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Help Me, I'm Stuck: Six Proven Methods to Shift Your Mindset From Self-Sabotage to Self-Improvement
Follow these practical ways to get your feet out of the mud
Are you dispirited and unfocused?
Do you catch yourself being too harsh of a critic on your own actions?
Do you want to change how you think about yourself but feel lost?
If you found the above questions relatable, then there’s a good chance you’re stuck in a self-sabotaging mindset – one that revolves around negative thoughts that limit you from growing.
According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has around 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, most in the form of self-talk, of which 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive.
While this self-talk is completely natural, its negative aspect fails to promote your overall well-being, whether physical or mental.
These negative thoughts can lead to feeling unmotivated to take action, because you don’t see your self-worth, which can increase the feeling of being stuck.
As a result, you’ll often feel helpless, causing a drop in motivation and a heavy hit to your health – you’ll end up becoming your own worst enemy.
But life doesn’t have to be this complicated.
Just a shift in your perspective can help you see things differently – not just with what you do, but also how you see yourself.
In fact, you can get out of this mindset of feeling stuck and bring more positivity into your life all by yourself.
All you have to do is follow these 6 simple methods…
In Help Me, I’m Stuck, you will discover:
6 proven methods to completely turn your life around and bring a positive change
How to focus your mind on the task at hand (and feel motivated to do it)
Gratitude in a Nutshell – build a habit of appreciating what you have (with 5 tips and 3 exercises you can practice every day)
How to silence the inner critic – use the power of positive thinking to rewire your brain (in just 2 simple steps!)
The positive impact of food – what you should eat to promote your mental as well as physical well-being (and 10 ways to help you stop eating your emotions)
A simple yet effective guide to eliminate negative self-talk (small steps to reduce stress and make permanent changes)
The importance of empathy, and how you can incorporate it into your daily life
DIY Unstuck Planning – 6 tips to get you started on making a custom “getting unstuck” plan for yourself
And much more.
While it may seem so, it’s not the circumstances around you that control the outcome, but the power of your thoughts and how you look at things.
Are you ready to take control of your life?
Are you dispirited and unfocused?
Do you catch yourself being too harsh of a critic on your own actions?
Do you want to change how you think about yourself but feel lost?
If you found the above questions relatable, then there’s a good chance you’re stuck in a self-sabotaging mindset – one that revolves around negative thoughts that limit you from growing.
According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has around 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, most in the form of self-talk, of which 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive.
While this self-talk is completely natural, its negative aspect fails to promote your overall well-being, whether physical or mental.
These negative thoughts can lead to feeling unmotivated to take action, because you don’t see your self-worth, which can increase the feeling of being stuck.
As a result, you’ll often feel helpless, causing a drop in motivation and a heavy hit to your health – you’ll end up becoming your own worst enemy.
But life doesn’t have to be this complicated.
Just a shift in your perspective can help you see things differently – not just with what you do, but also how you see yourself.
In fact, you can get out of this mindset of feeling stuck and bring more positivity into your life all by yourself.
All you have to do is follow these 6 simple methods…
In Help Me, I’m Stuck, you will discover:
6 proven methods to completely turn your life around and bring a positive change
How to focus your mind on the task at hand (and feel motivated to do it)
Gratitude in a Nutshell – build a habit of appreciating what you have (with 5 tips and 3 exercises you can practice every day)
How to silence the inner critic – use the power of positive thinking to rewire your brain (in just 2 simple steps!)
The positive impact of food – what you should eat to promote your mental as well as physical well-being (and 10 ways to help you stop eating your emotions)
A simple yet effective guide to eliminate negative self-talk (small steps to reduce stress and make permanent changes)
The importance of empathy, and how you can incorporate it into your daily life
DIY Unstuck Planning – 6 tips to get you started on making a custom “getting unstuck” plan for yourself
And much more.
While it may seem so, it’s not the circumstances around you that control the outcome, but the power of your thoughts and how you look at things.
Are you ready to take control of your life?
96 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 31, 2021
654 people are currently reading
1062 people want to read
About the author
Vaughn Carter
7 books7 followersVaughn Carter is a teacher and consultant, and the author of Help Me, I’m Stuck.
He is passionate about the power of the right mindset to change the course of a person’s life, and he channels this passion into his writing. His work explores strategies for changing your mindset to pave the way for success in any field, with a particular focus on women.
Vaughn has always been passionate about helping others and is driven to help other people cultivate a positive attitude and improve their lot in life. Throughout his professional life, he has always sought to boost morale on both an individual and team level. He is comfortable with using his own experiences and reflections to make others feel safe and help them make improvements in their own lives.
Vaughn has a firm belief that every experience is valuable, and that sharing them allows us to learn from each other to facilitate personal growth. In his work as both an educator and a consultant, he strives to learn from everyone he meets, feeding this back to others to allow them to benefit from a range of different experiences.
As the youngest of five children, family is important to Vaughn, who learned from those closest to him the importance of sacrifice and giving. He is a very sociable person and loves nothing more than to spend his free time with friends and family.
He is passionate about the power of the right mindset to change the course of a person’s life, and he channels this passion into his writing. His work explores strategies for changing your mindset to pave the way for success in any field, with a particular focus on women.
Vaughn has always been passionate about helping others and is driven to help other people cultivate a positive attitude and improve their lot in life. Throughout his professional life, he has always sought to boost morale on both an individual and team level. He is comfortable with using his own experiences and reflections to make others feel safe and help them make improvements in their own lives.
Vaughn has a firm belief that every experience is valuable, and that sharing them allows us to learn from each other to facilitate personal growth. In his work as both an educator and a consultant, he strives to learn from everyone he meets, feeding this back to others to allow them to benefit from a range of different experiences.
As the youngest of five children, family is important to Vaughn, who learned from those closest to him the importance of sacrifice and giving. He is a very sociable person and loves nothing more than to spend his free time with friends and family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
February 9, 2022
A truly awful read - wild, unsubstantiated claims, hit and miss citations and embarrassingly poor editing. My first clue should have been that this is a self/help book aimed at women, yet written by a man; as such, the grasp on the real problems faced by women is nonexistent. Instead the content is focussed on our apparent desire to fit into the red silk dress we all have in our wardrobes (!?), and ditching our ‘bum boyfriend’. Add to the mix numerous instances of fat-phobia/weight shaming, and hetero-normative language (focussing on ‘husband/wife’ and ‘he/she’ pronouns when ‘partner’ and ‘they’ would be equally, if not more, appropriate), and it becomes evident that this book is not relevant in 2022. The tips and techniques presented are very basic, so are more akin to something you might expect to find after a quick Google search, or as part of a Buzzfeed article than something worth paying for. If anything, I’m annoyed at myself for persevering through the whole thing, solely for the purpose of this review.
May 19, 2024
*free copy in exchange for an honest review*
Honestly, I didn't enjoy this book in the slightest. I found it promoted harmful messages which could actually prove dangerous if this book got in the wrong hands. It has a weird focus on weight (and shifting it so you can fit into that silk red dress). Additionally, this book could've been made more inclusive and gender neutral, but instead it has an exaggerated focus on women which was grossly overdone.
The main issue is that it's written by a man. There are super odd themes and topics mentioned throughout which aren't helpful - let alone when the advice is coming from a male.
In conclusion, I don't recommend this book. I was hoping for something more inclusive and helpful. It spreads harmful messages. You can be happy as YOU - even without fitting into that silk red dress.
Honestly, I didn't enjoy this book in the slightest. I found it promoted harmful messages which could actually prove dangerous if this book got in the wrong hands. It has a weird focus on weight (and shifting it so you can fit into that silk red dress). Additionally, this book could've been made more inclusive and gender neutral, but instead it has an exaggerated focus on women which was grossly overdone.
The main issue is that it's written by a man. There are super odd themes and topics mentioned throughout which aren't helpful - let alone when the advice is coming from a male.
In conclusion, I don't recommend this book. I was hoping for something more inclusive and helpful. It spreads harmful messages. You can be happy as YOU - even without fitting into that silk red dress.
March 19, 2022
*free copy in exchange for an honest review*
I received a free copy of this book with only knowing it was a self-help book. To me, this book seemed like an extension of a lengthy blog post, or someone who was giving a presentation on several different topics and tips for changing your mindset/circumstance. While the book was organized into different chapters, the content was all over the place. I agree with some other reviewers on how the content of the book could have been easily found through a Google search or a Buzzfeed article. The citations were inaccurate and poorly done; at one point, the author referred to someone as a doctor and nothing else.
I’m also confused by comments from the author on goodreads—as the author is apparently female but the name on the actual book is the publisher, who is male (?). It is important to know, as there are many references into losing weight to fit into the “red sexy silk dress” and having a rocking body. Who is making the assumption that this is what people (or women) truly want? It seems to go against the chapter on gratitude and living a purposeful life.
I would not recommend this book— more importantly, I would refer to actual researchers in the field like Kristin Neff, PhD., who specialize in self-compassion.
I received a free copy of this book with only knowing it was a self-help book. To me, this book seemed like an extension of a lengthy blog post, or someone who was giving a presentation on several different topics and tips for changing your mindset/circumstance. While the book was organized into different chapters, the content was all over the place. I agree with some other reviewers on how the content of the book could have been easily found through a Google search or a Buzzfeed article. The citations were inaccurate and poorly done; at one point, the author referred to someone as a doctor and nothing else.
I’m also confused by comments from the author on goodreads—as the author is apparently female but the name on the actual book is the publisher, who is male (?). It is important to know, as there are many references into losing weight to fit into the “red sexy silk dress” and having a rocking body. Who is making the assumption that this is what people (or women) truly want? It seems to go against the chapter on gratitude and living a purposeful life.
I would not recommend this book— more importantly, I would refer to actual researchers in the field like Kristin Neff, PhD., who specialize in self-compassion.
February 26, 2025
A book for women written by a man
I don't know if you guys can see my average for my ratings... it's a 4.20. This book is less than a 1 for me. I could have not wasted my time but my Dad gave this book to me thinking it would help, so I honored him by taking the time to read this.
I will just start off by saying, do not give this to any teenage girl going through puberty. It does talk about dieting but his immense focus on losing weight is insane. He literally talks about fitting into a "red silk dress" and mentions it many times throughout the book.
To all my beautiful women out there remember, CLOTHES ARE NOT MEANT FOR YOU TO FIT INTO, THEY ARE MADE TO FIT YOU.
Diet culture and working out can be beneficial when you are mentioning the feel-good effect, and the improvement of health. But it is harmful when it is mainly about losing weight, "after giving birth to twins, having no time to exercise, you went from a dress size 8 to 14", and yes that is a direct quote from page 22.
Because I vividly hate this book I'm just going to give you my fav quote and reaction:)
- "Why is so difficult for these strong, talented, and beautiful women (or men) to lose weight? To choose a good partner? Or to ask for a raise or a promotion...... Now, having reached that age, I get it." YOU GET WHAT? WHY WOMEN STRUGGLE? BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH EXPIRENCE AS A WOMAN?
It's just a man telling women to shut up, smile, and be happy (oh and skinny) for 128 pages. It's also nothing that you couldn't find on google, it felt like I was reading a long twitter post.
I don't know if you guys can see my average for my ratings... it's a 4.20. This book is less than a 1 for me. I could have not wasted my time but my Dad gave this book to me thinking it would help, so I honored him by taking the time to read this.
I will just start off by saying, do not give this to any teenage girl going through puberty. It does talk about dieting but his immense focus on losing weight is insane. He literally talks about fitting into a "red silk dress" and mentions it many times throughout the book.
To all my beautiful women out there remember, CLOTHES ARE NOT MEANT FOR YOU TO FIT INTO, THEY ARE MADE TO FIT YOU.
Diet culture and working out can be beneficial when you are mentioning the feel-good effect, and the improvement of health. But it is harmful when it is mainly about losing weight, "after giving birth to twins, having no time to exercise, you went from a dress size 8 to 14", and yes that is a direct quote from page 22.
Because I vividly hate this book I'm just going to give you my fav quote and reaction:)
- "Why is so difficult for these strong, talented, and beautiful women (or men) to lose weight? To choose a good partner? Or to ask for a raise or a promotion...... Now, having reached that age, I get it." YOU GET WHAT? WHY WOMEN STRUGGLE? BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH EXPIRENCE AS A WOMAN?
It's just a man telling women to shut up, smile, and be happy (oh and skinny) for 128 pages. It's also nothing that you couldn't find on google, it felt like I was reading a long twitter post.
May 3, 2022
Utter drivel. A guy telling women to smile and lose weight for 100 pages.
May 5, 2022
A self help book written for women by a man…. Should I say more.
January 9, 2022
Helpful Ideas
Great section on how vitamins help our overall health and thinking ability. The author also discusses how these supplements (including what foods to eat) will help in making better choices, being more positive and energetic. It was the reminders I needed to move forward.
Great section on how vitamins help our overall health and thinking ability. The author also discusses how these supplements (including what foods to eat) will help in making better choices, being more positive and energetic. It was the reminders I needed to move forward.
January 31, 2022
loved it!
I think this book has so many points. I also love that I can relate to the author as I’m reading I can adjust how she would sound if she were physically saying it to me. I recommend
I think this book has so many points. I also love that I can relate to the author as I’m reading I can adjust how she would sound if she were physically saying it to me. I recommend
February 18, 2024
not my favorite but quick and easy read with some few good tips #selfhelprocks🤘
February 1, 2022
How to work on Getting Unstuck
Many of us, males and females, find ourselves being stuck. We tend to give power to our circumstances, feelings, or actions rather than looking at situations just as they are. There are great experiential examples throughout. What's the key ingredient to change? Why do we sabotage ourselves? Lots of thoughts and recommendations for an better you! Enjoyed learning some new techniques.
Many of us, males and females, find ourselves being stuck. We tend to give power to our circumstances, feelings, or actions rather than looking at situations just as they are. There are great experiential examples throughout. What's the key ingredient to change? Why do we sabotage ourselves? Lots of thoughts and recommendations for an better you! Enjoyed learning some new techniques.
March 26, 2022
I REALLY enjoyed this!
This is the first self help book i have read, I've always thought they can't help someone like me,riddled with anxiety and ways in the pit of self loathing.
Firstly, the author is an incredible writer.
I hate to admit it but i am girl A(Anne). I loved the two different island situations because it really made you realise the difference ournown attitude and thinking can have such an impact on our survival and way forward.
I found the breakdown of the scenarios really helpful as you get to see how these circumstances and the way we react to them can change the outcome and that it can be quite simple to change that. I will definitely be using that to help myself.
My favourite part of the book was about the deer and her fawn part, ITS SO TRUE i mean something so simple like this can make us happy as we are driving by or whatever so WHY don't we try to get more of that happiness by making it last longer by pulling over and like the authour said..taking pictures and maximising what we can do to carry on feeling this happy bliss.
I personally love sunsets, but i found myself looking at them briefly but having a inside moan on how the houses and buildings ruin and block the view but what i could do is maybe go to higer grounds (their is a high hill in my town with a nicer view) and enjoy the sunset better..maybe take some pictures or something and last out the feeling.
I felt like this book was wrote for just me, i felt like the author knows me personally and was helping me out with this book, i am a very negative thinker, anxiety and depression effect my life daily but i have found many useful tips from this book that i will be using to improve my way of thinking.
Thankyou!
5⭐
This is the first self help book i have read, I've always thought they can't help someone like me,riddled with anxiety and ways in the pit of self loathing.
Firstly, the author is an incredible writer.
I hate to admit it but i am girl A(Anne). I loved the two different island situations because it really made you realise the difference ournown attitude and thinking can have such an impact on our survival and way forward.
I found the breakdown of the scenarios really helpful as you get to see how these circumstances and the way we react to them can change the outcome and that it can be quite simple to change that. I will definitely be using that to help myself.
My favourite part of the book was about the deer and her fawn part, ITS SO TRUE i mean something so simple like this can make us happy as we are driving by or whatever so WHY don't we try to get more of that happiness by making it last longer by pulling over and like the authour said..taking pictures and maximising what we can do to carry on feeling this happy bliss.
I personally love sunsets, but i found myself looking at them briefly but having a inside moan on how the houses and buildings ruin and block the view but what i could do is maybe go to higer grounds (their is a high hill in my town with a nicer view) and enjoy the sunset better..maybe take some pictures or something and last out the feeling.
I felt like this book was wrote for just me, i felt like the author knows me personally and was helping me out with this book, i am a very negative thinker, anxiety and depression effect my life daily but i have found many useful tips from this book that i will be using to improve my way of thinking.
Thankyou!
5⭐
January 28, 2025
Feeling stuck in life can often feel overwhelming and isolating, but it is a challenge shared by many. Vaughn Carter's "Help Me, I'm Stuck: Six Proven Methods to Shift Your Mindset From Self-Sabotage to Self-Improvement" explores how self-awareness and intentional changes can lead to meaningful personal growth. The book emphasizes that breaking free from patterns of negativity and stagnation starts with reframing your mindset and aligning your actions with your goals. By harnessing practical strategies and adopting small, deliberate steps, anyone can unlock their potential and design a fulfilling life.
Life frequently throws obstacles in our way, from setbacks and failures to the monotony of daily routines. However, Carter explains that these challenges are neutral in themselves; it is our reactions and interpretations that give them power. Shifting your mindset starts with awareness—recognizing limiting patterns in your thoughts and actions. For example, instead of dwelling on a mistake, you can reframe it as an opportunity to grow and improve. Journaling and self-reflection are highlighted as tools for this process, helping you uncover triggers and see challenges as temporary and manageable. Building a strong commitment to personal goals, rather than relying on fleeting motivation, can propel you forward.
Carter illustrates these ideas with examples of successful individuals who have overcome feelings of being stuck, such as Barbara Corcoran, who turned career setbacks into opportunities for success. The key lies in refusing to let circumstances dictate your future. By practicing introspection and adopting a proactive attitude, you can transform obstacles into stepping stones toward growth.
Positive thinking is another cornerstone of the book. Carter highlights how the human brain often clings to negative experiences while allowing positive moments to fade quickly. This tendency, reinforced by social media and critical environments, can lead to a default mode of negativity. Breaking this pattern involves actively reframing experiences, practicing gratitude, and showing self-compassion. For instance, if you're running late, instead of criticizing yourself, you could use the time to focus on something uplifting or reflect on a recent success. By savoring small joys and speaking kindly to yourself, you can rewire your brain for positivity over time.
Hope, described as the anticipation of good outcomes, also plays a significant role in overcoming negativity. Carter points out that cultivating hope can improve mental and physical health, reducing stress and fostering resilience. Practices like smiling, expressing gratitude, and engaging in activities that inspire hope can shift your mindset. While these changes don’t happen overnight, they have the power to transform your outlook and help you move closer to your goals.
Gratitude emerges as a transformative practice in the book, going beyond polite thank-yous to a deliberate focus on life’s positives. Carter explains that gratitude enhances physical health, psychological well-being, and social connections. Reflecting on past hardships can deepen your appreciation for your current circumstances, making challenges feel more manageable. If gratitude doesn’t come naturally, Carter advises cultivating it through habits like journaling, savoring positive moments, or volunteering. These practices can reframe your perspective, reduce negativity, and foster a deeper sense of connection and purpose.
In addition to mindset shifts, the book emphasizes the connection between physical health and mental well-being. A nutritious diet and regular exercise contribute significantly to positive thinking and emotional resilience. Carter explains that nutrients like Vitamin C, Omega-3 fatty acids, and magnesium play vital roles in brain health and mood stabilization. By making intentional dietary choices and incorporating fitness routines, you can build sustainable habits that support both your body and mind. Breaking cycles of emotional eating or inactivity starts with awareness and small, achievable changes. Over time, these efforts create a foundation for long-term health and positivity.
The book also addresses the power of breaking free from negative thought patterns. Carter identifies common habits like filtering (focusing only on negatives), personalizing (blaming yourself for external events), and polarizing (viewing situations as all good or bad). Recognizing these tendencies is the first step toward replacing them with healthier patterns. Strategies like distraction, mindfulness, and reframing help disrupt cycles of rumination and self-criticism. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and engaging in meaningful interactions can further reinforce constructive thinking.
Empathy is presented as a bridge to understanding and connection, enriching personal relationships and fostering a sense of belonging. Carter defines empathy as the ability to recognize and share another person’s emotions, creating deeper bonds and driving positive change. Active listening, asking thoughtful questions, and challenging prejudices are practical ways to cultivate empathy. By seeing others as individuals rather than stereotypes, you can build stronger connections and promote mutual understanding. Balancing empathy with self-care ensures that you remain compassionate without becoming emotionally drained.
Ultimately, Carter’s book is a guide to unlocking your potential and creating a fulfilling, authentic life. The journey begins with small, deliberate steps—cultivating awareness, reframing negativity, practicing gratitude, and prioritizing health. By committing to growth and embracing positivity, you can break free from self-sabotaging patterns and move toward a future filled with purpose and progress. The power to transform your life lies within you, waiting to be realized.
Life frequently throws obstacles in our way, from setbacks and failures to the monotony of daily routines. However, Carter explains that these challenges are neutral in themselves; it is our reactions and interpretations that give them power. Shifting your mindset starts with awareness—recognizing limiting patterns in your thoughts and actions. For example, instead of dwelling on a mistake, you can reframe it as an opportunity to grow and improve. Journaling and self-reflection are highlighted as tools for this process, helping you uncover triggers and see challenges as temporary and manageable. Building a strong commitment to personal goals, rather than relying on fleeting motivation, can propel you forward.
Carter illustrates these ideas with examples of successful individuals who have overcome feelings of being stuck, such as Barbara Corcoran, who turned career setbacks into opportunities for success. The key lies in refusing to let circumstances dictate your future. By practicing introspection and adopting a proactive attitude, you can transform obstacles into stepping stones toward growth.
Positive thinking is another cornerstone of the book. Carter highlights how the human brain often clings to negative experiences while allowing positive moments to fade quickly. This tendency, reinforced by social media and critical environments, can lead to a default mode of negativity. Breaking this pattern involves actively reframing experiences, practicing gratitude, and showing self-compassion. For instance, if you're running late, instead of criticizing yourself, you could use the time to focus on something uplifting or reflect on a recent success. By savoring small joys and speaking kindly to yourself, you can rewire your brain for positivity over time.
Hope, described as the anticipation of good outcomes, also plays a significant role in overcoming negativity. Carter points out that cultivating hope can improve mental and physical health, reducing stress and fostering resilience. Practices like smiling, expressing gratitude, and engaging in activities that inspire hope can shift your mindset. While these changes don’t happen overnight, they have the power to transform your outlook and help you move closer to your goals.
Gratitude emerges as a transformative practice in the book, going beyond polite thank-yous to a deliberate focus on life’s positives. Carter explains that gratitude enhances physical health, psychological well-being, and social connections. Reflecting on past hardships can deepen your appreciation for your current circumstances, making challenges feel more manageable. If gratitude doesn’t come naturally, Carter advises cultivating it through habits like journaling, savoring positive moments, or volunteering. These practices can reframe your perspective, reduce negativity, and foster a deeper sense of connection and purpose.
In addition to mindset shifts, the book emphasizes the connection between physical health and mental well-being. A nutritious diet and regular exercise contribute significantly to positive thinking and emotional resilience. Carter explains that nutrients like Vitamin C, Omega-3 fatty acids, and magnesium play vital roles in brain health and mood stabilization. By making intentional dietary choices and incorporating fitness routines, you can build sustainable habits that support both your body and mind. Breaking cycles of emotional eating or inactivity starts with awareness and small, achievable changes. Over time, these efforts create a foundation for long-term health and positivity.
The book also addresses the power of breaking free from negative thought patterns. Carter identifies common habits like filtering (focusing only on negatives), personalizing (blaming yourself for external events), and polarizing (viewing situations as all good or bad). Recognizing these tendencies is the first step toward replacing them with healthier patterns. Strategies like distraction, mindfulness, and reframing help disrupt cycles of rumination and self-criticism. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and engaging in meaningful interactions can further reinforce constructive thinking.
Empathy is presented as a bridge to understanding and connection, enriching personal relationships and fostering a sense of belonging. Carter defines empathy as the ability to recognize and share another person’s emotions, creating deeper bonds and driving positive change. Active listening, asking thoughtful questions, and challenging prejudices are practical ways to cultivate empathy. By seeing others as individuals rather than stereotypes, you can build stronger connections and promote mutual understanding. Balancing empathy with self-care ensures that you remain compassionate without becoming emotionally drained.
Ultimately, Carter’s book is a guide to unlocking your potential and creating a fulfilling, authentic life. The journey begins with small, deliberate steps—cultivating awareness, reframing negativity, practicing gratitude, and prioritizing health. By committing to growth and embracing positivity, you can break free from self-sabotaging patterns and move toward a future filled with purpose and progress. The power to transform your life lies within you, waiting to be realized.
April 23, 2023
The misogynistic tone made this a painful read. I kept pushing through hoping it would improve, but I just can’t get past the “my female friends have trouble losing the weight after babies” stories.
January 28, 2025
was hoping to find something new in this book - not really sure how i feel about it
also was hoping this book would go a lot deeper and address examples of self sabotage that aren't just beginner ones or surface level kind of things
quotes:
- Being stuck is the direct result of letting someone or something else hold power over you
- “Giving power to your circumstances will always affect your thoughts, your mood (feelings), your actions, and the outcome. But in truth, circumstances don’t mean anything. They just are.” (not entirely sure what this one means)
- and therein lies the problem: our actions always determine our consequences – for good or for bad.
- ignoring our emotions is not healthy, either. Doing so can cause people to engage in negative behaviors that are detrimental to themselves or loved ones, behaviors such as drinking, eating, working too much, gambling, or other such bad habits.
- Conversely, acknowledging that you feel a negative emotion – for instance, anger – is good for you. And processing that emotion – by asking yourself why you’re angry, and then taking healthy steps to defuse it – is vital.
- “For the past two decades, experts who study technology have warned us that if we’re not careful, we will fall victim to “information overload.”[1] This phenomenon can cause our brain to get stuck, not knowing which way to turn next because our mind is trying to focus on too many things.”
- “Start by writing down one circumstance in your life that annoys or discourages you. Then, the second you start thinking about how much it upsets you, stop. Then, repeat the following: “This circumstance doesn’t mean anything unless I let it. And today I refuse to let it. It means nothing. It holds no power over my feelings, my actions, or my life.”
notes:
- Rather than assigning a negative meaning, consider these circumstances as temporary and manageable.
- For example, if you realize you’ve made a mistake in an email you just sent out, it’s easy to immediately spiral into frustration and self blame. But if you come to terms with the fact that the mistake has already happened, and cannot be taken back, why not use that moment to move forward instead.
- instead of brushing past small joys, like watching wildlife or catching a sunset, pause and reflect on them. The longer you intentionally focus on these moments, the stronger their positive effects on your brain, literally rewiring it to prioritize optimism over negativity.
- Reflecting on past hardships is a powerful way to deepen gratitude. Comparing your current circumstances to difficult times can highlight how far you’ve come, making today’s challenges seem more manageable.
- Start by identifying the habits fueling your negative thinking. Common patterns include filtering – focusing only on the negatives in a situation; personalizing – blaming yourself for events outside your control; and polarizing – viewing everything in extremes with no middle ground. Recognizing these tendencies by name is the first step toward replacing them.
- When balanced with self-care, empathy allows you to remain compassionate without emotional overload.
thoughts:
- (Barbara Corcoran, the entrepreneur and Shark Tank investor, knows this feeling well. After a devastating breakup, she refused to accept her ex-boyfriend’s prediction that she couldn’t succeed without him.) why is she even in this book
- did the positive thinking section need to exist
- (If you’re looking to develop or strengthen your empathy, start by practicing active listening. This involves giving someone your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing understanding through words and gestures.) ah yes easier said than done
also was hoping this book would go a lot deeper and address examples of self sabotage that aren't just beginner ones or surface level kind of things
quotes:
- Being stuck is the direct result of letting someone or something else hold power over you
- “Giving power to your circumstances will always affect your thoughts, your mood (feelings), your actions, and the outcome. But in truth, circumstances don’t mean anything. They just are.” (not entirely sure what this one means)
- and therein lies the problem: our actions always determine our consequences – for good or for bad.
- ignoring our emotions is not healthy, either. Doing so can cause people to engage in negative behaviors that are detrimental to themselves or loved ones, behaviors such as drinking, eating, working too much, gambling, or other such bad habits.
- Conversely, acknowledging that you feel a negative emotion – for instance, anger – is good for you. And processing that emotion – by asking yourself why you’re angry, and then taking healthy steps to defuse it – is vital.
- “For the past two decades, experts who study technology have warned us that if we’re not careful, we will fall victim to “information overload.”[1] This phenomenon can cause our brain to get stuck, not knowing which way to turn next because our mind is trying to focus on too many things.”
- “Start by writing down one circumstance in your life that annoys or discourages you. Then, the second you start thinking about how much it upsets you, stop. Then, repeat the following: “This circumstance doesn’t mean anything unless I let it. And today I refuse to let it. It means nothing. It holds no power over my feelings, my actions, or my life.”
notes:
- Rather than assigning a negative meaning, consider these circumstances as temporary and manageable.
- For example, if you realize you’ve made a mistake in an email you just sent out, it’s easy to immediately spiral into frustration and self blame. But if you come to terms with the fact that the mistake has already happened, and cannot be taken back, why not use that moment to move forward instead.
- instead of brushing past small joys, like watching wildlife or catching a sunset, pause and reflect on them. The longer you intentionally focus on these moments, the stronger their positive effects on your brain, literally rewiring it to prioritize optimism over negativity.
- Reflecting on past hardships is a powerful way to deepen gratitude. Comparing your current circumstances to difficult times can highlight how far you’ve come, making today’s challenges seem more manageable.
- Start by identifying the habits fueling your negative thinking. Common patterns include filtering – focusing only on the negatives in a situation; personalizing – blaming yourself for events outside your control; and polarizing – viewing everything in extremes with no middle ground. Recognizing these tendencies by name is the first step toward replacing them.
- When balanced with self-care, empathy allows you to remain compassionate without emotional overload.
thoughts:
- (Barbara Corcoran, the entrepreneur and Shark Tank investor, knows this feeling well. After a devastating breakup, she refused to accept her ex-boyfriend’s prediction that she couldn’t succeed without him.) why is she even in this book
- did the positive thinking section need to exist
- (If you’re looking to develop or strengthen your empathy, start by practicing active listening. This involves giving someone your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing understanding through words and gestures.) ah yes easier said than done
January 28, 2025
How often do we feel stuck? And while the solution may seem obvious—“if you’re stuck with life or in a situation or a job you don’t like, then just change it”—it’s not always that simple. The process can be tricky, and without the necessary resources and help, we can easily lose ourselves in the struggle.
Help Me I’m Stuck by Vaughn Carter is a transformative read that provides practical tools to break free from inertia and embrace a life of growth and momentum. What resonated most with me was the emphasis on the power of mindset—how simply deciding to think positively and reframing challenges can help us escape the downward spiral of helplessness.
The book sheds light on fixed mindsets like filtering, personalizing, and polarizing, which often trap us in negativity when things go wrong. Vaughn’s approach to self-awareness and self-regulation as antidotes to these thought patterns is both empowering and actionable. By learning to recognize these mindsets, I’ve gained clarity on how to stop the spiral before it takes hold.
One of the most impactful lessons was the importance of empathy—not just for others, but for ourselves. I especially appreciated how Vaughn recognizes the need for empathy, not sympathy. Sympathy often robs us of fully understanding what someone else is feeling or dealing with, while empathy allows us to truly connect and offer meaningful support. This perspective helped me realize that showing empathy for others can also teach us to extend the same compassion to ourselves.
Mistakes are inevitable, and Vaughn’s perspective helped me see them as opportunities to learn rather than failures to dwell on. With empathy and emotional regulation, we can let go of the need for control, accept life’s unpredictability, and find joy even in imperfect circumstances.
This book is a must-read for anyone feeling stuck, as it provides not only insights but also practical strategies to regain momentum and live with greater purpose. Vaughn Carter’s wisdom has truly inspired me to embrace a growth mindset, show myself more compassion, and move forward with resilience.
Help Me I’m Stuck by Vaughn Carter is a transformative read that provides practical tools to break free from inertia and embrace a life of growth and momentum. What resonated most with me was the emphasis on the power of mindset—how simply deciding to think positively and reframing challenges can help us escape the downward spiral of helplessness.
The book sheds light on fixed mindsets like filtering, personalizing, and polarizing, which often trap us in negativity when things go wrong. Vaughn’s approach to self-awareness and self-regulation as antidotes to these thought patterns is both empowering and actionable. By learning to recognize these mindsets, I’ve gained clarity on how to stop the spiral before it takes hold.
One of the most impactful lessons was the importance of empathy—not just for others, but for ourselves. I especially appreciated how Vaughn recognizes the need for empathy, not sympathy. Sympathy often robs us of fully understanding what someone else is feeling or dealing with, while empathy allows us to truly connect and offer meaningful support. This perspective helped me realize that showing empathy for others can also teach us to extend the same compassion to ourselves.
Mistakes are inevitable, and Vaughn’s perspective helped me see them as opportunities to learn rather than failures to dwell on. With empathy and emotional regulation, we can let go of the need for control, accept life’s unpredictability, and find joy even in imperfect circumstances.
This book is a must-read for anyone feeling stuck, as it provides not only insights but also practical strategies to regain momentum and live with greater purpose. Vaughn Carter’s wisdom has truly inspired me to embrace a growth mindset, show myself more compassion, and move forward with resilience.
June 6, 2022
Life can throw curve balls and challenges even when life seems perfect. Everybody experiences times when they say, "I'm stuck,"
I have a strong familiarity with this feeling, the feeling of being "stuck." It's a time when my mind overpowers me and manipulates and makes me anxious; I doubt my worthiness and get confused. I want to move, but I feel stuck in quicksand; the more I push to come up, the deeper I sink.
Last month was one of those times when I was insecure and felt nothing was moving in my life, and then I received an opportunity to read the book "Help me I'm Stuck." By "Vaughn Carter." And it helped me to understand this "Stuck" feeling and shift my mindset from self-doubt to self-improvement.
Let's talk about the book; the book focuses on how little habits play a vital role in setting up our mindset. Carter said that being in a state of constant change is the best way to live a life. Quoting his words from the book, "Changes that will move the dial on their lives from mundane to exceptional."
He shared six proven methods or habits to overcome being stuck in the circumstances to live a happy, upbeat, and full of gratitude life. The book discusses simple changes such as watching sunset favorite kitten videos, practicing positive thinking, expressing gratitude, being empathetic and staying fit and healthy, and several others, and how they contribute to positive results.
"Help me I am Stuck" is good self-help that sends a message that it doesn't take rocket science to live a better life but simply implement a few changes in your habits. Though these habit changes are simple and easy, he acknowledges that practicing them needs some effort.
Overall, I like this book and realize how easy to bring changes and attain the life-goals. I will recommend this book to all who feel stuck in any phase of life, whether you are a student, working, retired, or dealing with a mid-life crisis.
I have a strong familiarity with this feeling, the feeling of being "stuck." It's a time when my mind overpowers me and manipulates and makes me anxious; I doubt my worthiness and get confused. I want to move, but I feel stuck in quicksand; the more I push to come up, the deeper I sink.
Last month was one of those times when I was insecure and felt nothing was moving in my life, and then I received an opportunity to read the book "Help me I'm Stuck." By "Vaughn Carter." And it helped me to understand this "Stuck" feeling and shift my mindset from self-doubt to self-improvement.
Let's talk about the book; the book focuses on how little habits play a vital role in setting up our mindset. Carter said that being in a state of constant change is the best way to live a life. Quoting his words from the book, "Changes that will move the dial on their lives from mundane to exceptional."
He shared six proven methods or habits to overcome being stuck in the circumstances to live a happy, upbeat, and full of gratitude life. The book discusses simple changes such as watching sunset favorite kitten videos, practicing positive thinking, expressing gratitude, being empathetic and staying fit and healthy, and several others, and how they contribute to positive results.
"Help me I am Stuck" is good self-help that sends a message that it doesn't take rocket science to live a better life but simply implement a few changes in your habits. Though these habit changes are simple and easy, he acknowledges that practicing them needs some effort.
Overall, I like this book and realize how easy to bring changes and attain the life-goals. I will recommend this book to all who feel stuck in any phase of life, whether you are a student, working, retired, or dealing with a mid-life crisis.
February 28, 2023
Another review mentioned this book reads like a buzz field article and they are correct. The book seems sporadic and not well thought out in terms of flow and how information is presented. I’m not sure why the author kept inserting “how?” “Why?” After each new sentence. It was disruptive to the flow, you’re obviously going to explain why so just do it. Felt like that guy who tries to talk to you on a bus but you just wish he would stop.
Also as an RD I found this book extremely harmful in terms of his constant references to diet culture and “fitting in to that red dress”. Tell me you know nothing about women without telling me…. That brings me to my next ick… I immediately wanted to stop reading when it was declared that he was writing this book because he’s had plenty of women friends become stuck… because men don’t have that problem? He also continued to insinuate that the only two life problems women can have revolve around weight or a man. Get a clue man. Please do not read this book for the sake of your mental health. And because the author did not bother: trigger warning to those who have struggled with disordered eating relationships with food.
Also as an RD I found this book extremely harmful in terms of his constant references to diet culture and “fitting in to that red dress”. Tell me you know nothing about women without telling me…. That brings me to my next ick… I immediately wanted to stop reading when it was declared that he was writing this book because he’s had plenty of women friends become stuck… because men don’t have that problem? He also continued to insinuate that the only two life problems women can have revolve around weight or a man. Get a clue man. Please do not read this book for the sake of your mental health. And because the author did not bother: trigger warning to those who have struggled with disordered eating relationships with food.
January 28, 2024
Overall, this book is great if you’re new to self help. I think if you’ve read other self help books, this one will be more of the same. Eat better, work out more, surround yourself with positivity. There are definitely some good strategies in this book, but I do not like the one size fits all mentality. The conclusion of this book literally ends with, this worked for me so I know it will work for you. I find that mindset to be very naïve. Everyone is different. I would say read this book and find ways to alter these strategies in ways that work for you. For example, every therapist ive ever had has told me that journaling will help me. It doesnt. Ive found I always end up spiraling and end up writing for hours only to find that I feel more angry and irrational than I did when I started. I think this book is definitely worth reading, just be careful to make sure that you interpret in a way that makes the most sense for your own life and your own experiences.
September 7, 2024
Summary:
The self-discipline is a skill you can cultivate.
Willpower is a muscle that can be strengthened with the right tools. Cultivating a growth mindset, regular reflection, and aligning goals with personal values are key. Practical strategies like digital minimalism, bullet journaling, and the Eisenhower Box method can help manage tasks and avoid distractions. Organizing various aspects of life, including finances and living spaces, contributes to overall discipline. It's important to recognize that motivation fluctuates, and different strategies are needed for high and low energy days. Understanding the science behind willpower helps in developing effective techniques. Environmental control and habit formation play crucial roles. Remember, self-discipline isn't about constant motivation, but knowing how to navigate both peaks and valleys. The goal isn't perfection, but consistent progress toward a more focused and fulfilling life.
The self-discipline is a skill you can cultivate.
Willpower is a muscle that can be strengthened with the right tools. Cultivating a growth mindset, regular reflection, and aligning goals with personal values are key. Practical strategies like digital minimalism, bullet journaling, and the Eisenhower Box method can help manage tasks and avoid distractions. Organizing various aspects of life, including finances and living spaces, contributes to overall discipline. It's important to recognize that motivation fluctuates, and different strategies are needed for high and low energy days. Understanding the science behind willpower helps in developing effective techniques. Environmental control and habit formation play crucial roles. Remember, self-discipline isn't about constant motivation, but knowing how to navigate both peaks and valleys. The goal isn't perfection, but consistent progress toward a more focused and fulfilling life.
January 2, 2026
Even though concepts in this book are simple and should be common sense, I think it is a good, simplistic review of how to live a satisfying life. I was able to relate to a lot of the examples in this book and appreciate focus on diet, since I am trying be more conscious of what I put into my body. I very much appreciate the overview of vitamins and what foods to eat to obtain them. Less focus towards aiming this book to women, as I know many males who would benefit from this book as well. I had to laugh at the example about going through the drive through and being late to work, but thinking its no big deal. I guess not everyone has an attendance policy and I would never be ok with being late to work. Anyway, it's a short read, helpful to those starting their Journey to become unstuck.
February 6, 2023
I enjoyed the book and picked up many tips I want to take advantage of and use. Negative thoughts and negative talk is so detrimental. When we start going down that path, sometimes it's hard to catch ourselves and reverse the cycle.
With the examples and steps to move forward in positive ways, I thing there's a chance to change and make improvements. The one thing I didn't understand though was why gear the book toward women at the beginning. I think men fall into the same cycle.
I thank Hidden Gem for the ARC. I want to pick up a hard copy so I van can tag the important parts that I specifically related to.
With the examples and steps to move forward in positive ways, I thing there's a chance to change and make improvements. The one thing I didn't understand though was why gear the book toward women at the beginning. I think men fall into the same cycle.
I thank Hidden Gem for the ARC. I want to pick up a hard copy so I van can tag the important parts that I specifically related to.
February 6, 2022
This book was captivating from the beginning to the end! It was full of useful tips and information that made me motivated to try some of the tips, especially changing my thoughts from negative to positive and being mindful. This book is one of my favorite self-help books and I will most likely read it again. The examples throughout the book were very interesting and helpful. There was no "fluff" in this book, making it easy to read and easy to grasp the information provided throughout the book. I loved it and I hope Vaughn Carter writes more books like this!
February 6, 2023
The book looks at six suggestions:
- Having a focused mind
- Positive thinking
- Gratitude
- Food and fitness
- Negative thinking
- Empathy
The advice are primarily for women and the book is very subjective, writing what is known and translating their suggestions on paper. The book has good intentions but the examples are extreme and unrealistic, so difficult to connect with the issues put forward on how to overcome them.
I received a free copy and am leaving a review voluntarily.
Thank you to Hidden Gems Books and author.
- Having a focused mind
- Positive thinking
- Gratitude
- Food and fitness
- Negative thinking
- Empathy
The advice are primarily for women and the book is very subjective, writing what is known and translating their suggestions on paper. The book has good intentions but the examples are extreme and unrealistic, so difficult to connect with the issues put forward on how to overcome them.
I received a free copy and am leaving a review voluntarily.
Thank you to Hidden Gems Books and author.
June 6, 2023
Hugest disappointment. SOOOO much emphasis on diet...? Which seemed to not have anything to do with the title or the concept. SOOOO little emphasis on real action. Any of the "real action" parts were essentially explaining the chapter title, in way too many words, not giving true, actionable methods, beyond "do this." We've been told "do this-" and we've all read these superficial methods-there is absolutely no help to be found here. Super basic--copied from every other lazy "self-help" book cover or boring Ted talk. Not new, motivating, thought-or action-provoking in the least.
July 8, 2022
I'm sorry this book just wasn't for me. I didn't really see that this book offered anything you couldn't find in a quick Google search on the subject and not much of practical use here. I just felt a lot of this was rehashing a lot of similar self-help book and wasn't written as well (there is repetition and some of the anecdotes and quoted facts just felt contrived). I felt a better book in this genre (although it doesn't just deal with self-sabotage) is Declutter Your Mind by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport.
May 2, 2023
Though this book has valid BASIC points, I found it very condescending, overly dramatic and at times down right laughable.
Though the author states, in some cases, the examples he uses are from “friends” the are very hard to believe or at least overly dramatic.
Having written this book after watching his “women friends” struggle. But yet writes about them in a stereotypical and condescending manner.
As stated in the beginning the book has valid points. But the manner with which he offers help and examples, to some, can be more damaging.
Though the author states, in some cases, the examples he uses are from “friends” the are very hard to believe or at least overly dramatic.
Having written this book after watching his “women friends” struggle. But yet writes about them in a stereotypical and condescending manner.
As stated in the beginning the book has valid points. But the manner with which he offers help and examples, to some, can be more damaging.
December 12, 2025
Halfway through and so far, Vaughn has helped me reflect a lot about how I matter and how the circumstances I go through are not in control of my feelings and my actions. it has kept me wanting to actually sit and read everyday since I've started it and also journal. Women or men can read this book, I feel. I'll be sharing this book with my cousins. I've even had my little "book club" discussion with my husband about how this book is such a great resource.
August 15, 2022
A great reminder
So I already knew most of the information in this book. On occasion she did go a bit deeper into detail, than I had already learned in other books. Regardless it was a good reminder to keep doing the right things. There were also a few things things she mentioned that I disagree with, but that's my own personal opinion.
So I already knew most of the information in this book. On occasion she did go a bit deeper into detail, than I had already learned in other books. Regardless it was a good reminder to keep doing the right things. There were also a few things things she mentioned that I disagree with, but that's my own personal opinion.
January 9, 2023
it is helpful love the part about vitamin and food .
As I own a few help book . This is very helpful and useful for me to work on . And helping others with limiting self behavior and beliefs. All in all I really did enjoy reading it .
As I own a few help book . This is very helpful and useful for me to work on . And helping others with limiting self behavior and beliefs. All in all I really did enjoy reading it .
February 20, 2023
Worth Reading
Very quick read with valuable information to help from getting stuck. Simple action steps. Worth reading for anyone wanting to get unstuck and anyone that wants to read a positive motivating book.
Very quick read with valuable information to help from getting stuck. Simple action steps. Worth reading for anyone wanting to get unstuck and anyone that wants to read a positive motivating book.
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