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Over the course of one chaotic night stranded at the Denver airport, Ryn confronts her shattered past thanks to the charm of romance, the uniqueness of strangers, and the magic of ordinary places in this stunning novel from the author of Boys of Summer.
Ryn has one unread text message on her phone. And it's been there for almost a year.
She hasn't tried to read it. She can't. She won't. Because that one message is the last thing her best friend ever said to her before she died.
But as Ryn finds herself trapped in the Denver International Airport on New Year's Eve thanks to a never-ending blizzard on the one-year anniversary of her best friend's death, fate literally runs into her.
And his name is Xander.
When the two accidentally swap phones, Ryn and Xander are thrust into the chaos of an unforgettable all-night adventure, filled with charming and mysterious strangers, a secret New Year's Eve bash, and a possible Illuminati conspiracy hidden within the Denver airport. But as the bizarre night continues, all Ryn can think about is that one unread text message. It follows her wherever she goes, because Ryn can't get her brilliantly wild and free-spirited best friend out of her head.
Ryn can't move on.
But tonight, for the first time ever, she's trying. And maybe that's a start.
As moving as it is funny, The Chaos of Standing Still is a heartwarming story about the earth-shattering challenges life throws at us—and the unexpected strangers who help us along the way.
Audiobook
First published November 28, 2017
If Lottie hadn’t died, I never would have known Xander.
For the past year I’ve been searching for answers that I may never find. That may not even exist. No matter how many times I look at all the information, no matter how many times I replay January 1st, 10:05 a.m., in my head, Lottie’s death may never make sense to me.
I blow out a frustrated breath. “But we can’t just stop here. Don’t you want to know? You said this was one of your big problems. Don’t you want to solve it? Get to the truth? You’re a scientist! Aren’t scientists obsessed with finding answers?” And there they are again. Those inquisitive eyes of his. That calm, observing gaze. Except this time, there’s something else in there too. Empathy. “Yes, we are,” Troy says in his usual blunt tone. “But as a scientist, you also need to know when to let go and accept the fact that sometimes there are no answers.”
”Just read the message, Ryn. Stop avoiding your feelings and read the damn message! Look, it’s easy.” His finger plunges toward the screen, and it may as well be a knife plunging into my heart.
“Nooooooo!” I scream, causing a few sleeping passengers around us to stir. But it’s too late. He’s done it. He’s clicked it. He’s reading it. It’s read. It will never be unread again.
But this isn’t drawing. At least not like any drawing I’ve ever done before. This is an outpouring. This is a release. These are all the lines and all the shadows and all the shapes that have been trapped inside me for almost a year. That have been following me around wherever I go. Waiting to be made real. This is like something moving through me, piloting my hand, emptying my mind until everything around me disappears. The room. The snow. The people. Even Xander. This is trying to catch water from a pitcher in a thimble. This is a year’s worth of demons channeled into a fragile piece of paper. This is me finally breathing life back into Lottie.
”And I thought I could hang on to her forever. I thought if I could just keep one tiny piece of her alive, then everything would be fine. She would never really be gone. But now that piece is gone too, and I feel so alone. I feel more alone right now than the day she died. I thought if I could just control the rest of the world, then this one uncontrollable part of it wouldn’t matter. Or it couldn’t hurt. But it turns out, I was wrong. Because it hurts like hell.”
What if life is predictable? What if people leave for no reason? What if losing is just another part of living? What if the universe can’t be controlled? What if chaos is good? What if some questions can never be answered? What if that’s okay?
I think that’s okay.


“Any system, if left unattended or isolated, will eventually result in entropy. Or chaos.”