What do you think?
Rate this book
Apeshit
Apeshit
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q .
Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror cliché and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written.
If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.
Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror cliché and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written.
If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.
178 pages, Paperback
First published October 22, 2008
38 people are currently reading
2268 people want to read
About the author
Carlton Mellick III
119 books2,168 followersCarlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 253 reviews
June 10, 2020
"Okay self," I say to myself. "We really need to talk."
"Are we really doing this joke again?" I ask myself as press for the next page on my Kindle.
"Yes, this is serious. I'm worried about you Tim. I know you've had a recent foray into horror, and I'm tolerantly accepting that for the moment, but this latest book... seriously?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's called 'Apeshit' Tim. Are you really going out reading a book called 'Apeshit' and with a cover like that?"
"You will note that I already mentioned the Kindle, so, well, yes."
"'APESHIT' TIM! That's going on you permanent rating shelf! Are you proud of yourself?'
"Very rarely."
"Please, please tell me it's not as bad as it sounds?"
"Worse," I say. "Much, much worse."
"How much worse?"
"It's like a train wreck in slow motion while being on the train."
"..."
"..."
"You're not going to actually review it are you?"
"I wouldn't bother finishing it if I wasn't."
"Will it at least be 1 star?"
*Checks rating above.* "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can guarantee that one."
________
Okay, so how to begin the review proper here? Well, there were no apes, but at least one aspect of the title was correct.
I've never read a Bizarro novel before. Honestly, while I am a horror fan, the Bizarro sub-genre has personally never really held much appeal. Random shit happening just for the sake of being weird hasn't really appealed to me since I was in my early teens. I'm not making a blanket statement on the genre as a whole, or casting judgment upon it, as I have no doubt that there are gems in the sub-genre, just that it has little enough appeal that I'm not about to really hunt for them.
So then, why did I read a book by Carlton Mellick III, who is apparently the Bizarro King? Honestly I read it because it was presented as a parody of slasher flicks, and I confess that I have a love for self-aware slasher parodies. I figured that with a title like Apeshit, and someone who says immediately in the intro that he wanted to capture the feel of those really cheesy low budget horror movies in book form, well, I'd at least be entertained.
Yeah... For a while I was entertained. Sure, it wasn't a "good" book, but as we were introduced to our walking cliched teens (with just enough subversion that I thought we might be in for a clever ride) I was ready for the plot proper to begin. Sure, there were a few "odd" moments at the start, but it looked like I may have made the right choice and Mellick was here for the splatterpunk and less the Bizarro.
Well, I was wrong.
Between the character with a fetish for abortions and another who has Vagina Dentata, I assure you that things do in fact get weird.
In his opening introduction, Mellick says that he wasn't trying to be shocking, "just interesting." Well, if you really believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. You can't have the above mentioned topics (plus many more, I assure you) and not expect some people to be shocked. I'm not even calling shocking as an immediately bad thing, but to say it was unintentional is a joke... about the only slightly funny joke in the book.
Here's the thing though, and this will no doubt come down to different reading philosophies for different readers, but random weird things doesn't particularly come off as interesting to me. It comes off as... random. Honestly, the most interesting thing was the epilogue's explanation of a few events that happened in the novel (which are major spoilers, so will not be discussed here). It was the closest thing to a shining moment of creativity that I could genuinely appreciate, but really at that point I was grasping for anything to praise about the book.
The book is an utter failure in my opinion. As a parody of slashers, it isn't funny and instead comes off as the stupidest slasher story ever written; one that could never be filmed because of all the shocking (I'm sorry... "interesting") content thrown in, and anything that could be considered funny is just sad in how terribly done it is (if, dear reader, you want an actually funny parody of slashers, I highly suggest checking out Larry instead).
Do I recommend this novel? Obviously not. I'm not sure I've ever said this in a review before, but I see zero redeeming value in this book. I'm sure it has its fans, and I won't even judge Mellick as an author by this one book, but it's obviously not for me and gives me no desire to seek anything else by him out. 1/5 stars
"Are we really doing this joke again?" I ask myself as press for the next page on my Kindle.
"Yes, this is serious. I'm worried about you Tim. I know you've had a recent foray into horror, and I'm tolerantly accepting that for the moment, but this latest book... seriously?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's called 'Apeshit' Tim. Are you really going out reading a book called 'Apeshit' and with a cover like that?"
"You will note that I already mentioned the Kindle, so, well, yes."
"'APESHIT' TIM! That's going on you permanent rating shelf! Are you proud of yourself?'
"Very rarely."
"Please, please tell me it's not as bad as it sounds?"
"Worse," I say. "Much, much worse."
"How much worse?"
"It's like a train wreck in slow motion while being on the train."
"..."
"..."
"You're not going to actually review it are you?"
"I wouldn't bother finishing it if I wasn't."
"Will it at least be 1 star?"
*Checks rating above.* "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can guarantee that one."
________
Okay, so how to begin the review proper here? Well, there were no apes, but at least one aspect of the title was correct.
I've never read a Bizarro novel before. Honestly, while I am a horror fan, the Bizarro sub-genre has personally never really held much appeal. Random shit happening just for the sake of being weird hasn't really appealed to me since I was in my early teens. I'm not making a blanket statement on the genre as a whole, or casting judgment upon it, as I have no doubt that there are gems in the sub-genre, just that it has little enough appeal that I'm not about to really hunt for them.
So then, why did I read a book by Carlton Mellick III, who is apparently the Bizarro King? Honestly I read it because it was presented as a parody of slasher flicks, and I confess that I have a love for self-aware slasher parodies. I figured that with a title like Apeshit, and someone who says immediately in the intro that he wanted to capture the feel of those really cheesy low budget horror movies in book form, well, I'd at least be entertained.
Yeah... For a while I was entertained. Sure, it wasn't a "good" book, but as we were introduced to our walking cliched teens (with just enough subversion that I thought we might be in for a clever ride) I was ready for the plot proper to begin. Sure, there were a few "odd" moments at the start, but it looked like I may have made the right choice and Mellick was here for the splatterpunk and less the Bizarro.
Well, I was wrong.
Between the character with a fetish for abortions and another who has Vagina Dentata, I assure you that things do in fact get weird.
In his opening introduction, Mellick says that he wasn't trying to be shocking, "just interesting." Well, if you really believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. You can't have the above mentioned topics (plus many more, I assure you) and not expect some people to be shocked. I'm not even calling shocking as an immediately bad thing, but to say it was unintentional is a joke... about the only slightly funny joke in the book.
Here's the thing though, and this will no doubt come down to different reading philosophies for different readers, but random weird things doesn't particularly come off as interesting to me. It comes off as... random. Honestly, the most interesting thing was the epilogue's explanation of a few events that happened in the novel (which are major spoilers, so will not be discussed here). It was the closest thing to a shining moment of creativity that I could genuinely appreciate, but really at that point I was grasping for anything to praise about the book.
The book is an utter failure in my opinion. As a parody of slashers, it isn't funny and instead comes off as the stupidest slasher story ever written; one that could never be filmed because of all the shocking (I'm sorry... "interesting") content thrown in, and anything that could be considered funny is just sad in how terribly done it is (if, dear reader, you want an actually funny parody of slashers, I highly suggest checking out Larry instead).
Do I recommend this novel? Obviously not. I'm not sure I've ever said this in a review before, but I see zero redeeming value in this book. I'm sure it has its fans, and I won't even judge Mellick as an author by this one book, but it's obviously not for me and gives me no desire to seek anything else by him out. 1/5 stars
November 8, 2015
What the fuck can I say about Apeshit, well pretty often, almost as easy as the flip of a coin, the story went from flat-out batshit crazy to head shaking incredulous wonder.
We have six college kids taking off for a break to a country retreat, one of the kids grandfather has died and left him the cabin. So that’s where they are heading. There's plenty of weirdness in this story, on the way up the perilous mountain road to the cabin they run past an area full of dead animals and a random dead bloke at the side of the road. The animal apocalypse it seems but that’s pretty tame as expectations should go.
Now these aren't your average college kids, one's a tattooed cheerleader sporting a mohican who happens to be in a relationship with two of the guys. She spends the majority of the book running round with her intestines hanging out, performing the odd lasso trick. There's a couple who don't have sex and it might be said, get up to some pretty funny sexual activities. That's not funny haha, that's fucked up funny. One guy has had an alleged urinary tract infection for a number of months that's prevented him taking part in the shagging Olympics going down but oh! fucking no, stupid boy, he's had an altogether different operation that... yeah you'd have to read it.
They arrive at the cabin and its total madness, total fucked up mayhem and yes the review does completely deserve this many expletives, there's mutants and a heap load of freakish, rifuckingdiculously queer and downright outlandish shit going on.
Did I enjoy it? I don't think I'll ever be able to answer that, it felt weird and it’s written with an extremely simplistic writing style. This author is as nutty as a dive bomb into a swimming pool full of peanuts and he certainly entertains but I'll be forever torn between genius and padded cell.
Also posted at http://paulnelson.booklikes.com/post/...
We have six college kids taking off for a break to a country retreat, one of the kids grandfather has died and left him the cabin. So that’s where they are heading. There's plenty of weirdness in this story, on the way up the perilous mountain road to the cabin they run past an area full of dead animals and a random dead bloke at the side of the road. The animal apocalypse it seems but that’s pretty tame as expectations should go.
Now these aren't your average college kids, one's a tattooed cheerleader sporting a mohican who happens to be in a relationship with two of the guys. She spends the majority of the book running round with her intestines hanging out, performing the odd lasso trick. There's a couple who don't have sex and it might be said, get up to some pretty funny sexual activities. That's not funny haha, that's fucked up funny. One guy has had an alleged urinary tract infection for a number of months that's prevented him taking part in the shagging Olympics going down but oh! fucking no, stupid boy, he's had an altogether different operation that... yeah you'd have to read it.
They arrive at the cabin and its total madness, total fucked up mayhem and yes the review does completely deserve this many expletives, there's mutants and a heap load of freakish, rifuckingdiculously queer and downright outlandish shit going on.
Did I enjoy it? I don't think I'll ever be able to answer that, it felt weird and it’s written with an extremely simplistic writing style. This author is as nutty as a dive bomb into a swimming pool full of peanuts and he certainly entertains but I'll be forever torn between genius and padded cell.
Also posted at http://paulnelson.booklikes.com/post/...
July 30, 2011
Six teenagers go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Little did they know they'd end up with a psychotic monster trying to kill them...
Wow. This was the goriest, craziest, goriest book I've read this year. I realize I said "goriest" twice but this book is so gory I thought one "goriest" wasn't going to cut it. It started out like a typical slasher movie. Three guys, three girls, various sexual entanglements. Then the inbred mutant showed up and things got turned upside down. I devoured it in two sittings. Luckily, not while I was trying to eat.
Seriously, there's enough weird sex and gore in this book to sate anyone's bloodlust. How many books have you read that feature a woman with her intestines hanging out for half the book, a woman with an abortion fetish, and another with teeth in her vagina? And all that's in the first forty or fifty pages! Much weirder things happen later.
The twist at the end was nicely done. I was wondering how everyone was still alive and the ending wrapped things up very neatly.
While it's definitely not for the squeamish, Apeshit is a crazy tribute to slasher flicks and is quite a wild ride. Just don't try to read it while you're eating.
Wow. This was the goriest, craziest, goriest book I've read this year. I realize I said "goriest" twice but this book is so gory I thought one "goriest" wasn't going to cut it. It started out like a typical slasher movie. Three guys, three girls, various sexual entanglements. Then the inbred mutant showed up and things got turned upside down. I devoured it in two sittings. Luckily, not while I was trying to eat.
Seriously, there's enough weird sex and gore in this book to sate anyone's bloodlust. How many books have you read that feature a woman with her intestines hanging out for half the book, a woman with an abortion fetish, and another with teeth in her vagina? And all that's in the first forty or fifty pages! Much weirder things happen later.
The twist at the end was nicely done. I was wondering how everyone was still alive and the ending wrapped things up very neatly.
While it's definitely not for the squeamish, Apeshit is a crazy tribute to slasher flicks and is quite a wild ride. Just don't try to read it while you're eating.
August 1, 2022
(Boys)
"Ready for a weekend of sex, drugs and alcohol?"
"Hell yeah!"
(Girls)
"Let's go have a fun weekend."
"Can't wait!"
HA HA HA! - DREAM ON. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE CLASSIC HORROR WARNINGS SIGNS.
Including -
Scary ass redneck inbreds.
A cabin like it was plucked straight from The Evil Dead.
Strong advice to turn around and go home.
Piles of animal carcasses that ain't roadkill.
And no, you don't go wondering off to take a piss in the woods after hearing strange noises.
But hey, what's not to like about a bunch of cocky frat boy types and stupid cheerleaders getting getting up close with a crazed lunatic mutant fucker?
It's cliché overload, all over the place later on, and not as original or fun as the previous Mellick novel I'd read - The Cannibals of Candyland - but it very much lives up to its title of being apeshit when it comes to the killer - Buddy the Lobster Boy, along with the total craziness of those staying in the cabin trying to survive.
Speaking of titles, this guy has some great titles to go with with his great mutton chops - The Haunted Vagina, The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, to name a few.
If I where Eli Roth - director of Hostel, Cabin Fever & The Green Inferno - I would have been drooling and wetting myself over this one. For me, It was alright. The vagina dentata was the best thing about it. Brushing those teeth was something different that's for sure. In the end, it was just as much exploitation porn as it was horror.
September 8, 2021
Before I even start my review, this book gets ALL the trigger warnings, from rape to abortion and everything in between. So be VERY aware of that before you even consider picking it up. I’m not someone who is easily disturbed, I have a very very dark and morbid sense of humour and this book managed to make me need to take a pause and a depth breath before being able to continue. It’s so far beyond disturbing at some places that I don’t even have the words to describe it. It is truly indescribable. I don’t know what it says about me that I enjoyed the fuck out of it despite being so disturbed by it. (I feel like I’m using disturbed too much but that’s just what this damn book is, DISTURBING!!!) Now that I’ve exhausted the use of the word disturbing, let’s move on. This was quite different than the other Mellick’s I’ve read so far, they’ve all been weird as fuck but this one had more of a serious bent to it whereas the others had a humorous side to them. This one was just weird and gory as fuck with no humour, just insanity. My only complaint is the ending, I thought it stretched things too far and didn’t feel right for the story. I would have preferred it ended in a different way, the way it seemed to be going right up until the last pages but you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.
December 31, 2008
Most fucked up book I've ever published
June 22, 2022
I Loved it!!!
I will definitely read more books by Carlton Mellick III!!
I like to read weird, grotesque, violent stories, but for me, a coherent plot and good characters development are important.
I don’t like it, when I feel like I’m reading someone’s diary, with lots of ideas in it, and sometimes deviant fetishes with no structure and meaning. In my opinion, even chaotic events can be told in an understanding way. Otherwise, it's not interesting for me.
I want to be entertained. That’s why I read books, in the first place.
With Carlton Mellick III, I’m always satisfied. The craziest things seem logical, in his books. Because there’s consistency in his bizarre stories. I love his imagination!
Apeshit, is bizarre, gory, bloody, disgusting, disturbing, inventive, hilarious and well written.
I highly recommend it, to readers who are looking for something different and don’t have any triggers.
I will definitely read more books by Carlton Mellick III!!
I like to read weird, grotesque, violent stories, but for me, a coherent plot and good characters development are important.
I don’t like it, when I feel like I’m reading someone’s diary, with lots of ideas in it, and sometimes deviant fetishes with no structure and meaning. In my opinion, even chaotic events can be told in an understanding way. Otherwise, it's not interesting for me.
I want to be entertained. That’s why I read books, in the first place.
With Carlton Mellick III, I’m always satisfied. The craziest things seem logical, in his books. Because there’s consistency in his bizarre stories. I love his imagination!
Apeshit, is bizarre, gory, bloody, disgusting, disturbing, inventive, hilarious and well written.
I highly recommend it, to readers who are looking for something different and don’t have any triggers.
August 14, 2025
4.5 stars, definitely did not disappoint!! from the first time i even saw the cover of this book i already knew that i was gonna really enjoy reading this… and i was absolutely right :)
February 20, 2013
3.5/5
Maybe I've read too much splatterpunk. Folks like Skipp/Spector (John Skipp and Craig Spector), David J. Schow, and later authors like Edward Lee and Bryan Smith. And the granddaddy of them all: Clive Barker and his Books of Blood, Vols. 1-3. In splatterpunk, writers seek to push the envelope of good taste off the side of a desk, light fire to the envelope (and the desk), kick the smouldering ashes into the face of the first passerby, and - in some cases - stick out and wiggle their collective tongue at said passerby as he or she attempts to put out their newly afire hair. If you have a strong stomach, splatterpunk is great fun. If you have a weak stomach, it's fun for others to watch you attempt it. But after a while you feel like you've seen it all. And then what was once shocking to some, humorous to others (however perverse), and titillating to a small few (you know who you are, you sickie) becomes commonplace.
As fun as Apeshit was to read, as quickly as the story moved, there was so much of this that I felt I've seen before. The book is blurbed as: "[the author's] love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle..." Okay, if you've seen any 80s horror flicks, you know the plot. If you don't, watch The Evil Dead and see why Sam Raimi, though now making big budget, fairly snoozy movies, will forever be a badass for unleashing into the world this low budget horror masterpiece in which blood literally runs down the screen.
Having read some of Mellick's work before and knowing his penchant for the bizarre, I was expecting this to be a lot weirder than it was. This read like any modern splatterpunk novel. There's a tinge of bizarre fantasy, a couple of is-that-all-you-could-come-up-with? 'bizarro' character traits, but it's nothing of the caliber that Mellick is known for.
But then, maybe I've read too much of both genres. Maybe after a certain point there's nothing shocking or bizarre enough to make me say, Damn, yall, you gotta try this shit, this shit is crazy!
The good thing about this is that it's a brisk read and does bring back fond memories of 80s splatter flicks. If you go in expecting a typical splatterpunk novel, this more than works. If you go in expecting, as the blurb claims, "perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written," you may be disappointed. Because like Friday the 13th, this one is pretty typical.
Maybe I've read too much splatterpunk. Folks like Skipp/Spector (John Skipp and Craig Spector), David J. Schow, and later authors like Edward Lee and Bryan Smith. And the granddaddy of them all: Clive Barker and his Books of Blood, Vols. 1-3. In splatterpunk, writers seek to push the envelope of good taste off the side of a desk, light fire to the envelope (and the desk), kick the smouldering ashes into the face of the first passerby, and - in some cases - stick out and wiggle their collective tongue at said passerby as he or she attempts to put out their newly afire hair. If you have a strong stomach, splatterpunk is great fun. If you have a weak stomach, it's fun for others to watch you attempt it. But after a while you feel like you've seen it all. And then what was once shocking to some, humorous to others (however perverse), and titillating to a small few (you know who you are, you sickie) becomes commonplace.
As fun as Apeshit was to read, as quickly as the story moved, there was so much of this that I felt I've seen before. The book is blurbed as: "[the author's] love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle..." Okay, if you've seen any 80s horror flicks, you know the plot. If you don't, watch The Evil Dead and see why Sam Raimi, though now making big budget, fairly snoozy movies, will forever be a badass for unleashing into the world this low budget horror masterpiece in which blood literally runs down the screen.
Having read some of Mellick's work before and knowing his penchant for the bizarre, I was expecting this to be a lot weirder than it was. This read like any modern splatterpunk novel. There's a tinge of bizarre fantasy, a couple of is-that-all-you-could-come-up-with? 'bizarro' character traits, but it's nothing of the caliber that Mellick is known for.
But then, maybe I've read too much of both genres. Maybe after a certain point there's nothing shocking or bizarre enough to make me say, Damn, yall, you gotta try this shit, this shit is crazy!
The good thing about this is that it's a brisk read and does bring back fond memories of 80s splatter flicks. If you go in expecting a typical splatterpunk novel, this more than works. If you go in expecting, as the blurb claims, "perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written," you may be disappointed. Because like Friday the 13th, this one is pretty typical.
December 24, 2013
Six characters bring all their dysfunctions and emotional baggage to a cabin in the woods up on Turtle Mountain. Desdemona is a cheerleader with a mohawk and covered in butterfly tattoos. She is in a threesome relationship with Kevin and Rick (who has recently undergone a sex change but not to be a woman, just a guy with a vagina). Crystal has an abortion fetish. She and her 'lover', Jason, can't get off unless they're looking at black market photography of said operations. Stephanie has vagina dentata and will keep it a secret at all costs.
You'd think this would be enough to make the characters memorable, but honestly, I wanted them all to die which, with the exception of a few who leave the woods, doesn't happen. Apparently, there are supernatural properties that circumvent the death process. Enter Lobster Boy and his mate, who are out to make the sextet suffer exquisitely.
Now, with all this being said, Carlton prefaces the book with a warning that many will leave its contents with the impression that he deliberately piled on the massive amounts of blood, sex and gore. To this, I say 'SO WHAT?' I think most horror stories are written deliberately. To me, it's become a huge myth that stories just 'happen' on their own with no planning, no pacing, no deliberation at all. It's like one guy said the writing process worked that way for him, and ever since, every author has been miming his routine to seem like he's not really trying. But it is more commendable to me when authors set out with a goal and they accomplish it. I think Carlton DID set out to write Apeshit exactly the way he did, and I have no qualms with that, moral or otherwise. Carlton is Carlton, and if you haven't already read his most emotionally stirring work, Quicksand House, I suggest you do so, along with this one, of course. Wait until I tell you about the follow up to this one, Clusterfuck!
You'd think this would be enough to make the characters memorable, but honestly, I wanted them all to die which, with the exception of a few who leave the woods, doesn't happen. Apparently, there are supernatural properties that circumvent the death process. Enter Lobster Boy and his mate, who are out to make the sextet suffer exquisitely.
Now, with all this being said, Carlton prefaces the book with a warning that many will leave its contents with the impression that he deliberately piled on the massive amounts of blood, sex and gore. To this, I say 'SO WHAT?' I think most horror stories are written deliberately. To me, it's become a huge myth that stories just 'happen' on their own with no planning, no pacing, no deliberation at all. It's like one guy said the writing process worked that way for him, and ever since, every author has been miming his routine to seem like he's not really trying. But it is more commendable to me when authors set out with a goal and they accomplish it. I think Carlton DID set out to write Apeshit exactly the way he did, and I have no qualms with that, moral or otherwise. Carlton is Carlton, and if you haven't already read his most emotionally stirring work, Quicksand House, I suggest you do so, along with this one, of course. Wait until I tell you about the follow up to this one, Clusterfuck!
January 4, 2016
Carlton Mellick III may not be my favourite writer, but he sure is intelligent. I know this because in his Author's note which prefaces Apeshit he defends against the obvious accusation that the book is shocking for the sake of being shocking by saying this couldn't be further from the truth. Instead he suggests he's trying to be interesting for the sake of being interesting.
Well if this is the type of "interesting" Mellick III is pedaling, I think I'll get my wares else where, thank you kindly. Because overly simplistic, almost childlike writing about grossly despicable people doing grossly despicable things gets tiresome and boring very fast. It's also next to impossible to care about any of the characters, so that when they die (or at least when I thought they did), I could muster up little more than a tired cheer that there was one less grossly despicable person I had to keep reading about.
Seriously, I found this one to be extremely painful. It's bizarro, so nothing is supposed to make any kind of realistic sense, but at least with the other Mellick III novel I read, Zombies and Shit, there was a sense of outlandish fun to be had. Apeshit just feels like Mellick III is desperately trying to get his name changed to Mellick !!!
Not for me; may be for others. Enjoy if you can.
1 Cabin in the Woods Story Unlike Anything Else You've Ever Read for Apeshit.
Well if this is the type of "interesting" Mellick III is pedaling, I think I'll get my wares else where, thank you kindly. Because overly simplistic, almost childlike writing about grossly despicable people doing grossly despicable things gets tiresome and boring very fast. It's also next to impossible to care about any of the characters, so that when they die (or at least when I thought they did), I could muster up little more than a tired cheer that there was one less grossly despicable person I had to keep reading about.
Seriously, I found this one to be extremely painful. It's bizarro, so nothing is supposed to make any kind of realistic sense, but at least with the other Mellick III novel I read, Zombies and Shit, there was a sense of outlandish fun to be had. Apeshit just feels like Mellick III is desperately trying to get his name changed to Mellick !!!
Not for me; may be for others. Enjoy if you can.
1 Cabin in the Woods Story Unlike Anything Else You've Ever Read for Apeshit.
May 10, 2022
What in the hell did I just read?
I suspect that's a pretty common thought for most readers having just finished wading through the slick gory entrails of an extreme horror/bizarro book for the first time.
I popped my bizarro cherry with APESHIT and I'm not sure how I feel about it;
Scared? A little.
Sickened? Sure.
Aroused? Hell no.
Interested in reading more? I think so...God help me...
APESHIT pits a group of horny isolated teens enjoying a trip away in a cabin in the woods, recently inherited by one of the groups' members against horror incarnate; deformed human like creatures who just don't die and who only want to inflict pain in the most gruesome way possible. Naturally the blood flows equal to other bodily fluids as the group is steadily picked off one by one in between bouts of weird sex and character development true to the bizarro theme.
Once you get over the stomach churning murder scenes and equally stomach churning sexual escapades, APESHIT resembles a fine form of survival horror in similar vein to the Dead River series by legendary horror author Jack Ketchum.
I certainly recommended giving this one a shot but do so with eyes wide open.
I suspect that's a pretty common thought for most readers having just finished wading through the slick gory entrails of an extreme horror/bizarro book for the first time.
I popped my bizarro cherry with APESHIT and I'm not sure how I feel about it;
Scared? A little.
Sickened? Sure.
Aroused? Hell no.
Interested in reading more? I think so...God help me...
APESHIT pits a group of horny isolated teens enjoying a trip away in a cabin in the woods, recently inherited by one of the groups' members against horror incarnate; deformed human like creatures who just don't die and who only want to inflict pain in the most gruesome way possible. Naturally the blood flows equal to other bodily fluids as the group is steadily picked off one by one in between bouts of weird sex and character development true to the bizarro theme.
Once you get over the stomach churning murder scenes and equally stomach churning sexual escapades, APESHIT resembles a fine form of survival horror in similar vein to the Dead River series by legendary horror author Jack Ketchum.
I certainly recommended giving this one a shot but do so with eyes wide open.
March 31, 2017
This book started really well for me. The story was already fairly obvious which kinds of teen slashers it was going to be spoofing and the characters were breaking all the stereotypes of the horror movie group of teens. I was sold. However, as the story progressed further I felt like I wanted a refund. The story remained entertaining throughout but not necessarily in a good way. More in a 'oh my god, what the fuck?' kind of way. Which, I guess means the author still did their job but the more crazy and random and 'shocking' it got, the less interested I actually became. By the end I was just skimming most of it because I was bored. Bored? Of a book that has people with weird sexual fetishes, a girl with her intestines hanging out for most of the book, one twist and turn and surprise in nearly every moment? Yes! Because it became too much. Do you know when things become less shocking and interesting? When they're over done. That was what happened with this book, in my opinion. It was all too much. There was too much wedged into this one story. You know how so many people complained about Spiderman 3 because they thought there were too many villains in it? Well, that's how I felt about this book. There were too many random plot points and rather than adding to the story, they took away from it. I am aware that this is bizarro fiction and having a lot of weirdness in it comes with the territory. I get that. I usually love that. However, I feel like it works best when they take one weird concept and just run with that. Clogging it up with too many other things doesn't make the story funnier or more interesting, it just takes away any impact that the rest may have. The plots used in this book could've been split into at least 3 or 4 different books which would've all worked probably quite well as their own concepts but when combined, rather than creating some super powered up story of awesome it becomes a big mess of average.
It still managed to stay at 2 stars and didn't fall down to 1 because there were parts of it that I found amusing and entertaining and the beginning was done so well. Even for all my complaining and the fact that I got bored with parts of it, I still carried on reading it because it did hook me in and for that it deserves to stay at 2 stars.
It still managed to stay at 2 stars and didn't fall down to 1 because there were parts of it that I found amusing and entertaining and the beginning was done so well. Even for all my complaining and the fact that I got bored with parts of it, I still carried on reading it because it did hook me in and for that it deserves to stay at 2 stars.
December 28, 2011
Speaking as someone who's read --and completely enjoyed-- a lot of crack fic, parody novellas, and disturbing horror stories; this was extremely badly written crack fic at its worst. Perhaps there are people who want to read stories where none of the characters are relatable, redeemable, or even remotely realistic. It tries so hard to shock while not realizing that you have to care to some degree to be shocked. The characters are so removed from reality that it's impossible to care for them even on a basic 'they are supposed to be living sentient creatures' level. That, coupled with the fact that the violence and gore are written like a badly done parody to actual extreme violence and gore, the story ends up reading like mundane trash trying to be a disturbing commentary on society's consumption of said violence and gore.
Personally, I'm offended that someone had the nerve to say that a person who loved Evil Dead must read this, or had the nerve to say it's the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It's more like the literary equivalent of a badly written rip-off film done by high teenagers with a hand-held camcorder and no budget. I've seen that movie, and it's not worth the VHS tape it was recorded on.
Personally, I'm offended that someone had the nerve to say that a person who loved Evil Dead must read this, or had the nerve to say it's the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It's more like the literary equivalent of a badly written rip-off film done by high teenagers with a hand-held camcorder and no budget. I've seen that movie, and it's not worth the VHS tape it was recorded on.
April 7, 2018
This book was my introduction to Carlton Mellick III. I loved it! I am a fan of cheesy b-horror movies and this is like a b-horror movie but smarter and better. Thank you, Mr. Mellick, for real!
I wrote the above statement/mini-review after I read Apeshit the first time. Having recently completed the book for the second time, as it was the March read for the horror book club I belong to, I must say that I don't really have much more to add. I just really, really love this book! It's difficult and disturbing at points, it's beautiful and dark at points, and other parts are totally laugh out loud funny and astounding. At this point I feel it's pretty much the perfect book for me and is now basically my favorite book of all time.
I wrote the above statement/mini-review after I read Apeshit the first time. Having recently completed the book for the second time, as it was the March read for the horror book club I belong to, I must say that I don't really have much more to add. I just really, really love this book! It's difficult and disturbing at points, it's beautiful and dark at points, and other parts are totally laugh out loud funny and astounding. At this point I feel it's pretty much the perfect book for me and is now basically my favorite book of all time.
February 28, 2025
If any other author wrote this, I'd probably give it 1 or 2 stars, but Carlton's creativity and storytelling skills overshadow some (not all) of the novel’s faults. As is the case with many of Carlton's earlier works, I don't think the prose is very good. There are entire paragraphs where every sentence begins with a noun followed by a verb, and the words “of” and “that” can be deleted at least fifty times.
Another complaint I have is the backstory for each character. Some of this backstory, specifically for the characters Jason and Crystal, is integral to the plot, and only makes the story better. But most of the backstory (even some for the aforementioned characters) can either be shortened or eliminated altogether, as many of these insignificant details serve no purpose in propelling the narrative forward.
As for the positives, I laughed out loud at least twice while reading this, a rare thing in literature. (The humor is immature and crude, just an FYI, which is right up my alley.) One of my favorite scenes is about a character having a major case of diarrhea, in the middle of the woods, while her boyfriend is breaking up with her.
"You're dumping me while I'm taking a dump?"
Another insane scene occurs during the climax, so I'll save that for readers interested in picking up the book. Overall, it's leagues better than most indie fiction out there, but far inferior to many of Carlton's later works.
As of writing, these are my favorite CM3 books, in no particular order:
- Quicksand House
- The Big Meat
- Stacking Doll
- Bio Melt
Another complaint I have is the backstory for each character. Some of this backstory, specifically for the characters Jason and Crystal, is integral to the plot, and only makes the story better. But most of the backstory (even some for the aforementioned characters) can either be shortened or eliminated altogether, as many of these insignificant details serve no purpose in propelling the narrative forward.
As for the positives, I laughed out loud at least twice while reading this, a rare thing in literature. (The humor is immature and crude, just an FYI, which is right up my alley.) One of my favorite scenes is about a character having a major case of diarrhea, in the middle of the woods, while her boyfriend is breaking up with her.
"You're dumping me while I'm taking a dump?"
Another insane scene occurs during the climax, so I'll save that for readers interested in picking up the book. Overall, it's leagues better than most indie fiction out there, but far inferior to many of Carlton's later works.
As of writing, these are my favorite CM3 books, in no particular order:
- Quicksand House
- The Big Meat
- Stacking Doll
- Bio Melt
January 24, 2024
I can't believe it's almost five years since I've first read this. Apparently, that was a good enough interval for me to forget all the truly gnarly things this book throws out there. Normally I can't really stand authors who are trying to just freak you out by thinking of the most disgusting and disturbing things they can, but Mellick never really goes into the nastier details. A single line is all he needs to get the point across, making it read as less indulgent than lesser authors.
I'd love to just watch someone's reaction while reading this, like how the best gore/horror movies get when you show them to people for the first time. I think it's great fun.
--1st review--
I loved it. Another mundane trope dressed up in Mellick's twisted combination of grisly body horror, morbid fetishism and cringey yet effective humor has yet to leave me dissatisfied.
I'd love to just watch someone's reaction while reading this, like how the best gore/horror movies get when you show them to people for the first time. I think it's great fun.
--1st review--
I loved it. Another mundane trope dressed up in Mellick's twisted combination of grisly body horror, morbid fetishism and cringey yet effective humor has yet to leave me dissatisfied.
October 13, 2011
As a long time horror fan, I'm tough to gross out and/or disturb, but this book just about managed to do it. Mellick's take on the classic "teenagers go to a remote cabin in the woods, crazy things happen" is so amped up, so extreme, so incredibly messed up, that's sort of mesmerizing in a way. I think what I liked the most is how the author peels back layers upon layers (figuratively and literally) from the main characters revealing the ugliness and profound degree of "messedupness" that makes you wonder who the monsters really are. It's be a tough book to recommend, but I liked it and I'd be interested to read more of the author's work.
January 15, 2024
As soon as I read the blurb I had to buy this. As a fan of Mellick and cheesy b-movies it was an obvious no brainer. You can look at Apeshit as an homage to cheesy horror or a parody and both would be correct. To be fair this book is a nasty yet fun mess.
Mellick has perfectly blended splatterpunk and bizarro and offers no apologies. There are quite a few disturbing scenes and the second half of the book is a gore fest. People that should die don't and as Apeshit winds to its conclusion you are thrown balls deep into bizarro.
It doesn't really matter what Apeshit is because it all works. The splatterpunk and bizarro mesh well and the story itself has the perfect hook that keeps you reading despite the insanity that Mellick throws at you. This is by far my favorite Mellick book and hated to see it end.
Mellick has perfectly blended splatterpunk and bizarro and offers no apologies. There are quite a few disturbing scenes and the second half of the book is a gore fest. People that should die don't and as Apeshit winds to its conclusion you are thrown balls deep into bizarro.
It doesn't really matter what Apeshit is because it all works. The splatterpunk and bizarro mesh well and the story itself has the perfect hook that keeps you reading despite the insanity that Mellick throws at you. This is by far my favorite Mellick book and hated to see it end.
July 8, 2019
As brutal and twisted and messed up and psychotic as this book is... I gotta give it 5 stars! The most effed up book I've ever read. Full review to come!
June 29, 2011
4 AND 1/2 STARS.
After reading this book, it took me less than one minute to go online and order more titles from this author. He's that good. I've heard his name mentioned as one of the better writers of the new Bizarro genre, but I don't think that does him justice. Forget whether you like Bizarro or not, or even if you know that heck that is. Mellick is a great writer. Period. His prose is simple and direct, always cutting through the fat to get to the meat... and I mean the juicy meat. This book had a few typos, felt too short, and had an ending that was wrapped up a little too quickly, but it was still the most fun I've had reading all year.
I do hope that Mellick will continue to write in the horror genre and although this book is considered Bizarro, I think it could fit in perfectly in the horror genre without that confusing label. Take the storyline of a Richard Laymon book, add in the depraved sex of Edward Lee, the darkness of Greg F. Gifune, the gore factor of Wrath James White, the strange reality of Tim Waggoner, and the complicated characters and spontaneous violence of Tom Piccirilli, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what you're in for. A must read for fans of extreme horror.
After reading this book, it took me less than one minute to go online and order more titles from this author. He's that good. I've heard his name mentioned as one of the better writers of the new Bizarro genre, but I don't think that does him justice. Forget whether you like Bizarro or not, or even if you know that heck that is. Mellick is a great writer. Period. His prose is simple and direct, always cutting through the fat to get to the meat... and I mean the juicy meat. This book had a few typos, felt too short, and had an ending that was wrapped up a little too quickly, but it was still the most fun I've had reading all year.
I do hope that Mellick will continue to write in the horror genre and although this book is considered Bizarro, I think it could fit in perfectly in the horror genre without that confusing label. Take the storyline of a Richard Laymon book, add in the depraved sex of Edward Lee, the darkness of Greg F. Gifune, the gore factor of Wrath James White, the strange reality of Tim Waggoner, and the complicated characters and spontaneous violence of Tom Piccirilli, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what you're in for. A must read for fans of extreme horror.
November 5, 2014
I am a huge fan of CM3 and hadn't read any of his horror novels before. I love slasher flicks and psychological horror. This is a book version of everything I love about splatter and exploitation films and gives it that Bizarro twist we all know and love.
A hot, tattooed cheerleader named Desdemona, goes with a group of her jock and cheerleader friends on a camping trip. This is the start of a classic slasher but as soon as a road filled with dead animals and a living dead hillbilly turn up, you know some Bizarro stuff is going to go down!
I loved the originality of "Apesht," there's punk rock elements mixed in with Evil Dead and Friday the 13th horror. I also enjoy the weird fetishes some of the characters have. I don't want to reveal too much about this book but if you are a fan of slasher movies with a surreal Takashi Miike-like twist mixed with original horror from an awesome writer who knows the genre extremely well, you will love this book!
A hot, tattooed cheerleader named Desdemona, goes with a group of her jock and cheerleader friends on a camping trip. This is the start of a classic slasher but as soon as a road filled with dead animals and a living dead hillbilly turn up, you know some Bizarro stuff is going to go down!
I loved the originality of "Apesht," there's punk rock elements mixed in with Evil Dead and Friday the 13th horror. I also enjoy the weird fetishes some of the characters have. I don't want to reveal too much about this book but if you are a fan of slasher movies with a surreal Takashi Miike-like twist mixed with original horror from an awesome writer who knows the genre extremely well, you will love this book!
September 24, 2013
Read this book in a few hours and I'm glad I didn't put it down, even though it was a school night. Apeshit was well done, the character development was hilarious, albeit a bit rushed at times (Crystal having anti-social personality disorder is one example--Spoiler?)
Anyways, what good fun! I love b-movies and I enjoy the 'cabin in the woods' setting, and the inbreeding hillbillies. Oh how it reminds me of that one X-Files episode where Mulder finds this weird remote shack pretty much in the middle of nowehere, where all these murders occur. By the end, you kinda feel bad for the inbreds, but not really, because it's gross and you want to puke. I kinda felt the same way towards the end of the book.
Anyways, what good fun! I love b-movies and I enjoy the 'cabin in the woods' setting, and the inbreeding hillbillies. Oh how it reminds me of that one X-Files episode where Mulder finds this weird remote shack pretty much in the middle of nowehere, where all these murders occur. By the end, you kinda feel bad for the inbreds, but not really, because it's gross and you want to puke. I kinda felt the same way towards the end of the book.
February 18, 2018
I only started reading Bizarro fiction a year ago or so, mainly because I wanted something different, and you can't get more different than Bizarro. Apeshit was ok, there were some memorable moments and overall this was a fun read, with the last 20% of the book getting totally crazy, and the ending was pretty sweet, however I prefer Mellick's other works for the sheer outrageousness that he injects into every aspect of his writing.
August 20, 2022
Existuje vtip. Je to vtip, který se na veřejnosti neříká, kteří si komici vypráví jen mezi sebou. Je to vysloveně jazzový vtip, obdoba hudebního improvizačního sóla, vtip postavený na řetězení zvráceností, úchylností a brutalit v rodinném prostředí. Nejde v něm o pointu, jde o sám akt vyprávění, o co nejlepší řazení, podání a gradaci nechuťáren. Ten vtip se jmenuje Aristocrats a pokud by vás zajímal, byl o něm natočený zajímavý dokumentární film.
Magořina jsou Aristokrati v románovém provedení... což je asi to nejpřesnější shrnutí, jakého jsem schopen. A pokud knihu nebudete pojímat z hlediska příběhu a věrohodnosti postav, ale čistě jako rytmicky řazený sled bizarních obrazů (asi nejkrotší je tu posedlost pornem s erotickými potraty), tak si to užijete.
Je tady asi největší pnutí mezi obsahem a formou. Zatímco většina ostatních u nás vydaných Mellickových děl se odehrávala už v šíleném světě, bizarnost měly v kostní dřeni (muž bydlící v domečku z lega, strašidelná vagína, svět ovládaný vraždícími plyšáky) tak tady je vlastně základní kostra dost civilní – skupina teenagerů vyráží na flám do lesů, aby je něco pozabíjelo. Což je zápletka ve své podstatě dost jasně daná, až dogmaticky pevná a přízemní. A střetnutí téhle pevné béčkové struktury s Mellickovým zběsile chaotickým dávkováním ničím neřízených ekhlaftózních makabráren, je něco, na co si člověk musí chvíli zvykat. Asi u delšího příběhu by to nefungovalo, naštěstí Mellick nepíše dlouhé příběhy - vrhne se na vás, zasype vás hnisavými strupy na penisu své představivosti a než stihnete doběhnout k záchodové míse, už mizí v dáli.
Ne, není to sofistikované, ale je to zábavné.
Magořina jsou Aristokrati v románovém provedení... což je asi to nejpřesnější shrnutí, jakého jsem schopen. A pokud knihu nebudete pojímat z hlediska příběhu a věrohodnosti postav, ale čistě jako rytmicky řazený sled bizarních obrazů (asi nejkrotší je tu posedlost pornem s erotickými potraty), tak si to užijete.
Je tady asi největší pnutí mezi obsahem a formou. Zatímco většina ostatních u nás vydaných Mellickových děl se odehrávala už v šíleném světě, bizarnost měly v kostní dřeni (muž bydlící v domečku z lega, strašidelná vagína, svět ovládaný vraždícími plyšáky) tak tady je vlastně základní kostra dost civilní – skupina teenagerů vyráží na flám do lesů, aby je něco pozabíjelo. Což je zápletka ve své podstatě dost jasně daná, až dogmaticky pevná a přízemní. A střetnutí téhle pevné béčkové struktury s Mellickovým zběsile chaotickým dávkováním ničím neřízených ekhlaftózních makabráren, je něco, na co si člověk musí chvíli zvykat. Asi u delšího příběhu by to nefungovalo, naštěstí Mellick nepíše dlouhé příběhy - vrhne se na vás, zasype vás hnisavými strupy na penisu své představivosti a než stihnete doběhnout k záchodové míse, už mizí v dáli.
Ne, není to sofistikované, ale je to zábavné.
August 18, 2022
„Prawdę mówiąc, każdy pisarz jest pełen fałszu. Wolałbym, żebyśmy byli pełni parówek w cieście, ale tak nie jest."
Syf, który uwielbiam!
Syf, który uwielbiam!
March 25, 2024
First time I read a creature feature where the book ends with the monster being fucked to death.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2011
Stop me if you’ve heard this before…
Six teenagers go to an isolated cabin for a party weekend of booze and sex, only to discover themselves being stalked by a mutant freak lurking in the woods.
Familiar? Of course it is. The author is an unapologetic fan of bad slasher B-movies, and this book is his indulgence. The problem can be that parodies of this kind often end up as a checklist of clichés masquerading as homage. But not here. We have Carlton Mellick III at the helm, and his imagination is far too out of control for that.
Much, in fact most of the content wanders from this beaten path. The author has countless nasty and hilarious tricks up his sleeve, but I’m not going to let on what they are. After all, the back cover blurb had the decency not to spoil anything for me. And to be honest, that is the only remotely “decent” thing about Apeshit.
The original idea was for a screenplay, which would be stunning if there’s anybody out there with the balls to film it uncut. The prose creates an appropriate cinematic feel, being comprised of short sentences and told in the present tense. This can be a risk, but it clearly comes naturally to the author.
But the real strength is the characters. The six teens - your average bunch of horny jocks and pretty cheerleaders at a glance - are so intriguing and damaged that we barely need any murderous slayers lurking in the woods. There’s so many neuroses, deformities and vile festishes bubbling beneath their clean-limbed exteriors that after a while, the mutants aren’t necessarily the main focus. They become just one thread amongst many, and the pace is powered by sharp dialogue as well as action. This author shines when nailing the subtle nuances of human interaction, and there are times when I was surprised by the level of insight and maturity in such a proudly “fucked-up” book.
One element of Apeshit I particularly admired, was that the idea of it being a parody fostered a deceptive sense of security. But there are times when the black humour takes a back seat to the horror, and this played cheeky mind games with my comfort zone. It’s a device I hadn’t yet encountered in the author’s work, and it added a welcome edge to the experience.
Other than a couple of annoying errors (I do wish these books were more thoroughly proof-read) I have no complaints. The elements are combined with the skill of a bestselling author, and at 170 pages of well-spaced text, it doesn’t outstay its welcome. Like any good showman, it leaves you wanting more. While considerably less bizarro than much of Carlton Mellick III’s canon, it soon descends into an outrageous gorefest, constantly surprising you with new highs (or lows!) of twisted imagination. And once you’ve got your breath back, the explanatory epilogue neatly ties up the sick little package.
The back cover declares it is perhaps one of the most fucked-up books ever written. For much of it, I thought “Nah, it’s not that bad”. By the end, I thought “Actually, maybe they’ve got a point…”
Recommended. If you’re a little tweaked in the head, buy it and enjoy. Then give it to your mum for Christmas.
Six teenagers go to an isolated cabin for a party weekend of booze and sex, only to discover themselves being stalked by a mutant freak lurking in the woods.
Familiar? Of course it is. The author is an unapologetic fan of bad slasher B-movies, and this book is his indulgence. The problem can be that parodies of this kind often end up as a checklist of clichés masquerading as homage. But not here. We have Carlton Mellick III at the helm, and his imagination is far too out of control for that.
Much, in fact most of the content wanders from this beaten path. The author has countless nasty and hilarious tricks up his sleeve, but I’m not going to let on what they are. After all, the back cover blurb had the decency not to spoil anything for me. And to be honest, that is the only remotely “decent” thing about Apeshit.
The original idea was for a screenplay, which would be stunning if there’s anybody out there with the balls to film it uncut. The prose creates an appropriate cinematic feel, being comprised of short sentences and told in the present tense. This can be a risk, but it clearly comes naturally to the author.
But the real strength is the characters. The six teens - your average bunch of horny jocks and pretty cheerleaders at a glance - are so intriguing and damaged that we barely need any murderous slayers lurking in the woods. There’s so many neuroses, deformities and vile festishes bubbling beneath their clean-limbed exteriors that after a while, the mutants aren’t necessarily the main focus. They become just one thread amongst many, and the pace is powered by sharp dialogue as well as action. This author shines when nailing the subtle nuances of human interaction, and there are times when I was surprised by the level of insight and maturity in such a proudly “fucked-up” book.
One element of Apeshit I particularly admired, was that the idea of it being a parody fostered a deceptive sense of security. But there are times when the black humour takes a back seat to the horror, and this played cheeky mind games with my comfort zone. It’s a device I hadn’t yet encountered in the author’s work, and it added a welcome edge to the experience.
Other than a couple of annoying errors (I do wish these books were more thoroughly proof-read) I have no complaints. The elements are combined with the skill of a bestselling author, and at 170 pages of well-spaced text, it doesn’t outstay its welcome. Like any good showman, it leaves you wanting more. While considerably less bizarro than much of Carlton Mellick III’s canon, it soon descends into an outrageous gorefest, constantly surprising you with new highs (or lows!) of twisted imagination. And once you’ve got your breath back, the explanatory epilogue neatly ties up the sick little package.
The back cover declares it is perhaps one of the most fucked-up books ever written. For much of it, I thought “Nah, it’s not that bad”. By the end, I thought “Actually, maybe they’ve got a point…”
Recommended. If you’re a little tweaked in the head, buy it and enjoy. Then give it to your mum for Christmas.
May 23, 2009
"Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q" promises the back cover copy of Carlton Mellick III's Apeshit, and that's exactly what the book delivers; this is the literary equivalent of a Takashi Miike slasher flick, reveling in the conventions of B-movie horror, yet layering on enough gore, gristle, and grotesquerie to make even Kane Hodder squeamish. At the heart of the novel's plot is the requisite group of horny teenagers, heading out to the requisite isolated cabin in the woods for the requisite weekend of partying and debauchery. But this is Bizarro territory, so this cast of teens includes a Mohawked cheerleader covered in full-body butterfly tattoos, an obsessive tooth-brusher with a vagina dentata, and an abortion porn aficionado. Yeah, it's that kind of book. Characterization is a bit uneven*, and many of the protagonists become downright unlikable over the novel's course, but then again, the fact that the aforementioned horny teens are monsters themselves is kind of the point. Apeshit is, at turns, strange, disgusting, surprising, disturbing, and riotously funny.
---
* Particularly with regards to Buddy the Lobster Boy, Apeshit's killer mutant. While Buddy does appear to share some literary DNA with John Gardner's Grendel ("It sees lights in the distance. Lights in a place that is usually dark. There is something bad about these lights. Something evil. It has to make the lights go away. It has to make the evil, all evil, go away."), ultimately, Buddy is underdeveloped and underutilized as a character, making his transition from villain to victim far less satisfying than it might otherwise be.
---
* Particularly with regards to Buddy the Lobster Boy, Apeshit's killer mutant. While Buddy does appear to share some literary DNA with John Gardner's Grendel ("It sees lights in the distance. Lights in a place that is usually dark. There is something bad about these lights. Something evil. It has to make the lights go away. It has to make the evil, all evil, go away."), ultimately, Buddy is underdeveloped and underutilized as a character, making his transition from villain to victim far less satisfying than it might otherwise be.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 253 reviews