Beautiful Hate

Gods of Ruin MC #1

by Lorrain Allen

Zilpha Kensley

My mother has my life mapped out and her plan doesn’t include a boy from the wrong side of the tracks.

Sam doesn’t belong in my world, but one rainy night, our fates collide.

I showed him kindness when no one else ever had.

For that, he worshipped the ground I walked on until I betrayed him.

It’s been three years, and he has a score to settle.


Samuel “Sandman” Hendricks

I’m a stone-cold killer.

I take immense pleasure in watching my victims draw in their last breath.

Death is my constant companion, until Zilpha reappears in my life.

Her treachery destroyed the boy I used to be.

He perished in flames of smoldering rage.

A monster emerged in his place.

The tables have turned, and this time, she’s the one who’s going to get burned.




Warning: This book features an out-of-control, jealous antihero, abuse, graphic language, explicit sex scenes, and other subject matters some readers might find triggering. Samuel “Sandman” Hendricks is not a comfortable antihero to read about. If you expect a redeemable antihero this book is not for you. He does NOT grovel or beg. A detailed content warning will be available on the author's website before release.


Beautiful Hate is the first book in a five-part series and can be read as a standalone.

Genres: Abuse, Dark Romance

Kindle Edition

Published January 1, 2023

About the author

Lorrain Allen, aka Trigger Queen, wrote her first book, The Fox and the Box, at just six years old for a class assignment—and never looked back. In middle school, she joined the poetry club and competed in several poetry slams, further fueling her lifelong love of storytelling. As a young adult, she became a full-fledged romance book junkie. That obsession eventually led her to dark romance, where she discovered a passion for the darker, more twisted side of love.

Noticing the lack of dark romance novels centered around women of color, and inspired by the many creative authors she admired, Lorrain decided to write the kind of stories she wanted to read. While she plans to explore other romance subgenres, her primary focus remains nontraditional dark romance featuring unapologetically flawed, nonredeemable antiheroes.

Lorrain lives on the East Coast with her handsome son. When she’s not writing or devouring books, she enjoys traveling, experiencing different cultures, shopping at the mall, catching a movie, or discovering new-to-her restaurants. A self-proclaimed foodie, she’s always on the hunt for her next favorite dish.

The themes in her books may be controversial—but what’s life without a little controversy?

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Reviews

[romancereadswithbri · Rating 5 out of 5]

YES! I’m obsessed with the MMC for this book! The Sandman is unhinged and unapologetic! He’s possessive, obsessive and protective in his own way. Even though he couldn’t care less about redemption, which I LOVE, there is an HEA.

I love Lorrain’s writing! This is the first book I’ve read by her and now I need more! I NEED Meela’s and Jigsaw’s story!!


🖤 Dark Motorcycle Club Romance
🖤 Antihero MMC
🖤 Possessive MMC
🖤 Unhinged MMC
🖤 Serial Unaliver MMC
🖤 Forced Proximity
🖤 OTT Obsession
🖤 He Falls First
🖤 Touch her and 💀
🖤 Revenge
🖤 Kidnapping/Captivity
🖤 Hate to Love You
🖤 Hate S*x
🖤 Smut 🔥🔥🔥 (🔪 Play) (Non-con)
🖤 Friends to Enemies to Lovers
🖤 “MINE”

“I’m f*cking obsessed. Obsessed with her tears. Obsessed with her pain. Obsessed with being inside her.”

[★ raella ★ · Rating 1 out of 5]

When you find yourself rolling your eyes more often than not, you know this isn’t the book for you.

[MiSsE · Rating 5 out of 5]

LET’S GET THE PSA OUT OF THE WAY:

This book is NOT for the weak. CHECK your triggers, READ the warnings, and if YOU CHOOSE to ignore them, don’t you dare come for the author in the comments because you were warned. MULTIPLE times.

Now that the housekeeping is done: I have been waiting for this book forever. I’m a Lorrain Allen fan club junkie and I’ll scream it loud and proud! 😆

To me, this story kinda reminded me of “Romeo and Juliet’s” story if the original was set between the trailer parks streets and the elite suburban, two kids from different worlds suffering the same brand of hell.

Sam and Zilphia’s connection started in a treehouse, the only safe haven they had from the absolute monsters they called "family." The emotional and physical abuse these two endured made me want to jump through the screen and catch a case. Zilphia’s mother? Pure trash. Her brother? An ass. Her aunt and cousin? Bullying, starving, entitled nightmares.

I’ll be honest: I spent half the book wishing Zilphia would grow a backbone and stop letting these people spit on her. But the betrayal? My heart broke for Sam. He didn’t deserve that. By the end, I felt the punishment Sam doled out didn't fit the "crime" Zilphia committed, his hate definitely outweighed the hurt. You can tell he loved her in his own messed-up way, though. You could feel it coming off of him at times.

That plot twist towards the end? Jaw. Dropped. I didn't see it coming at all.

This was a total rollercoaster, and I’m already dying for the stories for Tulip/Draco, Meela/Jigsaw, and Leah/Snake. Lorrain Allen did it again, I loved everything about this book 💙

*Lemme also say that I think he’s the worst MMC out of all her books. No redemption at all, not even a little bit lol

[n_ow_n]

------------------Possibly spoilers------------------





One star goes to the main MMC. Just because he had the bones of a real villain (though he was a bit too uncreative and repetitive in his wickedness...).

The "extremely dark romance" 🙄 here apparently stands for moderate gore and the guy sodomising his love interest. Repeatedly... Like in every chapter ... In the same way ... And she kind of seems to like it or at least be totally ok with it?!?!?! He calls it obsession, she calls it love. And they end up living HEA as a kinky little family. Which is really a miracle considering how many times these characters were physically abused throughout the book... There were some plot twists but at that point (the repetitiveness has dragged on for over 30 chapters), I wasn't invested in following.

I don't understand what authors try to achieve by overhyping their books. Would it be so bad if you just be more moderate in advertising your shades of darkness and simply put the trigger warnings out there for people to decide for themselves if they want to read or not?!

[B Meadows · Rating 2 out of 5]

i don't know why we glorify men who rape women and treat them like shit. now I love dark romance but this book was sick. He raped her over and over when she said no and fought him. He never says he loves her, treats her like a prisoner and shows no affection towards the FMC. Definitely not my type of MMC.

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

There was no romance, so I don’t undrestand why is label romance here.

[Mary S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s been awhile since I read a new book from this author. And let me just say that the wait was worth it. Sam aka Sandman was one possessive and obsessive individual. This man I think that he beats Art,Dom,and Maverick. He sure was one dude that got me all twisted and excited. Just beware of TW because as the name title says Sandman had a beautiful hate.

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a glutton reader, I devoured Beautiful Hate, in one sitting, the way people consume sugar knowing it’s too much, but unable to stop lol.
Authoress Ms. Allen unapologetically wrote Beautiful Hate raw and unfiltered, no hand holding, trigger-buffering, no romantic clean-up crew, no moral babysitting. What you see is what you get, and if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s a personal problem and or discomfort that’s yours to sit with. That’s intentional. It forces accountability on the reader. You can’t hide behind “but it’s a romance” when the behavior on the page is clearly depraved and ugly. It exposes how easily people will excuse harm when it’s packaged as trauma, desire, or passion.
Beautiful Hate was no slow burn at all. What the book calls “romance” skips real emotional connection and jumps straight into control and manipulation. Sandman wasn’t some misunderstood, complex character—he was straight-up diabolical. But Z wasn’t on equal footing with him. She was groomed a patsy, shaped and pushed into going along with things long before anything physical ever happened with Sandman.
Beautiful hate is diabolical. It looks good, feels good, and poisons you quietly. The plot and mayhem pull you in so effortlessly that you consent to the chaos as you read clearly and fully aware Sandman is a sadistic heathen from the pits of hell. How about when he told her he would go drag her to hell with him if they die and reside in two different places. OMG!!
My heart broke for both Sam and Z. They came from abusive childhoods, and that kind of trauma doesn’t simply disappear, it embeds itself, shaping how you move through the world. Watching Sandman unload all of that rage onto Z was difficult to sit with. It made me wonder whether he was damaged as a child himself (in the way he abused Z) or if cruelty had simply become second nature to him. I know this is a novel, but words carry emotion. What I felt was unfiltered anger (heartbreaking, soul shaking) because what he inflicted to Z felt intentional and relentless. It was done to someone who was his saving grace when he (Sam) was most vulnerable. Someone who could have been his soulmate. Still, one violent act committed by Z’s brother and friends, no matter how brutal, does not exonerate the years of harm Sandman endured at the hands of those who were supposed to protect him. Trauma doesn’t excuse what he became, but it does explain how the cycle started. I digress.
Notes to Self:
***Let’s be clear and I maybe wrong but Authoress Allen didn’t redeem Sandman, didn’t rescue Z, didn’t correct the imbalance for you. Instead, she said: Here it is. Decide what you’re willing to tolerate, excuse, or romanticize. That’s it that’s all!

***Some truths don’t reveal themselves until you live them.

***What feels good to you but harms you quietly can mirror what feels hard but heals you.
Z and Sandman developed an attachment to something or someone that felt good for that brief period of time but wasn’t good long-term betrayal and consequences of that betrayal and I’m honest enough to admit it.

***Once you see it, you can’t unsee it and that’s what makes this book dangerous in the best way.
My heart broke for SAM AND Z, but "Sandman" and others close to Z deserved all the smoke.

[Sonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive an ARC of this book, and it left a lasting impression on me. The connection between Sam “Sandman” and Zilphia is unexpectedly sweet, even as it’s layered with sadness and longing for what might have been. Their story carries a deep sense of nostalgia—painful, raw, and emotionally heavy—while never shying away from the darker, more twisted edges of their world.
Sandman is a hardened, scarred, and unrepentant man, shaped by trauma that came far too early in his life. There is a razor‑thin line between love and hate running through him, and while he is often hard, mean, and difficult to care about, there are moments where his buried capacity for love shines through. His relentless pursuit of vengeance and the way he lives his life make him a complex and compelling character, and I find myself needing to know more—not only about him and Zilphia as a couple, but about how they will continue to evolve in their relationship.
The supporting cast is just as captivating. Characters like Leah and Snake, and Meela and Jigsaw, frequently steal the scene and add depth and intrigue to the story. They are fascinating in their own right, and I’m already eager for their books to be released.
This book has earned a permanent place on my personal bookshelf, and it’s one I know I’ll return to again. Dark, emotional, and unforgettable, it left me wanting more in the best possible way.

[Helena · Rating 1 out of 5]

jezus christ! I love a good dark romance but this honestly terrible and depressing. Our female lead Zilphia comes from a broken home and has been abused by her narcissistic mother since she was born. she's always had a relatively cushy if hollow life, only brightened by her friendship with Sam, the orphan boy she finds holed up in her treehouse.... adorable right???


NO. Not at all.


see things go MAJORLY down hill. her dad gets busted for fraud, she's off the her aunts house where everyone hates her and her mother and when she meets sam again, he's harder and a trainer killer.


look, I love dark romance but this was just obscene at times. the FL is VIOLENTLY RAPED by the "love interest" MULTIPLE times in every chapter..... I expect one time because of the book warnings but it was honestly gratuitous. I could never root for this couple and poor Zilphia deserved so much better and a man who'd love and keep her safe, not brutalize her like an animal. Yeah he was betrayed but him raping her before and after pregnancy??? nah. that doesn't fix anything. this isn't a romance it's gore imo

[Dedra Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wild ride

Two kids from opposite worlds finding a "neutral zone" (the treehouse). The trailer trash" boy vs. the wealthy girl whose life is curated by a status-obsessed mother. The MMC having escaped horrific family abuse only to find his first taste of love in secret.

Years later : The MFC she doesn't just break his heart—she essentially hands him over to be destroyed.

What does he want ? Revenge !

He wants her to feel as discarded as he felt that night

He’s no longer the boy in the treehouse; he’s the son of an MC President. He has the backup, the muscle, and a massive chip on his shoulder.

She’s stripped of her high-society protection and thrust into his world now …..

•classism
•severe bullying
• HEA-hard earned
•MC
•revenge romance
• second chance
• secret friends

If you love a MMC who is genuinely broken and a mfc who has to crawl through glass to earn forgiveness, this hits the spot. It’s a great look at how the people who give us the most light can also cause the darkest shadows!!

[Precious · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review of advance copy received from Author
PSA * - the reading of the trigger list has to be read before proceeding with this book. Because all I thought it was a typical morally grey/morally black story. OH I WAS SOOOOOOO WRONG!

Sam. SANDMAN U are wow... ust wow! My girl Zilphia, how u stood up for yourself? Yesss character growth!!

This story was definitely friends to enemies to lovers! The plot twists, the characters, the PLOT!! The second chance at love! The obsession possessiveness!!! TOUCH HER AND U GOODBYE TO THIS WORLD????? Omig! This book is so bingeable! I couldn't put this book down, I need to be forced to put my phone down at the dinner table just to get food inside me. I loved everything about this book. I actually thought this book was not gonna finish on a good note. But all wounds must heal, all sadness will disappear and happiness will follow

This book 5 stars! I will be rereading it soon!

[Juju · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Lorrain for another great story. Highly recommend this book & author.

The beginning broke my heart 😢 poor little Sam. Adult Sam is very very very toxic. Probably in my top ten of toxic mc's.

Content Warning with spoilers - please heed!!!

.

Abortion (h does not go through with it)

Animal harm (on page)- H's dog shot by enemy but survives)

Blood play

Body shaming

Branding

Breath play

Cheating (not between the H and h)

Child abuse (both mc's were victims)

Degradation

Drugs

Emotional abuse

Explicit sex scenes

Family death

Fire play

Gang violence

Graphic language

Graphic rape (on page) by H to h (multiple times)

Grief and loss depiction (of secondary characters)

Kidnapping of h

Knife play

Murder

Nonconsensual sex scenes (H to h)

Parental neglect

Physical abuse

Psychological torture

Sodomy

Stockholm syndrome

Toxic relationship

Verbal abuse

Watersports

[AnneMarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — 5/5 Stars
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 — 5/5 Spice

If you want dark, this book delivers darkness in full force. Seriously—check those trigger warnings because this story does not hold back.

That said, it’s a really good read. Sam—aka Sandman—is the embodiment of possessive, obsessive intensity. He’s controlling, territorial, and absolutely ruthless when it comes to protecting what’s his. Cross him or his woman and you’re done for.

I felt bad for Zilphia from start to finish. She’s made her share of mistakes, sure, but the girl has been through it. Her strength shines through every chapter, and you can’t help but root for her.

If you’re craving a truly DARK romance with heavy themes, intense characters, and a storyline that pulls you under, this one is absolutely for you.

[Ni · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t mind non-con or even r*pe scenes in my books but this was just straight up disgusting. The flashback chapters were really cute. I just don’t think Sam’s behavior was justified. One screw up after the girl practically saved your life and provided you shelter for many years, and you put her through hell. What a loser. 👎🏽 I like my mmc’s completely and utterly obsessed but still unable to harm the fmc. He repeatedly anally r*ped her and gave her no time to heal. Idk how she didn’t end up in the hospital. Eeeeyuckkkkk.

Also he p*ssed on her, like you didn’t even have that much smoke for your bum ass mommy and step sis. Whew. 🙄

Still sat for Snake and Leah. I just hope his wrath is logical at least.

Meela and Jigsaw gave me the ick. 🤢

[TINA WILLIAMS · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book that I had to stew over before writing a review. This one is dark and full of triggers. This author did a great job and the story is well written but won’t be up everyone’s alley. The true dark romance lover will be in heaven. Sam and Zilphia have a dark and tumultuous relationship. He is obsessed with her. She makes a mistake as a young teenager and he is determined to make her pay for the rest of her life. Granted, it was a terrible thing she did. Would I put up with this irredeemable psycho? Never, but it sure is fun to read.

[Krystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a wild ride! This story is definitely action packed and will have you clutching your pearls.
The way that Sam transitioned himself into Sandman to cope with all the abuse and betrayal in his life is understandable. He is definitely a pitch black MMC. The redeemable quality in him, in my opinion, is that for Zilphia, he would literally burn the world down. Even after her one lapse in judgement.
Our FMC, Zilphia, definitely had a nice growth arc and found her backbone toward the end. Which was nice to see.

[Lady Lauren Explorer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read the book twice just to make sure I still gave it the same rating!!!! I've been waiting for this book for sooooo long and stalking instagram stories for updates on its timeline; and I can say I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Just a warning, this is on the cusp of being a pitch black story. So read at your own risk. But I enjoyed it, so don't yuck my yum! Sandman is....a person that irl, red flags all day! But in this story he gets my heart. Again, read at your risk but I think if you like your MCs dark hearted, then you'll probably like this!!

[Ashlie Tezekjian · Rating 5 out of 5]

WEEEEEW. This was my first book from Lorrain & it will not be the last. I am a sucker for pitch black stories when executed well & that’s exactly what this was.
The power & possession OOZED out of this MMC that we all crave. In addition, the storyline was so phenomenally constructed that left you gripping for more more more! Which baby I need!!
You’re left feeling gut wrenched but in the best way.

[Ce Ce · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars! The twists and turns were great and this was the perfect book to introduce all of the characters I presume will be in the series. Unfortunately, I doubt I’ll continue the series because I don’t like these trigger warning stories with such young characters. I thought after the betrayal the story would have fast forwarded by at least a decade, but it was only a few years. I will keep this in mind the next time I see this author release a new book.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

LORRAINE is the best at giving us unforgettable characters. The MMC of this story is unapologetically unredeemable. He gives 'hurt people, HURT people and entirely' new meaning. When our FMC found her strength she was just as unapologetic as he was. This was the best biker book I've read in a long time

[Fatu C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful Hate

Chef's Kiss. This book was definitely worth the wait and more. Unhinged, toxic, doesn't begin to describe the madness that is Zilphia and Samuel aka Sandman. But the title is the perfect embodiment to their brand of love. Lorraine Allen your pen game is crazy good and I'm here for it. 💜

[Selenamcgriff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark Psycho

Finally a dark romance that doesn’t have male lead redeem themselves by chapter 3. You will love and have the main characters. This book is not for the faint of heart and you should heed the warnings from the author. Thank you Lorrain Allen for not being scared to bring us a real dark romance. I can’t wait to read book 2

[Kitssia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a DARK ROMANCE
Was it spicy ? Ohhh yeah 🥵
Best friends to semi lovers to enemies to I guess you could say lovers because I mean my girl Zilphia… I could tell you but it’s better if you read the book 📖
I’ll be looking forward to reading the next books in the series 😏

[Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

You need to read the TW, I go in blind to every single book, and this one because of one specific thing that is pretty dang consistant, I had to stop reading and put down several times. Its good just please read those TWs!

[Rebecca Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and couldn’t put down no matter what ⭐️

Loved this and can’t wait for more. Everything has me eager to go to the next page. Next thing I know I finished this too early want to read it again till the sequels come out.

[Kellane Ayanna Mitchener · Rating 5 out of 5]

So dang good, I loved this book so much. I loved crazy Sandman and I loved protector Zilphia. When this comes out do your self a favor and read it. I am never disappointed with Lorrains books.

[Hannah - Twiggy | Booktok · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is DARK folks, you have been warned.
Probably one of the darkest books I’ve read.
You have been warned.

[Miss D. · Rating 4 out of 5]

BEAUTIFUL HATE is a captivating story though it's not an easy story. It is dark. If you're a fan of the author, you already know that her male leads are not good men. They are anti-heroes powerful, sexy, and messed up emotionally but that's what makes the author's romance stories so interesting because they don't always end up with a redemption arc. That's definitely the case for Sandman when it comes to Zilphia.

The love story between Sandman and Zilphia is angsty plus tragic. Two young people discover first love but are ripped apart by a moment of betrayal. Sandman loves Zilphia yet his love is so entwined with a sense of hate due to his overwhelming hurt. One could have a field day psychoanalyzing Sandman. It's Zilphia who I was more intrigued by as her origin story is terrible too in a different way from Sandman and it's her growth that drives the story to me. Their love is twisted, raw, plus at times ugly yet it's always worth turning the page to see how they will try to reconcile their messy and complicated feelings for each other.

[Roxy Eslinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Check your triggers people this one’s dark. The author was up front about the triggers and unredeemable MMC. This book will not give you butterflies and a happy ending if that’s what you’re looking for this is not the one for you. I do like the FMC and believe that our MMC could have been redeemable, but that was not the story that she wanted to write.

The storyline and plot are well written and move easily. A few dialogue moments between male characters didn’t quite hit for me but overall I enjoyed the writing.