If I Cry I'll Fill the Ocean: The Catherine Linehan Story

by Ida Linehan Young

Set in North Harbour, Newfoundland, this is one woman’s true story of fortitude and love.

In a life layered by tragedy and loss, Catherine Linehan’s ingrained response is to put one foot in front of the other and not succumb to grief. For the mother of ten children, five of whom perished in a house fire, this means “making some kind of best” out of the rest of her life.

If I Cry I’ll Fill the Ocean is the true story of how tears of cleansing and forgiveness are sacrificed to keep memories alive . . . and sanity in reach. This kind of courage only exists in the hearts and souls of those who have endured the unendurable.

“An amazing, shattering story told by an amazing, unshatterable woman.” — Marjorie Simmins, Author, Journalist, and Teacher

Genres: Nonfiction, Canada

274 pages, Paperback

Published April 15, 2022

About the author

Ida Linehan Young is a mother to three adult children, Sharon, Stacey and Shawna, and a grandmother to the most extraordinary little boys, Parker and Samuel. She has been married to Thomas Young for more than 35 years.

Ida lives on the majestically beautiful island of Newfoundland in province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. She is fiercely proud to have been born and raised a Newfoundlander.

In her busy daily life, Ida works in the information technology sector in the federal government. She also volunteers in her local community with the Kiwanis Club of Kelligrews.

She fulfilled a life-long dream to write beginning with her memoir, No Turning Back: Surviving the Linehan Family Tragedy, which was published days before her 50th birthday in 2014.

Influenced by her love of local history and the familial art of storytelling passed down by her father, Edward Linehan, and her maternal grandfather, Frank Power, she began writing stories that told of her people and her roots. She enjoys researching the past of her beloved birthplace and writing historical fiction which complements its richness and sparks interest in the storied past of her province.

Ida is delighted by the growing readership who connect with her stories and provide encouragement to keep writing.

Reviews

[Ida Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm proud to have written this book to honour my mother. I hope it touches your heart in some way.

[Liz McCoombs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book tells the story of the life of Catherine Linehan, a Newfoundland woman who (after many years) related her life story to her daughter, Ida Linehan Young. The book made me cry, it made me laugh, and it most certainly made me think. Mrs. Linehan had a rough life, as many did, but her story is a poignant reminder of perseverance against all odds. She suffered many tragedies, and through all of them, her strength lay in the fact that she was able to "keep on keeping on". Many would have buckled under the weight of such burdens. I admire her strength, and can fully understand why she felt that if she cried, her tears would fill the ocean. Sadly, Mrs. Linehan passed away in 2022, but she leaves a legacy in the words of her story.

[TomG · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is both stunning and shocking at the same time just to know that it is a true story. It follows the simple yet complex life of Catherine Linehan through the unimaginable loss of five children. The author, who is the daughter of Catherine, does a regal job of portraying the dignity and strength of one woman and her selfless years of caring for others over herself. The words are masterfully constructed to make me feel for this woman, not pity, but admiration without understanding how she was able to even go on. It is a book of struggle, hardship, and loss that doesn't invoke pity nor does Catherine seek it. It left me rooting for this woman to have a little bit of peace in her life. The book is sad without being sad and invokes both tears and laughter as I'm carried through a gamut of emotions and across events that span more than half a century. It even touches on the plight of seniors as Mrs. Linehan loses her physical strength and independence just when she was getting a chance to explore it. A page turner that I started and finished with care of nothing else. The latter part of the book is a beautiful tribute to the resilience of those, who in this pandemic time, seem to have become disposable in our society. I love this author who has shifted genre with ease. I can't wait for more.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I finally got this book finished not because it wasn’t interesting but because this week I’ve been sick with this bronchitis or I would’ve been finished a lot sooner. This book grabbed me from the beginning. The characters were so well written, and I felt like I was in the house with these people as the story was being told. It made me look back on days with my mom before she passed away, and I so wish I had something like this in print regarding her life. I cried or should I say I sobbed in parts of this book where I had to put the book down because I could no longer see the pages. It was heartbreaking. It was funny. I honestly do not know how she carried on day to day with all the heartache she went through. She definitely portrayed her mother as a very strong woman, and I have no doubt that she wasn’t. It goes to show the things you do for love, especially for your children your family, and even your friends. The things she had to endure just made me think of how different my life has been raising my daughter, and I had not near these challenges and life was so much easier I don’t think I could have survived back in the day living as she lived. Hats off to you Ida because so far from the books I have read from you, this is my absolute favourite!

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a beautiful and tragic story. Through the years Catherine and her family faced an unimaginable amount of hardship and heartache. From the constant financial struggles of a large, rural family and the loss of 5 of her children in a house fire. Many would have given up under the immense grief and pressure, but with time she found a way to keep living. Such a strong woman, as were many of her generation. Reading this book made me think of my own mother and wishing I had the foresight many years ago to know her story in such great detail.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m fascinated by ordinary people living extraordinary lives. Catherine Linehan faced so much hardship and heartache in her 80+ years but her fortitude and ability to keep on living one day at a time is so inspirational. Catherine’s story is her own recollection recorded by her daughter. The setting is North Harbour, Nfld. The writing is very good. I found it difficult to put down and finished within 24 hours. I have already recommended to a few and will continue to do so.

[Kathleen Whyte · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a very inspiring story of a courageous lady that faced a lot of heartbreak.The story is so well written . I have to say Ida Linehan Young is an excellent author and I have read all her books.When reading them you feel you are present at the scenes.Fantastic!

[Nada Loughead · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartbreaking story of a mom's loss of some of her children in a house fire that will make your own challenges seem trivial. Catherine's tenacity and perseverance is both unspeakably sad while motivating to "get on with life" no matter what is thrown at us. Written in what is undoubtedly Catherine's voice, her Newfoundland dialect jumps off the page and you can hear her pouring out her heart and life for us to know and marvel. Pick up Young's own biography of her experience and recovery of this hugely life-changing event in the Linehan's family. https://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/...

[Loretta Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straight from the heart. Honest and heartbreaking. I cried ❣️

[Paul Sutter]

No one escapes this world without experiencing some degree of sadness and sorrow. It would be a perfect world never to encounter sadness or face unimaginable loss. The degree of loss and sadness varies by person, and often when we think we are facing horrific moments, they often pale in comparison to others and their suffering.
IF I CRY I’LL FILL THE OCEAN, is the story of Catherine Linehan. It is told with great empathy and compassion by Ida Linehan Young, the daughter of Catherine. Ida is a noted author with a series of fiction books that have definitely drawn readers to the author's great style.
In her latest she looks at the inspiring life and times of her mother, who faced more than her share of sadness and loss. There were ten children in the family, and one night changed everything, when a fire tore through their home, and while five children managed to escape, five children tragically died in the fire. It was June 19 1980 when tragedy struck, and while people in the small Newfoundland community worked together to help Catherine cope, her strength and resilience is what led her forward, from these depths of despair.
Catherine told the story to her daughter Ida, and what we find in the book is truly a story that while sad, does not dwell on that sadness, rather Catherine’s forging onward with the five remaining children. She certainly did her best as the town rallied behind her as well, doing their utmost to soften the impact of the loss. The book does have lighter moments in Catherine’s life, and then her declining years when faced with health struggles, as life eventually took away her independence but not her spirit.
This is definitely a book that will move and motivate the reader to face life’s hurdles with the same spirit as Catherine Linehan did.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ida ,you & your mom both have strength that we can only wish to have . Through hard times of being poor , through the loss of 5 children , your mom still found it in her to give her remaining family a wonderful life , to laugh & to enjoy her life that was given to her , no pity hunting , no give me or what you can do for me ,but how I can continue on living & help others . Her sense of humor is one to none , I can picture her getting in her tangles & her jolly laugh as you, as a writer done a wonderful job conveying them . Catherine is a woman to be admired , not pitied because thats not what she would want , but to be certainly admired. May God Bless her .
Ida you have outdone yourself in writing your mom's story ! This would surely be a wonderful movie .
Congratulations !!!

[Lori Hearn]

My eyes watered numerous times and by the end were freely flowing down my cheeks. Makes me reflect on my own Nan who is 90 years young and from neighbouring community, Colinet.
Stunningly written. A beautiful tribute to the lost loved ones and the women who had to endure that loss. What a life she has lived, may her remaining time be as beautiful as the words she (and you) wrote. This is beyond special.

[Maureen Young]

Could not put down this book until the end…Ida you are an amazing writer you have such a way with words. This book was full of emotions one minute I was laughing the next crying. Your moms strength is so amazing she went through so much in her life and still carried on to help so many people. I give this book a 10/10…Amazing

[Stephanie Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another best seller by Ida Linehan Young!!
Check out my review on The Miramichi Reader at https://miramichireader.ca/2022/06/if...

[Tanya Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I started reading it I couldn’t put it down. A wonderful of story of strength and courage. Can’t wait for Ida’s next book 🙂

[Brenda Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievable strength , cried but couldn’t put it down.

[Laurette Long · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this astounding book Ida Linehan Young recounts the story of her family as it was told to her by her mother, Catherine Linehan, bringing to vivid life the remote fishing community of North Harbour in the 1950s and 60s.
The story opens in a graveyard, with the image of a battered spruce tree. It has weathered hurricanes and ice storms, but like Ida’s mother, it is still, miraculously, standing. By the time we get to the end of the book, the question we ask is: ‘How?’ How on earth did this woman survive? It seems impossible that Fate could land so many blows on one family, leaving Catherine with a ‘wound unseen and pinned to her soul for eternity.’
Catherine and Ed have ten children. With Ed away for work, it’s left to Catherine to juggle housework and childcare, an unremitting round familiar to many in those times when children were carried off by untreatable illnesses and the older generation died early, worn out by poverty and toil. But the Linehan family get extra helpings: the children have allergies, epilepsy, three are born with clubfoot, the list of operations and hospitalisations grows (Francis alone has fifty surgeries) and getting to the nearest hospital is a nightmare, a two-hour trip in a communal taxi and endless waiting.
But all of this belongs to the ‘before’ compartment of Catherine’s life, when such hardships were mitigated by the loving help of family and friends, their unquenched spirit which allowed them to have fun together and celebrate life, to push back the kitchen furniture for impromptu dance evenings, to join in games of hockey and football with the kids.
It takes just one night, one tragic night, to tip the balance into the ‘After’ part, leaving Catherine to find a way to face the rest of her life, to suffer the endless, unimaginable, loss, which ‘stains her heart and will remain there until she dies’ and where the relief of tears is impossible because, as she says, her tears would fill the ocean.
There’s the story itself, and then there’s the writing. I can’t praise highly enough Young’s prose, the delicacy and strength with which she recounts such a personal story, the lyricism and power of the language reflecting the empathetic bond that she shares with her mother, who, in spite of her loving family, must carry the burden alone.
In the Introduction, Young says ‘My only hope is that I can find the words her story deserves’.
For this reader, she has; and I am sure that Catherine’s ocean is already brimming with the tears shed by others turning the last page of a book in which a daughter puts her hands on her mother’s cheeks, looks her in the eye, and through the gift of her writing, shares what she has endured.

[Wilhelmina Hoftyzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book about Catherine Linehan, who lived most of her life on the edge of poverty in Newfoundland, and the mother of 10 children, 5 of whom perished in a fire in one night. Her life was good until this point, although to many people it would sound like a "hard scrabble" life - her life was good "until it wasn't". I found it an amazing gem of a book, so real, so authentic, made all the more so because I have just read, and reviewed the book "Issy and Me" by Rosalie Wiseman - the wife of Issy Sharp of The Hotel Four Seasons fame. Comparing these two books is like comparing night to day. Catherine had a "real" story, she was a true person, a mother of 10, the wife of Eddie, she worked hard in the house, the children had many medical issues, there was often no extra money to spare, but still she carried on creating such a loving home that many friends, family members and others were welcome there to partake of whatever food they made, or to sleep in the house, at any time of the day or night. Rosalie Wiseman on the other hand, is an entitled rich snob, who bemoans selling a painting for 2 million dollars, which later sold for 30 million dollars, who has huge homes in various areas of the world, whose closets are more than crammed, and who pretends she did it all by herself. Catherine, is (was) a tough Newfoundland woman, carrying on despite her tragedies, never giving in to the fact that her life was shattered on the night her 5 children tragically died in a fire. Actually, I found this book very poignant - it was real and riveting. It was written by her daughter - and it is a fine read of a real down to earth woman, who cared about her family, her husband, her parents, her community.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was an honour to read about such a resilient woman, Catherine Linehan. You will cry, you will laugh, and you will be in awe of how strong the Linehan family truly is.

This book is set in North Harbour, Newfoundland. Is is eloquently written by Ida Linehan Young, as told by her mother, Catherine Linehan.

The story begins by discussing the hardships of living in rural Newfoundland with limited access to healthcare. This part of the story highlighted how much Catherine loved her children and how she would do anything for them.

As the story unfolds, we learn about the tragic household fire that took the lives of 5 Linehan children, and severely injured another child. The author walks us through life after the fire, and how they navigated this terrible tragedy, as a family. Although nothing would ever be the same for the Linehan family, one thing remains constant: the love Catherine has for her family.

This is the type of book you start reading in the late afternoon and will not be able to put it down until the sun comes up. This book will show you that through grit and determination, you can get through anything life throws at you. This book taught me to appreciate the small things, and to remain hopeful during the hard things.

To the author: I’m sure it was not easy to write this story and relive this tragedy. Thank you for taking the time to craft this beautiful story and share it with the world. Such a beautiful way to honour your mother.

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read every book that this wonderful author has written and thoroughly enjoyed them all. This book is a true story of her mother’s life and emotions before and after she suffered the devastating loss of five precious children. Ida’s eloquent language in her writing of grief kept me riveted page after page.
I was very blessed to be able to attend this book launch in North Harbour. Catherine, Ida’s amazing mother was there next to Ida and watched each person as they bought books and had them autographed by her daughter. Even with her failing health, it was easy to see Catherine’s pride of Ida and her joy as her grandchildren and great grandchildren gathered around her.
A very sad book but also very inspiring.

[Joanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an avid reader of true crime, I’m used to reading some heavy material that takes me to places where I’m not quite comfortable.

But no book has ever made me feel the weight of it like this one. I grieved with Catherine, mother to mother, and had to set aside the book many times to gather myself. Her sheer strength in the face of so much tragedy was unbelievable, and utterly inspiring. How could one woman bear so much and still be such a pillar of strength for others?

Such an amazing woman. I wish I knew her.

[Tanya Hoyles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved everything about this book. Thanks to your Mom for sharing her story. The hardships that she endured were too much for anyone to carry, her loss overwhelming. The numbness she felt, I felt. She is an amazing woman. If we could all have half her strength and giving and loving ways the world would be a much better place. Side note ... I feed 12 what’s 2 more.... oh my... how’d she do it. Thanks for sharing this book with us :)

[Matthew Ledrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In contention for one of the best books I've read all year. All decade, possibly. Linehan-Young has a deft ear for dialog and is brilliant with fiction. She's honed her skills over the award-winning Mary Ro series, and now she's turned her pen back to the tragedy that befell her family once again.

This is brilliant book of love and perseverance. Linehan-Young speaks with adoration for her mother, who she never ceases to find the opportunity to say a good word about. A true tale of Newfoundland family, hardship, and grace.

A must-read.

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the mother of ten children, five of whom perished in a house fire, this means “making some kind of best” out of the rest of her life. If I Cry I’ll Fill the Ocean is the true story of how cleansing and forgiveness are sacrificed to keep memories alive and keep your sanity in the process This kind of courage only exists in the hearts and souls of those who have endured the unendurable. I am thinking this could relate ot all who have gone through this.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t put it down since I started. Even sneaking in a few pages at work.

It made me smile a lot to the childhood playing by Catherine/Neil’s as myself and Kirsten grew up extremely close. We would spent hours running in the woods or sliding down the hill.

Catherine you truly are a real hero and I applaud you of your courage and strength all these years.

[Susan White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book only stopping long enough to process the magnitude of loss and suffering this strong and resilient woman endured. The author who has herself weathered much suffering was able to tell her mother's story in a tender, meaningful and honest way. I will read this beautiful book over and over.

[Cindy Barry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, the woman this book is written about, her daughter (author), and the family are all truly amazing and inspirational. If you want to know what true strength, devotion, resilience and love is, this book, from beginning to end, will consume you in it. And to read knowing that this in non-fiction makes it that much more heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. ❤️

[Marian Coleman Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another inspiring read by Ida Linehan Young. This truly captivating story tugs at the reader’s heart while illustrating how strong the human spirit can be in light of the most tragic of life’s challenges. Ida Linehan Young has honoured and immortalized her mother, Catherine Linehan in the most respectful, gracious manner.

[Marceline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this last night. You told your Mom’s story so well and left me in awe of her and the strength she had to get through the most devastating tragedy anyone could possibly imagine 💔. Her life was difficult but she sounds like an amazing woman who I would’ve loved to have met. This was my first of your books to read. Looking forward to the rest!

[Michelle Fagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried, I laughed than I cried again. You have the ability to have the reader experience the story you are protraying as if they were there themselves. It's obvious where you get your strength Ida. This book was again another page turner. I couldn't put it down.