Przynależność. Jak przypomnieć sobie drogę do domu

by Toko-pa Turner

Czujesz, że nie pasujesz do otoczenia? Nie tylko ty. Świat nigdy nie był bardziej połączony niż obecnie, a jednak ludzie są w nim niesamowicie samotni. Żyjąc w poczuciu wyobcowania, poddani kulturowej presji zwalczania tego, co odróżnia nas od innych, bezskutecznie poszukujemy drogi do odzyskania pełni swojej niepowtarzalnej jaźni. Większość ludzi myśli o przynależności jako o mitycznym miejscu i spędza całe życie, bezskutecznie go poszukując. A jeśli przynależność wcale nie jest miejscem? Co jeśli jest to umiejętność, która została utracona lub zapomniana?

Toko-pa Turner – światowej sławy badaczka snów, bestsellerowa pisarka i od ponad dwudziestu lat właścicielka Szkoły Śnienia. Dzięki czerpaniu z mitów, opowieści i snów zabiera nas do źródeł naszego wyobcowania, ukazując wygnanie jako konieczną inicjację do autentyczności. Dzieli się kompetencjami przynależności: zestawem praktyk przodków, które leczą rany i przywracają przynależność do naszego życia i świata.

/opis wydawcy

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Self Help, Psychology, Philosophy, Personal Development, Personal Growth

360 pages, Hardcover

First published December 15, 2017

Reviews

[Victoria · Rating 1 out of 5]

So, this book. There's a lot of good stuff in here, but somehow it managed to consistently rub me the wrong way.

Partly, I think, because it speaks mainly to a particular kind of trauma that isn't mine, and generalizes as if everyone must experience things in a similar way.

Partly, also, because there's a lot of baked-in gendered stuff about yin and yang, "Death Mothers," "masculine" and "feminine" energies, that felt really sexist and/or gender essentialist.

Then there was repeated, systemic misuse of words like "native," "aboriginal," "indigeneity," "our indigenous voice" in ways that felt loaded with erasure of the cultures those words represent. (Words mean something, damn it, and this is not what those words are for.) She writes about Taoism, Sufism, Hindu and Inuit goddesses, and everything in between... and I'm not convinced she's the right author for it or has a handle on that content.

So while there's a lot of good here, most of it got pretty overshadowed for me. I also had the persistent feeling that the author was still very much writing from a raw wound and hasn't fully integrated the lessons she's attempting to teach, even though she tells her story as if she has.

I wanted to like this book but maybe I'm just not the right audience for it.

[Jenny's · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't have a clue where I first saw this book. I didn't hear about it. It certainly wasn't on my radar. Somewhere I got a glimpse of this most beautiful cover. When I looked at the title and a little bit about the book, I was maybe a bit put off. Dreams and archtypes, fairytales, didn't beckon. It didn't seem like something I would be interested in. But I found myself going back and looking at it again and again. I was intrigued.

"Archetypes show us that we aren’t just leading insignificant lives, but stepping through the same gates with bravery and despair, awe and triumph, as the heroes and heroines whom we grew up admiring in our storybooks."

At the very beginnings of the book I knew it was special and rare. A writer that could draw me into vividly described stories, making me long to see living bridges! Bringing me back to listen to beautiful words that so eloquently described our natural desire to belong.

"Sensitivity is the privilege and responsibility of remembering. As Oscar Wilde wrote, “a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”As we come to understand the symmetry between the outer landscape and the inner wilderness, we can’t help but grieve the ways in which our own nature has been tampered with, denigrated, broken into obedience, and in many cases eradicated from memory. We begin to face the ways in which we are complicit in this slow apocalypse, within and without. Only from such a place of loss and longing can we begin remembering ourselves home."

We can all see ourselves in some measure revealed within this book. Toko-pa has the ability to tell engaging stories with wisdom, beauty, and deep truth, in a manner that left me haunted and paralized for long moments in contemplation. My heart skipped a beat! "There is wisdom here" I said. The kind that takes you off the beaten path to examine and contemplate. I have never come across anything like it before. Absolutly loved it.

[Elaine Mansfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner will transform the reader and the world. I found this book to be unique, transforming, and validating. My copy is underlined and dog-eared with notes in the margins. From the first pages, I found myself shaking my head in agreement. Yes, we are estranged and align ourselves with values that don’t nurture our deepest selves. Yes, we’ve forgotten how to love ourselves and life’s wild sacredness. Yes, we feel exiled from our bodies, our communities, the political world, and commercial values. I love the way this book brings many life threads together and connects sacred work from many religious and indigenous traditions. I love Toko-pa’s willingness to invite our rejected selves to the table. I love her honest personal stories mixed with stories from others and dreams told with just the right amount of detail. Belonging is sacred moisture in the midst of drought.

[Sandy Plants · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*

There was a lot of wonderful ideas and stories in this book and I definitely gained some value from ingesting the content! However, mostly, my experience with this book was that of feeling frustrated.

I found it painful to listen to (I bought the audiobook) as the mic she used sounded like she recorded into her phone and the editing was choppy and awkward, in my judgement. I didn’t enjoy the way she spoke—not her voice but her inflections. It felt very patronizing. It felt like I was being talked down to, which is a trigger for me and often times I felt anger and sadness towards this invisible narrator.

I question why a healed, wise person would even write a book like this. In my judgement she has a long way to go; a person who dictates how others should heal has a long way to go because, in my judgement, something is not healed in that person.

I hated hearing all the “we” language and I find that really passive and frustrating. Own your feelings and judgements, don’t speak for the “we” (it’s a subtle form of manipulation, in my judgement).

I also found her incredibly anthropocentric (humyns are god of this domain and everything is for us and we know best). After reading Joseph Jenkins, I don’t buy into anyone who tells me I have to work the earth and manipulate it for the good of the earth and the good of all: the earth, plants and animals know far more than I’ll ever know and if anything, they’re humouring me in playing along with my gardening/land-stewardship story: like playing dress up as a kid: “okay, Kye, we’ll play along with you.”

I was expecting to love this book and I didn’t, which is okay! I wish I had come into it with zero expectations as I may have enjoyed it more.

[Vanessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

i found this to be an overwhelming hodge podge of cultural references (appropriative, at times) used to advance the author's memoir turned spiritual self-help treatise, with Jungian dreamwork sprinkled in. the author tries to trouble binary thinking and speaks to the problems of colonialism and yet also engages in both throughout the text. the ideas in the book are nothing new, (break free from societal norms and expectations to find your authentic self in nature and community) and i think they are confused and watered down by her pulling in an Inuit myth on one page, a Taoist concept here, a Hindu teaching there, a Robert Bly quote here. it feels like she has just picked reductive and watered down versions of all these other traditions and works to fit into her particular narrative. and i am wary of books that extrapolate from one's own particular experience to speak as an authority about the human experience as a whole. not my fave. Read about 100 pages, skimmed and cringed thru the rest.

[Zornitsa Tomova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book, going deep into the topic of one of the core human needs - belonging. I listened to the audio version and it was wonderful to hear it narrated by Toko Pa herself. It felt like a very soulful share, rich in symbolism, wisdom and depth. It's so beautifully written, touching and vulnerable, it feels almost like poetry. I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking to dive into the question of belonging, dreams, subconscious, emotions, intuition, beauty, nature, artistic expression and everything we associate with a beautifully matured feminine side.

[Maleah · Rating 2 out of 5]

In all honesty, I didn't finish this book. I'm stopping where I am, somewhere around page 100, and shelving it now for two reasons. 1) It got a bit repititive for my taste. Each chapter, while beautifully and captivatingly written, seemed to send the same message as the last. 2) Much of the content felt faintly like a review of something I'd read somewhere else before, though I could never quite put my finger on where. My instinct tells me this book is a conglomeration of ideas and findings of many other theorists and researchers that the author has drawn upon to push her own agenda for what it means to belong in the world. This is all fine and good - I believe we all do this to an extent - but I would personally prefer to pick and choose my own path for belonging rather than adopt another's based on who and what has been influential to her. A beautiful book with some takeaway thoughts and quotes, but it didn't quite pull me in.

[Danielle Sullivan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Abandoned at 30%. I know folks really love this book, but I found it so frustrating on so many fronts. I'm sorry. Traditional Jungian stuff is so gendered and sexist, and some contemporary Jungians have attempted to counter that, but not Turner. Additionally, her oversimplification of world religion and myth to support her own points is first, actually damaging to the folks whose myths those are, and second, just plain bad writing. I could not with this book. I'm glad some others found some beauty in it, but I cannot recommend it.

[Miekje1402 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find this one hard to rate, because there are things about this book that I really liked, but also a lot of things I didn't like.

The book tells nothing new for me, really, BUT is beautifully written and I can see the value of that, BUT some parts don't really seem to tell something because it's like the author only paid attention to how something was written rather than what was written. Because of this, I have the feeling the message could have been written in half the pages it exists of now. The layout of the chapters confused me as well, I felt like the actual content of some chapters lacked cohesion and they would leave me very confused at times.

I finished the book because I was curious if I'd learn something new in the end, but I didn't really. However, a lot of the universal wisdom is described beautifully and I made a lot of notes of them. See how conflicted I am about this book? xD Maybe I missed the whole point of this book, who knows!

My advice: read this when it's one of the first books on awakening and spiritual/personal development. Don't read it if it isn't.

[molly ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic!

I saw a lot of myself in Toko-pa's story- in fact, many years ago a friend recommended I read this for that very reason.
Although I do think this book would have had a more profound effect on me if I had read it a few years earlier, I found it to be an excellent source of wisdom and guidance.

Having recently finished Women Who Run With the Wolves and with it still fresh in my mind, I can definitely see the influence of C.P Estes in this book. I do think it is strong enough as a standalone, but they work together very well and I would recommend both to anyone wanting to read one or the other.

[Toni Rahman · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are just so many things I want to say about this book. Toko-pa is a muse. Her combination of knowledge and heart weave a tapestry of such richness and resonance that make this book a permanent fixture in my house and my heart. It is a song to my soul. Belonging is a topic that needs to be a bigger part of our conversation as mothers, neighbors, sisters, daughters, sons, fathers, teachers, social workers, counselors, healers, schools, communities, organizations, etc. As a trauma therapist, I deal with the devastation of early relational trauma every day, and belonging is what the prevention and resolution of trauma looks and feels like. Thank you, Toko-pa, for sharing your story and this magnificent work with us.

[Manda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me over two years to read… not because it was difficult or because I wasn’t enjoying it. It was because I would read and sit through a process with it. I would let it permeate my being in doses. An ebb and flow of connection and then space away to integrate. Such a beautiful book. Thank you, Toko-pa.

[Christina Houen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Belonging is the other side of becoming. When we are becoming, we are always in flux, not fixed, not stationary. When we are belonging, we don’t need to be fixed or get stuck in a particular frame. It was true, in the past, for the majority of people who were not nomadic or displaced, that they lived their lives in one place, in a known community, an enclosed space with rules, mores, codes, rites and punishments. There was connectedness and security, but if you were scapegoated or exiled, if you didn’t conform, in some societies, if you were a woman, a slave or a child, or had a disability, you would suffer judgement, deprivation, even torture or death. Many books have been written about exile, about scapegoating.

Today, we live in flux. Even if we live in one place, the physical world and the technology we use to communicate and do business is changing rapidly. I grew up in the outback, in a small weatherboard house with no power, no phone, no vehicle some of the times, miles from the nearest neighbours. I have seen enormous changes in my lifetime.

I was exiled from my childhood home twice. First, when I was sent away to boarding school at the age of thirteen. Again, when I was fourteen, and my absentee father returned and forced my mother to leave the farm so he could sell it. She mourned that place for the rest of her life. For most of my life, I have not felt at home anywhere; I did for a while when I lived with my husband and children in England. But that dream fell apart, we returned to Australia, and I lost my children. For the rest of my adult life, I was a rolling stone, married again for a while, broke up, got together again (about four times), moved from rented house to rented house, gathering no moss. Finally, in the last eight years, I have settled in a place where I feel at home, I feel more of a sense of belonging than I ever have.

Toko-pa Turner’s 2017 book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, is about belonging, not to a place, but as a skill that has been lost or forgotten. Turner is a Canadian writer, teacher, and dreamworker, who blends the mystical tradition of Sufism with a Jungian approach to dreams.

Home is in the heart and soul. The book is dedicated to

the rebels and the misfits, the black sheep and the outsider. For the refugees, the orphans, the scapegoats, and the weirdos. For the uprooted, the abandoned, the shunned and invisible ones.

I put my hand up! She invites us to give up ‘allegiances to self-doubt, meekness, and hesitation,’ to be ‘willing to be unlikeable, and in the process be utterly loved.’ Who could resist this call! In my own life, I have let go of that meek, submissive girl and woman who tried to fit in, to please, to be loved and accepted. I have become strong, my own person, and I have more friends than I ever had when I tried so hard.

This book transcends reviews, since it is so beautifully written, so eloquent, and yet so down to earth, that it leaves nothing to say. I have the sense, when I turn the pages, that I am in this world of words, not outside it, and that there is nothing I can add to it. I could extract certain strands; for instance, the author’s life story, which we get glimpses of. It is not the heart of the book, but it is its seed. Toko-pa’s quest for belonging was ‘seeded in alienation.’ As a nine-year-old, she felt so alienated in her family that she tried to make an abandoned house her own. Her own home was a Sufi ashram, but it was not a safe place for her. Her stepfather was emotionally unavailable and physically violent. Her mother, a yoga teacher and herbalist, was volatile, prone to bouts of depression and rage.

Toko-pa ran away when she was fourteen, and spent the next few years in detention, in and out of orphanages, shelters and group homes, in exile, until she found her true calling. Her initiation was long and painful, as she worked through the wounds of her childhood and suffered guilt for leaving her family, believing it was her own fault she hadn’t been able to fit in. Physically, her woundedness and self-punishment was expressed in a crippling physical illness, finally diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis. Healing came slowly, through letting herself be loved and looked after by friends and by the man who became her life partner. She emerged from ‘chronic contrition’ and began to work with the belief that she could ‘still be lovable even when at odds with others.’

Exile, she teaches, can be a beginning, a turning towards the soul. This lesson is learned through a rite of passage (illness, in her case) and entry into the world of Eros, dreams, and mystery. There are rigorous tests, through which we slowly retrieve our ‘lost or captive parts of the wounded healer’s soul.’

This is such a beautiful lesson, which I have spent my life learning. In entering our woundedness we heal ourselves. We may be lose everything, be broken apart, dissolved, dispossessed. We touch the void. Yet, like Jo Simpson in his fall into the crevasse in the Peruvian Andes, by surrendering (literally, in his case, by cutting the rope), we find a way out, we return to life. Of course, we may die in the process. That is a risk we take.

Dreams, in Turner’s dreaming teaching, are ‘the gatekeepers of the underworld.’ They can be terrifying, disorienting, confusing.

The real bravery of dreamwork is … stepping into our adversaries’ shoes to see how we are also the cruelty that victimizes us.

There is so much wisdom and beauty in this book, I could go on and on but I would just be repeating the book. Like a koan, analysis has no place here. The book speaks to our intuitive knowing, our dreaming self, and calls us to a path of belonging from the inside out. I recommend it to fellow travellers.

[Chetana Jessica Torrens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was browsing in a bookstore just after the opening from physical distancing and this book called out to me. I have been talking to friends about the significant decrease in actual in real time gatherings well before COVID. I had been hoping that after the opening we would not take getting together in circle for granted. And yet, I longed to hear more from someone who had spent years exploring the need for belonging and how we as a modern society are losing it.

From the very first eloquent sentences, this book captivated me. I'm a discerning reader, but the beauty and flow of the sentences was extraordinary - this was a rare find and I knew it before the end of the first page. Halfway through, I searched the author online and signed up for a series of talks, podcast style, that come to your inbox. Toko-pa's voice and presence in the talks was as thoughtful and considered as in her book.

I lent the book to a friend who had already heard of it within a few weeks. Now, as I'm about to listen to one of the last recorded talks, I wanted to put up this review. Belonging is a beautiful and important book.

[Ellie · Rating 1 out of 5]

"In high school, I was always more drawn to hanging out with boys. They seemed easier to be around and interested in cool things like books and instruments. Girls, on the other hand, were always talking about boys, makeup and celebrities"

Ahhhh, criiinge.

Makes me consider stopping right there (page 58). 'One of the boys' is such a problematic statement & I'm shellshocked that she actually made this reflection right after talking about how people feel pressured at an early age to adapt with their gender expectations??

Like do you actually think you were the only girl in your school who thought books and music were cool? I'm so sorry! I guess I was super fortunate to have plenty of female friends who also liked reading, walking, films, games, and talked about lots of other things. (no, because girls like this exist all over the world and I am sure of it)

Just seems like a very blindsided thing to say that sheds a light on boys as being interesting and girls boring which is horribly unfair and also then arrogant.

Reaaally rubbed me up the wrong way that has

[CC · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally singular. Ground-shaking. Stirring. Seminal, except a different, less masculine-centric word. Endlessly quotable. Nourishing. So, so good. I thinned out my owned book collection a few years back and rarely buy books when I can use the library instead. However, this is one I plan to own. As soon as possible.

[Kimberly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not finish this book. I felt very frustrated because the author touts her many theories as her own , when in fact, she has pulled theories together from other sources. She then repeats her theories over and over again - very boring AND frustrating. I was incensed that she wrote her theories without even citing their source. I felt the book hinged on the edge of plagiarism.

[Kerr Twood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best and most grounded spiritual and self-help book I've ever read and listened to.

[Kultura przy herbacie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Toko-Pa Turner w książce Przynależność. Jak odnaleźć w sobie drogę do domu pisze o odnajdywaniu siebie i swojej własnej drogi w świecie. Temat głęboki, wielowymiarowy i bez wątpienia trudny. Jak poradziła sobie z nim autorka?

Człowiek współczesny zdaje się gubić w mnogości bodźców, jakie dostarcza mu świat. Tego jak funkcjonuje, uczyli rodzice czy dziadkowie. Jednak te starsze osoby mogły przystosowywać do rzeczywistości, która przez wiele czynników zmieniła się już tak bardzo, że wyuczone schematy zdają się do niej nie pasować. W dodatku w życie poprzednich pokoleń nierzadko wpisana jest trauma; wojny, kryzysu, zmian ustrojowych etc. Owe urazy i dynamika transformacji sprawia, że czujemy się zagubieni. Tego wszystkiego nie ułatwiają nam podziały społeczne, a te – zamiast się zmniejszać – pogłębiają się.

Toko-pa Turner to kanadyjska badaczka snów, pisarka i nauczycielka o polskich korzeniach.W swoich rozważaniach autorka wykorzystuje własne przeżycia i refleksje. Wplata w nie teorie z zakresu psychologii, psychiatrii, socjologii, antropologii oraz innych nauk. Ze względu na zainteresowania Turner, wiele miejsca w książce skupia się na naszej podświadomości. Poświęca także uwagę sferze duchowej: rozpatruje człowieka jako część wszechświata, odnosi się do wiary w siły wyższe.

Jako zysk z lektury uznaję dwa tematy, które najbardziej zapadły mi w pamięć. Pierwszy z nich to tłumaczone w wielu perspektywach to, że swoich braków i potrzeb nie powinniśmy za wszelką cenę szukać w innych osobach, gdyż nierzadko prowadzi nas to do zawodów. Jako przykład może posłużyć przytoczona prawda stara jak świat – umiej być przyjacielem, znajdziesz przyjaciela (to oczywiście telegraficzny skrót refleksji z książki). Drugi to bycie częścią społeczności. Autorka trafnie opisuje to, jak współcześnie oderwaliśmy się od korzeni, w tej kwestii chodzi mi o małe wspólnoty opierające się na wzajemności i spełnianiu wzajemnych potrzeb przez zaangażowanie każdego z jej członków. Warto sobie o tym przypomnieć i pielęgnować to w naszym życiu.

Mimo że Turner porusza i omawia niezwykle ważne tematy dla wielu ludzi, to z tą książką jest pewien problem. Otóż mam wrażenie, że ta pozycja nie do końca sama wie, czym miała być: poradnikiem, autobiografią, książką popularnonaukową czy też (zbyt) uduchowioną mową motywacyjną. Merytoryka miesza się z patosem. Górnolotny język ma w czytelniku wzbudzać wrażenie empatii, jednak mnie nużył, czułam przesyt. Lektura tej książki wymaga dużego skupienia, co z jednej strony uzasadnia jej tematyka, z drugiej znacznie ją utrudnia. Ja musiałam odkładać czytanie w czasie.

Podsumowując, jest to pozycja starająca się rozjaśnić i rozwiązać dylematy, z którymi boryka się współczesny człowiek. Niemniej jednak mnogość aspektów sprawia, że ciężko zarówno przez lekturę przebrnąć, jak i ją przemyśleć tak, by móc z niej właściwie skorzystać. To może być bardzo satysfakcjonująca książka, jednak nie dla każdego.

[Leah Merricks · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most important books I think I'll ever read. It was just wisdom about our feelings of separateness as a human being, from nature, from other people, from ourselves. I already want to re-read it.

[Florence Kiff-Viruly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Every page provided a line or two of rich insights into our sense of community and belonging. I now view belonging and its social and spiritual purposes, in a whole new light. The book also provided me with a rich perspective on the role of dreaming.

[Ariane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed and related to this book more than I even expected to, and appreciated the depth of digging into generational and cultural layers of the roots of alienation and outcasts. As with many books of this genre it spends more time on discussing belonging and lack thereof than solutions, which is always a little frustrating, but I think that’s the nature of these sorts of issues/books - they are challenging issues to solve and change (especially when saddled with any additional barriers like illness or disability, which she does touch on), that’s why we seek to understand them more through reading. I was less into the dream analysis than the rest of the content, but did appreciate the way it led to discussing the idea of personal narratives and stories, Jungian analysis was all new to me so it was interesting to learn more about. Overall I would definitely recommend this to anyone who struggles with sense of belonging and alienation/isolation.

[Tiina · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever felt lonely, missed a community to belong to, where you can be deeply seen and accepted as you really are, in other words, if you are a human, then this book is a soothing medicine that makes you feel less alone and see the full sanity and beauty of your longing. Poetic and profound contemplation on the theme of belonging, community and the process of individuation. Enriched with personal stories from the author and others, it makes an emphatic and very relatable deep exploration into the process of recovering the connection with self, others and the world at large. This book is written by a courageous, sensitive and utterly beautiful soul, so it speaks deeply to anyone who needs its medicine.

[Rachel Mantas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was really tough to get through for me. Some sections were overly repetitive, and I feel like the story she was trying to share could have been shared in half as many pages if she hadn't wanted to add additional words which unnecessarily bogged down the story. Some parts were impractical, while others were relatable. Overall, I am just happy to be done with this book. I can see how it may speak to others, but it was not always clicking with me.

[jb · Rating 1 out of 5]

i think from the author's tone & general ideas this book would have been better suited formatted as a memoir themed around alternative ways she found belonging in her personal life vs. a how-to book.

as a how-to book i felt there were too many ideas that were not concrete enough to latch onto to understand and i didn't find the first person perspective helpful, rather more scattered and confusing.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled across this lovely book and I have been blown away by the beauty & eloquence of Toko-pa Turner's work with myths, dreams, and stories as a path to healing and authenticity. This book feels like 'Home' I will be reading & rereading this book for a long time to come.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a deep and provocative consideration of belonging. Turner begins with an exploration of the inner self, challenging us to fully accept ourselves despite group pressures. A highly worthwhile read and beautifully written.

[echo]

miałem kilka reakcji na tę książkę:

- pierwsze wrażenie, podyktowane okładką, sprawiło, że spodziewałem się miłej i ciepłej garści rozważań o poczuciu wspólnoty i niczego więcej

- okazało się, że książka kilka razy personalnie mnie zaatakowała (w pożądany sposób); widziałem kawałki siebie we fragmentach o wstydzie, wyobcowaniu, milczeniu i lęku, widziałem znajome problemy i ścieżki, które mogą prowadzić poza ich horyzont

- nie przekonała mnie decyzja o ciągłych powrotach do nieugruntowanego jungizmu, który przysłaniał systemowe ujęcie problemu samotności i skupiał się na jego duchowym wymiarze (który oczywiście też uważam za ważny, ale nie w abstrakcji, tylko w połączeniu z warunkami życiowymi jednostek i grup); nawet jeśli pojawiły się wzmianki o winie kapitalizmu w kreowaniu doświadczenia wyobcowania, autorka nie zajmowała się systemowymi rozwiązaniami; zdarzało się, że jungowsko-new-age’owe rozważania przysłaniały też sam temat budowania wspólnoty i odzyskiwania umiejętności przynależenia

- końcowe rozdziały nieco błądziły, balansowały na krawędzi redundancji, ale pierwsze wywarły na mnie wielkie wrażenie i uważam, że warto przeczytać książkę choćby tylko dla nich, ponieważ świetnie radzą sobie w szturchaniu kijem pogrążonego w zrezygnowanym letargu pragnienia przynależenia

- nie rozumiem (to znaczy rozumiem, ale nie akceptuję) decyzji tłumaczki, żeby w bezpośrednich zwrotach do osoby czytającej używać niezmiennie męskich końcówek

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a lot of wisdom in here, but I thought it could've been pared down quite a bit - it was all yin and not enough yang for my taste.

It felt meandering, full of beautiful words meant to be savored and rolled around on the tongue. I took my time reading, but I wanted a little more structure/logic to the sections and clarity on where we were headed. My biggest gripe, though, was the "everything in the world is getting worse" outlook that popped up in several sections (and was presented in a matter-of-fact way). However, the bulk of the writing was uplifting and thought-provoking, and I found myself journaling a lot while reading. My favorite parts were the dreams and dream interpretations woven throughout.

[Varunika Sood · Rating 4 out of 5]

profound and inspiring book that explores the theme of belonging, and the importance of reconnecting with our true selves in order to find our place in the world.

The author draws on a wide range of spiritual and philosophical traditions, as well as her own personal experiences and insights, to offer a nuanced and compassionate perspective on thechallenges that we face in our search for belonging. She argues that we have lost touch with our deeper selves, and that this disconnection is at the root of many of our problems as individuals and as a society.

The book is divided into three parts, each of which explores a different aspect of the theme of belonging. In the first part, the author discusses the nature of belonging and the reasons why so many of us feel disconnected and isolated in our modern world. In the second part, she offers practical advice and exercises for reconnecting with our true selves, including meditation, dreamwork, and creativity. In the third part, she explores the role of community and the importance of finding our place in the world.author's beautiful and evocative writing style. She has a gift for metaphor and imagery, and her writing is both poetic and deeply insightful. She also draws on a wide range of sources, from poetry and mythology to neuroscience and psychology, to offer a rich and multifaceted perspective on the theme of belonging.

Another strength of the book is the author's compassion and wisdom. She writes with empathy and understanding, and she is able to offer practical advice and guidance without ever sounding preachy or condescending. Her insights are grounded in her own personal experiences, and she speaks from a place of authenticity and vulnerability.