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Miss Memory Lane
A brutally honest and moving memoir of lust, abuse, addiction, stardom, and redemption from Arrow and Teen Wolf actor Colton Haynes.
Four years ago, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost the sight in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatry hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday.
As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time in years and with that, discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him. But what would they think if they knew his true story? If they knew where he came from and the things he had done?
Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows. From his unorthodox childhood in a small Kansas town, to coming to terms with his sexuality, he keeps nothing back.
By sixteen, he had been signed by the world’s top modeling agency and his face appeared on billboards. But he was still a broke, lonely, confused teenager, surrounded by people telling him he could be a star as long as he never let anyone see his true self. As his career in television took off, the stress of wearing so many masks and trying to please so many different people turned his use of drugs and alcohol into full-blown addiction.
A lyrical and intimate confession, apology, and cautionary tale, Miss Memory Lane is an unforgettable story of dreams deferred and dreams fulfilled; of a family torn apart and rebuilt; and of a man stepping into the light as no one but himself.
Four years ago, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost the sight in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatry hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday.
As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time in years and with that, discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him. But what would they think if they knew his true story? If they knew where he came from and the things he had done?
Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows. From his unorthodox childhood in a small Kansas town, to coming to terms with his sexuality, he keeps nothing back.
By sixteen, he had been signed by the world’s top modeling agency and his face appeared on billboards. But he was still a broke, lonely, confused teenager, surrounded by people telling him he could be a star as long as he never let anyone see his true self. As his career in television took off, the stress of wearing so many masks and trying to please so many different people turned his use of drugs and alcohol into full-blown addiction.
A lyrical and intimate confession, apology, and cautionary tale, Miss Memory Lane is an unforgettable story of dreams deferred and dreams fulfilled; of a family torn apart and rebuilt; and of a man stepping into the light as no one but himself.
255 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 31, 2022
172 people are currently reading
7268 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 508 reviews
June 11, 2022
I wrote this book…but I’m so excited to read it again…for the millionth time lol. Am I up at 2am writing a review of my own book in the comment section…yes. Will you cry your eyes out & love this book so much that you’ll tell everyone you know to read it as well…I HOPE 😂 ❤️
May 31, 2022
HAPPY PUB DAY, just in time for Pride Month!
First of all, I have to give props to Colton because this could not have been an easy memoir to write, but I believe it is a necessary one.
The first half (or so) of the book focuses on his childhood which reads like a family drama, and I had to keep reminding myself this was an actual person’s memoir because I couldn’t believe some of the things that occurred.
Colton discovers sex at a young age and quickly develops an unhealthy relationship with sex. This evolves into an adult Colton who gives us a very eye-opening account of just how much ‘sex sells’ in Hollywood.
As someone who’s been a fan of Colton for years (and yes, was a celeb crush of mine, I’ll admit it), I had no idea that he came out as gay as a teenager and was even engaged to a man upon starting his modeling career. However when he began pursuing acting he was told to go back into the closet, and to tone down his voice and mannerisms to appear ‘straighter’. Sex, alcohol, and drug addictions were secretly deteriorating him behind the scenes as he had to keep his authentic life hidden.
Haynes gives us a very real portrait of what it’s like to be LGBTQ in Hollywood, and some of its realities will shock you.
First of all, I have to give props to Colton because this could not have been an easy memoir to write, but I believe it is a necessary one.
The first half (or so) of the book focuses on his childhood which reads like a family drama, and I had to keep reminding myself this was an actual person’s memoir because I couldn’t believe some of the things that occurred.
Colton discovers sex at a young age and quickly develops an unhealthy relationship with sex. This evolves into an adult Colton who gives us a very eye-opening account of just how much ‘sex sells’ in Hollywood.
As someone who’s been a fan of Colton for years (and yes, was a celeb crush of mine, I’ll admit it), I had no idea that he came out as gay as a teenager and was even engaged to a man upon starting his modeling career. However when he began pursuing acting he was told to go back into the closet, and to tone down his voice and mannerisms to appear ‘straighter’. Sex, alcohol, and drug addictions were secretly deteriorating him behind the scenes as he had to keep his authentic life hidden.
Haynes gives us a very real portrait of what it’s like to be LGBTQ in Hollywood, and some of its realities will shock you.
June 15, 2022
Wow.
This was such an intense, heart beating fast, beautiful book. I couldn't put it away. It actually frustrated me that I had to stop reading this because I had to go to work. I've been a fan of Colton for a long time and this read just made me a bigger fan.
This was such an intense, heart beating fast, beautiful book. I couldn't put it away. It actually frustrated me that I had to stop reading this because I had to go to work. I've been a fan of Colton for a long time and this read just made me a bigger fan.
May 2, 2022
Colton Haynes’ memoir is a very heavy read. It deals with a lot of addiction, complicated familial relationships, homophobia, abuse, and being sexualized at a young age. Colton’s writing was really engaging and brought all the emotions and situations to life. His life growing up and then starting to model as a teenager were a large focus within the book.
I think if someone was going into this mainly wanting behind the scenes stories about Teen Wolf or Arrow then they might be disappointed by how not a lot of page time is dedicated to that. While those shows do get mentions, it’s not the typical actor memoir style where there’s a lot of fun stories about shooting different episodes and whatnot. With Colton’s memoir it’s more about how he was feeling being in the closet and spiraling out of control in the background while those shows were going on. I appreciated getting a different look into an actor’s life and seeing how crushing it was for him when people on his team were convincing him that he couldn’t be open about being gay.
I did feel like at times when the book would skip forward by a few years that I was missing out on a lot of context when things would just be mentioned in passing. It just made some parts of the book feel lopsided when certain things would be written about in depth and then something else that seemed like a big event was only given a couple of sentences. But overall I think this was a really interesting memoir and definitely worth checking out.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I think if someone was going into this mainly wanting behind the scenes stories about Teen Wolf or Arrow then they might be disappointed by how not a lot of page time is dedicated to that. While those shows do get mentions, it’s not the typical actor memoir style where there’s a lot of fun stories about shooting different episodes and whatnot. With Colton’s memoir it’s more about how he was feeling being in the closet and spiraling out of control in the background while those shows were going on. I appreciated getting a different look into an actor’s life and seeing how crushing it was for him when people on his team were convincing him that he couldn’t be open about being gay.
I did feel like at times when the book would skip forward by a few years that I was missing out on a lot of context when things would just be mentioned in passing. It just made some parts of the book feel lopsided when certain things would be written about in depth and then something else that seemed like a big event was only given a couple of sentences. But overall I think this was a really interesting memoir and definitely worth checking out.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
June 9, 2022
#LGBTQ
Trigger warning: sexual abuse, child abuse, violence, detailed sex scenes.
A lost child's memoir that cuts deep emotionally.
In Miss Memory Lane: A Memoir, Colton Haynes removes the mask - a Kansas jork, a model, a TV show celebrity - to reveal an inner child who is still searching for his mother's validation.
If you are a fan of 'Teen Wolf' and 'Arrow,' you know who Colton Haynes is; always a looking-fabulous athletic young man on the screen, having-fun-with-colleagues cutie behind the scenes. However, the reader won't find details about working on TV shows inside the book: the author doesn't remember much of that time. The memoir's engaging language delivers a harrowing story from dysfunctional family dynamics, including sexual abuse at age six, to doing odd jobs to survive (working on a sex line and mailing used underwear and socks). From a very young age, the author wanted to be noticed and feel valued, first by his mother and then by men. He learned to gain love by looking sexually attractive but didn't learn to love himself. Modeling and acting were all about seducing the camera, and it worked - until it didn't.
I recommend reading the 'Acknowledgments' section at the end of the book. The love and kindness pouring out of the section's pages balance the overall bitter aftertaste of the previous narrative. The idea that his life has been a mess prevented the author from juxtaposing the negative moments with positive ones: friends, family, colleagues, etc. From the section, the reader can see how many people genuinely care about the author and, more importantly, how he cares about them, despite his downfalls.
I recommend the book as unraveling work-in-the-making. Despite the round structure, the end mirroring the beginning, Colton Haynes's story isn't complete as he's deeply immersed in revaluating his experiences. I have a gut feeling that there will be another memoir after ten or twenty years, with more layers of reflection, more revealing detachment from the current events.
Trigger warning: sexual abuse, child abuse, violence, detailed sex scenes.
A lost child's memoir that cuts deep emotionally.
In Miss Memory Lane: A Memoir, Colton Haynes removes the mask - a Kansas jork, a model, a TV show celebrity - to reveal an inner child who is still searching for his mother's validation.
If you are a fan of 'Teen Wolf' and 'Arrow,' you know who Colton Haynes is; always a looking-fabulous athletic young man on the screen, having-fun-with-colleagues cutie behind the scenes. However, the reader won't find details about working on TV shows inside the book: the author doesn't remember much of that time. The memoir's engaging language delivers a harrowing story from dysfunctional family dynamics, including sexual abuse at age six, to doing odd jobs to survive (working on a sex line and mailing used underwear and socks). From a very young age, the author wanted to be noticed and feel valued, first by his mother and then by men. He learned to gain love by looking sexually attractive but didn't learn to love himself. Modeling and acting were all about seducing the camera, and it worked - until it didn't.
I recommend reading the 'Acknowledgments' section at the end of the book. The love and kindness pouring out of the section's pages balance the overall bitter aftertaste of the previous narrative. The idea that his life has been a mess prevented the author from juxtaposing the negative moments with positive ones: friends, family, colleagues, etc. From the section, the reader can see how many people genuinely care about the author and, more importantly, how he cares about them, despite his downfalls.
I recommend the book as unraveling work-in-the-making. Despite the round structure, the end mirroring the beginning, Colton Haynes's story isn't complete as he's deeply immersed in revaluating his experiences. I have a gut feeling that there will be another memoir after ten or twenty years, with more layers of reflection, more revealing detachment from the current events.
Read
December 28, 2022This memoir was so raw and honest. Colton Haynes did not shy away from the uglier parts of his life and I think it was really brave of him to be so open and vulnerable. Parts of this made me laugh, and other parts made me want to cry and just give him a hug. Even if you aren't a fan of his, I think this memoir is meaningful and worth a read.
January 16, 2023
4 1/2 stars rounded up. What I knew about Colton Haynes: Abercrombie model at a young age. Ridiculously good looking. A decent actor. Forced in the closet by his agent and management and he came out not only as gay but as having crippling anxiety. That’s it.
What I learned from this book was that he had a very hard life and deserves more respect than I had for him and I wish him every success in the world.
What I learned from this book was that he had a very hard life and deserves more respect than I had for him and I wish him every success in the world.
October 12, 2022
Another day, another memoir, again me telling y'all that I think it's weird to rate them and here I am anyway.
Unlike yesterday Colton Haynes is a person that I have followed since little baby Monte first heard about Teen Wolf coming to MTV. Back when I was first becoming obsessed with television and genre content in general to the point that I followed Colton when he left Teen Wolf to watch Arrow, a show that I previously had no interest in just because they had announced Colton would be joining in the back half of that first season. So since I was a baby gay myself I have carved out room for Colton Haynes to be one of my messy white gays that I will just support. The fact that he was also from Kansas was just an extra cherry on top.
So when this book was initially announced I was cautiously curious about it. I knew that at some point I'd have to get around to it, both because talking about books online is a thing that I do and Colton had been such a formative part of my late teens. I kept putting it off because I knew that this wasn't the kind of memoir that's just a collection of fun times on set and quirky recipes to share at your next dinner party.
Part of me almost wishes that I had given myself some space between this and Wu's Making a Scene. I didn't and here I am.
I'm not sure that I'm really ready to unpack a lot of what I read. I'm sure that I will at some point, just like I'm sure that I'll listen to this again in the future.
I can say that this is a candid look at abuse, both in terms of substance abuse and sexual abuse that Haynes experienced at various points in his life. It's written in terms of how his younger self experienced it at the time and then later how Haynes sees those same events with some distance from them and more tools to realize the harm in what was happening then. It's a very raw book that is unflinching in ways that even other reviews hadn't entirely prepared me for. Maybe some of that was influenced by the audiobook and having to hear Haynes reading these stories about these moments in his life to me.
Just like it was hard for me to tell everyone to run out and read that memoir, it's just as hard this time around. Though maybe even more so because of the unflinching nature of the way the memoir is a story about living through abuse, getting to the other side, and reckoning with all of that. It's not that other memoirs aren't about struggles either, it's just again, if it's not a person you're invested in I'm not sure you will get the full experience.
Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe more people than I think would like this will like it. All I can say is that while it feels wrong to say that I enjoyed my time reading this, I'm happy to have made the time to have read it and to have had the experiencing of learning a little more and sitting in the uncomfortable feelings that this made me confront.
Unlike yesterday Colton Haynes is a person that I have followed since little baby Monte first heard about Teen Wolf coming to MTV. Back when I was first becoming obsessed with television and genre content in general to the point that I followed Colton when he left Teen Wolf to watch Arrow, a show that I previously had no interest in just because they had announced Colton would be joining in the back half of that first season. So since I was a baby gay myself I have carved out room for Colton Haynes to be one of my messy white gays that I will just support. The fact that he was also from Kansas was just an extra cherry on top.
So when this book was initially announced I was cautiously curious about it. I knew that at some point I'd have to get around to it, both because talking about books online is a thing that I do and Colton had been such a formative part of my late teens. I kept putting it off because I knew that this wasn't the kind of memoir that's just a collection of fun times on set and quirky recipes to share at your next dinner party.
Part of me almost wishes that I had given myself some space between this and Wu's Making a Scene. I didn't and here I am.
I'm not sure that I'm really ready to unpack a lot of what I read. I'm sure that I will at some point, just like I'm sure that I'll listen to this again in the future.
I can say that this is a candid look at abuse, both in terms of substance abuse and sexual abuse that Haynes experienced at various points in his life. It's written in terms of how his younger self experienced it at the time and then later how Haynes sees those same events with some distance from them and more tools to realize the harm in what was happening then. It's a very raw book that is unflinching in ways that even other reviews hadn't entirely prepared me for. Maybe some of that was influenced by the audiobook and having to hear Haynes reading these stories about these moments in his life to me.
Just like it was hard for me to tell everyone to run out and read that memoir, it's just as hard this time around. Though maybe even more so because of the unflinching nature of the way the memoir is a story about living through abuse, getting to the other side, and reckoning with all of that. It's not that other memoirs aren't about struggles either, it's just again, if it's not a person you're invested in I'm not sure you will get the full experience.
Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe more people than I think would like this will like it. All I can say is that while it feels wrong to say that I enjoyed my time reading this, I'm happy to have made the time to have read it and to have had the experiencing of learning a little more and sitting in the uncomfortable feelings that this made me confront.
June 17, 2022
tw/ physical abuse, grooming, sexual abuse, eating disorders, substance abuse, addiction, homophobia
this was an extremely hard read just based on the topics at hand alone, so i can only imagine the absolute emotional journey it must have been for colton to write this, to have to go down miss memory lane (adore this title) and put it all on the page. the detailing of his life is very raw, from his early childhood days, to his rise to fame first through finessing his way into modeling and later on through his roles on huge tv shows like teen wolf and arrow, until we get to his coming out story and stay at a rehab.
the writing is one of my favorite parts, it’s to the point while also being so engaging. you can feel the honesty in every story being told and every emotion that colton was going through during them, even during the parts he remembers less off due to his alcohol dependency making many of those details quite blurry.
i listened to the audiobook, as if it my preferred method to consume memoirs narrated by the authors themselves and colton’s reading of his own story added a level of genuine emotion to the stories being told. this book brought me to tears a couple times and made me have to stop listening to it and take a breather many other but if anyone thinks they’re emotionally well enough to read it then i absolutely recommend it!
this was an extremely hard read just based on the topics at hand alone, so i can only imagine the absolute emotional journey it must have been for colton to write this, to have to go down miss memory lane (adore this title) and put it all on the page. the detailing of his life is very raw, from his early childhood days, to his rise to fame first through finessing his way into modeling and later on through his roles on huge tv shows like teen wolf and arrow, until we get to his coming out story and stay at a rehab.
the writing is one of my favorite parts, it’s to the point while also being so engaging. you can feel the honesty in every story being told and every emotion that colton was going through during them, even during the parts he remembers less off due to his alcohol dependency making many of those details quite blurry.
i listened to the audiobook, as if it my preferred method to consume memoirs narrated by the authors themselves and colton’s reading of his own story added a level of genuine emotion to the stories being told. this book brought me to tears a couple times and made me have to stop listening to it and take a breather many other but if anyone thinks they’re emotionally well enough to read it then i absolutely recommend it!
March 14, 2025
5/5
Kartais atidėlioju kokių net ir labai gerai įvertintų autobiografijų skaitymą, nes atrodo, kad jei nesu fanė (didelė ar apskritai), tai jos skirtos ne man. Galvojau taip ir apie šią knygą – ar todėl, kad prieš dešimt metų mačiau kokį vieną Teen Wolf sezoną, man turėtų būti įdomi vieno net ne pagrindinio aktoriaus istorija? Galėtų. Buvo. Net labai. Nes iš tiesų ji skirta tiems, kurie yra ką nors praradę, kurie kada nors jautėsi nepritampantys ar nemylimi, kurie labai stengėsi save suformuoti ar performuoti, net jei nematė tinkamo pavyzdžio, net jei neįsivaizdavo, kokiais norėtų būti. Colton pasakoja labai atviras ir labai skaudžias istorijas, niekaip nesusijusias su pramogų pasaulio pletkais ar kažkokiais neregėtais, iki tol neaptartais užkulisiais.
Parašyta gyva ir literatūriška kalba, knyga patraukia ne tik atvirumu, bet ir gilia savirefleksija, o ir esminiu aspektu, kuris man autobiografijose pats svarbiausias – įtikinamumu. Viskuo čia tikėjau ir patikėjau, o autoriaus įgarsinimas patirčiai pridėjo tik dar vieną emocinį sluoksnį. Ir kam norisi jautrios, labai skaudžios, bet reikalingos, vis tiek viltingos istorijos, šiaip susijusios ne su Coltonu kaip įžymybe, o su Coltonu kaip žmogumi, tai tikrai rekomenduoju – vienas atviresnių autobiografijos pavyzdžių, o jame tyrinėjamas seksualumo ir seksualizavimo aspektas man pasirodė ypač svarbus ir reikšmingas.
Kartais atidėlioju kokių net ir labai gerai įvertintų autobiografijų skaitymą, nes atrodo, kad jei nesu fanė (didelė ar apskritai), tai jos skirtos ne man. Galvojau taip ir apie šią knygą – ar todėl, kad prieš dešimt metų mačiau kokį vieną Teen Wolf sezoną, man turėtų būti įdomi vieno net ne pagrindinio aktoriaus istorija? Galėtų. Buvo. Net labai. Nes iš tiesų ji skirta tiems, kurie yra ką nors praradę, kurie kada nors jautėsi nepritampantys ar nemylimi, kurie labai stengėsi save suformuoti ar performuoti, net jei nematė tinkamo pavyzdžio, net jei neįsivaizdavo, kokiais norėtų būti. Colton pasakoja labai atviras ir labai skaudžias istorijas, niekaip nesusijusias su pramogų pasaulio pletkais ar kažkokiais neregėtais, iki tol neaptartais užkulisiais.
Parašyta gyva ir literatūriška kalba, knyga patraukia ne tik atvirumu, bet ir gilia savirefleksija, o ir esminiu aspektu, kuris man autobiografijose pats svarbiausias – įtikinamumu. Viskuo čia tikėjau ir patikėjau, o autoriaus įgarsinimas patirčiai pridėjo tik dar vieną emocinį sluoksnį. Ir kam norisi jautrios, labai skaudžios, bet reikalingos, vis tiek viltingos istorijos, šiaip susijusios ne su Coltonu kaip įžymybe, o su Coltonu kaip žmogumi, tai tikrai rekomenduoju – vienas atviresnių autobiografijos pavyzdžių, o jame tyrinėjamas seksualumo ir seksualizavimo aspektas man pasirodė ypač svarbus ir reikšmingas.
November 4, 2023
This was excellent. A very candid and heartfelt memoir and I am so glad I read it. Highly recommended.
May 27, 2024
Elton John blurbs this book as being "a brutally honest memoir" and it is certainly that.
This is very well-written, but is also a harrowing read. Much of the material is profoundly disturbing.
Some of the segments about growing up in a chaotic setting reminded me a bit of The Glass Castle. Colton was very bonded with his mother, and that connection also was destabilizing.
I have to say, I was impressed by the literary quality of the writing here. Either Colton is a gifted writer, or he had a lot of help,— I suspect it's a combination of the two. In any event I hope that he nourishes his obvious literary gifts and blooms again and again.
As a general comment, it seems a real failing in our version of "civilization" that so many of our young people grow up feeling worthless.
This is very well-written, but is also a harrowing read. Much of the material is profoundly disturbing.
Some of the segments about growing up in a chaotic setting reminded me a bit of The Glass Castle. Colton was very bonded with his mother, and that connection also was destabilizing.
I have to say, I was impressed by the literary quality of the writing here. Either Colton is a gifted writer, or he had a lot of help,— I suspect it's a combination of the two. In any event I hope that he nourishes his obvious literary gifts and blooms again and again.
As a general comment, it seems a real failing in our version of "civilization" that so many of our young people grow up feeling worthless.
March 23, 2022
Miss Memory Lane is a poignant memoir that I couldn't put down. Colton Haynes bares his soul in a way that is brutally honest and yet healing. One of the most powerful memoirs that I have read!
When I hear/see the name Colton Haynes, I am immediately brought back to my teenage years. I remember seeing him on a show called 'The Gates' and just being drawn to him. Of course, you can't help but notice how gorgeous he is and that just pulled me in. I continued to follow his career and have been a fan ever since. He always brought such a light onscreen and I feel like that only made it easier for people to gravitate towards him.
As I started reading the book, I was heartbroken. Colton opens up about how he sees himself in a way that is 'replaceable' or 'worthless' and it broke my heart. How could a person who is so special feel this way about themselves?
If anything, his memoir reminds us that celebrities are just people like the rest of us. Sure they may have more fame or money, but it doesn't mean they are immune to feelings and emotions. I appreciated how honest Colton was throughout. From his childhood to his adulthood, he bared it all. His life is really like a beautiful disaster. There are ups and downs and even more ups and downs.
This is filled with so many moments in his life and really gives me a sense of Colton as a person. To say that he has gone through it would be an understatement. But in all the sadness and tragedy, there is hope. I am so happy that Colton decided to make a change in his life. Colton, if you are reading this I hope you know that you are worth it. You are strong, you are loved, and you are one-of-a-kind.
I give Miss Memory Lane 5 stars. I guarantee readers will be in tears after they finish reading. I said this earlier and I will say it again. This book is one of the most affecting memoirs that I have read! Colton Haynes talks about it all; his childhood, sexuality, career, drug abuse, and mental health. But there is hope. Every storm in life is followed by a rainbow. I appreciate Colton's honesty and authenticity. I know that he didn't have to tell his story, but he did and it is affecting!
When I hear/see the name Colton Haynes, I am immediately brought back to my teenage years. I remember seeing him on a show called 'The Gates' and just being drawn to him. Of course, you can't help but notice how gorgeous he is and that just pulled me in. I continued to follow his career and have been a fan ever since. He always brought such a light onscreen and I feel like that only made it easier for people to gravitate towards him.
As I started reading the book, I was heartbroken. Colton opens up about how he sees himself in a way that is 'replaceable' or 'worthless' and it broke my heart. How could a person who is so special feel this way about themselves?
If anything, his memoir reminds us that celebrities are just people like the rest of us. Sure they may have more fame or money, but it doesn't mean they are immune to feelings and emotions. I appreciated how honest Colton was throughout. From his childhood to his adulthood, he bared it all. His life is really like a beautiful disaster. There are ups and downs and even more ups and downs.
This is filled with so many moments in his life and really gives me a sense of Colton as a person. To say that he has gone through it would be an understatement. But in all the sadness and tragedy, there is hope. I am so happy that Colton decided to make a change in his life. Colton, if you are reading this I hope you know that you are worth it. You are strong, you are loved, and you are one-of-a-kind.
I give Miss Memory Lane 5 stars. I guarantee readers will be in tears after they finish reading. I said this earlier and I will say it again. This book is one of the most affecting memoirs that I have read! Colton Haynes talks about it all; his childhood, sexuality, career, drug abuse, and mental health. But there is hope. Every storm in life is followed by a rainbow. I appreciate Colton's honesty and authenticity. I know that he didn't have to tell his story, but he did and it is affecting!
February 4, 2023
Very real and impressive book. Beautifully written. Thank you for this!
September 28, 2024
Quite not what I expected. Lol but in the good way!
A very honest and tender memoir. I was actually happy that Haynes didn't focus too much on his Teen Wolf days.
Also, his narration was sooo hot. Haha just like the author. ☺️
A very honest and tender memoir. I was actually happy that Haynes didn't focus too much on his Teen Wolf days.
Also, his narration was sooo hot. Haha just like the author. ☺️
June 8, 2022
I have… opinions, strong ones, on parent-child relationships that make me angry whenever children whose parents did really bad keep chasing after them, their attention and love. I think that parents who abandon or abuse their children not only don’t deserve the term mum or dad, but that they don’t deserve forgiveness, don’t deserve their children’s love, devotion, or loyalty. They deserve to suffer the consequences of putting children into this world and then not treating them right. I don’t think that any child who has been wronged by a parent owes them anything - not keeping in contact with them, not their affection, not their love, not their forgiveness, not their understanding, not their support. In fact, I want children who have been wronged by their parents to cut off all contact with them and to never talk to them again because in my opinion that’s all that abusive or absentee parents deserve. A child is a helpless being whom adults chose to put into this world and they better take good care of them or they can go to hell.
So I really hate it when I read a book, fiction or non-fiction, where a parent wrongs their child but the child still chases after the parent, still desperately loves the parent, still craves the parent’s attention, love, and acceptance. Of course, I know that’s just how we humans are – no matter how much they hurt us, be it by being absent and then suddenly reappearing crying for forgiveness, or that they hit us, scream at us, neglect us, or subject us to domestic violence, be it that they choose to spend their money on alcohol or drugs instead of food for their family, when they choose passing out on the couch instead of making sure that their kids get a warm meal, clean up, and go to bed on time, or in Colton's case when they choose to sleep through the day instead of taking their child to their theatre classes which directly causes the child to fall victim to a sexual predator – we still are always too willing to forgive our parents just because they are our parents. Just because it is in a child’s nature to crave their parent’s love and attention no matter how much they hurt us, just like a dog who is beaten time and time again will crawl back to his abusive owner again and again, becoming more submissive in the hopes of finally deserving their love.
This is what I hate about stories like Colton’s because it is his mother’s fault that he had a horrible childhood with one after the other horrible adult in it who, all of them, showed him the worst of humanity over and over again from a very young age. His mum was always drunk, she was abusive, she was neglectful, she was mean, and still he has nothing but love for her. She subjected him to one awful father figure after the other, she offered no stability whatsoever. With a childhood like that, how can you expect a child to grow up into a confident, mentally stable and healthy person? There is no chance. With all the trauma that Colton suffered as a child, it’s impossible. His mother did a very bad job at being a mother, at deserving the term, and she very effectively laid the foundation for his mental illness, his addiction, his endless craving for being seen and loved and being important to as many people as possible, an insatiable hunger for acceptance and love that could never be satisfied. The awful childhood that she offered him is the reason for everything that went wrong in his life and still this book is full of his love for her, his unwavering love for his abusive, selfish mother. And I hate that.
Of course it’s his life and he can love whomever he wants. I just hate parents who are so undeserving of their children’s love and still get their loyal adoration, still get their sadness and their grief. It hurts that after everything she did to him, Colton still loves her so much and thus suffers all the more from the grief of losing her when she doesn’t deserve any of it.
So I really hate it when I read a book, fiction or non-fiction, where a parent wrongs their child but the child still chases after the parent, still desperately loves the parent, still craves the parent’s attention, love, and acceptance. Of course, I know that’s just how we humans are – no matter how much they hurt us, be it by being absent and then suddenly reappearing crying for forgiveness, or that they hit us, scream at us, neglect us, or subject us to domestic violence, be it that they choose to spend their money on alcohol or drugs instead of food for their family, when they choose passing out on the couch instead of making sure that their kids get a warm meal, clean up, and go to bed on time, or in Colton's case when they choose to sleep through the day instead of taking their child to their theatre classes which directly causes the child to fall victim to a sexual predator – we still are always too willing to forgive our parents just because they are our parents. Just because it is in a child’s nature to crave their parent’s love and attention no matter how much they hurt us, just like a dog who is beaten time and time again will crawl back to his abusive owner again and again, becoming more submissive in the hopes of finally deserving their love.
This is what I hate about stories like Colton’s because it is his mother’s fault that he had a horrible childhood with one after the other horrible adult in it who, all of them, showed him the worst of humanity over and over again from a very young age. His mum was always drunk, she was abusive, she was neglectful, she was mean, and still he has nothing but love for her. She subjected him to one awful father figure after the other, she offered no stability whatsoever. With a childhood like that, how can you expect a child to grow up into a confident, mentally stable and healthy person? There is no chance. With all the trauma that Colton suffered as a child, it’s impossible. His mother did a very bad job at being a mother, at deserving the term, and she very effectively laid the foundation for his mental illness, his addiction, his endless craving for being seen and loved and being important to as many people as possible, an insatiable hunger for acceptance and love that could never be satisfied. The awful childhood that she offered him is the reason for everything that went wrong in his life and still this book is full of his love for her, his unwavering love for his abusive, selfish mother. And I hate that.
Of course it’s his life and he can love whomever he wants. I just hate parents who are so undeserving of their children’s love and still get their loyal adoration, still get their sadness and their grief. It hurts that after everything she did to him, Colton still loves her so much and thus suffers all the more from the grief of losing her when she doesn’t deserve any of it.
August 2, 2022
This is the second celebrity memoir I've read and I normally don't rate them either but Colton's story deserved to be rated and it definitely made me a new fan of his after reading what he went through and what encouraged him to fight his own inner demons as well as the courage to come out and truly live the life he now has. And I hope this reaches everyone who felt like their lives was spiraling out of control to the point of no return but then they manage to take back said life and now they live their truth out loud and don't let others tear them down even though other people still try to do so. Bravo Colton for letting us hear your truth even though it was ugly and beautiful at the same time. Highly recommend others to read this rather you're going through it or not because it still really is worth your time and just maybe it'll make you an even bigger fan of his or you just might find that you'd love to become a fan just like I have over the course of reading this heartbreakingly beautiful person's story...
June 16, 2022
He cried, I cried. Heartbreaking, but so brutally honest and well written. ♥️💔
March 16, 2023
Maaaaaan. I just want to wrap this dude up in cotton and make sure he doesn’t get hurt again. I really hope he’s happy, or on his way there 💛
April 30, 2023
Thank you to Colton Haynes and Atria Books for the ARC giveaway copy on Goodreads.
First, this was an incredible memoir. BUY IT NOW (it comes out tomorrow, May 31, 2022).
Now, I have to come clean: I was not too familiar with Colton Haynes' work going into this memoir. What drew me to this was the description that it was a memoir about coming to terms with his sexuality, abuse, addiction, and what I was sure to be insights into mental health. I greatly enjoy memoirs about coming to terms with one's sexuality. Anything dealing with mental illness - depression, anxiety, and addiction - also interests me. This was one of the best memoirs I have read on the subject and in general.
Colton - because I feel after reading this, we are clearly on a first name basis - takes a meandering approach to his life story, which is a great way to write a memoir. The key to this memoir is this: while it is told linearly in time, it is a bit more conversational than most memoirs I've read. Hence the "meandering" tone of it. Indeed, I'd have to go the step further and call this more than conversational. This was a therapeutic conversation. I felt more like I was sitting down with Colton at a group therapy session or an intimate moment of vulnerability than reading a surface-level puff piece. He is here to tell his story, to review his life for himself, and to help others by telling his story honestly and openly.
One draw back to his style - which is such a minor, personal thing - is that sometimes names and people pop up with little context, as if I am supposed to know who this person is already when it is the first time they have appeared in the narrative. (Some of this is probably due to my ignorance over his television career.) Stick with it, and you get the context or at least the purpose they play in his memoir. Then again, isn't that life? People pop in and out, and they aren't the focus of the story; the events involving these people are the focus. For a moment, I felt this distracting, but then I realized it wasn't necessarily about who this person is so much as what they represent or what event occurred with them present.
I once read another celebrity coming-to-terms memoir from an out gay celebrity, and I felt let down by the one-dimensional approach of stating things but never exploring them. Colton NEVER says anything without truly exploring his emotions and thoughts. He is viscerally honest about his parents, his family, his friends, but most importantly himself. For example, he speaks of childhood trauma and abuse and tells you what he felt and how it shaped him. In another instant, he speaks of his thoughts around men and being gay, what he sought out and why, how that made him feel. This was beyond honest. This was truth. I felt the truth coming off the page.
His approach is moving. I cannot tell you how many times I cried. I cried because what Colton went through was at times disgusting, at times saddening, and at times heart-wrenching. I cried because what Colton said rang so true to my own experiences. I cried because of how Colton laid bare his life, even his unhealthy thoughts on sex and how he has grown from his experiences. I cannot still believe how what he said could easily have come out of my own mouth. Reading this made me cry because I realized my own history and life, I realized how I look at men and sex and how similar it is to how Colton viewed them. I was left emotional, in the best ways possible.
Though I was left in tears, I am left feeling immense gratitude to Colton for his honest memoir. It showed me I am not alone. Not in my anxiety and depression. Not in my sexuality. The highest compliment I can think of for any memoir that is confessional and honest is that it made me feel like I'm not alone. Colton Haynes' "Miss Memory Lane" made me feel seen and heard. I see Colton. I hear Colton. I am glad he has shared his story and I am so glad he wrote this book.
In short: This is perhaps THE BEST memoir I have ever read. Certainly it is the best memoir I've read about coming to terms with one's sexuality and dealing with one's own faults, becoming self aware and actualizing changes for a better life. I wish Colton all the luck in the world with this book and in whatever he does in the future. He, like everyone else in this world, deserves to be loved completely and unconditionally. Based on this memoir, he has begun to love himself in that way.
UPDATE April 30, 2023: It's almost been a year, and I had to read this again. It was just as amazing this second time around. In the last year I've embarked on a huge career change and became a Peer Recovery Coach, using my recovery in mental illness and eating disorders/food addiction to help others in early recovery from their demons. And I have to attribute Colton Haynes for this shift. His story illuminated several things I knew about myself and was ignoring, such as my own recovery. I've been in recovery for years, but reading this reinvigorated my recovery just when I needed it. And I can never thank him enough. Amazing! If you haven't read this yet, what are you waiting for?
First, this was an incredible memoir. BUY IT NOW (it comes out tomorrow, May 31, 2022).
Now, I have to come clean: I was not too familiar with Colton Haynes' work going into this memoir. What drew me to this was the description that it was a memoir about coming to terms with his sexuality, abuse, addiction, and what I was sure to be insights into mental health. I greatly enjoy memoirs about coming to terms with one's sexuality. Anything dealing with mental illness - depression, anxiety, and addiction - also interests me. This was one of the best memoirs I have read on the subject and in general.
Colton - because I feel after reading this, we are clearly on a first name basis - takes a meandering approach to his life story, which is a great way to write a memoir. The key to this memoir is this: while it is told linearly in time, it is a bit more conversational than most memoirs I've read. Hence the "meandering" tone of it. Indeed, I'd have to go the step further and call this more than conversational. This was a therapeutic conversation. I felt more like I was sitting down with Colton at a group therapy session or an intimate moment of vulnerability than reading a surface-level puff piece. He is here to tell his story, to review his life for himself, and to help others by telling his story honestly and openly.
One draw back to his style - which is such a minor, personal thing - is that sometimes names and people pop up with little context, as if I am supposed to know who this person is already when it is the first time they have appeared in the narrative. (Some of this is probably due to my ignorance over his television career.) Stick with it, and you get the context or at least the purpose they play in his memoir. Then again, isn't that life? People pop in and out, and they aren't the focus of the story; the events involving these people are the focus. For a moment, I felt this distracting, but then I realized it wasn't necessarily about who this person is so much as what they represent or what event occurred with them present.
I once read another celebrity coming-to-terms memoir from an out gay celebrity, and I felt let down by the one-dimensional approach of stating things but never exploring them. Colton NEVER says anything without truly exploring his emotions and thoughts. He is viscerally honest about his parents, his family, his friends, but most importantly himself. For example, he speaks of childhood trauma and abuse and tells you what he felt and how it shaped him. In another instant, he speaks of his thoughts around men and being gay, what he sought out and why, how that made him feel. This was beyond honest. This was truth. I felt the truth coming off the page.
His approach is moving. I cannot tell you how many times I cried. I cried because what Colton went through was at times disgusting, at times saddening, and at times heart-wrenching. I cried because what Colton said rang so true to my own experiences. I cried because of how Colton laid bare his life, even his unhealthy thoughts on sex and how he has grown from his experiences. I cannot still believe how what he said could easily have come out of my own mouth. Reading this made me cry because I realized my own history and life, I realized how I look at men and sex and how similar it is to how Colton viewed them. I was left emotional, in the best ways possible.
Though I was left in tears, I am left feeling immense gratitude to Colton for his honest memoir. It showed me I am not alone. Not in my anxiety and depression. Not in my sexuality. The highest compliment I can think of for any memoir that is confessional and honest is that it made me feel like I'm not alone. Colton Haynes' "Miss Memory Lane" made me feel seen and heard. I see Colton. I hear Colton. I am glad he has shared his story and I am so glad he wrote this book.
In short: This is perhaps THE BEST memoir I have ever read. Certainly it is the best memoir I've read about coming to terms with one's sexuality and dealing with one's own faults, becoming self aware and actualizing changes for a better life. I wish Colton all the luck in the world with this book and in whatever he does in the future. He, like everyone else in this world, deserves to be loved completely and unconditionally. Based on this memoir, he has begun to love himself in that way.
UPDATE April 30, 2023: It's almost been a year, and I had to read this again. It was just as amazing this second time around. In the last year I've embarked on a huge career change and became a Peer Recovery Coach, using my recovery in mental illness and eating disorders/food addiction to help others in early recovery from their demons. And I have to attribute Colton Haynes for this shift. His story illuminated several things I knew about myself and was ignoring, such as my own recovery. I've been in recovery for years, but reading this reinvigorated my recovery just when I needed it. And I can never thank him enough. Amazing! If you haven't read this yet, what are you waiting for?
March 14, 2023
Wow, just wow. I am not the type of person who obsesses over celebrities and follows their social media or gossip sites. The most I do when there is an actor I am curious about is read their IMDB info, sometimes Wikipedia. I'm too old to obsess over people I don't know. :) I did have a few celebrity crushes when I was kid but I've grown up, real life, yada yada. So, I knew nothing about Colton Haynes beyond the fact that I knew him from Teen Wolf (I broke down one day out of boredom and stopped after season 3) and Arrow (which I started because of the cross over with The Flash which I watched with my Dad and I never finished Arrow either).
I had no idea Colton was dealing with so much while filming these shows, or what he went through to even get ON the shows. His story just shows there are very bad people in this world who take advantage of others just to feel empowered. I don't know what prompted Colton to write this book, or to write it now. I think his story will help a lot of people, impressionable teens for sure, and hope people pick it up and read it.
He did an amazing job with the narration and I almost cried because I could hear the emotion in his voice as he revisited these painful memories. I hope he is happier now, and finds what really makes him whole.
This isn't an easy story, and it's very graphic - he holds nothing back - and it's his truth to tell. I give him a lot of credit for being so honest and willing to share this with the world. I only hope the world learns something from him.
5 stars all around and I sincerely hope he'll write more to share how he is doing. I have no idea what he is doing for a career or how he is. The book essentially ends with him riding off into the sunset seeming content for now.
I had no idea Colton was dealing with so much while filming these shows, or what he went through to even get ON the shows. His story just shows there are very bad people in this world who take advantage of others just to feel empowered. I don't know what prompted Colton to write this book, or to write it now. I think his story will help a lot of people, impressionable teens for sure, and hope people pick it up and read it.
He did an amazing job with the narration and I almost cried because I could hear the emotion in his voice as he revisited these painful memories. I hope he is happier now, and finds what really makes him whole.
This isn't an easy story, and it's very graphic - he holds nothing back - and it's his truth to tell. I give him a lot of credit for being so honest and willing to share this with the world. I only hope the world learns something from him.
5 stars all around and I sincerely hope he'll write more to share how he is doing. I have no idea what he is doing for a career or how he is. The book essentially ends with him riding off into the sunset seeming content for now.
April 14, 2022
Colton Haynes is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover”. I’ll be honest, I don’t watch a lot of tv so I’ve never seen either of Colton’s popular tv shows, but you can’t be a gay guy and not know who he is. The mans gorgeous….but that’s part of the problem Colton works through in this breathtaking and raw autobiography. From an early age (holy shit wasn’t expecting THAT) Colton learned that his good looks and body will help him get ahead in life. We read through very raw descriptions of his assault and his sexual relationship with an older man when he was very young, so proceed with caution if these are triggering topics for you. Also, we see him dealing immensely with body image issues and addiction. Colton didn’t hold back in this. So often, celebrity biographies are very impressionable…. They peal back layers just enough to be honest but hid the real grit of their story. Colton rips the layers away and you get to understand the man behind the beautiful face so much better. A profound, at times hard to read, story of a young man working through his demons.
January 21, 2023
i've had the pleasure of meeting colton a few times and he is the epitome of a genuine and loving soul. my heart is broken after knowing that the same colton who makes me snort laughing is the same colton who wrote this. this is a heart-wrenching, engulfing memoir that i will never forget. colton's words are also so beautiful and powerful, especially chapter 14 where i cried on the subway. when talking about his relationship with his mother, i could feel both the love and pain in his voice and it hit so close to home. colton if you can hear me i love you!!!!!! thank you for sharing your story with us
November 5, 2022
This was gutting to read, especially as someone who has followed Colton's career over the years.
I highly recommend the audiobook. His performance was simply incredible.
I highly recommend the audiobook. His performance was simply incredible.
June 14, 2022
I have come to have an expectation when picking up celebrity memoirs. Typically I find that they lack a certain depth and vulnerability to them. Like they are sugar coating or leaving out the parts that may damage their brand or make them seem too normal or damaged. Haynes, did not go this route with “Miss Memory Lane.” Haynes instead, bares his heart and soul, and allows us a very honest look at his triumphs, his short comings, and his lifelong traumas. It’s at times gut wrenching and even uncomfortable to read some of the things the actor and model endured growing up.
The amount of vulnerability and honesty make this at times a difficult read. Haynes doesn’t shy away from his trauma and that sort of authenticity can really sit with you as a reader. It’s a vulnerability that hopefully, can touch people who have perhaps been through similar situations. That sort of visibility he is showcasing is important.
I was surprised by how well Haynes was at prose as well. I didn’t expect the memoir to be written as beautifully as it was. He has a knack for vivid visuals and beautiful wording. It made not only for an informative but also enjoyable reading experience.
If you’re a fan of his, this is worth the read, but it can also be a great read for young queer individuals perhaps trying to join the industry he’s apart of. It showcases the darker side of it and the trauma it can inflict when keeping people in the closet.
What resonated with me about this specific part of his life was how open and accepting he was with his own sexuality until industry people taught him to be ashamed of it, to put it away. In a time when our community is trying so hard to be accepted as we are and to live openly, this message feels powerful and important.
A great read, especially during pride month for me!
The amount of vulnerability and honesty make this at times a difficult read. Haynes doesn’t shy away from his trauma and that sort of authenticity can really sit with you as a reader. It’s a vulnerability that hopefully, can touch people who have perhaps been through similar situations. That sort of visibility he is showcasing is important.
I was surprised by how well Haynes was at prose as well. I didn’t expect the memoir to be written as beautifully as it was. He has a knack for vivid visuals and beautiful wording. It made not only for an informative but also enjoyable reading experience.
If you’re a fan of his, this is worth the read, but it can also be a great read for young queer individuals perhaps trying to join the industry he’s apart of. It showcases the darker side of it and the trauma it can inflict when keeping people in the closet.
What resonated with me about this specific part of his life was how open and accepting he was with his own sexuality until industry people taught him to be ashamed of it, to put it away. In a time when our community is trying so hard to be accepted as we are and to live openly, this message feels powerful and important.
A great read, especially during pride month for me!
June 10, 2022
I don’t usually like to rate non-fiction because how can you rate someone’s life and experience but this book… THIS BOOK!
This book has a little place in my heart and I want to keep it safe, tuck in, and away from harm.
Before reading this book my first thought was « you’re only 30, how can you already write a memoir » and jokes on me it was amazing.
This memoir needed to be written to heal, the writing style is beautiful, the audiobook even more enjoyable (read by Colton Haynes), and the story heart-wrenching.
I want to tell everyone to read it but at the same time gatekeeping it because this book is for the broken kids ✋🏽
This book has a little place in my heart and I want to keep it safe, tuck in, and away from harm.
Before reading this book my first thought was « you’re only 30, how can you already write a memoir » and jokes on me it was amazing.
This memoir needed to be written to heal, the writing style is beautiful, the audiobook even more enjoyable (read by Colton Haynes), and the story heart-wrenching.
I want to tell everyone to read it but at the same time gatekeeping it because this book is for the broken kids ✋🏽
September 11, 2022
That "I was drunk..." part towards the end of the book gutted me... especially after learning Haynes's unadulterated story... it hit hard.
One can see how important must have been for Colton Haynes to write this book. And I'm grateful he shared his most intimate, and even the darkest of moments from his life with the public.
I used the audiobook read by the author himself and it felt...so real. You can hear the emotions in his voice.
One can see how important must have been for Colton Haynes to write this book. And I'm grateful he shared his most intimate, and even the darkest of moments from his life with the public.
I used the audiobook read by the author himself and it felt...so real. You can hear the emotions in his voice.
August 6, 2023
I need to collect my thoughts and dry my tears before I can write a proper review for this.
August 6th: It's been about a month and a half since I finished Miss Memory Lane and I think I owe it to the people to give my thoughts. First of all I would like to thank Colton for sharing his story with the world (and also for liking the review that wasn't there yet ;))
When it comes to memoirs from people I usually have a hard time 'properly' reviewing, because as a reader there are so many different things I can judge a fictional book on, that wouldn't fly with a memoir like this. I can't say anything about the story, because it's Colton's life. I can't really judge the way it was written, because despite writing this book to share his story, Colton isn't a traditional writer either. No, I like looking at autobiographies and judge them on the feelings that the book gave me.
Miss Memory Lane is probably one of the most memorable autobiographies I've listened to (yes I strictly listen to these on audiobook) so far together with I'm Glad My Mom Died from Jennette McCurdy. Not only did the book and the content itself move me, the way Colton told his own story in this audiobook really hit home.
August 6th: It's been about a month and a half since I finished Miss Memory Lane and I think I owe it to the people to give my thoughts. First of all I would like to thank Colton for sharing his story with the world (and also for liking the review that wasn't there yet ;))
When it comes to memoirs from people I usually have a hard time 'properly' reviewing, because as a reader there are so many different things I can judge a fictional book on, that wouldn't fly with a memoir like this. I can't say anything about the story, because it's Colton's life. I can't really judge the way it was written, because despite writing this book to share his story, Colton isn't a traditional writer either. No, I like looking at autobiographies and judge them on the feelings that the book gave me.
Miss Memory Lane is probably one of the most memorable autobiographies I've listened to (yes I strictly listen to these on audiobook) so far together with I'm Glad My Mom Died from Jennette McCurdy. Not only did the book and the content itself move me, the way Colton told his own story in this audiobook really hit home.
September 1, 2022
Subject matters I didn’t care for prior to reading this book: memoirs, coming out stories, Colton Haynes. I remember when seeing this on the shelves at my local bookstore I laughed to myself and thought: “who cares what Colton Haynes has to say?” Then, it became an editors pick at said bookstore, then I saw it had abnormally high reviews, then I noticed the adorable face on the cover, and then…I saw the book opened in Hot Springs, Arkansas- my hometown. I’ve adopted this mentality of reading about something you have an informed opinion on so as to make an educated decision on those feelings. Ironically, Colton Haynes was someone I had always thought used his sexuality as a way to become more famous because I assumed (incorrectly, and having never seen him act) that he needed something to keep his career alive…clearly I was wrong. So, I gave Miss Memory Lane a try, and after devouring it in 4 days I feel gutted, fulfilled, seen, heard, guilt for previous assumptions; MML, while a personal story, is a universal experience for so many gay men in the south. The bender where Colton is “too everything” ripped me apart as who hasn’t had a negative relationship with the word “too” for it constantly being attributed to one of their personality traits? The vulnerability it must have taken to talk about how much he used his body to get what he wanted and how toxic his relationship was with men- it just creeps up your skin but also warms your heart because…you don’t feel so alone. By no means have I had the life of Colton and would never suggest any of that, but how oddly close our similarities are (one year apart, both cancers, both from Arkansas) it was a very uncomfortable mirror to look into, but one that needed to be happen. Now I believe my dislike for Haynes over the years has been from maybe not liking what I’m seeing in myself, and a large part of jealousy, I’m sure. Many of us dreamed of the attention much like Colton did, but not all of us got it, and speaking for myself- I’m so glad that ultimately I didn’t. I want to just give him a hug and tell him thank you for writing this and also damn you for prompting me to pour my heart out on Goodreads. I’ve read many books so far in 2022 but this by far takes the prize for best book so far. Thank you, Miss Memory Lane, for being the book I didn’t know I needed this year.
June 29, 2022
This was always the pattern with me—craving attention from older men, then feeling, somehow, like I wasn’t enough, or I had fallen short of their expectations of me. I’d wanted to be seen, but in that moment I wished I were invisible.
If you're interested in reading this book, please read the trigger warnings because a lot of touchy subjects are talked about in it!
I cannot say I am a fan of Colton Haynes, I've only seen him in Teen Wolf and I've seen his speech when he came out to the whole world. He was almost unknown to me. Just because of his coming out and after accidentally stumbling across this memoir, I've wanted to give it a shot to see what was his life like.
It was dreadingly awful. No child should go through what Colton did. He didn't have any support, no one stable or adult enough to care about and raise him (and his siblings). Most adults betrayed him and used him. It is sad that after all that has happened, he still loves his mother and doesn't blame her even though she's the one at fault. She should have been his parent and look after him.
Unfortunately, he looked for love in the wrong places.
It is fascinating how a famous person who's portraying themselves on social media like a perfect human being who seems to not have any problems, has gone through something so traumatic. Moral of the story, don't judge a book by its cover.
Colton, I wish you all the best in the future. I hope you learn to love yourself first before you find someone worthy of your heart :)
If you're interested in reading this book, please read the trigger warnings because a lot of touchy subjects are talked about in it!
I cannot say I am a fan of Colton Haynes, I've only seen him in Teen Wolf and I've seen his speech when he came out to the whole world. He was almost unknown to me. Just because of his coming out and after accidentally stumbling across this memoir, I've wanted to give it a shot to see what was his life like.
It was dreadingly awful. No child should go through what Colton did. He didn't have any support, no one stable or adult enough to care about and raise him (and his siblings). Most adults betrayed him and used him. It is sad that after all that has happened, he still loves his mother and doesn't blame her even though she's the one at fault. She should have been his parent and look after him.
Unfortunately, he looked for love in the wrong places.
It is fascinating how a famous person who's portraying themselves on social media like a perfect human being who seems to not have any problems, has gone through something so traumatic. Moral of the story, don't judge a book by its cover.
Colton, I wish you all the best in the future. I hope you learn to love yourself first before you find someone worthy of your heart :)
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