Sacred Gender: Create Trans & Nonbinary Spiritual Connections

by Ariana Serpentine

A Cosmology of Trans and Nonbinary Spiritual Identities

Explore gender from a sacred perspective and learn how to turn dysphoria into euphoria. With suggestions for making devotion more inclusive, Ariana Serpentine empowers you to spiritually connect to your gender and incorporate it into your personal and group practice. Sacred Gender invites you to talk to your ancestors through the stars and introduces you to spirits and deities that can help you achieve self-actualization. Learn how to manifest your desires with sigil magic and identify affirming names, pronouns, clothes, and accessories with the smile test. Filled with thought-provoking journal prompts, reflection exercises, and a gender initiation, this beginner-friendly book encourages you to see parts of yourself that may have been obscured and liberate your spirituality from the gender binary.

Genres: Queer, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Gender, Witchcraft, LGBT, Audiobook

194 pages, Paperback

First published November 8, 2022

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate Sacred Gender by Ariana Serpentine and can definitely envision both recommending it to others and looking into more of the author’s work.

I very much appreciate that Serpentine takes a social constructionist view of gender, and explains it quite clearly in accessible terms noting, for instance, that “the qualities that we ascribe to gender may be innate, but those qualities are not necessarily gendered” [22]; she explains gender as a set of ideas or categories that are neither timeless nor universal in ways that will make sense to readers who have little prior familiarity with these ideas, which is fantastic. She also includes a clear and concise glossary of gender-related terminology which such readers will find useful.

As a pantheist who doesn’t work with deity in any personified way, some of the suggestions for ritual didn’t really apply to me, but I think they will speak to many readers (particularly those seeking to establish a polytheist practice that is gender affirming).

This book feels like it’s aimed at a few different audiences – trans folks who are just coming out or exploring their gender early on, trans folks who are beginning to explore Paganism and looking to establish a practice for themselves that incorporates their gender in good ways, trans folks who aren’t new to Paganism but who’ve had less-than-stellar experiences in groups due to trans-exclusionary norms who want to create explicitly gender-affirming ritual, as well as potential allies looking to understand gender diversity better and make Pagan group practice more inclusive. I think that given this, this book will resonate for many people; I also think that inevitably, with a broader focus like this, some parts of the book won’t be relevant to every single reader (which is fine). For myself, I have a background teaching Gender Studies so didn’t really need the intro to terminology, but I’m glad it’s there.

There are a few places where historical content isn’t entirely accurate (and should be referenced – there is a bibliography after all). As just one example, the ‘maiden-mother-crone’ triple goddess is not a concept that was “developed whole cloth by Rovert Graves” [38] – he was influenced strongly by earlier works by authors like Jane Ellen Harrison. But, this book is absolutely not a historically focused book, so I’d consider issues like this relatively minor in context.

[Enfys · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Sacred Gender” is fierce, wise, and an absolute must-read.

I’d been eagerly anticipating the new book "Sacred Gender" since I first heard about it earlier this year. When I finally got a review copy, I sat down to read it, and by page 17 I had to briefly set it aside and pick up my phone to text a bunch of my friends that they had to get this book.

This entire book is fire. It’s practical, metaphysically illuminating, deeply personal, and well-researched, of course, but it’s also the kind of book that will make you want to yell quotes from it while standing atop the nearest mountain, preferably with a bullhorn.

"Sacred Gender" comes out of the gate swinging. Take a peek at this tasty snippet from the introduction:

"[T]his book proceeds from the idea that transgender and nonbinary people understand themselves. This [book] is not a space where we will be providing arguments for our existence; we exist and always have and always will. Modern politics may rail against us, but that will not stop us from being. I have no interest in defending our right to exist; we have to spend too much of our energy on that already. I’m ready for deeper conversations, as I’m sure many others are."
-Sacred Gender, page 6

I joked with my partner as I read this book that I was going to run out of ink because I underlined, starred, and annotated so many passages throughout.

"Sacred Gender" is valuable for magickal practitioners on several levels. I gained new perspectives on some deities I’ve worked with before, and several I haven’t yet. I found some great new ways to articulate the concept of and my struggles with gender. I learned a new, super-affirming technique for asking people to share their pronouns in a social setting, particularly when they’re new to a community and possibly a bit nervous to share them. I’m excited to try some of the exercises for continued self-reflection as well, since self-awareness is a key part of being an effective magickal practitioner, and the work of understanding ourselves is never finished.

So, as I texted my friends, you absolutely must read this book. It’s fantastic, and it’s a book I will likely be citing repeatedly in a book I’m just starting to write. (Stay tuned for more details on that!)

BTW, I had the joy of interviewing the author, Ariana Serpentine, on 4 Quick Q’s last week. Watch the video and listen to her talk about the next book she’s writing (one I’m really excited about): https://majorarqueerna.com/4-quick-qs...

[sullen Swordsman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Haven’t fully figured out how to articulate my thoughts, but I’ll do my best.

On the one hand, it has some great ideas for trans, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming individuals to incorporate typically gendered entities and concepts, and the exercises could be especially useful for internal exploration and self-discovery. On the other hand, it retreads a lot of ground, discussing how cissexism has affected non-cis folks, how trans folks are sacred, etc. And for someone who struggles with grasping abstract concepts, this book might not help much with making the concept of gender clear.

I won’t say I learned nothing from this book or found it worthless, because it definitely does have stuff worth learning. But I’m past the point of learning “trans stuff 101” and there’s not enough spiritual knowledge or examples for me to be satisfied. This feels barebones currently, but has the potential to be expanded upon.

2.5/5 trans-headcanoned gods

[Ivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book both at the start of a journey of wanting to do more spiritual things in my life, but also while still being in a second gender crisis of a sort.

I used to identify as a trans guy but have lately shifted that to calling myself a nonbinary guy and this book definitely helped with that.
This book gave me many texts and exercises that made me think about my gender in a way I had never done before, or seen before. Most books or websites that help you with figuring out stuff keep it quite factual, while this book took it to a whole deeper level of exploring the self.

The way this book made me write about my gender was thus completely new to me and it ended up to be quite important to try it form this angle. The exercises gave me answers about myself I did not expect beforehand. The way I described my gender through them was way more nonbinary than I had anticipated. That definitely surprised me but I also was so glad to have found words for it because of the book.

This book also talks about trans ancestory and how to connect with your trans elders. I found this really difficult as I had never dabbled into these kind of things, but ended up enjoying it a lot. I still feel like I have a lot to learn though and I will come back to these passages soon again.

4.5 stars rounded up

[Sax Mahoney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I needed when I first was exploring paganism as a trans person. Often it feels like everything is broken up into the two camps of masculine and feminine in pagan traditions, so this book was a breath of fresh air. The author obviously knows what she is talking about and finds the space for trans people in pagan traditions that others have overlooked or ignored. If you are trans and want to learn more about paganism and where you could fit into it, definitely give this book a try.

[Sunny :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I struggle internally with many things that are covered in this book, and I found it to be both a cathartic and challenging experience. Serpentine heavily focuses on Ancestor work, which isn't really my jam, but there's variety in the activities and prayers she suggests, both spiritual/religious and secular. This is a great beginner/exploration book, it's a good introduction to queer gender-based self-exploration and magic, and incorporates casual language, personal anecdotes, and concrete steps to keep it from being too intimidating, esoteric, or cerebral.

[Bianca Beland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I only wish it was longer! I’ll definitely be reading anything else by the author. For anyone looking to be more inclusive in their spirituality, this should be a mandatory read.

Wonderful voice & great exercises!

[Mara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good. An interesting look at gender in pagan spaces

[Eli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a guide centering the experiences of trans and nonbinary people in spiritual spaces. It is an inclusive approach to exploring and expanding on ideas of what gender is, while also looking at gender through the shattered lens of current cultural standards. Removing that societal lens, author Serpentine gives us personal antidotes, exercises and journaling prompts to help the reader break down gender preconceptions to find their spiritual truths.

I wanted to love this book so much. I wanted to be like “yes, here is a book for my type of people, written by one of us”. And I was disappointed. There were multiple incidents of the author saying all are welcome in this space and that their target audience was trans and nonbinary people, and yet the writing continued to pander towards those who aren’t part of those marginalized groups. The first third of the book is an overview of vocab terms defined more for cis-heteronormative people than members of the queer community.

When Serpentine continued in the same vein of not quite writing to the queer community, stating that they weren’t here to argue about our right to exist, and then pointed out all the historical evidence that we’ve always been here, I was again let down. I know that we as queers want to be seen and known for who we are. But a book written for us by one of us does not need this much information on why we are valid. We know we are. Spend that energy on pages of content more useful and related to the subject matter.

The core message of the book was much appreciated, though. It speaks to the pantheist in me, the pagan kid who didn’t fit in with any part of the organized religions, including Wicca, when trying to find my path. I think the book will speak to others in a similar way, especially those who are newly out of the broom closet, or the rainbow one. As an avid journaler, I thought the prompts were thought-provoking and well done. Going through the prompts, even with knowing who I am to myself, helped clarify a few of the more lax ways I was labeling myself. I especially enjoyed the gender initiation ritual because I’d never had one before.

I would recommend this to any of the queers or questioners out there who are new to the community. Or to any of the queer community who might be seeking clarification on how they’re feeling about their gender and spirituality. It’s a bit too 101 for my liking.

Content Warnings:
Moderate
Mental illness, Transphobia, Dysphoria
Minor
Biphobia, Deadnaming, Hate crime, Homophobia, Misogyny, Lesbophobia, Cultural appropriation, Colonisation

None of the CW were mentioned in a way there were triggering to the average reader.

[Cameron Richert Hendrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sacred Gender is a lovely concept of a book, exploring the intersection of gender expression and the spiritual journey. As a practicing pagan of more than 20 years, I have only lately begun to see literature in the community that properly welcomes trans and nonbinary people. Unfortunately, a vast majority of pagan literature until now has been binary in its discussion of humans and the divine. This book aims to work against that and to make space for readers to understand themselves and their gender-queer peers along the spiritual journey. That's a big task, and I'd say the author delivers admirably, using a variety of techniques to provide as many different angles of approach as possible. Between personal narrative, guided meditations, ritual practices, and functional definitions of key terminology, Sacred Gender makes a great primer for anyone who is learning to explore their own gender or trying to understand the journey of another.

It's worth acknowledging that I listened to the audio version of this book, and there were pros and cons to that. For me, it was helpful to hear the narrator talk through some of the guided meditations. I can't tell you how many times I've read a book that's full of beautiful guided meditations with the suggestion that readers record themselves reading it or ask a friend to read for them. Does anyone actually do that? I never have. On the other hand, I couldn't easily mark the sections I might want to go back and review later, underline key phrases, and so on. Because the book also includes detailed guides for some ritual practices, a print version may be more suitable if you want to fully experience what this book offers. How you take it in just depends on how you prefer to learn and/or where you are in your journey. I do currently have a pretty good understanding of my gender identity as well as a well-established spiritual practice, so for me, it was enough to listen to the narration. I still found it helpful and inspiring to listen to a voice of solidarity and to engage in the creative thought exercises provided.

Readers who are already well acquainted with their own gender identity and are very well informed about modern gender terminology may find this book spends a little too much time defining and explaining some aspects of transness. I feel that's because the secondary audience for this work is allies who want to be better informed about gender issues but don't yet have a vocabulary for the subject. Personally, there were a few times when I wished the author had spent more focus on examples of transness in world mythologies. I don't need to be convinced that there is a need for trans-friendly spiritual spaces nearly as much as I want to learn about all the different deities who transcend gender norms -- and there are lots of those! I would definitely recommend this book as a primer on transness in spirituality, and I'll also be keeping an eye out for volumes that explore key aspects of the topic in greater depth.

[Emily Wynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

For a pantheist, Goddess-worshipping, ex-catholic transsexual woman whose entire life has been spent buried in books about mythology and ancient religion, piecing together a coherent spiritual practice while living in the culturally christian country of the US can be like trying to assemble fragments of tablets found buried in the sand, collected years or decades apart, written in a language I scarcely know how to translate in the first place. A book like Ariana Serpentine's is a gift from the Goddess, a guide I haven't found anywhere else. It's a Rosetta Stone for communicating with the gods and spirits inside myself and all around me.

In Sacred Gender a reader will find ways of interpreting the gods that other people have always ignored, but that are meant to speak directly to people like us. There are recommendations for rituals, worship practices, exercises and tools for introspection. This is the practical guide I always wanted that goes beyond merely translating or retelling stories of the gods and demonstrates how a trans person or anyone open to exploring and recognizing the reality of their own gender and sexuality can have a relationship with spirituality. It's a very important book, and desperately needed.

My favorite exercise asks the reader to describe your gender without using any traditionally gendered words - no "feminine", "masculine", boy things and girl things. With those as the rules, this is my gender:

At the foot of the mountain there is a pine forest, ancient and dark, shading the earth from the sun in the first week of spring. It is not sunny today, though; cloudy and grey all morning, in the afternoon it has begun to drizzle, saturating the blue of the pines and the green of the cedars.

At the edge of the forest away from the mountain there is a hill - upon closer inspection, it is an artificial mound or tumulus. There is a small cave in the face of the mound, surrounded by a doorframe of three massive stones which are overgrown with ages of moss and trailing ivy. The cave would be a perfect shelter from the rain. From within the mound, dry and safe, facing away from the mountain, the door looks west.

By evening the drizzle has stopped, and the clouds clear away enough for the stars to alight in the deep blue night. One star, the brightest, remains over the horizon on the west, shining directly into the doorway, almost casting shadows itself.

In the near distance a lion roars, but it retreats in fear from the sound of a hand drum accompanying a song of ceaseless, sustained keening.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Centering the experiences and perspectives of trans and nonbinary persons, Sacred Gender takes a spiritual approach to exploring gender and makes the case that no religious or spiritual path (or society) can be healthy or whole without the inclusion of all those whose gender identities cannot be wedged into a simplistic binary. Author Serpentine begins with a graceful overview of gender terminology and explains that gender is more than a physical or mental expression of identity: it is also spiritual in that it cannot be measured physically and yet makes a tremendous impact on the individual. Offering examples of gender variance throughout history and mythology, Serpentine gives the reader ways to deepen their understanding of gender and reintegrate trans and nonbinary perspectives into spiritual paths that too often rely on assumed male/female or masculine/feminine frameworks. Her particular strengths lie in examining the relationship of gender to ancestor work and deities as ways to find loving support within a polytheist or Pagan path.

The book includes exercises and journaling prompts to help the reader break down gender preconceptions and find personal spiritual truths. The appendix also provides thoughtfully crafted rituals for gender initiation to affirm one's identity in solitude or in community, a prayer for protection in a world that still threatens the safety of trans and nonbinary individuals, and other spells to incorporate gender into one's spiritual path in an uplifting way.

Overall, the book is an incredibly supportive guide for those who follow a polytheist path yet struggle to find space for their gender identity or even their gender questioning. It's also an excellent read for anyone seeking to understand, support, and be an ally for trans and nonbinary loved ones.

Thank you, Llewellyn Publications and NetGalley, for providing an eARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are solely my own.

[Helios · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can even begin to express how much of a blessing this book is. Getting an ARC for it and the opportunity to review it before it’s out has been an honor and a pleasure.

Ariana Serpentine is a gift both to the Pagan and to the trans community. This book is positive, reassuring, political in the best way possible, modern and empowering. Reading her words is like getting an hug from a wise mother, and I’m so grateful to exist in the same time as her. Hopefully I’ll get to read more and more books from her in the future.

As a non-binary Pagan practitioner living in a Christian household with some strongly transphobic relatives, of course, I’m not out of the closet or the broom-closet with many of them. This book felt like a long needed hug, it made me feel valid, strong, holy and powerful.

Sacred Gender is a beautiful tool and workbook for trans and non-binary Pagans, as well as cisgender allies seeking to make their trans peers feel included in their Pagan communities. The exercise in this book truly lead you towards a better understanding of yourself, which is essential both as a Pagan and a trans person.

Deeply in love with this book, again, it’s a real blessing.

[Tabitha · Rating 2 out of 5]

idk. it's *fine.* i was just kind of hoping for something more. it's very much a "here's how gender works and here's why we should be welcomed into spiritual spaces" type book. it seems catered more to baby trans folks and cis folks who want to be supportive. as someone who has been transitioning for a while now, it seemed a bit basic. i was hoping for more insight on the intersection between gender and spirituality, and less "here's how gender works and here's examples of trans people throughout history."

what spiritual advice was there was also not to my preference. the author is a polytheist, working with gods and spirits from multiple pantheons - celtic, nordic, greek, etc. i'm more interested in connecting to one particular spiritual tradition, rather than creating a mishmash of numerous ones. i also don't really work with gods. i was hoping she'd share more of her experiences with animism and other spiritual practices, rather than focusing so much on the pantheons.

as i said, i can see this book being useful to some people, particularly allies or people early in transition. however, for me, it fell flat on both a gender and a spiritual perspective.

[Kris Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a great book! I definitely felt seen, which is more than I can say these days. It was a bit of a tug of war for me as I thought that there would be more Wiccan teachings that I could take away from it. There were aspects where the book was teaching cis people and the leaders of their covens about being inclusive gender-wise. I do appreciate the author educating cis people how ignorant they’re being, however I guess I just wished there was more focus on those like myself who are non-binary to figure out how to practice even if eclectic. Like the deities on my arsenal are gendered and I’m grateful for more options to put into my arsenal. I just was hoping for more teachings perhaps. It definitely is great for those who identify as Wiccan and non-binary/trans. I just don’t want to share the same space with educating cis people with me elevating myself beyond the preliminaries I’ve already done to get to this point of knowing who I am.

[reese · Rating 5 out of 5]

As somebody who has been questioning where they fit in both in terms of gender and religion, I was very excited when netgalley approved my request to read this book. I went in hoping I could learn something about myself by reading this, and I did.

This book discusses the connections between transgender and nonbinary people and spirituality. It includes various gods who are or represent trans and nonbinary people, such as Dionysus, Loki, Hermes, and more.

It also includes a variety of exercises to help the reader learn more about, and help, themselves, as well as the people around them. I plan to take what I learned from this book and use it to grow.

This was a very intriguing read, I would recommend it to anyone who feels like they could learn something from it.

Thanks to netgalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Stevie Wiedl · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING AND HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!! I will say, I think this book would be really great for people who have newly come out, or don't know if they're trans or not, or for cis people. As someone who's been out for years now there were some exercises or journaling prompts that were unnecessary for me because of the journey I've been on. HOWEVER!! This is not to say I didn't gain new knowledge, understandings, or revelations while reading this! I learned a lot and truly enjoyed myself while reading this. In fact i nearly cried reading the chapter about ancestors while on the plane back home. Serpentine is a beautiful writer and fantastic at breaking down huge, and difficult topics for easy digestion. I deeply appreciate her work, and this book.

[Katie Driscoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really fun book to read! I’m not really the target market as I’m not a particularly spiritual or religious person but I am queer and enjoy learning about different perspectives and struggles in our community. I think some of the exploratory gender exercises in this book will be very helpful for people who haven’t done much self exploration in that direction! And even though I have done some of these things before it’s always useful to do them again to see if anything has changed.

This book will be very helpful to people who are interesting in things like tarot or other “mainstream mysticism” to make their practices and their language more inclusive and explanatory and even make their own practices more personal by exploring their own biases and assumptions.

[greyreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to netgalley for the arc. This should be mandatory reading for all pagans and witches, in my opinion. Serpentine writes with an elegance that goes straight to your heart and really makes you think. As a gender fluid nonbinary lesbian, pagan spaces can be…very binary, cissexist and gender essentialist. This is not inviting, and I end up feeling like I don’t fit in with my religion, same as I did when I grew up Catholic. This book has changed all that. The journaling prompts were fantastic as well! 5/5 stars.

[Salem Cook · Rating 3 out of 5]

First and foremost I would say I have positive thoughts overall for this book. My biggest issue, or more I guess just why I didn’t love it, is it feels much more for people who are just discovering their transness and/or interest in witchcraft. It also does tend to lean more guide for understanding transness and can feel repetitive if you’re not a baby trans or cis. I was hoping it would have more about the connections and intersections of transness and paganism while overall it feels very heavily focused on being a hand to hold for people new to these groups and identities.

[Ty · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of this book is relatively basic, introductory material on the intersection of gender and spirituality. An excellent crash course that gives a beginner like me new topics to consider and research. (For example, I'd never thought much about ancestor veneration, and now I'm reading more on that topic.) All in all, a fantastic first step in exploring either topic and how they interact.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great work! I think this expertly explores a missing piece within the spiritual community. I think I am going to make this a generational piece. My younger sibling could use this when they get a little older.

[Phoenix · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s very affirming to read this book as someone who’s under the trans umbrella. It’s like talking to someone who understands. However, I don’t get much from the paganism section. It’s not something I practice even when I consider myself a spiritual person.

[Colleen Newell]

What utter garbage. Only read this if you want to be separated from God forever if you actually believe this depositor of heresy

[Sam Bruetsch · Rating 3 out of 5]

nothing wrong with it, just more focused on gods than i’m personally interested in.

[K Kriesel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very introductory, great for beginners

[Heather]

Superb. This absolutely informed several of my magical practices after reading it, and helped me re-configure some of my (false) assumptions about my own identity.

[Meg Greer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really great book, not just for transgender or nonbinary individuals, but I also saw how good it could be for cisgender individuals to explore just exactly what gender means to them in their practice. The reading came off to me like having a conversation with a good friend who just happens to have a lot of knowledge of the subject. It never felt like it was heavy-handed or talked down to the reader for not knowing things.

I do feel like this book goes well with coming in at some point into your spiritual journey. Perhaps not an outright beginner so more of a 102 book of witchcraft/spirituality. The author also writes from a very open perspective so that you can really integrate this into any practice that you might be following.

One small thing I did notice that may turn off a couple of people, is while it does mention Norse and Celtic mythology. It leans very heavily into Greek, which is not surprising after learning that the author is connected to Dionisys. But it really wasn't hard to switch a few words around in the rituals written within to make it work for your own personal paradigm.