Stable Condition: How to Stay Sane With Horse People in Your Life

by Daniel Skinner

When the people you love most find a passion in life, it's a beautiful thing. Unless that passion weighs a quarter of a ton and needs its own house. From the author of the hilarious best-seller 'From Nags to Numbnuts', this book contains invaluable advice for how to cope when the very worst happens, and life hands you horses. You didn't necessarily ask for them, you probably don't want them, but they appear to be here to stay so you may as well get used to it.

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This book is the follow-up to the 2018 best-seller, From Nags to Numbnuts (also available)... though it doesn't matter which order you read them in! Reviews for From Nags to Numbnuts: “Will make you laugh out loud” – Horse & Hound “A delight… a must for all horse addicts, confused parents, and other halves” – Haynet

Reader reviews for From Nags to Numbnuts: "Fabulous, wonderful, exceedingly well written" "It's priceless, I've not stopped crying with laughter" "I just couldn't put it down!!!""So many moments of hysterical giggles and tears" "Absolutely loved the book!! Couldn't put it down" "Received mine, my other half pinched it and loves it" "It's f****** hilarious" "LOVING IT!" "Eager to read more but also not wanting it to end!" "Bloody brilliant!"

141 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 29, 2021

About the author

Dan's debut novel, GET WAFFLE JONES, a darkly comic crime caper, is out this summer!

His previous two books, FROM NAGS TO NUMBNUTS, and STABLE CONDITION, were non-fiction, hilariously chronicling the financial misery involved in having a daughter obsessed by horses and dressage. Both topped several Amazon categories in both the UK and Australia for many weeks.

Originally from Sussex, he lived in London for 20 years before moving to Suffolk with his partner, two children, two dogs, two cats and several chickens.

Reviews

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The follow up to Skint Dressage Daddy’s “From Nags to Numnuts” – which assumed you now have family involved in the horse (particularly dressage) world and gives some advice and observations on it.

One topic is the sheer expense of horses (at one stage he bemoans his daughter not having a less expensive hobby “like space exploration”) and it is perhaps telling that my daughter bought me for my birthday a t-shirt which reads “Horse Dad – scan for payment” with a credit card strip beneath it.

And this conversation is almost like my own set piece rant about the unexpected costs of horse ownership.

Me: There's a letter there for you, by the way.
CCI: OK, thanks.
CCI opens letter
CCI: Oh, it's just the dental report for the pony.
Me: The pony's got a dentist?
CCI: Er, yes.
Me: Amazing. So it regularly sees both a doctor
and a dentist, as well as a shoemaker. You'll be telling me that it has a daily session with a chiropractor next.
CCI: No, don't be ridiculous.
Me: Thank goodness for that.
CCI: It's just monthly.
Me: FFS. No wonder we never have any money.
CCI: Right, I've got to head out, I'll see you later.
Me: OK. Where are you going?
CCI: I have to get to the stables, the horse masseur's due any minute. Oh, and if a lady turns up while we're out, just tell her all the rugs are in the garage - she'll be dropping off the clean ones.

I was reminder though that at least we don’t have a horse box (or do I need to add a “yet” to that) - which section gave rise to one of my favourite passages:

Now, a lot of horse people have lorries to chaufeur their nags around in, and this seems logical enough. Horses tend to be quite big and you generally can't get them into the back of a car even if you fold the seats down, but when you think about it, horses have played a blinder here. If you go back a century and look at any old photos of cities, towns or anywhere else with roads, you'll notice something straight away. There'll be horses everywhere towing a wide range of contraptions behind them to move people around in. People domesticated the horse so that, among other things, they could travel around with greater efficiency and comfort, essentially letting the horse do all the work. Fast forward to today, and wherever you look in the countryside, you see horses being driven around by people, often in hugely expensive lorries with every luxury in the back to ensure the horse is as comfortable as possible. I don't know whether all the horses got together to hatch a plan or not, but somehow they really managed to beat us at our own game, and you have to hand it to them.

Like its predecessor one of my favourite books of the year.