Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids Sports—and Why It Matters

by Linda Flanagan

Longlisted for the Porchlight Business Book Awards 2022

A close look at how big money and high stakes have transformed youth sports, turning once healthy, fun activities for kids into all-consuming endeavors—putting stress on children and families alike

Some 75% of American families want their kids to play sports. Athletics are training grounds for character, friendship, and connection; at their best, sports insulate kids from hardship and prepare them for adult life. But youth sports have changed so dramatically over the last 25 years that they no longer deliver the healthy outcomes everyone wants. Instead, unbeknownst to most parents, kids who play competitive organized sports are more likely to burn out or suffer from overuse injuries than to develop their characters or build healthy habits. What happened to kids' sports? And how can we make them fun again?

In Take Back the Game , coach and journalist Linda Flanagan reveals how the youth sports industry capitalizes on parents’ worry about their kids’ futures, selling the idea that more competitive play is essential in the feeding frenzy over access to colleges and universities. Drawing on her experience as a coach and a parent, along with research and expert analysis, Flanagan delves into a national obsession that
A provocative and timely entrant into a conversation thousands of parents are having on the sidelines, Take Back the Game uncovers how youth sports became a serious business, the consequences of raising the stakes for kids and parents alike--and the changes we need now.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Sports, Audiobook, Family, Education

304 pages, Hardcover

Published August 23, 2022

Reviews

[Brian Kilman · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you talked to me in the past six weeks, I told you I was reading this book and told you something interesting I had read recently, if that's not a five star book I don't know what is.

[Emily Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting, well-researched, and well-written look at childrens' sports in America. I found the last two sections most helpful as they addressed what parents can do to help them and their child navigate this particular part of our culture.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

A report on the youth sports-industrial complex and how money is being made at the expense of families and young people. Most importantly, it describes what goes into making healthy young athletes, both physically and emotionally.

[Ashley Jane Barlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really spoke to me, as someone who absolutely loves sports. When the book discussed the bonding nature of workouts, the life lessons learned through team sports, and the happy memories that adults have of youth sports, I really connected to these sentiments. I mean my husband and I were just talking about how much we miss being in a soccer team. With that said, the author does a great job of highlighting the more corrosive and toxic aspects of youth sports and college sports. This book has given a lot to think about in terms of being taken advantage of as a parent to pay for the ever increasing cost of sports and for parents to become delusional about youth sports. This book has also served as a springboard for me and sports enthusiasts to discuss youth sports and how we can improve them.

I recommend this for parents of athletes as well as all the sport enthusiasts out there.

[North Landesman · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book filled with wise advice for parents of athletes in youth sports.
Main take-aways
Parents: have your own independent lives
Stay local
Kids should play more than one sport, both for mental health, and to prevent injury.
Club teams exist to make money, not for the betterment of your child.
Coaches who are older and are parents might be better than a 25 year old bro who yells frequently.
Listen to your kid.
Youth sports are about the development of the kid, not the parent.

[Melanie Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really well written and I liked that it wasn’t all sports bashing. I felt that it highlighted all the positives about kids sports while still sharing the negatives. You can tell the author values sports but recognizes that there is much room for improvement in our kids athletics.

[Christine Fitzgerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an uncomfortable read as a parent with children in sports at both the highschool and travel level. Good thoughts and somewhat of a wake up call, what are doing to our children with sports?

[Carrie McDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5
As someone who did not grow up in the USA, I’ve found myself raising my eyebrows at a lot of sports stories I’ve heard from my American friends and struggled to understand why so many of them had such complicated relationships to their sports. Now I understand why!!! This book did a great job at explaining the problem and the massive cultural divide between the US and what my experience was like in the UK (which inspired in me a lifelong love of the game). Crucially, unlike other sports and society books I’ve read, it offered and analyzed different solutions to pave a better way forward.

[Heidi Ostergaard · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have kids in sports or questioning if you should have kids in sports I t’s a must read! It covers the pros of sports and athletics but also the cons. I would say it’s overall advocating for sports/play that helps our bodies stay active over the course of our lives rather than a competitive all consuming atmosphere. A return to community ymca style sports that are for team building, fun, and a chance to move our bodies.

[Ali Jensen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm glad this book was written and hope it sparks books like it. There was a lot not addressed here, like how youth sports have served as childcare for many families and how most youth sports are hyper privatized, which can be a challenge for the author's call for regulations. There was also a lot of focus on family in this book, rather than community (save for one story). Flanagan had a slightly conservative lens (although totally valid), evidenced by family-first focus and a few too many David Brooks citations. I'd love to book club this book with others who played youth sports (or didn't).

[Ashley Szura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely don’t agree with all of her points but a lot of good thoughts

[Joe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good ideas, sympathetic argument, decent book.

The author laments how children's sports are so awful now that an obscenely high percentage of children have given up on sports at a very young age. That's a shame. Sports should be fun.

The main culprits are capitalists, college, and (less concretely) parents who have no meaning in their lives, so they try to find meaning in status boosts from their kids' sports achievements. The data are pretty good on the first two culprits; the third is told through some of the author's personal experiences and other somewhat anecdotal research. There are a few other culprits sprinkled throughout, such as the mythology about what sports can uniquely teach us (these are debunked; we learn that there are other ways to teach discipline, teamwork, "grit", etc., and that sports aren't really good at teaching that anyway).

There are plenty of interesting details: college admissions are corrupted by sports even worse than I thought, and parents spend more time and money on sports than I thought. I was interested to hear that children's early specialization into sports is very bad for their health. This makes sense: they are not well-rounded athletes when they spend all year training for the same sport, rather than getting a more balanced exercise through seasonal rotations.

I liked the brief detour to Bowling Alone , where the author reminds us that sports are good at generating social connections. She notes that kids are forced to put down their sports when they play sports, so they learn to interact with each other. I think this is an important point about extracurricular activities in general, but not necessarily unique to sports (e.g., drama kids need to put their phones down during rehearsal).

On that note, I wish the author had taken a broader look beyond kids' organized sports. For example, there was a while when it was easy to find young adults organizing games of kickball and dodgeball. Exploring this trend would have helped some of the author's points: I personally found that joining volleyball leagues or softball leagues in my 20s could be toxic because of how seriously people took it. They couldn't remember how to enjoy it. Kickball and bowling were more relaxed. And beyond sports, I think some of the trends that the author describes also exist in other extracurriculars. We had a drama "coach" at our high school, even in the 90s, who helped us get into selective schools in a similar way to how sports players were coached. Some of the specific issues about sports, such as Title IX, don't apply to other extracurriculars, but I think more comparisons like this would have helped me think through exactly what is going on with the nature of kids' sports.

It's not a difficult read. If you're interested, this is worth skimming and digging deep into the chapters that interest you the most. I found the first four chapters to be especially good, as well as Chapter 10 about what the author recommends that parents should do. I am not sure I agree with all of it, but it is a good voice to have in the back of my head as I make decisions about what my kids will do with sports.

[Christian · Rating 4 out of 5]

She does an excellent job capturing the systemic and sociological problems that have led to the problems in youth sports. I’ve been bothered by this for years as my son has gotten further into basketball. If you’re also troubled by what you see, this worth a read if for nothing else than to help you realize how ridiculous and unnecessary parental involvement in sports is today in the U.S.

[Beatrice · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's difficult to impart my opinion on this book, as my rating shifted section by section throughout it. This book starts strong, drops off, picks up again, and so on and so forth. For the sake of not having to write about twelve different reviews, I'll keep this succinct. I feel that this book doesn't deliver on one of the promises in its tagline, the money portion. While it is mentioned over and over again that youth sports have become a lucrative industry, we get very few looks into what exactly is being monetized. I didn't dislike this book, but I didn't like it either.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I agree with the premise of this book and enjoyed a bit of the history, I found it too long and it wasn't til the very end that practical recommendations for action and change were offered.

[emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

I totally did not partially read this whilst watching my twelve-year-old train for an hour with a private basketball coach.

So.

I am part of the youth-sports industrial complex, which is not a particularly gratifying feeling. Before reading this book, I’d never thought about or considered how much money was funneled into young athletes; I’d just sort of accepted it. You pay for your kids to do things. That’s just what you do. But it was eye-opening to evaluate just how much time and money is poured into sports—and for what purpose?

I don’t think we’re as invested in this ecosystem as much as some parents, however. Maybe this is just my attempt to rationalize? We’ve only ever done rec leagues and the coach is mostly because my kid wants to make the middle-school basketball team. I’ve missed games before (prefer to miss them, actually).

But there were three things that really stood out to me that I need to constantly re-evaluate:

First, that youth sports are for kids. Not for parents. Or should be, anyway. I do feel like I try to ask my own kids if they still want to do [fill in the blank], but I also wonder if I push them harder than I should just to get them out and doing something.

Second, that parents see the athleticism or glory of the kids as a reflection of the parents. This was a bit of an ouch moment. Because I have definitely felt that pride before or tied too much of what I do into the success or failure of my kids. And they’re not even that super athletic! Once again, it’s about balance, I think? And given the state of youth athletics in the US, I think that balance is getting harder and harder to reach.

Third, the role of colleges and sports. I don’t know that I’ve ever really thought about how much the crazy youth sports environment is because of colleges and universities dangling scholarships and the opportunity to play at an elite level. It was completely sobering. The nuclear option presented at the end of the book (getting rid of all college athletics) is, I know, a complete nonstarter, but I wonder how much that option would completely change the face of youth sports. I am under no illusions about my own kids playing at that level, but every twice in a while, I wonder, “What if?” And that changes much of the higher-education calculus. I don’t know. This carrot-dangling by postsecondary institutions is far more insidious than I would have thought.

Anyway. Thoughts all over the place, many of them conflicting. I liked that this book made me think, but I also found it slightly . . . irritating? at times. The author only ever seemed to discuss exceptional athletes or her own brilliance as a track star and didn’t focus much on average or below-average kids and the impact of the hyper-fixation on sports on them. I also would have liked a little more practical advice for parents on creating change from within, instead of jumping to the biggest and least-likely-to-happen solutions. There were some suggestions, but most of us are not community organizers or in positions to make big changes. How do we advocate for kid-forward sports in small ways? What has she seen to be successful?

So 3.5 stars, but I didn’t like it enough to round up. Definitely worth a read, though, especially if you interact at all with youth and children in sports.

[Travis A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author seems uniquely qualified as an expert in her field as a high level athlete, coach, mother and very intelligent person. Despite all those credentials I found the book very relatable and on point. It’s a painfully accurate portrait of what has gone terribly wrong with youth sports in the last decade or two, and I think she covered everything.

The mood sort of swung back and forth between positive yet reasonable optimism and horror stories to paint a broad picture of sports at its best, it’s worse, it’s common middle, and what we should strive to make it be.

What was really interesting to me was the deep dive into the money culture. It should’ve been logical and obvious to me, but I had always assumed this was being led by overcompetitive parents with no lives. But after reading this I understand more that youth sports is a reflection of anything else good in America; looted to a corporate husk by hidden money and special interests, leaving nothing behind for the regular people who need it most.

I found myself looking back at how vastly different and more fun my experiences were from those of my kids, and reading this helped me understand that we as parents do have a choice to not join the travel teams, not pay for the so-called “elite” coaches who depend on young athletes to make their living (and a damn good one at that), not reschedule vacations around summer camps, not force them to choose one sport year round at the expense of other experiences. I feel much better equipped to ask the right questions now, and to think more critically about what’s important to my kids as people as they navigate this unholy labyrinth.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

An eye-opening look into the adult and financial takeover of children’s and youth sports. I’ve wondered for a long time about American High School sports—an aerial view of most HS campuses (especially out here in the West US) shows a huge amount of space dedicated to sports (and parking lots) and a minority of space dedicated to actual spaces for learning. No wonder we’re losing our position in the global economy. Our kids can’t add but they sure can chuck a football. Sigh.
Flanagan gives a variety of anecdotal and documented evidence of how the mismanagement of sports is harming children and families. don’t get me wrong—she extolls the many virtues of activity and competition, but she also expresses valid concern about how too many young children spend too much time on the road to play; how ill-prepared academic athletes take college spots from young people who are far better prepared academically to thrive in a university environment.
She also notes how many parents are actually living life through their children’s sport activities.
Flanagan is a voice for sanity in the arena of youth sports. Much food for thought in this well-written book.

[Kelly DiNorcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every youth sports parent should make it their business to read this book. I have been working in youth sports for twenty-five years (right in Flanagan’s back yard, in a different sport) and I have worked hard to stay child-focused while watching the for-profit, win-at-all-costs model take over the industry. Privatization has created a “No Days Off” mindset that has nothing to do with the health and development of the players; it’s 100% driven by the profit motive of club owners, facility owners, coaches, and tournament operators. An increasing number of parents see this for what it is, but they are too often faced with a choice between early and extreme sport specialization or watching their player walk away from a sport they love either because they can’t keep up with their specialized peers in the short term or because their organizations require an all-or-nothing commitment.

I almost gave this book 4 stars because of the last chapter, where Flanagan offers systemic, unrealistic solutions to the problems that plague youth sports in the United States today. To my mind, the only way we can begin to address these issues is at the grassroots level. People who care about children and their long-term development as humans and athletes must hold their ground and offer a haven for those families who know there is a better way - if we build it, they will come. More importantly, parents need to understand how much power they have to change the system. It’s very difficult to push back when you are afraid that your child will suffer for your non-cooperation, but at the end of the day these coaches want to win and they want to make money (not necessarily in that order). Their power depends on families doing whet they are told, and if families stand up for their players - especially if they do it as a group - the system will start to change. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, especially when it comes to coaches who don’t want to deal with any of the extra-curricular parts of coaching children (which is almost all of them). Families control the talent and the dollars, and they therefore ultimately hold the power.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really applaud Linda Flanagan for taking on this important topic. As a mother, coach, and former athlete, she speaks from an informed mindset on a wide array to topics related to youth sports. This is thoughtful and well researched. The book is a really valuable read for any parents with children playing a sport, as well as coaches and others involved with youth athletics. My one note of caution is to read this with an open mind. I found great value in the book, but I often found myself disagreeing with points made based on my lived experience, as a parent and long time student athlete. Flanagan shares her thoughts in a way that, at times, left me feeling like there was less room for debate or alternative experiences. Lastly, I appreciate that she used the last couple of chapters to talk about possible solutions. Many of the actions were quite a stretch (IMHO) but I like that she is thinking boldly, and for the long term.

[tiffany greene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Speaking of attending EVERY game or meet: “ do yourself and your child a favor: miss the occasional meet. Skip the odd game. Model a happy adulthood and cultivate your own interests rather than feed off theirs.”

The meaning of discipline by Major Gen John M Schofield (1879): “ the discipline which makes the soldiers of a free country reliable in battle is not be gained by harsh or tyrannical treatment…such treatment is far more likely to destroy than to make an army. He who feels the respect high is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them regard for himself, while he who feels disrespect toward other, especially his inferiors, cannot fail to inspire hatred against himself”

Abolishing college sports, not really a viable solution in the US, but I whole heartedly agree that we’ve got to change the youth sports system…it’s nuts!!!

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much like the so called college craze for Ivy Leagues, seems like certain areas of youth sports have the same fervor.

This book was written by a cross country coach with decades of experience. She outlines where (some leagues) of youth sports went wrong and why some parents and kids give up their entire lives for High School Soccer of lacrosse. Spoiler alert..it's usually about the money. If not money...it's about parents warped vision of success for their children and a sense of pride.

All good things to remember as we slowly enter the sports circuit. Sports and play are important. They are not worth revolving your life around. And if people aren't happy doing it...it's time to go....

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid well-written and researched book. Confirmed some of my thinking and bolstered my resolve to try to make sure my kid gets exposure to lots of fun and varied lower-pressure sports opportunities.

I thought Lauren Fleishman’s Good for a Girl was a little more emotionally resonant and inspiring with some overlapping topics, but this one was broader, and I like the way it addressed solutions from systems perspectives. I was pleased to learn that some high schools and colleges are moving away from low-participation high stakes varsity sports toward high-participation fun club and intramural programs…that’s a movement I’ve been hoping someone would start for a long time.

[A · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a solidly-written, four-star exploration of how kids’ sports have morphed into a money-making, overspecialized, neurotic vessel for anxious parents.

I appreciated the author’s thorough research and clear-eyed look at what differentiates positive sports experiences from negative ones. In particular, her suggestions for individual parents & families were both meaningful and realistic.

I’d recommend this to anyone raising a child today, athletic or not, as the lessons can also be applied to any number of extracurricular activities!

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was fine! It’s not a topic I feel deeply connected with. I thought the author was a bit shaming to parents who devote a lot to youth sports. I don’t identify as a parent who takes my kids sports extremely seriously. But I also don’t mind if other parents do. There are a lot of things to get worked up about. Super involved parents/coaches who invest a lot of time and energy into their kids sports isn’t an issue that gets me worked up. I read it at the suggestion of a friend who I believe has had negative experiences with some sports.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Flanagan is on to something with her story of how sports have degenerated into going after the biggest buck for whatever bang we look to get out of many sports. She describes quite well what many of those problems are, and I was looking forward to her correctives. However, I just about quit listening when one of her early recommendations was the need to have a federal agency. I admit she had other things closer to the problem but she really did have this federal thinking that almost made me barf. If you keep that in mind you may enjoy her analysis of the situation.

[Cherylhuntperry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought-provoking, and I don't feel like a horrible parent after reading (which I usually do after reading any parenting book). Well-written. So many gray areas with this topic, but I appreciate the author's research and putting those topics out there for discussion. As a whole it reminds me of how much community matters. I think we often forget that we're all in this thing called life together! The author missed the cheer and dance worlds and I would love an extra chapter on how the NIL stuff in college changes things.

[Cindy Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Linda uses her experience as a coach and parent, as well as her vast wit and intelligence, to lead the reader on a journey into what youth sports has become. This journey is eye-opening. Linda's insight and optimism make the reader feel that all is not lost and she concludes with some interesting suggestions as how to fix the youth sport crisis we have created. This book should be mandatory reading for all parents, teachers, and coaches.

[Daniel Thewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have experienced sports as an athlete, youth, HS and college. I never viewed sport as an economy or damaging until becoming a coach and even more so now as a parent. The youth sports juggernaut certainly has a role in our kid crisis. This book offers some radical as well as simple changes for all stakeholders to consider.

For coaches interested, 3D Institute offers high level training for all coaches of any level.

Also, this read pairs nicely with "Inside Out Coaching" by Joe Erhmann

[Peter Yock · Rating 3 out of 5]

A helpful, if not alarming, read. A good chance to think through kids sport and how best to approach it as a parent, including all the ups and downs.

The book is written out of an American contest which makes a whole bunch of it not super applicable in Australia. But much of it is still really helpful. I suspect it’s be more relevant if your kids are more sport crazy than mine.

Still, helpful to reflect on the current issues in kids sports and how to be wise and involved as a parent today.