What do you think?
Rate this book
In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies
For decades, our cultural discourse around trans and gender-diverse people has been viewed through a medical lens, through diagnoses and symptoms set down in books by cisgender doctors, or through a political lens, through dangerous caricatures invented by politicians clinging to power. But those who claim non-binary gender identity deserve their own discourse, born out of the work of the transsexual movement, absorbed into the idea of transgender, and now, finally, emerging as its own category.
In tracing the history and theory of non-binary identity, and telling of their own coming out, non-binary writer Dianna E. Anderson answers questions about what being non-binary might mean, but also where non-binary people fit in the trans and queer communities. They offer a space for people to know, explore, and understand themselves in the context of a centuries-old understanding of gender nonconformity and to see beyond the strict roles our society has for men and women.
In Transit looks forward to a world where being who we are, whatever that looks like, isn't met with tension and long-winded explanations, but rather with acceptance and love. Being non-binary is about finding home in the in-between places.
In tracing the history and theory of non-binary identity, and telling of their own coming out, non-binary writer Dianna E. Anderson answers questions about what being non-binary might mean, but also where non-binary people fit in the trans and queer communities. They offer a space for people to know, explore, and understand themselves in the context of a centuries-old understanding of gender nonconformity and to see beyond the strict roles our society has for men and women.
In Transit looks forward to a world where being who we are, whatever that looks like, isn't met with tension and long-winded explanations, but rather with acceptance and love. Being non-binary is about finding home in the in-between places.
178 pages, Hardcover
First published July 12, 2022
43 people are currently reading
1065 people want to read
About the author
Dianna E. Anderson
4 books51 followersDianna E. Anderson is a nonbinary, queer writer out of Minneapolis, MN. They are the author of two books: DAMAGED GOODS and PROBLEMATIC, and working on the third, which will be out Fall 2022 from Broadleaf Books. They hold a Master of the Arts in English from Baylor University in Waco, TX, and a Master of Studies in Women’s Studies from the University of Oxford in Oxford, Oxfordshire, UK.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
August 20, 2022
So, did this book help me sort out my recent low-level, slow-burn, gender-related existential crisis? Maybe? Kind of? I'm definitely glad I decided to buy it when I found it, despite limited suitcase space. Besides a lot of personal reflections from the author, here's a ton of good history and philosophy here - I loved the story of the Public Universal Friend (an 18th century preacher who rejected gendered pronouns), and appreciated the attention given to the relatively recent recognition of gender and sexuality as being separate axes of human variation (with the unfortunate side effect of periodic political tension between gay rights and trans rights).
The thing is, it might be a little TOO slim and focused either on those personal experiences or older published works (there's GOTTA be some more recent surveys on how NB people think about themselves, right?) to fully dig into what non-binaryness means to the various people who claim that label. There was hardly any discussion of what it means to be gender-fluid, for instance. "Agender" would fit some of the experiences described, but doesn't come up as a term, and some of the other recent vocabulary options, including my favorite-that-I-can't-use aren't mentioned either. That term is "genderfae", which refers to kind of sliding around on the feminine-to-neither end of the gender spectrum, with "genderfaun" being the opposite - which I translate to kind of like being a 1-2 or 4-5 on the Kinsey scale, but for gender instead of sexuality. On the one hand, I love "genderfae" because it is more elegant than "kinda-sorta-a-woman" and because, yeah, if I was going to steal any LOTR character's style, it would be Legolas. On the other hand, I can't actually use it currently because I'd have to explain every dang time that it is not some kind of fantasy cosplay thing, and that would defeat the purpose of a concise term!
However, two things in this book did make me feel a little more confident. See, the origin of this low-level existential crisis was realizing that maybe not being able to bear putting just "she/her" as my pronouns meant something. I'd never exactly felt uncomfortable being perceived as a woman, but I was well aware that that was only because the borders around womanhood have expanded in recent centuries and decades. But, I asked myself, do these feelings mean I'm somewhere in that non-binary category, or am I just tired of gendered expectations? Well, the vibe I get from this book that latter feeling is pretty characteristic of NB people. BUT Anderson also points out that it's actually kind of hard for AFAB people to "perform" in a visually obvious way since, again, many formerly "masculine" styles (wearing pants or having short hair, for example) are no longer seen that way when worn by someone with curves or softer facial features. And for me that's actually fine, I think. AMAB people, on the other hand, are immediately seen as transgressing gender boundaries merely by painting their nails or wearing something pink and flowy - which is an advantage when they WANT to mess with gender expectations, but also puts them in more danger from people who are violently devoted to gender norms!
I appreciate that Anderson talks about how fatness plays into how one's gender is perceived, since that isn't something I'd given a lot of thought to, previously. They also argue against including NB under the "trans" umbrella because, to most people, "trans" implies transitioning TO something, which doesn't really apply to those who are happy staying in that liminal realm, always "in transit" - and I do think I agree with that!
The struggle of language to capture something like gender identity when cultural ideas are always in flux can lead to weird feelings sometimes, as with the people who react to the idea of "nonbinary" or "trans woman" as if it is an attempt to erase the identity of "woman". That's silly, of course - literally no one is saying that an AFAB person can't identify as woman if that's what she feels describes her best - but I got an accidental illustration of what that might feel like when the author said they experience attraction to all genders but identify as a lesbian because they choose to date women. I had STRONG "wait, what?" feelings about that instantly. Because, sure, having a preference is fine, and saying "I'm a lesbian" as a way to get annoying dudes to go away is very understandable! But to actually label yourself that way kinda felt like a concession to the people who demand that people who identify as bi "pick a side". However, that knee-jerk feeling went away after a bit. There are enough of us now identifying as bi or pan and talking about it that it doesn't hurt if a few people who could identify that way decide that's not the best way to describe themselves. Likewise, just because YOU think someone could identify as a gender category that you belong to, and feel a twinge of hurt that they reject it, doesn't mean they are wrong or that they are actually taking something away from you.
Or, to quote Anderson: "Each of us, queer or not, is living a life that is a complex, complicated narrative that cannot be summed up in simple ways...Whether this book confirmed for you who you are or made you think about who you could possibly be, I want you to keep moving forward into the future with the confidence that even if you don't yet know, you are on your way. No one can determine for you who you are. It is your to determine, yours to decide, and yours to become"
The thing is, it might be a little TOO slim and focused either on those personal experiences or older published works (there's GOTTA be some more recent surveys on how NB people think about themselves, right?) to fully dig into what non-binaryness means to the various people who claim that label. There was hardly any discussion of what it means to be gender-fluid, for instance. "Agender" would fit some of the experiences described, but doesn't come up as a term, and some of the other recent vocabulary options, including my favorite-that-I-can't-use aren't mentioned either. That term is "genderfae", which refers to kind of sliding around on the feminine-to-neither end of the gender spectrum, with "genderfaun" being the opposite - which I translate to kind of like being a 1-2 or 4-5 on the Kinsey scale, but for gender instead of sexuality. On the one hand, I love "genderfae" because it is more elegant than "kinda-sorta-a-woman" and because, yeah, if I was going to steal any LOTR character's style, it would be Legolas. On the other hand, I can't actually use it currently because I'd have to explain every dang time that it is not some kind of fantasy cosplay thing, and that would defeat the purpose of a concise term!
However, two things in this book did make me feel a little more confident. See, the origin of this low-level existential crisis was realizing that maybe not being able to bear putting just "she/her" as my pronouns meant something. I'd never exactly felt uncomfortable being perceived as a woman, but I was well aware that that was only because the borders around womanhood have expanded in recent centuries and decades. But, I asked myself, do these feelings mean I'm somewhere in that non-binary category, or am I just tired of gendered expectations? Well, the vibe I get from this book that latter feeling is pretty characteristic of NB people. BUT Anderson also points out that it's actually kind of hard for AFAB people to "perform" in a visually obvious way since, again, many formerly "masculine" styles (wearing pants or having short hair, for example) are no longer seen that way when worn by someone with curves or softer facial features. And for me that's actually fine, I think. AMAB people, on the other hand, are immediately seen as transgressing gender boundaries merely by painting their nails or wearing something pink and flowy - which is an advantage when they WANT to mess with gender expectations, but also puts them in more danger from people who are violently devoted to gender norms!
I appreciate that Anderson talks about how fatness plays into how one's gender is perceived, since that isn't something I'd given a lot of thought to, previously. They also argue against including NB under the "trans" umbrella because, to most people, "trans" implies transitioning TO something, which doesn't really apply to those who are happy staying in that liminal realm, always "in transit" - and I do think I agree with that!
The struggle of language to capture something like gender identity when cultural ideas are always in flux can lead to weird feelings sometimes, as with the people who react to the idea of "nonbinary" or "trans woman" as if it is an attempt to erase the identity of "woman". That's silly, of course - literally no one is saying that an AFAB person can't identify as woman if that's what she feels describes her best - but I got an accidental illustration of what that might feel like when the author said they experience attraction to all genders but identify as a lesbian because they choose to date women. I had STRONG "wait, what?" feelings about that instantly. Because, sure, having a preference is fine, and saying "I'm a lesbian" as a way to get annoying dudes to go away is very understandable! But to actually label yourself that way kinda felt like a concession to the people who demand that people who identify as bi "pick a side". However, that knee-jerk feeling went away after a bit. There are enough of us now identifying as bi or pan and talking about it that it doesn't hurt if a few people who could identify that way decide that's not the best way to describe themselves. Likewise, just because YOU think someone could identify as a gender category that you belong to, and feel a twinge of hurt that they reject it, doesn't mean they are wrong or that they are actually taking something away from you.
Or, to quote Anderson: "Each of us, queer or not, is living a life that is a complex, complicated narrative that cannot be summed up in simple ways...Whether this book confirmed for you who you are or made you think about who you could possibly be, I want you to keep moving forward into the future with the confidence that even if you don't yet know, you are on your way. No one can determine for you who you are. It is your to determine, yours to decide, and yours to become"
April 22, 2023
As a genderqueer person who came out 8 years before the author, and who has read fairly extensively about queerness and trans-ness, I have Feelings about this book, namely:
1)This book is written by a white person for other white people and it shows
2)The author's preference of gender-expansive instead of trans is making me feel Tired.
First the good stuff: they do a cogent job of summarizing a lot of complex theory from Foucault and Butler. This is also a good summary of a lot of the discussion that's happened within the community, both online and in person. It's much easier to hand someone a book rather than reconstruct a lot of gradual development in the discourse. Anderson also has a chapter on queer/trans joy and gender euphoria, which is one of my favorite things to develop in our spaces. And this has a chapter about what cis people can do to be better allies to trans people. This is a fairly accessible book to the kind of people who pick up books about being trans in bookstores.
Point 1:
So this book is structured around being a memoir. Fine. But the person talking is an ex-evangelical white person from the Midwest. Their experience as a fat person does add to the narrative complexity as they do have an entire chapter about fatness. But surprisingly, there isn't any talk in that chapter about the ways in which both gender and fatness are tightly bound with ideas of race. Anderson does include some information about marginalized people, especially the Ballroom culture of New York. But at the end of the day it's still a white person writing about their white experience. And unfortunately it seems like all of these books springing up are centered on white trans and nonbinary voices to the detriment of everyone else. The author has unfortunately not really had exposure to trans people and trans lives beyond the white communities of Minneapolis and Oxford.
Point 2:
I think that the author is on the activist language merry-go-round (as Julia Serano coined it) and that choosing to use "gender-expansive" as an umbrella term instead of trans is a sign that Anderson is a newbie to this conversation and maybe they should slow their roll.
I do give them credit for forming a solid argument about why "trans" has never been a good word to describe all of us. There are issues squaring the two main branches of binary trans people and nonbinary people. It's an artificial category imposed by the outside. It can privilege medical transition over other ways of expressing one's gender. Yeah, I agree these are all problems.
Look, I've been where the author was. I too disliked many of the older terms and much to my current shame I called them out on using their own terms. I have a significant dislike of the term non-binary in general, even though I use it with cis people. But I am a little incredulous that either the author or their publisher decided to title it "In TRANSit." For better or worse we're all tied to the trans name and hunting down a new, more accurate term that will, ultimately be replaced in 5 years with another term, with another book about how the current term is terrible and flawed. I think the author is at least somewhat aware of this trend given their relief that their earlier work didn't go to press using "trans*" but their relative newness to trans spaces meant that they hadn't seen how this keeps happening over and over again, to everyone's exhaustion. (In general, I am sad that Julia Serano didn't get a mention or a citation as she's been a major force in my intellectual development as a trans person but I know one can't include everything.)
I'm also saddened by the lack of mention of nonbinary femmes, in large part because being around them gave me permission to not feel like I had to look the part of being nonbinary. Their existence posits that there is a queer femininity that is just as transgressive even if it is less obviously genderfuckery. I've been where Anderson is now and I remember the days when I went in hard for the queer masculinity. But time and experience has a way of complicating black and white thinking. I think that this book would have been better if Anderson had better stressed that they were still figuring things out. But the nature of book publishing elevates them to becoming seen as an expert on the subject. There are lots of voices saying a whole lot of things, but Anderson's is the voice that can be cited in Wikipedia because it's a published book and not said from one person to another in a bedroom or in a discord server.
If you're questioning your gender, you can get a lot more milage out of Kate Bornstein's "My Gender Workbook."
1)This book is written by a white person for other white people and it shows
2)The author's preference of gender-expansive instead of trans is making me feel Tired.
First the good stuff: they do a cogent job of summarizing a lot of complex theory from Foucault and Butler. This is also a good summary of a lot of the discussion that's happened within the community, both online and in person. It's much easier to hand someone a book rather than reconstruct a lot of gradual development in the discourse. Anderson also has a chapter on queer/trans joy and gender euphoria, which is one of my favorite things to develop in our spaces. And this has a chapter about what cis people can do to be better allies to trans people. This is a fairly accessible book to the kind of people who pick up books about being trans in bookstores.
Point 1:
So this book is structured around being a memoir. Fine. But the person talking is an ex-evangelical white person from the Midwest. Their experience as a fat person does add to the narrative complexity as they do have an entire chapter about fatness. But surprisingly, there isn't any talk in that chapter about the ways in which both gender and fatness are tightly bound with ideas of race. Anderson does include some information about marginalized people, especially the Ballroom culture of New York. But at the end of the day it's still a white person writing about their white experience. And unfortunately it seems like all of these books springing up are centered on white trans and nonbinary voices to the detriment of everyone else. The author has unfortunately not really had exposure to trans people and trans lives beyond the white communities of Minneapolis and Oxford.
Point 2:
I think that the author is on the activist language merry-go-round (as Julia Serano coined it) and that choosing to use "gender-expansive" as an umbrella term instead of trans is a sign that Anderson is a newbie to this conversation and maybe they should slow their roll.
I do give them credit for forming a solid argument about why "trans" has never been a good word to describe all of us. There are issues squaring the two main branches of binary trans people and nonbinary people. It's an artificial category imposed by the outside. It can privilege medical transition over other ways of expressing one's gender. Yeah, I agree these are all problems.
Look, I've been where the author was. I too disliked many of the older terms and much to my current shame I called them out on using their own terms. I have a significant dislike of the term non-binary in general, even though I use it with cis people. But I am a little incredulous that either the author or their publisher decided to title it "In TRANSit." For better or worse we're all tied to the trans name and hunting down a new, more accurate term that will, ultimately be replaced in 5 years with another term, with another book about how the current term is terrible and flawed. I think the author is at least somewhat aware of this trend given their relief that their earlier work didn't go to press using "trans*" but their relative newness to trans spaces meant that they hadn't seen how this keeps happening over and over again, to everyone's exhaustion. (In general, I am sad that Julia Serano didn't get a mention or a citation as she's been a major force in my intellectual development as a trans person but I know one can't include everything.)
I'm also saddened by the lack of mention of nonbinary femmes, in large part because being around them gave me permission to not feel like I had to look the part of being nonbinary. Their existence posits that there is a queer femininity that is just as transgressive even if it is less obviously genderfuckery. I've been where Anderson is now and I remember the days when I went in hard for the queer masculinity. But time and experience has a way of complicating black and white thinking. I think that this book would have been better if Anderson had better stressed that they were still figuring things out. But the nature of book publishing elevates them to becoming seen as an expert on the subject. There are lots of voices saying a whole lot of things, but Anderson's is the voice that can be cited in Wikipedia because it's a published book and not said from one person to another in a bedroom or in a discord server.
If you're questioning your gender, you can get a lot more milage out of Kate Bornstein's "My Gender Workbook."
didn-t-finish
April 16, 2023I was going to DNF this after the first chapter, but then I thought, Well, I should really give this a chance. I'm still DNF'ing, this time after the third chapter, and, unlike my meh-ness after the first, after the third chapter, I have Some Thoughts (i.e., too many thoughts, way more than I've just about ever had for a book I've DNF'd so early on. Genuinely too many thoughts about just the third chapter of a book that's less than 200 pages long. Sorry.)
July 19, 2022
I am verklempt! I literally put my hand to my heart as I read the final pages of this book because that's how much it got me.
(Full disclosure before I continue: Dianna and I have been friends for about a decade (online only, but to me that is a distinction without a difference and I do not consider "online" friendships any less real or valuable than "IRL" ones). We also worked together briefly. My review may be heightened by the pride I feel in my friend and their accomplishment here, but of course all thoughts are my own and all that good stuff.)
This is an absolutely wonderful and crucial read for…well, anyone. Obviously, for non-binary folks, maybe especially those who are first exploring a more expansive gender identity for themselves, I imagine this would be an invaluable resource of representation, explanation, understanding, and love and support. Dianna expertly weaves together history and contemporary knowledge and facts with their own personal journey, in a way where each part serves to also broaden and deepen the other. I would love to put a copy of this into the hands of every non-binary person, as well as anyone who identifies as trans in some way. (As Dianna notes, "non-binary" and "trans" may overlap for some people, but not all, and certainly not everyone who is non-binary would also call themselves trans, though of course many do. This was another aspect I learned so much more about from this book.)
But I also think it is important, perhaps even necessary, for cis people to read this. As a queer cis woman, I consider it the main aspect of my allyship process to others in the queer community to learn and understand as much as I can about gender identities outside the binary. I was completely fascinated to learn more of the history of non-binary folks, as well as to gain a deeper understanding of Dianna's—and other individuals'—personal experiences and the vast inner life behind nonconformist genderfuckery. (God, that's a wonderful word. I'd seen the term "genderfuck" before but not that form of it.) I'm not brand new to the topic, but I'm obviously no expert, and there was so much in here, both of the political and personal, that was either totally new to me or at least a new lens, a new way of considering something, a new way of appreciating something. While I have never had any discomfort or doubt regarding the gender I was assigned at birth, I have never felt entirely beholden to it, either. When bigots on the right keep screaming BUT HOW DO YOU DEFINE WOMAN!!!!! at people (including in a fucking hearing for a Supreme Court Justice, for the love of God), my answer as a cis woman is basically………who fucking cares? Like, really. Who cares? Why do we need to have this strict and permanent dichotomy? A woman may be a person with a uterus and all its accessories…and also maybe not. A woman is whoever a particular person who identifies as one says she is. I don't give a damn how we define a gender because gender is by its nature an indefinable thing, and I like that. So I was already on board the Fuck Gender Express, and this book just had me hanging out next to the conductor, tooting the whistle.
It's short but amazingly substantial, academic but also totally accessible and engaging. I am so so proud of Dianna for this achievement, and for finding their way to being their true and real and absolutely awesome self. Please please please read this, and send a copy to a non-binary person you know (because I promise, you do know some, even if you don't know you do yet).
(Full disclosure before I continue: Dianna and I have been friends for about a decade (online only, but to me that is a distinction without a difference and I do not consider "online" friendships any less real or valuable than "IRL" ones). We also worked together briefly. My review may be heightened by the pride I feel in my friend and their accomplishment here, but of course all thoughts are my own and all that good stuff.)
This is an absolutely wonderful and crucial read for…well, anyone. Obviously, for non-binary folks, maybe especially those who are first exploring a more expansive gender identity for themselves, I imagine this would be an invaluable resource of representation, explanation, understanding, and love and support. Dianna expertly weaves together history and contemporary knowledge and facts with their own personal journey, in a way where each part serves to also broaden and deepen the other. I would love to put a copy of this into the hands of every non-binary person, as well as anyone who identifies as trans in some way. (As Dianna notes, "non-binary" and "trans" may overlap for some people, but not all, and certainly not everyone who is non-binary would also call themselves trans, though of course many do. This was another aspect I learned so much more about from this book.)
But I also think it is important, perhaps even necessary, for cis people to read this. As a queer cis woman, I consider it the main aspect of my allyship process to others in the queer community to learn and understand as much as I can about gender identities outside the binary. I was completely fascinated to learn more of the history of non-binary folks, as well as to gain a deeper understanding of Dianna's—and other individuals'—personal experiences and the vast inner life behind nonconformist genderfuckery. (God, that's a wonderful word. I'd seen the term "genderfuck" before but not that form of it.) I'm not brand new to the topic, but I'm obviously no expert, and there was so much in here, both of the political and personal, that was either totally new to me or at least a new lens, a new way of considering something, a new way of appreciating something. While I have never had any discomfort or doubt regarding the gender I was assigned at birth, I have never felt entirely beholden to it, either. When bigots on the right keep screaming BUT HOW DO YOU DEFINE WOMAN!!!!! at people (including in a fucking hearing for a Supreme Court Justice, for the love of God), my answer as a cis woman is basically………who fucking cares? Like, really. Who cares? Why do we need to have this strict and permanent dichotomy? A woman may be a person with a uterus and all its accessories…and also maybe not. A woman is whoever a particular person who identifies as one says she is. I don't give a damn how we define a gender because gender is by its nature an indefinable thing, and I like that. So I was already on board the Fuck Gender Express, and this book just had me hanging out next to the conductor, tooting the whistle.
It's short but amazingly substantial, academic but also totally accessible and engaging. I am so so proud of Dianna for this achievement, and for finding their way to being their true and real and absolutely awesome self. Please please please read this, and send a copy to a non-binary person you know (because I promise, you do know some, even if you don't know you do yet).
July 8, 2022
A valuable, accessible resource exploring the history and evolution of non-binary identity. There’s some exceptional writing, especially in each chapter’s conclusion. Dianna Anderson is a long-time internet friend and I knew I could count on them to explain theory in a way that would be easy to understand. They did a great job teasing out the relationship between non-binary people and the LGBTQ+ community and how this has changed over the years. As a cishet woman, I really appreciated their callout in chapter 9 for cis people to recognize their own biases and bigotry. The questions are helpful reflection points and I plan on taking my time with them. I'll be curious to hear what non-binary and trans readers make of this—there were a few aspects that felt ripe for discussion.
Content notes: anxiety, gendered violence (including murder of trans people and trans woman sent to men’s prison), Kitty Genovese case (murder and rape), transphobia, misgendering, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, discussion of gender-affirming surgery, stories of forced outings, family estrangement/rejection, rates of suicide for LGBTQ people, antisemitism in Christianity, discussion of TERFs (including JKR), gender essentialism (explicitly countered), homophobia, homophobic violence/murder, religious homophobia, homophobic slur, racism, death of mother (amyloidosis), fatphobia, fatshaming, disordered eating (not author), mother had endometriosis and eventual hysterectomy, parent with undiagnosed ADHD, COVID-19, colonialism, sexism, toxic masculinity, castration references, various childhood injuries, mention of plane crash (), reference to being born via C-section
Disclosure: I’m friendly with the author.
Content notes: anxiety, gendered violence (including murder of trans people and trans woman sent to men’s prison), Kitty Genovese case (murder and rape), transphobia, misgendering, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, discussion of gender-affirming surgery, stories of forced outings, family estrangement/rejection, rates of suicide for LGBTQ people, antisemitism in Christianity, discussion of TERFs (including JKR), gender essentialism (explicitly countered), homophobia, homophobic violence/murder, religious homophobia, homophobic slur, racism, death of mother (amyloidosis), fatphobia, fatshaming, disordered eating (not author), mother had endometriosis and eventual hysterectomy, parent with undiagnosed ADHD, COVID-19, colonialism, sexism, toxic masculinity, castration references, various childhood injuries, mention of plane crash (), reference to being born via C-section
Disclosure: I’m friendly with the author.
July 13, 2023
OK! Time to tackle In Transit. Would be a more comprehensive review if I’d gotten the print book instead of the audiobook because it’s easier to refer back, but here we are.
I enjoy D.E. Anderson’s twitter presence and they seem like a thoughtful and interesting person, so I had high hopes for the book. Unfortunately, like many people who were writers before they came out to themselves, they are way too new to this topic to have anything worth writing a book about.
Good thing first: Anderson contributes real-human-language statements of highfalutin gender theory like Butler, Halberstam, Stryker, and Foucault. That was legitimately interesting and helpful to me as someone who never read these texts in college but sees them referenced all the time.
On the other hand, here’s what I wrote around 45%:
I feel like this chapter is what happens when you trace the development of ideas of transness among western academics instead of reading about what actual people were doing with their lives. It's a funhouse mirror version of queer/trans history, there's some similarity but a lot of different emphasis and terminology. As if what people do in their bedrooms is changed when academics’ theories change. Weird!
This impression was strengthened at 54%: instead of consulting primary or even secondary sources, Anderson is skipping straight to tertiary sources.
"For many years being trans has meant disappearance, either by violence or alteration of the body to pass and go stealth. But as the queer community becomes much more visible than before, .... "
Instead of talking about *why* trans people used to exclusively go stealth (because they wouldn't let you into the medical program without that goal), Anderson skips right over it to be like “good thing that now we are more enlightened!”
And at 68%:
I really do not think that tumblr discourse *followed* the release of Imagining Transgender: An Ethnography of a Category, hot damn! I was on tumblr starting in 2009-10 and I tried to read that book around the same time and I could not make heads nor tails of it.
83%:
"we've never had a chance to sit and think about labels because our community has been focused on survival" lmao tell that to the scholars you've been quoting the whole book!
There are also at least a couple areas where Anderson badly misses the mark. The first is offhandedly mentioning Two-Spirit at 18% but not explaining anything about the history or context until 69%. They really could and should have moved that earlier. In the same vein, in the audio they mispronounce “hijra” at 28% and (IIRC) never bring it up again or explain anything more about it, which is an uncomfortable metaphor for how western trans people extract work from nonwestern gender systems without understanding them.
The second is a defining intersex as simply ‘having ambiguous genitalia at birth’ (I forgot to get the exact quote), and then going on to oversimplify and massively misunderstand the relationship between identifying as intersex and trans, for people who meet the definition of either/both categories. Anderson then has the chutzpah to criticize Andrew Sullivan’s transphobia "like the possibility of intersex people had never occurred to him." (40%)
0. a large number of intersex conditions are only diagnosed at puberty, and more only when an adult is having fertility problems,
1. non-transitioning intersex people identify as trans, as cis, as nonbinary, and as none of the above,
2. intersex people do not universally agree that intersex is part of the "trans umbrella",
2a. intersex people do not universally agree that intersex makes sense as part of the LGBTQ+ acronym,
3. some intersex people who have transitioned identify as cis,
3a. some of the aforementioned cis people attempt to throw trans people under the bus for being the real freaks,
3b. some non-intersex trans people claim to be intersex to access transition, and some of them also go on to throw other trans people under the bus (ahem Roberta Cowell ahem)
So those are my big criticisms. Most of my other issues were run-of-the-mill “oh dear, you are *way* too green to be writing a book”:
"Most nonbinary people I know are AFAB and come from highly... queerphobic backgrounds." Yeah friend, you are really telling on yourself here.
[describes ~butch flight] "...a trend that is not necessarily new." LMAO
In conclusion: do not write a book about trans shit before you’ve been out for at least 3-4 years!!! you are not the uniquely talented exception!* your adoring cis friends and publisher don’t know what they’re talking about! you will regret it! we will all regret it! you are very talented and smart and you will be even more talented and smart 3+ years from now!!
* unfortunately that position has already been taken by Daniel Lavery's Something That May Shock and Discredit You and he's successful precisely because he's so deeply familiar with the literature of early transition.
I enjoy D.E. Anderson’s twitter presence and they seem like a thoughtful and interesting person, so I had high hopes for the book. Unfortunately, like many people who were writers before they came out to themselves, they are way too new to this topic to have anything worth writing a book about.
Good thing first: Anderson contributes real-human-language statements of highfalutin gender theory like Butler, Halberstam, Stryker, and Foucault. That was legitimately interesting and helpful to me as someone who never read these texts in college but sees them referenced all the time.
On the other hand, here’s what I wrote around 45%:
I feel like this chapter is what happens when you trace the development of ideas of transness among western academics instead of reading about what actual people were doing with their lives. It's a funhouse mirror version of queer/trans history, there's some similarity but a lot of different emphasis and terminology. As if what people do in their bedrooms is changed when academics’ theories change. Weird!
This impression was strengthened at 54%: instead of consulting primary or even secondary sources, Anderson is skipping straight to tertiary sources.
"For many years being trans has meant disappearance, either by violence or alteration of the body to pass and go stealth. But as the queer community becomes much more visible than before, .... "
Instead of talking about *why* trans people used to exclusively go stealth (because they wouldn't let you into the medical program without that goal), Anderson skips right over it to be like “good thing that now we are more enlightened!”
And at 68%:
I really do not think that tumblr discourse *followed* the release of Imagining Transgender: An Ethnography of a Category, hot damn! I was on tumblr starting in 2009-10 and I tried to read that book around the same time and I could not make heads nor tails of it.
83%:
"we've never had a chance to sit and think about labels because our community has been focused on survival" lmao tell that to the scholars you've been quoting the whole book!
There are also at least a couple areas where Anderson badly misses the mark. The first is offhandedly mentioning Two-Spirit at 18% but not explaining anything about the history or context until 69%. They really could and should have moved that earlier. In the same vein, in the audio they mispronounce “hijra” at 28% and (IIRC) never bring it up again or explain anything more about it, which is an uncomfortable metaphor for how western trans people extract work from nonwestern gender systems without understanding them.
The second is a defining intersex as simply ‘having ambiguous genitalia at birth’ (I forgot to get the exact quote), and then going on to oversimplify and massively misunderstand the relationship between identifying as intersex and trans, for people who meet the definition of either/both categories. Anderson then has the chutzpah to criticize Andrew Sullivan’s transphobia "like the possibility of intersex people had never occurred to him." (40%)
0. a large number of intersex conditions are only diagnosed at puberty, and more only when an adult is having fertility problems,
1. non-transitioning intersex people identify as trans, as cis, as nonbinary, and as none of the above,
2. intersex people do not universally agree that intersex is part of the "trans umbrella",
2a. intersex people do not universally agree that intersex makes sense as part of the LGBTQ+ acronym,
3. some intersex people who have transitioned identify as cis,
3a. some of the aforementioned cis people attempt to throw trans people under the bus for being the real freaks,
3b. some non-intersex trans people claim to be intersex to access transition, and some of them also go on to throw other trans people under the bus (ahem Roberta Cowell ahem)
So those are my big criticisms. Most of my other issues were run-of-the-mill “oh dear, you are *way* too green to be writing a book”:
"Most nonbinary people I know are AFAB and come from highly... queerphobic backgrounds." Yeah friend, you are really telling on yourself here.
[describes ~butch flight] "...a trend that is not necessarily new." LMAO
In conclusion: do not write a book about trans shit before you’ve been out for at least 3-4 years!!! you are not the uniquely talented exception!* your adoring cis friends and publisher don’t know what they’re talking about! you will regret it! we will all regret it! you are very talented and smart and you will be even more talented and smart 3+ years from now!!
* unfortunately that position has already been taken by Daniel Lavery's Something That May Shock and Discredit You and he's successful precisely because he's so deeply familiar with the literature of early transition.
March 31, 2023
This might be one of the first queer theory books that I didn’t like, so happy Trans Day of Visibility to me. I’m not even sure I would call this queer theory because there wasn’t much theory in it at all. It was some weird combo of personal anecdotes (a lot of these), maybe a queer theory / idea, and then really simple concepts about gender variance.
There is truly no structure or purpose to this book. It felt like the author was trying to meet a word count but really only had two or three good ideas to talk about.
The attempt at a call to action to cis people was so bland and basic that it did not match the general academic gravitas attitude that the rest of the book gave off. Do they really think cis people who don’t respect labels and haven’t considered their own gender are picking up this book? Seems out of touch.
Unfortunately the more I read it the less buy in I had. It just gets worse and worse. I would not recommend this one to anyone tbh.
There is truly no structure or purpose to this book. It felt like the author was trying to meet a word count but really only had two or three good ideas to talk about.
The attempt at a call to action to cis people was so bland and basic that it did not match the general academic gravitas attitude that the rest of the book gave off. Do they really think cis people who don’t respect labels and haven’t considered their own gender are picking up this book? Seems out of touch.
Unfortunately the more I read it the less buy in I had. It just gets worse and worse. I would not recommend this one to anyone tbh.
December 24, 2023
Same: "Theory gave me the language to understand myself, define my space within the world, and consider the ways in which we think about the self and the other, in all the queerest ways."
"I’m in my thirties now. I’ve spent the last decade unpacking most of the lessons I learned about the roles of men and women in the world. I’ve come out to myself and the world as a lesbian. And now, the more and more I think about what it means to be my very self, the more and more the label of “woman” feels incorrect, a label imposed by forces outside of me."
"I knew that girl from back then never quite sat right in her gender, either, even though she was fine and happy with who she was."
"the goal of non-binary identity is never to “pass” as a singular gender but rather, by our very existence, challenge and deconstruct the ways assumptions and presuppositions about gender altogether."
"Theory gave me the language to understand myself, define my space within the world, and consider the ways in which we think about the self and the other, in all the queerest ways."
"gender is not inherent at birth but rather made through the collective action of response to outward and inward stimuli."
"Identity—particularly gender—is not sprung whole cloth out of some mystical, ethereal plane but is instead the continued, habitual practice of following the rules of our society set up for genders. Women are women because they consistently practice their gender in ways that have been largely culturally agreed upon as “womanhood.”"
->"Because of the ways in which my language was restricted and denied to me as a young person, I, like many other millennials, am only just now realizing who I am."
So cool: "the colonies themselves had people who exhibited what we now identify as transgender identities. Most famous, perhaps, is that of the Public Universal Friend, an AFAB evangelist who, in 1776, reportedly died and then resurrected as a genderless androgyne who preached a gospel similar to common Quaker theology. They refused the use of gendered pronouns and wore androgynous clothing throughout their life. Their clothing was a traditional black clergy robe, under which feminine petticoats peeked out, and a traditionally masculine brimmed hat paired with traditionally feminine scarves. They called themselves Public Universal Friend, which companions at the time respected, referring to them as The Friend or simply P.U.F. When interlopers inquired about their gender or manner of dress, they would simply reply in a style mimicking biblical text: “I am that I am.”" ... "The Friend’s refusal to be called by gendered pronouns—neither he nor she—and desire to be referred to simply as The Friend indicate that their life was not an exercise in female empowerment but rather something else entirely: non-binary before we had the words for it."
"our history as a queer community has been erased through brutal acts of violence and suppression. The reason many think trans people are a new thing is not solely because of ignorance; it is because we have been violently removed and silenced, kept out of the narrative and unable to tell our own stories. The reason many think trans people are a new thing is not solely because of ignorance; it is because we have been violently removed and silenced, kept out of the narrative and unable to tell our own stories."
"The LGBTQ+ community lost centuries of research and the archives of our kind to the violence of fascists, which has allowed others to rewrite our history to remove us from it entirely. To properly and accurately discuss trans identity and trans formation, one must understand that it includes a history of being erased, excluded, and violently removed from history."
This was one of my favorite quotes in this book:
"Non-binary finds a home in the borderlands, neither man nor woman, happily read as the Mindy St. Claire of the gendered world, alone in our own “medium place.”"
"For the non-binary, it is our desire to simply exist as a “not,” as a permanently perceived Other. Our very presence calls to attention the question of gender as a given, forcing others into confusion to the delight of our trollish selves. Non-binary people are, in a sense, fleeing womanhood and manhood, but we are not fleeing to a perceived easier space or to a home, necessarily. We are fleeing to the in-between, constantly running, forever traveling but never landing, in that liminal space between destinations. I am choosing, for now, to exist in this middle ground, in my medium place."
"They purposely eschew the idea of “passing” as any other gender than what they are, often embracing a presentation of the genderfuck—the person who deliberately refuses to be read as one gender or the other as a mechanism to overturn ideas about gender signaling altogether."
(I love that!)
"My own humanity isn’t something I should have to make an argument for."
"Quite often, we knew something was “off” but didn’t have the language or concepts to explain it. I had to do so much reading before I came out about my identity—I wanted first and foremost to be an expert on myself and what my gender meant to me."
"This is what the stakes are. Your choices can make the world better for our community, or complacency can make it worse. We aren’t going anywhere, but sometimes we’re just tired of having to be our own advocates all the time. You must stand in for us when we cannot stand for ourselves, hold the line when we are failing, and be willing to take on just a small bit of the risk we take in living our authentic selves every day. Love only wins if we fight for it."
"Our hope sits in the complicated, complex stories of who we are, as queer people, as parents, siblings, family, friends, strangers, lovers. When we remember who we are, we have hope."
"I’m in my thirties now. I’ve spent the last decade unpacking most of the lessons I learned about the roles of men and women in the world. I’ve come out to myself and the world as a lesbian. And now, the more and more I think about what it means to be my very self, the more and more the label of “woman” feels incorrect, a label imposed by forces outside of me."
"I knew that girl from back then never quite sat right in her gender, either, even though she was fine and happy with who she was."
"the goal of non-binary identity is never to “pass” as a singular gender but rather, by our very existence, challenge and deconstruct the ways assumptions and presuppositions about gender altogether."
"Theory gave me the language to understand myself, define my space within the world, and consider the ways in which we think about the self and the other, in all the queerest ways."
"gender is not inherent at birth but rather made through the collective action of response to outward and inward stimuli."
"Identity—particularly gender—is not sprung whole cloth out of some mystical, ethereal plane but is instead the continued, habitual practice of following the rules of our society set up for genders. Women are women because they consistently practice their gender in ways that have been largely culturally agreed upon as “womanhood.”"
->"Because of the ways in which my language was restricted and denied to me as a young person, I, like many other millennials, am only just now realizing who I am."
So cool: "the colonies themselves had people who exhibited what we now identify as transgender identities. Most famous, perhaps, is that of the Public Universal Friend, an AFAB evangelist who, in 1776, reportedly died and then resurrected as a genderless androgyne who preached a gospel similar to common Quaker theology. They refused the use of gendered pronouns and wore androgynous clothing throughout their life. Their clothing was a traditional black clergy robe, under which feminine petticoats peeked out, and a traditionally masculine brimmed hat paired with traditionally feminine scarves. They called themselves Public Universal Friend, which companions at the time respected, referring to them as The Friend or simply P.U.F. When interlopers inquired about their gender or manner of dress, they would simply reply in a style mimicking biblical text: “I am that I am.”" ... "The Friend’s refusal to be called by gendered pronouns—neither he nor she—and desire to be referred to simply as The Friend indicate that their life was not an exercise in female empowerment but rather something else entirely: non-binary before we had the words for it."
"our history as a queer community has been erased through brutal acts of violence and suppression. The reason many think trans people are a new thing is not solely because of ignorance; it is because we have been violently removed and silenced, kept out of the narrative and unable to tell our own stories. The reason many think trans people are a new thing is not solely because of ignorance; it is because we have been violently removed and silenced, kept out of the narrative and unable to tell our own stories."
"The LGBTQ+ community lost centuries of research and the archives of our kind to the violence of fascists, which has allowed others to rewrite our history to remove us from it entirely. To properly and accurately discuss trans identity and trans formation, one must understand that it includes a history of being erased, excluded, and violently removed from history."
This was one of my favorite quotes in this book:
"Non-binary finds a home in the borderlands, neither man nor woman, happily read as the Mindy St. Claire of the gendered world, alone in our own “medium place.”"
"For the non-binary, it is our desire to simply exist as a “not,” as a permanently perceived Other. Our very presence calls to attention the question of gender as a given, forcing others into confusion to the delight of our trollish selves. Non-binary people are, in a sense, fleeing womanhood and manhood, but we are not fleeing to a perceived easier space or to a home, necessarily. We are fleeing to the in-between, constantly running, forever traveling but never landing, in that liminal space between destinations. I am choosing, for now, to exist in this middle ground, in my medium place."
"They purposely eschew the idea of “passing” as any other gender than what they are, often embracing a presentation of the genderfuck—the person who deliberately refuses to be read as one gender or the other as a mechanism to overturn ideas about gender signaling altogether."
(I love that!)
"My own humanity isn’t something I should have to make an argument for."
"Quite often, we knew something was “off” but didn’t have the language or concepts to explain it. I had to do so much reading before I came out about my identity—I wanted first and foremost to be an expert on myself and what my gender meant to me."
"This is what the stakes are. Your choices can make the world better for our community, or complacency can make it worse. We aren’t going anywhere, but sometimes we’re just tired of having to be our own advocates all the time. You must stand in for us when we cannot stand for ourselves, hold the line when we are failing, and be willing to take on just a small bit of the risk we take in living our authentic selves every day. Love only wins if we fight for it."
"Our hope sits in the complicated, complex stories of who we are, as queer people, as parents, siblings, family, friends, strangers, lovers. When we remember who we are, we have hope."
September 4, 2023
My first DNF this year. The author tries to position their coming out and understanding of queer + trans topics as a universal standard for all who fall under those umbrellas. They self-proclaim their book to be an anthem for an entire complex community full of intersectionality not shared by the author, who is a white academic.
If this book was empowering for the author to write, that’s great. Maybe it could have stayed in a personal journal until the whole concept was reflected on and edited a bit more.
If this book was empowering for the author to write, that’s great. Maybe it could have stayed in a personal journal until the whole concept was reflected on and edited a bit more.
July 31, 2022
I first came across Dianna Anderson’s writing on Twitter; back then, I was just excited to come across someone from the upper Great Plains deconstructing evangelical Christianity and purity culture. I recently found out they had written a book on non-binary gender identities and their own personal journey in this space and grabbed it off Hoopla.
I’m delighted to say this was a pleasure to read (or in my case, listen to). While some of the early chapters are a little dense at points with theory and history, Anderson is an adept translator who makes nearly every point highly accessible. This book was educational, enlightening, and affirming in turns. I knew I had a lot to learn in this space and took away so much from Anderson’s work. If you want to learn more about non-binary identities, gender, and how we can create a more “gender expansive” mentality that makes room for all of us, this is a great place to start.
I’m delighted to say this was a pleasure to read (or in my case, listen to). While some of the early chapters are a little dense at points with theory and history, Anderson is an adept translator who makes nearly every point highly accessible. This book was educational, enlightening, and affirming in turns. I knew I had a lot to learn in this space and took away so much from Anderson’s work. If you want to learn more about non-binary identities, gender, and how we can create a more “gender expansive” mentality that makes room for all of us, this is a great place to start.
September 22, 2022
DNFed at around 46%. I love reading nonfiction about gender and/or queer identities so I was so excited to get an eARC via edelweiss. However I just could not get into this. It felt messy, disorganised and stressful to read. It was just random memories with little bearing on gender identity being thrown together with the occasional but of worthy insight. Just kinda disappointing really.
November 22, 2022
This book was a real surprise and a real treat. Dianna Anderson is an excellent writer. The book is part memoir, but mostly goes into the history of gender identity and analyzes what certain terms mean and the different ways that people can be trans and/or nonbinary. A lot of the book has to do with the author's own questions about what it means for them to be non-binary, whether being non-binary inherently means someone is trans, and how non-binary people have been overlooked or rejected by certain movements in the LGBTQ spectrum. They tie in racism, fatphobia, and religion, and I enjoyed their analysis of all these topics very much.
In particular, they're the only author I've seen mention Kitty Genovese's sexuality and how that gets left out of the story of how she was stabbed and left for dead, and how many of the people in the neighborhood feared calling the cops because they were themselves queer and homosexuality was criminalized at the time. This reminded me of Rebecca Solnit's book, "the Mother of All Questions," which I read recently, because Solnit brought up Kitty Genovese's murder but only mentioned how she was a victim of violence against women perpetrated by men, which feels really simplistic now that I've read this more detailed, deeper account.
Anderson is an important voice in this movement, as an outspoken, highly-educated, queer, non-binary Christian, which is an unusual combination but very important since Christianity is still a huge force in our society. They are also an incredible writer, and I particularly enjoyed this book for making me think more deeply about gender and for making some of the terms and history of gender identity more accessible to me. I definitely recommend this book for all sexualities and genders.
In particular, they're the only author I've seen mention Kitty Genovese's sexuality and how that gets left out of the story of how she was stabbed and left for dead, and how many of the people in the neighborhood feared calling the cops because they were themselves queer and homosexuality was criminalized at the time. This reminded me of Rebecca Solnit's book, "the Mother of All Questions," which I read recently, because Solnit brought up Kitty Genovese's murder but only mentioned how she was a victim of violence against women perpetrated by men, which feels really simplistic now that I've read this more detailed, deeper account.
Anderson is an important voice in this movement, as an outspoken, highly-educated, queer, non-binary Christian, which is an unusual combination but very important since Christianity is still a huge force in our society. They are also an incredible writer, and I particularly enjoyed this book for making me think more deeply about gender and for making some of the terms and history of gender identity more accessible to me. I definitely recommend this book for all sexualities and genders.
May 16, 2023
Excellent book!! We're reading this om our book club for our DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) committee. Though I would have chosen to read it any way, I finished it sooner due to the book club venue, and out discussions about have been rich.
I appreciate that the author read their own book, though I found their voice took time to adjust to listening to it. Strong nasal intonation. Not terrible. And the writing is so good that it well over-compensated, but I wonder how my feelings about the book may have been different without the narration.
Despite my need to adjust, I think Dianna's choice to read their own book was the right one. Given the confessional nature of much of the text, having Dianna narrate their own experience worked much better than having another narrator read the book.
My favorite part is the section on how cis-people should explain and validate their identity as trans and non-binary people are often asked to do. Every cis-person needs to read that part in particular.
I appreciate that the author read their own book, though I found their voice took time to adjust to listening to it. Strong nasal intonation. Not terrible. And the writing is so good that it well over-compensated, but I wonder how my feelings about the book may have been different without the narration.
Despite my need to adjust, I think Dianna's choice to read their own book was the right one. Given the confessional nature of much of the text, having Dianna narrate their own experience worked much better than having another narrator read the book.
My favorite part is the section on how cis-people should explain and validate their identity as trans and non-binary people are often asked to do. Every cis-person needs to read that part in particular.
March 3, 2023
Dans cet essai, Dianna E. Anderson réfléchit à la place de la non-binarité dans notre société, pleines de discours anti-trans, chargés d'essentialisme et de dichotomies tranchées sans fluidité. L'essai prend la forme à la fois d'un mémoire personnel, chaque début de chapitre commence par une anecdote personnel, un partage d'expérience, de vécu ou de mémoire pour élargir l'enjeu vers une réflexion plus globale. Que ce soit pour toucher à l'histoire trans et non-binaire, au besoin de communauté, à critiquer les personnes anti-trans et non-binaires et leurs discours qui touche plus à la haine et aux théories complotistes qu'à la raison. Tout cela, son éducation très religieuse et conservatrice, la découverte de familles étendues, de remises en question, de changements et de transition de Dianna ou de ses ami·es proches, touchent à l'importance de pouvoir faire communauté, s'y retrouver et pouvoir avoir la possibilité de voir au-delà d'un discours unique.
Bien que les personnes non-binaire vétéranes n'apprendront peut-être autant qu'illes auraient voulu, ça peut être un essai d'introduction très accessible pour des personnes qui se questionnent, qui ont dû mal à comprendre la non-binarité, pour des ami·es de personnes non-binaires, de la famille. Bref, c'est un essai qui vise un large lectorat et arrive quand même à saupoudrer un peu de théorie et de noms intéressants pour poursuivre ses lectures.
Bien que les personnes non-binaire vétéranes n'apprendront peut-être autant qu'illes auraient voulu, ça peut être un essai d'introduction très accessible pour des personnes qui se questionnent, qui ont dû mal à comprendre la non-binarité, pour des ami·es de personnes non-binaires, de la famille. Bref, c'est un essai qui vise un large lectorat et arrive quand même à saupoudrer un peu de théorie et de noms intéressants pour poursuivre ses lectures.
August 16, 2025
i think this is the first queer theory book i've read that i actively disliked. i am a genderfluid transportation planner who lives in minneapolis and grew up to conservative parents in sioux falls, so i became super excited when i found a signed copy of this book at a local indie, but that excitement quickly waned as i actually read it.
Things I Liked
1. the beginning of the book (especially chapter 1) does as good a job as i've seen of describing pretty abstract philosophies of queerness and queer history in a way that can be understood by non-academics, which is not an easy task.
2. chapter 7 is a genuinely insightful discussion on the connections between fatness and gender presentation that isn't discussed nearly often enough. this was the only point in the book at which i thought the author's heavy use of anecdotes was helpful (probably because it's the only time in the book they're speaking from a position of intersectional oppression)
My Main Issues
1. the book can't decide what it wants to be. it can't decide if it wants to be aimed at cis people or at newly questioning nonbinary people, and it also can't decide if it wants to be a memoir or an informational text.
a) the book starts off with a bunch of dense philosophy clearly meant to hook people who already think about queer theory on a regular basis, and at several points the author nudges the assumed-queer reader to take heart in their personal story. but then, for example, all of chapter 9 is explicitly a list of actions cis people can take to become better allies. (it's truly baffling that they put this chapter near the end of the book; if you're an ally who's already read that far, you probably don't need to be told any of it, and if you're a genderqueer person, there's likely nothing in the chapter for you at all.)
b) nearly every chapter begins with a long personal anecdote from the author's past, which they then attempt to tie to some broader queer theory point either directly or through metaphor, but these theories cover entire queer communities to which the anecdotes are not always relevant.
2. the anecdote-heavy nature of the book makes it feel like a casual conversation, which evidently makes the author comfortable with stating things they (and presumably the audience) understand to be true without substantiating it. in chapter 7, they state that "members of the trans and gender-expansive community are more likely to experience disordered eating: somewhere around three in four of us have either had a disorder or currently have one" with no citation. that's a really bold claim and my wife and i couldn't find what they were referring to here at all. and then in the very next sentence they include a quote from a friend in a personal interview and bafflingly add a footnote to "personal interview" despite also stating as much in the text. in chapter 8, they state that "studies have since proved that a person is more likely to deny the controlling image about a marginalized population if they have someone in their life from that particular group." no citation. you don't just need to cite quotations, dex; you need to substantiate claims you're making in the text. you're an academic and you should know this.
3. the entirety of chapter 8 is nonsense. the author at once tries to claim that labels are intrinsically unstable because they are bound to be co-opted by those outside the group, that it's important that queer people reclaim these labels because we need to be the ones telling our own stories, and then that actually all of the labels are meaningless and we should instead consider the "gender-expansive" community, which "in the broadest sense [includes] everyone", even people whose identity is 100% cis. they try to tie it in to the words "shade" and "vogue" being stolen from ballroom culture, which isn't the same thing at all. they state that "we've never really had a chance to sit and think about labels because our community has, by and large, just been concentrating on survival." literally what? the 2SLGBTQIAA+ community with flags and insignia for every identity under the sun hasn't had the chance to think about labels?
4. the author does not appear to have a good grasp on race. while i do think chapter 7 (the one on fatness) is the best one in the book, the author does not seem to understand that a lot of the oppression that comes from fatphobia originally derived from racism. the author gestures toward concepts of two-spirit identity without more than a basic explanation of its origin. in chapter 10, in retelling the murder of kitty genovese, the author unnecessarily includes the information that her murderer was Black. i'm not saying you need to be an expert on race relations to write about queer theory, but you should at least have a better understanding of intersectionality.
5. all of the above kind of comes down to the fact that nobody involved with the book is a subject matter expert. the author was new to understanding their own nonbinary identity and hadn't even publicly come out yet when they started outlining the book (they admit as much in chapter 9). in the acknowledgements, they note that both their agent and their editor were "working with an experience distinctly outside their own". again, that'd all be fine if this book was just a personal memoir, but it isn't presented that way. it's presented like the author is an authority on gender theory as a whole, and they simply aren't.
Things I Liked
1. the beginning of the book (especially chapter 1) does as good a job as i've seen of describing pretty abstract philosophies of queerness and queer history in a way that can be understood by non-academics, which is not an easy task.
2. chapter 7 is a genuinely insightful discussion on the connections between fatness and gender presentation that isn't discussed nearly often enough. this was the only point in the book at which i thought the author's heavy use of anecdotes was helpful (probably because it's the only time in the book they're speaking from a position of intersectional oppression)
My Main Issues
1. the book can't decide what it wants to be. it can't decide if it wants to be aimed at cis people or at newly questioning nonbinary people, and it also can't decide if it wants to be a memoir or an informational text.
a) the book starts off with a bunch of dense philosophy clearly meant to hook people who already think about queer theory on a regular basis, and at several points the author nudges the assumed-queer reader to take heart in their personal story. but then, for example, all of chapter 9 is explicitly a list of actions cis people can take to become better allies. (it's truly baffling that they put this chapter near the end of the book; if you're an ally who's already read that far, you probably don't need to be told any of it, and if you're a genderqueer person, there's likely nothing in the chapter for you at all.)
b) nearly every chapter begins with a long personal anecdote from the author's past, which they then attempt to tie to some broader queer theory point either directly or through metaphor, but these theories cover entire queer communities to which the anecdotes are not always relevant.
2. the anecdote-heavy nature of the book makes it feel like a casual conversation, which evidently makes the author comfortable with stating things they (and presumably the audience) understand to be true without substantiating it. in chapter 7, they state that "members of the trans and gender-expansive community are more likely to experience disordered eating: somewhere around three in four of us have either had a disorder or currently have one" with no citation. that's a really bold claim and my wife and i couldn't find what they were referring to here at all. and then in the very next sentence they include a quote from a friend in a personal interview and bafflingly add a footnote to "personal interview" despite also stating as much in the text. in chapter 8, they state that "studies have since proved that a person is more likely to deny the controlling image about a marginalized population if they have someone in their life from that particular group." no citation. you don't just need to cite quotations, dex; you need to substantiate claims you're making in the text. you're an academic and you should know this.
3. the entirety of chapter 8 is nonsense. the author at once tries to claim that labels are intrinsically unstable because they are bound to be co-opted by those outside the group, that it's important that queer people reclaim these labels because we need to be the ones telling our own stories, and then that actually all of the labels are meaningless and we should instead consider the "gender-expansive" community, which "in the broadest sense [includes] everyone", even people whose identity is 100% cis. they try to tie it in to the words "shade" and "vogue" being stolen from ballroom culture, which isn't the same thing at all. they state that "we've never really had a chance to sit and think about labels because our community has, by and large, just been concentrating on survival." literally what? the 2SLGBTQIAA+ community with flags and insignia for every identity under the sun hasn't had the chance to think about labels?
4. the author does not appear to have a good grasp on race. while i do think chapter 7 (the one on fatness) is the best one in the book, the author does not seem to understand that a lot of the oppression that comes from fatphobia originally derived from racism. the author gestures toward concepts of two-spirit identity without more than a basic explanation of its origin. in chapter 10, in retelling the murder of kitty genovese, the author unnecessarily includes the information that her murderer was Black. i'm not saying you need to be an expert on race relations to write about queer theory, but you should at least have a better understanding of intersectionality.
5. all of the above kind of comes down to the fact that nobody involved with the book is a subject matter expert. the author was new to understanding their own nonbinary identity and hadn't even publicly come out yet when they started outlining the book (they admit as much in chapter 9). in the acknowledgements, they note that both their agent and their editor were "working with an experience distinctly outside their own". again, that'd all be fine if this book was just a personal memoir, but it isn't presented that way. it's presented like the author is an authority on gender theory as a whole, and they simply aren't.
July 12, 2025
As a lover of memoirs, academics, and history, I was hoping this book would challenge my perceptions and deepen my appreciations. Instead here is an inexperienced author and a life in which nothing ever happens, and the only comparison drawn is that gender fluidity is like living in Minnesota and the UK.
Read
November 6, 2022Hmm, I am not quite sure who the target audience for this book is. Perhaps the newly out, on the verge of coming out, and/or their loved ones?
February 27, 2023
Very solid addition to the growing body of work on gender nonconformity and a highly recommended read for anyone interested in understanding the non-binary identity, as well as the supposed "trans umbrella" that exists within the current queer movement.
This collection of chapters, each examining various aspects of the ongoing conversation on gender nonconforming identities, was a welcome amalgamation of memoir, theory, history, and personal opinion.
Anderson reaches into the depths of American culture to excavate the reasoning behind our seemingly collective resistance to gender nonconformity and the lack of visibility for non-binary/genderqueer/gender fuck/*whatever other name has historically been used to describe those with liminal gender identities* individuals, ultimately posing the argument that cis-normativity:
A) is a response to a hierarchical society that demands gender conformity for power consolidation.
B) creates our modern legal system's demand for a coherent "legal subject."
C) is part of the subconscious oppressor wrestling move called "collective image" (or something like that), wherein inherent traits are projected upon a population/gender/race to control that population/justify certain social systems. (i.e. "women are less intelligent than men", therefore women should not be included in the construction of society outside of the home or "black people are lazy", therefore poverty is their fault and not related in any way to a systemically racist capitalist society.) Gender non-conforming individuals threaten smooth categorization, thus threaten the concept of a collective image.
D) has created a divide within the supposed "trans umbrella" (I use supposed and quotes here because Anderson argues that there needs to exist more complexity within the queer movement's understanding of gender and that considering all gender non-conforming people as "trans" creates an unrealistic picture of that population.)
E) so complex, yet so simple. Read the book!!
Anderson is a particularly interesting author, hailing from a deeply religious Christian background and living the beginning of their life as a straight woman interested in becoming a minister before coming out as lesbian and nonbinary. This background skews the presentation of information to include more introspection on Christian philosophies, but makes for a fascinating (and, in my opinion, necessary) blueberry smoothie blend of theology and queer/gender theory.
Some reviewers critiqued the disjointed quality of the book, but I wasn't bothered by the lack of direction; rather, I found that the randomness of the chapters and the sporadic inclusion of theorists and philosophers made for a quality *thinking* experience (if not a cohesive reading experience lol.)
My girlfriend, on the other hand, found this to be an inaccessibly written and heavily academic piece without much insight, guidance, or recognition for the non-binary individual; they DNF'ed it pretty early on for this reason. (I did not mind the academic nature; I kind of like when an author assumes I'm a genius, lmao. That's how I learn ridiculous words like "amalgamation.")
Overall, good stuff here. I don't agree with all of Anderson's assertions about gender, but found this to be a great think piece rich with historical and philosophical gems.
This collection of chapters, each examining various aspects of the ongoing conversation on gender nonconforming identities, was a welcome amalgamation of memoir, theory, history, and personal opinion.
Anderson reaches into the depths of American culture to excavate the reasoning behind our seemingly collective resistance to gender nonconformity and the lack of visibility for non-binary/genderqueer/gender fuck/*whatever other name has historically been used to describe those with liminal gender identities* individuals, ultimately posing the argument that cis-normativity:
A) is a response to a hierarchical society that demands gender conformity for power consolidation.
B) creates our modern legal system's demand for a coherent "legal subject."
C) is part of the subconscious oppressor wrestling move called "collective image" (or something like that), wherein inherent traits are projected upon a population/gender/race to control that population/justify certain social systems. (i.e. "women are less intelligent than men", therefore women should not be included in the construction of society outside of the home or "black people are lazy", therefore poverty is their fault and not related in any way to a systemically racist capitalist society.) Gender non-conforming individuals threaten smooth categorization, thus threaten the concept of a collective image.
D) has created a divide within the supposed "trans umbrella" (I use supposed and quotes here because Anderson argues that there needs to exist more complexity within the queer movement's understanding of gender and that considering all gender non-conforming people as "trans" creates an unrealistic picture of that population.)
E) so complex, yet so simple. Read the book!!
Anderson is a particularly interesting author, hailing from a deeply religious Christian background and living the beginning of their life as a straight woman interested in becoming a minister before coming out as lesbian and nonbinary. This background skews the presentation of information to include more introspection on Christian philosophies, but makes for a fascinating (and, in my opinion, necessary) blueberry smoothie blend of theology and queer/gender theory.
Some reviewers critiqued the disjointed quality of the book, but I wasn't bothered by the lack of direction; rather, I found that the randomness of the chapters and the sporadic inclusion of theorists and philosophers made for a quality *thinking* experience (if not a cohesive reading experience lol.)
My girlfriend, on the other hand, found this to be an inaccessibly written and heavily academic piece without much insight, guidance, or recognition for the non-binary individual; they DNF'ed it pretty early on for this reason. (I did not mind the academic nature; I kind of like when an author assumes I'm a genius, lmao. That's how I learn ridiculous words like "amalgamation.")
Overall, good stuff here. I don't agree with all of Anderson's assertions about gender, but found this to be a great think piece rich with historical and philosophical gems.
July 4, 2025
I did lose steam on this one a bit, but definitely recommend. While some points were a bit redundant, it did cover a range of topics: language, philosophy, history, personal experience, & intersectionality. Solid read. Lots of quotes to share and I’m not sorry.
“We have rules about how we use language around gender. We are brought up being conditioned into these rules and learn how to perform to meet the strictures of those rules by repeated habit of practice. Identity-particularly gender… is instead the continued, habitual practice of following the rules of our society set up for genders.”
“To properly and accurately discuss trans identity and trans formation, one must understand that it includes a history of being erased, excluded, and violently removed from history. Trans people have always existed.”
“By the time the early 2000s rolled around, gay people had largely won the argument that they were not a medical anomaly but rather a community with a shared identity. Trans people were and still are fighting this fight.”
“By removing myself from the category of "woman" I am, in many ways, removing myself from the ongoing policing of female bodies that occurs day in, day out.”‼️
“What gives you the power and authority to do this [labeling]?" Should we not recognize our own position as able to label ourselves, to decide who and what we are, in a radical reclamation of our position, of no longer just getting through, but instead owning ourselves, our labels, our hopes, and our desires?”
“Looking down at my body gave me joy, not consternation, for once in my life. … This, too, is the gender experience: the joy you feel when you finally look down at yourself and see who you've wanted to be this whole time.”
“We have rules about how we use language around gender. We are brought up being conditioned into these rules and learn how to perform to meet the strictures of those rules by repeated habit of practice. Identity-particularly gender… is instead the continued, habitual practice of following the rules of our society set up for genders.”
“To properly and accurately discuss trans identity and trans formation, one must understand that it includes a history of being erased, excluded, and violently removed from history. Trans people have always existed.”
“By the time the early 2000s rolled around, gay people had largely won the argument that they were not a medical anomaly but rather a community with a shared identity. Trans people were and still are fighting this fight.”
“By removing myself from the category of "woman" I am, in many ways, removing myself from the ongoing policing of female bodies that occurs day in, day out.”‼️
“What gives you the power and authority to do this [labeling]?" Should we not recognize our own position as able to label ourselves, to decide who and what we are, in a radical reclamation of our position, of no longer just getting through, but instead owning ourselves, our labels, our hopes, and our desires?”
“Looking down at my body gave me joy, not consternation, for once in my life. … This, too, is the gender experience: the joy you feel when you finally look down at yourself and see who you've wanted to be this whole time.”
March 7, 2025
"No one can determine for you who you are." -Dex Anderson, In Transit
As someone quietly investigating their own gender identity, this has been an absolutely pivotal book for me to read. I really appreciated the anecdotes, and relate a lot to the author's experiences as an ex-vangelical as well as their experiences as a nonbinary person. I liked that this book included some information about gender theory, but it was pretty basic and accessible, for someone who has very limited experience with the subject. There were parts of the history and theory that confused me a bit, but I'm attributing that to me, rather than to the author.
That being said, this book is very white academic, as other reviewers have pointed out. I understand this is part-memoir, so of course a white academic is going to write from a white academic perspective, but you're still very aware of it while reading.
Overall, this was a great read for me, and for where I am in my gender identity journey. Definitely enjoyed and recommend it.
As someone quietly investigating their own gender identity, this has been an absolutely pivotal book for me to read. I really appreciated the anecdotes, and relate a lot to the author's experiences as an ex-vangelical as well as their experiences as a nonbinary person. I liked that this book included some information about gender theory, but it was pretty basic and accessible, for someone who has very limited experience with the subject. There were parts of the history and theory that confused me a bit, but I'm attributing that to me, rather than to the author.
That being said, this book is very white academic, as other reviewers have pointed out. I understand this is part-memoir, so of course a white academic is going to write from a white academic perspective, but you're still very aware of it while reading.
Overall, this was a great read for me, and for where I am in my gender identity journey. Definitely enjoyed and recommend it.
August 16, 2023
Great overview on trans/non-binary history, accessible to even those not super familiar with queer theorists. I would recommend this book to non-binary people looking for some affirmation and maybe some different perspectives on what it means to be non-binary/what being non binary can look like. I would also recommend it for cis people who are looking to be a better ally to their non-binary and trans friends.
December 24, 2022
Conmovedor y esclarecedor. El cruce de fat theory, religious theory, gender theory para explicar la experiencia (y diferencia) de ser trans vs persona no binaria, ¡muy bueno!
January 16, 2023
When we remember who we are, we have hope.
Trans lives are often characterized by the violence they experience. Death shouldn't be their primary story, and in this book, it isn't.
Trans lives are often characterized by the violence they experience. Death shouldn't be their primary story, and in this book, it isn't.
January 19, 2024
everything.
January 30, 2023
DNF. Let me begin by saying I identify as non-binary person. However, I struggled to connect with this on some levels.
The author’s summary of gender and feminist theory was difficult for me to follow at times, and it sort of felt like they were jamming it into a small space to make room for their personal story. I wanted to focus on the author’s personal journey and learn how that might help me as a non-binary person.
Maybe it hits social commentary mark, but frankly, I didn’t find the political jabs, references to tweets, and general wokeness helpful. If they were preaching to the choir, I wasn’t interested in those tactics.
It appears that this book attempts to merge memoir with gender theory and social commentary and doesn’t really end up hitting any of those marks for me. I think the book lacks cohesiveness and a unifying arc. Meandering is fine, but I need to feel a forward motion at some point. Maybe momentum was gained at some point, but I was turned off before then. I quit after the “Finding a Home” chapter, wondering what sexual inversion theory and Foucault had to do with the author moving to a liberal city.
Still, giving this three stars for the noble effort of a non-binary author trying to share their experience and maybe help others understand it.
The author’s summary of gender and feminist theory was difficult for me to follow at times, and it sort of felt like they were jamming it into a small space to make room for their personal story. I wanted to focus on the author’s personal journey and learn how that might help me as a non-binary person.
Maybe it hits social commentary mark, but frankly, I didn’t find the political jabs, references to tweets, and general wokeness helpful. If they were preaching to the choir, I wasn’t interested in those tactics.
It appears that this book attempts to merge memoir with gender theory and social commentary and doesn’t really end up hitting any of those marks for me. I think the book lacks cohesiveness and a unifying arc. Meandering is fine, but I need to feel a forward motion at some point. Maybe momentum was gained at some point, but I was turned off before then. I quit after the “Finding a Home” chapter, wondering what sexual inversion theory and Foucault had to do with the author moving to a liberal city.
Still, giving this three stars for the noble effort of a non-binary author trying to share their experience and maybe help others understand it.
Read
May 19, 2023This does a decent job in places of summarizing a lot of queer theory and gender theory, but the bulk of this book is personal anecdotes. And personal choices/feelings about gender and trans ideas. It portrays a fairly limited view of a journey from AFAB to queer masculinity. It's also a very white book. It, as I said, does cover the academic well, and certainly the anecdotes might capture some sense of relatability for younger readers. But as an Old (nonbinary) Queer, who has been out for most of the time the author has been alive, and who has read theory and history extensively, it's hard not to see this as more of a vanity memoir than a useful guide to anything. And as someone raised in more permissive time, in an urban location, the white suburban evangelical to out queer story didn't speak to me at all. And that lens on everything really narrowed the content of this book (hence it being very white). Ultimately this read more like a newbie excited to share what they are learning and not at all like a thoughtful academic view, nor anything resembling real lived experience being truly reflected on with understanding.
November 2, 2024
I've followed Dex Anderson since we were both evangelical Christians; years later, we've both deconstructed and come out as queer. It's such an honor to join them in community now as people who believe in the beauty of a gender-expansive future.
Because Anderson is very intelligent, the beginning of this book started out more academic than I expected. But with some additional focus and rereading, I learned a lot about queer and trans history.
My favorite parts of the book are when they start to weave in their story as a way to show the reader more about their nonbinary experience. This book is hopeful and gives the reader a sense of joy.
"Whether this book confirmed for you who you are or made you think about who you possibly could be, I want you to keep moving forward into the future with the confidence that even if you don't yet know, you are on your way. No one can determine for you who you are. It is yours to determine, yours to decide, and yours to become."
Because Anderson is very intelligent, the beginning of this book started out more academic than I expected. But with some additional focus and rereading, I learned a lot about queer and trans history.
My favorite parts of the book are when they start to weave in their story as a way to show the reader more about their nonbinary experience. This book is hopeful and gives the reader a sense of joy.
"Whether this book confirmed for you who you are or made you think about who you possibly could be, I want you to keep moving forward into the future with the confidence that even if you don't yet know, you are on your way. No one can determine for you who you are. It is yours to determine, yours to decide, and yours to become."
August 7, 2023
I listened to this as an audiobook and feel like it is worth going back and reading with a highlighter. While much seems to be missing it is magical the ways in which the author does expand on info that other similar books have not. Just like any book closely intertwined with identity I found myself nodding along and then swinging to where the author lost me. I enjoyed a bit of the look back in history but it felt too much like SEE we've been here all along. While so many need this I find myself constantly bitter with an obviously disgusted exhalation of "duh, you ignorant dumb shits". I don't need historical proof for my identity as an individual; but it is nice to see the small periods in history where genderfuckery was welcomed as a 'here, see, we can all live in a Star Trek utopia if you stop being puppets to individuals who pull strings for THEIR own benefit'. So, as you can see it brought up lots of feelings.
Read
April 24, 2023Honestly this book feels a little below where I'm at at this point, like there's clearly whole chunks written for a non-trans audience and the beginning gets really bogged down in defining transness which I don't think is super productive, but outside of that I found it pretty interesting. I might try and get my parents to read it actually, I think they'd benefit more than I have from it. If you're experienced with trans/nonbinary theory or really if you are trans and have engaged with what that means, you won't get a ton out of it, but if you're a cis person or are early on in figuring out your identity In Transit would probably be really interesting for you. The middle parts of the book, addressing queer joy in a queerphobic world and the relationship of fatness to gender were the most interesting to me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews