Daughter of Spies: Wartime Secrets, Family Lies

by Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop

As a child, Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop, along with her five brothers, was raised to revere the tribal legends of the Alsop and Roosevelt families. Her parents’ marriage, lived in the spotlight of 1950s Washington where the author’s father, journalist Stewart Alsop, grew increasingly famous, was not what either of her parents had imagined it would be. Her mother's strict Catholicism and her father's restless ambition collided to create a strangely muted and ominous world, one that mirrored the whispered conversations in the living room as the power brokers of Washington came and went through their side door. Through it all, her mother, trained to keep secrets as a decoding agent with MI5, said very little. In this brave memoir, the author explores who her mother was, why alcohol played such an important role in her mother’s life, and why her mother held herself apart from all her children, especially her only daughter. In the author’s journey to understand her parents, particularly her mother, she comes to realize that the secrets parents keep are the ones that reverberate most powerfully in the lives of their children.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography

242 pages, Paperback

Published October 25, 2022

Reviews

[Kinney Zalesne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daughter of Spies is a beautifully-written book about one of the most prominent WASP families in post-WWII America. But more than just a peek inside the old guard of movers and shakers, it is a poignant story of the women who lived with and around the power-broking men: the author’s mother, Tish, a lonely (and perennially pregnant) British beauty who turned to alcohol to ease her way through high-stakes soirees; and the author herself, Elizabeth, the lone daughter striving to keep up with her two older brothers, protect her three younger ones, and make any connection at all with her aloof, struggling parents. In the end, Elizabeth gets a few lovely years with her mother, between (as she says) the alcoholism and the Alzheimers. Ultimately, Daughter of Spies is a triumphant portrait of the titular heroine who, despite growing up in a family that chose stiff upper lips over tender embraces, learned how to love nonetheless.

[Lisa Albright · Rating 4 out of 5]

This heartfelt memoir is an exploration of the author's relationship with her mother and the events in her mother’s life that shaped the woman she became. It takes courage to delve into the past when it's uncertain what may be lurking there, but this book is a tribute to finding understanding and peace in the unknown.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Drellenluborskygmail.Com · Rating 5 out of 5]

A remarkable book - I felt totally drawn in to the mysteries of this memoir. The author's search to understand her parents' world felt instantly alive. The spare style of writing is a perfect match to their aristocratic trappings, & it lets the author's viewpoint emerge like a hidden source of light.
So glad I opened this book!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A girl’s sensitive, aching and difficult search to understand her mother’s secrets is the beating heart of this fascinating memoir. Set in the complex political world of Washington in the decades following WWII where political luminaries surrounded the household, much is done by the young Elizabeth and her brothers to stake out a life and sense of individuality. It is difficult. Her famous but emotionally remote father is away half the year for his journalism and her mother is locked even further in her bedroom drinking herself into oblivion, overwhelmed with twelve pregnancies, volatile, and mourning her own unhealed early losses. Told in a fascinating way moving back and forth decades in time from when her mother at eighteen secretly worked in England for MI5 and her father was a handsome American soldier, the author gradually uncovers the many secrets she never knew. That the great names of Washington move in and out of the story of Elizabeth’s journey makes the book even more compelling.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent memoir—much of it set just three blocks from my own childhood home. Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop's parents met during World War II. Her father was twelve years older than her mother who married him at age 18. Alcohol was the social lubricant of their era and tight circle. No one seems to have known about the dangers of overgreasing.
Memoir is tricky. This one is very well structured, avoiding many of the genre's pitfalls. It is so well researched that I kept asking myself why it hadn't been categorized as history. Then the adult children of an alcoholic give voice to the ways a familial engine can fail when overgreased. My heart goes out to the author, her brothers and several of the family dogs. Read Daughter of Spies with a stiff upper lip.

[Billy Buttons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: DAUGHTER OF SPIES: Wartime Secrets, Family Lies
Author: Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop

Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 15
Stats
Editing: 10/10
Writing Style: 9/10
Content: 9/10
Cover: 4/5
Of the 15 readers:
15 would read another book by this author.
12 thought the cover was good or excellent.
15 felt it was easy to follow.
15 would recommend this book to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge’.
Of all the readers, 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
Of all the readers, 3 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘clarity of message’.
15 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
15 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
“I loved how the author balanced ‘delving into family life’ with showing the reader ‘Washington DC life for the up and coming’. I felt I got to know the mother so well, a person who seemed so brave, yet was also often unhappy. The writing style is excellent; wonderfully accessible and with solid pacing.” Male reader, aged 55
“I suspect any reader interested in the Cold War and how it felt to live in America during that time, will find this smartly crafted memoir thoroughly engaging. Also, as an insight into family life – a very ‘unusual’ family, a family full of secrets, it’s an excellent read. I enjoyed every page of it.” Female reader, aged 66
“A well-crafted insight into her mother’s life, her ups and downs, all told with honesty and just a little humour. In many ways, this felt like a daughter trying to understand her mother; I don’t know if she ever did or ever will, but I enjoyed the ride.” Male reader, aged 49
“This is such an absorbing book. I felt I got to know the author’s family so well. There is an honesty to the writing (her mother’s addiction) which I particularly enjoyed. A superb insight into Washington DC in a different era.” Male reader, aged 54

To Sum It Up:
‘A compelling story of family secrets focusing on the difficult love between a mother and her daughter. Utterly fascinating. A FINALIST and highly recommended!’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards

[Lynne Brookfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

DAUGHTER OF SPIES slides seamlessly back and forth between Britain during WWII and life growing up in Washington DC amongst the WASP power brokers of government during the Cold War. The author's father was the famous journalist Stewart Alsop. Her mother was a former code breaker for British intelligence who comes to America as a young bride and is challenged by the overwhelming task of being a constant Georgetown hostess, mother of six, and household manager. Underneath these lives one can discern the roles of women and men that were clearly and separately defined in the fifties.

The author writes about growing up with her siblings while living with the mood swings of an alcoholic mother and an emotionally distant father in the milieu of the political world of Washington including teas with Alice Roosevelt.

This fascinating memoir explores the communication between a mother and a daughter, shows the effect of Catholic teachings on family life, and illustrates the ability of Ms. Winthrop to successfully cross over the rickety bridge from one generation to the next. It is an understated testament to the courage of the author in leading the way to new understanding through her actions and her eloquence.

[Amelia Storck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daughter of Spies: Wartime Secrets, Family Lies is a poignant, illuminating memoir that deftly explores the intersection of family, secrecy, and history. Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop provides an intimate look into the life of a child raised amid the shadow of Washington power, the legacy of her parents’ ambitions, and the enigmatic presence of a mother trained as an MI5 decoding agent.

Alsop’s narrative is both deeply personal and historically resonant. She reflects on the complex dynamics of her family her father’s restless ambition, her mother’s strict Catholicism, and the silent, disciplined world shaped by wartime experience and the ways these forces shaped her own upbringing. The memoir captures the quiet intensity of a household where whispered conversations, private codes, and unspoken rules left lasting imprints on a daughter striving to understand her mother’s choices and the secrets that defined them.

Through candid reflection and graceful prose, Alsop examines the reverberations of secrecy, the nuanced impact of parental influence, and the effort to reconcile love with understanding. Daughter of Spies is essential reading for memoir enthusiasts, readers fascinated by espionage and history, and anyone drawn to deeply human stories of family, identity, and resilience.

[NC Heikin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book some days ago, and was left feeling moved, depleted, sympathetic, and admiring in the refined craft the author brought to fashioning this memoir. The structure is exceptionally well wrought, and her honesty, the depths she plumbs to depict the complexity of emotions she has and had for her mother is literally breathtaking. This book is an act of real courage by the author who examines her pain and resentment and her own failings, along with her love and honor toward her mother.

A unique contribution to understanding the preceding generation, forged as they were in war, as well as transparently communicating the spirit-shaking effects of living with an alcoholic parent. Thank you to the author for letting us into her world.

NC Heikin, filmmaker

[Richard Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daughter of Spies by Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop is an engaging insider's look at growing up with parents, Stewart and Tish, central figures in the "Georgetown Set." The author wonderfully alternates between childhood memories such as bugging the family dinner table, digging a Cold War fallout shelter in the yard, and absconding with Julie Nixon's doll with absolutely heartbreaking scenes of the relationship with her aging mother. I really empathized with both the young girl and the adult woman just trying to get any type of love, or even an ounce of appreciation, from her mother. Tish just seemed awful and Alsop's lifelong quest to understand her mother and never give up on their relationship provided equal measures of sadness and hope. Highly recommend this one!

[Brenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always loved reading autobiographies; none of them are rainbows and butterflies, and while that is sad, it's a strong reminder that everyone in this world fights battles that most of us know nothing about.

Adults were once mischievous children. Children want to experiment and push limits. People can abuse drugs and alcohol due to some triggering experience in their lives or simply by overindulging over and over until it's too late.

Being married to someone in recovery reminds me that at the core, people are people.

I enjoyed reading the life of Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop. Very well done.

[Ted Haussman · Rating 3 out of 5]

A poignant memoir that is more a love letter to the author’s mother about her life during World War II in London and marriage to her father, an American serving in the Royal Rifle Corps. The author attempts to come to grips with the abandonment of her mother from mothering and yet all of the obstacles her mother confronted that made her who she was. I especially enjoyed the pieces about her mom’s slide into dementia, her attempts to mother her own mother as this was occurring, and the ultimate passing of her mom — themes that I experienced in the not too distant past.

[Cindy Anderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why does the audio have an annoying British accent?? Why is the title completely untrue - not a single spy in the entire story!! This is some random person’s family history that had zero impact on anyone but this family. I found it to be mostly annoying and uninteresting. How it gets 4 stars is beyond me!!! The daughter, who is writing the story of her British mom, was raised in the U.S. and wouldn’t have had that accent. So - wrong genre and wrong voice to tell the story. That author should have written and read this story for her family ONLY!

[Noel Cisneros]

Alsop, frente a su madre enferma de demencia, reconstruye la vida de sus padres. Ella, una mujer nacida en Gibraltrar que durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial conoció a su padre; él, sobrino de Teddy Roosevelt que, luego de la guerra, se volvió un escritor y en un espía para los Estados Unidos. Interesante y por momentos conmovedora, aunque el estilo tiende innecesariamente a la llanesa.

[Bobbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic memoir that paints a colorful picture of a place and time in modern history. The world of the Georgetown Set is so interesting, and the author paints a vivid picture of her family life and her Catholic childhood. The chapter on role models was especially compelling. -Bobbie Marquis

[Judith Turner-Yamamoto · Rating 5 out of 5]

The work of a lifetime: the journey to understand one's parents. This incredibly layered, lushly detailed read is an emotional journey worth the taking. Beautifully written and evocative. Highly recommend.

[Vicky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down. Compelling, brave, honest, even a little bit ruthless. A portrait of an era as well as of a marriage, a family, and one of the most prominent journalists of his time. Also, beautifully written.

[Hughes Rosalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the historical story and the personal one. Beautifully researched and painstakingly and lovingly written. Reading a friend’s book is always reading on a deeper level, and this book gave me deep satisfaction. What a hard book to write and how well you did! Congratulations.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir trying unearth her mother’s story. Sometimes the jumping between thr past and present was a bit jarring, but she always brings it around to tie it up. (NB: I know the author slightly.)

[Chloe A · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully raw and courageous memoir. Even from the synopsis, it’s clear Elizabeth Winthrop Alsop digs deep into family secrets, motherhood, and identity with honesty and grace. This feels like the kind of book that stays with you long after you close it.

[Sarah (sarahandherbookshelves)]

I enjoyed this book. The author has a good writing style and was interesting to look into her life.

*received book for review *

[Leo Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A magnificent read!!! It gripped me emotionally!!!

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

an easy read, but the title doesn't matchthe storyline. Deceiving. Yet it is a very confusing read. She sometimes spoke of her mother as, "my mother" as her mother yet , at other times by "her name."