What You Feel Is Not All There Is: Free your choices and your life from the default world of the emotional matrix

by Aprilia West

Life is a series of moments of choice. You make up to 35,000 choices each day, each of which shapes the way your life unfolds. Yet, you may not realize how much more capable you are and how much more is possible. In fact, you are operating in the simulation of the emotional default world where forces other than your deepest interests, desires and yearnings shape what you do in each moment-forces that may help you survive, but not necessarily thrive. 

The good news is you have the technology to unplug from the emotional matrix. You can become skillful with your emotional life and become a boss-level choice maker-to bring to life what really matters in any moment. As you increase your emotional efficacy, you'll naturally become millions of moments of choice more powerful, even in the face of stress, challenges and pain. 

Grounded in evidence-based research and positive psychology, What You Feel Is Not All There Is delivers an engaging and powerful self-help guide for anyone who wants to navigate their emotions and choices more skillfully. In this book, you'll learn  

differentiate emotional signals from emotional noise rewire unhelpful patterns of behavior design actions that align with your innermost interests, desires, and yearnings imagine and unlock your full potential 

344 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 29, 2021

Reviews

[Todd Kashdan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Regardless of whether you are well-versed in writings on emotional intelligence and agility, mindfulness, and coping with stress and adversity, you must understand how enjoyable and useful this book is. Aprilia isn't like other folks. She has a gift for illuminating complex evidence-based ideas through memorable examples and stories. She offers powerful questions and experiential exercises that will enhance your life. If everyone wrote with this level of clarity and poignancy the world would be a healthier place.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read my share of self-help books. Enough to say that this is the best one I have ever read. Why? Because she talks about the source of emotions, what triggers them, how to deal with the triggers, and then gives practical advice. (Too many books tell you stuff that turns out to be difficult in practice, or is so superficial it’s semi-worthless. You end up having to learn everything on your own.) She also acknowledges the difficulties you may encounter, that often you have to prioritize (choosing one path over another), and then how to do that.

There are examples of therapy sessions which are like being in one in real life.

And if you are a writer yourself, and write these kinds of non-fiction books, consider her approach as an example of one well done.

[Josh Cherin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compass For Emotions

I feel blessed to have discovered this sublime book. As someone whose overwhelming emotions have led to poor - and sometimes disastrous - choices, finding Dr. West’s practical guide has helped me see beyond the patterns that have driven me to make the same mistakes again and again. I am becoming much more able to choose the things I want, identify what is negative, and have a more fulfilling life. A great book!

[talkingtotess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Get ready for lots of matrix metaphors.

This is a great resource if you prefer to steer away from lots of clinical jargon, while still learning quite a few CBT and DBT skills that are helpful in assisting with emotional regulation. The author provides exercises throughout the text to help build your self-regulation muscles and learn not to react but rather respond to your emotional experience(s).

[callie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book included a lot of great acronyms and mnemonics that allowed me to easily access the concepts in daily life. I am a big fan of exposure, skills practice, values work, and behavioural psych generally, so I appreciated seeing these blended together throughout the book. This book uses language that appeals to young adults, I believe, and the simple and trendy language was a bit off-putting at times. Yet, it was also great to see how complex ideas could be explained in this way.