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First published January 1, 1949











It was not to be supposed that the haughty Mr. Beaumaris, related as he was to so many noble homes, so distinguished in his bearing, so much courted, and so much pursued, would ever have looked twice at a girl from a country vicarage, with neither fortune nor connections to recommend her to his notice.
Mr. Beaumaris, whose besetting sin was thought by many to be his exquisite enjoyment of the ridiculous...
The same delight in the ridiculous which had made him wear a dandelion in his buttonhole for three consecutive days for no better purpose than to enjoy the discomfiture of his misguided friends and copyists made him deeply appreciative of the situation which he now found himself in ...
It was fast being borne in upon Last Bridlington that the Reverend Henry Tallant was not only a grave handicap to his daughter's social advancement but a growing menace to her own comfort.
"Felt desperate - shot the cat - felt better - kept on swallowing balls of fire - result, looking as queer as Dick's hatband when I saw him."
'Have you any brothers?' demanded Mr Beaumaris.
'No,' said Mr Scounthorpe, blinking at him. 'Only child.'
'You relieve my mind. Offer my congratulations to your parents!'
Mr Scunthorpe thought this over, with knit brow, but could make nothing of it. He put Mr Beaumaris right on one point. 'Only one parent,' he said. 'Father died three months after I was born.'
'Very understandable,' said Mr Beaumaris. 'I am astonished the he lingered on for so long....
She contrived, without precisely making so vulgar a boast, to convey the impression that she was escaping from courtships so persistent as to amount to persecution; and Mr Beaumaris, listening with intense pleasure, said that London was the very place for anyone desirous of escaping attention.
Chase that cur out of here, Joe! …‘Do nothing of the sort, Joe!’ interrupted Mr Beaumaris.
‘Is he yours sir?’ gasped the landlord.
‘Certainly he is mine. A rare specimen: his family tree would surprise you!’