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Ready: How to Know When to Go and When to Stay
The guide to finding your perfect timing for life's biggest decisions—whether to stay or go in relationships, jobs, locations, and everything that matters most.
Do we stay in what we know? Or is it the right time to leave and make a change? In more than 50 years as a psychotherapist David Richo has been asked versions of this question more than any other. He has coached countless people of all ages through agonizing decisions related to their partnerships, their career, their home, their faith. In Ready, he shares the deep wisdom we need to make these decisions—and feel confident in following through. The book looks at the mystery of timing, why we stay too long, why we leave too soon, and what it feels like when the timing is right.
Richo shows that readiness is about more than just making a choice. Being ready means we understand ourselves deeply—we are prepared to take action (and staying is an action!), and we are equipped with what it takes to follow through. Filled with relatable stories and helpful practices, including meditation, self-inquiry, journaling, and affirmations, Ready helps us understand our own perfect timing to stay or to go.
“Ready posits that making important decisions is not about drawing up lists of pros and cons, consulting experts, or honing your willpower. Rather, it is about knowing yourself deeply, inhabiting each moment fully, and then letting the world speak to you in its infinite wisdom (which is not separate from your own). If you’re looking for a way to make decisions you can trust, this book is for you.”—Susan Piver, author of The Four Noble Truths of Love
“Ready is a superbly succinct guide through the entanglements of fear, doubt, regret, and grief to a deepening trust of our decisions about our commitments and the skills needed to time them exquisitely. The journey through the practices is to be expertly companioned by a wise elder and a caring friend.”—Linda Graham, MFT, author of Resilience
“Ready is the antidote to one of the most common crossroads we all experience as human beings—knowing when it is truly time to stay or go. Let this insightful guide support you in learning the language of readiness and cuing the courage required to make the big changes you seek.”—Amanda Gilbert, author of Kindness Now
Do we stay in what we know? Or is it the right time to leave and make a change? In more than 50 years as a psychotherapist David Richo has been asked versions of this question more than any other. He has coached countless people of all ages through agonizing decisions related to their partnerships, their career, their home, their faith. In Ready, he shares the deep wisdom we need to make these decisions—and feel confident in following through. The book looks at the mystery of timing, why we stay too long, why we leave too soon, and what it feels like when the timing is right.
Richo shows that readiness is about more than just making a choice. Being ready means we understand ourselves deeply—we are prepared to take action (and staying is an action!), and we are equipped with what it takes to follow through. Filled with relatable stories and helpful practices, including meditation, self-inquiry, journaling, and affirmations, Ready helps us understand our own perfect timing to stay or to go.
“Ready posits that making important decisions is not about drawing up lists of pros and cons, consulting experts, or honing your willpower. Rather, it is about knowing yourself deeply, inhabiting each moment fully, and then letting the world speak to you in its infinite wisdom (which is not separate from your own). If you’re looking for a way to make decisions you can trust, this book is for you.”—Susan Piver, author of The Four Noble Truths of Love
“Ready is a superbly succinct guide through the entanglements of fear, doubt, regret, and grief to a deepening trust of our decisions about our commitments and the skills needed to time them exquisitely. The journey through the practices is to be expertly companioned by a wise elder and a caring friend.”—Linda Graham, MFT, author of Resilience
“Ready is the antidote to one of the most common crossroads we all experience as human beings—knowing when it is truly time to stay or go. Let this insightful guide support you in learning the language of readiness and cuing the courage required to make the big changes you seek.”—Amanda Gilbert, author of Kindness Now
184 pages, Paperback
Published April 19, 2022
41 people are currently reading
3436 people want to read
About the author
David Richo
88 books534 followersDavid Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 13, 2022
This seemed like it would be a good book about deciding whether to stay or go in certain areas of your life, but for me it didn't really live up to its title. David Richo does talk a lot about both sides, but it is more spiritual quotes and meditations than strong examples or exercises to make the decision clear.
In the chapter "Working on What Can Work", I was put off by how he insisted on staying in negative situations, and seemed to imply that wanting to be treated well was selfish or based on ego. For example, "Love is generous when it does not insist on reciprocity. The self-absorbed ego insists on entitlement to equal love in return." The whole section was talking about how virtuous it is to give love when you get nothing back, but I think that is just encouraging people to stay in bad or even abusive relationships.
There were some good meditations and thoughts in the book, but overall I wouldn't recommend it.
In the chapter "Working on What Can Work", I was put off by how he insisted on staying in negative situations, and seemed to imply that wanting to be treated well was selfish or based on ego. For example, "Love is generous when it does not insist on reciprocity. The self-absorbed ego insists on entitlement to equal love in return." The whole section was talking about how virtuous it is to give love when you get nothing back, but I think that is just encouraging people to stay in bad or even abusive relationships.
There were some good meditations and thoughts in the book, but overall I wouldn't recommend it.
June 11, 2024
I found it pretty difficult to read in big sittings, more of a pick up and read a few pages sort. There were also some pretty dense sections in amongst it but the content and the overall thoughts/messages in the book were worth a bit of a struggle.
The end chapter was a bit too hippie-ish for me. Talking about mediations, mindfulness, affirmations and spirituality. But I guess for some people that’s necessary. And how else would you close off such a book. Overall I’d say it was good, but definitely caters to a certain sort of person.
The end chapter was a bit too hippie-ish for me. Talking about mediations, mindfulness, affirmations and spirituality. But I guess for some people that’s necessary. And how else would you close off such a book. Overall I’d say it was good, but definitely caters to a certain sort of person.
August 26, 2023
This is a good, grounding place to go when you’re trying to work out what to do. Another healthy tool in the toolbox.
As the Timing theme suggests, this feels like the kind of book that will provide different insights at different times. I found lots of wisdom and practical questions to ask myself in the thick of right now. I also enjoyed Mayim Bialik’s interview with the author here: https://youtu.be/qa9IX9ko8sQ?si=4kKyV..., although they’re discussing a different book.
As the Timing theme suggests, this feels like the kind of book that will provide different insights at different times. I found lots of wisdom and practical questions to ask myself in the thick of right now. I also enjoyed Mayim Bialik’s interview with the author here: https://youtu.be/qa9IX9ko8sQ?si=4kKyV..., although they’re discussing a different book.
October 7, 2022
I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway and just finished it. It was a good book with many good points and a valid message. However, I feel that it depends heavily on the Christian Bible, which may offend some who are not of the Christian faith or fond (or knowledgeable) of the references the author makes throughout most of the book. I am a Christian and it didn’t bother me, but I also feel it got a bit repetitive about two thirds of the way into it.
But if you’re feeling conflicted about something or don’t know how (or when) to pick a side and get off the fence, it’s informative, offering options and suggestions on how to walk away or when to try harder.
But if you’re feeling conflicted about something or don’t know how (or when) to pick a side and get off the fence, it’s informative, offering options and suggestions on how to walk away or when to try harder.
August 24, 2022
Really helped me take a deep dive into where I am currently in my life and what could be in my future. I will definitely be coming back to a few of these passages to help me work through my decisions.
February 13, 2024
Este libro lo escuche en audible, me gusto mucho el tema principal que es sobre cuando decidir el retirarse, cuando prolongar una relación y cuando quedarse. Sin duda sus reflexiones son interesantes y muy actuales a la situación que vivimos.
August 1, 2022
Very interesting book!! Highly recommend.
August 27, 2022
A bit wordy and hard to follow, some good snipets to reflect upon throughout the book.
November 6, 2022
Good and informative read.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews