Your Place or Mine?: Practical Advice for Developing a Co-Parenting Arrangement After Separation

by Charlotte Schwartz

Navigate the challenges of co-parenting with practical advice and legal tips.

So you did it. You separated. And now the kids that you always planned to raise together are being raised apart. Most people don’t start a family expecting not to see their children every day, and yet roughly half of us end up in that scenario. From there, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure ― and there are many choices you can make.

Your Place or Mine? is a detailed resource for separating parents. It will help you navigate the legal system, including negotiating a settlement, mediation, and litigation, and explains the nuances of different paths to dispute resolution. It also provides specific advice about what to include in a compassionate separation agreement, such as specifying how far parents can live from each other, where transitions take place, how to handle kids’ belongings, communication, future disputes, and introducing your child to a new partner.

Schwartz introduces you to several families (including her own) with separated parents, as well as adults who were raised by co-parents, and offers their insights. She also provides accessible advice from psychologists on kids’ mental health, as well as tips from family law lawyers, who share anecdotes about the world of co-parenting.

168 pages, Paperback

Published October 25, 2022

Reviews

[Alexis Hood · Rating 5 out of 5]

In an effort to support a friend going through a difficult divorce I bought this book and have since given it to multiple people. It is written by a Family Law clerk who has been through their own divorce and now successfully co-parent's with their ex. This practical explanation of the Canadian family law system is overlayed with personal experience and funny/emotional stories as well as observations and lessons from watching couples make choices that either set their children up for success, or not post divorce. I read it in one night, it's really interesting and very well written. If you or a loved one is embarking on the uncoupling journey, this book is a must read.

[Krista Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know this book is written for co-parents post separation, but it's a valuable resource for *all* co-parents, regardless of circumstance. The personal reflections, strategies and advice shared are thoughtful, useful and practical, applicable across a wide range of contexts.

As a child of divorced parents who separated when I was an adult already no longer living in their home, her written words stuck a nerve for me in an unexpected way. I saw both my childhood and adult self reflected in the narrative, and it validated my lived experience. To say that Charlotte is a gifted writer is an understatement. I laughed out loud, held my breath and choked back tears - sometimes simultaneously.

Reading this book gave me clarity and perspective I didn't know I was looking for. I hope I never need this book, but I'm so glad I have it.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I belong to several parent groups and for some reason spousal conflict and separation has exploded. I saw a local mom published this book and before I recommend it I wanted to read it myself. This is quite a practical guide on how to separate with minimal cost, disruption and discord with keeping in mind coparenting as a foundation for raising securely attached kids. Resources are Toronto specific but she went out of her way to research Canada wide (province specific) resources at the end of the book. I think this book can really help some people who are thinking about separating and have young kids.

[Catherine Miller Mort · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know the author so I wanted to read this even though I don’t plan on needing it personally. The book is a great balance of advice and anecdotes. Totally practical and relatable. I will for sure recommend it to anyone who needs it, or is supporting people going through separation.