What do you think?
Rate this book
Hysterical: A Memoir
Equal parts medical mystery, cultural criticism, and rallying cry, writer Elissa Bassist shares her journey to reclaim her authentic voice in a culture that doesn't listen to women.
Between 2016 and 2018, Elissa Bassist saw over twenty medical professionals for a variety of mysterious ailments. Bassist had what millions of American women had: pain that didn’t make sense to doctors, a body that didn’t make sense to science, a psyche that didn’t make sense to mankind. But then an acupuncturist suggested some of her physical pain could be caged fury finding expression, and that treating her voice would treat the problem. It did.
Growing up, Bassist's family, boyfriends, school, work, and television had the same expectation for a woman’s voice: less is more. She was called dramatic and insane for speaking her mind; she was accused of overreacting and playing victim for having unexplained physical pain; she was ignored or rebuked like women throughout history for using her voice “inappropriately” by expressing sadness or suffering or anger or joy.
Because of this, she said “yes” when she meant “no”; she didn’t tweet #MeToo; and she never spoke without fear of being "too emotional." So, she felt rage, but like a good woman, repressed it. In Hysterical, Bassist explains how girls and women internalize and perpetuate directives about their voice, making it hard to emote or “just speak up” and “burn down the patriarchy.” But her silence hurt more than anything she could ever say. Hysterical is a memoir of a voice lost and found, and a primer on new ways to think about a woman’s voice, where it’s being squashed and where it needs amplification. Bassist breaks her own silences and calls on others to do the same—to unmute their voice, listen to it above all others, and use it again without regret.
Between 2016 and 2018, Elissa Bassist saw over twenty medical professionals for a variety of mysterious ailments. Bassist had what millions of American women had: pain that didn’t make sense to doctors, a body that didn’t make sense to science, a psyche that didn’t make sense to mankind. But then an acupuncturist suggested some of her physical pain could be caged fury finding expression, and that treating her voice would treat the problem. It did.
Growing up, Bassist's family, boyfriends, school, work, and television had the same expectation for a woman’s voice: less is more. She was called dramatic and insane for speaking her mind; she was accused of overreacting and playing victim for having unexplained physical pain; she was ignored or rebuked like women throughout history for using her voice “inappropriately” by expressing sadness or suffering or anger or joy.
Because of this, she said “yes” when she meant “no”; she didn’t tweet #MeToo; and she never spoke without fear of being "too emotional." So, she felt rage, but like a good woman, repressed it. In Hysterical, Bassist explains how girls and women internalize and perpetuate directives about their voice, making it hard to emote or “just speak up” and “burn down the patriarchy.” But her silence hurt more than anything she could ever say. Hysterical is a memoir of a voice lost and found, and a primer on new ways to think about a woman’s voice, where it’s being squashed and where it needs amplification. Bassist breaks her own silences and calls on others to do the same—to unmute their voice, listen to it above all others, and use it again without regret.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published September 13, 2022
129 people are currently reading
3402 people want to read
About the author
Elissa Bassist
9 books112 followersElissa Bassist edits the Funny Women column on The Rumpus.
She writes cultural and personal criticism, and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Marie Claire, Creative Nonfiction, NewYorker.com, The Cut, and more, a lot more, including in the anthology Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture, edited by Roxane Gay.
She teaches humor writing at The New School, Catapult, 92NY, Lighthouse Writers Workshop, and more, and she is probably her therapist's favorite.
Her first book HYSTERICAL (Hachette) is available now.
She writes cultural and personal criticism, and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Marie Claire, Creative Nonfiction, NewYorker.com, The Cut, and more, a lot more, including in the anthology Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture, edited by Roxane Gay.
She teaches humor writing at The New School, Catapult, 92NY, Lighthouse Writers Workshop, and more, and she is probably her therapist's favorite.
Her first book HYSTERICAL (Hachette) is available now.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 246 reviews
June 7, 2022
There is so much I relate to in this book. I feel like I could have written it myself. I deeply passionately connected with the author's experiences and emotions. It is unfortunate so many women will completely understand every single thing she writes about, because we shouldn't have to deal with it...but we do. Fabulous read. I feel seen and just so much solidarity. I am thankful I was able to read this. Absolutely recommend it!
August 28, 2022
An astonishing hybrid book that manages to be part medical mystery, part feminist awakening, and part hilarious personal essay, Elissa Bassist illuminates the causes and effects of a life tamping down her own voice. By using both her own story and pertinent research, Bassist weaves a compelling and convincing tale of how society can convince women to dial the volume of their own voices down until they can barely be heard at all. The fact that there are so many laugh-out-loud lines mixed in with the serious subject matter is a testament to the author's grasp of tone and the reawakening of her own personal writing voice. A potent mix of reporting and personal experience, HYSTERICAL is a must-read for anyone feeling muted by our current society.
April 3, 2023
The author narrated audiobook was like listening to a good friend spill an all too common narrative. Soo many women can relate to the frustration of the act of constant apologetic mode and the preconceived molds on what we, women, should “be” so we're not the “psycho crazy bitch” “hysterical,” or one of the other lovely names that have graced a man's lips … And yes, I was mad listening to it… it’s just gets things clicking on how fucking patriarchal everything is. I enjoyed the added statistics, research, and references to other experts and books.
Bassist comes across funny and down to earth with
recounts, focusing primarily on her writing career. But It's confusing, I wouldn't say this is a memoir? she uses her life as an example to go into a broader views of film, dating, politics, me too, incels, health, Prescription ghost dicks, language, mansplaining, etc.
I felt like the medical angle was just the hook for the book, and it wasn't the main topic whatsoever, so that was kind of annoying. Maybe that's for the best since she's at a significant advantage in that topic.
First of all, she had insurance, and she pointed out that most of her consults were NOT covered, but still, she could afford it. And it’s a fact that the author faces
substantially less prejudice with medical treatment as a well-to-do upper-class white women in America. She also writes about the ability to have various specialists and undergoes alternative medical care, such as acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, ocd specialist, trauma therapy etc.
Most patients in the u.s are not given that privilege due to cost and lack of resources. But I knew that going into the book, she also mentions the body keeps score more times than I would like….
I wish this was a more direct and raw look at the physical manifestation of trauma. But it’s one of many pieces of literature that can touch on the subject that desperately needs attention. So why stifle her voice? It’s a small piece of a large and jagged puzzle of women’s health.
So this is not what I would consider a groundbreaking thought piece. Toward the end it started to feel like she threw every feminist topic against the wall to see what sticks. But it will get the brain itching to go down a rabbit hole of the male-dominated healthcare/everything system. Have fun! 😩
Bassist comes across funny and down to earth with
recounts, focusing primarily on her writing career. But It's confusing, I wouldn't say this is a memoir? she uses her life as an example to go into a broader views of film, dating, politics, me too, incels, health, Prescription ghost dicks, language, mansplaining, etc.
I felt like the medical angle was just the hook for the book, and it wasn't the main topic whatsoever, so that was kind of annoying. Maybe that's for the best since she's at a significant advantage in that topic.
First of all, she had insurance, and she pointed out that most of her consults were NOT covered, but still, she could afford it. And it’s a fact that the author faces
substantially less prejudice with medical treatment as a well-to-do upper-class white women in America. She also writes about the ability to have various specialists and undergoes alternative medical care, such as acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, ocd specialist, trauma therapy etc.
Most patients in the u.s are not given that privilege due to cost and lack of resources. But I knew that going into the book, she also mentions the body keeps score more times than I would like….
I wish this was a more direct and raw look at the physical manifestation of trauma. But it’s one of many pieces of literature that can touch on the subject that desperately needs attention. So why stifle her voice? It’s a small piece of a large and jagged puzzle of women’s health.
So this is not what I would consider a groundbreaking thought piece. Toward the end it started to feel like she threw every feminist topic against the wall to see what sticks. But it will get the brain itching to go down a rabbit hole of the male-dominated healthcare/everything system. Have fun! 😩
October 16, 2022
Phew! What a tornado of topics and emotion this was.
I related with so much of it. More than I wanted to, which, sadly, I think most women will feel while reading it. Even when I felt somewhat annoyed with her. I’m sure that’s the ingrained patriarchy in me.
I didn’t agree with her on everything, I got very lost in the timelines and the unnamed males, but I’ve read a lot of the books she references and want to read most of the others so there’s a lot of solidarity here. How many of us have had this same trajectory, these same experiences. (It’s not a question.)
This goes off the rails a lot and I felt it overemphasized certain areas but it’s a primal scream of a memoir that needs to be heard.
I related with so much of it. More than I wanted to, which, sadly, I think most women will feel while reading it. Even when I felt somewhat annoyed with her. I’m sure that’s the ingrained patriarchy in me.
I didn’t agree with her on everything, I got very lost in the timelines and the unnamed males, but I’ve read a lot of the books she references and want to read most of the others so there’s a lot of solidarity here. How many of us have had this same trajectory, these same experiences. (It’s not a question.)
This goes off the rails a lot and I felt it overemphasized certain areas but it’s a primal scream of a memoir that needs to be heard.
July 24, 2022
A memoir built from essays, Hysterical is a feminist tome that made me laugh, as much from Bassist’s deadpan humor as from that instinct to laugh off your outrage. But, as I learned from this book, I’d do better to find a way to vent my anger. The author didn’t, choosing to stay silent, or to say “yes” for years, which played a role in her insoluble, long-term pain. Misbelieved by doctors, she sought a diagnosis for a long time before finding solutions through alternative means.
I remember reading Bassist’s essay in the Roxane Gay edited collection “Not That Bad: Dispatches on Rape Culture.” Here, she tells the tale of sexual assault, as well as gender-based harassment and discrimination at work, a challenging parental dynamic. Also affecting are her journalistic unpacking of the way women are mistreated, unseen, unheard, or in other ways treated as “less than” in media, medicine, and other arenas.
Highly recommended. Be ready to feel enraged.
I remember reading Bassist’s essay in the Roxane Gay edited collection “Not That Bad: Dispatches on Rape Culture.” Here, she tells the tale of sexual assault, as well as gender-based harassment and discrimination at work, a challenging parental dynamic. Also affecting are her journalistic unpacking of the way women are mistreated, unseen, unheard, or in other ways treated as “less than” in media, medicine, and other arenas.
Highly recommended. Be ready to feel enraged.
October 9, 2022
Not sure she could figure out what this book was supposed to be. It was a mix of memior, nonfiction, and essays filled with excellent research. But, the footnotes were so long at time stbey became distracting and at times felt really disjointed. Smart but not for me.
August 15, 2023
Ngl, during quite a bit of this book, I was curious where it was going. I mean, it was simultaneously informative, engaging, and infuriating, but I wondered what the ultimate point was. And then... the last 20%, it became a 5-star read for me. I'm pissed that this book has to exist.
April 28, 2022
Women make up 70% of chronic pain sufferers, and yet, are less likely to be treated by doctors for chronic pain.
Author Elissa Bassist herself suffered from chronic pain and had to seek the counsel of over 20 doctors in a two-year time span in order to find answers. It turns out the most poignant of these experiences came by way of someone who wasn’t an MD at all, but an acupuncturist, that told her that her pain was manifesting from an inner silencing. Miraculously, treating her voice actually did lead to reprieve.
Hysterical examines the ways in which women are silenced interpersonally and culturally, which leads to a silencing and internalizing of our pain. Worse, we’re often told that we need to speak up or make our voices heard in order to deal with mistreatment, abuse, or suffering. But all we have been taught to do is stifle our voices, leaving many women without the tools to advocate for herself.
This book is incredibly thought-provoking, provocative, and important. Roxanne Gay says as much, and when Roxanne Gay is endorsing a book, you know it’s worth reading.
Hysterical is currently available for pre-order and will be released on Sept 13. Thanks to @Netgalley and @hatchettebooks for the review copy!
_________________________________________
#hysterical #hystericalbook #NetGalley #NetGalleyReader #NetGalleyReviewer #NetGalleyARC #Bookish #Bookstagram #Bookworm #BookNerd #Bibliophile #Bookgram #BookBlogger #Bookstagrammer #Instabooks #BookReviewer #BookClub #BooksellersOfIG #LibrariansOfIG #BookClubResources #BookClubIdeas #BookClubFormats #mayreads #whattoreadnext #tbr #anticipatedbooks #roxannegay
Author Elissa Bassist herself suffered from chronic pain and had to seek the counsel of over 20 doctors in a two-year time span in order to find answers. It turns out the most poignant of these experiences came by way of someone who wasn’t an MD at all, but an acupuncturist, that told her that her pain was manifesting from an inner silencing. Miraculously, treating her voice actually did lead to reprieve.
Hysterical examines the ways in which women are silenced interpersonally and culturally, which leads to a silencing and internalizing of our pain. Worse, we’re often told that we need to speak up or make our voices heard in order to deal with mistreatment, abuse, or suffering. But all we have been taught to do is stifle our voices, leaving many women without the tools to advocate for herself.
This book is incredibly thought-provoking, provocative, and important. Roxanne Gay says as much, and when Roxanne Gay is endorsing a book, you know it’s worth reading.
Hysterical is currently available for pre-order and will be released on Sept 13. Thanks to @Netgalley and @hatchettebooks for the review copy!
_________________________________________
#hysterical #hystericalbook #NetGalley #NetGalleyReader #NetGalleyReviewer #NetGalleyARC #Bookish #Bookstagram #Bookworm #BookNerd #Bibliophile #Bookgram #BookBlogger #Bookstagrammer #Instabooks #BookReviewer #BookClub #BooksellersOfIG #LibrariansOfIG #BookClubResources #BookClubIdeas #BookClubFormats #mayreads #whattoreadnext #tbr #anticipatedbooks #roxannegay
September 27, 2022
The number of times I highlighted a paragraph and put exclamation points beside it. My god.
If you've ever felt like you weren't heard or believed, if you've ever been ignored in a meeting only to have a man repeat your idea and take credit for it, if you've ever shaken your head and lamented "Why in the fuck do I have to be attracted to MEN?," this is the book for you.
By way of exploring her own mysterious illness, Elissa finds a way to express the frustration and devastation women have been feeling for the past six years and then some. In prose both lyrical and literary, she defined my fury far better than I ever could. Highly recommended for pissed-off women everywhere.
If you've ever felt like you weren't heard or believed, if you've ever been ignored in a meeting only to have a man repeat your idea and take credit for it, if you've ever shaken your head and lamented "Why in the fuck do I have to be attracted to MEN?," this is the book for you.
By way of exploring her own mysterious illness, Elissa finds a way to express the frustration and devastation women have been feeling for the past six years and then some. In prose both lyrical and literary, she defined my fury far better than I ever could. Highly recommended for pissed-off women everywhere.
December 12, 2022
Hysterical: A Memoir by Elissa Bassist is an excellent book about the silencing of women and how rape culture and the patriarchy make it difficult for women to exist, let alone speak up. It all begins when Bassist gets sick and spends months being shuffled from doctor to doctor, her pain dismissed, her illness attributed to her mind. From there, Bassist digs into her abusive past relationships and bosses, writing in praise of women's anger and expression.
All this silencing creeps into doctor's offices, relationships, the workplace, mental illness treatments, diagnoses, social media, sex education, publishing, and much, much more. Bassist's fury is rich and inviting and familiar. She expertly breaks down the paradoxes of being a woman, of being caught in a place where nothing you can say can save you.
There were a few downsides. Her anger and wit are fantastic, but sometimes there's slippery presentation of more nuanced studies or facts. We share a similar reading list when it comes to sex and gender in healthcare, and I had a lot of "Not exactly..." moments with the way she presented some of her information. In other places, she would paraphrase a fact in her own words and I dearly wished there were notes pointing me to a source. The footnotes were too often simply continuations of rants rather than additional info.
I also wish she'd dealt a little more with the end thesis that while women are routinely labeled crazy or hysterical when they claim pain or illness, ultimately her trauma and the omnipresence of rape culture were indeed making her ill. It's important to note that emotional and mental states take root in the body as well, and her first illness story compliments this one well, so I wish they'd been examined a little as natural foils near the end of the book.
Ultimately, Hysterical was a great must-read for fans of Roxane Gay and other snarky feminist writers. I reviewed a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
CW medical trauma, suicidal ideation & suicide, self-harm, emotional and sexual abuse, sexual assault, workplace sexual harassment.
All this silencing creeps into doctor's offices, relationships, the workplace, mental illness treatments, diagnoses, social media, sex education, publishing, and much, much more. Bassist's fury is rich and inviting and familiar. She expertly breaks down the paradoxes of being a woman, of being caught in a place where nothing you can say can save you.
There were a few downsides. Her anger and wit are fantastic, but sometimes there's slippery presentation of more nuanced studies or facts. We share a similar reading list when it comes to sex and gender in healthcare, and I had a lot of "Not exactly..." moments with the way she presented some of her information. In other places, she would paraphrase a fact in her own words and I dearly wished there were notes pointing me to a source. The footnotes were too often simply continuations of rants rather than additional info.
I also wish she'd dealt a little more with the end thesis that while women are routinely labeled crazy or hysterical when they claim pain or illness, ultimately her trauma and the omnipresence of rape culture were indeed making her ill. It's important to note that emotional and mental states take root in the body as well, and her first illness story compliments this one well, so I wish they'd been examined a little as natural foils near the end of the book.
Ultimately, Hysterical was a great must-read for fans of Roxane Gay and other snarky feminist writers. I reviewed a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
CW medical trauma, suicidal ideation & suicide, self-harm, emotional and sexual abuse, sexual assault, workplace sexual harassment.
July 16, 2022
A book about the consequences of society's constant push to silence women. This memoir starts out as a medical mystery - Bassist is experiencing chronic pain that doctors are struggling to diagnosis. Unlike a lot of other memoirs that delve into gynecological problems, this one focuses more on various moments/themes throughout her life that exemplify the ways that society seeks to silence and oppress women. There were so many interesting insights here and lots of great accompanying research and sources. Ultimately, the author learns that her pain is linked to this need she feels to say yes (or rather to not say no). I really recommend this book!
I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
February 2, 2023
i want to shove this down everyone's throats and then scream at the top of my lungs.
*thank you to hatchette for the advanced copy
*thank you to hatchette for the advanced copy
April 29, 2023
Phenomenal. Thank you to Elissa Bassist, who discovered her voice and said the things I have been thinking/feeling/living, but was (yet) unable to say.
March 28, 2024
I want every woman in my life to read this book.
February 25, 2023
Dear Elissa -
This is SO not the review I wanted to write. I've heard you speak here in Denver a couple of times at Lighthouse Writers, and I was there at this book's release. That's how I know you are reading this review. I loved your reading and interview that night, and I love you and your great big smile and voice, which led me to believe this was a different book than it turned out to be for me. You are beautiful and hilarious - hysterical, in fact - and I expected this book would be too, but instead it was a very serious book about very serious feminist issues. And therein lies the rub for me: it was TOO feminist for me.
I am 30 years your senior, and came of age in the late 60's and 70's when "women's lib" was going strong. So I would never have believed, before reading this book, that maybe I am not a die-hard feminist, but after reading your long list of litanies against the patriarchy, and how stifled your voice was for so many years by the men in your life (and I am horrifically sorry that you had to experience what you did), I'm wondering about myself. I did not have the experiences with men or the partriarchy that you speak of. Of course, as a former working woman in corporate law firms run by men I had plenty of "me too" situations, but I never let them squelch my voice and silence me, nor have I personally experienced the "rape culture." The bottom line for me is that I honestly couldn't relate to your book.
I am so glad your book is doing well, and has over 4 stars on goodreads, I really am. I am glad my opinion is the minority one on here. And I wish I could give it 4, but in all honesty it was really 2 stars for me, but I'm upping it to 3 because I'd want to be your friend if we lived nearby. As an aside, I found the pages and pages of footnotes very distracting and wish they had somehow been incorporated into the main text. It stopped the flow for me when I had to read them, especially on the pages with several footnotes.
But most of all: I AM THRILLED YOU FINALLY FOUND YOUR VOICE, and I look forward to future books by you. Please don't hate me.
P.S. - I absolutely LOVE the cover of your book!
This is SO not the review I wanted to write. I've heard you speak here in Denver a couple of times at Lighthouse Writers, and I was there at this book's release. That's how I know you are reading this review. I loved your reading and interview that night, and I love you and your great big smile and voice, which led me to believe this was a different book than it turned out to be for me. You are beautiful and hilarious - hysterical, in fact - and I expected this book would be too, but instead it was a very serious book about very serious feminist issues. And therein lies the rub for me: it was TOO feminist for me.
I am 30 years your senior, and came of age in the late 60's and 70's when "women's lib" was going strong. So I would never have believed, before reading this book, that maybe I am not a die-hard feminist, but after reading your long list of litanies against the patriarchy, and how stifled your voice was for so many years by the men in your life (and I am horrifically sorry that you had to experience what you did), I'm wondering about myself. I did not have the experiences with men or the partriarchy that you speak of. Of course, as a former working woman in corporate law firms run by men I had plenty of "me too" situations, but I never let them squelch my voice and silence me, nor have I personally experienced the "rape culture." The bottom line for me is that I honestly couldn't relate to your book.
I am so glad your book is doing well, and has over 4 stars on goodreads, I really am. I am glad my opinion is the minority one on here. And I wish I could give it 4, but in all honesty it was really 2 stars for me, but I'm upping it to 3 because I'd want to be your friend if we lived nearby. As an aside, I found the pages and pages of footnotes very distracting and wish they had somehow been incorporated into the main text. It stopped the flow for me when I had to read them, especially on the pages with several footnotes.
But most of all: I AM THRILLED YOU FINALLY FOUND YOUR VOICE, and I look forward to future books by you. Please don't hate me.
P.S. - I absolutely LOVE the cover of your book!
July 14, 2022
“Hysterical: A Memoir” is for anyone who has ever been called hysterical, dramatic, crazy, psycho, and bitchy for speaking or feeling anything at all.
In a blend of personal narrative, critique, research, laughs, wake-up calls, compassion, life lessons, and literary pizazz, Elissa Bassist’s “Hysterical” responds to the urgency of the moment in which women’s voices are under siege and due for a revolution. #MeToo started something but it is far from finished and Bassist talks about issues that women of different generations will relate to. It will stir readers of Lindy West and Glennon Doyle, and sit on bookshelves next to Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey’s “She Said”, Roxane Gay’s “Bad Feminist” and Rebecca Traister’s “Good and Mad”.
Synopsis Between 2016 and 2018, Elissa Bassist saw over twenty medical professionals for a variety of mysterious ailments. Bassist had what millions of American women had: pain that didn’t make sense to doctors, a body that didn’t make sense to science, a psyche that didn’t make sense to mankind. But then an acupuncturist suggested some of her physical pain could be caged fury finding expression, and that treating her voice would treat the problem. It did.
Growing up, Bassist's family, boyfriends, school, work, and television had the same expectation for a woman’s voice: less is more. She was called dramatic and insane for speaking her mind; she was accused of overreacting and playing victim for having unexplained physical pain; she was ignored or rebuked like women throughout history for using her voice “inappropriately”.
Because of this, she said “yes” when she meant “no”; she didn’t tweet #MeToo; and she never spoke without fear of being "too emotional." So, she felt rage, but repressed it. Her silence hurt more than anything she could ever say. “Hysterical” is a memoir of a voice lost and found. Bassist breaks her own silences and calls on others to do the same — to unmute their voice, listen to it above all others, and use it again without regret.
Pre-order it now.
In a blend of personal narrative, critique, research, laughs, wake-up calls, compassion, life lessons, and literary pizazz, Elissa Bassist’s “Hysterical” responds to the urgency of the moment in which women’s voices are under siege and due for a revolution. #MeToo started something but it is far from finished and Bassist talks about issues that women of different generations will relate to. It will stir readers of Lindy West and Glennon Doyle, and sit on bookshelves next to Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey’s “She Said”, Roxane Gay’s “Bad Feminist” and Rebecca Traister’s “Good and Mad”.
Synopsis Between 2016 and 2018, Elissa Bassist saw over twenty medical professionals for a variety of mysterious ailments. Bassist had what millions of American women had: pain that didn’t make sense to doctors, a body that didn’t make sense to science, a psyche that didn’t make sense to mankind. But then an acupuncturist suggested some of her physical pain could be caged fury finding expression, and that treating her voice would treat the problem. It did.
Growing up, Bassist's family, boyfriends, school, work, and television had the same expectation for a woman’s voice: less is more. She was called dramatic and insane for speaking her mind; she was accused of overreacting and playing victim for having unexplained physical pain; she was ignored or rebuked like women throughout history for using her voice “inappropriately”.
Because of this, she said “yes” when she meant “no”; she didn’t tweet #MeToo; and she never spoke without fear of being "too emotional." So, she felt rage, but repressed it. Her silence hurt more than anything she could ever say. “Hysterical” is a memoir of a voice lost and found. Bassist breaks her own silences and calls on others to do the same — to unmute their voice, listen to it above all others, and use it again without regret.
Pre-order it now.
January 6, 2024
What a ride, but it definitely was worth my time. I’m amazed by Elissa’s skill to put all kinds of experiences in words that you could relate to. Also, love the books that make me feel angry but at the same time understood. “Hysterical” really provided on that.
And, I really appreciated that there were some insightful statistics, and not only the personal experience. Definitely puts everything in perspective.
And, I really appreciated that there were some insightful statistics, and not only the personal experience. Definitely puts everything in perspective.
March 28, 2023
Damn.
Women, your voice is your most powerful tool and weapon. Use it. Always.
Women, your voice is your most powerful tool and weapon. Use it. Always.
January 8, 2023
|| HYSTERICAL || #minibookreview
#gifted/@hbgcanada
•
'in a perfect world not a man's world or a woman's world I'd speak again easily and often, without overthinking or having to hype myself up in the mirror beforehand. My every word would be true, and I'd convey my feelings in ways that would both believed and revered.(Because mental health would be the most popular, celebrated topic of conversation.) I'd be free from the need to talk about men, men, men. I'd say no with abandon, and nothing more would happen. Or I'd say yes, and it would be because I want to. I wouldn't sanitize my wants, and I would want more.'
•
'In a perfect world I'd be so emotional, as I am. And I'd stop apologizing when I wasn't sorry, and I wouldn't be sorry for existing.'
•
A fantastic memoir! Sharp, funny, intimate and a universal story.
✍🏻
Bassist's writing struck me like punch. It was at once intelligent and compelling. I went into this memoir completely unbiased and was beyond impressed. Although I read this towards the end of 2022 much of this has stuck with me, its that kind of book, urgent and relevant. I can't reccomend it enough.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
#gifted/@hbgcanada
•
'in a perfect world not a man's world or a woman's world I'd speak again easily and often, without overthinking or having to hype myself up in the mirror beforehand. My every word would be true, and I'd convey my feelings in ways that would both believed and revered.(Because mental health would be the most popular, celebrated topic of conversation.) I'd be free from the need to talk about men, men, men. I'd say no with abandon, and nothing more would happen. Or I'd say yes, and it would be because I want to. I wouldn't sanitize my wants, and I would want more.'
•
'In a perfect world I'd be so emotional, as I am. And I'd stop apologizing when I wasn't sorry, and I wouldn't be sorry for existing.'
•
A fantastic memoir! Sharp, funny, intimate and a universal story.
✍🏻
Bassist's writing struck me like punch. It was at once intelligent and compelling. I went into this memoir completely unbiased and was beyond impressed. Although I read this towards the end of 2022 much of this has stuck with me, its that kind of book, urgent and relevant. I can't reccomend it enough.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
March 24, 2023
This was a really solid collection of essays. The author seems to take a lot of inspiration from Didion, and references her a few times throughout the book. Some chapters are lighter, and others feel like a punch to the gut-but all cover different topics of feminism. In my opinion, she also does a really good job of including intersectionality in her writing.
April 5, 2024
“Assault is a girl’s Bildungsroman.”
I have a parallel anecdote for nearly every one the author relayed in her memoir, and can only count myself lucky that they haven’t impacted my health to the degree they did hers. If you have felt powerless and dehumanized by the heterosexual narrative, you are not alone and should probably pick up this book (and get your ass to therapy).
I have a parallel anecdote for nearly every one the author relayed in her memoir, and can only count myself lucky that they haven’t impacted my health to the degree they did hers. If you have felt powerless and dehumanized by the heterosexual narrative, you are not alone and should probably pick up this book (and get your ass to therapy).
April 14, 2023
More white men on twitter need to read this.
March 5, 2023
I ask myself how a random woman could write 13 chapters and I relate to every single one. How can this random woman summarize my thoughts and feelings that I’ve struggled to articulate for so long? Why haven’t I made the connection between silence and mental and physical pain?
The answer is because we are women and society has expectations for us.
This book is so spot on I’m jealous I didn’t write it. I laughed, I cried, I laid in bed thinking about it. I couldn’t wait to read it because it was so relatable but I also dreaded reading it because it was so relatable.
To briefly summarize different chapters:
1. Women are gaslit as medical patients and are hysterical (just termed differently).
“If I rate my pain a two or three, do I mean that I thought about death only two or three times in the past week?”
“Whatever my pain felt like I was always going to say a three. And if I weren’t white the doctors would hear “zero.”
“If I did speak I spoke in the good female patient voice: the pleasant and accepting and grateful voice, the voice that wasn’t too assertive or too blunt or too cold, the voice that didn’t ask too many questions, and especially the apologetic voice. With every doctor I was just so sorry. I apologized for my unshaven legs. Apologies were not conscious, not willing, they just were, and I just did.”
2. How women converse with men in relationships
“In fawning I didn’t say what I meant so often that I didn’t know what I meant to say. Did I really care about what I said I cared about? Were my favorite books really my favorite?”
3. The socialization and behaviorism that occurs in women’s sexual experiences
“My vagina is broken, I hypothesized. Although under oath I would have said love has an analgesic effect and my empathy reaches a point where if sex feels good to my boyfriend, then it feels good to me, although it really feels like I won’t survive it.”
“Rather than fight, women blabber and take care. Rather than flee, women anticipate and manage a man’s feelings, assess a man’s needs and recalibrate. We are guilty of consenting.”
4. Womens experiences with men in power, specifically the workplace and inability to say no and speak up
5. Vicarious trauma that results from the entertainment of murdered women and the reality that it could happen to us
“It was so easy to imagine I’d die on nights like these because when you live in a culture obsessed with dead girls and a society where women are expected to hurt and are not supposed to survive, I couldn’t help but picture myself as one of them.”
6. Connection between using our voice and death
“What I meant by I want to die because I can’t write was that being inarticulate, being incomprehensible, being unspoken, having a subpar voice, was not a life worth living, and I felt in some sense I was already dead, or that by having a voice but not using it would be the death of me.”
The answer is because we are women and society has expectations for us.
This book is so spot on I’m jealous I didn’t write it. I laughed, I cried, I laid in bed thinking about it. I couldn’t wait to read it because it was so relatable but I also dreaded reading it because it was so relatable.
To briefly summarize different chapters:
1. Women are gaslit as medical patients and are hysterical (just termed differently).
“If I rate my pain a two or three, do I mean that I thought about death only two or three times in the past week?”
“Whatever my pain felt like I was always going to say a three. And if I weren’t white the doctors would hear “zero.”
“If I did speak I spoke in the good female patient voice: the pleasant and accepting and grateful voice, the voice that wasn’t too assertive or too blunt or too cold, the voice that didn’t ask too many questions, and especially the apologetic voice. With every doctor I was just so sorry. I apologized for my unshaven legs. Apologies were not conscious, not willing, they just were, and I just did.”
2. How women converse with men in relationships
“In fawning I didn’t say what I meant so often that I didn’t know what I meant to say. Did I really care about what I said I cared about? Were my favorite books really my favorite?”
3. The socialization and behaviorism that occurs in women’s sexual experiences
“My vagina is broken, I hypothesized. Although under oath I would have said love has an analgesic effect and my empathy reaches a point where if sex feels good to my boyfriend, then it feels good to me, although it really feels like I won’t survive it.”
“Rather than fight, women blabber and take care. Rather than flee, women anticipate and manage a man’s feelings, assess a man’s needs and recalibrate. We are guilty of consenting.”
4. Womens experiences with men in power, specifically the workplace and inability to say no and speak up
5. Vicarious trauma that results from the entertainment of murdered women and the reality that it could happen to us
“It was so easy to imagine I’d die on nights like these because when you live in a culture obsessed with dead girls and a society where women are expected to hurt and are not supposed to survive, I couldn’t help but picture myself as one of them.”
6. Connection between using our voice and death
“What I meant by I want to die because I can’t write was that being inarticulate, being incomprehensible, being unspoken, having a subpar voice, was not a life worth living, and I felt in some sense I was already dead, or that by having a voice but not using it would be the death of me.”
February 17, 2023
Hysterical was a big disappointment for me. I was so excited to read it and it just didn’t work for me.
In it Elissa Bassist recounts moments in her life where she sought out help from the medical community for undiagnosed ailments and she received little to no help. Like many woman can attest to she was ignored and labeled hysterical.
The problem with this memoir is that it tries to do so many things and Bassist does a poor job in tying everything together. It is a well researched book but I really just wanted to hear about her experience rather than getting all the statistics and definitions. She also references a bunch of other books that I would honestly just rather go and read myself rather than getting a summary.
Another area where this book didn’t hit for me was in the humor department which is incredibly subjective.
This is an incredibly important topic so if you want part memoir with humor (and it works for you) and a well researched book I’d say give it a try.
In it Elissa Bassist recounts moments in her life where she sought out help from the medical community for undiagnosed ailments and she received little to no help. Like many woman can attest to she was ignored and labeled hysterical.
The problem with this memoir is that it tries to do so many things and Bassist does a poor job in tying everything together. It is a well researched book but I really just wanted to hear about her experience rather than getting all the statistics and definitions. She also references a bunch of other books that I would honestly just rather go and read myself rather than getting a summary.
Another area where this book didn’t hit for me was in the humor department which is incredibly subjective.
This is an incredibly important topic so if you want part memoir with humor (and it works for you) and a well researched book I’d say give it a try.
September 13, 2022
I could feel the rage, love, and energy that went into crafting this marvelous memoir. It is a moving and clever exploration of the intersections of silence, violence, and sickness that many women experience. It is also a despairing and important reminder of what it is like to be a woman in a society that seems to only care about men.
I was sold on the title and cover alone, and after reading the effusive praise from Roxane Gay on the cover, knew I had to read this. The blurb gave me chills as I’ve had similar experiences with headaches and other ailments all while being told by doctors that I’m “fine.” Thank you, Elissa, for using your voice to write this. A must-read memoir!
Thank you very much to Hachette Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy.
I was sold on the title and cover alone, and after reading the effusive praise from Roxane Gay on the cover, knew I had to read this. The blurb gave me chills as I’ve had similar experiences with headaches and other ailments all while being told by doctors that I’m “fine.” Thank you, Elissa, for using your voice to write this. A must-read memoir!
Thank you very much to Hachette Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy.
December 13, 2024
Consider my reading drought OVER. I am BACK.
A fabulous memoir that captures the pain, loneliness, and frustration of living with a chronic illness & the intricacies of simply existing as a woman in a patriarchal society. Begging a few doctors to give this a read….
“I hated to be insolent, but I was not better or getting better or feeling better. The allegation of ‘better’ lost its significance to a person in a pain that no one else was in, a pain no one knows unless it brings them to their own knees on their own floor” (15).
A fabulous memoir that captures the pain, loneliness, and frustration of living with a chronic illness & the intricacies of simply existing as a woman in a patriarchal society. Begging a few doctors to give this a read….
“I hated to be insolent, but I was not better or getting better or feeling better. The allegation of ‘better’ lost its significance to a person in a pain that no one else was in, a pain no one knows unless it brings them to their own knees on their own floor” (15).
August 8, 2023
This book had a great message and hooked me in the beginning, but lacked in the body and conclusion. Many of the run-on sentences were redundant and lengthy, and as a reader your eyes begin the glaze over and you realize you didn’t actually retain anything. What also bothered me, is that she speaks of all these medical appointments and medicine but fails to really highlight the inaccessibility for many women in America. The idea was great, didn’t love the execution.
May 1, 2022
Review coming in Booklist! This was a tough read but really important (and funny in spite of the heavy subject matter! Love Bassist's writing).
August 25, 2023
Something is in the air folks. I've been craving books by women on topics that affect women and women's health. Give me all the "unhinged feminist" titles please.
Hysterical is one woman's account of her experiences with the medical system, a system and culture that doesn't listen to women's pain. Essays include her coming of age experiences, sexual awakenings, physical pain that doesn't make sense to doctors and how her voice was stamped down past the ground. Intertwined in these mini stories Bassist sprinkles in some humour and asks the reader some tough questions.
Behind the smile of every woman is some form of pain. Be it mental health related, physical, our monthly cycle wreaking havoc on our bodies in ways we may not even know or our changing bodies as we age, every woman has experienced pain in some form that society does not understand. Because society is rooted in a system to glaze over women's pain and our voices.
This was a heavy hitting memoir but that's the way I like them best. Bassist's voice flew off the page and immediately connected with me. It's nice to know that we're not alone and we are slowly moving the needle. I read a statistic on the evening news the other day that women's equality will reach "true equality" in another 200 years. It's a long road ahead of us but our children will be the daughters of the women they couldn't quiet, in reference to "we are the granddaughters of the women you didn't burn".
Highly recommend Hysterial, 4 stars. Thank you @hbgcanada for sending a copy my way!
Hysterical is one woman's account of her experiences with the medical system, a system and culture that doesn't listen to women's pain. Essays include her coming of age experiences, sexual awakenings, physical pain that doesn't make sense to doctors and how her voice was stamped down past the ground. Intertwined in these mini stories Bassist sprinkles in some humour and asks the reader some tough questions.
Behind the smile of every woman is some form of pain. Be it mental health related, physical, our monthly cycle wreaking havoc on our bodies in ways we may not even know or our changing bodies as we age, every woman has experienced pain in some form that society does not understand. Because society is rooted in a system to glaze over women's pain and our voices.
This was a heavy hitting memoir but that's the way I like them best. Bassist's voice flew off the page and immediately connected with me. It's nice to know that we're not alone and we are slowly moving the needle. I read a statistic on the evening news the other day that women's equality will reach "true equality" in another 200 years. It's a long road ahead of us but our children will be the daughters of the women they couldn't quiet, in reference to "we are the granddaughters of the women you didn't burn".
Highly recommend Hysterial, 4 stars. Thank you @hbgcanada for sending a copy my way!
September 30, 2022
This book was heartbreakingly truthful and I believe any woman can relate to this. This is a memoir about Elissa Bassist’s lost voice and how she found it. The book also dives into the life of women and where/how they are being silenced.
“These simplified images,like objectification, make a person less than human without visual effects. A stereotype is a sight to be seen and not heard and is not worth anyone’s empathy or vote or news story. A stereotype can’t speak for herself because others do that for her. A stereotype is a cross between flesh and a free sample, an outlet for dick, a joke, unable to hurt or heal. And because a stereotype is a thing, not a person, she’s easier to touch, easier to harm, easier to forget.”
“These simplified images,like objectification, make a person less than human without visual effects. A stereotype is a sight to be seen and not heard and is not worth anyone’s empathy or vote or news story. A stereotype can’t speak for herself because others do that for her. A stereotype is a cross between flesh and a free sample, an outlet for dick, a joke, unable to hurt or heal. And because a stereotype is a thing, not a person, she’s easier to touch, easier to harm, easier to forget.”
Displaying 1 - 30 of 246 reviews