What We Give, What We Take

by Randi Triant

In 1967, Fay Stonewell, a water tank escape artist in Florida, leaves for Vietnam to join the Amazing Humans—a jerry-rigged carnival there to entertain the troops—abandoning her disabled teenage son, Dickie, to the care of an abusive boyfriend.

Months after Fay’s departure, Dickie’s troubled home life ends in a surprising act of violence that forces him to run away. He soon lands in Manhattan, where he’s taken in by eccentric artist Laurence Jones. Fay, meanwhile, is also facing dangerous threats. From the night her plane jolts onto a darkened Saigon runway, she is forced to confront every bad decision she’s ever made as she struggles to return to her son. But the Humans owner is hell-bent on keeping her in Vietnam, performing only for war-injured children at a hospital, daily reminders of the son she’s left behind.

Decades later, Dickie is forty, living in a Massachusetts coastal town with a man who’s dying of AIDS, and doing everything he can to escape his past. But although Spin may be giving Dickie what he’s always wanted—a home without wheels—it seems that the farther Dickie runs, the tighter the past clings to him.

Ultimately, What We Give, What We Take is a deeply moving story of second chances and rising above family circumstances, however dysfunctional they may be.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT

336 pages, Paperback

Published April 12, 2022

About the author

Randi Triant’s debut novel, The Treehouse, was selected as an ultimate summer read by AfterEllen in 2018. Her short fiction and nonfiction have appeared in literary journals and magazines, including an anthology of writing about HIV/AIDS, Art & Understanding: Literature from the First Twenty Years of A & U and the anthology Fingernails Across the Blackboard: Poetry and Prose on HIV/AIDS from the Black Diaspora. She received her MFA in writing and literature from Bennington College. She has taught writing at Emerson College and Boston College.

Reviews

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up to 4

In 1967, Fay Stonewell, a water tank escape artist in Florida, leaves for Vietnam to join the amazing humans - a jerry-rigged carnival there to entertain the troops - abandoning her disabled teenage son, Dickie, to the care of an abusive boyfriend. Months after Fay's departure, Dickie's troubled homelife ends in a surprising act of violence that forces him to run away. Fay, meanwhile, is also facing dangerous threats. From the night her plane jolts onto a darkened Saigon runway, she is forced to confront every bad decision she's ever made as she struggles to return to her son.

This is a well written, gripping, heart-warming and heart-wrenching story. This is a character driven story that covers: abandonment, abuse - physical, verbal and substance, and trauma. The characters are well developed and believable. This is a well thought out storyline that has been beautifully executed. Fay has made many bad life choices. The pace is steady throughout. My only complaint is that I felt the ending was a bit rushed.

I would like to thank #NetGalley #SheWritesPress and the author #RandiTriant for my ARC of #WhatHeGivesWhatHeTakes in exchange for an honest review.

[Anna Avian · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you expect a feel-good novel about a mother's struggle to support and eventually happily reunite with her son you will be disappointed.
This is a story about a woman who's not only making a living as an escape artist but is trudging through life with the same attitude, making her disabled son the collateral damage of her own flaws, insecurities and mistakes.
The writing is very good, the characters well fleshed out. What I didn't like was the ending. After exploring so many themes of trauma, substance abuse, verbal and physical abuse, motherhood, loss, abandonment it just felt rushed and like it left too many of those issues unresolved.

I was able to read an advanced copy of this book thanks to NetGalley.

[Melissa (Nissa_the.bookworm) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to @booksparks for having me on this tour for What We Give, What We Take!

Wow. This book was nothing short of amazing, heartbreaking, and transformative, all wrapped into one.

Told in 3 parts from 2 POVs, we, the reader, follow along with Dickie and his mother Fay as they travel the country with the Amazing Humans. Fay has an underwater act, where she must escape her chains while plunged into a tank. Dickie, at the age of 2, contracted polio and has been unable to use his legs properly ever since. Now living in Key West, Florida with her boyfriend, Johnson, Fay is itching to reunite with the Amazing Humans. When she receives a letter from her best friend, Ginny, telling her to come to Vietnam for the exceptional money to be earned, Fay doesn’t hesitate. Leaving behind her only son, we’ll see how this one decision changes not only Dickie’s life, but Fay’s as well.

I have no words about this heartbreaking story except to read it. You won’t regret it. If you’re hoping for a story of redemption and forgiveness, this isn’t for you, but it’s still so important to see life from a different perspective. Sometimes we forget that life isn’t a fairytale and that fairytale endings are, realistically, few and far between. This is the heart wrenching story of the love a boy has for his mother that cannot be reciprocated.

What We Give, What We Take is now available wherever books are sold. Grab your copy today!

Read this if
💔 you want something gritty
🐶 you enjoy cheering for the underdog
🇻🇳 you enjoy history in your novels
👩‍👦 you like multiple POVs

[Women Using Words · Rating 5 out of 5]

What We Give, What We Take is an impressive piece of fiction. Heart wrenching at times and tender at others, this gripping narrative is unbelievably powerful and affecting. Readers find themselves a bit awestruck as they finish this masterful piece; the last lines rattle and reassure in equal measures.

This is the second book I’ve read by Triant. It seems she likes to unravel and examine the complicated relationships people share with one another, especially family. In A New Life she weaves a haunting story of sisterly bonds and deep connections—ones that even go beyond the grave. In What We Give, What We Take, she pens more of the same, only this time she focuses on the bond shared between mother and son.

This story is expertly crafted, first rate work in every way. The prose are poignant and compelling, leading readers through a well-plotted and planned emotional tale. What’s more, it showcases Triant’s ability to manipulate literary elements and story crafting like a pro. The symbolism, imagery, irony, character development, flashbacks, flash forwards—it all comes together to create one spectacular work of fiction.

What We Give, What We Take is a character driven story; the scenes are often moving and intense. Triant achieves this by utilizing shifting points of view, and it’s very impactive. Even though she uses a shifting point of view, she still manages to keep the story arc tight and focused. The narrative is often harrowing, but this is a “big picture” story, working to consistently drive home gorgeous themes. The result is something beyond captivating. It’s bewitching, signaling Triant’s skill at guiding readers through an absorbing tale.

Final remarks…

Seldom does fiction leave readers gutted like this novel does. This is a stunning work of fiction and I highly recommend it to anyone that enjoys full-range emotional journeys.

Strengths…

Well-written
Emotional
Heart wrenching
Masterfully developed
Impactive

[Lily Heron · Rating 1 out of 5]

Burdened by the guilt of allowing her son Dickie to succumb to polio as a child, carnival performer Fay abandons him with her abusive boyfriend to run off to Vietnam on a whim of raising money for better therapy/to escape the grind of her responsibilities, depending on how much leeway you want to give Fay. Ground down and humiliated, Dickie kills the boyfriend and runs away, only to find life isn't really better anywhere else.

My experience of reading What We Give, What We Take has left me feeling quite conflicted. Relentlessly bleak and depressing, it threw up a lot of unresolved emotions and is a difficult book to read. I don't know if I was meant to sympathise with Fay. I think I wasn't? Yet, I really did. She's very much a victim - of rape, exploitation, trafficking, arguably, having had her passport confiscated by her shady boss - but on the whole she's painted as a vindictive monster. I can't quite tell if the narrative agrees with the characters who consider her such, but I don't.

I felt the first Act, following fifteen-year-old Dickie until the boyfriend's death, was the strongest section of the book. I empathised deeply with him, and thought this section was incredibly well-written and heartfelt. Unfortunately, as the book went on, I felt less and less interested and engaged in the story, as it became clear things were just going to continue to be ruthlessly horrific for everyone, always. I guess I just don't enjoy utterly hopeless stories that relish twisting the knife with absolutely no mercy. Again, I come back to the fact I enjoy dark stories, as long as there's even a touch of hope or light to offer some reason to keep going through such suffering.

My rating is due to personally not liking the book, and not a reflection of the writing quality, which I think deserves at least 3*, but ultimately I was just left quite deflated and disheartened. Having been shelved in the LGBTQIA section of NetGalley, I was personally hoping for a little more exploration of queer representation during the course of the story, but I understand if this wasn't part of the author's vision. I would suggest reading with care, as this is a dark book that definitely has the potential to get under your skin.

I am grateful to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC of What We Give, What We Take. These opinions are my own.

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

ᏕᎮᏒᎥᏁᎶ ᎮᎧᎮ-ᏬᎮᏕ.🌷 Thank you to @booksparks and @randitriant for a gifted copy of 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞.

This is one of those stories that is subtle yet disquieting. It’s an example of what makes literary fiction so absorbing and leaves you thinking of its characters long after you’ve closed the book.

1967, Fay Stonewall is a water tank escape artist in Key West with a disabled teenage son, Dickie. Fay decides to up and leave Dickie with her abusive boyfriend so she can join up with a traveling carnival that is over in Vietnam, entertaining the troops. And just like that, she’s gone.

Dickie tries to fend for himself, even making a choice that causes him to flee up the East Coast and change his name. As the years pass, we follow Dickie (now Pete) as he is taken in by a strange artist and eventually as he lives with a man dying of AIDS. But Dickie’s past is continually haunting him.

While this story’s tone may be somber, the characters and symbolism are captivating. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘴; 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦?

An evocative blend of a coming-of-age story, a dysfunctional mother-son relationship while showcasing how the world takes advantage of those deemed misfits.

[Tisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The two main characters come to life the moment the story begins. I loved the structure of the narrative and the attention to detail and description. Whether you know a setting or not, you are transported. This was a page turner, and while I raced to the end I didn’t want it to end. And kept thinking about it for days afterwards. I’ve also been thinking a lot about maternal ambivalence as your children grow; the author captures this masterfully. Fay is nuanced and complex but it would have been easy to write her as a stereotype. This story tackles some very challenging subject matter in a compelling and compassionate way.

[Janine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t know how to feel about this book, but I do know that I liked it!

This is definitely not a feel-good story about mother and son. I desperately wanted a different ending, but I also thought the ending suited the book really well.

I thought the writing was beautiful and captivating, and I can honestly say I have never read a book like this one before. I kept having to take breaks because the darkness of the novel was sometimes so intense and I needed a breather! (And of course, I mean that in the best possible way.) But then once I hit about the halfway mark, I finished the rest in one day! I felt like so much happened at once and I wanted to see how it would all turn out.

Overall, this was an incredible story and I’m so glad that I was given the chance to read it.

[Sara Strand · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow- this would make a GREAT book club read, I can see discussions get spirited for sure. I flew through this one and it definitely isn't really a feel good book and end with a happy ending. It's complicated throughout, which is basically how life is, but I felt like I had to sit and process it afterwards before I could jump into my next book. If you are looking for a heavy, emotional read, this is your next read.

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars

I think the blurb for this book was a bit misleading, as I was expecting the journey before/during Fay’s trip to Vietnam to be a small portion of the novel, when it was over half. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but I wish it was portrayed a bit better.

Overall, this book was just a slow read. It took me until about 63% through it to really want to keep reading and not put it down. The novel was split into multiple sections, some told by Fay and some by Dickie. Dickie’s were written in first person, while Fay’s were written in third person, so there was always a switch to the writing throughout the parts.

The characters’ flaws are a main part of the book, and their work to overcome them. We were able to really see in the insides of Dickie’s and Fay’s minds, how their thoughts worked, and the little things that only they would notice.

Fay left Dickie with her abusive boyfriend to escape to Vietnam to perform at the carney, after taking off from the traveling carney for a year, because her friend, Ginny, had written to her and said it was great. Fay thought this could be a great way to get some money and help her and Dickie live their best lives. But Dickie is now 15 and in a trailer with a man who doesn’t want him, a man that hits him, and a man that tells him crying is for sissies. He survives while living there, but doesn’t thrive.

Fay is in Vietnam and realizes that it’s not all that she thought it would be; Ginny had lied. Chuck, the owner of the carney and her controlling ex-boyfriend, is there as well, signing her to a one year contract and holding her passport so she can’t get any ideas. She didn’t know she was performing for kids at a hospital, many with burn wounds or missing limbs, all leading her to remember her son that she left.

Ultimately, this book was a bit slow to start for me, and hard to get into. It was very interesting to see the two different timelines overlap within the different parts, as well as actually seeing a bit of what was happening in Vietnam, from a character’s perspective and her time in the country. I really wanted to love the characters, but it was hard when their flaws were a major plot point; but I didn’t need to love them to empathize with them. Another interesting aspect is seeing how the mother/son relationship dynamic works, and what we learn from our parents. Anyone who is interested in Vietnam and that timeframe, I think would really enjoy this book.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story starts in the late 60s/early 70s during the Vietnam era. Dickie’s mother Fay is a magician with a water tank escape act. Dickie contracted polio as a child. His mother drags him around from place to place until they move to Florida to stay with her verbal and physical abuse boyfriend, Johnson. He’s horrible to Dickie! Then Fay up and leaves Dickie with him! I knew this was going to happen from reading the synopsis but watching it happen was gut wrenching! Dickie runs away and meets Laurence Jones an artist and interesting man who also contracted a virus, AIDS. If you want a warm fuzzies, feel good story this isn’t it. Although it is fiction, it feels like real life. I looked it up several times to make sure this wasn’t a real story. The writing is so true that it feels real. For example, in the beginning of the book Fay tells Dickie, “Getting you better is 90 percent attitude, 10 percent luck” about him dealing with polio. Then later in the story, Fay repeats the words to herself when dealing with her own injuries. I almost choked thinking about those words coming back to haunt her. I did like the end even though it still left me a bit teary eyed. I mean this book deals with so many things: child abandonment, disability, abuse, LGBTQ, disfigurement, homelessness… This story was so interesting to me, it’s like a coming of age story in which people “come of age” again, and again, and again.

[Alden Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a tremendous, deeply felt novel that makes vivid a world lost to recent history and gives us a better understanding of the world we now inhabit. Randi Triant brings to life the era of AIDS and the world created around the war in Vietnam - who knew there was a whole entertainment industry at the periphery of the violence, including circus performers living out their lives, and making their livelihoods, in a place of war? (Perhaps other readers did, but having grown up after the war was over and learned of it mostly through film, I did not!) What We Give, What We Take examines choices made out of desperation, all with great heart and empathy. This world is just beyond our fingertips, but Triant brings it back for us in technicolor.

[kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

thanks to She Writes Press for providing an ARC of this book through netgalley.

This is a book you will either love or you won't and you will feel passionately about your reasoning.

This is a pretty deep read- lot of personal reflection that the characters go through. Spanning decades, we get to see the mother-son relationship of Fay and Dickie evolve and change, while exploring the outcomes of their decisions and how patterns can span generations.

[Alina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first thing that sticks out is the gorgeous, swirling prose. The second is the giant themes of this novel. An exploration on trauma, reinvention, and our flawed coping mechanisms. The prose floats us through delicately through Dickie gathering himself again, one lie, murder, and drug a time. Stunning.

[Elle Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

An emotional novel touching on the hardships of relationships of all kinds.

[Christine Destrempes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn’t put it down! In this powerfully evocative portrayal of heartbreak and dawning awareness, Triant’s finely crafted characters are spellbinding.

[Len · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too dark, too meandering, too filled with shallow and unexplained characters.
Just a no for me - even though I dragged my way through it.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was surprisingly well written, and I liked the unusual plot but also found it slow-moving.