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On Getting Better
To talk about getting better - about wanting to change in ways that we might choose and prefer - is to talk about pursuing the life we want; in the full knowledge that our pictures of the life we want, of our version of a good life, come from or come out of what we have already experienced. (We write the sentences we write because of the sentences we have read.)How can we talk differently about how we might want to change, knowing that all change precipitates us into an uncertain future?In this companion book to On Wanting to Change, Adam Phillips explores how we might get better at talking about what it is to get better.
166 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 11, 2021
60 people are currently reading
548 people want to read
About the author
Adam Phillips
125 books662 followersAdam Phillips is a British psychotherapist and essayist.
Since 2003 he has been the general editor of the new Penguin Modern Classics translations of Sigmund Freud. He is also a regular contributor to the London Review of Books.
Phillips was born in Cardiff, Wales in 1954, the child of second-generation Polish Jews. He grew up as part of an extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins and describes his parents as "very consciously Jewish but not believing". As a child, his first interest was the study of tropical birds and it was not until adolescence that he developed an interest in literature. He went on to study English at St John's College, Oxford, graduating with a third class degree. His defining influences are literary – he was inspired to become a psychoanalyst after reading Carl Jung's autobiography and he has always believed psychoanalysis to be closer to poetry than medicine.
Adapted from Wikipedia.
Phillips is a regular contributor to the London Review of Books. He has been described by The Times as "the Martin Amis of British psychoanalysis" for his "brilliantly amusing and often profoundly unsettling" work; and by John Banville as "one of the finest prose stylists in the language, an Emerson of our time."
Since 2003 he has been the general editor of the new Penguin Modern Classics translations of Sigmund Freud. He is also a regular contributor to the London Review of Books.
Phillips was born in Cardiff, Wales in 1954, the child of second-generation Polish Jews. He grew up as part of an extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins and describes his parents as "very consciously Jewish but not believing". As a child, his first interest was the study of tropical birds and it was not until adolescence that he developed an interest in literature. He went on to study English at St John's College, Oxford, graduating with a third class degree. His defining influences are literary – he was inspired to become a psychoanalyst after reading Carl Jung's autobiography and he has always believed psychoanalysis to be closer to poetry than medicine.
Adapted from Wikipedia.
Phillips is a regular contributor to the London Review of Books. He has been described by The Times as "the Martin Amis of British psychoanalysis" for his "brilliantly amusing and often profoundly unsettling" work; and by John Banville as "one of the finest prose stylists in the language, an Emerson of our time."
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
January 6, 2025
Adam Philips kitaplarında ciddi yazım ve çeviri hatalarına rastlıyorum üst üste. Geçen aylarda Libido ile ilgili bir kitap yayınlamıştı Ayrıntı. Onda da ciddi çeviri sıkıntısı vardı. Güzel kitaplari kötü ceviriyle mahvediyor bu yayınevi. Ve gittim en az dört kitap daha sipariş verdim bu yayınevinden.
Okurken ciddi sıkıntı çekiyorum çeviri yüzünden.
Severek okuyacağım bir günde bitirebilecegim kitaplar elimde sürünüyor günlerdir. Philips'in Vazgeçmek Üzerine ve Değişmeyi İstemek Üzerine adlı kitaplari da Ocak ayı okuma listemde. Çeviri endişesi okuma isteğine ket vuruyor resmen.
Okurken ciddi sıkıntı çekiyorum çeviri yüzünden.
Severek okuyacağım bir günde bitirebilecegim kitaplar elimde sürünüyor günlerdir. Philips'in Vazgeçmek Üzerine ve Değişmeyi İstemek Üzerine adlı kitaplari da Ocak ayı okuma listemde. Çeviri endişesi okuma isteğine ket vuruyor resmen.
December 9, 2021
In a collection of deeply technical essays, practising psychoanalyst Adam Philips in "On Getting Better" deals with a variegated set of experiences relating to the quest for self-improvement. A child slowly but surely gets used to missing her mother and getting used to people who are for her "not-mothers" and in the process assimilates the experience of experiencing such interactions with and presence of not-mothers. This also paves the way for a severing of restricted family experiences and a totally new experience that has at its nub the outside world.
As Phillips reiterates, at times, the drive for self-improvement might itself be the problem. Phillips also reveals how a sense of reticence can be a masquerade for attention seeking. Drawing his readers attention to the work of Sigmund Freud, Phillips reproduces the observations of the founder of psychoanalysis: "I can only allow myself to realise I love performing and showing off by describing myself as very shy. I can only tell myself of my desire for someone by claiming that they are repulsive to me and of no interest whatsoever." The last observation is profoundly telling and one which we all would have experienced personally at some juncture or the other in life. A scorned and a jilted lover invariably tends to nurse an acerbic and adverse reaction/opinion towards his/her former object of attraction, or obsession even.
One of Sigmund Freud's foremost followers Alfred Adler interestingly stated that following psychoanalytical sessions with his patients, he would always pose this question to them: "What would you do if you were cured?" Upon receiving a response, Adler would exhort his patients to "well go and do it, then.' This illustrates that the cure proposed by psychoanalysis goes beyond the normal ken and confines of the expression using which the nature of 'cure' is understood. Adler's strategy (which consequently came to be known as existentialist psychoanalysis), aimed at the cure of an inhibition and not a disease. Hence psychoanalysis does not profess to offer a cure but provide a shield against indoctrination. This it does by facilitating an unbiased and clinical enquiry into the myriad of ways in which human beings influence and are influenced mutually, and how an individual shrugs away the cocoons of impediments that threaten to put paid to her possibilities for self-development and growth.
At times the concept of cure may be so vague as to evade the very purpose and objective for which it is sought. This is akin to many journeys undertaken by us in life. There are some journeys where the destination is apparent, while there are others where the terminus is indeterminate. There is also a third kind of journey where we need not know about the destination. Where we land up finally represents a variable that is immaterial. Psychoanalysts such as Wilfred Bion and Marion Milner, claimed that too definite and ascertainable destinations were themselves, 'saboteurs' of psychoanalytic treatment.
Phillips writes in a turning and twisting manner and brings a dialectical feel to the narration. This is a very essential feature considering the subjects dealt with by him in his capacity of a practising psychoanalyst- truth, boredom, excitement, unsatisfying pleasures, inhibitions, cure and care. Phillips has reiterated that, psychoanalysis “is a picture of a relationship, of sociability, in which there is no propaganda, indoctrination, coercion, submission, intimidation, authority or teaching”. And this is the keystone that threads throughout this engaging slim volume.
(On Getting Better by Adam Phillips is published by Picador Books and will be available for sale from the 4th of January, 2022)
Thank You Net Galley for the Advance Reviewer Copy
As Phillips reiterates, at times, the drive for self-improvement might itself be the problem. Phillips also reveals how a sense of reticence can be a masquerade for attention seeking. Drawing his readers attention to the work of Sigmund Freud, Phillips reproduces the observations of the founder of psychoanalysis: "I can only allow myself to realise I love performing and showing off by describing myself as very shy. I can only tell myself of my desire for someone by claiming that they are repulsive to me and of no interest whatsoever." The last observation is profoundly telling and one which we all would have experienced personally at some juncture or the other in life. A scorned and a jilted lover invariably tends to nurse an acerbic and adverse reaction/opinion towards his/her former object of attraction, or obsession even.
One of Sigmund Freud's foremost followers Alfred Adler interestingly stated that following psychoanalytical sessions with his patients, he would always pose this question to them: "What would you do if you were cured?" Upon receiving a response, Adler would exhort his patients to "well go and do it, then.' This illustrates that the cure proposed by psychoanalysis goes beyond the normal ken and confines of the expression using which the nature of 'cure' is understood. Adler's strategy (which consequently came to be known as existentialist psychoanalysis), aimed at the cure of an inhibition and not a disease. Hence psychoanalysis does not profess to offer a cure but provide a shield against indoctrination. This it does by facilitating an unbiased and clinical enquiry into the myriad of ways in which human beings influence and are influenced mutually, and how an individual shrugs away the cocoons of impediments that threaten to put paid to her possibilities for self-development and growth.
At times the concept of cure may be so vague as to evade the very purpose and objective for which it is sought. This is akin to many journeys undertaken by us in life. There are some journeys where the destination is apparent, while there are others where the terminus is indeterminate. There is also a third kind of journey where we need not know about the destination. Where we land up finally represents a variable that is immaterial. Psychoanalysts such as Wilfred Bion and Marion Milner, claimed that too definite and ascertainable destinations were themselves, 'saboteurs' of psychoanalytic treatment.
Phillips writes in a turning and twisting manner and brings a dialectical feel to the narration. This is a very essential feature considering the subjects dealt with by him in his capacity of a practising psychoanalyst- truth, boredom, excitement, unsatisfying pleasures, inhibitions, cure and care. Phillips has reiterated that, psychoanalysis “is a picture of a relationship, of sociability, in which there is no propaganda, indoctrination, coercion, submission, intimidation, authority or teaching”. And this is the keystone that threads throughout this engaging slim volume.
(On Getting Better by Adam Phillips is published by Picador Books and will be available for sale from the 4th of January, 2022)
Thank You Net Galley for the Advance Reviewer Copy
December 5, 2021
Take your time when you read this short book. Because it's worth it. It's going to be thought provoking as well as calming.
With references and parts in exploring, the book tries to explain what we could think about first when we think about getting ourselves better.
I feel this book series will be a little difficult to get into for young readers as well as for the beginners. However, if the reader is familiar with the concepts of Sigmund Freud and some such personalities mentioned in the book I feel it would a much easier read.
Take your time. Take your time to stop in between the pages and sentences. Take your time to reason and discuss while reading the book. It will be worth it.
Thank you, Farrar Straus and Giroux, for the advance reader copy.
With references and parts in exploring, the book tries to explain what we could think about first when we think about getting ourselves better.
I feel this book series will be a little difficult to get into for young readers as well as for the beginners. However, if the reader is familiar with the concepts of Sigmund Freud and some such personalities mentioned in the book I feel it would a much easier read.
Take your time. Take your time to stop in between the pages and sentences. Take your time to reason and discuss while reading the book. It will be worth it.
Thank you, Farrar Straus and Giroux, for the advance reader copy.
February 9, 2025
ben bu kitabı çok uzun sürede okudum kısa olmasına rağmen, büyük ihtimal bundan dolayı istediğim verimi alamadım. ilk bölümleri biraz daha işin uygulayacılarına yönelik gibiydi, ondan da sanırım biraz yavaş okumuş oldum. velhasıl güzel bir kitap, belki bir beş yıl sonra tekrar okurum gibi
March 9, 2025
Adam Phillips kitaplarının çevirisi mi yoksa anlatımı mı sorunlu tam kesitiremiyorum. Herşeye rağmen ufkum açıldı ama yutkuna yutkuna okuyabildim
November 9, 2022
This seemed like a partial return to form for Phillips, at least in my reading. I can’t help thinking that the last essay in the collection - on William James’ notion of belief - would have been better if placed in the other, ‘companion’ book, as there seemed a kind of fundamental break between that one and what had come before in this collection. But at least it gave me an opportunity for comparison, and more specifically comparing what I liked about the essays that came before it with what made me suspicious of this last one.
I now think (although I am relying on memory here, so I am open to the possibility that this is a misreading) the issue I had with “On Wanting to Change” was that the essays there seemed to hold a hidden dogmatism that I was disappointed to find in Phillips. It seemed to make good on his comment somewhere that the only thing a non-essentialist can convert us to is non-essentialism, but in a way that made non-essentialism too definitely positive for my taste. Talk of conversion seems to lend itself rather too easily to demands for conversion, even if that conversion is aimed in a direction away from the notion of conversion. And the claim that an idea or attitude is dangerous, or self-limiting, struck me as being uncharacteristically, and disappointingly, didactic. I may share Phillips’ preference for Socrates over Jesus (though the positing of the choice is itself an odd one), but I am endlessly fascinated in the people who believe in Jesus precisely because I can’t quite seem to wrap my head around it - they see something there that I cannot. And I would never want to make any claims on the possibilities one gives over the other, or the life each figure offers.
For whatever reason, this disappointment didn’t arise while reading the opening essay on the idea of a cure in psychoanalysis - it seems like a liberating thing to suggest that psychoanalysis might be a kind of practice that cures people of the need to be cured. Or in the discussion of truth and the unconscious. There seems to be a structural similarity here, but also an emotional distance that I find hard to explain.
I would absolutely recommend reading both books, however, if Phillips’ voice is one that resonates with you. I just found this collection to be more appealing (on the whole) than the last one.
I now think (although I am relying on memory here, so I am open to the possibility that this is a misreading) the issue I had with “On Wanting to Change” was that the essays there seemed to hold a hidden dogmatism that I was disappointed to find in Phillips. It seemed to make good on his comment somewhere that the only thing a non-essentialist can convert us to is non-essentialism, but in a way that made non-essentialism too definitely positive for my taste. Talk of conversion seems to lend itself rather too easily to demands for conversion, even if that conversion is aimed in a direction away from the notion of conversion. And the claim that an idea or attitude is dangerous, or self-limiting, struck me as being uncharacteristically, and disappointingly, didactic. I may share Phillips’ preference for Socrates over Jesus (though the positing of the choice is itself an odd one), but I am endlessly fascinated in the people who believe in Jesus precisely because I can’t quite seem to wrap my head around it - they see something there that I cannot. And I would never want to make any claims on the possibilities one gives over the other, or the life each figure offers.
For whatever reason, this disappointment didn’t arise while reading the opening essay on the idea of a cure in psychoanalysis - it seems like a liberating thing to suggest that psychoanalysis might be a kind of practice that cures people of the need to be cured. Or in the discussion of truth and the unconscious. There seems to be a structural similarity here, but also an emotional distance that I find hard to explain.
I would absolutely recommend reading both books, however, if Phillips’ voice is one that resonates with you. I just found this collection to be more appealing (on the whole) than the last one.
April 19, 2025
Çeviriyi başarılı bulmadım, metni çok zorlaştırmış ve hatta belirli yerlerde anlamsız.
Yazar her zamanki gibi beyin yakıcı 🧠
Yazar her zamanki gibi beyin yakıcı 🧠
April 18, 2025
Discursive Philosophy of Psychoanalysis
Phillips is difficult. His slim books are essay collections that intimate a larger theory of the case warranting tomes. But true to his psychoanalytic background, he is careful not to circumscribe subjects totally. Knowing oneself can never be completed. There is no complete philosophy. There are different ways of talking. Different language games to play. Different seasons for different moods and descriptions and redescriptions. And the process will never end. We are always already talking through our issues. And thus there can be no complete theory of psychoanalysis.
Phillips uses the philosophical approach of American Pragmatism to question the "truths" and language games we have tied ourselves up with. So On Getting Better is not a political, religious, or philosophical tract on how to actually get better. It is a questioning of what we mean by better and whether getting "better" would just deliver into our next dilemma. At the same time, Phillips recognizes a human tendency to progress and change. And so there is some way of more loosely aiming at getting better which can acknowledge limitations and reorient ourselves toward realistic expectations and generative framings rather than closed conversions and final solutions.
Phillips is difficult. His slim books are essay collections that intimate a larger theory of the case warranting tomes. But true to his psychoanalytic background, he is careful not to circumscribe subjects totally. Knowing oneself can never be completed. There is no complete philosophy. There are different ways of talking. Different language games to play. Different seasons for different moods and descriptions and redescriptions. And the process will never end. We are always already talking through our issues. And thus there can be no complete theory of psychoanalysis.
Phillips uses the philosophical approach of American Pragmatism to question the "truths" and language games we have tied ourselves up with. So On Getting Better is not a political, religious, or philosophical tract on how to actually get better. It is a questioning of what we mean by better and whether getting "better" would just deliver into our next dilemma. At the same time, Phillips recognizes a human tendency to progress and change. And so there is some way of more loosely aiming at getting better which can acknowledge limitations and reorient ourselves toward realistic expectations and generative framings rather than closed conversions and final solutions.
July 27, 2022
I love authors who read extensively and intensively before they write, and Adam Phillips strikes me as Freud's excellent interpreter. The questions he raises about who we are and what we are here for are great food for thought.
Here are some caveats: 1. Though through religious history an overwhelming emphasis was laid on the image of a tyrannical rule of god(s), biblical tradition undoubtedly also has the image of a Servant God. 2. Darwinism might not solely be about an evolution based on survival and procreation; Richard O. Prum's The Evolution of Beauty (2017) shows another, independent, branch: the presence of beauty as a driving force (which did not go unrecognized by Darwin).
As an avid reader of Phillips, I'm intrigued by the author's early interest in Jung that he soon seems to have completely lost.
Here are some caveats: 1. Though through religious history an overwhelming emphasis was laid on the image of a tyrannical rule of god(s), biblical tradition undoubtedly also has the image of a Servant God. 2. Darwinism might not solely be about an evolution based on survival and procreation; Richard O. Prum's The Evolution of Beauty (2017) shows another, independent, branch: the presence of beauty as a driving force (which did not go unrecognized by Darwin).
As an avid reader of Phillips, I'm intrigued by the author's early interest in Jung that he soon seems to have completely lost.
December 6, 2022
In characteristic fashion, Adam Phillips asks you a bunch of questions you might not otherwise have thought of. Also in characteristic fashion, the topic is one we tell ourselves we're familiar with.
On Getting Better isn't here to answer your questions about getting better.
Phillips takes us on an exploration of what it is we mean, or think we mean, when we say we want to get better.
What we think we know about change, the future, and who knows best, will be questioned, as they should be, but this isn't just scrutiny or skepticism, it is exploration. And another word, possibly, for exploration is adventure.
On Getting Better isn't here to answer your questions about getting better.
Phillips takes us on an exploration of what it is we mean, or think we mean, when we say we want to get better.
What we think we know about change, the future, and who knows best, will be questioned, as they should be, but this isn't just scrutiny or skepticism, it is exploration. And another word, possibly, for exploration is adventure.
April 3, 2022
Phillips does here what he does so well in most of his books: digesting and communicating psychoanalytic concepts from Freud (with a bit of Winnicott thrown into the mix) this time on topic of how we might change towards pursuing the life we want. Stronger on theory than practical advice, it is still provocative on how we might get better at talking about getting better. Naturally it is full of aphorisms that demand deeper reflection; to wit: “We change because we have been wrong about our pleasure” yet “all change is catastrophic change” (p. 47).
February 24, 2024
A democratizer of psychoanalysis, the best part of Phillips' writing is his ability to articulate some of the questions that make psychoanalysis relatable to and relevant for those of us uninstructed in the canon. On Getting Better is mostly a collection of provocations, meticulously built, humbly posed, but powerful in their simplicity. Equal parts self help and literary analysis. Favorite part P's take on William James, especially views on conversion. A little repetitive, or maybe it only seems so to me after reading some of his other titles recently.
June 8, 2025
With the past few of Phillips's books, I've had a similar sequence of thoughts. 1) Was he always this repetitive? 2) The topics feel like they're spinning into ever tightening circles. 3) Oh shit, that part was actually brilliant, and I'll probably remember it for the rest of my life.
It's not accurate to compare the experience of reading this book to finding needles in a haystack. Perhaps more like finding some true gems in an overstuffed bookshop.
It's not accurate to compare the experience of reading this book to finding needles in a haystack. Perhaps more like finding some true gems in an overstuffed bookshop.
April 2, 2025
I am struggling with this book because I’m not sure if I’m so conditioned to have information delivered in short easy to read paragraphs and concise bullet points especially when it comes to the topic of self improvement, that having to slog through and understand Adam Phillips’ is now difficult for me or whether it is just poorly written or overtly esoteric and philosophical.
December 29, 2021
Thanks to Netgalley and FSG for the ebook. The author explores, once again through writing through the ages, in particular Freud and William James, how we go about changing ourselves so that we might have a chance at living a better life.
January 16, 2022
A tough read, but rewarding.
March 17, 2022
Another virtuoso performance. Adams never disappoints with his deep interrogations, curiosity and athleticism of mind.
October 31, 2022
Greater the expectation larger the disappointment. Phillips usually writes for us the people, but this book felt like it changed the audience to the analyst and became confusing for me.
November 15, 2022
Could he get any better?
April 16, 2023
should have checked that this was about psychoanalysis beforehand
Read
June 21, 2024Starts strong, gets wooly and disjointed later.
August 8, 2024
Not a self help book as much as a psychiatric examination of what it might mean to be better, and how one might achieve being better, which was uh, helpful.
Read
April 19, 2025Wasn't able to enjoy this one as much as his other works. Perhaps because it was more psychoanalytical, but also it felt less coherent and constantly getting away from the main theme.
July 20, 2025
'S caomh leam an às-earrann bho William James -- fiù 's anns na revolutions as motha, bidh tòrr dhe na bunaidean fhathast nan seasamh
August 2, 2025
Adam Phillips books are those which you come back from time to time! leave them around, always
May 2, 2024
Adam Phillips shares his musings on the philosophies underpining the idea of psychotherapy. He touches on ideas of what pleasure is, how some pleasures are thought to be satisfying and some not satisfying, and how the ideas behind pleasure were influenced by religions and cultural beliefs of the past. He talks about other big concepts like what a good life is and what truth is, and he shows how psychotherapists use these big concepts in their work with people.
May 19, 2025
Bu serideki kitapların çevirilerinde ciddi sorun var. Türkçe yazım, imla ve noktalamayı geçtim doğru kavramların doğru terimlerle anlatılmadığını, çevirmenin de konuya hakimiyet kuramadığını anlıyorsunuz. Zihinsel soyutlaştırma ve düşünce sentezleme mümkün olmuyor. Buradaki en önemli sorun ise editörün elinden böyle bir kitabın nasıl geçtiği. Diğer yayınevlerinden çıkan Adam Philips kitaplarını deneyeceğim. Kitabı toparlar mı diye sonuna kadar okudum, kesinlikle vakit kaybetmemenizi ve kitabı orijinalinden okumanızı öneriyorum. Yayınevinin baskıyı sonlandırması en güzeli olur.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews