Alex Hawke is a descendant of a famous pirate. That doesn't really matter to the book, but it makes him a more romantic character. His freshly-wed bride has been gunned down on the steps of the church, while at the same time, a staggeringly well-funded terror ring is systematically assassinating American diplomats around the world.
This is the second Alexander Hawke book by Ted Bell, and I have to admit that I have not read the first. I picked up Assassin because (TMI) it had been left in the bathroom at work. Normally this kind of read isn't my thing. I used to read Tom Clancy until he started getting ridiculous, but haven't touched anything in the international thriller vein in over a decade now. So, take that for what it's worth.
I have several problems with Assassin. First and most damning is the writing. There's a blurb on the cover that reads "Ted Bell can really really write." It's attributed to James Patterson, which in my mind is a backhanded complement if there ever was one. Bells's narration is thick and uneven, his dialogue wooden and forced, and he seems to frequently lose track of what's going on. The best example of the last is a scene in which the president is being briefed by several intelligence officers, along with the cabinet and some high-level generals. When questioned about the matter at hand, the president responds with "No comment". To his staff. Repeat, to his staff. I am fairly sure that presidents treat staff meetings, even deadly serious ones, differently than they treat press conferences. But that's just me.
My second problem with the book is its believablilty. As Aristotle said (I'm paraphrasing), a likely impossiblity is better than an improbable possiblity. Meaning, it's okay for dragons to rain fire on Manhattan, it is not okay for the Aegis defense system, which is one of the most expensive and sophisticated miliatry techologies (really an integrated suite of military technologies) ever developed, to be installed on a private yacht, as it is in this book. I don't care how well connected or rich Alex Hawke is, ain't happening.
Which leads me into the issue of Alex Hawke himself. He's quite a dude. Devilishly handsome, trained in combat - to the point that he can defeat an experienced Sumo wrestler on his first try, and with a cracked rib - massively rich, so feircely loyal to his country that he forgoes mourning for his murdered bride in order to serve... did I mention that he is also adept at aircraft design and repair? Or that he's immune to the cold? (How else to explain that two-mile swim in Buzzards Bay, at night, without a wetsuit.) With so many wonderful attributes, Alex doesn't really have much room for much personality, which is good, because he isn't supplied with one. He reminds me of nothing so much as Roger Moore-era James Bond. I know Roger has his defenders, but god help me, I'll never be one of them.
Assassin has some other things in common with the Bond francise, namely it's villain and its attitude toward women. The villain first. Snay bin Wazir (of course he's an Arab, what else would he be?) is drawn in the best Bond tradition, plus a little more graphic violence. Fearfully sadistic, a voyeur, wealthy enough to purchase and defile Beauchamp's hotel in London, he's fond of such tricks as feeding folks to Komodo dragons and slaughtering elephants with land mines and assault weapons. He even has a Bond-villain lair, a sumptuous palace high in the impenetrable mountains of "the Emirate" which might be in Africa, probably not in Arabia, most likely in U-becki-becki-becki-stan. Trust me, it doesn't matter in the slightest.
The depths of Wazir's depravity are off-putting, but not nearly as off-putting as Bell's general attitude toward it. There is a sense thorughout the book, with every death, that the dead character functioned only to drive the story forward. Which is of course technically true. This is the factor that took the book down from three to two stars. No matter how lurid the death (and there are some doozies) there's never a real sense that anything has been lost, or that anything really important has happened. I realized that they are fictional, but this casual handling of death on the part of the author is very troubling to me personally, especially on the several occassions in which it involves children.
Moving on: women. Women feature prominently in Asssassin and yet feature not at all. In the whole 500 some-odd pages, women are either pathetic victims, to be murdered on the church steps without so much as a word of dialogue, or duplicitous hell-cats bent on mayhem. The one exception has so little to do with the plot that every time she appeared I had to backtrack to figure out who she was. The fact that she was the fucking secretary of state didn't even help the issue, because she never functioned as the secretary, only as a potential romantic partner for Alex Hawke. This isn't really surprising in the kind of hyper-masculine fantasy world in which a lot of these kinds of books take place, but it's irritating nonetheless.
The last point, the point that pushed Assassin down from two stars to one, was one single scene. You have a truck that slides off course and stops at the edge of a cliff. The cab dangles over the precipice, nothing but air between it and the ground 10,000 feet below. The back of the truck remains on solid ground, but just barely. No one inside dare move a muscle, lest they upset the balance and plummet to their doom. I've seen this movie before, but that's not even the worst of it. The worst of it is when one of the good guys loses his grip and falls, silently, into the abyss. The noble words to mark is passing and comfort is forlorn commander? For god and country, sir.
I'd roll my eyes, but those muscles are tired.
Thank you and good night.