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How to Be Married (to Melissa): A Hilarious Guide to a Happier, One-of-a-Kind Marriage
Popular standup comedian and podcaster Dustin Nickerson delivers a hilarious and practical take on navigating marriage based on his everyday experiences as a husband, father, and an Average Joe who is still trying to figure it all out.
Tired of the formulaic, one-size-fits-all books that reduce relationships to math equations, Dustin Nickerson decided to draw from his sixteen-year-marriage to his wife, Melissa, for insights into keeping relationships in a good spot. In How to Be Married (to Melissa), he shares that the key to his marriage's success is laughter and offers a few lessons he learned (and didn't learn), including
our footprints in the sand are on different beaches;
identifying tripwires prevents accidental explosions during dinner;
contrary to popular belief, conceding is sweeter if it comes with a heartfelt apology; and
the baby is two days old--is it time to schedule the vasectomy?
Filled with storytelling, personal anecdotes, and honest disclosures, Nickerson brings his popular and highly relatable brand of humor to topics ranging from parenting and finances to church attendance and in-laws, showing readers how to break up the monotony and break open the vulnerability as they celebrate their own one-of-a-kind marriages.
Self-described as "the world's most average person," Nickerson offers readers the gift of peering into his own marriage's challenges because, as he and Melissa are still discovering, those can turn into hysterical stories worth sharing later.
Tired of the formulaic, one-size-fits-all books that reduce relationships to math equations, Dustin Nickerson decided to draw from his sixteen-year-marriage to his wife, Melissa, for insights into keeping relationships in a good spot. In How to Be Married (to Melissa), he shares that the key to his marriage's success is laughter and offers a few lessons he learned (and didn't learn), including
our footprints in the sand are on different beaches;
identifying tripwires prevents accidental explosions during dinner;
contrary to popular belief, conceding is sweeter if it comes with a heartfelt apology; and
the baby is two days old--is it time to schedule the vasectomy?
Filled with storytelling, personal anecdotes, and honest disclosures, Nickerson brings his popular and highly relatable brand of humor to topics ranging from parenting and finances to church attendance and in-laws, showing readers how to break up the monotony and break open the vulnerability as they celebrate their own one-of-a-kind marriages.
Self-described as "the world's most average person," Nickerson offers readers the gift of peering into his own marriage's challenges because, as he and Melissa are still discovering, those can turn into hysterical stories worth sharing later.
207 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 7, 2022
72 people are currently reading
3151 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
May 26, 2022
First, the title of this book is exactly what it is about. No false advertising here. I now have a pretty good idea of what being married to Melissa might be like. I also have perhaps an even clearer idea of what being married to the author might be like, regardless of whether I wanted that knowledge or not. Well, I can't complain - it comes with the territory as a reader.
Dustin Nickerson starts with an observation that I can heartily endorse - that there is no "standard" or "normal" marriage, only the one(s) you know. I've long contended that there are as many ways to be married, to have a successful marriage relationship, as there are married couples. Each marriage is bespoke, custom made by the couple themselves. Really, how could it be otherwise?
Nickerson accomplishes much more, though. His stories of his own marriage illustrate multiple ways marriage partners can learn to work together. These strategies might help you. Or not, but it might be worth a try.
So, this may be more of a marriage manual than he claims. The frosting on this cake is Nickerson's humor, vinegary and no salt (at least in his use of the English language.) This clean comic is consistently funny, often focusing on his frustrations and the daily conflicts of life. His Christian beliefs are definitely a part of his observations and stories but were not burdensome for this reader who prefers to remain unaffiliated. I'm also gratified that his humor seldom obscures the more serious points he makes.
My wife and I will soon have our 43rd anniversary. We've been at this long enough to know how (if not always why) it works. Yet this book had plenty for me to think about and laugh over. What more could you ask for?
Dustin Nickerson starts with an observation that I can heartily endorse - that there is no "standard" or "normal" marriage, only the one(s) you know. I've long contended that there are as many ways to be married, to have a successful marriage relationship, as there are married couples. Each marriage is bespoke, custom made by the couple themselves. Really, how could it be otherwise?
Nickerson accomplishes much more, though. His stories of his own marriage illustrate multiple ways marriage partners can learn to work together. These strategies might help you. Or not, but it might be worth a try.
So, this may be more of a marriage manual than he claims. The frosting on this cake is Nickerson's humor, vinegary and no salt (at least in his use of the English language.) This clean comic is consistently funny, often focusing on his frustrations and the daily conflicts of life. His Christian beliefs are definitely a part of his observations and stories but were not burdensome for this reader who prefers to remain unaffiliated. I'm also gratified that his humor seldom obscures the more serious points he makes.
My wife and I will soon have our 43rd anniversary. We've been at this long enough to know how (if not always why) it works. Yet this book had plenty for me to think about and laugh over. What more could you ask for?
July 18, 2022
Spoiler Alert: Although I didn't knew this author before, I will not look out for him in the future!
To rate this nonfiction is to rate this true person named Dustin Nickerson, rating who he is and his beliefs too basing on what he is expressing here. So taking my ideals as the main basic leader...
Don't take this as something so negative or harsh on you Dustin (if you are reading) but how you describe your religious side and thoughts about it, it wasn't for me.
I don't believe in God (I'm atheist), though I'm from half Cristian/Catholic family and half Evangelic one. But how you are hard and think as the old old people and some of your opinions (in my head) are a bit harsh without motives, we didn't matched, you know??!!!
On the other hand, your husband side, is a part that I 100% admire. How you respect and note the effort that Melissa do when you are working outside is precious. How this relantionship works, on good and bad days, is fantastique.
3,7 stars
To rate this nonfiction is to rate this true person named Dustin Nickerson, rating who he is and his beliefs too basing on what he is expressing here. So taking my ideals as the main basic leader...
Don't take this as something so negative or harsh on you Dustin (if you are reading) but how you describe your religious side and thoughts about it, it wasn't for me.
I don't believe in God (I'm atheist), though I'm from half Cristian/Catholic family and half Evangelic one. But how you are hard and think as the old old people and some of your opinions (in my head) are a bit harsh without motives, we didn't matched, you know??!!!
On the other hand, your husband side, is a part that I 100% admire. How you respect and note the effort that Melissa do when you are working outside is precious. How this relantionship works, on good and bad days, is fantastique.
3,7 stars
May 26, 2022
This book was such a breath of fresh air! I love that it had really helpful AND realistic marriage advice it in. I have other marriage books I like, but they all carry a very serious tone. Of course marriage is a serious topic but marriage is also really fun! Dustin sharing so many personal stories (both heavy and light) and making sure to add in Melissa’s POV, made me feel more connected to them. When I’m connected to the author I tend to trust them more. I can’t recommend this book enough- it’s rare to find good advice that doesn’t make it seem like an impossible to task to better your marriage.
April 22, 2024
Definitely laughed out loud multiple times while reading this. Great advice and great stories.
August 4, 2022
It's amusing, overall. I picked this up because I saw Nickerson open for Taylor Tomlinson and thought he was fantastic, so of course, I wanted to read his book! I, unfortunately, didn't realize this was also somehow a Christian book? There is zero indication. I understand faith is important to people, but if you're going to bring it up CONSTANTLY in your book, it should be made clearer because I couldn't care less to hear about it. Outside of it, the tone is much more judgy and snide and not so much funny. Some of it was simply depressing. I'll probably second guess the next bit of his content that I consume.
May 26, 2022
I didn't know what to expect when reading Dustin's Book, (or why I would want to know how to be married to Melissa). Dustin gives a vulnerable look into his marriage journey. As he said in one of the chapters, he learned the most by walking through life with a mentor couple and not so much from reading books that don't apply. I feel that he did a great job of capturing that idea in his book. Dustin (and Melissa) give insight into how they make their marriage work and how you can too. Dustin's humor is sprinkled throughout and I really enjoyed reading it. (Especially chapter 5.)
August 1, 2022
I enjoy Dustin Nickerson’s comedy and unique perspective on most everything. This book often made me smile, chuckle, and even LOL. It’s relatable, practical, and says the things a lot of us think but don’t say when it comes to expectations. The takeaway is that loving and being loved by your spouse won’t look like anyone else’s marriage, and that’s ok!
November 5, 2023
A must-read for anyone in a relationship. Funny anedotes from a 20+ yr marriage will reassure you that your relationship quirks are OK. As long as they work for the two of you, it doesn't matter what others think.
April 10, 2023
An insightful, funny reminder that the only marriage I need to worry about is my own.
July 18, 2024
Delightfully funny and extremely relatable! Loved that he spent a lot of time on marriage while parenting.
January 11, 2026
Very funny and a quick, easy read! Actually gives decent marriage advice and uses humor to drive it home. Helps you realize we're all just out here surviving 😅
May 31, 2022
Oh my gosh! You wouldn’t expect to get realistic marriage and parenting advice from a comedian, but you get it with Dustin (and some help from his wife, Melissa) with great humor and vulnerability. I’ve been a fan for several years now and this just solidifies the many reasons why. Laugh out loud funny, strikingly accurate, faith filled and relatable to almost everyone. I can’t recommend this enough. I truly felt like I was sitting down and having a chat and just letting him run with his thoughts and I enjoyed the ride.
From topics like weight loss and exercise “ There’s a reason fat and happy go together. Santa Claus knows. He eats the cookies.” To parenting “ We would be better off as parents if there was a process involved. What if instead of sex, to have a baby you had to literally make the child. Like assemble it IKEA style. You've decided to have a kid? Great! Here is the box of kid parts and a miniature Allen wrench. If this were the route, there would be only two new Swedish kids a year, and one of them would wobble if you leaned on him. Sorry
about Johnny. If it gets on your nerves, just put a coaster under his leg.”
I loved his/their way of looking at faith as more than just following the rules set by some Pastor and more about being in a relationship. Faith isn’t black and white and that comes through loud and clear.
Absolutely fun and yet super insightful and I will be recommending it to everyone!
Thanks to the author and NetGalley for this eArc in exchange for my review.
From topics like weight loss and exercise “ There’s a reason fat and happy go together. Santa Claus knows. He eats the cookies.” To parenting “ We would be better off as parents if there was a process involved. What if instead of sex, to have a baby you had to literally make the child. Like assemble it IKEA style. You've decided to have a kid? Great! Here is the box of kid parts and a miniature Allen wrench. If this were the route, there would be only two new Swedish kids a year, and one of them would wobble if you leaned on him. Sorry
about Johnny. If it gets on your nerves, just put a coaster under his leg.”
I loved his/their way of looking at faith as more than just following the rules set by some Pastor and more about being in a relationship. Faith isn’t black and white and that comes through loud and clear.
Absolutely fun and yet super insightful and I will be recommending it to everyone!
Thanks to the author and NetGalley for this eArc in exchange for my review.
July 18, 2022
Way too much concentration on faith and religion,it made me cringe each time a new dialogue on christianity started. Couldn't tolerate it. I personally believe my faith is my very personal and private matter.
But then again, since this is a memoir, I tried to digest it for as long as I could. And then it reached a point where I couldn't, any more.
Sorry Dustin!
Entirely my loss.
A few notes still:
➡️This is a book so far away from comedy or funny-ness, that if you are going to it expecting wit, humour or slapstick comedy, do not venture near. It is anything but that.
➡️This is an honest, extremely vague, but honest writing.
➡️ It is only and only written for the Americans. People like me, anywhere else in the world are going to remain mostly lost or clueless about a majority of names/things mentioned in here.
But then again, since this is a memoir, I tried to digest it for as long as I could. And then it reached a point where I couldn't, any more.
Sorry Dustin!
Entirely my loss.
A few notes still:
➡️This is a book so far away from comedy or funny-ness, that if you are going to it expecting wit, humour or slapstick comedy, do not venture near. It is anything but that.
➡️This is an honest, extremely vague, but honest writing.
➡️ It is only and only written for the Americans. People like me, anywhere else in the world are going to remain mostly lost or clueless about a majority of names/things mentioned in here.
February 14, 2023
This book offers little in terms of novel relationship advice, but that's fine because that's not why I purchased or read it. I saw Dustin Nickerson open up for Taylor Tomlinson on the Pittsburgh stop of her "The Have It All Tour." As frequenters of comedy clubs and prolific watchers of Netflix stand-up specials, my husband and I were big fans of Dustin's set. His brand of clean comedy was refreshing while he managed to make seemingly mundane topics side-splittingly hilarious. I got so eager to consume more of Dustin's content that I ordered this book while filing out of the theater. It's more lighthearted memoir than guide, and that's ok. Dustin and Melissa's anecdotes on topics ranging from young (and broke) love to religious crises, are honest while remaining entertaining. I found that the book expounded upon some of the bits in his act and that's really all I was hoping for.
August 12, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Dustin's humor and openness to share what he does and does not know is refreshing and encouraging. As a person practicing (always a work in progress) Christian faith, I appreciated Dustin & Mel sharing how that foundation and ongoing perspective impacts their marriage.
The first time I saw Dustin was in 2021. He opened for Taylor Tomlinson, and I thought he was hilarious! His jokes were super funny and clean, and he had a couple of church jokes that were a little too deep for a nominal church attender, and certainly not something I was used to hearing from a comedian. This made me curious about him and led me to follow all the socials and eventually this book. If you're curious to hear some of the jokes in the book, I would encourage you to check out his specials or their podcast (Don't make me come back there)!
The first time I saw Dustin was in 2021. He opened for Taylor Tomlinson, and I thought he was hilarious! His jokes were super funny and clean, and he had a couple of church jokes that were a little too deep for a nominal church attender, and certainly not something I was used to hearing from a comedian. This made me curious about him and led me to follow all the socials and eventually this book. If you're curious to hear some of the jokes in the book, I would encourage you to check out his specials or their podcast (Don't make me come back there)!
June 5, 2022
If you are looking for a formulaic step 1-2-3 marriage book, run the other direction. This book isn’t for you. OR IS IT?!? Marriage isn’t a step by step thing. Dustin captures this well in this book discussing his marriage to Melissa and their parenting style. If you want a book that will encourage you to find what works for your marriage and make you feel good about the quirks in your marriage, this is the book to read! I’ve been a fan of Dustin’s comedy and podcast for many years now. Parts of this book had me dying with laughter and nodding in agreement. I came away from it excited in pursuing my relationship’s uniqueness and feeling good about where we are as a couple.
May 22, 2022
This books was hilarious! Filled with marriage advice for an actual marriage from a funny and relatable couple. This books is actually helpful and won’t collect dust like other stuffy marriage books. I’d recommend this book to anyone considering marriage,engaged,freshly married or have celebrated quite a few anniversaries.
Even if you’re not familiar with Dustin’s comedy, you can fully appreciate this book and Melissa’s POVs.
Even if you’re not familiar with Dustin’s comedy, you can fully appreciate this book and Melissa’s POVs.
June 7, 2022
What a fun book! Dustin (and Melissa) explore common marriage advice through the lens of their marriage with plenty of comedic style. I highlighted a bunch of passages to read aloud to my spouse. It's not corny like most marriage books, and Dustin's perspective had me feeling less crazy with my parenting and marriage - he's relatable. I'm planning on sending copies alongside wedding gifts because I think it's worth the read!
May 14, 2025
I really appreciated Dustin's perspective on not stating a marriage formula that will supposedly work for all couples, but simply sharing what has worked for him and his wife. I was surprised at how vulnerable the book got and really enjoyed the whole thing. The parenting sections were especially relatable and hilarious. Definitely recommend, he's a great live stand-up comedian, check him out if he's in your town.
May 24, 2022
A must read! Dustin's take on marriage, parenting and everything in between is insightful and hilarious. The intertwining of Melissa's POV is timed perfectly and gives a fun perspective, often from the opposite viewpoint. Hilarious! Using Dustin's rating system, I give it a 5 out of 5 bingo dingos! Order now!
August 19, 2022
Knowing Dustin for his comedy and podcast, I wasn't sure if this would be an actual marriage book or a comedy book. Turns out, it's both! This memoir-esque look at being married to Melissa is funny, heartfelt, and honest. Come for the jokes and marriage advice, leave with bonus life and parenting ideas.
January 3, 2023
Hilarious and relatable. Dustin and Melissa's ability to unassumingly give great marriage advice that is neither preachy or hyper specific kept me entertained left me with a lot to think about. Easy to read but in no way shallow.
June 13, 2022
Laugh out loud funny! I read this in a day and cackled multiple times. Also great marriage advice along the way. Big fan!
Want to read
February 6, 2023Just watched Dustin Nickerson open for Taylor Tomlinson’s comedy tour. Loved him and his wholesome jokes about marriage/kids! Excited to read his book.
May 2, 2023
I have always wanted to know what it was like to be married to Melissa, so you can imagine my excitement when I found this book! 10/10.
September 13, 2023
3.5 stars rounded up because he was very sweet and funny in person!
An amusing read with some good advice tucked in
An amusing read with some good advice tucked in
December 24, 2024
Relatable. Funny. Awkward
August 20, 2024
In How to be Married to Melissa, Dustin Nickerson is the only person who has even been married to Melissa and he wants you to know that. He is a comedian and he will use comedy and humor throughout the book. They got married young around when they were 19 and 20 years old. They shared how they struggled with reading all the typically recommended marriage books. They discovered that they don’t take into consideration that not all marriages are the same. Readers will read throughout the book their ups and downs in their marriage and how they He opened up the book with detailing some examples from a news article about the fights that led to their marriages ending. One was a fight over lunch, another a fight over her cell phone usage, and much more. Little fights that led to bigger issues. They shared a personal story about how they fought one time over a vocabulary word. He explained how fights are never about the fights themselves. In the book, he discussed money, raising children, sex, cheating, in-laws, and family life.
One of my favorite stories was how he described essential oils, keto, and Crossfit and referred to them as the unholy trinity. This session was pretty hilarious. I also liked the story with his future father-in-law and how they had a funny discussion before he would let him marry his daughter. I liked how he mixed humor and comedy into the book and how he walked readers through some of the challenges they faced. He had special activities to do throughout the chapters and it would work great with couples. It was also interesting to read some of her thoughts in the book at certain parts.
“I received this book free from Thomas Nelson for my honest review.”
November 27, 2025
A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I saw Dustin Nickerson at a comedy club in Nashville. We had never heard of him before, we were on a double date with friends who suggested it, and we were pleasantly surprised at how much we enjoyed his show! He mentioned that he had written this book so I checked it out on Libby the next day. I thoroughly enjoyed the book! Nickerson is quite funny, and he makes a great point that no one can really give anyone marriage advice, because everyone's marriage is different because every person is different. Then he goes on to recount funny and poignant anecdotes of his and his wife Melissa's relationship. Two things that I found interesting is that he and wife were 19 and 20 when they married and that they are religious. So much of what he wrote is relatable too, especially when he discusses how your relationship changes after having children. If you want to read a quick, funny, relatable comedy with some serious, feel good points, this is a great book to read!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews