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Don't Sweat It: How to make 'the change' a good one
Funny, frank and optimistic - a refreshing and up-to-the-minute guide to menopause and perimenopause for the modern woman.Forget the myths and misinformation, respected health writer Nicky Pellegrino has done the work for you in this empowering and honest book. It includes the latest research on everything from hormone replacement therapy to natural therapies and hot flushes, and the lowdown on how menopause can affect everything from your weight to your memory and sleep, to skyrocketing anxiety levels and your missing libido . . .In this wonderfully candid, warm, and witty investigation into the realities of menopause, Nicky shares her own insights into this often-challenging phase of life, and interviews the experts for the latest, credible research on the many options out there to help women make the right choice for themselves.Taking an upbeat approach to managing 'the change', Don't Sweat It will help reshape how women experience menopause and perimenopause and show how life can be even better for it.
318 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 18, 2022
19 people are currently reading
108 people want to read
About the author
Nicky Pellegrino
23 books635 followersI was born and grew up near Liverpool, England. For a while I worked as a magazine journalist in London but then 21 years ago I came on holiday to New Zealand and met my future husband Carne Bidwill at a wedding. Now we live together near a beach in Auckland with our dogs Charlie the standard poodle and Lucy the pointer. I spend my time writing novels, working as a freelance journalist, riding my two horses, growing veges in my garden, cooking, trying to get other people to cook for me, eating and reading. There isn't much time for anything else except a little light housework.
My all-time favourite book is To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee and my book of 2013 was LIfe After LIfe by Kate Atkinson.
I have a website www.nickypellegrino.com
My all-time favourite book is To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee and my book of 2013 was LIfe After LIfe by Kate Atkinson.
I have a website www.nickypellegrino.com
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
August 3, 2022
More than flushes. #3wordbookreview
Good to have some NZ books on the subject of perimenopause / menopause. This was easy to read and informative. A bit anti-MHT. Give me all the drugs, thanks.
Good to have some NZ books on the subject of perimenopause / menopause. This was easy to read and informative. A bit anti-MHT. Give me all the drugs, thanks.
February 25, 2022
This book was super informative with a chatty, conversational tone. It was also nice that it has lots of examples from well known New Zealand women - local information that is also up to date! Recommended.
March 5, 2022
Great easy and informative read, well written for anyone wanting to know hats out thereto help us through our years of change
December 12, 2025
Excellent easy to read, chatty book. Informative and well researched. Great to have a book based in the Kiwi context too. Here are my notes for future reference:
I’ve decided there can’t be many menopausal women in hell because they wouldn’t put up with it. They’d band together, overthrow the devil and get the air conditioning turned up. – Karen Mills comedian
Oestrogen is like one of those quiet, conscientious workers who achieve a lot without any fuss, and only when they walk out of the job do you realise how much they did.
Mediterranean diet – SMILES trial – mood improves when diet improves.
Increasing Vitamin B6 and beef, salmon, tuna, chickpeas,oily fish can help reduce the severity of hot flushes. Edamame beans are very good.
Itchy bits – cool washes using dilute solution of bicarbonate of soda (1/2tsp in 1 litre of water) and applying natural sweet almond and avocado oils or vitamin E cream.
Website – my menopause doctor
Documentary Davina McCall’s Sex, Myths and the Menopause – on youtube
Naturopath in Christchurch Lara Briden – The hormone repair Manual book
Fast talking PI – Selina Tusitala Marsh
Menopause Over Martinis movement – online FB
My Menopause Transformation – Wendy Sweet- online program – reducing inflammation by eating well, managing stress and staying active in an appropriate way for your age and stage. Exercise should energise you, not exhaust you. Yes you need balance, strength, flexibility, cardiovascular fitness, but you don’t need ot be pushing yourself in a program designed for a high performance male.
Obesogens – chemicals that can make you fat. They re-program how our cells work in 2 main ways – they can promote fat accumulation through increasing the number and size of fate cells, or they can make it difficult to lose fat by changing our ability to burn calories. Obesogens include fungicides used on fruits and vegetables, compounds in plastic such as bisphenol A and phthalates used in everything from food packaging to cosmetics.
Microbiome – gut-flora-friendly diet – whole fruits and veges, fermented foods, seaweed and also they need resistant starches from plant fibres that the body can’t digest. Sources include onions, leeks, garlic, Jerusalem artichoke, asparagus and green bananas. If you cook and cool potatoes, pasta, green peas, beans and lentils that significantly increases the amount of resistant starch in them.
Aim for diversity of having 30 different plant foods a week.
Real food, mostly plants, not too much.
I’m pretty fearless these days. I like that a lot. Hot flushes are power surges and I use my awake patches in the night to plot revolution.
Since I arrived in midlife, I care much less about being liked and I’m not so concerned with being lovely. The unnecessary niceness has leached out of me along with my hormones. I don’t have time to waste being pointlessly polite to people who don’t deserve it.
There is masses of science to prove that exercise – particularly exercising the brain and body together is vital for the brain. One area that no more research is needed. Movement is the real miracle pill. Brain is 80% water and every chemical reaction in it depends on that water to occur.
Bones Cells called osteoclasts break down the bone’s matrix of collagen and minerals, releasing calcium into the blood stream for reuse in other parts of the body. Osteoblasts balance this out by forming new bone. The entire skeleton renews itself within 8-10 years. By age of 25 most of us reach our genetic peak bone mass. Later in life bone is broken down more quickly than it is formed. – need calcium and vitamen D. Zoledronate given by infusion every 18 months for those with osteoporosis and weak bones. Skeleton can be strengthened with exercise. Program Onero available online to improve strength, posture and balance. Lifting weights, body weight exercises and jumping/hopping. Averagte woman loses up to 10% of her bone mass in the first 5 years after menopause so most useful to start HRT soon after menopause to prevent osteoporosis
One of the best things about getting older is knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak
We are women, not marmalade – why should be have to be so well preserved?
Japanese concept ikigai – reason for being – venn diagram with four overlapping qualities – what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.
Exercise has a positive effect on brain metabolism, delaying cognitive decline. It increases the size of the hippocampus the part of the brain that controls short term memory. A Swedish study concluded that women with high CV fitness in middle age are nearly 90% less likely to develop dementia decades later compared to women who are only moderately fit. But even 10 minutes of gentle exercise is enough to imp[rove memory function.
5 exercise snacks – hopping on one leg for 2 minutes a day, sit to stand 1 minute, calf raises 1 minute, stationary bike/rowing machine, jog on the spot for 20 seconds, pushups/squats 20 seconds.
Telomerase boosting strategies – meditation, mindfulness, Kirtaan Kriya, qigong
He waka eke noa – we’re all in this together
I’ve decided there can’t be many menopausal women in hell because they wouldn’t put up with it. They’d band together, overthrow the devil and get the air conditioning turned up. – Karen Mills comedian
Oestrogen is like one of those quiet, conscientious workers who achieve a lot without any fuss, and only when they walk out of the job do you realise how much they did.
Mediterranean diet – SMILES trial – mood improves when diet improves.
Increasing Vitamin B6 and beef, salmon, tuna, chickpeas,oily fish can help reduce the severity of hot flushes. Edamame beans are very good.
Itchy bits – cool washes using dilute solution of bicarbonate of soda (1/2tsp in 1 litre of water) and applying natural sweet almond and avocado oils or vitamin E cream.
Website – my menopause doctor
Documentary Davina McCall’s Sex, Myths and the Menopause – on youtube
Naturopath in Christchurch Lara Briden – The hormone repair Manual book
Fast talking PI – Selina Tusitala Marsh
Menopause Over Martinis movement – online FB
My Menopause Transformation – Wendy Sweet- online program – reducing inflammation by eating well, managing stress and staying active in an appropriate way for your age and stage. Exercise should energise you, not exhaust you. Yes you need balance, strength, flexibility, cardiovascular fitness, but you don’t need ot be pushing yourself in a program designed for a high performance male.
Obesogens – chemicals that can make you fat. They re-program how our cells work in 2 main ways – they can promote fat accumulation through increasing the number and size of fate cells, or they can make it difficult to lose fat by changing our ability to burn calories. Obesogens include fungicides used on fruits and vegetables, compounds in plastic such as bisphenol A and phthalates used in everything from food packaging to cosmetics.
Microbiome – gut-flora-friendly diet – whole fruits and veges, fermented foods, seaweed and also they need resistant starches from plant fibres that the body can’t digest. Sources include onions, leeks, garlic, Jerusalem artichoke, asparagus and green bananas. If you cook and cool potatoes, pasta, green peas, beans and lentils that significantly increases the amount of resistant starch in them.
Aim for diversity of having 30 different plant foods a week.
Real food, mostly plants, not too much.
I’m pretty fearless these days. I like that a lot. Hot flushes are power surges and I use my awake patches in the night to plot revolution.
Since I arrived in midlife, I care much less about being liked and I’m not so concerned with being lovely. The unnecessary niceness has leached out of me along with my hormones. I don’t have time to waste being pointlessly polite to people who don’t deserve it.
There is masses of science to prove that exercise – particularly exercising the brain and body together is vital for the brain. One area that no more research is needed. Movement is the real miracle pill. Brain is 80% water and every chemical reaction in it depends on that water to occur.
Bones Cells called osteoclasts break down the bone’s matrix of collagen and minerals, releasing calcium into the blood stream for reuse in other parts of the body. Osteoblasts balance this out by forming new bone. The entire skeleton renews itself within 8-10 years. By age of 25 most of us reach our genetic peak bone mass. Later in life bone is broken down more quickly than it is formed. – need calcium and vitamen D. Zoledronate given by infusion every 18 months for those with osteoporosis and weak bones. Skeleton can be strengthened with exercise. Program Onero available online to improve strength, posture and balance. Lifting weights, body weight exercises and jumping/hopping. Averagte woman loses up to 10% of her bone mass in the first 5 years after menopause so most useful to start HRT soon after menopause to prevent osteoporosis
One of the best things about getting older is knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak
We are women, not marmalade – why should be have to be so well preserved?
Japanese concept ikigai – reason for being – venn diagram with four overlapping qualities – what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.
Exercise has a positive effect on brain metabolism, delaying cognitive decline. It increases the size of the hippocampus the part of the brain that controls short term memory. A Swedish study concluded that women with high CV fitness in middle age are nearly 90% less likely to develop dementia decades later compared to women who are only moderately fit. But even 10 minutes of gentle exercise is enough to imp[rove memory function.
5 exercise snacks – hopping on one leg for 2 minutes a day, sit to stand 1 minute, calf raises 1 minute, stationary bike/rowing machine, jog on the spot for 20 seconds, pushups/squats 20 seconds.
Telomerase boosting strategies – meditation, mindfulness, Kirtaan Kriya, qigong
He waka eke noa – we’re all in this together
February 10, 2025
Совершенно случайно попала на воркшоп о менопаузе. Я подумала, что мне ещё рано, но почему бы не начать готовиться заранее, ну и узнать, через что проходят знакомые мне женщины постарше. Оказалось, что я узнаю информацию уже слишком поздно, и начинать что-то предпринимать нужно было как минимум 10 лет назад!
Эту книгу порекомендовали на воркшопе. Автор - новозеландская журналистка. У неё очень бодрый живой слог, так что читается легко. Она попыталась разобраться в огромном массиве информации и последних научных исследованиях на тему менопаузы.
К сожалению, многие GP в Новой Зеландии не имеют специальной подготовки в области помощи при менопаузе, а кроме того, эта область знаний часто упускается из виду при слежении за последними веяниями в медицине, так что часто GP обладает устаревшей информацией и прописывают то, что уже доказанно не помогает, и не назначают то, что помогает и признано безопасным. Так что женщинам надо самим находить последнюю информацию или обращаться к более узким специалистам.
При горячих приливах может помогать гормонозаместительная терапия, которая раньше считалась небезопасной, а теперь, благодаря более современным препаратам и большей изученности, признана безопасной для более широкой группы.
Для поддержания хорошего здоровья в менопаузу и позже вообще в старости, нужно отказываться от алкоголя, кофе и нездорового питания, и заниматься спортом (но без фанатизма).
В книге много советов, что попробовать включать в рацион/исключать из рациона, как искать информацию, как искать помощь. А также приводятся истории знаменитых новозеландских женщин, прошедших менопаузу, они тоже делятся какими-то советами или просто круто почитать про их опыт - ну там ты не одна.
Это только первый шаг. Для меня через лет 10, когда это будет актуально, многое успеет измениться, но переходить на здоровый образ жизни надо уже сейчас.
Эту книгу порекомендовали на воркшопе. Автор - новозеландская журналистка. У неё очень бодрый живой слог, так что читается легко. Она попыталась разобраться в огромном массиве информации и последних научных исследованиях на тему менопаузы.
К сожалению, многие GP в Новой Зеландии не имеют специальной подготовки в области помощи при менопаузе, а кроме того, эта область знаний часто упускается из виду при слежении за последними веяниями в медицине, так что часто GP обладает устаревшей информацией и прописывают то, что уже доказанно не помогает, и не назначают то, что помогает и признано безопасным. Так что женщинам надо самим находить последнюю информацию или обращаться к более узким специалистам.
При горячих приливах может помогать гормонозаместительная терапия, которая раньше считалась небезопасной, а теперь, благодаря более современным препаратам и большей изученности, признана безопасной для более широкой группы.
Для поддержания хорошего здоровья в менопаузу и позже вообще в старости, нужно отказываться от алкоголя, кофе и нездорового питания, и заниматься спортом (но без фанатизма).
В книге много советов, что попробовать включать в рацион/исключать из рациона, как искать информацию, как искать помощь. А также приводятся истории знаменитых новозеландских женщин, прошедших менопаузу, они тоже делятся какими-то советами или просто круто почитать про их опыт - ну там ты не одна.
Это только первый шаг. Для меня через лет 10, когда это будет актуально, многое успеет измениться, но переходить на здоровый образ жизни надо уже сейчас.
February 8, 2025
What I liked: the research referenced, real-life anecdotes from women in Aotearoa (NZ), examples of exercises and supplements for bone and brain health while ageing, websites and other books to read.
I almost didn't keep reading after the first chapter but kept going - it's one person's perspective and there might be other useful information among the 'ladies who lunch' vibe I was getting. It felt all 'I'm a successful career woman, I'm fabulous, I have everything together and I have such a fulfilled life, I don't have time for silly menopause symptoms'.
It felt like it was written for a narrow audience and that didn't really include me. As much as I liked the excerpts from well-known Kiwi women, they were quite surface level. It felt a little bit like a contest to show how many people the author knows or can get to be involved with the book because of her job. Experiences from other women would have been good too. What would have helped (IMO) is the bit at the end being brought to the front about trying to reflect diversity, more work needs to be done and lots more voices to be heard.
I agree we need to break the patriarchal trope that menopause is bad, symbolises 'the end', is something that shouldn't be spoken about or is embarassing to mention even between women. And that ageing means losing agency. We need to stick together as women and not bring each other down, whether that's through age, weight, ability, race, socio-economic status, jobs, etc, etc.
I almost didn't keep reading after the first chapter but kept going - it's one person's perspective and there might be other useful information among the 'ladies who lunch' vibe I was getting. It felt all 'I'm a successful career woman, I'm fabulous, I have everything together and I have such a fulfilled life, I don't have time for silly menopause symptoms'.
It felt like it was written for a narrow audience and that didn't really include me. As much as I liked the excerpts from well-known Kiwi women, they were quite surface level. It felt a little bit like a contest to show how many people the author knows or can get to be involved with the book because of her job. Experiences from other women would have been good too. What would have helped (IMO) is the bit at the end being brought to the front about trying to reflect diversity, more work needs to be done and lots more voices to be heard.
I agree we need to break the patriarchal trope that menopause is bad, symbolises 'the end', is something that shouldn't be spoken about or is embarassing to mention even between women. And that ageing means losing agency. We need to stick together as women and not bring each other down, whether that's through age, weight, ability, race, socio-economic status, jobs, etc, etc.
June 2, 2022
I really wish I had read this book 10 years ago. The information it contains is hugely beneficial to those of us of a certain age (specifically, New Zealand women), although I've deducted one star for beating the HRT drum a little too often. My experiences haven't matched any example in the book, but I understand now what I can do about it, and look forward to coming out the other side. As the women quoted in the book say, we get books and pamphlets and school lessons on puberty, but no one ever prepares us for menopause. Not even all medical schools cover it, so GPs can also be unprepared. Here's hoping that the current openness on the subject, more research, and books like this make 'the change' much easier in the future.
March 18, 2023
Excellent reading, NZ focused so relatable for me.Practical/honest writing with shared stories from NZ women and holistic/ health practitioners. She writes on all aspects of menopause symptoms/ experiences and a wide range of helpful information which can be explored further with her extensive reference and further reading lists at the end.
Her writing explores so much and allows you to make up your own mind and gives you tools to how you will manage your own menopause. Highly recommended.
Her writing explores so much and allows you to make up your own mind and gives you tools to how you will manage your own menopause. Highly recommended.
May 1, 2022
A really accessible read in that it doesn't get bogged down by complicated science, is written in narrative style, laden with sensible opinion while still being evidence based. I love the author's positivity and reframing of menopause as a time of loss into a time of freedom and strength. Lots of helpful but not daunting suggestions for ageing well. Great that it's set in the NZ context too.
January 30, 2023
The best book I've read on Menopause
Absolutely wonderful book. I wish it was around a few years earlier when I began my menopause journey. Fabulous tips and good sound advice. Menopause has been a challenge physically, yet I am at the happiest time of my life. Thanks for this book Nicky.
Absolutely wonderful book. I wish it was around a few years earlier when I began my menopause journey. Fabulous tips and good sound advice. Menopause has been a challenge physically, yet I am at the happiest time of my life. Thanks for this book Nicky.
October 11, 2022
An easy read filled with important information. So true how as females we celebrate all aspects of change; puberty, motherhood etc, but not menopause. This book helped answer questions that I didn’t even know that I had. So thank you.
February 14, 2023
The first book I picked up on this topic, after realising that despite being in menopause (or am I post-menopausal?) I really don’t know much about it. A great, easy read, easy to absorb and a Kiwi flavour. I’m not sure I’ll enjoy the next book as much…
December 16, 2025
A really easy, useful read about perimenopause/menopause. Actually, this this be useful for anyone - husbands, partners, young and old. The more you understand the better off you are. Knowledge is power and all of that jazz.
March 20, 2022
Interesting read, factual and informative
May 4, 2022
Annoyed me at first, but I’m glad I kept reading. Good to read a New Zealand book about menopause. Range of references including Dr Jen Gunter and Lara Briden.
June 14, 2022
Easy read, interesting real life experiences- didn’t say anything revolutionary (for me) but important messages …
Read
June 19, 2022An excellent resource, clear and practical. I’m not there quite yet and now feel better informed if I need it.
July 27, 2023
Great easy read. I learnt a lot and found the writing style engaging and amusing. Recommend for anyone approaching or in their 40s.
December 31, 2023
Apart from a couple of small sections that felt like they were still maybe trapped in 90's diet culture, this was a well researched and easy to read book. I particularly liked that it was NZ focused.
October 3, 2024
Informative and easy to read.
July 13, 2025
Nicky remains one of my favourite authors, I love her foodie/romance/travel books. And in this book, I do like her overall message that we shouldn't define ourselves by menopause, that society is a bit crap toward older women, and ageing shouldn't and doesn't mean your life is over.
But...
Pellegrino's bias towards medicalizing menopause in this book really grates, as does her take that "herbs are unproven".
You can't claim to be a thorough researcher if the bulk of your 'research' is talking to women who hold similar points of view to you and are all taking HRT and singing its praises. The confirmation bias is pretty blatant throughout each chapter.
Where the actual research is referred to, it's downplayed if it doesn't fit the author's viewpoint and she fails to acknowledge the obvious, such as the fact less research is generally done on herbal medicine simply because there is less funding for it *because you can't patent herbs* ...and big pharma doesn't like/benefit from that!
As a health professional, some of the claims in this book are just unscientific, e.g., that caffeine and alcohol won't affect your menopause symptoms, so keep indulging sisters! These substances are known to cause adrenaline and cortisol surges (hello anxiety, hot flushes, night wakes, rage....), and deplete you of the magnesium and B vitamins needed to make those feel good, calming, sleep-supporting neurotransmitters - like serotonin and GABA.
Love her travel books but this one really disappointed - and scare mongers! Would have loved to see interviews included with women who have tried wholistic tools for balancing their hormones (nutrition, diet, lifestyle measures) and would have loved to see a few interviews with women who have not found menopause difficult and heard what they may have done differently.
But...
Pellegrino's bias towards medicalizing menopause in this book really grates, as does her take that "herbs are unproven".
You can't claim to be a thorough researcher if the bulk of your 'research' is talking to women who hold similar points of view to you and are all taking HRT and singing its praises. The confirmation bias is pretty blatant throughout each chapter.
Where the actual research is referred to, it's downplayed if it doesn't fit the author's viewpoint and she fails to acknowledge the obvious, such as the fact less research is generally done on herbal medicine simply because there is less funding for it *because you can't patent herbs* ...and big pharma doesn't like/benefit from that!
As a health professional, some of the claims in this book are just unscientific, e.g., that caffeine and alcohol won't affect your menopause symptoms, so keep indulging sisters! These substances are known to cause adrenaline and cortisol surges (hello anxiety, hot flushes, night wakes, rage....), and deplete you of the magnesium and B vitamins needed to make those feel good, calming, sleep-supporting neurotransmitters - like serotonin and GABA.
Love her travel books but this one really disappointed - and scare mongers! Would have loved to see interviews included with women who have tried wholistic tools for balancing their hormones (nutrition, diet, lifestyle measures) and would have loved to see a few interviews with women who have not found menopause difficult and heard what they may have done differently.
January 22, 2025
A mixture of science and anecdotes that left me feeling better informed and more hopeful about aging well and walking the transition with knowledge, self-compassion, and perhaps even my sense of humour intact!
January 22, 2022
Funny, informative and uplifting. I loved this book and found it so useful. Every chapter I read validated experiences that I was having, and made me feel seen.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews