" for other women to share their own stories. After all, what is extraordinary about Amy's journey is that it reflects reality for so many women. As we've normalized herculean climbs for women, a feat that sadly isn't sustainable nor desirable in the long run, women continue to pivot. Amy believes that if we don't take time to hear what women experience, we can't really understand the very real workplace challenges women continue to face. We won't be able to fix it.
Amy is paying it forward. All proceeds of Infinitely More will be donated to non-profits that support women and girls, including the Girl Up (UN Foundation), Together Rising, Women's Bar Association Foundation of the District of Columbia, and YoungLeaders.World.
221 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 21, 2021
6 people are currently reading
37 people want to read
About the author
Amy Conway-Hatcher
2 books3 followersAmy Conway-Hatcher is a fierce advocate, warrior career mom, and former federal prosecutor. After decades of managing 24/7 crises, climbing to the upper echelons of Big Law, and sacrificing family for career, Amy did the unthinkable. She walked away from her high-paying equity partner job and an unsustainable climb...to reclaim her life.
Amy wrote Infinitely More to shine a spotlight on systemic workplace inequities that hold women back. Through witty and darkly humorous story-telling, Amy challenges leaders to take bolder actions to fix uneven playing fields, while advocating for women to stand firmly in control of their careers.
Today, a partner in a boutique law firm specializing in complex legal problems, Amy thrives as an advocate, author, speaker, and mom of two amazing, feisty, quick-witted teens. She's committed to her true purpose and mission - using her voice to empower others.
Amy wrote Infinitely More to shine a spotlight on systemic workplace inequities that hold women back. Through witty and darkly humorous story-telling, Amy challenges leaders to take bolder actions to fix uneven playing fields, while advocating for women to stand firmly in control of their careers.
Today, a partner in a boutique law firm specializing in complex legal problems, Amy thrives as an advocate, author, speaker, and mom of two amazing, feisty, quick-witted teens. She's committed to her true purpose and mission - using her voice to empower others.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 31, 2021
Contributing to the conversation on BigLaw and Women
The author has tremendous experience and makes very astute and clearly, directly stated points about obstacles faced by women in the workplace. I particularly found resonance in her points about money (golden handcuffs) keeping women in these situations, and how many feel they have to stay in the game to make up for lost time as they make lateral moves to leverage the gains they make. Her points about ‘nose to grindstone’ and being told to ‘be patient’ are particularly salient. I found myself nodding along at her points about both lawyers and clients knowing that the lip service paid to ‘diversity initiatives’ is lip service. She makes keen observations about the ruthlessness members of the same team exhibit when feeling threatened, regardless of gender, and how it disproportionately affects women. When she pointed out that she was always working at 100 miles an hour changing and navigating multiple lanes, and how she didn’t mind doing it at one point, but the realization that she’d have to keep moving that way for the next 20 years dawned on her and exhausted her—I felt that in my bones. There HAS to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I refuse to believe that all of the men who are in BigLaw don’t feel these pressures either—I think some attention needs to be paid to the fact that there is a very natural and significant attrition rate in big law in general, and many of the men who succeed develop terrible personal habits/their family lives devolve, mental health issues and substance abuse issues.
Women often ‘out-tough’ each other—and in some ways I think the author falls into this trope a little too much. She spent tremendous time telling us how hard of a worker she was, and I think she did so to appeal to what she perceives as her target audience. But her references to working while she was in labor remind me too much of other women I’ve met who bragged about that accomplishment, implicitly suggesting that if you were a woman who DIDNT work while in labor (or at least consider it)—you weren’t as dedicated, and therefore, especially didn’t deserve to get to the top of the organization. I don’t think this was her intended message, but I think she still leans too heavily into the notion that meritocracy SHOULD be the primary factor for advancement. Not everyone’s merit is measured the same.
It’s good to remember that change will have to come from more than diversity committees or policy changes. I am hopeful there will be more change—in the 15 years I’ve practiced, more and more of my client leads and client contacts are women. I’ve had work sent directly to me by women who are in the board room because other industries have made that deliberate and conscious effort, and like the men who came before them, they now want to work with people who look like them, and don’t want to be lectured by their attorneys, who aren’t as good at hiding the mansplaining as they might think they are.
The author has tremendous experience and makes very astute and clearly, directly stated points about obstacles faced by women in the workplace. I particularly found resonance in her points about money (golden handcuffs) keeping women in these situations, and how many feel they have to stay in the game to make up for lost time as they make lateral moves to leverage the gains they make. Her points about ‘nose to grindstone’ and being told to ‘be patient’ are particularly salient. I found myself nodding along at her points about both lawyers and clients knowing that the lip service paid to ‘diversity initiatives’ is lip service. She makes keen observations about the ruthlessness members of the same team exhibit when feeling threatened, regardless of gender, and how it disproportionately affects women. When she pointed out that she was always working at 100 miles an hour changing and navigating multiple lanes, and how she didn’t mind doing it at one point, but the realization that she’d have to keep moving that way for the next 20 years dawned on her and exhausted her—I felt that in my bones. There HAS to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I refuse to believe that all of the men who are in BigLaw don’t feel these pressures either—I think some attention needs to be paid to the fact that there is a very natural and significant attrition rate in big law in general, and many of the men who succeed develop terrible personal habits/their family lives devolve, mental health issues and substance abuse issues.
Women often ‘out-tough’ each other—and in some ways I think the author falls into this trope a little too much. She spent tremendous time telling us how hard of a worker she was, and I think she did so to appeal to what she perceives as her target audience. But her references to working while she was in labor remind me too much of other women I’ve met who bragged about that accomplishment, implicitly suggesting that if you were a woman who DIDNT work while in labor (or at least consider it)—you weren’t as dedicated, and therefore, especially didn’t deserve to get to the top of the organization. I don’t think this was her intended message, but I think she still leans too heavily into the notion that meritocracy SHOULD be the primary factor for advancement. Not everyone’s merit is measured the same.
It’s good to remember that change will have to come from more than diversity committees or policy changes. I am hopeful there will be more change—in the 15 years I’ve practiced, more and more of my client leads and client contacts are women. I’ve had work sent directly to me by women who are in the board room because other industries have made that deliberate and conscious effort, and like the men who came before them, they now want to work with people who look like them, and don’t want to be lectured by their attorneys, who aren’t as good at hiding the mansplaining as they might think they are.
December 23, 2021
A mandatory read for everyone in Big Law, especially management
As I read this book I found myself nodding constantly and sharing many quotes with close friends. I have never met Amy. We practiced in Big Law in different countries and left at different stages of our career. But we left for similar reasons. I couldn’t endorse this work more strongly.
As I read this book I found myself nodding constantly and sharing many quotes with close friends. I have never met Amy. We practiced in Big Law in different countries and left at different stages of our career. But we left for similar reasons. I couldn’t endorse this work more strongly.
February 23, 2022
A must-read for the conversation of gender in the workplace.
Infinitely More does a great job of showing what’s behind the curtain for working moms. The author not only looked at the visible and hidden inequities, but she examined the ways in which people can work to change the systems. I loved this book and I hope it helps move things in a better direction, not only for working moms, but for everyone.
Infinitely More does a great job of showing what’s behind the curtain for working moms. The author not only looked at the visible and hidden inequities, but she examined the ways in which people can work to change the systems. I loved this book and I hope it helps move things in a better direction, not only for working moms, but for everyone.
February 20, 2022
Infinitely More is an anthem for our times, a must-read for anyone interested in learning how social structures, business models, and traditional ways of doing things can, unwittingly or intentionally, perpetuate gender inequality in the workplace and stop progress in its tracks.
In 12 cogent chapters, Amy Conway-Hatcher slings the perfect shot to the head of BigLaw’s proverbial “woman problem.” I predict it will also be the “shot heard round the [gender] world” before too long. It’s that loud and it’s that good.
The story is told in the context of one woman’s daring climb to the upper echelons of BigLaw, but it serves up a universal and industry-agnostic message chock-full of takeaways for all readers - not just the women.
What struck me is that “we were made for infinitely more” is not just the author’s thesis, it’s a manifesto, an urgent call-to-arms for a long-overdue reckoning on gender inequality in the workplace. And it doesn’t stop there. It tackles wage disparity and the unfair and inequitable distribution of earned power in the business world as well. It is indeed, a tour-de-force.
The narrative is deftly-written, a true page-turner full of gasp-worthy “you can’t make this stuff up” stories. But it’s the clever, skillful, and unobtrusive way Conway-Hatcher peels the BigLaw curtain back just enough to reveal a deeply-ingrained and, quite frankly, insidious, system of gender inequities in BigLaw that makes this book spectacular. She generously guides the reader through the inner workings of the “BigLaw machine” and reveals that the true danger of this systemic issue derives not from its history, but from the subtle and covert way it is sustained. BigLaw leadership perpetuates the gender issue and ensures its vitality by adhering to outmoded business models, inequitable compensation structures, and failing to recognize all elements along the value chain. Unless and until there is recognition, there can be no reconciliation. And, until there is reconciliation, there can be no progress.
But there is hope!
Conway-Hatcher suggests that making the decision to change isn’t really that hard, it’s implementing the decision in a meaningful way that’s hard. And, in the case of BigLaw’s systemic gender issues, it will take moral courage, intellectual and emotional bravery, and gritty leadership to move the needle.
Will this effort come from the inside or outside? No one really knows.
But, I do know that in writing Infinitely More, Amy Conway-Hatcher has called it by its name and put a big-ole’ bullseye on the issue of systemic gender inequality in the workplace.
It is here and it is now!
In 12 cogent chapters, Amy Conway-Hatcher slings the perfect shot to the head of BigLaw’s proverbial “woman problem.” I predict it will also be the “shot heard round the [gender] world” before too long. It’s that loud and it’s that good.
The story is told in the context of one woman’s daring climb to the upper echelons of BigLaw, but it serves up a universal and industry-agnostic message chock-full of takeaways for all readers - not just the women.
What struck me is that “we were made for infinitely more” is not just the author’s thesis, it’s a manifesto, an urgent call-to-arms for a long-overdue reckoning on gender inequality in the workplace. And it doesn’t stop there. It tackles wage disparity and the unfair and inequitable distribution of earned power in the business world as well. It is indeed, a tour-de-force.
The narrative is deftly-written, a true page-turner full of gasp-worthy “you can’t make this stuff up” stories. But it’s the clever, skillful, and unobtrusive way Conway-Hatcher peels the BigLaw curtain back just enough to reveal a deeply-ingrained and, quite frankly, insidious, system of gender inequities in BigLaw that makes this book spectacular. She generously guides the reader through the inner workings of the “BigLaw machine” and reveals that the true danger of this systemic issue derives not from its history, but from the subtle and covert way it is sustained. BigLaw leadership perpetuates the gender issue and ensures its vitality by adhering to outmoded business models, inequitable compensation structures, and failing to recognize all elements along the value chain. Unless and until there is recognition, there can be no reconciliation. And, until there is reconciliation, there can be no progress.
But there is hope!
Conway-Hatcher suggests that making the decision to change isn’t really that hard, it’s implementing the decision in a meaningful way that’s hard. And, in the case of BigLaw’s systemic gender issues, it will take moral courage, intellectual and emotional bravery, and gritty leadership to move the needle.
Will this effort come from the inside or outside? No one really knows.
But, I do know that in writing Infinitely More, Amy Conway-Hatcher has called it by its name and put a big-ole’ bullseye on the issue of systemic gender inequality in the workplace.
It is here and it is now!
March 8, 2022
Amy has written a courageous book pulling back the curtain on the issues that have plagued women in Big Law since the beginning of time. Whether you work in law or a corporation or any other professional service field, I have no doubt, you will be able to relate to this book. Her stories are relatable and so spot on - of the tough as nails prosecutor turned warrior defense attorney who left everything on the battle field at the expense of her family and herself. Why did she do it? She believed in her team. She believed that if she worked as hard as she possibly could, she would reach the adult Thanksgiving table and all that was promised her. But, in the end, the game was rigged. The promises were never delivered, the goal post was constantly being moved and the rules were not the same for her. This is the problem. And it's not just a problem women face, but women do seem to encounter these issues more. The truth is Big Law will likely never change. That is why women are leaving in droves and building their own law firms and some even leaving the law entirely (which is a shame!). Other women in other fields are starting their own companies and professional services corporations that compete handily with the companies they leave. For any woman who is determined to be the best in her career, I cannot recommend this book more highly. It will provide you with the necessary tools and insight you need to understand what you are up against from the get go. It's a true competitive advantage. Thank you, Amy, for the courage you had to write this book and congratulations on choosing your freedom. I'm sorry it took you so long to get to the other side!
January 7, 2022
This book offers honest, authentic, and engaging perspectives on juggling career and life while facing gender challenges as a working mom in the legal field.
Maybe I haven’t read a lot of books but this book is one of a kind to me. How often do we get to hear about the challenges and inequities experienced first-hand from a big law equity partner without any sugarcoating or BS? Besides the numerous stories and anecdotes that we can all relate to as female professionals, this book also offers actionable advice on how to take better control of one’s own career.
I’d recommend this book to all my female colleagues in the legal industry to understand how the game is played and what they can do. I would also recommend this book to those in leadership positions to understand why there are so few female leaders sitting at the table despite all the DEI efforts. I also would like to recommend this book to people that work at for-profit organizations, whether law firms or not, because it describes the inherent flaws and systematic challenges when money and greed guide all the decisions.
Maybe I haven’t read a lot of books but this book is one of a kind to me. How often do we get to hear about the challenges and inequities experienced first-hand from a big law equity partner without any sugarcoating or BS? Besides the numerous stories and anecdotes that we can all relate to as female professionals, this book also offers actionable advice on how to take better control of one’s own career.
I’d recommend this book to all my female colleagues in the legal industry to understand how the game is played and what they can do. I would also recommend this book to those in leadership positions to understand why there are so few female leaders sitting at the table despite all the DEI efforts. I also would like to recommend this book to people that work at for-profit organizations, whether law firms or not, because it describes the inherent flaws and systematic challenges when money and greed guide all the decisions.
January 3, 2022
Raw, uncensored, genuine - a must-read for every leader
Candor, humor, wit, vulnerability and more - in a wildly entertaining (if it wasn't all true) narrative of being a woman in a high-powered world. With pithy anecdotes, self-reflection and plenty of "if we don't laugh we cry" moments, the author reveals a story of gender bias and a subtle, yet powerful, condemnation of the systems that perpetuate it. Conway-Hatcher demonstrates the hallmarks of a true leader. Her story - raw, uncensored and genuine - helped me to realize not just the role society and male-dominated professions play in inequity but also how inherent structural bias has distorted what equity even means. A must-read for every leader with a genuine desire to do better. — Marcie Borgal Shunk, President and Founder of The Tilt Institute Inc.
Candor, humor, wit, vulnerability and more - in a wildly entertaining (if it wasn't all true) narrative of being a woman in a high-powered world. With pithy anecdotes, self-reflection and plenty of "if we don't laugh we cry" moments, the author reveals a story of gender bias and a subtle, yet powerful, condemnation of the systems that perpetuate it. Conway-Hatcher demonstrates the hallmarks of a true leader. Her story - raw, uncensored and genuine - helped me to realize not just the role society and male-dominated professions play in inequity but also how inherent structural bias has distorted what equity even means. A must-read for every leader with a genuine desire to do better. — Marcie Borgal Shunk, President and Founder of The Tilt Institute Inc.
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December 29, 2021A worthy read and we can only hope a call to action. Infinitely More shines a light on unequal playing fields for women in business, and the consequences to women who dare to challenge the status quo. Told through the lens of the warrior girl - a fierce competitor who always strives to do more in her drive to success - Conway-Hatcher shares unique challenges many women face competing in business while being COO of a family, a role that largely remains with mothers no matter what. And she reveals, sadly, the continued lack of understanding by male peers and leaders, and quick fixes or unaccountable pronouncements organizations make that don't work. — Beatrice Seravello, Partner, Baretz+Brunelle; former Big Law Chief Strategy Officer
December 30, 2021
Amy’s wit and vulnerability pull you in to keep reading this career warrior’s tales. You want to believe it’s fiction when you hear what’s she lived to tell about. But this is her truth (and others) and is why women leave. She shares her journey from the heart to help other career moms and as important, to change the path for the next generation of young women. Although written from a Big Law perspective, women across other industries will relate. This is a must read for leadership to stop ignoring what’s going on behind the curtain and how they can and must do better to retain key female talent.
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December 31, 2021When my boss told me that he surely is for women in leadership roles because "I get three in one - you women always work so hard to prove yourself" I just laughed. Today I would not laugh, because it is sad and often true. Amy's personal account is brutally honest and refreshing - at the same time it is sad, because it is true. Amy has an important message for all women, regardless of whether you are working in big law or are a mother. Let's unleash the power of womanhood, pursue our passion, contribute to a better society and work hard - but not at the expense of our ultimate dreams!
— Anna Romberg, PhD, executive board member, author and co-founder of Nordic Business Ethics
— Anna Romberg, PhD, executive board member, author and co-founder of Nordic Business Ethics
December 31, 2021
A must read for all men and women in the corporate world! Amy's authentic tone, heartfelt words, and undeniable courage are incredibly powerful. Having spent over 30-years in the corporate world (not in Big Law), I found myself reflecting on my own experiences in every chapter....Amy's personal experiences not only resonated for me, but caused me to realize that I too put my head down and continued to charge forward as I climbed the "greasy pole" in heels! Amy's stories are not just Amy's stories....Amy's stories have also been my reality. I realized that I have been guilty of contributing to the systematic issues. Thank you Amy for paying it forward!
January 11, 2022
Putting a name on the faces of women who decide to pivot - and how the thousands of papercuts have contributed to leaders losing women like Amy Conway-Hatcher. In Infinitely More, she tells the story of the many sacrifices she made, the risks she took, the myths she believed, and how she finally decided enough was enough. This is such a great story and example for young women coming up throughout industries, what to expect, how to prepare, and more importantly, stay true to themselves along the way. — Melissa Kilby, Executive Director of Girl Up
February 17, 2022
A must read for female leaders - especially at a senior level where behind the scenes insight is limited! Amy shares her journey with refreshing transparency. She is open about compensation / pay gap, the illusion of "DEI" efforts and invisible work that most if not all female leaders face. While I do not work in Big Law, I see a ton of overlap to other industries where the old boys' club is still alive & well despite #'s that may tell a different story on the surface. Highly recommend this book - I couldn't put it down!
December 30, 2021
A candid "story behind the surveys" of how the legal profession loses women leaders. Through witty, funny, and sometimes dark-humored story-telling, Conway-Hatcher bravely and vulnerably shines a spotlight on inequities in the legal profession and accommodations women must make to succeed while sharing lessons-learned, silver linings, and hope for the future. — Anjali Bindra Patel, J.D., Global Director of DEI at Winrock International, Author of Humanity at Work
January 3, 2022
As a former Big Law associate and mom, I found a lot of the content so relatable, and felt seen reading Amy’s story. It was also incredibly thought provoking regarding the reasons these inequities continue to persist, the reasons women continue to leave, and the role we have as women in it all. Would love to see an update a few years down the road, as this book was mostly about the challenges for women in Big Law but short on the “infinitely more” after, given it hasn’t been very long.
March 23, 2022
If Law & Order SVU and Alex Cabot were real, and she wrote a memoir, this would be the closest resembling thing. (Minus the whole part where Alex Cabot was the ADA and ended up in the WPP. Use your imagination here, people!)
I don't come from the law profession, but this was a gripping read. I finished it in 3 hours! A great look inside what it's like to work in law as a woman, and really relatable for any working woman, regardless of whether she works in law or not!
I don't come from the law profession, but this was a gripping read. I finished it in 3 hours! A great look inside what it's like to work in law as a woman, and really relatable for any working woman, regardless of whether she works in law or not!
December 31, 2021
Relatable, brave, and witty, Infinitely More shares what many women lawyers bury inside. It unveils ignored realities that never show up in women lawyer "survey results." This book allows you to walk in the shoes of a warrior career mom who must face, conquer, and compete on uneven playing fields.
— Bridget Bailey Lipscomb, President of the Women's Bar Association of the District of Columbia
— Bridget Bailey Lipscomb, President of the Women's Bar Association of the District of Columbia
January 3, 2022
An authentic and honest portrayal of professional women’s continued unequal treatment. A must read for all male and female lawyers, making a commitment to gender diversity. It made me want to sit down with Amy to share stories —and contact my law school Dean to suggest she include it in her new Leadership course.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews