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Paperback
First published July 7, 2016
It comforts me to think that most parents in most of time and most of the world have lived with this fear as a matter of course. It comforts me to think that while I have little fellowship in my fear with the parents at the school gate, the massed ghosts of England and the majority of parents living in the world now are with me. Although it turns out, of course, once people have a reason to tell you, that more of the school-gate parents than you used to imagine live in the overlap between ordinary life and tragedy.
A plan is a story about the future … a diagnosis is a story, brings a story’s promise of safe conduct through time and place to an anticipated ending.
You can’t go round not loving things because they’ll die.
May we forget. It is a pity that the things we learn in crisis are all to be found on fridge magnets and greetings cards: seize the day, savour the moment, tell your love—May we live long enough to despise the clichés again, may we heal enough to take for granted sky and water and light, because the state of blind gratitude for breath and blood is not a position of intelligence.



"We would, I did not say, probably have moved house, to get away from the emptiness of your bedroom or maybe been unable ever to move away from the place where you had lived. We would have had to go away, to take a year or six months and run away from all the places you had been and at the same time would have needed to stay where your feet had walked and your hands had touched, where your skin was only gradually departing from the dust and the marks of your grubby fingers were still imprinted on the paint under the light switch."
It is a pity that the things we learn in crisis are all to be found on fridge magnets and greeting cards: seize the day, savour the moment, tell your love- May we live long enough to despise the cliches again [...]