”All these particularities of the text present obstacles to reading, and they cause the eye to stumble, I know. They do not, however, affect the comprehension (rarely is a word deformed). And I leave them here most especially because they are signs, persistent signs, that I do not want to omit, of the circumstances of composition.
And of the fact that every vision of the past is a vision of the blind.”
~
The second volume of Roubaud’s Great Fire of London series begins with the elucidation of an image, a “memory-image” that allows the author to establish a precedent for his theory of memory and also to anticipate the entire structure and content of The Loop: a window pane frosted over, the veins of frost composing tiny vegetal patterns (an “inverse flower”), and a child’s fingernail scraping lines in the frost on the pane, eliminating the “inverse flower” in the process of “writing” pictures- using written symbols to create and destroy simultaneously. The frosted window is placed in a bedroom in a house in Carcassonne, and when the image is extended, when one attempts to reach through the memory-image of the inverse flower into the outside world, one finds (somewhat surprisingly) black, absolute dark. We are told there is a frozen garden beyond this blackened window, but the child, and the adult Roubaud recalling the image (and therefore the Reader) are confronted at first only with this picture of nothingness- a fingernail scraping symbols into icy flowers on a canvas of oblivion. What makes the image an even more complete rendering of the processes of remembrance, and especially of remembering when it takes the form of the written word, follows- it is revealed to be a false dark, the windows are painted black. Behind the false dark of the window pane at which a finger scrapes, the world of memory is a frozen garden, which lies hidden until the rememberer begins his pursuit. In the pursuit a world develops, almost like an exposed polaroid: we find the windows are painted black to block the internal lights, as a passive resistance to air raids. We (Roubaud, the child, the Reader) finally find ourselves situated in the rarity of a snowy garden in the south of France, in the early days of the Occupation during World War II.
~
As children, we play games with space and time, manipulating our physical beings in space and time, or manipulating the properties of space and time to the warp of our imaginations. We eliminate ourselves and become an inhuman aspect of the landscape (hide & seek); we command armies or grow to gigantic dimensions to lord over an entire navy of toy boats afloat in a fountain or a pond, lifting the boats and terrified crews at our will like gods, orchestrating complex marine battles in miniature; or we become miniatures ourselves, we shrink ourselves to follow mice into holes or fish down rocky currents or float along with seeds and leaves on a breeze; we become princes or princesses in mythical lands, we are both rulers and creators of these lands; we destroy the limits of space on bicycles; we climb trees and scan the conquerable horizons; we find hidden places in closets, thickets, under tables, secret rooms that are then the secret lairs of our secret selves- our kingdoms of secret- where we fortify ourselves against the unknowable world; we invent languages understood by a chosen few, and these languages necessarily are lost; we possess magical objects that allow us to sleep, to travel, to traverse dimensional restrictions, that protect us and accompany us like guardian angels.
As we grow older, it is space and time that end up playing games with us. We are no longer the masters, unless we keep, often only inside ourselves, a number of these magical objects.
~
It is winter, a fountain is frozen over in the Luxembourg Gardens, the sky is gray and close, like the lid of a coffin.
~
Last night, or a few nights ago (it doesn’t matter), I saw part of a program on television called Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. It was titled “Can We Resurrect the Dead?” (A quick search finds that some other titles in the series are “Can We Eliminate Evil?”, “Will Eternity End?”, “What Makes Us Who We Are?”, “What Is Nothing?”, “Does Time Exist?”) Anyway, in this particular episode a professor had developed a small camera worn around the neck like a necklace, hung about the level of the heart, that he and a number of grad students wore daily, and which snapped around 3,000 diurnal images. An algorithm determined (somehow) significance among these captured moments and whittled them down to about 30 per day, which were then stored in a giant hard drive (“giant” in capability of memory, that is) with the intention of archiving 3,000 moments, reduced to 30 “significant moments” occurring in each day of the participants entire lives. The purpose of this experiment, it was revealed, was to obtain the possibility of eternal life- with each day chronicled in images, and with the mass of these images trimmed down to those determined “significant”, one could reconstruct essentially (so it was proposed), a human being’s personality- their likes, their habits, the way they spent their time, who they knew, what they saw, where they chose to unfold their days. The program went further, and proposed that after death, a robotic body, made to resemble in every way the body of the deceased, could be constructed, given a voice modeled on the voice of the dead, and uploaded with all of these “significant” moments, the robot then being instilled (so it was proposed) with the personality of one who had died. Thus eternal life.
They didn’t confront the issue of perception, of a body moving and feeling in space and time, and how disembodied images are not what makes a human being (or if they confronted this it was while I was checking in on the Nats/Mets game), nor did they confront the fact that this robotic entity could no longer develop new preferences, learn new associations, meet new people with new ideas that propose new future pathways. They were essentially creating a memory-machine, a statue imbued with static data.
I wondered what Roubaud, sitting down each morning and evening, in the either gathering or waning light, and assembling his memories, would make of this episode of Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. Roubaud himself has a term for these external artifacts of our lives, these gathered images and documents that make up our “external memory”. He calls them “pictions”. A piction does not contain memory, it only fundamentally alters it, defaces it by externalizing it, commands its autonomy over memory, asserts its authority over what is remembered (which is in fact a wholly organic thing), and potentially supplants it. An external memory-effector is a fiction, its colors and shapes are essentially rooted to the format, the process, the material properties of the piece- it speaks of what it documents only at a great distance, in vague terms. It is a referent, a companion object, a refraction, nothing more. It is certainly not “personality”.
~
The structure of The Loop is interestingly similar to how the arrow of time is lived internally, in our minds. There is the straight line of the story, but at each insertion the arrow of time flies sideways, up and down, forward and then suddenly back, and then with each bifurcation, which are by definition longer “moments”, disparate points within the line of the story are connected through memory-associations, and one can either move ahead again at the linear, chronological stopping place of the story, or find themselves starting over a section previously read, but with a new perspective, with new associations. The book brilliantly mimics a living, working mind.
~
A fig tree grows up against the walls of a house, its roots have invaded the house, its roots push up through the tiles of the kitchen, cracking them, displacing them. Its weight against the house is felt most severely in strong storms, when Mediterranean gusts abuse it. It creaks and bows against the walls, threatening them with collapse. They don’t collapse, but they threaten to.
~
The Loop, among all the other things that it is (a treatise on memory, a theory of literature, poetry criticism, a language-game, Oulipian textual mischief) is primarily a World War II memoir, a memoir of the Occupation of France, a memoir of childhood. Roubaud’s techniques for recalling these years are similar to the processes of a phenomenologist like Gaston Bachelard (The Loop, at times, very closely resembles and echoes Bachelard’s The Poetics of Space), searching out the storehouses of the past by analyzing in great detail the physical places where the memories were formed and deposited, the “loci of memory”. The years covered are basically the years of the war, with some digressions farther back, explorations into the fore-lives of Roubaud’s ancestors, and some leaps forward to his present life at the time of composition of this book. But the great majority of The Loop is about the experiences of a child in the strange mirror-world of the Occupation, and the deprivations, alterations to daily life, vague murmurings of far off battles, obscure threats of air raids and marching armies, arrests, masses of people on the move, abandoned and ruined landscapes. His parents and his grandparents were active members of the Resistance, hiding not only Jews from deportation but housing Resistance fighters who fled to the relative safety of the south (Carcassonne and environs). As the book goes on, the Reader finds out just how involved his father actually was, and he becomes something of a heroic figure, but his grandparents no less, living in Occupied Lyon, providing shelter and sustenance to those resisting the Nazis. But all of this, seen through a child’s eyes, possesses very little of the gravity of those fully involved in the situations and aware of their consequences. This is a child’s ambiguous view of the era. We follow him to his secret and sacred childhood places- gardens, parks, roads, mountains, fields, squares- the places where he first reached out and perceived the world. The last years of Roubaud’s childhood (and his entry into the weird territory we label “adolescence”) coincided with the Liberation (he was born in 1932, and so was entering into the lycee in Paris, where his family was obliged to move when the war ended). Thus the celebratory months after the Liberation were slightly tainted by the pains and confusion that result from the natural restrictions on our youthful freedom and upsets to our known order that inevitably come with our exit from the Garden, from Paradise.
~
Watching clouds as they move across a mountain and out along the horizon at a steady pace, never the same cloud twice, never a repeated form, as the sky changes behind them, as the color spectrum shifts with the draining or filling of light, as the screen on which they are laid slightly shifts, one is apt to think of the moments of one’s life, as they unfolded on altering backdrops.
~
It is an ancient belief that one of the jobs of our guardian angels is to wipe our memories clean. This is done firstly when we are born, and our guardian angel gives us a smack across the face, eliminating all traces of our former lives. This is considered an act of generosity- if we recalled everything we had experienced in our previous lives, we would never commit to taking that first breath, we would never choose to live again. This first wiping clear of our memories is far from the last, though. It is also the job of our guardian angel to travel along side us throughout our new lives, guiding us, intervening at crucial situations, but also quietly pressing their lips to our ears now and again, blowing softly, their divine breath eliminating all those memories that, without the grace of forgetting, would render us incapable of carrying on.
~
Snow falls on a garden. Clouds move across the sky, always in motion. What is it about these crystalline forms, these forms of accumulated crystals, snow and clouds, that are so much like our memories? Why does the snow, almost silently falling, mounting layer by layer, and the silent clouds, never presented to us in the same arrangements, always in a state of change, provoke in us so much thought, cause us to reminisce?