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Sea of the Patchwork Cats
Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .
Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.
Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone .
Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.
Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone .
112 pages, Paperback
First published February 21, 2006
6 people are currently reading
227 people want to read
About the author
Carlton Mellick III
119 books2,169 followersCarlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
November 4, 2025
I liked this one. It was weird. Kind of like being in a fever dream. The whole book felt that way. Didn't care for the ending as it did not truly end but kind of just stopped. Worth the read though.
October 24, 2011
For as weird as this book is, and trust me, there is enough weird here to ask for a to-go box, this ended up being a very understated and mellow story for Mellick. It might be due to the fact that there is very little dialogue and the narration is through the eyes of a depressed, alcoholic man who suddenly finds himself alone in the world.
The entire world commits suicide all at once, and the only reason the narrator can't do it is because he's too drunk at 11:34 in the morning to follow through. When he finally wakes from his stupor, he is alone and surrounded by suicides. Most have died in a violent or gruesome way, but discovering them after the fact, there is very little violence to be had in this story.
Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a quiet, melancholy tale that could qualify as Bizarro tragedy. There is a surprising amount of feeling and emotion under the surface, which is riddled with a string of seemingly unconnected oddities. The narrator finds himself adrift in a floating house after the sea swallows up the world. He comes across another floating structure that looks like two women back-to-back. This structure becomes a lifeboat when his floating house sinks, but before it goes down, he discovers half-woman, half-animal creatures encased in blocks of ice and manages to save three of them.
Mellick fans will find his signature strangeness in abundance with this one, but the story overall is more muted than normal. This is not a bad thing, as this particular piece of Bizarro seems to really care about its characters, which is not always the case.
The entire world commits suicide all at once, and the only reason the narrator can't do it is because he's too drunk at 11:34 in the morning to follow through. When he finally wakes from his stupor, he is alone and surrounded by suicides. Most have died in a violent or gruesome way, but discovering them after the fact, there is very little violence to be had in this story.
Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a quiet, melancholy tale that could qualify as Bizarro tragedy. There is a surprising amount of feeling and emotion under the surface, which is riddled with a string of seemingly unconnected oddities. The narrator finds himself adrift in a floating house after the sea swallows up the world. He comes across another floating structure that looks like two women back-to-back. This structure becomes a lifeboat when his floating house sinks, but before it goes down, he discovers half-woman, half-animal creatures encased in blocks of ice and manages to save three of them.
Mellick fans will find his signature strangeness in abundance with this one, but the story overall is more muted than normal. This is not a bad thing, as this particular piece of Bizarro seems to really care about its characters, which is not always the case.
July 23, 2019
I remember this being fabulous.
July 2, 2020
This was a solid quirky read about the entire world committing suicide at once except for one man who was so drunk he didn't "get that supernatural urge." After he wakes up he realizes the world is strange and he stumbles across a woman with reptile skin... and together they discover oddddddd things! This would be a great intro to Mellick as it is not gross, profane, or overly sexy... and his writing style and unique imagination is brought to the surface. 4 stars!
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January 19, 2023My second Carlton Mellick III book and I liked this one, too! So bizarre! I’m actually surprised I like his work. The titles of some of his books are so ridiculous that I almost didn’t give him a chance lol I really like weird stuff and he delivers. I wish this one had been longer!
March 18, 2017
What do you get when you mix a worldwide phenomenon of mass suicide, a floating house, reptile women, cats, and a giant statue of conjoined naked women floating out in the middle of the ocean? You get this: a story that goes nowhere, makes little to no sense, and doesn't even attempt to explain anything!
I really didn't get this book. What was Mellick trying to accomplish? What story was he trying to tell? There are so many weird and confusing moments in this book and while I'm all for the bizarro genre and have enjoyed Mellick's work in the past (Clusterfuck, Zombies & Shit and the Werewolf Women series are all great examples of how well this sub genre can be written) Patchwork Cats just didn't do it for me.
I really didn't get this book. What was Mellick trying to accomplish? What story was he trying to tell? There are so many weird and confusing moments in this book and while I'm all for the bizarro genre and have enjoyed Mellick's work in the past (Clusterfuck, Zombies & Shit and the Werewolf Women series are all great examples of how well this sub genre can be written) Patchwork Cats just didn't do it for me.
July 13, 2015
honestly, this might be one of my favorite cm3 stories of all time. it's possible that I'm just a little fucked up, but cats are adorable, and this story was just... interesting. admittedly, like most of the short stories he writes, cm3 leaves roughly 9/10 questions unanswered and mysterious, but I kind of like that part of his stuff, too.
not to mention, I've actually never come across a girl he wrote that I didn't really, really like. they're all unique and cool, for lots of reasons including but not limited to the fact that most of them are not the same species.
not to mention, I've actually never come across a girl he wrote that I didn't really, really like. they're all unique and cool, for lots of reasons including but not limited to the fact that most of them are not the same species.
August 4, 2020
Truly one of the weirdest books i've ever read. Not one aspect of the story made sense, yet from the moment I started reading the book it cast its bizarre spell on me and I was unable to put it down once. Spectacular imagery.
October 27, 2018
"Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time."
If that's not one of the greatest opening lines of all time I don't know what is. Such an amazing hook. What follows is a nightmare in narrative form. I must say its very understated for Mellick - this one's far more surreal than pushing boundaries of taste and decency - Our hero Conrad (and we don't even learn his name until over half-way through) is an alcoholic who survives the mass suicides by being unconscious on the floor of a bar at the time - he finds a house to squat in which turns out to be some form of Noah's arc with frozen female animal hybrids encased in ice inside.
Other than hating the hero, I rather enjoyed this. The story meanders rather and there's a great deal of dream logic but the imagery is amazing and imaginative. It is just like he's written out a nightmare and fleshed it out a little - It's very weird, but short and sweet and being a novella kind of excuses its lack of plot and explanations.
If that's not one of the greatest opening lines of all time I don't know what is. Such an amazing hook. What follows is a nightmare in narrative form. I must say its very understated for Mellick - this one's far more surreal than pushing boundaries of taste and decency - Our hero Conrad (and we don't even learn his name until over half-way through) is an alcoholic who survives the mass suicides by being unconscious on the floor of a bar at the time - he finds a house to squat in which turns out to be some form of Noah's arc with frozen female animal hybrids encased in ice inside.
Other than hating the hero, I rather enjoyed this. The story meanders rather and there's a great deal of dream logic but the imagery is amazing and imaginative. It is just like he's written out a nightmare and fleshed it out a little - It's very weird, but short and sweet and being a novella kind of excuses its lack of plot and explanations.
July 28, 2022
It was quite a strange book which is to be expected with the author. But it took til almost the end to even start making sense and the end had me wishing there was just a bit more to be said. Not an awful read but left me a bit Disappointed.
January 25, 2025
Yes! Yes! Yes!!!! Bizarro at its best! Surreal but understandable, incredibly strange and thought provoking, giving you tons of questions with no answers but as a reader you are always invested in the story.
June 2, 2020
Tame for Mellick. A lovely distraction.
October 29, 2020
So weird, but I loved it. Weird is good
March 5, 2021
Overall it was a really good book. Pretty mellow for Mellick, but it was a nice change of pace.
June 2, 2021
Very strange. Very original. Very Mellick.
February 6, 2022
It started good just got away from him. Definitely not his best work
April 5, 2022
This book kinda feels like Carlton Mellick sat down with his pen and paper, took a bunch of acid and then just wrote wherever his mind took him.
Not really a fan of this style of writing.
Not really a fan of this style of writing.
August 26, 2022
This is the first "full length" Mellick book I've read. I sped read through the first half and finished the rest quietly. Overall I enjoyed it but felt it ended too early.
October 8, 2022
It took me my second C. M. III book to get the gist of bizarro horror as a genre: 1) what the fuck 2) that's the point 3) me likey
July 8, 2011
Sea of Patchwork Cats by Carlton Mellick III begins with Conrad, a drunk, lonely, wretch of a man failing to commit suicide, while the rest human race kills itself off. It would appear he is cursed from the very beginning, yet instead of succumbing to failure one last time, he unknowingly embarks on a watery adventure with several frozen female stow-aways who are more than just human.
When from his vessel (a mansion stocked with some food and certainly not enough liquor) he sees a strange dwelling shaped like conjoined women mysteriously located in the middle of the sea, he steers the house into the strangest drunken dream-like experience ever imagined.
In the sea structure called Nerve Works Conrad starts to transform from the self-loathing drunkard, despite still being able to get loaded as the house offers whatever he desires. While having to put up with three cross-species of rather tempermental women, countless cats, and a mysterious female figure with an ominous, ghostly presence, Conrad also struggles with his new self, one who is only required to enjoy life.
What begins as a story about a drunk becomes a story about a man who gets a very weird second chance at life. It certainly works also as a skewed re-creation story, and definitely a must-read for fans of one of the finest authors the Bizarro family can provide. Any true lover of fiction that goes beyond all genres would devour Carlton Mellick III's Sea of the Patchwork Cats.
When from his vessel (a mansion stocked with some food and certainly not enough liquor) he sees a strange dwelling shaped like conjoined women mysteriously located in the middle of the sea, he steers the house into the strangest drunken dream-like experience ever imagined.
In the sea structure called Nerve Works Conrad starts to transform from the self-loathing drunkard, despite still being able to get loaded as the house offers whatever he desires. While having to put up with three cross-species of rather tempermental women, countless cats, and a mysterious female figure with an ominous, ghostly presence, Conrad also struggles with his new self, one who is only required to enjoy life.
What begins as a story about a drunk becomes a story about a man who gets a very weird second chance at life. It certainly works also as a skewed re-creation story, and definitely a must-read for fans of one of the finest authors the Bizarro family can provide. Any true lover of fiction that goes beyond all genres would devour Carlton Mellick III's Sea of the Patchwork Cats.
February 1, 2010
See, this is why I talk about the bizarros so much. Because in the midst of so much oddness, so much bizarro-ness, most of the novels present an intense look at the human condition. The purpose of these books may be to entertain rather than provoke thought or contemplation, but many of these writers do both far better than mainstream novelists who set out with those goals in mind. That there is no internal, at times interminable, dialogue wherein the narrator over-analyzes his failures makes it all the more real. You see it. The immediacy of his failure to act is visceral and you know the agony is there without it needing to be spelled out for you. You feel it with every drink the narrator takes after he flees the hospital district. The best part of bizarros is that of all the genres, this is the one where you will consistently find writers who genuinely know how to show and not tell. Read all of review here: http://ireadoddbooks.com/?p=381
October 25, 2024
Bizarro fiction at its best.
March 31, 2010
I knew going into this book that it'd be bizarre (it is categorized as "bizarro fiction", after all) and it certainly delivered on that promise. A fun, quick, off-the wall read with just enough shudder-inducing grotesqueness to satisfy my twisted side without going too far off the deep end. I do have a hard time reconciling the length of this book with the cover price - the thing is essentially a 50-page short story, published as a 200-page novella, with a $10 price tag. Maybe its just me, but I find that mildly offensive. My understanding is that almost all of Carlton Mellick III's are stories are like this, so I doubt I'd buy another unless some enterprising publisher put a bunch of them together in an anthology. I would like to read more of them, though, for pure WTF entertainment.
August 20, 2014
A truly dreamlike (and sometimes nightmarish) novella. Brings to mind the eerie wonder and simplicity of children's literature, the psychotronic surrealism of cult movies watched on VHS, and the over-the-top nastiness of splatterpunk and ero guro. Sweet and sticky and disturbing, like cotton candy spun from angel brains.
April 13, 2016
Definitely one of Mellick's weirdest, at least in how surreal it is. Has a bit of a melancholic edge to it. I would say that, of his short novellas, this is one of his best. Also, it's got cats and human/animal hybrids, and those are always awesome.
August 1, 2009
A very weird, but enjoyable post-apocalyptic yarn. The end leaves a lot to be desired, but worth the cover price
December 17, 2015
Would be my favorite Carlton book ever if it wasn't for the ending.
June 25, 2020
Sort of like the bible, except jesus is an alcoholic and there is a cat queen that must breed. Short and strange.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 12, 2023
I’m falling more in love with the bizarro genre and CM2’s writing with every book I read. Ugh.
This one was a lot of fun!
This one was a lot of fun!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews