This is What I Did:

by Ann Dee Ellis

Imagine if you had witnessed something horrific.
Imagine if it had happened to your friend.
And imagine if you hadn't done anything to help.

That's what it's like to be Logan, an utterly frank, slightly awkward, and extremely loveable outcast enmeshed in a mysterious psychological drama. This story allows readers to piece together the sequence of events that has changed his life and changed his perspective on what it means to be a good friend and what it means to be a good person.

This is What I is a powerful read with clever touches, such as palindrome notes, strewn throughout the story and incorporated into the unique design of the book.

Genres: Young Adult, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Abuse, Contemporary, Middle Grade, Friendship

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Ann Dee (pronounced "Andy") Ellis received an MA from Brigham Young University, where she now works as an instructor for creative writing for children and young adults. She lives in Utah with her husband and two young sons.

Reviews

[L A i N E Y (will be back) · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a unique book. Original take on abuse for a middle grade book, I don’t think I came across one that deals with this exact situation before. And with realistic/believable response from a character too.

[Steven · Rating 5 out of 5]

My experience as a parent definitely colors my opinion of "This is what I did." The book is written from the perspective of a 13-year-old boy in his words. The style is intriguing and often humorous. He writes it as a way to come to terms with an experience that has left him numb and inactive. Naturally, it takes a while for him to come to the point. What I found interesting is his inability to integrate socially. I'm not sure the author intended it this way, but to me he seems to have Asperger's Syndrome, with all of the intellect and social miscues that come with it. It fits with the author's theme of the inability to act when action is required.

Logan documents his inability to fit in early in his life. His only friend is also a misfit, but of a different type. Zyler comes from an abusive home and others are wary of him because of it, but Logan doesn't recognize that. To him, Zyler is cool because of his rude shirts and his ability to run fast. As they grow, they learn to accept and overlook each other's shortcomings, and Logan learns some of the social skills necessary to function at school. If he is not totally accepted, at least he is not totally rejected either. Through this his parents are oblivious to his differences and struggles until it becomes too obvious. It was very easy for me to sympathize their struggle to give their son the help he needs. However, while I can understand his confusion in social situations, the feelings of being overwhelmed by emotions and unfamiliar and confusing situations, Logan's parents were both popular at school and seemed to swim the social currents without effort. They wouldn't be able to understand the awkwardness, the abandonment of peers, the pain of being left or even attacked when all he was doing was trying to get by.

Laural is the first person in Logan's life who seems to understand him. It's not because she has some insight, or really not because she actually understands him. Rather, she is very much like him. Her actions and mannerisms put her in the same untouchable social sphere where Logan resides, and her persecutions are similar. But rather than acting too little, she acts too much, which marks her as a "freak" rather than a "moron." (If you want a literary exercise, compare/contrast Laural to Star Girl. Why is each the way she is. What makes them different.) But this gives them balance when they are together. This balance is marked by their palindrome conversations, which are central in symbolizing the contrasts in the story.

"This is what I did" is sweet in its innocence and harsh in its cruelty. The manipulators are as cunning as the manipulated oblivious. Yet when it comes down to it, we are all swimming the same stream. But we don't have the same challenges. While we might all get dunked occasionally, some get dunked more often and don't have the skills or strength of others. But sometimes, those who struggle the most are the ones who understand the best . . . without knowing it. That happens for Logan near the climax of the book, in a small way, with many others standing around.

"This is what I did" is a great book for looking at the world through another's eyes. Especially through the eyes of those who are bullied or ignored. In that way it could make a wonderful book for middle-aged readers. However, it is very dark and disturbing in places, and it is quite negative throughout. But Logan's ability to rise above the negativity and abuse leaves you feeling a hope for him. For me, it was helpful to have the reminder that somebody with Asperger's syndrome can have a fairly normal life. It's gaining acceptance from those around him that is the difficult part.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just 3.5 stars, rightly rounded up

Despite the slightly poor title, this is a sad, moving and profound but totally unpretentious book. Violence (especially inflicted by parents to children) and attempted sexual assault are referenced, but are given a delicate, sensitive treatment that is not at all graphic but also don't shy away from the horror. This is a difficult balance but Ellis strikes it perfectly.

Logan's silence is amazingly written; like Melinda Sordino in Speak, it never becomes repetitive or irritating. Male POV is also extremely difficult to get right; you only need to look as far as recent hit Forbidden for an attempt at a suffering male protaganist which instead comes off as contrived and totally unrealistic. Ellis has an outstanding ear for the pain of young people. Logan has no pretentious musings, and although the verse/screenplay format might irritate some people (I thought it would irritate me), it never does. It perfectly captures the innocence, loneliness, emptiness and repression of Logan's character. The only girl who will talk to him, Laurel, is a superb secondary character. Obsessed with palindromes and not put off by the rumours that are circulating the school about Logan, she's sweet, funny, patient and believable - the perfect match for Logan. I loved the additional details about Laurel's painting of "an ostrich running through New York" and her insistence that it was "symbolic."

Other brilliant supporting characters include both of Logan's parents. They're far from perfect, and Logan recognises this, but I just loved the relationship between all three of them -- it's a cliche to have parents with a struggling marriage, so I liked that both of them were pretty happy. And although Logan likes to put up the front of apathy towards his parents, his determination to continue in Scouts to act like nothing was wrong just made me love him and his parents -- it really showed their selfless bond. Some of the things his parents did seemed downright wrong to me (like their determination to keep talking to Bruce's parents about Logan's private stuff) but Ellis manages surprisingly well developed parents: they have reasons for what they do, justifications and humanity. They're just trying to do their best in a very difficult situation, and that is so unusual for any YA/MG writer to acknowledge.

Also: Logan has body issues. This sounds odd as "body issues" are something we stereotypically associate with teen/tween girls. But Ellis does it perfectly, never overdoing but giving the reader a perfect sense of Logan's discomfort and embarrassment. In fact, a lot of the "issues" in this book - child abuse, violence, body problems, absent/clueless parents, bullying, isolation - might seem cliched or typical. They never are. I don't know why, exactly, but I could sympathise immensely with Logan when he didn't want to go on the Scouts trip. Through his stream of consciousness narrative, without never "telling" us Logan's feelings, Ellis manages to get under your skin with them; some people might call Logan an idiot for getting back into his sleeping bag after Bruce et al. were blatantly out to get him, but Ellis seemed to understand perfectly Logan's desire for things to be different. As you might have got from the rest of the review, I adored Logan's character. He was loveable and heartbreakingly sympathetic, but also had an undertone of darkness and melancholy that made me wonder what the hell his mysterious secret was, and also made me wonder if he and Zyler were capable of something really bad.

So why didn't it get to 4 or 5 stars? Several reasons, all of them pretty minor. The book has a much weaker third act; I understood Ellis's difficulty with the act -- she seemed to struggle to get the balance between "bitter" and "sweet" in "bittersweet" right; how much is an overly pessimistic ending, how much is not optimistic enough? I desperately wanted Logan to have a happy ending, but the part with their drama teacher passing out and needing Logan's help just felt a little contrived and convenient. But the overt contrivance that knocked this book down from a solid four-star rating was, for me, the twist that Bruce's father was also abusive. Well, we're not exactly told if he's the most abusive monster like Zyler's father, but he does hit Bruce -- leading to a slightly strange scene where Logan tells him to stop -- obviously showing Logan developing a voice of his own, but also seeming unrealistic and too fairytale for this otherwise very realistic novel. Finally, I can't help it - the final reveal was a little weak for me. I wanted Logan to be just a little more culpable; while I could understand why he felt guilty, the reveal scene just didn't have the gut punch for me that I was expecting.

Still, a very good book dealing with some very difficult subjects.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed by Sally Kruger, aka "Readingjunky" for TeensReadToo.com

Zyler is gone. Logan is drowning in guilt. Will an attempt to make a new start really work?

Logan is a different kid. He has twin younger brothers whose lives revolve around sports. His dad cares, but he's busy. His mother is pregnant, something he'd rather not think too much about. They care, but they don't know what to do to help him.

Not a kid with lots of friends, Logan seems to manage to participate in life at a normal level. Boy Scouts offers him a chance to mingle with other boys his age, but most of them are bullies who use him for target practice. He does fairly well in school and is gutsy enough to try out for the school play and nail the greatest on-stage fight scene they've ever seen. He has friends (or at least acquaintances) that surround him and fill his life, but none like Zyler.

Zyler and Logan had a special friendship. They rode bikes together, did projects together, heck, even liked the same girl together. They knew each others' strengths and weaknesses. Logan even knew how Zyler's father treated his son, but respected Zyler's need for privacy.

Once again, Zyler is now gone, and Logan's family has chosen to move a short distance away to give Logan a fresh start. Hopefully a new school, new friends, and new activities will allow him to forget that night. Unfortunately, the guilt moved right along with Logan.

Ann Dee Ellis uses a unique style of prose to take readers into the mind of Logan Paloney. There is a bit of a wait for readers to discover the exact cause of Logan's oppressive guilt, but the journey is worth the effort. This disturbing story makes one wonder about the personal and private worlds of those around us. Logan's actions could have changed the outcome of events in one person's world, but is that a risk just anyone is willing to take?

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another story about some horrific teen episode (and I don't mean to sound jaded, because there's enough horrific crap out there happening to teens and everyone else.)

Usually I feel like I've been blessed by GMBA nominees... this one was a skimmer. The best part being the last 4 or 5 pages (and I'm not being snide, really.)

[Janessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently read Anne Bronte’s The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, and although I enjoyed this atypical Victorian novel for several reasons, I was absolutely arrested by a few lines Bronte addresses to her readers in her preface to the second edition of the book. It seems that the first edition was met with some criticism because of her portrayal of a woman trapped in a loveless and abusive marriage. In choosing this subject matter, Bronte was exposing a hidden struggle that society was not ready to see or accept. Here is what she answers to her critics: “My object in writing the following pages, was not simply to amuse the Reader, neither was it to gratify my own taste, nor yet to ingratiate myself with the Press and the Public: I wished to tell the truth.” And then comes the line I circled and marked with two red stars: “I would rather whisper a few wholesome truths . . . than much soft nonsense.”

I read those words and immediately thought of a contemporary writer whose work I enjoy and admire: Ann Dee Ellis. I love her books because she never turns her readers or her characters away from truth, even if it means encountering some of life’s unrelenting sharpness. She is not afraid to show us the hidden things. And in doing so she gives us characters who are sweet, troubled, resilient, and real.
When I finished Ellis’ first book, Everything is Fine, I tried reading it out loud to my husband. I got through the first line before he begged me to stop. “That is too painful,” he said. He wasn’t referring to the kick to the groin (you’ll see when you read it) but to the situation: bullying. As a survivor of male adolescence, I think it felt just a little bit too real to him. It told the truth. After I read it I wanted to show it to everyone I knew. ‘Look at this,’ I wanted to say, ‘look at what happens.’ Not in the book, but to us. All the time. Everyday.

And the bullying isn’t confined to the teenagers in the novel. It occurs among adults, between adults and children. It is condoned. At times encouraged. In the midst of it all is Logan, the protagonist. He is both a witness of it and a victim. His own challenge in the book is to tell the truth about what he sees and experiences, and his own resulting actions. There is trauma, there is suffering, there is pain. But there is also hope, and friendship, and overcoming. It is incredibly rewarding as a reader to see Logan come to terms with what happens in the book and move forward. He can’t do it alone. His friendship with the quirky but confident Laurel comes at the perfect time in his life, while his parents wait on the wings to help when they can in an honest, caring way. What Ellis gives us is real. It is life. It is truth.

[Caroline Heeb Hicks · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as favor for the Librarian. She is trying to decide if her 12-15 year old book club should read it next month. So I read it one night in a couple hours. It definitely kept my attention and was an interesting read. I decided it's hard to formulate 2 opinions while reading a book- one for a young book club and one for yourself.

For the 12-15 year old age group I felt like it was kind of too much. I didn't feel like the inner turmoil that Logan was dealing with was really resolved well enough to see that problems kids face can be overcome. I felt like there was a lot of intense emotional relationships with the adults that were part of Logan's life. A lot of the story is about what Logan is thinking and next what his relationships are like with his parents, scout leader, counselor and Zyler's dad. Then there are his peers and so many of the relationships with his peers are negative that overall I just feel like emotionally this book is too intense for 12-15 year olds. There are probably some older ones that would be fine reading it but when I think about Charity or some of these activity day girls just going into young womens, I just don't think they need to ponder on so much struggle that this 8th grade boy is going through. Maybe it's different for 12 or 13 year old boys, but I'm not around boys that age enough to know. I feel like this story has a little too much truth to it and what kids go through these days but without the positive resolve needed to inspire and uplift in the end. I did like the writing style, not for myself, but for a tween because his thoughts are choppy and shifty and I think that's how their world is. I liked that she did use real life situations that some kids can probably relate to and could appreciate reading because they would feel like someone else out there understands, but again, not enough positive resolve in the end.

As for my own opinion of the book, it was too choppy of a read for my taste. It made me wonder if I would let Dallen read a book like this down the road...? I felt for Logan's parents and the hard time they were having figuring out what to do with him. But then again their relationship as husband and wife made me feel pensive about how children perceive adult relationships. Jack the scout leader just made me sick because it was more of a suprise then Zyler's dad. And I didn't know what to think of Laurel. Just such interesting characters and none that felt really positive or supportive. Logan had a realistic reaction to the whole abuse/almost rape scene, but I don't care to read about those types of realities. I would rather he turn into a hero and a least somewhat and solve the problem. But that's just my literature preference. So overall 2 stars.

[Joey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Logan and Zyler are best friends; they bike together, they walk together and they admire Cami Wakefield together. All they really have is each other. When Logan is suspicious of Zyler and Cami one night, he witnesses a terror. A terror so horrific that Logan altogether just stops. He stops talking, he doesn't come out of his room, he's just so speechless. To make it worse, Zyler disappears and so does Cami. After Logan tries to have a new start, he copes with the bullies and tries to keep a conversation of palindromes with Laurel.

I picked this book up because it the summary was very interesting and the book was pretty short.

I finished this book because the one part I wanted to know was in the end.

To be honest, I expected a lot more from this book. It was painstakingly slow, and with the way it was written, sometimes confusing. I liked Ellis' style of writing though, it was unique but if she had done it in a way where I wasn't confused every other paragraph, maybe I would've given it more praise. I felt very rushed when I finally got to the end. It was really slow and finally when the good part comes, it ends.

I would recommend this book to no one, I find it a bit irrelevant to everyone I know and it's an okay book , so I wouldn't want to put people through this.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

After the thing with Zyler, I was alone and I wouldn't leave my room.
And.
I.
Was.
Sad."

Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Stare.
Stare.
Stare.
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them: WELL!? Was This Is What I Did good or not?
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me: It was really good.
And then I left.

"Dad got a raise.
He's happy.
Mom's happy.
Mack and Ryan are happy.
Mom says the baby in her stomach is happy.
And I don't care really."

[Joanna]

Three reasons I loved this book: (1) Excellent use of silence--it's like Pinter for the younger set. (2) The colon at the end of the title, particularly when paired with: (3) One of my favorite book covers of the year; not only is it eye-catching in its starkness, it also represents the story more than most covers manage to do, particularly in YA lit.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was soooo good!
I cant even explain it.
I just know that whoever reads this should read it and they beter like it:)
but seriously it was a really great book
It made me sad at times because of the way they treated him and stuff and they thought they knew his story but they didnt.
this will make no sense to someone who hasn't read it so...
GO READ IT!!!

[Bětka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Co víc říct? Tohle si prostě pozornost zaslouží!

http://listarna.blogspot.cz/2013/07/s...

[mallory ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

i have. so many thoughts on this book?

#1: the writing style. it’s a very short story and it’s a mix of like a playwright and diary entry, it’s basically the mind of the main character. at some points it’s like i’m reading an awful wattpad story, but then i remember that’s how it’s supposed to be written tbh: its how he thinks. i almost didn’t read it when i saw how it was formatted but i’m glad i gave it a chance cause honestly id read a story w this style again. it helps with the telling of the story a lot, it also helps to enhance all of the characters in ways i haven’t entirely seen before (although, this is strictly through logan’s eyes) my biggest writing complaint is the usage of capitals to display yelling. if you know me you know i despise that

#2: the depiction of depression/anxiety. it was very very very good (at least from my experience i felt very seen) and i think the main character, logan, is a very realistic character and i think pretty much anyone who’s experienced such heavy anxiety would really connect with him and his way of words

#3: the actual plot. the ‘secret’ of what happened was all revealed at once and just so very suddenly and i didn’t like that. for majority of the story you had to piece together the important factors in what made logan move, caused his depression, why zyler (his best friend) disappeared, etc. it kept me so invested but honestly the major conflict was just so?? i’m so confused on how the rumors against logan came to be? it didn’t add up but maybe i’m dense idk. that ruined the whole climax for me

#4: the depiction of therapy. no logan your therapist didn’t go to your school play. can they even have an outside relationship with you?? and no your therapist can’t just get new information on zyler and give that to you there HAS to be a legal issue here. i was impressed with how realistic the story was until the therapist actually played a major part in the stories ending idrk.

#5. the depiction of bullying. i know it’s fairly realistic but the way that logan is bullied in his new town is just so cliche and i promise that they’re not going through the alphabet finding new ways to call you a shithead in front of ur face like its 2024😭 (idk when this was published sorry) and if they are that’s so embarrassing. so so so cliche the bullies never got any redemption or karma besides one dad almost beating his kid up which ended up just being a character development arc for logan like???? okay

#6. the arc of ‘why didn’t i do anything to help’. the main character has horrid anxiety. he’s 13. it’s natural to freeze up in such high tense situations. (not even for teens like him but for anybody!!) logan’s only notable character development shouldn’t have been learning to stand up for situations he’s not really a part of idk it’s just such a bad message. i get like being him learning to be a better person but the way it was written was just so… not it! quite invalidating i fear.

overall it wasn’t THAT bad (hence the 3 stars). it kept me invested and i genuinely enjoyed reading it but again sometimes it was just like reading something that ilovedracomalfoy38 posted on fanfiction.net for fun rather than a real published book you know? also the author is mormon apparently and joseph smith had to have been a bit disappointed in her when this got published.

stream everybody’s worried about owen

edit: i read some more reviews i changed it to 2 stars this book really is pretty awful. the depiction of abuse does kind of suck and it doesn’t tell a true takeaway i finished this book the same person as i was before i read it but just a little more annoyed and tired. read fahrenheit 451 for a better experience

[Ryleigh Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was an easy read book. I liked it because when you need to read a book but you have to finish it by a certain time and your not sure you will be able to then you can pick up this book and read it quickly. this book was about a boy named Logan, and it was pretty much told from him. pretty much he witnessed something horrific but it doesn't really tell you what happened until towards the end, so if you really want to find out what happens you have to keep reading to find out.

[m]

i read this when i was like 11 or 12? i need to reread it i remember it having a rly strong effect on me back then it stuck with me for all of sixth grade

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bullies scare me. Not bullies in real life, but bullies that my children will meet in life. I don't think I was properly prepared to face bullies because no mother wants to think that their child is being bullied OR that their child is a bully.

Here's my grand plan: Make sure my kids have a few good friends. And then teach my kids and their friends to look out for each other and other loners. They don't have to make sure that everyone joins their group, but if they see a child being singled out, they should go over and punch the bully in the face. I would have NO PROBLEMS with this. At all. Because I read a report that said that really nothing has an effect on bullies except someone ELSE standing up to them and telling them that what they do is not cool. I want my kid to be the one suspended from school for punching out the school bully. And I want all his friends backing him up on this. The other mothers won't mind as long as I tell them that my kid will take all the heat for it. I just really worry about my kids in school.

Well, anyway, this book was written by a BYU alum and is very good. A sensitive topic explored very well. The idea that children really do love their parents, no matter what. It's really sad and happy to know this fact. Very creative writing, very easy to follow and yet it jumps back and forth from past and present so that it keeps you on your toes.

A quick afternoon read. You won't waste too much time on it, but you won't leave feeling upset or dissatisfied.

[Kenya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was really good and i enjoyed it. " This is What i Did" was about this boy named Logan and he was a troubled little boy from his old school because of rumors and being picked on by other kids. His parents decided to move to start a better life and make everything good for him, but Logan was still the quiet and lonesome boy in his neighborhood and in school. Towards the end of the book, he had to go visit a therapist which helps him open up more. He was able to tell one of his good friends, Laurel what happened and why he was always the weird kid and it was because children thought he was a molestor, but it really was his best friend, Zyler's dad who molested a young girl that they all knew and they both liked this girl but Zyler had his first kiss with her. Zyler's dad was very abusive and Zyler could not take it anymore so he killed him, while Logan was watching the whole scene. Logan was stuck in the middle of everything and did not know whether to help his friend r go home so that scarred him for life causing him to be very independent. At the end, he was able to come out of his shell and believe in himself. This was a good book and i loved the ending. It gave so much details because at first i thought it was boring because i did not know what it was about until i continued reading and digging deeper for evidence to help me uncover the polt of this book. Overall it was a good book.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Logan is a teenage kid whose family just moved. The book is written is short snippets that jump from event to event, often going back to his life in their old home. The whole time, we know that something has gone wrong, and that the family moved because of something that Logan did, or something that happened to him. Before the family moved in, Logan's mom had called all their neighbors to introduce their family and to explain Logan's situation. The mom's bit of information gets overheard by students at Logan's new school, and before he even gets there, kids hate him. This event in Logan's life was very traumatizing to the point that Logan won't talk much. When kids make fun of him, he just takes it, no matter how bad the teasing gets. Throughout the course of the book, you get to see Logan's healing process as he comes to terms with what happened.

This book deals with some serious issues that happen more than we think. The first 2/3 of the book were agonizing, watching Logan getting teased, and hearing about his friend's abusive father. I really did appreciate how the author showed us Logan's healing process. It's amazing how making a friend and talking things out can make such a difference to people in these kinds of situations. I really liked the end when Logan is able to stand up for someone that he doesn't like to protect them from being innocently hurt. This book was fantastic and taught a lot of good principles and gave hope for those in similar situations.

[Stephen Gallup · Rating 5 out of 5]

I suspect the author of this first-rate YA novel either has experience as the parent of a withdrawn, uncommunicative teenager or perhaps remembers being one herself. It’s written very much from inside the head of such a character, complete with gimmicks that no doubt appeal to the young, but with a sensitivity that make it one of the more powerful novels I’ve read in a while.

Logan is a kid with a problem and well-meaning parents who are mostly unable to help him -- on his mother’s side because she tries so hard that she makes things worse and on his father’s side simply because information is not being shared. The exact nature of the problem is withheld for most of the book in a way that reminds me of how Catch-22 continuously alluded to but avoided explaining the event that so disturbed that character.

Hoping to put some distance between Logan and his history, the family has moved to a new neighborhood. However, the narrative of what happened there is so intimately intermingled with what occurs in his new setting that I, at least, did not get the two sorted out until the very end. On the way to that hopeful conclusion, I felt increasingly anxious, impotent, and especially angry -- make that furious -- just as Logan must have felt. This is really extremely well done!

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can see why this book made the short list for the ALA Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Readers. The story is captivating, the characters are endearing and the writing style is amazing. It's a short book (just 176 pages) with a lot of power to it.

Logan is trying to keep it together after witnessing a horrible crime, but that's not easy when he's being bullied at school, judged poorly by adults and watching his parents fall apart. And he really doesn't want to talk about it--especially to the councilor his mom tricked him into seeing. But maybe, just maybe, with the help of some people who truly care about him and a whole lot of inner strength, Logan will be able to get through this.

Written in a free-verse, stream of consciousness style, Ann Dee Ellis truly allows you to see into Logan's mind. Even the format of the book is eye-catching: with no chapters, the sections are divided by graphics that give you clues as to what will happen next. Some palindrome notes between Logan and a girl at school also give lightness to a pretty heavy tale.

This was a quick, creative book that kept me reading with anticipation to the last page and wanting more even days after finishing the book.

[melissa1lbr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Things I Liked:
This is a short book that really packed a punch. Ellis' style of short sentences and simple prose allows the real power of the story to stand out. We begin to feel sorry for Logan, at the same time that he is beating himself up over what he didn't do. It really brought out the power that psychological stress can play on a person's mind and actions. I love how Logan changes over the course of the story and the hopeful ending that it allowed.

Things I Didn't Like:
I admit that at times I thought it was a little to simplistic. I don't think I understood or "got" all the things Ellis might have been trying to portray. This is probably more a problem of me than the book, though. I don't know, I just didn't really get into it as well as I did her other book Everything is Fine. Perhaps it just didn't have the emotional punch that book did for me.
Full review at One Librarian's Book Reviews.

[Tory Mcclintick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book it's an emotional rollercoaster and I grew extremely attached to Logan as I was reading through this. If I had any questions they would be the following three: 1. what is the time frame? Is it the late 90s or early 2000s? 2. Is there a sequel? 3. Why is logan so afraid or change? The next part of this review characters you have the main characters being Logan His mom, father and his twin brothers Mack and Ryan, Toby, Bruce, Luke (The bullies), Laurel, Cami, and finally Zyler who is kind of weird in this situation because the Psychical form of Zyler is just Logan describing him and him being in back stories Logan and Zyler were best friends until “the incident” which for me was my least favourite part of the book because of the mindset Logan had. He saw what happened but still for some reason doesn’t let him in the dam window. But all in all this boom is great recommended for teens age 13 to 16 but anyone can read a book it’s a free country.

[M M · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ann Dee Ellis's This is what I did is an unbearable story. It is narrated by a boy who is somewhat slow to speech, socially awkward, and who is suffering under a burden of guilt. It is not difficult to guess what the guilt involves. It becomes clear soon enough as you read the book. There is child abuse. True, the protagonist is an engaging character. Still, the subject is horrific and I wonder what prompts a writer to address such an issue when the news is already filled with similar real-life horror stories. What is the message she intends to convey? Hope? Belief in human resilience? Love conquers miscommunication?

In reality few victims of abuse have a fortunate future. The optimistic ending Ellis provides appears to me a mockery. I wish I had not read the book. I can't unread it and it has depressed me.

[Cassi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am baffled as to how this book gets good ratings. It's not deep, it's not profound, it's not even entertaining or engaging. It's a poorly strung together series of incredibly superficial events that all culminate around, or result from, one event that the main character, Logan, refuses to talk about.

Ok it's got cute little icons and some palindromes. It's got the tragic violent event - check. The school bullies- check. The bullies who are bullied at home- check. The awkward love interest- check. The bestie guy friend who is interested in the same girl- check.

But all of these things are so superficial, what's the point? I might as well have read a yahoo article and written a book off of the comment section- thats about the level of sincerity and deepness found in this book.

[Dracolibris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read in one day, a work day even, I could not put this book down until I found out what the young narrator DID or didn't do, as the case may be. It involves a situation with his best friend, a girl they both were crushing on, and one heckuva scary father. After THAT night, poor Logan is moved to a different neighborhood by his family, to a place and school where no one will know what happened and he can get a fresh start. But does he want one, or will he find that he is trapped by his past? This novel was suspenseful, heart-breaking and joyous. For a debut, it shows great promise and I am looking forward to what stories the author has to tell in the future.

[Casle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mostly dialogue by other characters, Logan’s responses look like this: Me:
He doesn’t tell what happened so people think he did something he didn’t do. His guilt about not helping his friend keeps him from defending himself. His mother causes more problems by telling all the new neighbors about “What I did…” Logan has one friend, Laural, who trades palindromes on sticky notes with him. This will be so readable by boys. This lady gets the boy voice perfectly. I’m not sure I really get the end, I do, but I don’t, and I’m still thinking about it. I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time. Excellent!

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a weird book. That's really the only way I can describe it. The whole "scene" that the kid witnessed was weird. Not exactly predictable (which I guess is a good thing) but not exactly normal either.

I had mixed feelings on how this was written. The poetry-like format was a bit strange. Yet there was something about this book that made me keep reading so I've got to give the author some credit.

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Karla Rodriguez
Period 14-15
This is what i did
Ann Dee Ellis
157 pages
November 6,2009
Book rating: 8

I think that zyler made a major importance in the book because aven though he is a minor character in the book, Logan and zyler are best friends even though they like the same girl they are still friends. In the end zyler and the girl they both liked go out and zyler leaves without no one knowing and Logan is still friends with Zyler even though Zyler took the the girl he liked.

[7703maya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This awesome book is a story about a young boy who has witnessed something life changing that he never wants to see again. It is realistic fiction. I liked this book because it was a page turner and a very quick read. It is also written in verse!

[Annalisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked Everything is Fine better, but that could just be because I read it first. I still love Ann Dee's writing.