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All the Way Happy: A Gay Second Chance Enemies to Lovers Romance
Their differences made them enemies.
One summer tied them together forever.
From the moment Jack Gardner first laid eyes on Theodore Beaumont, he hated everything about him. Emanating wealth and icy perfection, Theo was everything Jack was not. Their time together at the elite Gwynns Academy changed them both, but it wasn't until a chance encounter the summer after graduation that the tension between them became palpable—unbearable.
*
Seventeen years later, Jack’s and Theo’s worlds collide as they drop their sons off at Gwynns. Theo wants the kind of authentic life that requires confronting past lies—specifically the steamy summer affair he and Jack kept buried like a secret beneath the floorboards of their marriages.
Jack is…less than convinced.
Existing in the present and simultaneously in their shared past, in the richness of their memories and the way they once clung together, Jack and Theo struggle to reconcile the worlds they have built apart with their longing to be together—and the fear of being hurt all over again.
One summer tied them together forever.
From the moment Jack Gardner first laid eyes on Theodore Beaumont, he hated everything about him. Emanating wealth and icy perfection, Theo was everything Jack was not. Their time together at the elite Gwynns Academy changed them both, but it wasn't until a chance encounter the summer after graduation that the tension between them became palpable—unbearable.
*
Seventeen years later, Jack’s and Theo’s worlds collide as they drop their sons off at Gwynns. Theo wants the kind of authentic life that requires confronting past lies—specifically the steamy summer affair he and Jack kept buried like a secret beneath the floorboards of their marriages.
Jack is…less than convinced.
Existing in the present and simultaneously in their shared past, in the richness of their memories and the way they once clung together, Jack and Theo struggle to reconcile the worlds they have built apart with their longing to be together—and the fear of being hurt all over again.
321 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 27, 2022
35 people are currently reading
2910 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
January 5, 2023
On my blog.
Rep: gay mcs
CWs: self harm & mentions of, drug use, alcohol abuse, child abuse
Galley provided by publisher
All the Way Happy was, in the moment, a book which I very much enjoyed. But in the sense it was a little like a fever dream and, thinking back on it, I find my thoughts on it wavering more and more.
The story is, essentially, repurposed fanfic of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. I, to be perfectly frank, did not realise this until I’d read a good half to two thirds of the book. And for the remainder of it, I did my utmost to forget this fact. In this, your mileage may vary. My mileage is pretty short.
The book flips back and forth between the present day and the past, when these two characters first met and their relationship began. It mostly does this well but there are a few points where the lines between present and past blur to the point where you don’t know which you’re in at any one time. This is, on the whole, not a massive issue, but one I did notice. However, this is also a book that does a second chance romance with flashbacks well. I think that’s in part because it’s not expecting too much to happen in the present. That is, the present day narrative doesn’t cover a long stretch of time, so, when more time is spent in the past to explain the relationship, the present doesn’t feel too rushed.
Really, when I think what I liked about this book, it’s less anything in particular and more that reading it was like some fever dream. I pretty much binged it in a sitting and, while reading, I was enjoying myself. It’s after reading that I started to pick it apart a bit more. While the main characters were, I suppose, quite distinct, the side characters were pretty indistinguishable and the really minor ones I kept losing track of. But they were kind of distinct in the way where someone else has already done most of the character work for you, so you don’t need to.
On top of that, it felt a lot like self-indulgent whump at times. And, sure, to each their own, but you know you don’t have to put all those angst-ridden tropes in at once, right? You can give each one time to breathe and yourself time to deal with them maybe? Especially since it ends up feeling a little shallow in the end, whereas limiting that whump-ness might have led to better characterisation too. Again though, to each their own.
It didn’t help that there was a certain amount of florid, try-hard prose at times. That’s not to say romance novels should try to avoid poetry in their writing. But there’s poetry and skilled depth to writing, and then there’s whatever some of this was. That sounds mean, but yeah.
So really, what I seem to have done here is just talk myself into a lower rating. While I was reading the book it was good. When I finished it? Less so.
Rep: gay mcs
CWs: self harm & mentions of, drug use, alcohol abuse, child abuse
Galley provided by publisher
All the Way Happy was, in the moment, a book which I very much enjoyed. But in the sense it was a little like a fever dream and, thinking back on it, I find my thoughts on it wavering more and more.
The story is, essentially, repurposed fanfic of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. I, to be perfectly frank, did not realise this until I’d read a good half to two thirds of the book. And for the remainder of it, I did my utmost to forget this fact. In this, your mileage may vary. My mileage is pretty short.
The book flips back and forth between the present day and the past, when these two characters first met and their relationship began. It mostly does this well but there are a few points where the lines between present and past blur to the point where you don’t know which you’re in at any one time. This is, on the whole, not a massive issue, but one I did notice. However, this is also a book that does a second chance romance with flashbacks well. I think that’s in part because it’s not expecting too much to happen in the present. That is, the present day narrative doesn’t cover a long stretch of time, so, when more time is spent in the past to explain the relationship, the present doesn’t feel too rushed.
Really, when I think what I liked about this book, it’s less anything in particular and more that reading it was like some fever dream. I pretty much binged it in a sitting and, while reading, I was enjoying myself. It’s after reading that I started to pick it apart a bit more. While the main characters were, I suppose, quite distinct, the side characters were pretty indistinguishable and the really minor ones I kept losing track of. But they were kind of distinct in the way where someone else has already done most of the character work for you, so you don’t need to.
On top of that, it felt a lot like self-indulgent whump at times. And, sure, to each their own, but you know you don’t have to put all those angst-ridden tropes in at once, right? You can give each one time to breathe and yourself time to deal with them maybe? Especially since it ends up feeling a little shallow in the end, whereas limiting that whump-ness might have led to better characterisation too. Again though, to each their own.
It didn’t help that there was a certain amount of florid, try-hard prose at times. That’s not to say romance novels should try to avoid poetry in their writing. But there’s poetry and skilled depth to writing, and then there’s whatever some of this was. That sounds mean, but yeah.
So really, what I seem to have done here is just talk myself into a lower rating. While I was reading the book it was good. When I finished it? Less so.
July 6, 2024
Tbh I can't even put into words how much I loved this book. Top reads of this year. I'm so heartsick in the best way. Wish I could read this again for the first time.
October 24, 2022
As I'm not the first reviewer to notice, this is quite obviously Harry/Draco fanfic with the serial numbers filed off. Jack Gardner (Potter --> Gard[e]ner; hm) is poor, has messy dark hair and bright gr-- er, blue eyes, and comes from a shall we say insalubrious home; Theo I-have-a-French-surname-that-means-Beautiful-Mountain-rather-than-one-that-means-Bad-Faith Beaumont has white-blond hair, behaves very badly, and although rich also has an insalubrious home (his dad's abusive). They glare at each other throughout their time at (nonmagical) boarding school, have a passionate affair afterward, and then marry and have kids (three in Jack's case, one in Theo's). Drarry readers aren't going to be surprised when their sons are assigned to share a room at the same boarding school their dads attended.
Another reviewer on the NetGalley site describes reading this alternately as fanfic and as a romance novel and found that it worked well as the former, not so well as the latter. As for me, once I noticed the fanfictional origin I found it impossible to read All the Way Happy as original fiction -- which is a shame, because the early glimpses of Theo and Jack's time together in Dublin were quite good. I was drawn in and looking forward to one of my favorite tropes, second-chance romance. It'll have to be for someone who doesn't recognize the fanfic pairing to evaluate this as a free-standing novel. I gave it three stars because I do think it's well done; I'm just not sure how much of my enjoyment arose because for me, the characterizations were baked in before I started reading.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
Another reviewer on the NetGalley site describes reading this alternately as fanfic and as a romance novel and found that it worked well as the former, not so well as the latter. As for me, once I noticed the fanfictional origin I found it impossible to read All the Way Happy as original fiction -- which is a shame, because the early glimpses of Theo and Jack's time together in Dublin were quite good. I was drawn in and looking forward to one of my favorite tropes, second-chance romance. It'll have to be for someone who doesn't recognize the fanfic pairing to evaluate this as a free-standing novel. I gave it three stars because I do think it's well done; I'm just not sure how much of my enjoyment arose because for me, the characterizations were baked in before I started reading.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
December 14, 2022
1.5 Stars. This book was painful to read and honestly I feel accomplished by the fact that I managed to get it finished and didn't just give up on it, which is the only reason it's getting 1.5 stars. First of all it is poorly disguised Drarry fan fiction and given the terf-queen's hatred of queer people I feel really icky reading a queer book based on her writings. I absolutely hated how the book was written. The book did a whole lot of telling and very little showing. There were entire chapters without dialogue which made everything seem to just drag on and on and on. The book jumped in time and between POV without clear designations and I found myself having to go back and restart sections because I thought I was in someone else's POV. On top of this the whole tone of the book felt smug. Like the author was going, I'm not telling you something and you won't know what I'm not telling you until I decide you deserve it. There are ways to do the time jump and not give the whole story in a way that keeps readers hooked and intrigued, whereas the way this was written just turned me off.
Now for the characters. Everyone in this book has a name that sounds made up by Stephenie Meyer (derogatory). Half of the names I couldn't tell how they were pronounced by how they were written. I did actually somewhat like Jack as a person. Theo on the other hand was just awful. I get that he's the Draco character but he is a walking talking red flag. The fact that at 14 he was punching walls and by 38 he was throwing Ming vases around tells me that he doesn't need to fall in love. He needs therapy and anger management classes. He has no redeeming qualities other than the fact he loves his son. Every single moment he and Jack are together, Theo is borderline abusive and sometimes full on abusive. It is not a healthy relationship and I do not want them together.
In addition to the above, I had to keep a running list of things that just didn't make sense because they were driving me insane as I was reading:
- There are no references to condoms or STI status despite it being 2002 and just slightly post-AIDS
- Where did Jack get the money for a hotel in Ireland? Isn’t the main thing about him that he’s poor at that point in his life
- There are references to people crowded outside pubs and night clubs in Ireland in 2002 when smoking was not banned from inside these spaces until 2004
- Jack is sleeping on the couch at his house. His kids are at boarding school, why doesn’t he sleep in one of his children’s empty bed’s and if he’s so rich why doesn’t their house have a spare bedroom
- Every single music reference was 80s or early 90s, no matter if it was 2002 or 2022. And not even the most hipster of kids was listening to vinyl in 2002
Just save yourself and read Cat Sebastian's Tommy Cabot Was Here instead because it has a similar plot and feels like a warm hug.
Now for the characters. Everyone in this book has a name that sounds made up by Stephenie Meyer (derogatory). Half of the names I couldn't tell how they were pronounced by how they were written. I did actually somewhat like Jack as a person. Theo on the other hand was just awful. I get that he's the Draco character but he is a walking talking red flag. The fact that at 14 he was punching walls and by 38 he was throwing Ming vases around tells me that he doesn't need to fall in love. He needs therapy and anger management classes. He has no redeeming qualities other than the fact he loves his son. Every single moment he and Jack are together, Theo is borderline abusive and sometimes full on abusive. It is not a healthy relationship and I do not want them together.
In addition to the above, I had to keep a running list of things that just didn't make sense because they were driving me insane as I was reading:
- There are no references to condoms or STI status despite it being 2002 and just slightly post-AIDS
- Where did Jack get the money for a hotel in Ireland? Isn’t the main thing about him that he’s poor at that point in his life
- There are references to people crowded outside pubs and night clubs in Ireland in 2002 when smoking was not banned from inside these spaces until 2004
- Jack is sleeping on the couch at his house. His kids are at boarding school, why doesn’t he sleep in one of his children’s empty bed’s and if he’s so rich why doesn’t their house have a spare bedroom
- Every single music reference was 80s or early 90s, no matter if it was 2002 or 2022. And not even the most hipster of kids was listening to vinyl in 2002
Just save yourself and read Cat Sebastian's Tommy Cabot Was Here instead because it has a similar plot and feels like a warm hug.
November 29, 2022
Thank you Netgalley and Carina Press for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I wanna start by saying how much I absolutely adored this story. I love enemies to lovers and I love second chance romance and the way these two tropes were blended together was just perfection.
I got swept away by the prose, too. Unconventional and a little messy, but absolutely beautiful nonetheless. The dual timeline, telling their past story alongside their present, was such a good narrative choice.
These characters, their pain, their love and hatred and all the in-between was so achingly real and raw and I just felt so much while reading these two idiots sort their messy, complicated lives out.
The problem is, I could read this as the fanfiction it originally was. I could have those characters already in mind which added so much context that I think was lacking from this as a stand alone book.
There were also a lot of inconsistencies, or perhaps just moments lacking clarity, and while I did adore the messiness of the prose, again, I feel it’s better suited to fanfiction and not traditional publishing. Unfortunately I feel like this book needs a VERY heavy edit to really stand out as a piece of original fiction.
Giving anything less than four stars would be lying about how much I adored this mess of a book, but it has some gaping flaws that it feels wrong not to point out.
I wanna start by saying how much I absolutely adored this story. I love enemies to lovers and I love second chance romance and the way these two tropes were blended together was just perfection.
I got swept away by the prose, too. Unconventional and a little messy, but absolutely beautiful nonetheless. The dual timeline, telling their past story alongside their present, was such a good narrative choice.
These characters, their pain, their love and hatred and all the in-between was so achingly real and raw and I just felt so much while reading these two idiots sort their messy, complicated lives out.
The problem is, I could read this as the fanfiction it originally was. I could have those characters already in mind which added so much context that I think was lacking from this as a stand alone book.
There were also a lot of inconsistencies, or perhaps just moments lacking clarity, and while I did adore the messiness of the prose, again, I feel it’s better suited to fanfiction and not traditional publishing. Unfortunately I feel like this book needs a VERY heavy edit to really stand out as a piece of original fiction.
Giving anything less than four stars would be lying about how much I adored this mess of a book, but it has some gaping flaws that it feels wrong not to point out.
January 7, 2023
I see from other reviews that people were turned off by the thinly veiled Draco/Harry fanfiction aspect of this and I don't see why. The similarities were there but I enjoyed the story more for it.
Theo was a bully and horrible to Jack the entire time they were at boarding school. Jack was poor, attention starved, and desperate for a better life for himself. After a nearly perfect summer together after graduation, they don't see each other for 20 years when their sons are roommates at the same school.
I wish desperately that this book would have had date indicators on the chapters because we moved from 20 years ago to today, to week ago, to years ago with only context clues to guide the way. I had a hard time with a few chapters to see whether we were in the present or in the middle of a flashback. I did appreciate how they both ended up making choices that felt the most genuine to themselves as adults.
Thank you to Netgalley and Carina Press for a copy in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own.
Theo was a bully and horrible to Jack the entire time they were at boarding school. Jack was poor, attention starved, and desperate for a better life for himself. After a nearly perfect summer together after graduation, they don't see each other for 20 years when their sons are roommates at the same school.
I wish desperately that this book would have had date indicators on the chapters because we moved from 20 years ago to today, to week ago, to years ago with only context clues to guide the way. I had a hard time with a few chapters to see whether we were in the present or in the middle of a flashback. I did appreciate how they both ended up making choices that felt the most genuine to themselves as adults.
Thank you to Netgalley and Carina Press for a copy in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own.
March 7, 2023
3.5 STARS
While I absolutely loved the overall plot and premise, I was surprised by the hyper-sexualization of both main characters. It is still not clear to me why they are so in love with each other given we don’t get too many scenes of them just talking and going on dates. I also was disappointed to see a narcissist as one of the love interests. It is very clear Theo has a narcissistic personality given his necessity to control others, his outbursts of anger at random, and his inability to connect with others. It was unfortunate to see the author romanticize that given how toxic this personality style is. However, that said I did enjoy the overall plot and idea of embracing your authentic self later in life.
While I absolutely loved the overall plot and premise, I was surprised by the hyper-sexualization of both main characters. It is still not clear to me why they are so in love with each other given we don’t get too many scenes of them just talking and going on dates. I also was disappointed to see a narcissist as one of the love interests. It is very clear Theo has a narcissistic personality given his necessity to control others, his outbursts of anger at random, and his inability to connect with others. It was unfortunate to see the author romanticize that given how toxic this personality style is. However, that said I did enjoy the overall plot and idea of embracing your authentic self later in life.
February 4, 2023
I've given this a C+ at AAR, 3.5 stars
Kit Coltrane’s All the Way Happy is an enemies-to-lovers story that spans twenty years. I liked the premise – two men who are meant to be together but whose paths diverged for various reasons finding each other again – but I came away from it thinking that what I’d read wasn’t really a romance, despite the eventual HEA.
The story begins when the two protagonists, Theo Beaumont and Jack Gardner, meet on their first day at Gwynns Academy, the prestigious Baltimore school they’re both attending, and take an instant dislike to each other. Theo comes from money and has been brought up to believe he’s better than everyone else and entitled to whatever he wants; Jack has a scholarship place and is, of course, someone Theo feels bound to look down on. When Jack makes it clear that he doesn’t give a shit who Theo is or where he comes from, Theo is furious – but afraid as well. It’s the first time he’s ever been spoken to like that, and the first time someone has seen past the polished veneer of money and expensive clothes.
Nineteen years later, Jack and Theo, now fathers themselves, meet again when they take their sons to Gwynns and help them get settled in, unprepared for the discovery that Jasper (Beaumont) and Will (Gardner) are to be roommates. They don’t do much other than acknowledge each other’s presence and that’s that – or not, because seeing each other again brings back a shedload of memories and feelings both of them have worked hard to forget. But a few weeks later, Jack sends Theo a rambly text asking if they can meet for coffee – because their sons are roommates – to exchange emergency details and be prepared for possibly awkward social situations in the future. Theo doesn’t reply – can’t reply – not straight away, but he can’t forget it either. Eventually he sends a terse, two word response agreeing to meet.
The story unfolds in alternating PoVs and three timelines (at school, four years later and present day). Each chapter contains a section of the current day story and a flashback to past events – the structure works well and I liked it, although I realise that flashbacks aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. The only issue I’ll point out as potentially problematic is that in the copy I read – which was an ARC – the jumps between the two timelines are only marked by section breaks; there are no timestamps or obvious differences in font (such as italics) and because not every chapter follows the same format (it’s not always ‘present’ followed by ‘past’), when I began a new chapter, sometimes it wasn’t immediately obvious which timeline I was in.
I liked quite a few things about the story – although as I said at the beginning, it’s not especially successful as a romance. It goes to some dark places – both Theo and Jack were physically abused by a parent – and Theo, in particular, is a mess who seems to be screaming silently the whole time. The author’s prose style is often lyrical and quite beautiful, and she writes angsty heartbreak really well. I liked Jack and Theo’s relationships with their children (Jack has three, Theo, one) and their exes and I enjoyed the pivotal section that fleshes out the hints as to what happened between Theo and Jack after school when they find each other in Ireland and have a passionate but short-lived affair. But I had to adjust my expectations as to the romance, because while there’s an HEA and the focus is on the two leads and their relationship, we never actually see them fall in love. It’s clear early on that their mutual dislike is born of an uneasy and unacknowledgable attraction, but there’s no real progression from that initial ‘I hate you but I fancy you’ to the love we’re asked to believe they feel by the time their affair ends. I felt as though I was expected to take their feelings for each other on trust. And their second chance romance is very poorly done. The thing I enjoy most about the trope is watching the protagonists fall in love all over again, but with the people they are now rather than echoes of who they were – but that doesn’t happen here. Jack and Theo spend hardly any time together in the present day sections of the story, there’s no real romance and there’s no indication as to how these men in their late thirties with divorces behind them, kids, and messy lives are going to make room for each other, how they’re going to adapt and grow together. The characters are not well fleshed-out so it’s hard for readers to become invested in what happens to them, and the little emotional conflict in the story is mainly due to Jack and Theo arguing with themselves about whether they want to be together.
As a side note: I’ve seen a number of reviews saying that this story has its origins in Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy fanfiction; Jack is poor, and has black hair and piercing green blue eyes, while Theo is posh, has platinum blond hair and a cruel, aristocratic mien. Never having read any HP fanfic, it’s unlikely I’d have spotted those similarities had I not had them pointed out to me – but it does make sense when I think about the lack of characterisation, conflict and relationship development, because if you’re writing fanfic, you’re writing about established characters readers are familiar with, whose relationships – or their foundations anyway – are already well understood.
All the Way Happy got off to a promising start and I did enjoy reading it, but the romance is lacklustre and needed more careful development. I liked the author’s style and would certainly read another book by her, but preferably something less derivative where she can develop her characters and their relationship more fully.
Kit Coltrane’s All the Way Happy is an enemies-to-lovers story that spans twenty years. I liked the premise – two men who are meant to be together but whose paths diverged for various reasons finding each other again – but I came away from it thinking that what I’d read wasn’t really a romance, despite the eventual HEA.
The story begins when the two protagonists, Theo Beaumont and Jack Gardner, meet on their first day at Gwynns Academy, the prestigious Baltimore school they’re both attending, and take an instant dislike to each other. Theo comes from money and has been brought up to believe he’s better than everyone else and entitled to whatever he wants; Jack has a scholarship place and is, of course, someone Theo feels bound to look down on. When Jack makes it clear that he doesn’t give a shit who Theo is or where he comes from, Theo is furious – but afraid as well. It’s the first time he’s ever been spoken to like that, and the first time someone has seen past the polished veneer of money and expensive clothes.
Nineteen years later, Jack and Theo, now fathers themselves, meet again when they take their sons to Gwynns and help them get settled in, unprepared for the discovery that Jasper (Beaumont) and Will (Gardner) are to be roommates. They don’t do much other than acknowledge each other’s presence and that’s that – or not, because seeing each other again brings back a shedload of memories and feelings both of them have worked hard to forget. But a few weeks later, Jack sends Theo a rambly text asking if they can meet for coffee – because their sons are roommates – to exchange emergency details and be prepared for possibly awkward social situations in the future. Theo doesn’t reply – can’t reply – not straight away, but he can’t forget it either. Eventually he sends a terse, two word response agreeing to meet.
The story unfolds in alternating PoVs and three timelines (at school, four years later and present day). Each chapter contains a section of the current day story and a flashback to past events – the structure works well and I liked it, although I realise that flashbacks aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. The only issue I’ll point out as potentially problematic is that in the copy I read – which was an ARC – the jumps between the two timelines are only marked by section breaks; there are no timestamps or obvious differences in font (such as italics) and because not every chapter follows the same format (it’s not always ‘present’ followed by ‘past’), when I began a new chapter, sometimes it wasn’t immediately obvious which timeline I was in.
I liked quite a few things about the story – although as I said at the beginning, it’s not especially successful as a romance. It goes to some dark places – both Theo and Jack were physically abused by a parent – and Theo, in particular, is a mess who seems to be screaming silently the whole time. The author’s prose style is often lyrical and quite beautiful, and she writes angsty heartbreak really well. I liked Jack and Theo’s relationships with their children (Jack has three, Theo, one) and their exes and I enjoyed the pivotal section that fleshes out the hints as to what happened between Theo and Jack after school when they find each other in Ireland and have a passionate but short-lived affair. But I had to adjust my expectations as to the romance, because while there’s an HEA and the focus is on the two leads and their relationship, we never actually see them fall in love. It’s clear early on that their mutual dislike is born of an uneasy and unacknowledgable attraction, but there’s no real progression from that initial ‘I hate you but I fancy you’ to the love we’re asked to believe they feel by the time their affair ends. I felt as though I was expected to take their feelings for each other on trust. And their second chance romance is very poorly done. The thing I enjoy most about the trope is watching the protagonists fall in love all over again, but with the people they are now rather than echoes of who they were – but that doesn’t happen here. Jack and Theo spend hardly any time together in the present day sections of the story, there’s no real romance and there’s no indication as to how these men in their late thirties with divorces behind them, kids, and messy lives are going to make room for each other, how they’re going to adapt and grow together. The characters are not well fleshed-out so it’s hard for readers to become invested in what happens to them, and the little emotional conflict in the story is mainly due to Jack and Theo arguing with themselves about whether they want to be together.
As a side note: I’ve seen a number of reviews saying that this story has its origins in Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy fanfiction; Jack is poor, and has black hair and piercing green blue eyes, while Theo is posh, has platinum blond hair and a cruel, aristocratic mien. Never having read any HP fanfic, it’s unlikely I’d have spotted those similarities had I not had them pointed out to me – but it does make sense when I think about the lack of characterisation, conflict and relationship development, because if you’re writing fanfic, you’re writing about established characters readers are familiar with, whose relationships – or their foundations anyway – are already well understood.
All the Way Happy got off to a promising start and I did enjoy reading it, but the romance is lacklustre and needed more careful development. I liked the author’s style and would certainly read another book by her, but preferably something less derivative where she can develop her characters and their relationship more fully.
March 5, 2023
Prior to starting this book, I assumed this was your run of the mill queer romance from the "Carina Adores" imprint - and while it is, this is definitely one of the more heavier of their offerings (even with their HEA guarantee). As I read through the book, I recognized that it had similariies of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy from the characters (to an extent) and then of course, coming on here and finding out that this is repurposed Drarry fan-fiction, this book made a lot more sense, in particular with its narrative choices and porse.
Jack Gardner (our Harry stand in) and Theodore Beaumont (our Draco stand in) first meet when they are freshmen at Gwynns Academey (non magical Hogwarts) [and yes, I have to point out that there meeting is very similar to how the two meet in Sorceror's Stone - though not the exact same] and the lack of dates and context until you're in the recollection or scene keeps occuring throughout the remainder of the book - there are moments where both characters will be in the present, and then a past scene will pop up and you are transported to a time in their past - and even these recollections are not linear, as they fluctuate between their time at the school and the summer after graduation that they spent in Ireland.
I will say that the book being Harry Potter fan fic isn't what initially threw me - but it is the reliance on the original source material to make this story that much more impactful that gets me. If you take Malfoy from the sixth book with how he his personality wise, and Harry from books 5-7 to put their high high school selves as, and then amplify that regret and angst to where they are during the Cursed Child era into this book, you get these two characters. While there are differences to make Jack and Theo distinct from Harry and Draco, you can't unsee it when the connection is made - and indeed, a lot of the animosity and behavior traits that they two have towards each other and their friends (there are stand ins from the series, with Theo having Tom, Ginni and Philippe who are Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, with Jack having his group that includes a mashup character of Ron and the Weasleys - with a hint of hermoine, a Neville, and a Seamus and Dean that are paired together).
It's not a bad book - the angst is TAKING IT, and as someone that likes those high angst reads, that part worked and saved the book for me. However, it was the over-reliance on the Harry Potter fan fic origin and the disjointed narrative style that kept me detached from the story and distracted. Also, while I understand that the authors intent (with the epilogue) to state that their upbringing had incluenced how they were with each other and their avoidance for 19 years, when Jack and Theo interacted in the present, I didn't see much change from their younger selves and that moment of character development that I think Kit was attempting to get us as the reader to see.
That being said, I do hope Kit publishes other works - I would be interested in reading what they write next.
Jack Gardner (our Harry stand in) and Theodore Beaumont (our Draco stand in) first meet when they are freshmen at Gwynns Academey (non magical Hogwarts) [and yes, I have to point out that there meeting is very similar to how the two meet in Sorceror's Stone - though not the exact same] and the lack of dates and context until you're in the recollection or scene keeps occuring throughout the remainder of the book - there are moments where both characters will be in the present, and then a past scene will pop up and you are transported to a time in their past - and even these recollections are not linear, as they fluctuate between their time at the school and the summer after graduation that they spent in Ireland.
I will say that the book being Harry Potter fan fic isn't what initially threw me - but it is the reliance on the original source material to make this story that much more impactful that gets me. If you take Malfoy from the sixth book with how he his personality wise, and Harry from books 5-7 to put their high high school selves as, and then amplify that regret and angst to where they are during the Cursed Child era into this book, you get these two characters. While there are differences to make Jack and Theo distinct from Harry and Draco, you can't unsee it when the connection is made - and indeed, a lot of the animosity and behavior traits that they two have towards each other and their friends (there are stand ins from the series, with Theo having Tom, Ginni and Philippe who are Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, with Jack having his group that includes a mashup character of Ron and the Weasleys - with a hint of hermoine, a Neville, and a Seamus and Dean that are paired together).
It's not a bad book - the angst is TAKING IT, and as someone that likes those high angst reads, that part worked and saved the book for me. However, it was the over-reliance on the Harry Potter fan fic origin and the disjointed narrative style that kept me detached from the story and distracted. Also, while I understand that the authors intent (with the epilogue) to state that their upbringing had incluenced how they were with each other and their avoidance for 19 years, when Jack and Theo interacted in the present, I didn't see much change from their younger selves and that moment of character development that I think Kit was attempting to get us as the reader to see.
That being said, I do hope Kit publishes other works - I would be interested in reading what they write next.
Read
July 24, 2023Overall, I try not to leave negative reviews on books because there's nothing objective about perceptions of fiction, but this book. This book, with its /constant/ misuse of "which" instead of "that," the way the narrative style didn't change with POV shifts, and what I'll discuss below, just wasn't a book for me right now. Maybe I would have appreciated it earlier in life or maybe I'll appreciate it later. But when the overall message that I got from the book is antithetical to how I am trying to live without shame, it's not the book for me at the moment.
First of all, I had no idea that this was basically Harry/Draco fanfic when I read it (not highly aware of HP tbh), so I went in blank slate thinking that I'd get enemies to lovers with a happily ever after. I feel like I got enemies to...less? enemies? Without that HP context, all the hatred between the two main characters felt like heavy amounts of internalized homophobia, which is fine to explore (and I'd be down for that), but I don't feel like that's what happened.
All that said, I still finished the book. It was fine overall, and parts were fantastic. The emotions on the page were so visceral, and I always appreciate that. Some of the sex scenes were steamy, and some broke my heart (and some were absolutely NOT a sex-ed guide; lube is your friend, kids). I cared about these characters despite the annoying grammar issues that distracted me from the narrative. It was so close so often to being an excellent novel, a good exploration how different kinds of trauma can manifest and can be resolved, how homophobia (internal and external) taints our lives, and what we owe other people; but it ended up being no. I think this story has good bones and just needed a few more pages and a better copy editor.
I just wouldn't read it again.
SPOILERS FOR ENDING BELOW
They get together, and we're supposed to believe that it will be largely hunky dory like most HEA/HFNs. But the epilogue takes us through what their lives would have been like but for the internalized homophobia/hate at first sight/enemies for 20 years. They would have been different people. Rich boy Theo never would have learned the value of work and kindness, and Poor boy Jack never would have crawled out of his own childhood trauma to become a somewhat self-actualized adult. (As an aside, repeatedly referring to Jack as "selfish" without really diving into how trauma can make people /appear/ selfish when they justifiably prioritize themselves, even in a trauma response way, wasn't the vibe for me.) To me, absent awareness of the Harry/Draco thing that a lot of people picked up on, it just felt like the internalized homophobia was painted over by a happy ending in which all that self-hatred, all that fighting, all those miserable years pretending to be straight would have been worth it because they like who they are now? I guess? And I could understand this ending, I really could. I could explain it all when looking through the characters' viewpoints, especially with regards to their children and an appreciation of growing as people, but what's left me unsatisfied is that there was not a lot of discussion (at least not that I saw) about that growth (And also their sons are in a relationship too? That's a smidge too weird for me tbh.). I was just supposed to accept that their relationship with the unresolved trauma on both sides is a-ok, and if they spent 37 years tearing themselves and each other apart until they couldn't ignore their gayness anymore, so be it. Theo throwing things and breaking his house is ok, and Jack repressing his feelings to the nth degree is ok. It all washes out in the end because they get to bone each other now, and self-hatred is a fine path to take. Overall, it felt like the story was trying to make this dysfunctional relationship seem healthy when it so clearly wasn't. Jack shouldn't have a better relationship with his ex-wife than the ~love of his life~. Characters don't have to be likeable for me to enjoy the book, but they have to make sense. The complete obliviousness of the tone to these men's issues individually and together may have a meta point, I admit, but I'm not sure that such a point could be supported by the text so much as my wish fulfillment.
And maybe a few more pages about how Theo and Jack actually work together would have been a better epilogue than what we got. But all I got out of the epilogue is that self-hatred works out in the end. But hating yourself is never worth it.
I left the book feeling sad for Theo and Jack.
That's not exactly a happy ending for me. Maybe it is for other people, and maybe this is just not a book for me. Which is fine! Not all books can be for all people.
First of all, I had no idea that this was basically Harry/Draco fanfic when I read it (not highly aware of HP tbh), so I went in blank slate thinking that I'd get enemies to lovers with a happily ever after. I feel like I got enemies to...less? enemies? Without that HP context, all the hatred between the two main characters felt like heavy amounts of internalized homophobia, which is fine to explore (and I'd be down for that), but I don't feel like that's what happened.
All that said, I still finished the book. It was fine overall, and parts were fantastic. The emotions on the page were so visceral, and I always appreciate that. Some of the sex scenes were steamy, and some broke my heart (and some were absolutely NOT a sex-ed guide; lube is your friend, kids). I cared about these characters despite the annoying grammar issues that distracted me from the narrative. It was so close so often to being an excellent novel, a good exploration how different kinds of trauma can manifest and can be resolved, how homophobia (internal and external) taints our lives, and what we owe other people; but it ended up being no. I think this story has good bones and just needed a few more pages and a better copy editor.
I just wouldn't read it again.
SPOILERS FOR ENDING BELOW
They get together, and we're supposed to believe that it will be largely hunky dory like most HEA/HFNs. But the epilogue takes us through what their lives would have been like but for the internalized homophobia/hate at first sight/enemies for 20 years. They would have been different people. Rich boy Theo never would have learned the value of work and kindness, and Poor boy Jack never would have crawled out of his own childhood trauma to become a somewhat self-actualized adult. (As an aside, repeatedly referring to Jack as "selfish" without really diving into how trauma can make people /appear/ selfish when they justifiably prioritize themselves, even in a trauma response way, wasn't the vibe for me.) To me, absent awareness of the Harry/Draco thing that a lot of people picked up on, it just felt like the internalized homophobia was painted over by a happy ending in which all that self-hatred, all that fighting, all those miserable years pretending to be straight would have been worth it because they like who they are now? I guess? And I could understand this ending, I really could. I could explain it all when looking through the characters' viewpoints, especially with regards to their children and an appreciation of growing as people, but what's left me unsatisfied is that there was not a lot of discussion (at least not that I saw) about that growth (And also their sons are in a relationship too? That's a smidge too weird for me tbh.). I was just supposed to accept that their relationship with the unresolved trauma on both sides is a-ok, and if they spent 37 years tearing themselves and each other apart until they couldn't ignore their gayness anymore, so be it. Theo throwing things and breaking his house is ok, and Jack repressing his feelings to the nth degree is ok. It all washes out in the end because they get to bone each other now, and self-hatred is a fine path to take. Overall, it felt like the story was trying to make this dysfunctional relationship seem healthy when it so clearly wasn't. Jack shouldn't have a better relationship with his ex-wife than the ~love of his life~. Characters don't have to be likeable for me to enjoy the book, but they have to make sense. The complete obliviousness of the tone to these men's issues individually and together may have a meta point, I admit, but I'm not sure that such a point could be supported by the text so much as my wish fulfillment.
And maybe a few more pages about how Theo and Jack actually work together would have been a better epilogue than what we got. But all I got out of the epilogue is that self-hatred works out in the end. But hating yourself is never worth it.
I left the book feeling sad for Theo and Jack.
That's not exactly a happy ending for me. Maybe it is for other people, and maybe this is just not a book for me. Which is fine! Not all books can be for all people.
January 8, 2023
Review to come once the HarperCollins strike ends.
Update 1/8/2023 - Per the HarperCollins Union twitter reviews for books under the Harlequin umbrella do not cross the picket line so here is my review:
4 stars
This may be very obviously Harry Potter fanfic but I did not even care. It had everything I love about the dynamic - angst, true enemies to lovers, second chance romance, obsessiveness.
The structure of the book got a bit tangled - it switched between their time at boarding school, present day, and their time in Cork - and it never really made sense why it was switching when it did. I enjoyed all three time periods but i wanted to re-order it sequentially. The back stories also made the second chance/present day storyline suffer. You could feel their build up in the Cork story but the present day completely lacked the build up from re-uniting to getting back together and building a new life. It was 20 years later! I needed way more from it.
The epilogue also made zero sense since it wasn't an epilogue but a "what if" scenario? The actual epilogue was the chapter prior and it should have ended there I think.
All this being said, it absolutely had the feels and angst and dramatique of a harry/draco fic and I was here for it. Definitely worth a read if you enjoy that dynamic but if your experience is anything like mine you will spend a lot of time looking for the parallels like a spot the difference puzzle. If you can get past that you will vibe along and have a great time.
I received an ARC copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Update 1/8/2023 - Per the HarperCollins Union twitter reviews for books under the Harlequin umbrella do not cross the picket line so here is my review:
4 stars
This may be very obviously Harry Potter fanfic but I did not even care. It had everything I love about the dynamic - angst, true enemies to lovers, second chance romance, obsessiveness.
The structure of the book got a bit tangled - it switched between their time at boarding school, present day, and their time in Cork - and it never really made sense why it was switching when it did. I enjoyed all three time periods but i wanted to re-order it sequentially. The back stories also made the second chance/present day storyline suffer. You could feel their build up in the Cork story but the present day completely lacked the build up from re-uniting to getting back together and building a new life. It was 20 years later! I needed way more from it.
The epilogue also made zero sense since it wasn't an epilogue but a "what if" scenario? The actual epilogue was the chapter prior and it should have ended there I think.
All this being said, it absolutely had the feels and angst and dramatique of a harry/draco fic and I was here for it. Definitely worth a read if you enjoy that dynamic but if your experience is anything like mine you will spend a lot of time looking for the parallels like a spot the difference puzzle. If you can get past that you will vibe along and have a great time.
I received an ARC copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
October 23, 2022
I received an e-ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
OK wow I have MANY more thoughts than I had expected after reading this. First -- I had fun reading it! Second -- this is absolutely lightly reworked fanfiction. Third -- your mileage will vary, based on whether you are expecting to read a romance novel or a fanfic, because (despite their similarities) I firmly believe they are disparate genres.
So to start with my first point -- I absolutely had a fun time reading this! It was much angstier than I prefer my romance or fanfic to be, but that was a nice departure from my usual inclinations. I finished it in less than 2 days, & it distracted me from the problems of my life.
To address point #2 -- I don't think there's any way you could argue that this is NOT a reworked fanfiction; it is very clearly Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy enemies-to-lovers, second-chance-romance whump. It just is!! And that's not inherently a bad thing! And tbh I do think it would be a disservice to the text to not recognize that, because it's well-written and very effective within the bounds of that genre!
However (on to point #3), when I requested this via NetGalley, I did not know it was a reworked fanfic, I thought it was an interesting-sounding romance novel. And you might be thinking, Teddy, aren't romance & fanfic just the same thing? Au contraire! they are not! (Again, a thing that is absolutely okay! Romance & fanfic shouldn't need to be the same thing, because they fit different literary niches and use different conventions and craft! Neither is worse or better for that, they are just different!) And if I am a reader expecting to read a romance novel, I would probably be VERY disappointed with this book.
An effective romance novel needs to create characters with deep emotional lives, because showing the reader that emotional attraction and turmoil (and then using that emotional energy to build tension) is what makes us invested in the story and whether or not (and how) our protagonists will end up together.
However, fanfic doesn't do that, it relies on the reader's emotional connection to extant character(s) and their awareness of how characters are situated within an extant body of work(s) -- whether that's how they're situated within canon, or how fandom and fanworks portray them. Fanfiction can employ facets of the romance genre, but ultimately it relies on the deeper knowledge of the reader to get those emotional punches across.
And to bring that back to this book -- I think it's a really good fanfiction, but not that great a romance novel. Once I realized it was a repurposed fic, I tried to view my reading experience from a romance perspective and a fanfic perspective -- because I don't think I could judge my experience properly or write a good review if I didn't.
From the romance perspective, it does not create deep & dynamic emotional conflicts between the protagonists in a successful way. If I were reading this with no fanfic experience, I would be struggling to see why I should care about the main characters' romance, since there is very little emotional conflict (or even interaction!) between them in the main (present-day) timeline. From the fanfic perspective, it very much relies on your understanding the dynamic of Drarry fics and fandom's thoughts & expectations about this pairing in order to tug at your heart. It's not a believable story or conflict unless you have that fandom background.
I say all of this with love, because trust me, I wouldn't read an entire book if I weren't enjoying myself. But as someone whose main book-reading genres are romance & nonfiction (pls drag me) and who has been reading fanfic for over a decade, I don't want future romance readers to go into something they won't like. And I do want other readers (fanfic readers!) to be able to find something that they will heartily enjoy, which might even get their foot in the door of discovering how great the romance genre is!
Anyways, that was extremely long-winded, but I just had SO many thoughts while reading this. If I were rating as a romance novel, I'd rate 2.5 stars. But if I were rating as a fanfic, I'd rate 3.5 stars. And I absolutely had a fun time reading this. So all in all, 3 stars. Def worth giving a go if you're in either the fanfic camp & want to have a fun time, and def worth giving a go if you're in the romance camp but have a bit of HP fandom background.
OK wow I have MANY more thoughts than I had expected after reading this. First -- I had fun reading it! Second -- this is absolutely lightly reworked fanfiction. Third -- your mileage will vary, based on whether you are expecting to read a romance novel or a fanfic, because (despite their similarities) I firmly believe they are disparate genres.
So to start with my first point -- I absolutely had a fun time reading this! It was much angstier than I prefer my romance or fanfic to be, but that was a nice departure from my usual inclinations. I finished it in less than 2 days, & it distracted me from the problems of my life.
To address point #2 -- I don't think there's any way you could argue that this is NOT a reworked fanfiction; it is very clearly Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy enemies-to-lovers, second-chance-romance whump. It just is!! And that's not inherently a bad thing! And tbh I do think it would be a disservice to the text to not recognize that, because it's well-written and very effective within the bounds of that genre!
However (on to point #3), when I requested this via NetGalley, I did not know it was a reworked fanfic, I thought it was an interesting-sounding romance novel. And you might be thinking, Teddy, aren't romance & fanfic just the same thing? Au contraire! they are not! (Again, a thing that is absolutely okay! Romance & fanfic shouldn't need to be the same thing, because they fit different literary niches and use different conventions and craft! Neither is worse or better for that, they are just different!) And if I am a reader expecting to read a romance novel, I would probably be VERY disappointed with this book.
An effective romance novel needs to create characters with deep emotional lives, because showing the reader that emotional attraction and turmoil (and then using that emotional energy to build tension) is what makes us invested in the story and whether or not (and how) our protagonists will end up together.
However, fanfic doesn't do that, it relies on the reader's emotional connection to extant character(s) and their awareness of how characters are situated within an extant body of work(s) -- whether that's how they're situated within canon, or how fandom and fanworks portray them. Fanfiction can employ facets of the romance genre, but ultimately it relies on the deeper knowledge of the reader to get those emotional punches across.
And to bring that back to this book -- I think it's a really good fanfiction, but not that great a romance novel. Once I realized it was a repurposed fic, I tried to view my reading experience from a romance perspective and a fanfic perspective -- because I don't think I could judge my experience properly or write a good review if I didn't.
From the romance perspective, it does not create deep & dynamic emotional conflicts between the protagonists in a successful way. If I were reading this with no fanfic experience, I would be struggling to see why I should care about the main characters' romance, since there is very little emotional conflict (or even interaction!) between them in the main (present-day) timeline. From the fanfic perspective, it very much relies on your understanding the dynamic of Drarry fics and fandom's thoughts & expectations about this pairing in order to tug at your heart. It's not a believable story or conflict unless you have that fandom background.
I say all of this with love, because trust me, I wouldn't read an entire book if I weren't enjoying myself. But as someone whose main book-reading genres are romance & nonfiction (pls drag me) and who has been reading fanfic for over a decade, I don't want future romance readers to go into something they won't like. And I do want other readers (fanfic readers!) to be able to find something that they will heartily enjoy, which might even get their foot in the door of discovering how great the romance genre is!
Anyways, that was extremely long-winded, but I just had SO many thoughts while reading this. If I were rating as a romance novel, I'd rate 2.5 stars. But if I were rating as a fanfic, I'd rate 3.5 stars. And I absolutely had a fun time reading this. So all in all, 3 stars. Def worth giving a go if you're in either the fanfic camp & want to have a fun time, and def worth giving a go if you're in the romance camp but have a bit of HP fandom background.
January 9, 2023
Not sure how to begin, the story feels like a fanfic from the beginning, which is not a bad thing; but the plot fails to evolve. Both main characters are insufferable and they have the exact same personality, except one is meaner. The narrative switches from one to another but it’s hard to remember who’s perspective you are reading from. The time jumps make everything more confusing, specially because you are suddenly reading the present day and the character goes on for pages remembering something that had already been told in one of the parts that take part in the past.
The format of keeping sentences unfinished to create mystery is used in almost every page, which made me annoyed with the characters. The spice is nice, but ended up feeling like that was the reward after keeping everything so mysterious but there was really no mystery.
The format of keeping sentences unfinished to create mystery is used in almost every page, which made me annoyed with the characters. The spice is nice, but ended up feeling like that was the reward after keeping everything so mysterious but there was really no mystery.
November 11, 2022
This book started off strong for me. I thought it was well-written, and the characters and plot seemed intriguing. Quickly, though, my enjoyment began to fade. There was a lot of back and forth through different time periods, in a way that made it really hard to follow what time period and setting you were reading about. I ended up almost unable to distinguish the characters, who didn't feel fleshed out enough. I did still think the writing style was good, but the story was so hard to make sense of otherwise that I didn't end up enjoying this.
January 19, 2023
Trigger Warnings: Alcohol, vomit, thoughts of suicide, cheating, divorce, classism/elitism, parental abandonment, violence, masturbation, underage drinking, sex, child abuse, drugs, death of a parent, prison, su*c*de, blood, injury
Representation: Gay
All the Way Happy is a gay contemporary romance that time jumps to show the relationship arc of Jack and Theo. While the two boys met at boarding school many years ago, their paths cross time and time again to lead to their ultimate destiny.
This finished copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I’m not sure about this book. I’ve given it several attempts but I just can’t get into it. The time jumps are also very confusing. I did finish the book but it was more to avoid dnf-ing it, rather than from enjoyment. While reading other reviews about the story, I guess there is a similar premise to a certain MLM fanfic from a certain terf but I’m not sure I see it. Whether that’s true or not, readers should be aware so they can make the decision to read this on their own.
Now about the book itself: this book has an interesting style. The writing is in prose and contains multiple time jumps. The characters are flawed and pain, making them incredibly relatable. In general, I think this book could use a few more rounds of edits. The epilogue is also very interesting, since it’s more of a “what if” scenario rather than an epilogue. Overall, this book wasn’t for me.
Representation: Gay
All the Way Happy is a gay contemporary romance that time jumps to show the relationship arc of Jack and Theo. While the two boys met at boarding school many years ago, their paths cross time and time again to lead to their ultimate destiny.
This finished copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I’m not sure about this book. I’ve given it several attempts but I just can’t get into it. The time jumps are also very confusing. I did finish the book but it was more to avoid dnf-ing it, rather than from enjoyment. While reading other reviews about the story, I guess there is a similar premise to a certain MLM fanfic from a certain terf but I’m not sure I see it. Whether that’s true or not, readers should be aware so they can make the decision to read this on their own.
Now about the book itself: this book has an interesting style. The writing is in prose and contains multiple time jumps. The characters are flawed and pain, making them incredibly relatable. In general, I think this book could use a few more rounds of edits. The epilogue is also very interesting, since it’s more of a “what if” scenario rather than an epilogue. Overall, this book wasn’t for me.
January 24, 2023
A fun read about mid-life revelations and the mistakes made along the way. Why so many people who went to high school together all ended up together, I remain confused by, but the narrative was strong enough to let me accept it in this instance.
My only true critique is that Coltrane uses a lot of . . . to take the place of further thought development and character analysis, essentially asking the reader to use their own imagination to fill in what could have been a more challenging sentence to put to paper by the author.
All of that to say, a cute book with an interesting structure. Three stars.
My only true critique is that Coltrane uses a lot of . . . to take the place of further thought development and character analysis, essentially asking the reader to use their own imagination to fill in what could have been a more challenging sentence to put to paper by the author.
All of that to say, a cute book with an interesting structure. Three stars.
December 24, 2024
this is one of those books I chose at random to read and will continue to think about for the next 7 months nonstop
the dual POV’s and timelines, the heart ache and the love, the beautiful writing. could not put this book down.
the dual POV’s and timelines, the heart ache and the love, the beautiful writing. could not put this book down.
July 11, 2024
There’s better Drarry.
Too long, too angsty, no swoon.
Overwritten mush.
2.5 rounded down—if this had been cut by 20% (and with the Carina imprint there’s no excuse) it would have been a solid 3.5. But it rambled in an unbetaed fic way.
Too long, too angsty, no swoon.
Overwritten mush.
2.5 rounded down—if this had been cut by 20% (and with the Carina imprint there’s no excuse) it would have been a solid 3.5. But it rambled in an unbetaed fic way.
December 31, 2022
Reviewed For Love Bytes – 2 Hearts
Theodore Beaumont started as King of the kids. He had his family reputation to live up to, but life at the top could be lonely. Years later, events have seen him go from top to bottom and back to respectability. His emotions have traveled the same journey, leaving behind a broken heart and family – though he is proud to be a good dad.
Jack Gardner started at the bottom of the pile – the one everyone looked down at. He had a family who didn’t care, but he had his intelligence and friends that helped. Years later, events have seen him rise through the ranks, but at a cost. What he thought he wanted, what was thought would make him happy, didn’t – but he was proud to be a good dad. He, too, has regrets, lost love, and a broken family. He fears it is too late to repair the damage.
Jack and Theodore lost each other, but in mid-life, could they change their sad past for a happy future?
This is a story that I had high hopes for. The arc of enemies to lovers is well-trodden, with plenty of opportunity for angst-filled scenes and steamy reconciliations. Done well; they can be outstanding. The premise behind this story had great potential – family pressures/backgrounds, recognizing sexuality etc., getting in the way of young love. But the format and other factors turned a story I desperately wanted to like into a tale that wasn’t my cup of tea.
The story is told in the third person, from the viewpoints of Theo and Jack, though there were times when this wasn’t clear. Technically, too there were times when the tense of the writing was ambiguous, with plenty of past tense wording mixed with the odd, tonight, and now. Nevertheless, given how early I received the manuscript, it may not be the final edit, so I am happy to give some leeway.
Chapters were a combination of past and present events, but with no date reference or change in font to show a clear difference - it took some time to realize which time zone I was reading. This regular ping-ponging between periods significantly interrupted the flow of the story – though I got why they existed. Also, habitual unfinished sentences popped up everywhere with irritating frequency. I get that this technique is used to increase anticipation. However, they appeared so often anticipation turned to irritation which morphed into outright anger to the point of me shouting expletives at my laptop – pleading for at least one sentence to be finished or at least without interruption. Subsequently, it overrode any potential enjoyment.
Theo and Jack were victims of their circumstances and upbringing in their young lives, being rather evil with their biting, eviscerating encounters. In mid-life, they have been around the block. Both still need something, and deep down, they know what it is, but there’s a lot of baggage to sort through (including more biting self-protecting encounters) before they get their HEA. A hefty proportion of the story focuses on those past events instead of, letting them have their airtime before finding a way forward – which made the end somewhat abrupt, too. They also have friends who seemed to recognize what they didn’t – so why they didn’t say so at the time, I don’t know. Here there was one character that I did like – Genni.
I felt this story had great potential, but the format needed reconstructing.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for
Love Bytes.
Theodore Beaumont started as King of the kids. He had his family reputation to live up to, but life at the top could be lonely. Years later, events have seen him go from top to bottom and back to respectability. His emotions have traveled the same journey, leaving behind a broken heart and family – though he is proud to be a good dad.
Jack Gardner started at the bottom of the pile – the one everyone looked down at. He had a family who didn’t care, but he had his intelligence and friends that helped. Years later, events have seen him rise through the ranks, but at a cost. What he thought he wanted, what was thought would make him happy, didn’t – but he was proud to be a good dad. He, too, has regrets, lost love, and a broken family. He fears it is too late to repair the damage.
Jack and Theodore lost each other, but in mid-life, could they change their sad past for a happy future?
This is a story that I had high hopes for. The arc of enemies to lovers is well-trodden, with plenty of opportunity for angst-filled scenes and steamy reconciliations. Done well; they can be outstanding. The premise behind this story had great potential – family pressures/backgrounds, recognizing sexuality etc., getting in the way of young love. But the format and other factors turned a story I desperately wanted to like into a tale that wasn’t my cup of tea.
The story is told in the third person, from the viewpoints of Theo and Jack, though there were times when this wasn’t clear. Technically, too there were times when the tense of the writing was ambiguous, with plenty of past tense wording mixed with the odd, tonight, and now. Nevertheless, given how early I received the manuscript, it may not be the final edit, so I am happy to give some leeway.
Chapters were a combination of past and present events, but with no date reference or change in font to show a clear difference - it took some time to realize which time zone I was reading. This regular ping-ponging between periods significantly interrupted the flow of the story – though I got why they existed. Also, habitual unfinished sentences popped up everywhere with irritating frequency. I get that this technique is used to increase anticipation. However, they appeared so often anticipation turned to irritation which morphed into outright anger to the point of me shouting expletives at my laptop – pleading for at least one sentence to be finished or at least without interruption. Subsequently, it overrode any potential enjoyment.
Theo and Jack were victims of their circumstances and upbringing in their young lives, being rather evil with their biting, eviscerating encounters. In mid-life, they have been around the block. Both still need something, and deep down, they know what it is, but there’s a lot of baggage to sort through (including more biting self-protecting encounters) before they get their HEA. A hefty proportion of the story focuses on those past events instead of, letting them have their airtime before finding a way forward – which made the end somewhat abrupt, too. They also have friends who seemed to recognize what they didn’t – so why they didn’t say so at the time, I don’t know. Here there was one character that I did like – Genni.
I felt this story had great potential, but the format needed reconstructing.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for
Love Bytes.
October 22, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Carina Press & Carina Adores (Harlequin) for letting me obtain and e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I thought after reading the description and seeing the lovely cover art that this book was going to be right up my alley. Jack and Theodore are childhood enemies turned to lovers, now estranged, figuring out how to be happy in their new lives (post-divorce from their respective wives) and finding a way to be together again. And while there was some fun in the book, the highlight honestly being the erotica. Not even the characters of the book could really nail it home for me - even the fact (cause I refuse to believe it was not intentional), that the two main characters are Drarry stand-ins.
My main complaint with the book is how confusing it seemed to be to read at times. Hopping between three different stages in their lives - their past as children in school, their time together after graduation, and the present day where they are navigating finding themselves and each other again. The time skips would sometimes happen in new chapters, where the fact that you were now in a different time period wasn't mentioned until sometimes paragraphs in. Forcing you to then re-read those paragraphs in a different frame of mind. Other times the time skips would just happen mid-chapter with no warning which was oftentimes abrupt and in the middle of something else occurring. I felt that there was almost too much of an emphasis on everything that occurred between them as children and teenagers, and maybe it's just me but I wish the majority of the time we had spent was with them as adults and them coming together and the knitting of both of their families (Rather than the rush it seemed to be in at the end).
Because the timeframe felt like it was constantly changing I felt the pacing suffered quite a bit, being taken out of moments to explain in detail exactly why these characters are who they are and why they love each other so much rather than showing us. While the prose was beautifully written at times it often felt out of place coming from these characters - especially when they were younger.
I wouldn't say I disliked the book but everything about it was just ok for me. Jack and Theodore filled their roles well, but they and the rest of the cast of characters never sank into my heart. These are of course my own opinions, if you read this book and love it then do so wholeheartedly without my own silly thoughts on the book.
I thought after reading the description and seeing the lovely cover art that this book was going to be right up my alley. Jack and Theodore are childhood enemies turned to lovers, now estranged, figuring out how to be happy in their new lives (post-divorce from their respective wives) and finding a way to be together again. And while there was some fun in the book, the highlight honestly being the erotica. Not even the characters of the book could really nail it home for me - even the fact (cause I refuse to believe it was not intentional), that the two main characters are Drarry stand-ins.
My main complaint with the book is how confusing it seemed to be to read at times. Hopping between three different stages in their lives - their past as children in school, their time together after graduation, and the present day where they are navigating finding themselves and each other again. The time skips would sometimes happen in new chapters, where the fact that you were now in a different time period wasn't mentioned until sometimes paragraphs in. Forcing you to then re-read those paragraphs in a different frame of mind. Other times the time skips would just happen mid-chapter with no warning which was oftentimes abrupt and in the middle of something else occurring. I felt that there was almost too much of an emphasis on everything that occurred between them as children and teenagers, and maybe it's just me but I wish the majority of the time we had spent was with them as adults and them coming together and the knitting of both of their families (Rather than the rush it seemed to be in at the end).
Because the timeframe felt like it was constantly changing I felt the pacing suffered quite a bit, being taken out of moments to explain in detail exactly why these characters are who they are and why they love each other so much rather than showing us. While the prose was beautifully written at times it often felt out of place coming from these characters - especially when they were younger.
I wouldn't say I disliked the book but everything about it was just ok for me. Jack and Theodore filled their roles well, but they and the rest of the cast of characters never sank into my heart. These are of course my own opinions, if you read this book and love it then do so wholeheartedly without my own silly thoughts on the book.
March 3, 2023
DNF'd after about 150 pages.
Picked this up because so many people said it was thinly veiled Harry/Draco fanfic. While that was definitely true, it did not have the readability of a fanfic at all. This book is all over the place with timelines and characterizations. It was a mess to follow and when I hit the point of actively skimming it to find an interesting part and still didn't find anything I gave up.
Picked this up because so many people said it was thinly veiled Harry/Draco fanfic. While that was definitely true, it did not have the readability of a fanfic at all. This book is all over the place with timelines and characterizations. It was a mess to follow and when I hit the point of actively skimming it to find an interesting part and still didn't find anything I gave up.
January 12, 2023
This was a painfully hard read. There’s constant back and fourth between time periods and it was really difficult to follow, that I just started losing interest entirely.
Also I now just found out this is some sort of Drarry fanfic… be fr
Also I now just found out this is some sort of Drarry fanfic… be fr
Want to read
March 30, 2022Harry? Draco? That you?
July 31, 2024
Overall this was a fun read and I enjoyed it but I do think I would have rated it lower if I didn't immediately realize that it was repackaged fanfic. I think I would have wanted a couple more gaps to be filled from their childhood and then school days to understand why they are behaving the way they are in the present.
Character rating - 3.5 .
Plot rating - 3.
Character rating - 3.5 .
Plot rating - 3.
December 29, 2022
This is a Drarry (Draco/Harry) fanfiction with serial number barely scratched off and I AM IMPRESSED.
I had so much fun! I read the book so quickly - from 30% to finishing in a matter of few hours - and even though the ending was kinda rushed, there was more tell than show I really enjoyed it!!!
I think I would be having way more fun if I didn't feel it was a fanfic but!! A WIN IS A WIN.
I had so much fun! I read the book so quickly - from 30% to finishing in a matter of few hours - and even though the ending was kinda rushed, there was more tell than show I really enjoyed it!!!
I think I would be having way more fun if I didn't feel it was a fanfic but!! A WIN IS A WIN.
December 18, 2022
Rating: ⭐️⭐️ 2/5
Spice: 🌶️ 1/5
Tropes/Topics:
MM Romance ✔️
Enemies to Lovers ✔️
Opposites Attract ✔️
From the moment Jack Gardner saw Theodore Beaumont, he hated him and everything he represented. Theo was everything Jack wasn't which just added to his hate for him. Their time together at Gwynns Academy wasn't pleasant.. unless you count that ONE moment, that ONE chance encounter after graduation.
17 years later, their worlds collide once again when they're both dropping of their sons at Gywnns Academy. Jack and Theo have both different lives, both with a secret hidden within their own respective marriages. Seeing each other again, brings those feelings of longing, those feelings of desire, but also the feeling of fear- of being hurt all over again.
J A C K & T H E O
While they were parts within the book that i fxckn ADORED, I didn't really FEEL and ultimately, that's how I rate my books. but the type of FEELINGS i get from it.
These two individually, were BROKEN and those type of boys are my FAVORITEEEEE. 🥰 (I WANNA FIX THEM ALL LET ME BE! 😩)
But together?! no C H E M I S T R Y and that's what it ultimately boiled down for me.
What I L O V E D:
- The description of the book and the simply beautiful cover is what GOT me! & yes, I know we'reNOT supposed to judge a book by it's cover but I DID! 😩
- Although their marriages weren't PERFECT (but really whose is 🤷🏻♀️) I loved that they still LOVED their respective wives but unfortunately they weren't IN LOVE.
- The spiceeeee was N I C E
My d i s l i k e s:
- The hardest part was actually FOLLOWING. The timeline was a little bit EVERYWHERE.
It would change right BEFORE the chapter & sometimes DURING (MID) chapter. It was ODD.
- There was more focus on their childhood than in the NOW
- Before anything i want to state that there IS an HEA for Jack & Theo. But that ENDING? just... idkkk.
*Thank you to NetGalley, Kit Coltrane, & team for the ARC in exchange of an honest review
Spice: 🌶️ 1/5
Tropes/Topics:
MM Romance ✔️
Enemies to Lovers ✔️
Opposites Attract ✔️
From the moment Jack Gardner saw Theodore Beaumont, he hated him and everything he represented. Theo was everything Jack wasn't which just added to his hate for him. Their time together at Gwynns Academy wasn't pleasant.. unless you count that ONE moment, that ONE chance encounter after graduation.
17 years later, their worlds collide once again when they're both dropping of their sons at Gywnns Academy. Jack and Theo have both different lives, both with a secret hidden within their own respective marriages. Seeing each other again, brings those feelings of longing, those feelings of desire, but also the feeling of fear- of being hurt all over again.
J A C K & T H E O
While they were parts within the book that i fxckn ADORED, I didn't really FEEL and ultimately, that's how I rate my books. but the type of FEELINGS i get from it.
These two individually, were BROKEN and those type of boys are my FAVORITEEEEE. 🥰 (I WANNA FIX THEM ALL LET ME BE! 😩)
But together?! no C H E M I S T R Y and that's what it ultimately boiled down for me.
What I L O V E D:
- The description of the book and the simply beautiful cover is what GOT me! & yes, I know we're
- Although their marriages weren't PERFECT (but really whose is 🤷🏻♀️) I loved that they still LOVED their respective wives but unfortunately they weren't IN LOVE.
- The spiceeeee was N I C E
My d i s l i k e s:
- The hardest part was actually FOLLOWING. The timeline was a little bit EVERYWHERE.
It would change right BEFORE the chapter & sometimes DURING (MID) chapter. It was ODD.
- There was more focus on their childhood than in the NOW
- Before anything i want to state that there IS an HEA for Jack & Theo. But that ENDING? just... idkkk.
*Thank you to NetGalley, Kit Coltrane, & team for the ARC in exchange of an honest review
September 16, 2024
3.5 - occasionally cheesy romance but overall cute
A bit more graphic than I was expecting!
A bit more graphic than I was expecting!
February 1, 2023
2/1/23: I counted the em dashes so you don't have to. In the 311 pages of this book, there are 1,323 em dashes.
They were distracting and took away from the story for me.
Also, I didn't like this book.
1/31/23: Stay tuned for the final em dash count.
They were distracting and took away from the story for me.
Also, I didn't like this book.
1/31/23: Stay tuned for the final em dash count.
February 6, 2024
4.5 Stars
****
Jack Gardner hated Theodore "Theo" Beaumont from the moment he first met the wealthy, pompous jerk. Their high school career was full of animosity, culminating in a fight and Theo leaving for Ireland. Then one unexpected summer together changed their lives. Seventeen years later and their sons are starting at their old school, and have somehow become roommates. This means they must exist within each others orbit again, as their sons begin to bond the way they never could. Both men are now divorced, and Jack begins to think that maybe he can fix a terrible mistake he made years before. Whereas Theo is trying to guard his heart from further pain and loss.
Jack is a poor child suffering from neglect by a mother who wishes he did not exist. He befriends a young girl with a loving family and they push him to apply to the same boarding school their daughter is going to, one that offers scholarships. Theo is the son of a very wealthy family, his father is cold and particularly cruel to Theo. Both boys feel an instant attraction to one another, but never having been shown love and affection, they push aside this feeling and hide it behind hate, jealousy, rage. Feeding that pit of anger in their stomachs at how they were raised, how much of themselves they hide due to fear.
Jack also feels beholden to his friend's, Meg, parents for all they have done for him. So, when Meg begins to show she has deeper feelings for Jack he sort of just accepts this new role as her boyfriend (knowing his love for her feels different from romantic love and that he does not melt into her kisses). Jack also feels that he must present himself a certain way, after having fought his way into a prestigious school, then having befriended an older man with no heirs who takes him under his wing. He puts these pressures on himself to adhere to what he believes this new position requires in terms of having a wife, children, a good job, no secrets or hidden desires.
Theo is such a broken man, who hardens his heart to anyone but his son and close friends. He is always trying to make up for his father's criminal ways by supporting others, by not becoming that cruel, vindictive man. But when he is around Jack he feels so many emotions and fears all of them, especially after everything that happened between them. He once was willing to give up everything he had, all of who he was, all of the burdens his wealth, privilege and family had put on him, in order to be with Jack. Jack let him down and he is reluctant to ever trust this man again.
I read this book so quickly, as I enjoyed the premise and how the story was plotted. Chapters start in the present, then flip to a moment in the past (splitting chapters between Jack and Theo's point of views). The past memories go in chronological order, from the boys meetings, to high school, to their summer in Cork, to their angry goodbyes. Whereas the past is broken up and shifts quickly at first and then slows to a crawl during their summer in Cork, the present takes place in a shorter span of time as Jack works to win Theo's trust and heart back. My only annoyance, and this is personal, was the specific choice the author made in formatting. Specifically, all of the em dashes throughout the novel (I am a comma girlie, always have been), often used at the end of a paragraph instead of a period. It lends for abrupt cuts to a train of thought, and I found it too jarring and it hurt the flow of the story.
The side characters were also well flushed out, with both friends and family playing a key role in helping both Jack and Theo find their way to one another. Jack's ex is angry at first, but slowly begins to understand why he did what he did, why he lied, why he kept their life and love going when his heart was somewhere else. She slowly forgives and heals and pushes him to put himself out there and find that true happiness. His kids seem to have realized all of this sooner than he did, and his son especially seems to have a kinship with him. So, seeing his and Theo's son play out the story of what they could have been like at school was a nice nod to possibilities and missed chances and the change in the world since they were children. Theo's friends seem scary, but they are also the children of swindlers who were once on top of the world and then felt terrible about what their parents did, not knowing how exactly to channel their own rage and how to redeem themselves. I liked seeing these flawed characters navigating the hardships of life with supportive friends.
I loved the two main characters, Jack and Theo. Two broken children so afraid of who they are because of their parents. But, truly loving each other despite being so damaged. With supportive friends who help them find their truth and want them to be all the way happy.
****
Jack Gardner hated Theodore "Theo" Beaumont from the moment he first met the wealthy, pompous jerk. Their high school career was full of animosity, culminating in a fight and Theo leaving for Ireland. Then one unexpected summer together changed their lives. Seventeen years later and their sons are starting at their old school, and have somehow become roommates. This means they must exist within each others orbit again, as their sons begin to bond the way they never could. Both men are now divorced, and Jack begins to think that maybe he can fix a terrible mistake he made years before. Whereas Theo is trying to guard his heart from further pain and loss.
Jack is a poor child suffering from neglect by a mother who wishes he did not exist. He befriends a young girl with a loving family and they push him to apply to the same boarding school their daughter is going to, one that offers scholarships. Theo is the son of a very wealthy family, his father is cold and particularly cruel to Theo. Both boys feel an instant attraction to one another, but never having been shown love and affection, they push aside this feeling and hide it behind hate, jealousy, rage. Feeding that pit of anger in their stomachs at how they were raised, how much of themselves they hide due to fear.
Jack also feels beholden to his friend's, Meg, parents for all they have done for him. So, when Meg begins to show she has deeper feelings for Jack he sort of just accepts this new role as her boyfriend (knowing his love for her feels different from romantic love and that he does not melt into her kisses). Jack also feels that he must present himself a certain way, after having fought his way into a prestigious school, then having befriended an older man with no heirs who takes him under his wing. He puts these pressures on himself to adhere to what he believes this new position requires in terms of having a wife, children, a good job, no secrets or hidden desires.
Theo is such a broken man, who hardens his heart to anyone but his son and close friends. He is always trying to make up for his father's criminal ways by supporting others, by not becoming that cruel, vindictive man. But when he is around Jack he feels so many emotions and fears all of them, especially after everything that happened between them. He once was willing to give up everything he had, all of who he was, all of the burdens his wealth, privilege and family had put on him, in order to be with Jack. Jack let him down and he is reluctant to ever trust this man again.
I read this book so quickly, as I enjoyed the premise and how the story was plotted. Chapters start in the present, then flip to a moment in the past (splitting chapters between Jack and Theo's point of views). The past memories go in chronological order, from the boys meetings, to high school, to their summer in Cork, to their angry goodbyes. Whereas the past is broken up and shifts quickly at first and then slows to a crawl during their summer in Cork, the present takes place in a shorter span of time as Jack works to win Theo's trust and heart back. My only annoyance, and this is personal, was the specific choice the author made in formatting. Specifically, all of the em dashes throughout the novel (I am a comma girlie, always have been), often used at the end of a paragraph instead of a period. It lends for abrupt cuts to a train of thought, and I found it too jarring and it hurt the flow of the story.
The side characters were also well flushed out, with both friends and family playing a key role in helping both Jack and Theo find their way to one another. Jack's ex is angry at first, but slowly begins to understand why he did what he did, why he lied, why he kept their life and love going when his heart was somewhere else. She slowly forgives and heals and pushes him to put himself out there and find that true happiness. His kids seem to have realized all of this sooner than he did, and his son especially seems to have a kinship with him. So, seeing his and Theo's son play out the story of what they could have been like at school was a nice nod to possibilities and missed chances and the change in the world since they were children. Theo's friends seem scary, but they are also the children of swindlers who were once on top of the world and then felt terrible about what their parents did, not knowing how exactly to channel their own rage and how to redeem themselves. I liked seeing these flawed characters navigating the hardships of life with supportive friends.
I loved the two main characters, Jack and Theo. Two broken children so afraid of who they are because of their parents. But, truly loving each other despite being so damaged. With supportive friends who help them find their truth and want them to be all the way happy.
March 27, 2023
“He wanted him more than he wanted food. He wanted him, in that moment, more than he wanted family.”
— Jack Gardner
“When they couldn’t overcome their hatred of each other, even as Theo loved Jack with every part of his desolate soul.”
— Theo Beaumont
This book was supposedly a book I would be reading for quite a few days, my escape from the main book I was reading but I finished it within 6 hours. I had always hated second chance romance but this was an exception, our two main characters Theo and Jack, oh how I loved reading about them. The book switches from past and present, what happened then and what’s about to happen now. Jack and Theo relationship was truly something else, they were enemies-to-lovers, they truly hated each other in the past, but there was always some form of heat and tension buried under all the hatred.
“wanting what every young person wanted—just someone to hold—and feeling unable to have it. Being angry at each other for that desire; resenting the person you loved. Trying to hide it. And yet it was so obvious, from the outside, that they were meant to be together.”
— Jack Gardner
The story takes place during their academic years and 19 years after, both having children as well as divorced. It’s always been the longing between them, the “what ifs”, the picture of the other person in their mind when they were both with their wives. The having to pretend, convincing yourself that this was enough even when it truly never was. I cried during one scene, and I hardly cry cause of books in general but I just felt as broken the same way the main character felt broken, I just wanted them both to be together and be finally happy, to stop this ping-pong game they’ve been doing, longing each other, hurting each other, never truly accepting.
Their relationship was messed up cause they were messed up, both had no affection or received affection towards their parents, both had different ways of living but the trauma and the neglect resulted in the same outcome, they were two boys with different past who became halves of a whole but they were pieces that didn’t belong together, they didn’t fit together but they forced themselves to fit together because that is how much they love each other, no matter the hurt, the lies, the agony, the wrong they’ve been doing to each other, deep down inside they wanted to be love, desired, needed, by the other person. They had carved out their parts the moment they laid eyes on each other. Even when they were both happy living separate lives, both knew that something — someone — was always missing.
It’s a beautiful ending, the side characters are quite funny too, there wasn’t even a single character I hated it or disliked, everything just felt so right. It was a happy ending, they are finally together and happy. One thing I did absolutely hate was their sons also getting together, I never really liked that in romances where they have separate kids, they always get involved romantically and it just felt odd to me, technically wouldn’t they be your step-sibling? But don’t worry it was only one moment at the very end but it almost spoiled the whole book. But overall— I’m happy I read this book.
— Jack Gardner
“When they couldn’t overcome their hatred of each other, even as Theo loved Jack with every part of his desolate soul.”
— Theo Beaumont
This book was supposedly a book I would be reading for quite a few days, my escape from the main book I was reading but I finished it within 6 hours. I had always hated second chance romance but this was an exception, our two main characters Theo and Jack, oh how I loved reading about them. The book switches from past and present, what happened then and what’s about to happen now. Jack and Theo relationship was truly something else, they were enemies-to-lovers, they truly hated each other in the past, but there was always some form of heat and tension buried under all the hatred.
“wanting what every young person wanted—just someone to hold—and feeling unable to have it. Being angry at each other for that desire; resenting the person you loved. Trying to hide it. And yet it was so obvious, from the outside, that they were meant to be together.”
— Jack Gardner
The story takes place during their academic years and 19 years after, both having children as well as divorced. It’s always been the longing between them, the “what ifs”, the picture of the other person in their mind when they were both with their wives. The having to pretend, convincing yourself that this was enough even when it truly never was. I cried during one scene, and I hardly cry cause of books in general but I just felt as broken the same way the main character felt broken, I just wanted them both to be together and be finally happy, to stop this ping-pong game they’ve been doing, longing each other, hurting each other, never truly accepting.
Their relationship was messed up cause they were messed up, both had no affection or received affection towards their parents, both had different ways of living but the trauma and the neglect resulted in the same outcome, they were two boys with different past who became halves of a whole but they were pieces that didn’t belong together, they didn’t fit together but they forced themselves to fit together because that is how much they love each other, no matter the hurt, the lies, the agony, the wrong they’ve been doing to each other, deep down inside they wanted to be love, desired, needed, by the other person. They had carved out their parts the moment they laid eyes on each other. Even when they were both happy living separate lives, both knew that something — someone — was always missing.
It’s a beautiful ending, the side characters are quite funny too, there wasn’t even a single character I hated it or disliked, everything just felt so right. It was a happy ending, they are finally together and happy. One thing I did absolutely hate was their sons also getting together, I never really liked that in romances where they have separate kids, they always get involved romantically and it just felt odd to me, technically wouldn’t they be your step-sibling? But don’t worry it was only one moment at the very end but it almost spoiled the whole book. But overall— I’m happy I read this book.
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