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The Bonobo Sisterhood: Revolution Through Female Alliance – An Expert Road Map to Ending Violence and Achieving Justice
Foreword by Ashley Judd “Rosenfeld’s tour-de-force takes the power of female alliances to a higher level, giving us a road map for a new vision of women’s equality through the relationships and bonds we form among one another. The gift of this book is that it gives us hope.”—Valerie Jarrett, New York Times bestselling author of Finding My Voice , and former senior advisor to President Barack Obama The Bonobo Sisterhood is a revolutionary call to action for women and their allies to protect one another from patriarchal violence. Internationally recognized legal expert Diane L. Rosenfeld introduces us to a groundbreaking new model of female solidarity; one that promises to thwart sexual coercion. Urgent, timely, and original, The Bonobo Sisterhood harnesses the power of the #MeToo movement into a road map for sex equality in humans. Our closest evolutionary cousins, the bonobos have a unique social order in which the females protect one another from male aggression. The takeaway? Evolutionarily, bonobos have eliminated sexual coercion and enjoy a more peaceful, cooperative, and playful existence. We have much to learn from them. Rosenfeld explores the implications of the bonobo model for human societies and systems of governance. How did law develop to elude women’s rights so consistently? What difference does it make that we live in a patriarchal democracy? And what do bonobos have to offer as living proof that patriarchy is not inevitable? Most important, how can women break down barriers among themselves to unleash their power as a unified force? Rosenfeld has answers. The Bonobo Sisterhood takes us through real-life stories from the courtroom to the classroom and beyond, charting a new vision of a collective self-defense among women and their allies. It offers an action plan accessible to everyone immediately. This is an open invitation to anyone who wants to challenge the status quo. It starts with the power inherent in each of us knowing that we have selves worth defending, and awakening that power for ourselves and for our sisters. We now have a new model for real change, Rosenfeld reminds us. It’s time to use it. The Bonobo Sisterhood forges a path to create and discover a new meaning of equality, liberty, and justice for all .
304 pages, Hardcover
Published September 20, 2022
34 people are currently reading
2005 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
December 30, 2023
Everyone should (yes should) read this book. Violence against women has got to go and Diane Rosenfeld makes the case for Bonobos being our model.
“Our most closely related evolutionary cousins, the bonobos, are peaceful. Loving, food sharing, freely sexual, and xenophobic, meaning they love strangers, they do not fear them. Why? Because in their female-led social order, they have nothing to fear.” The book begins first with a description about how the bonobo sister help each other to fend off any male aggression. They reconcile a few days later. Most importantly “bonobos have eliminated male sexual coercion.”
While violence against women is one of the most important issues of our time, we get no help from patriarchal laws. In fact, the Supreme Court in the U.S. works against women—openly. Men have their castles and women get shelters. This is the world we live in.
There are some amazing stories and heartbreaking ones as well but we end up with bonobos and the idea of a support system among women—all women. Let’s do it.
“Our most closely related evolutionary cousins, the bonobos, are peaceful. Loving, food sharing, freely sexual, and xenophobic, meaning they love strangers, they do not fear them. Why? Because in their female-led social order, they have nothing to fear.” The book begins first with a description about how the bonobo sister help each other to fend off any male aggression. They reconcile a few days later. Most importantly “bonobos have eliminated male sexual coercion.”
While violence against women is one of the most important issues of our time, we get no help from patriarchal laws. In fact, the Supreme Court in the U.S. works against women—openly. Men have their castles and women get shelters. This is the world we live in.
There are some amazing stories and heartbreaking ones as well but we end up with bonobos and the idea of a support system among women—all women. Let’s do it.
September 25, 2022
Amazing Book providing a way out of sexual coercion and abuse
October 12, 2022
Rosenfeld cita y relata historias reales de los juzgados y salones de clase en los que se pone de manifiesto la epidemia de violencia patriarcal ejercida contra las mujeres, además de evidenciar la poca y a veces nula capacidad del sistema legal y policial para solucionar dicha violencia.
Algo a resaltar aquí es que no es solo otro recuento de los daños de este sistema, lo valioso aquí es la propuesta de una hermandad entre las mujeres basada en el modelo social de los Bonobo, en los cuales no hay evidencia de coerción sexual debido a las alianzas realizadas entre las hembras de esa especie.
Pienso que todos deberíamos leer este libro, pues responde a muchas preguntas relacionadas con el sistema patriarcal, la perpetuación de los sistemas de opresión y principalmente, qué es lo que podemos hacer al respecto.
No hay solo palabras de empoderamiento y positivismo, hay cuestionamientos reales de tipo cultural, social y legal tanto de los cimientos históricos de nuestra sociedad como las tendencias actuales de socialización.
Este libro se va directo a mi top del año, en serio, léanlo.
Algo a resaltar aquí es que no es solo otro recuento de los daños de este sistema, lo valioso aquí es la propuesta de una hermandad entre las mujeres basada en el modelo social de los Bonobo, en los cuales no hay evidencia de coerción sexual debido a las alianzas realizadas entre las hembras de esa especie.
Pienso que todos deberíamos leer este libro, pues responde a muchas preguntas relacionadas con el sistema patriarcal, la perpetuación de los sistemas de opresión y principalmente, qué es lo que podemos hacer al respecto.
No hay solo palabras de empoderamiento y positivismo, hay cuestionamientos reales de tipo cultural, social y legal tanto de los cimientos históricos de nuestra sociedad como las tendencias actuales de socialización.
Este libro se va directo a mi top del año, en serio, léanlo.
September 27, 2022
This book is amazing! A call to action for women and their allies to work in solidarity to end sexual coercion. This is so timely knowing that the results of unwanted sex could be life threatening and life altering. A MUST read and a MUST do.
January 25, 2023
3.5 but not available - curse you Goodreads.
The thing is, I'm fairly certain I wasn't the target audience for this book... there was basically a page and a half that specifically referenced men's involvement.
Hang on please, I'm absolutely not saying that's wrong given the topic and objectives of the author, just stating that I wish there had been a wee bit more about men as allies, how to involve/include them, and challenge them to change their biases and educate them.
I am thrilled that this book exists, was inspired by the stories of successful programs and am hopeful that the proposals will continue to take root and disrupt and ultimately destroy the dominator model. At the same time I was broken by the statistics and overview of where we've come from and where we are.
Editorial note would be... I felt it was a bit repetitive and perhaps 20-30 pgs could have been trimmed. 1st 26 pgs (Introduction, Forward AND Chapter 1) all felt like an intro.
The thing is, I'm fairly certain I wasn't the target audience for this book... there was basically a page and a half that specifically referenced men's involvement.
Hang on please, I'm absolutely not saying that's wrong given the topic and objectives of the author, just stating that I wish there had been a wee bit more about men as allies, how to involve/include them, and challenge them to change their biases and educate them.
I am thrilled that this book exists, was inspired by the stories of successful programs and am hopeful that the proposals will continue to take root and disrupt and ultimately destroy the dominator model. At the same time I was broken by the statistics and overview of where we've come from and where we are.
Editorial note would be... I felt it was a bit repetitive and perhaps 20-30 pgs could have been trimmed. 1st 26 pgs (Introduction, Forward AND Chapter 1) all felt like an intro.
December 24, 2022
“No one pimps my sister. Everyone is my sister.”
Revolutionary work. Thank you, professor Rosenfeld.
Revolutionary work. Thank you, professor Rosenfeld.
January 9, 2023
simultaneously renewed my love for women and cured me of my irrational dislike of monkeys/primates! (seriously though i think this should be required reading for everyone)
July 29, 2023
I understand the impulse, but this kind of revisionist, anthropomorphic, shoddy "science" doesn't actually do much of anything to help women. The idea that bonobos are a peaceful matriarchal society is incorrect, but even if it were, we are not bonobos. I don't personally believe that gendered violence is inevitable, but I also don't personally believe that the solution will be found outside of human societies, i.e., in nature. Even setting aside the inherent brutality of existing in nature (which is really not beating the "red in tooth and claw" accusations, to put it mildly), there is no natural precedent for dismantling a patriarchal society, because that concept is squarely human in origin. Leave the bonobos alone! They don't understand concepts like "patriarchy" or "rape" or "lesbianism," and that's fine. Misogyny will not be solved by anything other than putting women in positions of power where we can enshrine legal and societal protections for women and girls. Progress is and always will be a battle of miserable inches, not a problem with a switch to flip.
March 31, 2024
Bonobo Sisterhood is a long essay written by the author Diane Rosenfeld, on building an alliance of women, to protect themselves in the patriarchal set-up that we have today. She takes the example of bonobos, a primate species, very close to human beings found in central African. The author begins with the observation that bonobos are very matriarchal, and are protective of their female species, and often all other female bonobos come in defence of their ‘sister’ if a female bonobo were face an aggression from a male bonobo.
Thus, she makes the argument that the patriarchal setup we have – among humans or chimpanzees that we have is not inevitable among primates and another way is possible. She talks about the need for women to unite and form this ‘bonobo sisterhood’. She talks about real world examples of domestic violence and how these could have been prevented if they had this sisterhood.
This was an easy to read – feel good feminist literature. But to be honest, I felt the book had an interesting premise but is a piece of work with very lazy writing. First, the author assumes that the person the person who is reading the book is a cis-woman. For instance, I am a cis-man, who is sympathetic to the cause, supporting women’s rights and the feminist cause.
She insists that the movement has to be a ‘woman only movement’. Most social changes – though the movements were led by people who were primarily affected by it – still needs allies from outside the core group, who support the cause because it is the right thing to do. LGBTQ+ rights were not supported just by that community, but even by people from outside, because they felt it was the right thing to do. Same for the ongoing protests for rights of the Palestinians, ethnic minorities in their respective countries, etc.
Moreover, there were aspects that she conveniently ignored several important subjects – such as, what is the position of trans-women in this sisterhood movement of hers? While she certainly spoke against racism, there are still several feminists who are trans-exclusionary (JK Rowling’s name appears very prominently).
And last, humans, though similar, are not bonobos. Even if I assume that the use of bonobos here was a metaphor, I still feel that it would have been far better to have picked up an example of such a society formed by humans, be it by some community in the past, or some community in the present – such as among the peoples who are indigenous to Amazon.
To conclude, I would say that this was an easy read, but again, I do not know whom she was targeting this at exactly, and if it was only to cis-women, in my opinion, that is the wrong approach and that is why, I award this book only a two on five (1.5, to be precise).
Thus, she makes the argument that the patriarchal setup we have – among humans or chimpanzees that we have is not inevitable among primates and another way is possible. She talks about the need for women to unite and form this ‘bonobo sisterhood’. She talks about real world examples of domestic violence and how these could have been prevented if they had this sisterhood.
This was an easy to read – feel good feminist literature. But to be honest, I felt the book had an interesting premise but is a piece of work with very lazy writing. First, the author assumes that the person the person who is reading the book is a cis-woman. For instance, I am a cis-man, who is sympathetic to the cause, supporting women’s rights and the feminist cause.
She insists that the movement has to be a ‘woman only movement’. Most social changes – though the movements were led by people who were primarily affected by it – still needs allies from outside the core group, who support the cause because it is the right thing to do. LGBTQ+ rights were not supported just by that community, but even by people from outside, because they felt it was the right thing to do. Same for the ongoing protests for rights of the Palestinians, ethnic minorities in their respective countries, etc.
Moreover, there were aspects that she conveniently ignored several important subjects – such as, what is the position of trans-women in this sisterhood movement of hers? While she certainly spoke against racism, there are still several feminists who are trans-exclusionary (JK Rowling’s name appears very prominently).
And last, humans, though similar, are not bonobos. Even if I assume that the use of bonobos here was a metaphor, I still feel that it would have been far better to have picked up an example of such a society formed by humans, be it by some community in the past, or some community in the present – such as among the peoples who are indigenous to Amazon.
To conclude, I would say that this was an easy read, but again, I do not know whom she was targeting this at exactly, and if it was only to cis-women, in my opinion, that is the wrong approach and that is why, I award this book only a two on five (1.5, to be precise).
June 25, 2023
The author lays out an inspiring call to action for women to increase wellbeing, decrease violence against women, and improve equity through forming stronger alliances among women. As an expert in law, the author is at their best when showing with concrete examples how the legal system is largely based on patriarchal laws, often fails to respond to or prevent violence against women, and is a slow and insufficient solution to violence against women. The solutions she proposes - stronger women alliances, self defense training, healthy sexual education, and speaking up as a bystander are all evidence based promising strategies.
Yet, interested readers should be aware of two important caveats that aren't directly discussed. First, when the book discusses intimate partner violence, the author seems to only be talking about unidirectional male on female controlling violence (what the literature refers to as patriarchal terrorism) - a very worthy topic indeed. yet, the author does not state this nor discuss anything outside of this such as the more common scenario where men and and women are both using violence and experiencing psychological or moderate physical violence, violence in LGBTQ+ relationships, or the less common situation in which women are engaged in unidirectional violence against men. Second, many of the strategies the book discusses (e.g., self defense, speaking up as a bystander) have a lot of literature and research the author does not discuss so readers who are familiar with these strategies may be left wanting more discussion of the nuances or limitations of these strategies or a little frustrated that these strategies were often overstated as solutions to eliminate men's violence against women rather than promising strategies to reduce it to some extent.
Overall, the book is a good motivational call to action and argument that alliances among women can help counter some of the harms of patriarchy.
Yet, interested readers should be aware of two important caveats that aren't directly discussed. First, when the book discusses intimate partner violence, the author seems to only be talking about unidirectional male on female controlling violence (what the literature refers to as patriarchal terrorism) - a very worthy topic indeed. yet, the author does not state this nor discuss anything outside of this such as the more common scenario where men and and women are both using violence and experiencing psychological or moderate physical violence, violence in LGBTQ+ relationships, or the less common situation in which women are engaged in unidirectional violence against men. Second, many of the strategies the book discusses (e.g., self defense, speaking up as a bystander) have a lot of literature and research the author does not discuss so readers who are familiar with these strategies may be left wanting more discussion of the nuances or limitations of these strategies or a little frustrated that these strategies were often overstated as solutions to eliminate men's violence against women rather than promising strategies to reduce it to some extent.
Overall, the book is a good motivational call to action and argument that alliances among women can help counter some of the harms of patriarchy.
July 28, 2024
“this must end. here’s how. as we are bonobo all children are our children … we will enforce this [stopping sexual assault of children] by the same mechanism we protect each other : hear the call, answer the call.”
After spending the book bragging about her various law positions at private, lauded institutions and explaining how the law let us down … this is the best advice she has to offer?
She explains how even when women support women the law still doesn’t. I’m confused. What are you expecting me to do to change this reality? I guess her message is we first need to band together then be patient while we continue to suffer until some certain stars align and changes are enacted. But that needs to be more clearly articulated. And this message didn’t need 268 pages to get to the point.
There is a good chance I gave this such a low rating because I don’t like the message (which i do accept is the sad reality) but the message was also poorly articulated. Inside the chapters were these mini-vignettes that were supposed to be around a topic but I felt they never really spoke to the topic. I felt myself wondering how this story/discussion related to the topic
Also, I was overwhelmed with the number of abuse cases cited. They were thrown everywhere, even in the middle of another abuse story. I understand the point was probably to highlight how common it is but it felt very disjointed. You start talking about Patricia, then Nancy Jo then Kendall and then go back to Patricia and I already forgot what happened to her/what i was supposed to learn from her story. I got distracted from what the message was supposed to be
After spending the book bragging about her various law positions at private, lauded institutions and explaining how the law let us down … this is the best advice she has to offer?
She explains how even when women support women the law still doesn’t. I’m confused. What are you expecting me to do to change this reality? I guess her message is we first need to band together then be patient while we continue to suffer until some certain stars align and changes are enacted. But that needs to be more clearly articulated. And this message didn’t need 268 pages to get to the point.
There is a good chance I gave this such a low rating because I don’t like the message (which i do accept is the sad reality) but the message was also poorly articulated. Inside the chapters were these mini-vignettes that were supposed to be around a topic but I felt they never really spoke to the topic. I felt myself wondering how this story/discussion related to the topic
Also, I was overwhelmed with the number of abuse cases cited. They were thrown everywhere, even in the middle of another abuse story. I understand the point was probably to highlight how common it is but it felt very disjointed. You start talking about Patricia, then Nancy Jo then Kendall and then go back to Patricia and I already forgot what happened to her/what i was supposed to learn from her story. I got distracted from what the message was supposed to be
June 28, 2025
Wow! This book! So much information was presented in a way I could understand and gave me tons of aha moments as to why we as women think like we do and do the things we do in regards to men/the patriarchy. Women have to think about things the way men don’t, in a way that seems to never really cross their minds for themselves just for the fact that they’re men. Safety in public, safety at home, safety at work, safety everywhere; all in regard to how we think men could do harm to us or coerce us into things we really don’t want to do/agree to. This book was an eye opener in so many ways and covers so much more than just violence against women. It does intertwine how if more women stuck up for one another and came together more when it comes to men no matter the situation, things could get better for women in time, around the world and we could be treated more as equals. Also, Bonobos are unique in that they almost have a matriarchal society and the females all stick up for each other when it’s needed, even if they don’t really know one another and the males actually listen and change their behavior quite quickly. There’s no coercion. I listened to this on audio and I think every woman and even men should give this a listen or a read. I was fascinated to hear the statistics of violence against women and so much more info I couldn’t put into this review. I do wish it had more information on how bonobos are different in how they interact and live compared to humans, but it was still a great read.
November 15, 2023
a call to action and sisterhood that left me wanting more clarity and nuance. Often times it felt the author was willfully omitting or ignoring some obvious factors of why things she claimed as evidence of patriarchy might not just be patriarchy. Additionally, the author didn’t give enough practical examples of how women can dismantle the systems that harm them like judicial, police, prisons, etc. and instead just encourages women to share food more. While a great start, practical advice is needed to support the call of this book like how to protect abused individuals from abusers without involving the patriarchally flawed systems. Just overall wishwashy “feel good” feminist language that didn’t feel fully developed or nuanced enough to be anything but an introduction to feminist language and concepts a bit.
April 21, 2025
Humans are not bonobos! We can not apply the same logic. For starters the amount of buzz words and phrases and the frequency of which they were used were quite frankly distracting. I read the phrase “male human bonobo” in utter disbelief. Also, much of the book felt like it was building to this big solution that really never came, maybe that was the point.
Most frustrating is I think this could’ve been a good book, a lot of the content about how male centric our laws are and how it infiltrates our society is great! The bonobo thing should’ve been a section in a chapter IF that. 2(.5?) stars
Most frustrating is I think this could’ve been a good book, a lot of the content about how male centric our laws are and how it infiltrates our society is great! The bonobo thing should’ve been a section in a chapter IF that. 2(.5?) stars
December 11, 2022
A great conversation starter promoting female solidarity in the face of pervasive male sexual coercion. This book is not a bible but rather a framework outlining the mechanisms and assumptions under-girding patriarchy and providing a new paradigm for combating its all-too-common manifestations.
It left me wanting to know more and also conscious as I walk down my street of my freedoms and the ties to the women around me.
It left me wanting to know more and also conscious as I walk down my street of my freedoms and the ties to the women around me.
December 31, 2022
When discussing male violence against women and how it's possible to create a world without it, this book is fantastic. The segments about bonobos were fascinating, and the call-to-arms to treat every woman as our sister and protect her as such is very motivating, although maybe hard to put into practice on a large scale. I did have a few criticisms that prevented this from being a favorite, but it's a good book nonetheless, and worth reading.
January 5, 2023
A wonderful, thought provoking book. Not only does Rosenfeld provide new insight into the patriarchal society in which we live, she provides helpful examples of how to work together to diminish or end it. Her book weaves together stories from her past experiences, both professional and personal, in regards to the call-to-action: “everyone is my sister”. A very powerful book that I found to be a page-turner.
December 21, 2022
This is a great book! I have never thought about women’s Justice and safety quite like this before. Bonobo monkeys will protect other female monkeys against unwanted assaults, and we should do the same. We all need to stand up for each other, because we are all sisters fighting battles against patriarchal systems meant to oppress us. Definitely recommend!
April 22, 2023
I cannot recommend this book enough to my fellow feminists, women, allies, and everyone who is sick of the patriarchy continuing to control our every move.
It is eye opening, empowering, heartbreaking, riveting. I want to be buried with this book, this book should be written about in history books.
It is eye opening, empowering, heartbreaking, riveting. I want to be buried with this book, this book should be written about in history books.
July 15, 2025
“Perhaps bonobos are not afraid of strangers because they know they have a protective sisterhood, one that effectively shields them from male violence. When you think about it, what women and girls have to fear most is male violence. Remove that threat, as we can through the Bonobos Sisterhood, and the world will open up. Abundance will become visible.”
November 13, 2025
That a woman has to take a class to defend herself instead of living free of fear makes me ponder how to imagine the world without the ills of such societal decay. A detailed read about violence against women that requires an occasional pause from reading because my eyes needed to be cleared of tears.
September 24, 2023
Some of the central chapters were extremely sex negative and difficult to read (the message I gathered is that women who love sex outside a relationship are basically brainwashed by the patriarchy), but the first part of the book was very good!
May 5, 2025
“Nobody pimps my sister. Everybody is my sister.”
This book is a must read, an in-depth look into the patriarchy against women and men, and how we could thrive without it.
What a beautiful lesson we can learn from the bonobos, love your sisters, be there for your sisters, fight for your sisters.
This book is a must read, an in-depth look into the patriarchy against women and men, and how we could thrive without it.
What a beautiful lesson we can learn from the bonobos, love your sisters, be there for your sisters, fight for your sisters.
December 27, 2022
Message is a solid, strong message - organization of the argument could have been much better.
April 7, 2023
I’m answering the call
January 30, 2024
Really fascinating look at the Bonobo culture and how we can apply it to human society.
May 4, 2024
Every female should read this!
November 22, 2024
It’s true… a MUST read!
August 1, 2025
Started reading because I was curious about monkeys
Finished reading being furious about men
Finished reading being furious about men
December 10, 2025
Required reading. May we all seek to represent this level of community in survivorship.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews