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138 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2021
'Languages change, disappear, reappear, and live on thanks to the principle of inclusivity, and die thanks to the principle of exclusivity. The language of literature tomorrow may be general and visual, new hieroglyphs, a more sophisticated or even simpler language of emoticons, a surprising combination of images and text. I continue to write in Croatian, not because I feel that my native language is the only valid language for literature. I found myself living abroad at an age when my cohort was making plans for retirement, and it was too late for me to start writing in another language. In short, I feel not “lost” but “liberated” in translation.'
'I experience the English versions of my essays as the most mine. What sent a colleague of mine back to the homeland was the moment when he realized he was relying on the English translation of his text more than on the text as he had written it in his native language. And this is the same thing that keeps me in exile and doesn’t allow me to return to my so-called homeland. Exile has meanwhile become my domicile. My language and I—we haven’t changed. And it’s not that I fled into exile but that my former cultural community returned from its “coerced” political exile, from the “dungeon of peoples,” from the “language dungeon,” to its “primordial” homeland of Croatia. My former cultural community and I became irreversibly incompatible at many levels. All my nostalgia is gone, all my feeling for it is gone, there is barely anything left. Memory has been reduced to phantom pain, to wounds that are deeper at home. The inner pressure to remain on one’s home turf, as well as the very idea of Croatian patriotism, are definitely, for me, socially pathological phenomena. Many will say I am criminalizing the idea of patriotism. Patriotism is, in practice, most often a criminal enterprise. Anyone who can convince me otherwise is welcome to try.'
'While we’re on the subject of language, does it seem as if we in the former Yugo-countries perceive language as an ideological tool and vital national substance?
This is definitely the most comic and tragic part of the whole suicidal story. To carve up a language into four because there were suddenly four separate states is an incredible instance of political and cultural violence. (And the official languages of North Macedonia and Slovenia are, respectively, Macedonian and Slovenian, while Albanian is the official language of Kosovo.) This violence was effectuated by cordons of ethnic police, institutions, schools, university departments, ministries of culture. Most of the writers have adapted to this ethnic concept of culture, and these who oppose the anti-intellectual praxis have been branded enemies of the people.'
'We are all of us affected by a hysterical drive to leave traces of our personal existence on the planet Earth. This narcissistic hysteria is evaluated as a positive, as success, and, in the realm of literature, as artistic success. However, the Booker Prize has not appeased the anxiety of the successee, because in success the Booker has been far outstripped by the producer of little bottles filled with one’s individual farts. Everyone has the right to leave their trace. Everyone is able to leave their trace. Traces draw attention to the fact that we exist, that we will not be erased. Therefore all evaluation is pointless, because the producer of fart jars and the author of a novel that has been awarded the Booker Prize end up equally forgotten. They will be pushed aside by a flood of new creative people, influencers, visual artists, writers, actresses selling candles perfumed with the scent of their own vaginas. They are all seeking, in a frenzy, the best possible way to leave a trace of their existence. Whence this fear of erasure, the possible disappearance of civilization? As far as literature is concerned, this fear has found its home in the genre that will be their salvation.'
'This may sound psychedelic, but it is the way you perceive things at first in exile, regardless of whether you have or haven’t traveled before. Exile is a sort of contemplative snare, where your old convictions melt away, the stereotypes you grew up with and absorbed are deconstructed. Suddenly you measure, weigh, calibrate, what was before, what is now, and whether this “now” of yours has been your free choice or was coerced. The meaning of the concepts we have grown up with gradually shifts—home, country, family, friendship, love, language, morals, education, history, identity, myself … Concepts peel off of us like scabs from healing wounds. And the “magical” thing, the dictionary, continues to unsettle us. Exile is a process, and until the moment comes when we realize there can be no return, our exile continues to feel like a choice. The country where we were born was not our choice; we could have been born somewhere else. The process of growing up culminates with the realization that we are responsible for the choices we make.
At one moment we realize that our position is not unique, as we’d first thought. We are an individual functioning within a vast cultural text, which begins (depending, of course, on what you treat as the beginning) with the banishing of Adam and Eve from paradise. All that follows depends on interpretation. Was this paradise truly a paradise? Are Adam and Eve asylum seekers or exiles? Is there any difference? If they are banished from paradise because of the apple from the tree of wisdom does this mean that the place they found themselves in afterward is hell? Or vice versa? In the cultural text of exile we gradually discover the way complicated schemes work.'
'Witches were burned at the stake from the twelfth to the seventeenth centuries in Europe. The Church has never felt moved to apologize for the systematic murder of women, for the massive carnage it has committed, for their femicide, unparalleled in world history. Of course femicide is not only a religious historical and symbolic specialty. Every year approximately 800,000 people are victims of one of the fastest growing businesses in the world ($32 billion dollars annually)—human trafficking. Eighty percent of the victims are women, of whom more than 50% are not yet adults. Have the state institutions (and the Church) found a way to stop this form of femicide? It still doesn’t occur to god-fearing Adam to blame his “father” for all these crimes. Adam continues to vent his frustrations on Eve. The supposed 7% of atheists the world over cannot disperse this intoxicating, self-satisfying, authoritarian fog of religion all by themselves. The institution of religion—which is certainly the most enduring autocratic system we know—has been going on for two millennia, but, surprisingly, very few seem to think of it as autocratic.'
Everyone has the right to leave their trace. Traces draw attention to the fact that we exist, that we will not be erased.