Sex should be "an experience to be relished from beginning to end," says Lou Paget in How to Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques That Will Blow His Mind. Paget (a woman) aims "to empower you as a woman, heighten the intimacy of your romantic relationship, and enable you and your partner to enjoy yourselves in intense new ways." She lives up to that promise with this friendly, titillating, educational, and explicit guide to enlivening your sex life and keeping your man coming back for more. Is he a bad kisser? Learn an easy strategy to get him to kiss you just the way you like it. Does he object to using a condom? Use your mouth to put it on him (a six-step process, complete with illustrations). You'll find information you might not find anywhere else, such as dozens of explicit manual and oral techniques (many illustrated) that will drive him crazy, a comparison of different brands of lubricant for different uses (along with sexy ways to apply it), techniques for anal stimulation, and a guide to sex toys. This book is fun to read, and will certainly open up the sensuality in your relationship. --Joan Price
Lou Paget hat für ihre Leserinnen und Seminarteilnehmer keine Mühe gescheut: sie hat Fachliteratur gelesen, Filme und Pornos angesehen, um sich für ihre Seminare fit zum Thema menschliche Sexualität zu machen. Sie stellte fest, dass seit Zeiten des indischen Kamasutra alle Informationen aus männlicher Sicht verfasst wurden. Ihr Ratgeber im klassischen amerikanischen Stil "Ein 44-jähriger Rechtsanwalt aus Boston sagte mir..." trägt zur Erotik zwischen Mann und Frau leider keine neuen Perspektiven bei. Gegen Pagets leicht betuliche Ratschläge, die brauchbar illustriert sind, spricht nichts. Wenn frau es sich mit ihrem Partner gemütlich macht und ihn nach seinen Wünschen und Empfindungen FRAGT, erfährt sie vermutlich mehr.
Auffällig ist Pagets Verklemmtheit bei vorgegebener verbaler Offenheit und ihre merkwürdige Moral. Wenn es um HIV und sexuell übertragbare Krankheiten geht, fordert sie Frauen auf, nichts zu tun und sich zu nichts erpressen zu lassen, das sie nicht selbst verantworten können. Beim Thema Liebestechniken ist auffallend häufig davon die Rede, dass frau sich überwinden müsse, Ihm zu Gefallen etwas zu tun. Pagets Anregung, dem Partner zu verheimlichen, woher frau ihre frisch erworbene sexuelle Experimentierfreude hat, finde ich ziemlich merkwürdig. Das für Gesundheit und Sexualität wichtige Thema Beckenboden wird leider so kurz gestreift, dass der Informationsgehalt nahe Null bleibt. Das Kapitel Spielzeug ist ähnlich nichtssagend.
Ob ein im Stil "Ein 44-jähriger Rechtsanwalt..." geschriebener Ratgeber zufriedene deutsche Leser finden kann und ob Verliebte das Küssen aus Büchern lernen werden, bleibt fraglich. Einige blamable stilistische Schnitzer des Buches könnten Übersetzungs- oder Lektorats-Mängel sein. Auf Seite 92 beschreibt Paget Kondome "aus Naturmaterialien, die aus Tiermembranen" hergestellt sind (sie meint damit Schafsdarm). Mißverständliche Aussagen wie auf Seite 87 "Wenn es um den Schutz vor Schwangerschaft geht, können Sie das Verhütungsmittel einige Male vergessen, ohne dass etwas passiert" gehören nicht in einen seriösen Ratgeber.
About ten years ago I finally left (for good) the cheating asshole biker I had been with since high school. All that time with him piled on top of a lot of childhood sexual baggage meant that my sexual self-esteem was pretty much nonexistent. However, I had met a young (hothothot in the nerdy way that I like) guy and was planning on having sex with him eventually, but I wanted to know that I was doing it well. So, I bought this book, some Astroglide, and a cucumber from the market (as Lou suggests) to practice on, and by all accounts my oral (and other) sex skills (with men anyway) are unsurpassed.
:)
Seriously, though, this book was part of that time when I was making my first terrified steps towards recovery and growth. Sexuality and sexual/body confidence were all wrapped up in that, so Lou's book ended up being a lot more for me than just a how-to manual. (But it is EXCELLENT as a how-to manual! *wink*)
I read this book in 1999 when I heard it discussed on a radio staion and the "classes" the author teaches. I loved this book and it gave me some "mad skills" in some areas where before I was clueless. Over the years I have given this book to several friends...and gotten several Thank You cards after. If you think know everything there is to know, read this book!
Ich habe dieses Buch vor 15(!) Jahren gekauft (ich weiß sogar noch, in welchem Buchladen in Weimar und dass es ein sonniger Sommertag war - Dank geht an mein Hirn) und gelesen. Damals, in der Steinzeit des Internets, vor youporn etc., kam es uns allen wie ultrageheimes Wissen vor. Jetzt habe ich es wieder hervorgekramt, weil Margarete Stokowski es in Untenrum frei erwähnt, weil es in ihrer Jugend auch ähnlich ankam. Aus heutiger Sicht soll es aber viel Überholtes bis Grenzwertiges enthalten. Kann jetzt nur sagen: Stokowski hat damit vollkommen Recht. Die Techniken schaden sicher nicht, der Rest ist eigentlich überflüssig. Generelle Weisheit: Machen ist besser als lesen.
I bought this for one euro thinking it could be a bit of fun, and in some ways it was. I also knew the book is very old so I was expecting some sexism. I wasn't expecting racism as well.
+ The book is generally body positive and has a progressive outlook on some things such as safer sex and anal sex. It's fast paced and entertaining.
- The book is written around the idea of a housewive waiting around for her husband to come home to bring him pleasure. It's obviously heteronormative. It also puts waay to much emphasis on handjobs compared to oral sex or penetrative sex. There are huge generalisations such as "remember ladies, men are visual creatures" and also too much emphasis on technique considering it's not always well explained.
Fuori piove e uso delle lucine per leggere questo libro che molti direbbero “disgustoso” o “indecente”. E invece scopro molto rispetto. Si parla sì di rapporti intimi. Ma sopratutto di consapevolezza, di salute, di trattarsi bene, di consenso,… Un capitolo intero dedicato alle malattie. E ogni tre per due si specifica “non per tutti” “deve piacerti” “sentiti libera di dire di no” “non tutte lo vogliono” “fai solo ciò che ti senti” “puoi scegliere”. Insomma come diventare “un grande amante”… di noi stessi!
È un libro un po' datato (prima edizione 1999) per cui alcuni concetti sono un po' vecchi o sono stati smentiti da ricerche successive - per non parlare del linguaggio che oggi risulta un po' cringe. Ci sono però informazioni utili da cui prendere spunto. Solo spunto! Siamo tutti diversi e quanto descritto nel libro non può essere considerato un vademecum preciso o la bibbia.
Probablement considéré comme satisfaisant à sa sortie mais 20 ans plus tard… le discours est quelque peu dépassé (peu inclusif, trop « normé »). J’avais beaucoup « d’espoir » pour cette lecture puisqu’écrit par une femme mais non… c’est un flop pour moi. Je l’ai termine plus qu’en diagonal.
Met a lady recently who fried my mind. Turns out I was a guinea pig for techniques found in this book. After over viewing the book I'm looking forward to other tests! Ladies, this is the only book you really need to please the average guy. Enjoy!
Questo libro raccoglie il materiale dei seminari dell’autrice, durante i quali ha dissolto dubbi e perplessità, insegnando anche qualche simpatico trucchetto, a centinaia di donne americane. E' un libro molto ironico e rientra perfettamente nell'ottica di vivere il sesso con leggerezza (non con superficialità), superando tabù e sensi di colpa. E' una lettura molto simpatica e aiuta a vedere e ad affrontare questi argomenti con un diverso punto di vista.
Lou is a friend and I recommend all of her books. She once asked me a very good question, "Why do you think we don't have a word like 'Feminist' for men who advocate for male causes?" She brings sex back to a place of normalcy, health, and the bonding glue in our relationships. Thanks for your hard work and genius Lou. BTY, Lou is a scientist with biology degrees.
Not so much new stuff - but I learned about lubricants - and got one or two nice ideas.. Really nicely written and I think it'll help you a lot when you are insecure.
As always I think: Knowledge helps to beat stage-fright.. ;")
Have bought this book 3 times now and it's still not on my shelves because it's very borrowable... I probably learned the most from this book over any book on my shelf!