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“We’ll need a bucket,” Gurd said, taking off his pants.

Karla never dreamt she’d meet an actual orc. Orcs don’t exist. They aren’t dangerous and powerful, with fists that might squeeze the life out of a hippo, not to mention a frail human. Their essence certainly isn’t, well, abundant – and also green and smelling deliciously nutty…
OK, fine, they exist. One is standing right there. Smelling nutty.
But even though he fills her with longing, Karla’s certain no orc in his right mind will go around lusting after her, a curvy woman suffering from adult acne, right? It’s impossible.
Well, guess what?
Gurd the Orc is in Karla’s bedroom, more than ready to conquer her with his green sword. And he’s asking for a bucket because you know what happens when an orc comes.
Karla’s carpet might never be the same after this.

53 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 20, 2022

250 people are currently reading
785 people want to read

About the author

Layla Fae

43 books2,123 followers
Sign up for my newsletter: here.
Layla Fae writes steamy monster romance of many varieties. Fluffy or dark, with TWs ranging from flavored monster essence used as food to blood play and dark taboo romance, she explores the fantasy of monster love from various angles.
She is not an author for the faint of heart.

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5 stars
375 (23%)
4 stars
415 (25%)
3 stars
520 (32%)
2 stars
218 (13%)
1 star
81 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 155 reviews
Profile Image for Celia {Hiatus until August}.
750 reviews138 followers
November 15, 2022
description

•| ⊱✿⊰ |• 2 Stars •| ⊱✿⊰ |•

This one started good, Lucifer on a honeymoon vacations, needed the orcs in our world to plant chaos.
Gurd try to fit in our world, and takes Karla on a date.
After this, everything gone down hill.
The bucket scene was the final nail on the coffin for me...

description
Profile Image for Kimmylongtime.
1,309 reviews130 followers
May 13, 2025
Holy Guacamole!!! 🥑🥑 Did you say pistachio flavored sp*rm that cures acne? And so much is required a bucket and a mop lol !!

Alexa turn on WAP by Cardi B”

playing WAP on Amazon Music 🎶

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet a** puss*
Give me everything you got for this wet a** puss*


This book was freaking hilarious and I was so down for it!! Also Orc’s with Viking personalities I am here for it !!

Happy reading everyone 🥹🤪🥰😍
Profile Image for Darlene I read WAY to many books.
3,675 reviews2,430 followers
January 27, 2022
This one wasn't my fave one.. idk why I didn't connect really with Grud or Karla.. it was meh.

Grud and his Orc clan are brought to the world thanks to Satan who's off on his honeymoon.. he wants them to create chaos.. Grud wants a mate and he finds one In Karla who thinks he role-plays as a Orc cosplay they meet up and she finds out its not cosplay. She does try to run but she is dick whipped lol. And let me tell you they need buckets and buckets for Grud cum.

That magical goop.. helps stretch her out to take him and CURE ACNE!! that's her plan when there happy sale his goop as a get rid of acne. It smells like Nuts.

No ow/om drama, no cheating, sexy times, no virgins

Recommend-maybe
Cover-⭐⭐
Heat level-🌶🌶🌶.5

Tiny push away from h
Bucket of cum
No condom
Vegan facial products lol
Hea
Epilogue
Profile Image for Taylor.
237 reviews35 followers
January 23, 2022
Bucket time.

I’m just so glad things like this exist out in the world!

But not just that is exists but that we can all agree we like it😂🙌🏼
Profile Image for Elisabete.
154 reviews
November 4, 2024
Short, over the top, some really funny moments - the bucket ??? - and pistachios will never look the same to me again LOL
Profile Image for M (hiatus).
297 reviews46 followers
July 14, 2025
3rd person pov ruined this. i don’t wanna feel like i’m watching an animal planet documentary ffs. it was giving “and here we see the male approach the female in her natural habitat…”

*sigh*

this was alright. i’m glad i don’t like roasted pistachios otherwise it’d be ruined just like gravy was after i read thick beef lol

other info:
3rd person pov
no virgins
no angst
no condoms
no sharing
no owd
no omd
no cheating
no 3rd act break up
hea
Profile Image for Cassandra.
1,340 reviews101 followers
November 6, 2022
This book had all kinds of things. Words. Imagery. Pages. Too many uses of the word spunk.

I truly don't know how we got where we got but I will question it until my final days on this planet.
Profile Image for Granger McGringot.
1,440 reviews217 followers
February 8, 2022
This book was a bit crazy. It was started with a good premise but then it fell a bit flat nearing the end.

It all started when h met her online match in real life. She thought her match was cosplaying. Little did she know that her match was actually an Orc from another dimension. He was brought by Satan himself. Satan was away for honeymooning, so what would be a better way to wreak havoc on humanity other than bringing monsters from another realm. However, along the way, she then realized that the Orc was actually a monster. Would their attraction stand a chance?

See, it had a good premise for a start. But, somehow it was followed with erotica and ended with a bit of comedic twist. Not what I was expecting. But it was still a good read. Few unpredictable things were thrown inside, but not something that I had in mind when reading the blurb. So, it was worth the try although it wasn't really my cup of tea.

No virgin
No condoms
Bit out of this world copulation. (Well, it was between Orc and human. What can you expect?)
Dual PoV, 1st person
No cheating
No drama/angst
Safe read-ish, HEA, epilogue
Overall score: 3 monster romance stars
Profile Image for Natalie  H.
3,796 reviews30 followers
November 7, 2022
This one got lost amongst the rest for me. There was a moment where Stan appeared and told the orcs to rape and pillage, I was like woah! Hold on there I didn't think these were those kinds of monsters. Thankfully there's full consent all round. It was kinda boring. I couldn't connect with either character. Has the whole cosplay but not cosplay fantasy thing going on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Chey.
1,494 reviews50 followers
March 8, 2022
Loved This Book!

Layla Fae never disappoints with her monster romances! Karla loves orca and is fascinated when she meets Gurd, a real live orc that she thought was cosplaying. But turns out Karla is about to get more of her fantasy than she thought possible.

I ADORE this author and the fun plots she comes up with. Gurd is everything and the steam between him and Karla is phenomenal. I can't wait to see where the author goes next!
Profile Image for Biblio.
Author 8 books224 followers
October 12, 2023
Another delicious monster erotic by the wildly talented Layla Fae. Orcs are quickly rising on my monster roster and this book bumped them up to #3. Multi purpose cum? Yes pls. Breeding kink? Duh. What more can you want from orc smut?
Profile Image for shane..
304 reviews42 followers
November 1, 2022
Thank god I like pistachios. Lmao.

Anyways, what I did like about this was how the fmc struggled with adult acne, I felt so seen hahaha.
I’m definitely going to need some of that special *wink* face masks of hers though.

This was a short and quick read. Definitely interesting, haha.

Onto the next!
Profile Image for Keri | Books_and_Hookers.
254 reviews12 followers
October 8, 2022
“How should I punish him for you?” Gurd asked, his voice an angry growl. “Do you want him dismembered? Dragged by a wild horse? Trampled? Skinned alive? Say the word and I’ll do it.”

This was something? It wasn’t bad but it also wasn’t the best? It is still very strange. He does have a flavor 👀 but it was very fun to read. I found it to be extremely funny. When the FMC first meets Gurd (the orc) she thinks he’s an or. Cosplayer and it spirals from there. If you like orcs? I definitely recommend. If you haven’t read an orc book well then this one is fun (bring a poncho, it’s a little wet around here). Also. I LOVED getting to see Satan again.
Profile Image for ToriLovesHea’s.
537 reviews98 followers
October 8, 2022
Friends, pals, countrymen lend me your ears. This novella was weird and almost had me in tears.

Pistachio flavored/scented uhhhhhh semen? Check.
Semen that can clear acne and gets turned into a facial product? Check (lol at facial in this context)
An orc peen that REACHES TO HER STERNUM? Check.
Satan showing up to bring orcs to earth so he can go on his honeymoon? Check.

This was certainly an experience and I spent most of the time laughing because it’s absurdly strange. But I think it got SUPER weird at times in it’s descriptions?
“Grunted like a hog” is not hot what 💀

Did I like this? No.
Was it good? No.
Do I give it points for creativity? Sure.

Anywho. This was weird.
Profile Image for MariaIsoldde.
47 reviews10 followers
August 23, 2022
I typically read Erotic paranormal romance. So this wasn't that far from what I normally read. But I never thought In 1,000,000 years that I would say to myself "that is one cute orc." But he's so is, in a weird orc kind of way. I will definitely be reading more from this author.
Profile Image for Averie.
1,121 reviews1,724 followers
March 29, 2022
This is a short and fun monster novella!

Grud and his fellow orc men have been brought to the human world in hopes of finding mates. Grud comes across Karla and once he sees her, he swears that he will never let her go. Karla is a woman who has many orc fantasies, but she is in shock when she realizes that Grud is actually an orc instead of just cosplaying as one. She starts to get to know Grud and ends up bringing him back to her apartment where they have loads of fun😉

This was just a fun short novella that I was able to read in one sitting. I really loved Layla Fae's Orc series, so I thought I would pick this up. I really like how Layla Fae writes about orcs in her books, it is so entertaining!! This was just really hot and a great novella to escape into for a short while :)

TROPES: kindle unlimited, monsters, orcs, quirky heroine (she's a babbler), novella
Profile Image for Kate Victoria RescueandReading.
1,892 reviews111 followers
December 19, 2022
What in the LOTR hell!!!

The Orc tribes are helping Satan out, wreaking havoc on Earth. Oh and they have no more females, so finding human mates is essential 🤷🏻‍♀️

“Gurd was fascinated. He settled down to watch more, and slowly, the movie filled him with yearning for a female of his own. One he could protect like that, by killing everyone who even looked at her wrong. One he could kiss. One he could impale on his sword.”

Gurd somehow knows how to work the internets and meets Karla through an orc cosplaying dating site. Surprise! He’s the real deal and Karla better have a mop and buckets ready for their date.

This bizarre tale is short and definitely lacking depth in the writing/character departments. I want a bit more of a developed plot, even in a romance, so I wasn't a fan of this book.

Also there’s an orc named Balzag…. BALLZAG 😂
Profile Image for Lady P ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ.
174 reviews1 follower
March 9, 2022
Ever since I read Jack from Layla Fae I have been a definite fan. Her books are both crazy and super fun and this one does not disappoint. Our friend Satan from the previous book is currently on vacation and invites some orcs to the Earth realm to reek havoc in his absence. They get their own command center with computers. I love this already.

The titular orc in this book meets a human lady through a cosplay chat site and they further hit it off when they meet in real life. Please know a pink bucket is involved. No, I will not explain further. This book also contains Fae's staple epilogue with unique uses for *a certain something* the MMC can provide. It's so extra and I love it.

Ultimately, what are you doing still reading this review you need to be reading this book. It's not super long PLUS it has ORCS. Come on. That's all you really needed to know to begin with. HAVE FUN READING IT (I definitely did)!
Profile Image for Another hopeless romantic (temp hiatus).
235 reviews6 followers
December 15, 2022
”She had been hungry, and now she was getting her fill.”

She got her fill indeed😅 So much so that she had to store some in a bucket lol

I can hardly wait to read the next book in this series! Idk how the author comes up with this stuff but it is very entertaining (especially if you don’t take it too seriously). Once again we get a hero with special tasting essence and a heroine who eventually makes a business out of it —tis the season of giving after all

Gurd doesn’t say much but when he talks 😳



Spice: 🌶🌶🌶🌶/5 (for the essence that almost flooded the heroine’s apartment)

Emotions: 😮🫢😳🤨👏😅😂🥵🧖‍♀️
Profile Image for Karen.
496 reviews21 followers
October 23, 2023
This started out interesting. Satan offering a group of orcs a "sweet" deal just to cause chaos. One of the orcs playing off that he's a cosplayer. Sounds good so far.... And then it sort of fizzled out from there.

bored2

It was just missing something.. I'm not sure what, but something just kept it a middle of the road read.

And the epilogue was alright. I mean it's less "questionable" than what was being done in the first novella, so it came across as okay.

meh2
Profile Image for I'm Fine, Just Tired.
1,215 reviews18 followers
October 13, 2022
Heads up this is 100% an orc breeding romance. It has hot smutty tid bits like

“Every time my seed finds its way into your body, you become more and more fertile. It’s been in your mouth. Soon, I’ll plant some inside your pussy, and I’ll even put some into your ass to make sure. Then, you’ll be ready to be planted.”

or a more sweet bit

"You are like a flower ready to bloom. A damp patch of black earth eager to be planted."

Also, pistachio jizz that heals acne. Solid read.
Profile Image for Alison.
1,507 reviews107 followers
December 18, 2022
Pistachios.

Pro tip gentlemen: When your date is a vegetarian and there’s nothing for her to eat, take her come and feed her your pistachio flavored come!

So this was probably my least favorite of the series so far. Since I’m new to monster reads maybe I just don’t like Orcs? I don’t know it just wasn’t as interesting, the hero had no personality, the heroine was blah, and even the monster smexy times were rather bland.

Moving on to the next!
Profile Image for V.P. Nightshade.
Author 17 books56 followers
May 2, 2024
Hilarious

I loved this book! It is one huge laugh fest, but you should read it alone because it is impossible to not laugh out loud in a few areas and others will look at you strangely. Gurd, Karla and their new skincare line! Hilarious! And if you are thinking about working your way through this series, you should read SATAN first because he makes a couple of appearances and I imagine it would be a little confusing if you haven't been introduced to his character yet.
Profile Image for Read What I Like Blog.
412 reviews42 followers
February 5, 2022
Don’t need to repeat that I’m addicted to these novellas, but I am! This one starred by an Orc and a girl who loves monster romance with Orcs, well, she got exactly what she wanted and more!
I came to love the epilogues, always curious to know how Layla will make their “essence” useful! Loved this couple, they were very funny and hot together ❤️
427 reviews5 followers
March 3, 2022
same

humor, heat, and spicy "flavors" one gets with all great layla fae books!! i like the crossover (cameos) and wish there were more books in this series!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 155 reviews

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