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Dark and Stormy Night (Bulwer-Lytton Contest)
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Final Conflict: Yet More of the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has been calling for entrants to write an opening sentence to a hypothetical horrible novel for many years. Based on the entries in this fourth installment of It Was a Dark & Stormy Night, the depths are still to be plumbed.
122 pages, Paperback
First published March 30, 1992
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 27, 2015
A compilation of first sentences. I loved this reference to Mike Hammer, and after my recent reading of that author, I totally agree with this description.
"Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear", a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death--in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."
"Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear", a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death--in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."
May 16, 2018
Hilarious! Occasionally a bit dated, but consistently funny, with some brilliant entries. I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series.
Favorite sentences:
"'What's another word for "thesaurus"?' exclaimed Beth as she thumbed through one of those books that give other words which mean the same as the one word you don't want to use again."--Christian M. Tessier, Cohoes, N.Y.
"Lyle's face could communicate much in a single expression, and as he stood in my doorway, he had that I-got-a-great-deal-on-some-Jets-tickets-but-I-need-fifty-bucks-right-away-because-the-guy-with-the-tickets-is-double-parked-downstairs-and-he's-in-a-big-hurry-because-he-thinks-the-Samoan-Mafia-is-after-him-but-he's-really-an-OK-guy-because-we-were-in-high-school-together-and-that-parole-violation-was-only-a-sneaky-technicality-so-can-I-have-the-money-right-away look." --Mark Biscuso, Eagen, Minn.
And the 1991 winner:
"Sultry it was and humid, but no whisper of air caused the plump, laden spears of golden grain to nod their burdened heads as they unheedingly awaited the cyclic rape of their gleaming treasure, for although it is not in Kansas that our story takes place, it looks godawful like it." --Judy Frazier, Lathrop, Mo.
Readalike: How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them—A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide.
Favorite sentences:
"'What's another word for "thesaurus"?' exclaimed Beth as she thumbed through one of those books that give other words which mean the same as the one word you don't want to use again."--Christian M. Tessier, Cohoes, N.Y.
"Lyle's face could communicate much in a single expression, and as he stood in my doorway, he had that I-got-a-great-deal-on-some-Jets-tickets-but-I-need-fifty-bucks-right-away-because-the-guy-with-the-tickets-is-double-parked-downstairs-and-he's-in-a-big-hurry-because-he-thinks-the-Samoan-Mafia-is-after-him-but-he's-really-an-OK-guy-because-we-were-in-high-school-together-and-that-parole-violation-was-only-a-sneaky-technicality-so-can-I-have-the-money-right-away look." --Mark Biscuso, Eagen, Minn.
And the 1991 winner:
"Sultry it was and humid, but no whisper of air caused the plump, laden spears of golden grain to nod their burdened heads as they unheedingly awaited the cyclic rape of their gleaming treasure, for although it is not in Kansas that our story takes place, it looks godawful like it." --Judy Frazier, Lathrop, Mo.
Readalike: How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them—A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide.
March 15, 2013
This was great. It is one in a series of books put together from contests to write the worst opening sentence imaginable for a book. Some of the entries had me laughing out loud, others shaking my head. I'm eager now to read the other collections.
October 13, 2007
I can still quote part of this. Great use of words.
July 8, 2014
They were the best of fake novel starts, they were the worst of same, etc.
January 7, 2026
The Bulwer- Lytton Fiction contest was an annual humor contest which operated from 1982 through 2025, this annual contest had been administered by the English department at San Jose State University in California.
Scott Ric, who had been a professor who used to teach at San Jose State University had originally created this annual contest back in 1982, Scott Rice had named this contest after the 19th century British author, Edward Bulwer- Lytton. Edward Bulwer Lytton was the author of the 1830 novel entitled "Paul Clifford," which writers throughout the world have been noting for the awkward wording of the opening sentence for nearly 2 centuries.
The purpose of the annual Bulwer- Lytton Fiction contest was to allow people throughout the world to enter submissions for sentences that they compose which are intended to be the most awkwardly worded sentences which could potentially have been the opening sentence to a work of fiction.
"It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Final Conflict" is the fourth book in the series of six (6) books which Scott Rice had compiled between 1984 and 2007 which list the intentionally awkwardly worded sentences that people had submitted to the annual Bulwer- Lytton Fiction contest.
If you are looking to read something that will make you laugh, all of the six (6) books that Scott Rice had compiled in this series will make you laugh.
Scott Ric, who had been a professor who used to teach at San Jose State University had originally created this annual contest back in 1982, Scott Rice had named this contest after the 19th century British author, Edward Bulwer- Lytton. Edward Bulwer Lytton was the author of the 1830 novel entitled "Paul Clifford," which writers throughout the world have been noting for the awkward wording of the opening sentence for nearly 2 centuries.
The purpose of the annual Bulwer- Lytton Fiction contest was to allow people throughout the world to enter submissions for sentences that they compose which are intended to be the most awkwardly worded sentences which could potentially have been the opening sentence to a work of fiction.
"It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Final Conflict" is the fourth book in the series of six (6) books which Scott Rice had compiled between 1984 and 2007 which list the intentionally awkwardly worded sentences that people had submitted to the annual Bulwer- Lytton Fiction contest.
If you are looking to read something that will make you laugh, all of the six (6) books that Scott Rice had compiled in this series will make you laugh.
February 11, 2018
There are some very funny entries scattered throughout. Also, the snarky responses (in the chapter headings) to the Bulwer-Lytton excerpts are amusing.
I agree with another reviewer who recommended reading this a little at a time.
I agree with another reviewer who recommended reading this a little at a time.
April 9, 2013
This is a collection of many people's attempts to write the worst possible first sentence to a novel, in homage to Bulwer-Lytton's "It was a dark and stormy night...". It's a fun concept, and a lot of the entries did make me laugh, but it's something that can really only be taken in in small chunks. It gets old pretty quickly, but it's still worth picking up if you come across a copy.
January 7, 2017
Too funny! I love these books!
January 6, 2017
Yet another collection (the fourth) of hilariously dreadful entries into the the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which awards the worst opening line to a (hypothetical) novel. Grouped into categories featuring metaphors, puns, lewdness, and other styles, this collection (like the others) is guaranteed to provide laugh-out-loud moments for both writers and readers alike.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews