Iron Sharpens Iron: Friendship and the Grace of God

by Michael A.G. Haykin

With its emphasis on speed and busyness and the mis-named “social” media, the modern world has not been an especially welcoming place to develop long-lasting, solid friendships that nurture the heart. Providing exemplars and guidance in this challenging situation, this book on friendship looks at some of the details of the friendships of the eighteenth-century pastor-theologians Andrew Fuller and John Ryland to help us think about and engage in meaningful relationships that provide joy and strength for the Christian journey.

This is an ideal study for anyone desirous of being a better friend as well as those interested to know something of the history of Christian friendship.

Genres: Friendship, Christian, Christian Living, Nonfiction, History

134 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 4, 2022

About the author

Dr. Michael A.G. Haykin is the Professor of Church History and Biblical Spirituality and Director of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

He is also the editor of Eusebeia: The Bulletin of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies. His present areas of research include 18th-century British Baptist life and thought, as well as Patristic Trinitarianism and Baptist piety.

Haykin is a prolific writer having authored numerous books, over 250 articles and over 150 book reviews. He is also an accomplished editor with numerous editorial credits.

Reviews

[Carrie Brownell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoy a good book which focuses on the subject of friendship. Upon starting this one it occurred to me that I haven't read many (if any?) books about friendship written by men. Usually women gravitate towards such reads and the cover art is much more floral in its design. I love the image of iron sharpening iron though. Probably because it's an accurate view of relationships (go figure). The cover art was the original reason for me selecting this book by Michael A.G. Haykin.

The first chapter has a strong opening, telling the reader why friendship in the Western World is important. He begins by discussing how vital close relationships with others are, and concludes the book by pointing out that the Gospel is advanced typically through the work of friendships (i.e., the Body of Christ working together). I didn't disagree with him at all. The problem for me is that the middle of the book is more about Haykin's research on various Baptist pastors and their work/sermons/letters to one another. I believe Haykin's goal was to show how they spurred each other on in each other's ministries but it just comes across as talking about Baptist missions.

An alternative, and perhaps more appropriate title for this book, would be "Go, Baptists, Go!"

To be clear, I don't have a problem with Baptists. I hail from a long line of them. My grandfather was a Baptist preacher. However, I'm a Reformed Presbyterian and Haykin seems to continually refer to my sort as "High Calvinists." Each mention made me grin. We all have our issues . . . . except for the Reformed Baptists because they are The Most Right of all, of course.

This is not a well-thought through book about friendship. But if you want to know about Baptist preachers, this history of the Baptist church in England, and the hymns that Baptists wrote, then by all means pick this one up! This High Calvinist doesn't object THAT strongly. I'm giving it three stars for lack of focus.

[Jon Pentecost · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of the book was exciting. After one chapter discussing the concept of friendship, most of the book is spent delving into several different friendships among men like John Newton, John Ryland Jr, William Carey, Andrew Fuller, and their peers. Very encouraging to read and learn from these men's relationships with one another. But the book definitely felt more like historical exploration presented for your consumption, rather than a united, focused argument. I hope Haykin's book with Brian Croft on friendship in ministry supplements this book with more focused argumentation for friendship.

[Neil Burleson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book promises more than it delivers. The opening chapter with the author's premise on the importance of Christian friendship is compelling. His case that Christian friendships are too little valued in the modern Western world resonates with me. It was after reading this opening chapter in the Kindle "Sample" that I felt the entire book would be a worthwhile read. However, the heart of the book reads more like a compilation of the author's research rather than a well-organized development of the thesis. While interesting in its own right, it rambles at times and does not stay focused on the thesis. There are extended quotes upon extended quotes from various correspondence, which, as a history teacher I find interesting enough (particularly the parts about William Carey's mission work). But the overall force of the author's thesis is lost until he recovers it again in Chapter 5 and the Afterword. Overall, I was edified by reading this book, but I was hoping for a bit more depth in the treatment of the subject.

[Christian Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This walk through of historical Christian friendships is a fantastic and encouraging read. Haykin does an artful job of emphasizing the importance of Christian friendship, and by examining some prominent figures throughout the history of the church and their writings on the matter, Haykin is able to illustrate how friendship is one of the great gifts from God in this world.

[Caleb Batchelor · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I believe firmly that whenever God has done great things in the history of the church, he has done it through a group of friends, a band of brothers and sisters.”

[Gareth Davies · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was disappointed with this book about friendship. It didn’t say anything wrong, just didn’t really deal with the subject in any depth. Which is a shame, because as the author says, “when God has done great things in the church, he had done it through a group of friends, a band of brothers and sisters”.

[Aneurin Britton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't really get it. The structure of the book was difficult to engage with.
Having said this the last chapter was deeply encouraging.
There are little gems throughout but I feel the book needs to be expanded upon, with fuller arguments.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book but it was not totally what I expected. Much more of a history book rather than a theology. It recounts several historical friendships, which was good but I was hoping for more of a discussion on friendship.
Still good though

[Spencer R · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read my longer review at SpoiledMilks 5.23.25.

Michael A. G. Haykin's "Iron Sharpens Iron" explores the deep friendships between eighteenth-century Baptist pastor-theologians Andrew Fuller and John Ryland. Haykin argues that friendship was a vital spiritual discipline and a means of grace, contrasting sharply with todays surface-level connections. Drawing on letters and historical evidence, Haykin highlights how these friendships fostered spiritual growth, mutual encouragement, and perseverance in ministry. The book is rich in historical detail, but the extensive biographical data can overwhelm readers and distract from its core theme.

This book came free from the publisher for an honest review.

[T.A. Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haykin's Iron Sharpens Iron is a helpful illustration of both the historically high view of Christian friendship (which has been lost in the West), and the sanctifying role of deep friendships. I am thankful I was able to read this as a tonic following Friendish by Kelly Needham. The tone difference between these two books on friendship is astonishing, and I found Haykin's book refreshing and re-centering. I rated this book four stars because I felt Haykin, as a historian, sometimes got distracted and overly interested in the theological controversies occuring in the main figures' historical moment. While interesting, this tended to distract from the main point of the book.

[Skip Sanders · Rating 2 out of 5]

It lays out just a few examples of Christian friendship between pastors in 18th Century England. Of this it does an acceptable job.

I’m afraid there just wasn’t enough exploration past what these men experienced of friendship through their letters; I hoped the author might take that and expand. How does this look for us today. How do we take the good from these examples and apply? The culture is so different and the author was quite aware, but could have taken further liberties.

There was a good example where one friend took his friend and showed him the architecture of Oxford and the friend responded, “Yes but what is justification?”

I feel a similar disconnect.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book does exactly what is says to do, which is explores Christian friendships through the examples of a couple of eighteenth century ministers. It does a great job in pointing out what we are missing in our Christian friendships, and showing the value of deep Christian friendships. But I would have loved it to go into more details about friendship in the bible, and applications (which to be fair it openly admits in the introduction is not it's goal).

[Jonathan Lloyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

I understand why some may not like this book. It is not a book about how to develop Christian friendships or why friendship is important for the Christian life. Instead, Haykin examines the friendships of 18th century Particular Baptists (Fuller, Carey, Ryland, etc.). As one interested in this historical situation, I found the book engaging both personally and historically. If you are looking for a book with practical advice for Christian friendship, however, this is not the book for you.

[Paul Pompa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Iron Sharpens Iron

Interesting for sure, but not what I was expecting. Did not read as a cohesive group of stories. The point is well taken; Christian friendship is essential to our calling.

[Erik Anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The intro is very compelling, the historical sketches that follow are interesting but lack punch. This could have been 4 stars with more commentary or development of his argument from the sketches he offers. Friendship as a means of grace is a fascinating idea, but it needed to be teased out more.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book, but far more historical than I was expecting. It would have been nice to have had more in the way of application to modern life. But an encouraging and interesting read nonetheless.

[Matthew Silveus · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some interesting concepts but is mostly biographical and thus didn't really clearly point out ideas of friendship. I really wish Haykin would have gone into more particulars as it seems to be a cultural blindspot in our culture.

[Todd Burgett · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting book. It gives some great biographical information but I would liked to have seen more concrete application concerning friendship drawn from the biographical parts. It didn’t quite live up to the “promise” in the subtitle. Still a good read - Haykin is a good writer.

[Nicholas Abraham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A largely historical reflection on the importance of friendship in the Christian life. Haykin offers a handful of examples to support his thesis, whether through letters or other biographical information. Certainly a recommended short read!

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

5 stars for the history.

2 Stars for yet another book referring to Aelred's Spiritual Friendship as being the go to in this area. Aelred's book has a few good moments but overall is a very poor book.

So for history I definitely recommend this book. Beyond that look elsewhere.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

A decent and interesting book, and a rousing clarion call to cultivate Christian friendships which will serve as a means of grace and sanctification.

[Mark Joubert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good primer on Christian friendship taking lessons from the past to provide helpful principles for the present.

[Joy Conkey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very challenging book about the friendships of two pastor theologians.

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic sketch of church history, and commendation of Christian friendship. A deeply needed book.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

‘Iron Sharpens Iron’ was a helpful book on a topic that I hadn’t heard much on before, Christian friendship. This is almost a 4-star book, but I thought it was lacking in application in parts.

[Danieltituscom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haykin (in his typical fashion) gives an insightful look into the lives of Baptist forefathers and their friendships with one another. This work is informative, interesting, and inspiring.

[Samuel Vinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of a Baptist history lesson about a friendship

[Charlie · Rating 1 out of 5]

good messaging, but poorly organised. felt like reading someone's university essay. I also expected more biblical referencing.