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The Tiger and the Cage: A Memoir of a Body in Crisis
For readers of Susannah Cahalan’s Brain on Fire and Porochista Khakpour’s Sick , this exquisitely wrought debut memoir recounts a lifelong struggle with chronic pain and endometriosis, while speaking more broadly to anyone who’s been told “it’s all in your head”
In Catholic grade school, Emma Bolden has a strange experience with a teacher that unleashes a short-lived, persistent coughing spell—something the medical establishment will later use against her as she struggles through chronic pain and fainting spells that coincide with her menstrual cycle.
With The Tiger and the Cage , Bolden uses her own experience as the starting point for a journey through the institutional misogyny of Western medicine—from a history of labeling women “hysterical” and parading them as curiosities to a lack of information on causes or cures for endometriosis, despite more than a century of documented cases. Recounting botched surgeries and dire side effects from pharmaceuticals affecting her and countless others, Bolden speaks to the ways people are often failed by the official narratives of institutions meant to protect them.
Bolden also interrogates a narrative commonly imposed on menstruating the expected story arc of marriage and children. She interrogates her body as a painful site she must mentally escape and a countdown she hopes to beat by having a child before a hysterectomy. Only later does she find language and acceptance for her asexality and the life she needs to lead. Through all its gripping, devastating, and beautiful threads, The Tiger and the Cage says what Bolden and so many like her have needed to I see you, and I believe you.
In Catholic grade school, Emma Bolden has a strange experience with a teacher that unleashes a short-lived, persistent coughing spell—something the medical establishment will later use against her as she struggles through chronic pain and fainting spells that coincide with her menstrual cycle.
With The Tiger and the Cage , Bolden uses her own experience as the starting point for a journey through the institutional misogyny of Western medicine—from a history of labeling women “hysterical” and parading them as curiosities to a lack of information on causes or cures for endometriosis, despite more than a century of documented cases. Recounting botched surgeries and dire side effects from pharmaceuticals affecting her and countless others, Bolden speaks to the ways people are often failed by the official narratives of institutions meant to protect them.
Bolden also interrogates a narrative commonly imposed on menstruating the expected story arc of marriage and children. She interrogates her body as a painful site she must mentally escape and a countdown she hopes to beat by having a child before a hysterectomy. Only later does she find language and acceptance for her asexality and the life she needs to lead. Through all its gripping, devastating, and beautiful threads, The Tiger and the Cage says what Bolden and so many like her have needed to I see you, and I believe you.
368 pages, Paperback
First published October 18, 2022
17 people are currently reading
2937 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
January 10, 2023
Powerful. Raw. Revealing. Inspiring. "It was almost friendly, the way pain felt familiar, like a sister you have to love because she is your own blood."
Bolden is one of my favorite contemporary literary writers. She is simply brilliant, and this nonfiction memoir further cements her unique talents to be philosophical and poetic and deeply insightful all at once. Her journey through a history of endometriosis and further physical complications is jaw droppingly horrific (detailed but not too graphic). This book highlights the failure of the somewhat historically new medical community, run mostly be males, to treat women's issues. And the pharmaceutical companies that deliberately mislead the public about the toxicity of their drugs, even to the point of warning men of side effects, but not women. She also tackles the dawning of understanding she is asexual. And the inherent prejudice society has toward people who don't have strong sexual needs.
I was crying in sympathy and anger by the end of the book. Totally in awe of my friend who has kept this hidden all the years I've known her as she outwardly appears to successfully navigate a teaching and writing career. She is now one of my heroes.
Every woman should read this book, and I sure wish some men would read it as well, to understand what so many women deal with, hide, soldier through (I now understand some of my friends who have struggled with this better as well). I said it was inspiring because you read this and say my gosh, if she can handle all that and continue on, I can, too. She manages somehow to never hit the self-pity button and in fact has a gift I've never seen in her writing before for wry humor. Despite the darkness, I had many LOL moments, too. And I want to meet her mother. In the same way I wanted to meet Michelle Obama's father. Strong and supportive parenting obviously begets strong children.
Brava, Emma Bolden!
Bolden is one of my favorite contemporary literary writers. She is simply brilliant, and this nonfiction memoir further cements her unique talents to be philosophical and poetic and deeply insightful all at once. Her journey through a history of endometriosis and further physical complications is jaw droppingly horrific (detailed but not too graphic). This book highlights the failure of the somewhat historically new medical community, run mostly be males, to treat women's issues. And the pharmaceutical companies that deliberately mislead the public about the toxicity of their drugs, even to the point of warning men of side effects, but not women. She also tackles the dawning of understanding she is asexual. And the inherent prejudice society has toward people who don't have strong sexual needs.
I was crying in sympathy and anger by the end of the book. Totally in awe of my friend who has kept this hidden all the years I've known her as she outwardly appears to successfully navigate a teaching and writing career. She is now one of my heroes.
Every woman should read this book, and I sure wish some men would read it as well, to understand what so many women deal with, hide, soldier through (I now understand some of my friends who have struggled with this better as well). I said it was inspiring because you read this and say my gosh, if she can handle all that and continue on, I can, too. She manages somehow to never hit the self-pity button and in fact has a gift I've never seen in her writing before for wry humor. Despite the darkness, I had many LOL moments, too. And I want to meet her mother. In the same way I wanted to meet Michelle Obama's father. Strong and supportive parenting obviously begets strong children.
Brava, Emma Bolden!
October 15, 2022
Not me crying at the end of THE TIGER AND THE CAGE: A Memoir of a Body in Crisis by Emma Bolden! I loved this memoir! Emma shares her experiences growing up and living with chronic menstrual pain and endometriosis. I loved the writing style which included short chapters and a conversational tone while also imparting medical information. It’s really remarkable how much her body endured. I appreciated her discussing asexuality. It was especially emotional the moments when she would find community with others who went through similar experiences. I found this to be an important read that sucked me in right away from the first chapter. This is a five star read for me. What an amazing debut memoir!
Thank you to Soft Skull Press for my gifted review copy!
Thank you to Soft Skull Press for my gifted review copy!
October 28, 2022
This book is utterly exquisite in its poetic rendering of a 20-year journey through chronic pain starting when the author is 11 and navigating the muddy medical conditions that date back centuries but have been met with dismissal and derision. Emma Bolden’s memoir weaves together across 137 elegantly tense bursts, a raw look at losing control of one’s body, agency, voice and hope.
Its elemental loops of water, fire and ice intersect with the elements of the human existence: blood, organ, bone, psyche. They fracture and reassemble over the course of endless trips to the doctor, unanswered questions, medical trauma, and shameful silence.Scar after scar. Pain upon pain. It’s nervy language-rich writing that both feels deeply at at times is distinctly clinical. Layered with historical notes of treatments and rehabilitation programs for other hysteria-suffering women, the seemingly inconsiderate and ambivalent medical complex and the context of growing up Catholic, the memoir is bigger than one women’s journey—it asks (and doesn’t feign having the answers) questions about responsibility, oaths, compassion, agency, sexuality and societal expectations.
Bolden’s experience could rightfully trend toward martyrdom, but instead, it’s a specimen she examines from every facet her curious mind can conjure. Still darkly funny amidst the blood and pain, Bolden’s bravery comes through in humor and her steely wielding of language to find visceral ways to say that which has gone unsaid for decades.
A masterful, powerful narrative that traps the reader in the echoes of pain, the stark rendering of disaster after disaster and holds fast until the last page.
Emma is a brilliant writer.
Its elemental loops of water, fire and ice intersect with the elements of the human existence: blood, organ, bone, psyche. They fracture and reassemble over the course of endless trips to the doctor, unanswered questions, medical trauma, and shameful silence.Scar after scar. Pain upon pain. It’s nervy language-rich writing that both feels deeply at at times is distinctly clinical. Layered with historical notes of treatments and rehabilitation programs for other hysteria-suffering women, the seemingly inconsiderate and ambivalent medical complex and the context of growing up Catholic, the memoir is bigger than one women’s journey—it asks (and doesn’t feign having the answers) questions about responsibility, oaths, compassion, agency, sexuality and societal expectations.
Bolden’s experience could rightfully trend toward martyrdom, but instead, it’s a specimen she examines from every facet her curious mind can conjure. Still darkly funny amidst the blood and pain, Bolden’s bravery comes through in humor and her steely wielding of language to find visceral ways to say that which has gone unsaid for decades.
A masterful, powerful narrative that traps the reader in the echoes of pain, the stark rendering of disaster after disaster and holds fast until the last page.
Emma is a brilliant writer.
March 30, 2023
This should be required reading for anyone who has a say (rightly or wrongly) over a woman's medical care.
October 30, 2022
Beautiful amazing stunning breathtaking stupendous I love women
December 7, 2022
This memoir made my heart hurt. Emma has problems with her reproductive organs from a young age, and the medical system in America fails her horribly. Sheets soaked with blood, horrendous pain, limbs that lose feeling, and doctors who don’t believe her. Well worth the read.
3.5/5
3.5/5
July 17, 2024
This was incredibly brutal. Took me months to read and it will likely take me years to recover from, if ever.
Genuinely one of the most horrifying books I've ever read (so five stars, obviously).
Genuinely one of the most horrifying books I've ever read (so five stars, obviously).
February 21, 2023
Well, life doesn’t always turn out how you expect it to.
Emma Bolden’s memoir was very personal for me to read because like her, I too have endometriosis and it is something that very much dictates my life.
Her crippling pain is something that I share, with some days being unable to move from the pain that I am in.
The pain medications that I am on causes it’s own side effects from stomach ulcers, reflux, dizziness and drowsiness.
Just more things to keep a track of and treat.
The dismissal of her condition and symptoms by the medical community is also something that I know all too well, and one that I think many women can attest to, not just for endometriosis.
As for the non-personal aspects of the memoir, Bolden’s writing read like literary fiction and becoming too overwrought for my tastes at times.
“[…] waiting for my mothers Buick to float its way through the carpool line like an embarrassing boat”.
But for the most part Bolden’s memoir was very engaging and oftentimes, maddening too.
It was wonderful to feel so seen in a piece of work but heartbreaking that so many of us deal with this disease, which is little known and has no cure except for the removal of a major organ.
Recommended for: anyone without a uterus and anyone with a uterus.
Emma Bolden’s memoir was very personal for me to read because like her, I too have endometriosis and it is something that very much dictates my life.
Her crippling pain is something that I share, with some days being unable to move from the pain that I am in.
The pain medications that I am on causes it’s own side effects from stomach ulcers, reflux, dizziness and drowsiness.
Just more things to keep a track of and treat.
The dismissal of her condition and symptoms by the medical community is also something that I know all too well, and one that I think many women can attest to, not just for endometriosis.
As for the non-personal aspects of the memoir, Bolden’s writing read like literary fiction and becoming too overwrought for my tastes at times.
“[…] waiting for my mothers Buick to float its way through the carpool line like an embarrassing boat”.
But for the most part Bolden’s memoir was very engaging and oftentimes, maddening too.
It was wonderful to feel so seen in a piece of work but heartbreaking that so many of us deal with this disease, which is little known and has no cure except for the removal of a major organ.
Recommended for: anyone without a uterus and anyone with a uterus.
March 1, 2023
Searing - the Great American Endometriosis Memoir, at last.
January 20, 2023
The Tiger and the Cage is a beautifully written memoir of harrowing experience; what happens to a woman - a girl, at the offset - whose body doesn't follow the expected trajectory for females, whose every menstrual cycle produces nothing like the myriad of cramps and low feelings so often experienced, but pain so excruciating that the girl is actually fainting? What happens when this is not an awful stage that her young body is passing through, but the beginning of a life of suffering and endurance, a hard stoned road from which there is no stepping away?
Emma Bolden is a magical, timeless writer and poet. Her poetry (including the award winning collection “House is an Enigma") is both ethereal and earthy. This recounting of a previously unimaginable life is made the more astonishing by the grace with which she tells her story. Not surprised that I found myself feeling rage at the incompetence of certain members of the medical field, a well of sorrow at the completely random, unfair nature of the author's experience- but pretty well shocked to find myself occasionally laughing at her dark humor, and often immersed by the plainly worded history of the medical treatment of women, stories that need to be told.
But it's Emma's own story that left me spellbound, for her courage and for her facility with language in the face of a physical life that would render most speechless. The Tiger and the Cage is savage, wrenching, captivating and memorable.
Emma Bolden is a magical, timeless writer and poet. Her poetry (including the award winning collection “House is an Enigma") is both ethereal and earthy. This recounting of a previously unimaginable life is made the more astonishing by the grace with which she tells her story. Not surprised that I found myself feeling rage at the incompetence of certain members of the medical field, a well of sorrow at the completely random, unfair nature of the author's experience- but pretty well shocked to find myself occasionally laughing at her dark humor, and often immersed by the plainly worded history of the medical treatment of women, stories that need to be told.
But it's Emma's own story that left me spellbound, for her courage and for her facility with language in the face of a physical life that would render most speechless. The Tiger and the Cage is savage, wrenching, captivating and memorable.
October 27, 2022
This book is a stupendous work of raw honesty, anger, sadness- what the medical industry does to women is awful; what it did to Emma Bolden is a horrible. If you have a female body, even if you haven’t experienced exactly what Bolden did, you’ll be familiar with the brush-offs, the medical notes conveniently missing from your file, the “it’s all in your head, dear” responses from doctors and nurses when you’ve tried to explain what’s Actually Physically Happening To You.
This book is so good, so sad, so meaningful. I hope it helps women find their voices- I hope it lets us all know that in our suffering, we really aren’t alone.
This book is so good, so sad, so meaningful. I hope it helps women find their voices- I hope it lets us all know that in our suffering, we really aren’t alone.
September 22, 2024
Would give this book 4.5/5 stars!! It broke me. Beautifully written, and so raw. I think it was easier for me to understand how the protagonist felt since I’ve gone through similar experiences, but I wish there had been perhaps a little bit more musing? The structure with the short chapters also sometimes felt a bit abrupt, but overall this story was compelling, thought-provoking, and a must read.
October 24, 2022
I’ll find words, sometime, maybe.
August 28, 2023
Boy am I out of sync on this book. I was lured to it by the cover, looked like it would be a story of a young black women, WRONG. It was an extremely graphic look at endometriosis and all her other ailments. I felt like I was reading a medical text and a sex manual all wrapped up as a memoir!!
I would not recommend this book unless you have a strong stomach. I am so anti medical I don’t know how I got through it. The writing was good and I kept hoping her luck would turn around and I’d be left with a happy ending, NOT! I would have thought her nightmare experiences would have warranted a malpractice lawsuit. Guess that wasn’t an option.
I would not recommend this book unless you have a strong stomach. I am so anti medical I don’t know how I got through it. The writing was good and I kept hoping her luck would turn around and I’d be left with a happy ending, NOT! I would have thought her nightmare experiences would have warranted a malpractice lawsuit. Guess that wasn’t an option.
December 20, 2023
This book is really difficult. It’s painful and made me cry and took me a long time to finish because I didn’t want to go through all of the horrors that she went through. But it is an important and brave and something that needs to be discussed.
By chance I came across The Retrievals podcast while I was taking a break from this book, the story about women suffering severe pain while undergoing fertility procedures at Yale who were not taken seriously by their doctors.
There is a problem with the way the medical industry treats women, and women’s pain, and the more it is discussed, the more it is brought out into the open, the better chance we have of finding resolution.
By chance I came across The Retrievals podcast while I was taking a break from this book, the story about women suffering severe pain while undergoing fertility procedures at Yale who were not taken seriously by their doctors.
There is a problem with the way the medical industry treats women, and women’s pain, and the more it is discussed, the more it is brought out into the open, the better chance we have of finding resolution.
June 17, 2023
Such a beautifully written memoir. Bolden’s prose is hypnotic. ❤️❤️❤️
November 15, 2023
oof, this was so hard to read, content-wise. i want to throw this book in the hands of every medical student as an example of what NOT to do, and tell them that if the behavior of the doctors in this book seems "normal" or "reasonable" to gtfo of this career path. as someone with autoimmune diseases/chronic illness who has had symptoms since childhood, i related to a lot of the author's struggles, was too triggered by others, and grateful that i didn't endure the full gamut of pain/dismissal/full on medical abuse that she did. goddamn. this is NOT a hopeful read, but it is real.
November 10, 2025
stressed me tf out
April 15, 2025
Jesus Christ….
October 9, 2022
a gorgeous, perfect book
November 30, 2022
God... this book. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words.
Three days ago I didn't know this book existed. The only reason I happened to pick it up is because a professor recommended it to me for an essay I'm writing for class.
I had to convince myself to stop reading at times in order to get important things done, to go to sleep, to remind myself that there is a world outside of Bolden's beautiful yet simple, charming yet heartbreaking, hopeful yet infuriating words. I didn't know how much I needed this book until I read it. I don't normally read memoirs, but I am so glad I picked this book up. While I have no personal experience with endometriosis or chronic pain, reading Bolden's experiences felt so personal to me, so raw and tangible. Reading about her experience with asexuality spoke to me on an even deeper level, and there were so many times when I struggled not to burst into tears because I saw myself in her, I've thought those same things and while I know I am not alone in those feelings, seeing a real person open up about those experiences made me feel seen.
I loved this book. Everyone needs to read this book. I don't know how it will happen, but I'll make it so.
Three days ago I didn't know this book existed. The only reason I happened to pick it up is because a professor recommended it to me for an essay I'm writing for class.
I had to convince myself to stop reading at times in order to get important things done, to go to sleep, to remind myself that there is a world outside of Bolden's beautiful yet simple, charming yet heartbreaking, hopeful yet infuriating words. I didn't know how much I needed this book until I read it. I don't normally read memoirs, but I am so glad I picked this book up. While I have no personal experience with endometriosis or chronic pain, reading Bolden's experiences felt so personal to me, so raw and tangible. Reading about her experience with asexuality spoke to me on an even deeper level, and there were so many times when I struggled not to burst into tears because I saw myself in her, I've thought those same things and while I know I am not alone in those feelings, seeing a real person open up about those experiences made me feel seen.
I loved this book. Everyone needs to read this book. I don't know how it will happen, but I'll make it so.
January 8, 2023
oof. Bolden's memoir captures how modern American medicine shamefully fails women. even white, middle-class, and college educated women; i was once horrified to find out that Black women die in childbirth 2 to 3 times more often than white women, and this statistic kept running through my mind as i was listening to this book. i appreciated how Bolden reflects on the unreliability of her body, and how by needing medical attention her body ceased to be solely hers. while most of us take for granted that nothing is as much ours as our bodies, doctors in this memoir repeatedly deny Bolden the authority of knowing her own body. i have to admit that whenever a medical professional would tell Bolden that she is just "spotting" and that's normal, i kept wishing that she would just drop her soaked-through kotex on their desks, that's how angry i felt on her behalf.
January 11, 2023
A somewhat horrifying account of the way that doctors mishandled the author's chronic pain and endometriosis. No one should have to go through what she did. Just one example - She was given a certain drug longterm despite the fact that there was evidence that it was harming her - because the only studies on the drug's harmful side effects were done on men, and so apparently "didn't apply" to her. You will shake your head and think that surely most doctors would do a better job than this, and hope that we're moving in the direction of a world that will treat women patients with more dignity and respect and care than Bolden often receives.
November 22, 2022
Emma Bolden is a gift, and this book is stunning. Absolutely stunning. Her candor, her wit, her writing - I’m just in awe. This memoir is a vital exploration of the body, relationships - to ourselves and to others, of “health,” of love, of self. To be stereotypical, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to fight the medical establishment and all those who ever question the experience of what it is to be in YOUR own body and all that comes with that. I can’t recommend this enough and hope you’ll find it as beautiful as I do!
January 28, 2025
I’m angry for her. Im angry for how many medical professionals failed her. Im angry for the lack of solutions and plans of care given to her. Im angry for how dehumanized she was. Im angry no one believed her. I’m sad for all the same things for myself. It’s disgusting how subjugated and compartmentally devalued “women’s health” is in study and practice. It’s miserable.
Reading this made my struggle feel less singular though— which is devastating, but also unbelievably comforting. Loved this so much.
Reading this made my struggle feel less singular though— which is devastating, but also unbelievably comforting. Loved this so much.
November 16, 2022
This book is so funny and thoughtful, a fascinating examination of what chronic pain and endometriosis can do to someone's life. There's a cathartic sense of horror to the descriptions of the hospitalizations and doctors' visits. At the heart of this memoir is a coming-of-age story, a journey to forge a path that doesn't follow conventional wisdom. And I loved the jokes along the way, Nickelodeon slime and all!
November 19, 2022
A truly moving account of a woman, her body and the ways in which they must move through a world together where their health is not a priority compared to male patients. Bolden's memoir is an important reminder of how much work there is left to be done in the realms of healthcare, dialogues about our bodies and conversations around sexuality. This a remarkable, vulnerable work and I highly recommend it.
November 23, 2022
Reading this book made me simultaneously feel grief for Bolden's suffering, rage at the callous disregard of her doctors, and awe for the power of her writing. Memoirs aren't usually my favorite genre, but I was so compelled by this book that I finished it in just a few days. Highly recommended, especially for people with a uterus or anyone who's ever felt like no one was listening when they were in pain.
December 17, 2022
This is a gripping page-turner of a medical mystery/memoir, written with the attention and precision of a poet. As someone who lives with a chronic condition and has had a handful of terrible experiences with medical professionals, Bolden’s experiences ring true; that doesn’t make them any less horrifying and enraging. The Tiger and the Cage is a necessary read, though definitely not a feel-good one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews