Loving the Dead and Gone

by Judith Turner-Yamamoto

A freak car crash in 1960s rural North Carolina puts in motion moments of grace that bring redemption to two generations of women and the lives they touch.

A Mariel Hemingway Book Club pick, LOVING THE DEAD AND GONE won the 2023 Independent Publisher Book Awards Gold Medal in Southern Regional Fiction. The North Carolina Society of Historians recognized the novel with the 2023 Historical Novel Award. Shortlisted for the 2023 Eric Hoffer Book Awards Grand Prize, the book was also honorable mention in General Fiction and finalist for the First Horizon Award for Debut Fiction.

For forty years Aurilla Cutter has tended a clutch of secrets that have turned her mean. A fatal accident becomes the catalyst for the release of the passions, needs, and hurts in everyone affected by her hidden past. Darlene, a seventeen-year-old widow, struggles to reconnect with her dead husband while proving herself still alive. Soon loss and death work their magic, drawing Darlene into an unlikely affair that threatens to upend Aurilla’s family, and sets loose Aurilla’s own memories of longing and infidelity.

As Aurilla’s forbidden and heartbreaking story of love, death, and repeated loss alternates with Darlene’s, the divide of generations and time narrows and collapses, building to the unlikely collision of two women’s yearnings, which will free them both from the past. Loving the Dead and Gone is a lyrical novel that explores how both grief and love are the ties that bind.

Jill McCorkle, author of Hieroglyphics, says "Loving the Dead and Gone is a rich and skillfully rendered portrait of a place that explores the generational effects of love and loss and the fragile connections within a family. Judith Turner-Yamamoto gives us a complex and memorable cast of characters and a vivid setting filled with stunning detail.” Margot Livesey, Author of The Boy in The Field, says, “How well Turner-Yamamoto understands the complexities of passion, the necessity of work, and the limits of small towns. This beautifully written novel, with its complicated, stubborn characters, will haunt you long after the last page.” Gina Millsap, library consultant and former CEO, Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library, says, “Beautifully written, fully developed characters, and a compelling story from the first page. I’m convinced Loving the Dead and Gone will engage many readers, excite book club members, and that the quality of the writing will impress reviewers. A must purchase for public libraries.”

Genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Historical, Southern, Womens, Novels, Contemporary

256 pages, Paperback

First published September 6, 2022

About the author

Thrilled to share LOVING THE DEAD AND GONE, a Mariel Hemingway Book Club pick, is the 2023 Independent Publisher Book Awards (IPPYS) Gold Medalist in Southern Regional Fiction and was shortlisted for the 2023 Eric Hoffer Book Awards Grand Prize and awarded an honorable mention in General Fiction! The North Carolina Society of Historians awarded LOVING THE DEAD AND GONE the 2023 Historical Novel Award. Thanks to Publishers Weekly for calling LOVING THE DEAD AND GONE "A bittersweet fantastical debut."
JUDITH TURNER-YAMAMOTO grew up in rural North Carolina in a small mill town. An art historian, she first came to writing through learning to appraise what she saw and to describe what moved her. Her fiction has appeared in StorySOUTH, Mississippi Review, Deep South Magazine, and American Literary Review, among others, and in many anthologies, including Walking the Edge: A Southern Gothic Anthology, Show Us Your Papers, and Gravity Dancers. She has been awarded scholarships, fellowships, and residencies by the Virginia Arts Commission, Ohio Arts Council, Sewanee Writers’ Conference, the Chautauqua Writers’ Center, VCCA, and the Kentucky Humanities Speakers Bureau. Her other awards include the Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize, the Washington Prize for Fiction, and the Virginia Screenwriting Award. An art historian, over 1000 articles have appeared in The Boston Globe Magazine, Elle, Interiors, Art & Antiques, The Los Angeles Times, and Travel & Leisure, and many others. She has taught fiction at the Chautauqua Writers’ Center, Chautauqua Institution, the Danville Writer’s Conference, and the Writers’ Center, Bethesda, Maryland. www.turneryamamoto.com

Reviews

[Donna Everhart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I've said this before, and it won't be the last time because it's true. All readers know when you're looking forward to getting back to a story - it's good, and that was exactly how it was with this one!

This book is beautifully written and part of what I loved was the author's ability to explore in depth the personal feelings of each character with such astuteness and insight. It was so well-done I had to go see if her background was psychology or something in the field of mental health, and what a surprise it was to read this, "An art historian, she first came to writing through learning to appraise what she saw and to describe what moved her."

That's a first ever, but makes so much sense!

This is a character driven novel. It starts off with a death that will eventually impact each of the characters in different ways. Turner-Yamamoto is adept at providing the small details which bring a reader into the past. Her turns of phrase and descriptions had me re-reading sentences, and slowing down to enjoy the experience.

Highly recommend!

[bookishcharli · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so incredible that I read it in one sitting because I just couldn't put it down. This book puts you through all the emotions under the sun and had me hating Aurilla and then feeling bad for her and almost liking her by the end of the book. Any book with character growth and depth like that is worth its weight in gold.

Thoroughly enjoyed this one, I can't wait to read more from this author!

[Atlasi Khoramani · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a powerful story and mesmerizing way of writing. an amazing story about grief and secrets and the effects these things have on life. I could fell lots of different emotions with every chapter and every word. very powerful. highly recommended.
thanks to Netgallery for providing me a copy of this AMAZING book.

[Britt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley & Regal House Publishing for an eARC of this book. The following review is my honest reflection on the text provided.

"Nobody dies alone, that's what I know. The dead forgive and they come for their own."

Loving the Dead and Gone is an incredibly emotional journey that explores grief in many different forms. Unfortunately, the narrative did not resonate with me. This is probably on me - I'm in a bit of a reading slump these days, and Loving the Dead and Gone is outside my go-to slump-busting genres.

I didn't connect with any of the characters, and they all started to blend together. They're all so passive - almost anything could happen to them, and they would just let it happen.

Aurilla, in particular, was the most confusing character. It felt like her base personality changed every chapter, and there was no consistent thread. She was brash and bold in some chapters, taking shit from no one. In others, she was a doormat, letting everyone walk all over her. Sometimes she was sly and sneaky; others, she was outright mean. Oh, and she just... killed someone? With barely a second thought? That was so. weird.

Darlene was more believable. She's so young, with a massive life change - yeah, she's going to go off the rails a little bit. It probably goes on a bit longer than it should, especially considering we're privy to her private thoughts, and she's well over her little rebellion ages before making a change. I liked her parts the best - the rigid conformity of this small town was in desperate need of a young woman making her own rules.

Berta Mae was almost non-existent; she had very few chapters, and I think I found her as difficult as Aurilla did. Nothing is good enough, and everything is a problem. The most touching moments were her memories of her grandmother, but otherwise, I had very little interest in or patience with her. Similarly, Clayton was almost a non-entity. He was wishy-washy, his thoughts going in one direction while his actions went in another. As a result, he contributed very little to the story.

My instinct is to give this two stars. However, because I'm in a slump, I know I wasn't attentive enough to pick up the nuanced parts of this very character-driven story, so I'm bumping it up to three.

Review originally posted here on Britt's Book Blurbs.

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[Fictionophile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set in 1925 and 1963, this beautifully written novel explores loss in a way that is powerful and at times heart-rending.

In rural North Carolina a young man died when he was rear-ended by another vehicle. Only nineteen years of age, and a newlywed, he left behind a great love in his wife Darlene. This tragedy acts as a catalyst for the upheaval of many lives.

In addition to the main themes of loss, grief, and bereavement, this beautifully scripted, expressive novel also eloquently explores the complicated love-hate relationships between mothers and daughters, and of loveless, cold marriages held together only by responsibility and commitment.

Literary fiction at its finest which explores emotions and universal truths in the guise of telling the story of two very different women.  Highly, highly recommended!

[Sue]

It's very rare for me to DNF a book but due to family deaths in the last several months, I was not able to read this book. The other reviews are fantastic and I'm keeping this book in my bookcase and will hopefully read it in the future.

[Gmillsap · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been a voracious reader since I was five, but during the pandemic I almost quit reading. Nothing held my interest and the genres I used to read seemed formulaic and stale. Until a friend introduced me to Judith Turner Yamamoto and her first novel. Loving the Dead and Gone revived my love of reading. Like my father and many Southerners, Judith is a crackerjack storyteller and has a gift for dialogue. Her characters are real, their emotions are palpable - I cared about them and at the book’s end, I wanted to know what happened to them. This story of families and especially women and how grief transforms their lives and relationships is powerful. My heart hurt for Berta Mae and I just wanted to smack her mother Aurilla! But first and foremost, this is an engrossing story - for me a timely reminder that the best books take us in and make us part of their world.

[Martha Anne Toll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully rendered story of love and longing, both accomplished and refreshing.

[Lisa Quinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I requested this book from the cover alone and didn't read the blurb before starting, so had no preconceived ideas before reading.

I found that the first few chapters grabbed me by the throat and made me keep on dreaming. The language evoked the place and time within the first couple of sentences, contrasting the slow lazy pace of that hot day in Southern America with the shock factor of a young man's death.

What follows is a sad tale of opportunities lost and wasted lives. Intergenerational trauma leads to miscommunication and secrets. As a modern reader it was frustrating that no one could speak freely, leading to so much resentment, but typical of the time and place.

I found it difficult at first to keep track of the different characters and was completely confused around why Clayton's narrative was in the first person when no one else's was, but the slow and steady rythem of the narrative made it feel relaxing, even when events were tragic or shocking.

I didn't particularly like or side with any of the characters but this felt important as there were no 'goodies' or 'baddies', just real people to whom life was just happening, rather than two dimensional characters acting a part.

[Ashleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book blew my mind in such a way that I read it in one sitting, physically unable to do anything other than devour all it had to offer.

I was caught of guard by the multiple narrators at first but as the story progressed their lives seamlessly intertwined. Judith Turner-Yamamoto has a knack for setting the scene in such a poetic and realistic way. Judith also has a talent for shocking me.

Aurilla's POV was shocking throughout. I absolutely hated her from the moment Berta Mae first described her mother. And yet, by the end of the book I was angry FOR Aurilla. It has been years since a book has brought out so many emotions in me.

Grief is woven into every page and every word. It is deeply ingrained into each of the main characters in subtle as well as obvious ways. There were frustrations I felt as the reader, feeling like a motionless bystander unable to shake some of the characters into growing a backbone. Grief can do strange things to your psyche and this portrays that quite realistically.

Thoroughly enjoyed this, I can't wait to read more of Judith Turner-Yamamoto. I highly recommend this to anyone that is looking for that one book to remind them of how powerful they can be.

[Chris Lione · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so glad I waited for a good time and place to read "Loving the Dead and Gone". This is a story of deep substance — I wanted nothing to disturb my concentration.

The characters and plots are so beautifully complete. I could see, taste and smell every bit as I turned the pages.

Sometimes her prose made me think it was that of an artist or cinematographer describing a new work or project. Judith Turner-Yamamato paints the scenes so well. Her love of detail is remarkable.

[Preeti Thakar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel uses a tragedy and the small stage of a 1960s southern mill town to powerfully take readers inside the universal emotions of loss, grief, and grace that we all experience. I highly recommend Loving the Dead and Gone.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The tragic death of a young man gives seed to the story of love and loss in a small town, a place that becomes a women's prison once they marry and have children. I loved this deeply felt story of two generations of women in the rural south. I found the harshness of the older women difficult until their stories began to unravel, and they can be seen as innocent young hearts hoping for the magic of love and even the chance to break free from small-town life.

The reality of a bit of life with no opportunity to leave is the core of the story for me. Breaking free is impossible for women without education, working skills, and little money. Finding a man who would take them away seemed the only solution. Some tried, and most failed. Most people didn't want to leave. They were content working at the mill or on the tobacco farm. Darlene was the young firebrand who seemed as if she would combust if not allowed to live the life she wanted with a man she loved passionately. In this sense, the novel was exciting. Darlene saw herself as a character in Gone With the Wind. In many ways, she was the beautiful woman who left reality to deal with tomorrow.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC.

[Kay Sloan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving the Dead and Gone is a spellbinding novel about several generations of a Southern family in the Carolinas. Turner-Yamamoto spins one tale after the next, alternately humorous and heartbreaking, weaving them into a finely-textured fabric that speaks, ultimately, to universal experience. This is what the finest of Southern literature, from Welty, Faulkner to O'Connor, does: the scope of human experience is 'writ small,' but deeply, in the narratives of characters that seem so real they feel like our own flesh-and-blood relatives. A must read.

[Rachel Drenning · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a brilliant novel. Southern book about grief, loss, and life written with beautiful prose. I look forward to more by this author. I read this in one evening because it was one of those books I couldn't sit down.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this one a little bit confusing getting into for the first few chapters, mostly due to the changing POVs; when it was just between Darlene, Berta Mae and Clayton before the first Aurilla chapter I didn't feel they had so much of a distinct voice separating the three, but only in the beginning of the novel

After the slower start however, once we reached Aurilla's first chapter, I quickly started to become absolutely hooked on Turner-Yamomoto's incredibly atmospheric and heart wrenching accounts of lives that were clearly hanging on by threads of normalcy and obligation that coloured so many relationships during that era (as is especially apparent with Aurilla and Joe). I found this to be an unexpectedly emotional read, especially through the lens of Darlene and navigating loss so profound while surrounded by family who's approach to grief was so opposite to her own.

I'll admit I found the relationship Darlene enters afterwards to be pretty disgusting, but Turner-Yamomoto doesn't romanticise it at all, instead gracefully painting a picture of the ways grief makes us do things that make no logical sense outside of the context of immense grief and loss and I was thankful for her ending. This perfectly balanced with the other main story of Aurilla, and the way her own grief narrated her story throughout her life.

Overall, this was a beautiful and bittersweet portrayal of life in a world tinged by so much sadness, and I'd happily recommend this!

[Karla Huebner]

This intense and haunting tale examines the lives and emotions of two families living in the small-town South during the early 1960s. When a random car crash on a quiet road kills a young man, the world changes drastically for both his teen bride and the older man who discovered the body. Darlene, the widow, simultaneously refuses to let go of her connection to her beloved new husband and tempestuously asserts her unwillingness to behave like a conventional bereaved spouse by dressing up for the high school dance, driving a noticeable car, and seeking out Clayton, the witness to the corpse.

Meanwhile, Clayton is dealing with his own faltering marriage to Berta Mae, whose dominant and often downright mean mother Aurilla Cutter is filled with terrible secrets from her own youth.

The novel's exploration of grief, love, and secrets in a time that is both recent and long gone resonates well after the last page is reached.

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the opening line, you know you’re in the hands of a marvelous writer, one who takes you deep into the lives of people in a small North Carolina community in the early 1960s. “I had seen the whole world played out with the few people I had known; somewhere else I’d just see the same thing all over again,” she writes, lovingly evoking the limited horizons, the lack of options, the days as endless as the routine of the hosiery mill. Equally indelible are the images of houses, farms, small towns, moments caught in a photo or in memory. This is not a syrupy sweet Southern novel of family life, but one that wrestles with the difficulty of giving and receiving love, and how sometimes death is the only thing that “opens a door for the living.”

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. Story of generations of women and their family with tragedy,loss,suffering and love.A lot of great characters and a very good story.

I won this advanced review book on Goodreads and the author even included a note.How nice that was of her.

[Carrie Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This forthcoming novel is full of emotion from the very first page!

Judith puts words to emotions that are hard to define, the quiet moments we all experience and the inability to share those moments with others. These moments wind through the novel, pulling readers deeper into the lives of these families and their little world.

If you love compelling fiction that feels real, you’ll be in ♥️ with this book too.

[Marjorie Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deep dive into how the living spirits of the dead haunt women and twist and sweeten their lives. So moving. The young widow who chooses a man to inhabit the ghost of her young husband in bed. The loved ones who have left an older woman behind. All in the spot-on world of a Southern mill town, forlorn and hanging on. Just beautiful and full of surprises. A great curl-up-and-read novel. Beautifully written, with wisdom and depths like an old bell ringing.

[Carol Dines · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this novel. What stood out to me in this book was the beautiful writing. The themes are love and grief and how they cross the boundaries of time. Great writing, great story. Loved the descriptions of the south and the way the story was told. Highly recommend.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley for an ARC

This is the tragic tale of a young widow, Darlene, who wants to connect with Clayton, after discovering the wreck that claimed her husband, Donald's life.

Loving the Dead and Gone, is a beautifully written novel, of loss and how there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Life is a funny thing, we all take for granted. Never thinking of losing the love of our lives, son, or loved one. We never think, how we will grieve, till it happens. Never knowing the true pain of death.

Coping is hard, especially by yourself. Sometimes, trying to find our loved ones, in others seems like saving grace.

[Natacha Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy of this book from NetGalley

I loved the way this book was written and how the book flowed. It had just enough information to make you want to keep reading to find out the stories of the characters.
It had a really good story line and different characters POV's, which helped to understand the character better.

It really showed also how generational habits can be passed down so easily and I felt a few times that a couple of characters at the beginning I did not like but by the end of the book I understood them much more and why they are this way.

[Nikki Lorenzini · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a quick and easy read.

I just felt like it was lacking in some areas. I would have loved to get more of a story on Berta Mae (I loved the story about her mom, Aurilla, and heard plenty about Berta Mae as a baby and briefly when she met Clayton). But I feel like she could have had a bit more of a prominence.

I also expected to see Darlene and Aurilla have a different type of meeting with each other. Wasn't expecting it to be so. . . Flippant or quick.

Felt like there was a lot of build up for it to not be tied up so cleanly.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving the Dead and Gone by Judith Turner-Yamamoto is a novel with a strong sense of place. Set in a hosiery mill town in North Carolina surrounded by tobacco farms, this story begins with the discovery of a young man’s body at the scene of a car accident by a local man, Clayton. Death is something people move on from but Clayton and the man’s young widow, Darlene, aren’t able to so their lives become intertwined. Clayton’s mother-in-law also tells of the many looses that shaped her life. Told by four narrators over generations this is great story telling with beautiful imagery and prose.

[Daniele Foa' · Rating 4 out of 5]

I requested this book through Netgalley as it was suggested and I thought the description was interesting enough to dedicate some time to such a story. The story itself is not the typical kind of story I usually like (not my cup of tea, I would say). However I have to say that this is one of the most well written and conceived books I have ever read. As it is not very long, also, definitely get it and read it in a fortnight.

[Amanda (Smitten For Fiction) · Rating 3 out of 5]

With only 225 ratings since its release two years ago Loving the Dead and Gone is extremely underrated. This is truly a hidden gem. The cast of narrators for the audiobook are all incredible. This is an emotional story with morally grey characters and high-quality writing.

themes: grief, secrets, love, complicated relationships, intergenerational trauma
Dual Timeline: 1925 and 1963
Multi-perspective
Slow-burn
character-driven
Emotional, challenging, reflective

[Candi Sary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful novel begins with a tragedy that leaves Darlene deep in grief. As her story of healing unfolds, Aurilla, a women of a different generation, reveals secrets of her own past that parallel Darlene’s. Grief, loss, and secret loves make LOVING THE DEAD AND GONE an emotional and powerful read.

[Miki Reilly-Howe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving the Dead and Gone is a gorgeous story about love, loss and redemption - and the crushing limits of small towns. It is southern fiction at its best.