Arrival

by Nataliya Deleva

Arrival is an exploration of the ripple effects of domestic abuse. The story follows a young woman fleeing her home country and trying to rebuild her life, after she has suffered violence at the hands of an alcoholic father.

Prompted by her therapist, the unnamed protagonist starts processing the abuse experienced in her childhood while also pondering what it means to be a mother when consumed by trauma. The novel bends form to accommodate the narrator’s scattered mind and her attempt to assemble a version of herself through fragments and stitches of memories, borrowed conversations and minutiae that linger and haunt.

Infused with love and determination and interwoven with folk tales and rituals, Arrival depicts the ways in which we are resilient, capable of carving our own paths and reimagining our lives.

Praise

‘I read Arrival in one rapt gulp, urged on by its unnamed narrator’s need to flee her past, escape the confines of womanhood, and the stains of shame and guilt that keep repeating on her, like heartburn. The novel deals in life’s hard knocks, in trauma and deracination, but in langauge that is sensual, languid, feline, snaking with double meaning and sly humour. Like an Sigrid Nunez novel, Arrival seems to be about everything, its canvas expanding and contracting, allowing the story’s particulars to echo far and wide.’
Marina Benjamin, author of Insomnia

‘A powerful tale about love, domestic violence, motherhood, escape, and arrival on many levels, written with sensuality and poetic force.’
Naja Marie-Aidt, author of Baboon, Rock, Paper, Scissors and Carl’s Book

‘From the opening of Arrival, Nataliya Deleva demonstrates a remarkable talent for conjuring place and moment. It sits the reader beside her unnamed narrator. Whether in the Bulgarian valleys of her childhood or inhabiting the trauma-induced void that’s replaced any semblance of home, we are beside her.’
Harriet Mercer, author of Gargoyles

‘Arrival is a book made up of fragments – fragments of love, motherhood, abuse and marriage – which form an intriguing and moving kaleidoscope narrative. A jagged, beautifully written novel which explores the shattering impact of abuse and how the past shapes the present.’
Sam Mills, author of The Fragments of My Father

‘In her powerful second novel Nataliya Deleva explores the legacy of a childhood scarred by domestic abuse: how the confusion of love with pain creeps into every fragmented shard of adult life, contaminating relationships and complicating motherhood. Through the mythical samodivi she conjures an enduring archetype of the wild rebel female who has escaped, who rejects the ways men control women. There is beauty and tenderness in the creation of her unnamed narrator’s new life, in the poetry of survival and renewal, and in the breaking of patterns for her daughter – freedom from shattering cruelty.’
Venetia Welby, author of Dreamtime

‘Arrival is a story of growth and healing, an unflinching look at the aftermath of growing up in systemic domestic violence. Deleva immerses us into the narrator’s journey of entering motherhood while simultaneously understanding, healing and rebuilding her life. The devastating memories of a lost childhood will not leave the readers unmoved. It hurts to read this book, yet it gives us hope for the resilience of the human spirit. ‘
Katerina Stoykova, author of Second Skin

Genres: Fiction, Mental Health, Literary Fiction, Contemporary, Bulgarian Literature, Novels, Womens

272 pages, Paperback

Published February 24, 2022

About the author

Nataliya Deleva is a Bulgarian-born writer, living in London. Her debut novel, Four Minutes, was originally published in Bulgaria (Janet 45, 2017), where the book was awarded Best Debut Novel and was shortlisted for Novel of the Year (2018). It has since been translated into German (eta Verlag, 2018), English (Open Letter Books, 2021) and Polish (Wydawnictwo EZOP, 2021).

Her short fiction, essays, interviews and book reviews have appeared in literary journals and anthologies, such as Words Without Borders, Fence, Asymptote, Empty Mirror, Reading in Translation, Granta and the anthologies Stories from the 90s (ICU Publishing, 2019) and Love for advanced (Colibri, 2022).

Her second novel ARRIVAL, written originally in English, is published by The Indigo Press, UK (2022).

Reviews

[Anaïs Cahueñas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Told from the perspective of a young Bulgarian woman who fled to London, this is a story shown to us through spare vignettes and disjointed yet languid recollections of her childhood domestic violence. We’re dealt hard blows with soft hands as we travel back through her own memories.

The protagonist spends her adult life navigating her traumas - the abuse of her alcoholic father and the resulting resentment and tension between her and her mother.

It was an intricate yet sparse weaving of delicate threads, past and present, as she ruminates on the impact of her childhood and how it relates to her now that she’s a mother herself. Although it’s a heavy topic, it was still a bittersweet read where her resilience shines through on every page. Deleva gave us a gorgeous story of a strong woman’s life, filled with introspection, honesty, vulnerability and determination.

This was a kaleidoscopic narrative filled with love, motherhood, abuse and tenderness. I not only drank this in one sitting, but I felt like I was with her every step of the way.

[Amy [adleilareads] · Rating 5 out of 5]

A young Bulgarian woman moves to London after fleeing to escape the traumas of domestic abuse from her father. Now a mother herself, she ponders her upbringing and what her mother did or didn’t do to protect her: As she attempts to rebuild her life, she also contemplates her new dual-identity and place of belonging when living in London and when visiting Bulgaria.

I adored this book. It’s one that has stayed with me since. The beautiful, poetic writing immersed me completely in her story. Whether in the Bulgarian county side or busy London we are entirely by her side, rooting in her resilience to process her upbringing and the face the challenges this has brought into her adulthood.

The author cleverly portrayed trauma through alternative fragmented chapters, interspersed with the protagonist’s present to highlight the effect of childhood trauma.

Astounding.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really really liked this. Wish I’d been able to read it before I attended a (virtual) event with the author, Jessica Au and Nina Mingya Powles.

rtc (maybe)

[Lily Crawley]

This was such an interesting read.
The fractured paragraphs that were so disjointed (we were always moving back and forth in time from country to country), created such an unstable atmosphere which allowed us to resonate with what the narrator must have felt. It was so cleverly written!
Such an important topic too, touched upon with great sensitivity.
Deleva is such a talented writer, I cannot wait to read more of her books!

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In my mind, the geometry of life has different dimensions. I prefer to think that we gravitate around ideas, places and people; at times getting closer, at others moving apart."

"because all I knew was that pain was love and love was pain; two words interwoven, like a knitted pullover wrapped around my existence -- envy me i told them -- [my father] is all this, too"

"Perhaps the answer is not out there, in these new cities, new people, new directions, but in me."

Structurally brilliant and quietly devastating, this novel is easy to devour with all its bitter blues and flecks of sweetness.

[suzannah ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

heartbreaking

[Kaylee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Her writing is always just so beautiful

[Anne Elise Teeling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought the layers of this book were so interesting. The author wrote the rippling effects of trauma very well & I feel like she also wrote the difficulty of balancing autonomy and motherhood with delicacy. Sometimes (most times) I wished for more clarity for the narrator, but the whole point of the novel was the struggle.

[Vanya Rusinova · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to put this book away.

[Andreia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful in a way that only books written in a second language can be. Arrival is such a perfect title for this book. Through most of it, it feels like you're travelling through the protagonist's memories, her childhood, her adulthood, her motherhood, her dreams, her nightmares. Sometimes only getting snippets, as if you're browsing through a photo album. And by the end, you have arrived. It feels like a landing. I loved it from the moment of departure.

[Tilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished reading Arrival by Nataliya Deleva last week and wanted to gather my thoughts. It's a story that moves fluidly between genres, blurring the line between fiction and memoir. I often wonder how much of a novel is a creation of an author's own thoughts, feelings and memories. after all, writing is such a personal process.

The book is narrated in fragments and flashbacks, symbolic of its subject matter: the ripple effect of childhood trauma and domestic abuse. The author explores the dangerous power of memory, the meaning of motherhood, the cultural shift of living as an immigrant, the interwoven nature of progression and regression. By the end of the novel, I was contemplating what the 'arrival' of the title was...Acceptance? Forgiveness? Healing? Her own becoming as a mother? A belief that everyone is worthy of love? Perhaps all of these things?

Interestingly, the author mentioned in an interview that she attempted to write the novel in her mother tongue, Bulgarian, but found that the words flowed more naturally in English. Maybe stories can only come to the surface when you escape familiarity?

A few saved passages...

"I was still under the spell of my own conception, deeply engraved into my subconscious, the guilt that my coming into the world had caused a hurricane of unhappiness."

"At the same time, I rebelled against this common thinking that every woman dreams of being a mother, the only choice mankind has given her without the right to object."

"There was something unspeakable preceding the act of surviving, leaving the remains behind. I am the remains, and at the same time I am my own inception."

"The whispers of this place that I both love and loathe caress my eardrums and I succumb to the pleasure they bring. I am here and there, in the crack of nothingness that has enveloped me. I strip away the sorrow, and remorse, and despair. [...] I stay here until my naked mind makes the sky shy and it blushes in nuances of purple and orange."

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fleeing the tentacles of an abusive childhood, a young woman has left her home country and is trying to rebuild her life elsewhere.

I went into this one expecting it to be very good - after all, it was recommended and lent by a friend whose book taste I trust - but I honestly didn’t expect to love it as much as I did.

Principally, it’s a story of the lasting effects of trauma, when love and abuse have been synonymous - whether experience physically as a child, or psychologically as an adult - and how that can end up reverberating through somebody’s whole life. The insidiousness of it is very well written. Actually, the book in general is very well written - it’s fragmented, but this works perfectly with the story.

There’s also quite a bit about motherhood, especially the experience of adapting to motherhood, and all the fears that can come with that. And, my favourite topics of identity and belonging also feature heavily - feeling tied to two different places yet also “between” them and no longer quite belonging in either. These themes might have been secondary (though everything is intertwined, of course) but they added richness and depth to the story and resonated with me far more strongly than I had perhaps anticipated.

A heartfelt, fragmented story of the long-term reverberations of abuse, intertwined with an exploration of identity, belonging and adapting to motherhood.

[Irina Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an Eastern European myself who migrated to the West I could finally find myself in a book. I loved it, a short but beautiful read, sometimes full of painful moments but inspiring because it shows that Eastern female resilience that is so familiar and overlooked.

[Румяна Иванова · Rating 5 out of 5]

Прекрасен роман - за възрастния и нараненото дете, силата да продължиш и страшно отекващите стъпки от миналото, може ли детето да спаси родителя и себежертвената обич, която те оставя на колене пред насилника - с мисълта, че ще се промени.

[Tara Geigel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this! I finished this in one day as I couldn't put it down. I really resonated with the narrator as I have had similar experiences myself. Would definitely recommend

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. I really appreciated the structure, the snippets, vignettes of memory. It's not what I expected - in a good way! I love a surprise and a 'sleeper'. I will certainly look for other works of Deleva. Her observations & encounters (such as when someone in England asks 'how are you' they don't really care, they're hoping you say 'fine' 'ok', not tell them how you really are). Bittersweet, but a women navigating past trauma and trying to make sense of it, and how to live her life going forward. As a trauma survivor it really resonated, and I can't say enough how beautiful, spare the writing is.

[thelibraryofalexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I’ve read all year

[Rosi Zlatarska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Много истинска книга - за изборите в живота белязани от миналото, за болката, прошката, силата да продължиш напред и да изградиш най-добрата версия на себе си.

[Indie Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful piece of literature!
Loved ❤️
Sometimes, u give a brand new release a chance and it turns out to be the best!

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arrival is made up from the scattered reminiscences of a woman migrating to the UK from Bulgaria. Right from the start, she states how it is impossible for her to narrate in anything other than short fragments and so we follow a main storyline from her coming to the UK to raising her daughter as a single mother, always interspersed with scenes from her childhood, youth, therapy sessions or later in her life, with commentary on certain social issues like sexist double standards.
It never becomes difficult for me to follow her story of growing up under domestic abuse. The author has that kind of focus on her story to give each scene impact while letting the readers connect the dots. I find the protagonist fascinating all in all. It's very clear how much the domestic abuse influences everything about her life and that includes more unlikeable traits like an inability to form trust and lasting relationships (preferring one-night-stands) and I for one I can't resent her for that. She has grown her edges to survive but she is always ready to adapt and willing to get help, only that some things might never be fully healed.

[Cate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a sad novel. The writing is absolutely spectacular and we have so much sympathy for our unnamed protagonist. I liked how it interwove our narrators current life with snapshots of important moments in her past, as well as tiny snippets of her and her therapists conversations, it made it a really interesting read. The disjointed timeline and scattered thoughts really mirrored our narrators disordered thinking, and even though she had a good understanding of what her trauma had led her to (with her relationships with men and having children herself) she was still finding it difficult to change, which made it feel raw and real. Reading her past memories and her frustration with her mum also was so interesting and this also felt so real and really difficult to read. Even though the subject matter was so dark, somehow by the end I felt hopeful for our narrator, but overall I thought this was such a well written book and I’d be keen to pick up more of Deleva’s work in the future.

[Jason Osman · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

Gorgeous, heartbreaking, meandering in all the right ways. The first half was crushingly good, the last 20% totally brilliant. A few moments in the middle felt underdeveloped or unnecessary, but on the whole, this is a really smart portrayal of the long-term effects of abuse.

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an elegant way to describe childhood trauma and the journey to healing in adulthood.

A perfect book. No notes.

[Talita Koycheva · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Пътна връв“ – Наталия Делева – издателство Жанет 45 – 304 стр. – 5⭐

„Пътна връв“ се поема на пресекулки, на бавни глътки, с възли в гърлото. Болезнено откровен разказ за това как насилието, преживяно зад затворените врати на „уютния дом“, не остава в детството. То се превръща в невидима нишка, онази „пътна връв“, която ни дърпа назад, колкото и далеч да бягаме физически.

Наталия Делева майсторски описва как детето, израснало в среда на агресия, се научава да „разчита“ тишината. Насилието не е само физическият удар, а постоянното състояние на бойна готовност, усетът за това кога стъпките в коридора вещаят буря. Книгата показва как тези деца не просто порастват, те се „вцепеняват“ в своята травма.

Най-страшният аспект в романа е изследването на това как травмата се пренася в зрелия живот. Възможно ли е да обичаш здравословно, ако първият модел за „любов“, който си видял, е бил свързан с болка и власт?

Жертвите често се опитват да компенсират липсата на сигурност чрез бягство, изолация или свръхемпатия към други страдащи. Авторката деликатно, но безпощадно показва опасността несъзнателно да се върнем към познатото (макар и токсично) или да станем жертви отново, защото не познаваме границите на собствената си стойност.

Заглавието е гениално в контекста на насилието. Това е пъпната връв, която не е била прерязана правилно. Тя не носи храна и живот, а пренася отровата на миналото. Тя свързва поколение след поколение в една обща верига от срам и мълчание.

Романът е важен, защото вади насилието от статистиката и му дава лице и глас. Той показва, че „детето свидетел“ е всъщност „дете жертва“. Делева не търси сензация в описанието на боя, а търси психологическата дисекция на това какво се чупи вътре в човека и как това парче липсва дори десетилетия по-късно.

Тази книга е за тези, които са успели да оцелеят, но все още се учат как да живеят. „Пътна връв“ не предлага евтино изцеление, а предлага истината: пътят към себе си минава през признаването на раните.

5/5, защото след последната страница не можете просто да затворите книгата и да продължите напред, сякаш нищо не е било.

[Juliano · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The past, the present and the future lost their contours and amalgamated into a confused narrative, too difficult to follow.” Although this sentence, which comes not far from the end of Nataliya Deleva’s Arrival, is about a specific moment in the narrative, and in the life of this novel’s protagonist, it totally encompasses the overall sense of the story. Told in a series of fragmentary chapters, building from memories, therapy sessions, stories and conversations, it is a form-distorting exploration of writing and re-writing memory to allow space for personal growth, changing perspectives, and the danger of the past. “Later, I thought about that need for narrating the trauma; like people hurting themselves, writing on their bodies, an appeal for help, a silent scream. I've been keeping this side of me tightly locked away.” The legacy of this trauma on the narrator’s life, and on her fraught relationship with her young child Ka, is palpable, and builds to a quiet but shattering revelation about her relationship. “How had I not seen my father in Milo, his desire to impose on me, to decide for me, and to do it with such confidence and arrogance that it would blind me? While I was happy that he wasn't an alcoholic, finding comfort in the reassurance that he would never physically hurt me, I failed to notice all the other ways he was abusing me: amputating my freedom, robbing me of my personal space, distorting my emotional state.” This moving, shocking novel exalts in possibility under awareness — how freedom, despite its great cost, is glorious and worth struggling for.

[SavvyVile · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 ⭐️

I absolutely loved this unexpected pick at the library. The blurb gave nothing away except for a nod at themes of childhood domestic violence and the effects of it in love in adulthood.

This was a really beautifully written and formatted story jumping through critical points in our unnamed narrators life - from memories past with a violent father figure and a child desperately trying to mother and protect their own mother; to poignant moments in adulthood where life started to shift and roads were paved, to short excerpts from present day therapy sessions where we see our fmc wind up and unravel over and over again.

I could really feel the author bleeding their own experiences and trauma dry in this book - the tone was so familiar, intimate and gentle despite its harshness.

I could best describe the authors way of delivering this story as an animal being bled out before meat processing.

[Диана · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book and a pretty insightful comment on motherhood, both from the eyes of the main character being a daughter and becoming a mother herself. The motive of acceptance is interesting. It created at amazing atmosphere of dread and...hope at the same time.

I loved the style choices - the fragmented storytelling which was smoothly becoming more and more coherent as the character was growing, the childhood stories and the therapy sessions.

I really like the bulgarian title and it makes me super curious how this book reads in bulgarian. I might have to reread it.

I'm not a mother and I don't have a history of domestic violence, but this book really moved me in an unexpected way, though I take it that it's not for everyone.

[Dean Eastgate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite being about the ripples of alcoholic abuse through a family and down generations, this ends up optimistic, and I bought the 'up' ending. I'm not Bulgarian, a woman, a parent, or the same age, but I've got a bit of that abuse in my family and this is the closest description I've read to what it feels like to be a kid in the middle of it. It seeps into you so you're grabbing at fleeting feelings as they metastatise through your body's tectonics. And ends up with me writing a non-glib review.

[Sean Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fragile and often sad autobiographical novel on the horrific effects of abuse and the trauma that accompanies it, Arrival is also a profound exploration of motherhood, relationships, identity, and the passing of time. Nataliya Deleva really effectively captures moments in place and gaps in time. It's quietly philosophical and beautifully tender.