Saving Agnes

by Rachel Cusk

Agnes Day is mildly discontent. As a child, she never wanted to be an Agnes -- she wanted to be a pleasing Grace. But alas, she remained the terminally middle class, hopelessly romantic Agnes.Living with her two best friends in London and working at a trade magazine, Agnes feels that life and love seem to go on without her. But then she discovers that her roommates and her boyfriend are keeping secrets from her, and that her boss is quitting and leaving her in charge. In great despair, she decides to make it her business to set things straight.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, British Literature, Novels, Contemporary, Coming Of Age, London

218 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

Rachel Cusk was born in Canada, and spent some of her childhood in Los Angeles, before her family returned to England, in 1974, when Cusk was 8 years old. She read English at New College, Oxford.

Cusk is the Whitbread Award–winning author of two memoirs, including The Last Supper, and seven novels, including Arlington Park, Saving Agnes, The Temporary, The Country Life, and The Lucky Ones.

She has won and been shortlisted for numerous prizes: her most recent novel, Outline (2014), was shortlisted for the Folio Prize, the Goldsmith's Prize and the Bailey's prize, and longlisted for Canada's Giller Prize. In 2003, Rachel Cusk was nominated by Granta magazine as one of 20 'Best of Young British Novelists'

She lives in Brighton, England.

Reviews

[emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

life is just giving a performance and being like "is this right? who knows" the whole time.

it is so crazy that it was THE rachel cusk who wrote this book. the mind that brought us the spare monologues of the outline trilogy also came up with all of these adjectives. i guess everyone has to start somewhere. 

this is a debut in every way: earnest, overwritten, underedited. our protagonist contains all of the wisdom of her prodigy author, who is not yet the cusk we know. she’s preoccupied by the same topics then as now, but has less insight into them. 

agnes is a bit self-insert, with neither she nor the narrator perhaps as aware of her privilege and silliness as intended. 

this is a worthwhile read for cusk superfans who want to see where she came from, but just over 20 years after its publication, not for many other reasons. 

bottom line: like a time capsule!

2.5

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

This first novel by Cusk won the Whitbread Award for First Novel in 1993 and it seems worthy of that distinction. It is less tentative than we would have reason to expect though it depicts a just-new woman carrying a load of insecurities while trying to navigate a large city.

Ultimately Agnes manages to find her way outside the maze inside her own head, recognize the privilege of her upbringing, and to feel something for the difficulties of others, but it is a tough couple hundred pages until she gets there. It is not so much funny as pathetic, and that is because we recognize something of ourselves (and perhaps our children) in her.

I wish I’d had more time to concentrate on this novel, though the reason l didn’t is that I always found time to do something besides read it. Reading about Agnes was uncomfortable. Agnes (what a name!) was so unsure of herself it was painful. I do remember those years but do not miss them. It is a miracle we make it through, though Cusk puts in a couple reminders that some folks nearly don’t, and many don’t come through without damage.

We see the promise of Cusk in this novel in that her seemingly lightweight protagonist manages to discern the outlines of consequential existential questions— about the purpose of life— and this doesn’t change in her later work. Cusk is a heat-seeking missile for “the heart of the matter” and that is why readers eagerly seek out the next installment in how she describes what she has discovered.

Ultimately I was reading this novel at this time is for completionist reasons, but it also strangely dovetailed a major life moment. My oldest brother who’d had a major influence on my life trajectory died suddenly. Preparing his memorial service involved creating a short slideshow—he was a photographer and oceanographer, among other descriptors. He’d taken pictures of me beginning my travels overseas alone at the age of Cusk’s Agnes. Reading of Agnes’ mental circularities, uncertainties, and anxieties reminded me what I’d ditched as soon as I could.

I am having a look at all Cusk’s books to see how she got from here to her adaptation of Medea and the Outline trilogy. I have one novel left, The Temporary, before I will need to circle back to read her later work again. I admire her writing and think her work resonates, particularly for white women of a certain level of wealth, education, and age. That is not to say her later work doesn’t speak to universal experience—I think it does—but I wonder if the humor translates as well. She is easily in the ranks of America’s now dead male writers, Updike and Roth, whose work was claimed by a generation of white men of a certain level of wealth and education.

This early novel feels dated now: it was written twenty-five years ago. Reading about Agnes’s travails reminded me that young women today likely have different experiences with first sex, with boyfriends, girlfriends, even parents. Our relationships have been changed by cell phones and connectedness, and at the risk of seeming out of touch, I venture that the rate of change truly has speeded up. Perhaps everything we really need to learn can, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, be found in our own backyards after all. There is something to be said for getting a firm foundation in a more limited environment before being hit with the world, but perhaps those faced with choice early are better at navigating it. Whatever the case, we’re not in Kansas anymore.

[Jayne Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every so often I need to read a Rachel Cusk....a proper wordy workout for the brain, like doing a cryptic crossword. They should all come with a free dictionary because it’s a sure thing that I will be reaching for one before long. I would consider it a wasted read if it didn’t contribute at least three new words to my vocabulary.

In this novel we meet Agnes who finds just about everything in her life a mystifying ordeal – work, socialising, finding a boyfriend. At first she seemed hard to sympathise with – wealthy family, gainfully employed, living in a house share with two long standing friends...what’s to complain about? She should just stop over-thinking everything! Yet I found myself nodding time and time again in agreement with the musings of the embattled Agnes. I find myself in sympathy generally with any character who struggles socially, but I would hazard a guess that many people more sociable than me would agree with her on some things. Faced with the scenario with the ex-boyfriend in the restaurant my reaction would have been the same as Agnes’...just toe-curling and yet totally believable.

As with all Rachel Cusk’s novels, there were sentences I had to read numerous times to properly get the gist. All those long words jammed together....and yet when the picture emerges it just shimmers with clarity. I admire the way she builds up a paragraph with complex, wordy sentences like an archer gradually drawing back a bow, and then lets fly with a short snappy sentence – right into the centre of the target.

I wondered whether the end might let the whole thing down by being cheesy – Agnes sees the light etc etc, and yet it wasn’t like that. I loved the way the end was done, in fact it was one of my favourite parts of the novel.

So I’ve got my fix of vocabulary for a while – might be in need to some chick-lit to detox now, mind you.

[Hugh · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is probably a little unfair to judge this debut novel having read most of Cusk's later fiction - at this distance it seems a little inconsequential but it does introduce many of her favourite themes, and it is quite funny in places, and quite dismissive of much of the culture and atmosphere of early 90s London.

The central character Agnes Day (and the obvious pun there is explained very early) is a young graduate sharing a ramshackle house in Highbury with two of her student friends. She gets a job in the office of a very dull diplomatic magazine, and has the usual rites of passage struggles with unsuitable men and finding some kind of meaning in life. The book is actually more enjoyable than that description makes it sound, but it is probably one for Cusk completists only.

[makayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Agnes is Esther from The Bell Jar in a parallel universe

[Nathália · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saving Agnes debuts Cusk’s career (who was only 25 at the time) with a coming-of-age story that has autofiction written all over it. Let me just start by saying that the larger-than-life vocabulary paraded through this novel taught me more than any language course ever did. The sentences are tailored with the precision and care of a language artisan, aiming to showcase all her craft skills.

Even though the flowery and metaphor-heavy writing could lead one to believe she was overcompensating for her own insecurities and need for validation, to rise above pretentiousness and deliver personal truth requires more than an Oxford degree and a dictionary - it takes immense talent. Fortunately, this delicious wordy banquet is seasoned with exceptional levels of authenticity, wit and considerable warmth.

While I realise this novel will not be for everyone, those who enjoy perusing through labyrinths of memories and thoughts layered with substantial doses of self-deprecating humour should definitely give it a go. In fact, this novel made me feel nostalgic for experiences far from my own, never losing its relatability power.

Notwithstanding the interioristic tone, the outside world - aka London in the 1990s, serves as a backdrop to illustrate Agnes’ development and progressing identity. Cusk stated in an interview that writing this novel felt like a way to resolve the issue of formlessness, allowing her to finally shapen her essence and identity. Self-expression as a process of outlining one’s being, if you will. From this perspective, language assumes the role of “a fortress of sensibility, (…) this impene­trable medium that could sort of stand on its own”.

Pain easily metamorphoses into satire here, but also in real life. How often do we use humour to laugh off our tragedies or to undermine the cruelty within our memories? We learn from Agnes Day that whether we fall in love, or fall in pain is only a matter of perspective. In the end, we are all nothing but insomniacs of the heart.

[Udeni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for the Book Riot's challenge to "Read a debut novel". I realised with a shock that I hadn't read the first novel by my favourite British author, Rachel Cusk

Agnes Day (Agnus Dei, obvs) is a lapsed Catholic, living in a shared house in 1990s London, half-heartedly searching for redemption in one night stands, a publishing career, and her perfect figure. As her boyfriends fail to propose, her work performance suffers and she starts to get fat, she suffers a kind of breakdown. Who, or what, could save her?

This debut novel has a great plot and believable characters. The grubby London of homeless people, drifting graduates and casual cruelties is well drawn. The prose style suffers from an awkward mixture of the baroque and the bathetic:

"Agnes once thought that days existed merely for identification purposes, temporal name tags to facilitate social confluence. Monday was the worst, a jack booted Nazi of the day; people did suicidal things on Mondays, like start diets and watch documentaries."

I have always loved this type of gimlet eye and rococo flourish. After Saving Agnes, her subject matter continued to be domestic, though her style is highbrow. Readers expecting something fluffier tend to be disappointed. Her later novels include other characters' viewpoints and allow her to stretch her limbs as a psychological novelist. Her final two books are more consistent in tone and have all but dispensed with plot.

As a first novel by a 25-year old Cusk, this was a stunning debut. More than 20 years on, this remains a darkly funny read.

[bookmateriality · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read for feminists. Rachel Cusk is often vilified for some reason because she crosses a couple of taboos. She knows her own worth, she tells the truth of her experiences and these two qualities annoy some people. But as Alan Bennett says 'Taste is the death of an author.' Cusk is an excellent writer who tells the truth as she experiences it. I sometimes struggle with her desire to cram in as many literary and philosophical allusions as she possibly can, at sometimes unhelpful length. But maybe that's my deficiency. Overall she is a wonderful writer and all young women could learn something from her about how to value their own lives as much as she values and fights for her truth.

[Magdelanye · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a thoughtful if somewhat verbose exploration of coming into ones own and the internal struggle to identify what that might be.

the rating in my system would be 5 ( out of 7) and in a 10 point scale it would be 6.
this my reaction upon just finishing. fuller review to come

[Gregory Duke · Rating 3 out of 5]

A debut of little consequence that, after 25+ years, need only be read by Cusk completionists. Many of the prevailing themes of her later work (middle-class ennui, feminism in the age of "post-feminism," motherhood, gender at large, etc.) are present, except packaged in a humorous, earnest, overwritten novel depicting the anguish of instability in one's mid-twenties. The narrative is thin, but the writing, though florid and SEVERELY self-conscious (every clause must have a quip or literary device or two or three to prove one's literary prowess right out the gate) exposes a talent in embryo, so much so that the dialogue sounds stilted and unimpressive in contrast to the psychological descriptions within Agnes' head. The discussions of catcalling and sexual violence read as particularly prescient of the #MeToo movement's talking points more than twenty years after this novel's publication, so, although dated, it's fair to see how the content here reads as ahead of its time and behind our own. I enjoyed this as a quick (another primarily poolside) read in anticipation of Parade in little over a week.

[soph · Rating 3 out of 5]

as an avid cusk fan, i knew going into this as her first novel that it would be different than the work i know and love from recent years; it was a little too much in certain ways, as i felt the prose was trying to become a distinctive voice (which in her works she has certainly achieved) and in doing so it read as trying too hard. in other ways it felt a little deficient: i usually love the almost optional plot in cusk’s novels, but i felt that within the structure of this novel, more was necessary to feel involved and invested in our titular character. either way, i enjoyed reading this novel in spite of a few moments of despair at the general (deeply cynical) mood.

[Hannah Hiemstra · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first Cusk & coincidentally her first novel! A beautiful dissection of life as a girl trying to find her way in the world. Really enforces the idea that if you are seeking a relationship because you want to be loved, you will ruin everything. Love not because you need it, but because you are bursting with love to give.

I think all of the bad reviews this book received are from illiterate people with bad taste… wdym it’s ‘wordy’ this prose is LYRICAL. I think you just have a small vocabulary babe

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Her history welled up in her; things burned, things frozen, buried alive, a whole disordered catalogue of stories told or hidden. She alone could make sense of them. She alone could tell it as it was, for who else would remember? She would begin with the seeds of a starting place planted here in her revisiting, to tell of the mysterious normality of things, of their unexceptional symmetry, of uninterrupted rise and fall of days; of how one could wait, could waste as much time as there was between birth and burial waiting for things that never came!”
.
.
Saving Agnes is Rachel Cusks debut novel that came out when she was just 26 and when I found that out halfway through reading it I was blown away. How could someone write such complex beautiful sentences like the one above so effortlessly throughout the entirety of a debut novel? I don’t have an answer but Cusk has proven its possible. Agnes the main character is quite unlikable and to me seemed very self deprecating and loathsome. Reminding me much of Ottessa Moshfegh’s characters today. Agnes is privileged and unaware of it, gliding through life struggling with all of the trivial day to day things we all do, so in other words she was also relatable! Quite the conundrum

How Cusk managed to write so poignantly about someone you both hate and relate to I’ll never understand but she has created an enigma of a character, and a wonderfully written novel that at times was uneventful yet was pulled along, her words a tow truck merely dragging the story to its conclusion. I think we can all see a bit of ourselves in Agnes and at the very least appreciate Cusk for her otherworldly writing.

[Jane Juliette Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some consider "Saving Agnes" depressing - I think it's deep, although it is true that the protagonist, Agnes, IS comfortabely depressed. She is actually so depressed and self-absorbed that she doesn't notice that she is dating a junkie. And she is such a greenhorn, that she believes that every junkie shoots, there is more of Agnes' naivety displayed throughout the story, which is not much of a story, more a wordy spiral into the abyss, somewhere dark and lonely, a place where even the most caring parents cannot give you shelter. Some moments in this novel haunted me afterwards. Like the scene in the tube station, which brutally shows how fast you can drop in someone else's esteem and how cold people are. I also very much enjoyed the chapter where Agnes has her date at the Hampton Court. It's bitter sweet and very painful like every heart-break.

Very interesting is the setting - three friends living together in a place that falls apart which I picutered like something in Orson Welles' "The Process".

Since English is not my mother-tongue, I am used to look up words, but in Cusak's case you should always have a dictionary at hand. I can understand that some people may find her writing contrived, but I am very grateful for this book.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this wasn't a fabulous read, it was interesting to reach back to Cusk's first novel. Kind of like looking at childhood photos of a long-time adult friend. It was rewarding to experience the early germination of this phenomenal author.

[Girish · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Her history welled up in her; things burned, things frozen, buried alive, a whole disordered catalogue of stories told or hidden. She alone could make sense of them. She alone could tell it as it was, for who else would remember?"

Rachel Cusk's wordy debut of metaphors, inner dialogues and evolving understanding of Agnes Dey, who considers herself a failure, is no normal fare. Her character, depressed by consistently falling short of her own and society's expectations is a walking cauldron of doubts. The witty element is that, through her monologues and her interaction with other women in the plot, she takes on both patriarchy and the narrow definition of feminism.

Agnes lives with her two friends from university, suffering from a bad relationship and waiting for her new fling to call her back. She considers a job a temporary stop and tries to make sense of her childhood - her parent's indifference and God letting her down. There is self loathing - a strong sense to be someone else. Through casual references, she takes on gender stereotypes and the almost casual abuse she has to suffer at the hands of the men around her.

There are episodes of horny men on public transports rubbing themselves against her, a family which favors the son over a daughter, pressure of conformance to beauty standards - things women across nations would relate to. She also does some curious experiment of gender stereotype reversal which had me grinning. The other characters like her old colleague who survives abuse, her boss who quits her career after meeting a man, her friend with whom she falls apart with due to jealousy, their guy friend whose boss is infatuated with him are props to the bigger plotline.

Her writing is definitely high on craft - answering machines trap ghosts of past relationships, days are temporal tags for remembering, people are patterns in a drawing. It gladdens me to know that this is not her best book - much to look forward to.

[Laura Mathijs · Rating 4 out of 5]

came across this at the perfect time in my life. hilariously relatable, beautifully written

[Jennifer (formerly Eccentric Muse)]

About 1/3rd of the way in but it's just not grabbing me. The writing is intricate, and maybe it would be better taken in thru the eyes instead of the ears. Then again, the intricacy might be masking a lack of character depth or insight or something, which is better developed in Outline and Transit (the other two I've read by her) than in this, Cusk's first. I just don't find Agnes all that interesting, and I don't want to slog through any more of this when I have Kudos waiting in the wings.

[Llyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful. Wish i had it to read in my late twenties.

[cass krug · Rating 3 out of 5]

probably my least favorite rachel cusk novel so far 🥲 but i’m glad i finally read her debut, as it’s so interesting to see how much her writing has changed since this book was published. the writing here feels too effortful and too embellished - it’s in extremely stark contrast to the sparse prose of this year’s parade. saving agnes felt like a struggle for me to get through because of the flowery prose, and i don’t remember having that issue with her other early works. just a bit too overwritten for my personal taste as a reader.

as far as the story goes… this novel fits right in with the contemporary Depressed Woman Moving subgenre that is so prevalent today. agnes is living in a rundown home with two friends, she’s stuck on a past relationship while waiting for her current fling to call her, she’s working a job that she doesn’t feel much passion for. there’s a lot of reminiscing about her childhood with her family, and grappling with religion. overall you get the sense that agnes has spent her entire life wishing to be someone else. some of her situation was relatable but ultimately the story fell flat for me.

checked this one off the list, onto my last 3 cusks!!!

[Althea · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I always believed there would be a point where I would definitely know if I was happy - when I would become myself, if you see what I mean, instead of just impersonating what I thought I should be. And now I feel as if I've suddenly woken up and things have gone by without me seeing them.”

Agnes Day is an exact embodiment of a twenty-something girl apprehensive about the world. At her point of life, everything is a puzzle—love, work, friendship. She’s cynical and naive and almost selfish, but that doesn’t ever make her unlikeable, in fact it just makes her out to be really sad. This was comforting even though it’s also distressing because it assures you (I mean me let’s be real) that this confusing, endless cycle of uncertainty you’re going through is not as singular as you may think.

That’s just life and sometimes you have to go a little Agnes Day-crazy.

[Robert Wechsler]

Having loved Rachel Cusk’s last four novels, I have collected copies of her early novels and finally picked this, her debut, off my shelves. What a writer she already was, at least in her narration. She was so sharp and clever that her dialogue looks droopy in comparison. But underneath all the wonderful play, this is chick lit with a vengeance, and I figured I have several more of her early novels to enjoy. A 50-page taste of this one was enough.

[Sarah Feng · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is highly accurate to the undergraduate experience at a liberal arts college and I think endows it with a sort of wholeness and intensity that helps validate and even valorize the smallest of journeys we go through. Cusk’s tone notably shifts from the actively dramatizing and stagelit to the flowing and eager towards the end—a journey myself and many of my classmates are learning as we begin to desensitize to our growing pains of being 18 and being so hyper-aware of our bodies.

[Olivia Newman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saving Agnes is an involute, entertaining novel centering around Agnes Day, a young professional trying to find her place in London. I began thinking it was basically a literary Bridget Jones' Diary due to Agnes' preoccupation with diets, thin thighs and men. However, across the the course of the novel, the tone shifts quite aggressively. Hidden truths about Agnes' lovers and friends are uncovered, and the wry, humourous prose becomes much more melancholic. One constant though is Cusk's complex, metaphor-laden style and her discerning commentary on the interior life. It took awhile for me to settle into the style, but paying attention was well worth it.

[lehnachos ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“where did everyone else learn how the world works ? Sometimes I feel as if I missed something, some vital clue that would make everything clear. And then sometimes I think that I do know things, things that no one else knows (…) Things that aren’t really there, at any rate. Metaphors I suppose you called them, as if everything is actually something else”

I regret not having discovered this book sooner, though I suppose they always come to you at the right time. Even when I wasn’t actively reading it, this book stayed on my mind. It contains everything I love: a young woman who overthinks, constantly questioning her place in the world to the point of absurdity and even ridicule. A microcosm filled with complex relationships, existential anxieties, and, above all, doubts that resonated with me in an almost uncanny way. All of this is delivered through stunningly lyrical prose, capturing the flow of thought of a woman so lost and hesitant.

What a remarkable introduction to Rachel Cusk! I can already tell she’s going to become one of my favorite authors.

[Willa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Second attempt to read this one. Cusk's writing is elegant and witty-- conspicuously, self-consciously so, as if she were afraid of ever writing a sentence which someone else had written before. That's not a bad thing-- at times wearying, but rather entertaining-- except that there's no damn plot. The whole book is an extended warble in someone's head. Or the first half, anyway, before I decided to give up and seek more satisfying sustenance.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish. I enjoy a challenging and wordy story like the rest of them, but this was unbearable. I was almost halfway through and still had no idea what the story was. Having to read pages over and over to figure them out is not my idea of a good read.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think it's one of the more elegantly written accounts of the confused twentysomethings. Sometimes Agnes grated on me, but I think that she's meant to do so.

[Anastasiia Mozghova · Rating 4 out of 5]

at first, i thought it was a no, but then i changed my mind. yes, the story is simple and the writing is definitely a mental challenge, but it is also exquisite and lyrical.