Les 5 clés du bonheur : cultiver la résilience quoi qu'il arrive

by Tal Ben-Shahar

Méthode pour atteindre le bonheur dans une époque caractérisée par l'instabilité et l'incertitude. L'auteur développe cinq principes à partir desquels il invite le lecteur à mener un travail d'introspection : vivre en pleine conscience, prendre soin de son corps, maintenir une curiosité intellectuelle, être attentif à ses proches, savoir accueillir et harmoniser ses émotions.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Growth, Philosophy

248 pages, Paperback

Published September 23, 2021

About the author

Tal Ben-Shahar (Hebrew: טל בן-שחר‎, also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar) is an Israeli teacher and writer in the areas of positive psychology and leadership.

Tal Ben-Shahar taught at Harvard, where his classes on Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership were among the most popular courses in the University's history. Today Tal teaches at the Interdisciplinary Center, Herzliya.

Tal received his PhD in Organizational Behavior from Harvard University. His dissertation, completed in 2004, is titled "Restoring Self-Esteem's Self-Esteem: The Constructs of Dependent and Independent Competence and Worth." Additionally, he also holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) from Harvard in Philosophy and Psychology. His undergraduate thesis, completed in 1996, is titled "Honesty Pays: Bridging the Gap Between Moral Theory and Practice."

Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives in multi-national corporations, Fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, and the general public. Topics include leadership, education, ethics, happiness, self-esteem, resilience, goal setting, and mindfulness. He is the author of the international best sellers Happier and Being Happy, which have been translated into 25 languages.

[Sourced from his wikipedia article.]

Reviews

[Guylou (Two Dogs and a Book) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last year, I discovered a Big Think video entitled: Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile by Tal Ben-Shahar. This short video changed my outlook on happiness. I wanted to know more about the subject and purchased Mr. Ben-Shahar’s book entitled HAPPIER, NO MATTER WHAT. This thought-provoking and empowering book that delves into the science of happiness and provides practical advice for achieving a more fulfilling life. The author draws on research from the field of positive psychology to explore the factors that contribute to happiness, such as gratitude, mindfulness, and social connections. He also provides tools and strategies for developing these qualities in oneself. One of the strengths of the book is the author's ability to present complex ideas in a clear and relatable way. The book is easy to read and understand, making it accessible to a wide range of readers. The author's personal anecdotes and examples also make the book relatable and engaging. This is a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their well-being and find greater happiness in life.

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[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by al Ben-Shahar (also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar), an expert in organizational behavior and positive psychology, Happier, No Matter What is organized around Ben-Shachar’s SPIRE system. The acronym stands for five core categories of wellbeing: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. Chapters of the book are then dedicated to each wellbeing categories, providing both a strong basis for understanding why the category is important and providing practical tips on how to enhance or reflect on one’s wellbeing in each category. Clearly intended for a general audience, Ben-Shachar’s evidence is drawn from history, biological science, neurochemistry, psychology, religion, and literature. There’s also a nicely laid out (if at times surprisingly dated) reference section. Individuals already highly familiar with positive psychology and happiness studies probably won’t find much new here in terms of actual content, but for individuals new to the topic this serves as a solid and highly readable primer.

[Lorena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how positive psychology expert Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar explains his reasoning for the title of this book. He claims that there is no such thing as happily ever after, but that we can continuously learn how to become happier, no matter what. His approach involves self-reflection and experimentation to improve our wellbeing in five areas: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. He refers to this approach as Climbing the SPIRE, which I think is a very helpful mnemonic.

I’ve read quite a bit on positive psychology, so many of the author’s ideas were familiar to me. However, I really liked his presentation, and I did pick up some new ideas to explore. I found the text thought provoking, and particularly appreciated the discussion of deep learning and the discussion of intimate relationships as a crucible for growth. I think his approach of periodic SPIRE Check-Ins is a great way to continually assess and incrementally improve your wellbeing.

I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in personal growth and experiencing more wellbeing. As I was reading, I kept thinking of people I would love to gift a copy to.

Thanks to The Experiment for providing me with an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

[Javidan Karimli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impressive, truly influential on the level of happiness. Short, easy to read, and interesting. Now considering taking classes on happiness given by the author, one day, if I get the chance.

[Bart · Rating 2 out of 5]

A self-help book about self-help books about self-help books about self-help books

[Mohan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.7814

[Gabi Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

it had some good lessons in it

[Em · Rating 2 out of 5]

This small book seems to have been written in response to the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic.

I won this in a Goodreads giveaway, and I really wanted to like it, but it fell flat with me. While I agree with what the author had to say, it was written in an unengaging manner.

There are five chapters that spell SPIRE: Spiritual Wellbeing, Physical Wellbeing, Intellectual Wellbeing, Relational Wellbeing, and Emotional Wellbeing.

The topics in this book were nothing new to me. Perhaps if this had been the first book I'd read on positive psychology, I would have been awed.

If you feel stuck or discontented, or are a workaholic or a couch potato, and have given no thought to your inner life, your physical body, or your relationships, then yes, this book may open your eyes.

If you're new to the concept of positive psychology, this may be a good introduction.

[Chrys · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the writing style, but the content of the book was much more basic than I had hoped. It was an easy read, but I didn't feel I learned anything new.

[Realini Ionescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar

Revolutionary:
- Long Live the Happiness Revolution!!
- For another version of this note and others, you could check the list I have at:
- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...


This is not your simple, excellent chef d’oeuvre!
It is the Absolute and Ultimate Happiness Bible, if you ask me

- Revolutionary is not a hyperbole or a joke
- Happier has the potential to Transform your life and that of others around you

And it is all science and based on research, tests and experiments.
We are not talking the average book, with the same miracle precept- read this and you are green with satisfaction in five minutes, or seven steps.

- Tal Ben-Shahar is not just a reputed Harvard Professor, but a role model

He means it when he talks about a Peaceful Revolution that would not arrive from the outside but from within.
I can state that I am not only a happy, but procrastinating reader of this marvelous book and some other works by Tal Ben-Shahar:

- His call for action has been listened and I am trying as much as I can to work on this “Peaceful Happy Revolution

Ever since 2013, when I had the first encounter with Positive Psychology and Tal Ben-Shahar in particular I tried to promote the idea.
Indeed, I was so enthusiastic and idealistic that I thought the ideas of positivity and positive psychology need to be advertised throughout this land and everywhere.
And I still agree with this notion of Happiness revolution for the principle, the fundamentals are right and proven:

- Happier, more positive people have more success in their private and professional lives, they are healthier, more productive
- They live longer, when they are sick they stay so for a shorter period and they also spread around these benefits
- And there is much more to say on the subject

As it is argued and Bhutan is already doing it, we should start measuring more than just the GDP and material wealth.
One of the most powerful arguments in this grandiose, sublime work regards the currencies we use and the obsession with material things.

- Happiness is the Ultimate currency and even if we try so hard to get the cash or the “hard” currency, we are wrong not to see that we need to be happy and not rich

Time affluence

- This is another paramount concept and one which makes me feel exceptionally good since I have way more time than cash flow

Tal Ben Shahar quotes a series of wise men, from Aristotle, who was so right on the subject of happiness:

- “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”

To Gandhi-
- “be the change you want to see in the world”

When Tal Ben Shahar refers to this paramount concept of Happiness Revolution he puts it into perspective and talks about the Marxist one, that had such disastrous effects and started with the suppression of freedom

- The Happiness Revolution is based on the realization of what the Ultimate Currency is and the mistake we make to engage in the rat race of endless and pointless accumulation of material consumer goods
- MPS – this is another way to happiness and it stands for Meaning Pleasure and Strengths which we need to evaluate when we establish a career path
- It is optimal, the best case scenario to select a “Calling” and not opt for a job that offers no Meaning or Pleasure if we find what gives us Meaning and Pleasure and what our Strengths are, then we can see where they intersect and what our Calling is


Absolute and Ultimate Happiness Bible, if you ask me

[Naama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Dr. Ben Shachar’s book is a great way to kick off a new year. There’s nothing new about the idea that happiness is more of a pursuit rather than a state of being, but Dr. Ben-Shachar breaks down the pursuits that have been found to be most associated with happiness:
- Deep learning
- Physical activity
- Spiritual practices
- Emotional
- Cultivating relationships
- Being in touch with our feelings
While Dr. Ben-Shachar’s book is secular – religion was barely mentioned even in the chapter on spiritual wellbeing – I couldn’t help but reflect on how much Jewish practices are connected to each one of the above pursuits:
- Judaism places a high premium on Torah scholarship and has set up a system that cultivates deep learning from a young age. Jewish learning also ties into cultivating relationships: learning is encouraged as a group activity
- There’s no ‘mitzva’ (Jewish commandment/ritual) to go to the gym, but I do think that Judaism encourages an active life, and physical activity is at its best when integrated into one’s life rather than siloed off from regular life. People in ‘blue zones’ that have an unusually high life expectancy have been noted as ‘active’ based on their day-to-day activities around town. When a person has to walk to synagogue to pray with others, do charitable work (visit the sick, help others etc) , it adds up to significant physical activity.
- As for a spiritual practice – no need to expound on how Judaism is a spiritual practice. There is so much gratitude built into every one of our daily prayers and blessings.
- Judaism is an incredible springboard for relationships. Not only does it place emphasis on joint learning but prayer. meals, and so many other practices are set up as group activities (e.g. blessings after meals). Jewish community is truly one of the pillars of Judaism.
- How exactly does Judaism put one in touch with their feelings? This is a tough one, but I will say that there are practices in Judaism that have been set up around feelings, as a way to acknowledge and reckon with feelings – whether it’s the mourning practices, including the mourner’s kaddish, or practices around weddings which are happy but also overwhelming times.
Bottom line – Judaism doesn’t have a monopoly over creating happiness, but this book did highlight for me how much happiness is cultivated through an active Jewish living.

[Kevin Parkinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sigh. Okay so it's not a bad book I suppose. And there are plenty of good nuggets. I also liked the first part of the intro, which laid out what I thought was a novel approach to the book. But unfortunately, I think a lot of it fell flat. First, very little of this book was counter-intuitive, with the possible exception about curiosity (we're often told "ignorance is bliss," but that might not be true). Other parts of this book include things like work out, take breaks, maintain relationships, find purpose in your work, etc. Additionally, this book purports itself to be a summary of scientific research. There's some of that, but it feels like a haphazard collection of the author's thoughts. That's fine if that's what you want it to be, but let's just be honest about that. Instead of being rooted in scientific study, it includes generic platitudes, quotes from famous philosophers, clever acronyms, and personal anecdotes. It's also full of cheese, like when he says something to the effect of, "Today is a gift; that's why it's called 'the present.'" But mainly, I think it was not what it promises to be. I thought it would be a unique study on how to seek positivity specifically in times of trauma. While there is some of that, most of the book is, "Here are practices that could work in good times or bad." In other words, there's not much that's unique about positivity in times of trauma. If such strategies don't exist, that's fine - but don't write a book about that. Just write a generic happiness book (which, by the way, this dude has also done). It's fine, I don't necessary disagree with much of what he says, and it's short enough. But with so many other fantastic books out there, I can't really recommend this one to others.

[Luiza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Que leitura esclarecedora! Uma delicia de visão sobre nosso bem-estar, muito bem dividido e inteiro. Pensar que esse livro foi lançado em um momento tão difcil como a pandemia, no qual muitas pessoas estavam desesperançosas, revela que não importa a situação, sempre da pra ser um pouco mais feliz.

Essas páginas me levaram de encontro pro meu eu integro. Foi uma viagem pelo conceito do EFIRE, que sem dúvida nenhuma me deixou mais atenta aos momentos presentes, a ouvir mais meu corpo quando ele precisa de descanso, a ser ainda mais grata, a aceitar os conflitos dos relacionamentos e principalmente a errar. A forma como o erro foi descrito criou uma nova sinapse no meu sistema nervoso que ao inves de eu ficar desgostosa ao errar, eu estou com vontade de cometer erros e me aperfeiçoar.

Foi encantador. Eu indicaria pra todos.

[Rubina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having read a number of Tal Ben-Shahar’s books, I was looking forward to reading this one. It was written during Covid and intended as a guide to help us stay positive in these trying times. He identifies 5 key elements that indirectly lead to happiness: spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, emotional wellbeing. These elements each contribute to whole person wellbeing and are key to attaining happiness. The book is an easy read (typical of Tal-shahar’s writing style). The reason I gave it a 3.5star is only bcos the material presented is not exactly new and can be found in books covering positive psychology.

[Tan Heng · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find the book to be very important by teaching me ways to improve my quality of life and achieving greater happiness. I believe that many people will stand to benefit from reading this book related to psychology. In a time of the global Covid-19 pandemic crisis, humanity’s mental health is affected. Factors such as bad news reported by the media, the use of social media, life adversities can also took a toll on mental health. It is a book that is sorely needed. This self-help book is an important contributor to knowledge and even the fight against the global mental health crisis.

[Mila · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Remember, you are a spiritual being capable of purpose and presence. You are a physical being, a mind and body united, flowing with energy and vitality. You are an intellectual being: curious, deep, capable of learning and growing. You are a relational being, generous and kind, with the capacity to love and be loved. You are an emotional being, capable of experiencing pain and pleasure, compassion and joy. You are whole.”

In this book, the author identifies the five core elements that indirectly lead to happiness: spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional wellbeing or (SPIRE). These elements each contribute to whole person wellbeing and are key to attaining more happiness.

Good refresher!

[Fernando figueiredo · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is simple. Maybe it adds little to your repertoire.
For some pages I asked myself why I was giving time to this book because I felt it was common place.
However, as i finished the book I realized I do not practice all those recommendations prescribed by the author.
And those recommendations somewhat got internalized and I saw myself changing some habits and taking some more control of my reactions in some situations.

Therefore, it might help you somehow.
Its simple. Quick to read. And a force for good.

[Nilesh Makan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really quick, easy and simple read, that can bring profound changes in life.

The spire model is a great way to remember the aspects of happiness.

Spirituality - taking time for yourself
Physical well-being - meeting time for exercise
Intellectual well-being - working with people and stimulating you intellectual capability
Relational well-being - making time to spend with people that matter.
Emotional well-being. Being human and vulnerable

Lovely read.

[Pranjal Singh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over 4 months and following is my takeaway: Wellbeing is multidimensional. Spiritual wellbeing can be achieved through mindfullness. Physical wellbeing through yoga and exercise. Intellectual through staying curious and open minded. Relational through listening and giving. Emotional through acceptance of joy and pain alike.

I took some notes here along the way: here.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Am I any happier after reading this book? Eh. About the same. Therefore, I cannot give 4 or 5 stars. Not any worse though!

Saw an interview with Tal and his explanation of being anti-fragile. Found it interesting! In book form, though, I feel I didn’t get much out of it. Kind of short, kind of Covid heavy so it’s not super timely, and information you’ll find sprinkled in books like these elsewhere.

So maintain your happiness with this book, I think?!

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Happier, No Matter What offers a heartfelt, empowering perspective on navigating life's toughest challenges, from loss and grief to finding happiness and resilience. With practical advice and an inspiring story, it encourages a journey of healing and personal growth, making it a great resource for anyone seeking hope and strength.

[Yayane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book for how straight to the point, complete and resourceful it was. at the end the author states that we'll probably go back to our lives without applying any of the principles he shared unless we give it one try. just to experiment with it. I hope to try some of these (already started with tracking and taking my recovery times) and to come back to this book often to harvest some more whenever necessary.

[Andy Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

I heard Tal in a webinar and thought his advice and approach made sense so was not surprised to find his book does too. I like the holistic approach to happiness that he shares and the message of how small changes can not only make you happier but improve the lives of others too.

[Zach Van Tol · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short, little reminder that we aren’t our emotions, just an active observer of them. Feelings come and go and happiness is temporary, but experiencing sorrow proves our humanity— the only people who don’t experience sadnesses are psychotic or dead. There are a lot of small tools about ways to experience happiness more often:)

[Shivani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great content especially focusing on the hard times one goes through. The five core elements mentioned in the book indirectly lead to a person's happiness and well-being, and their explanations really make sense. It is better if the reader implements the activities and does the check-ins at the end of each element chapter. Overall, great insights!

[Patrick Probably DNF · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great and pithy guide to living a happier life based on your sense of wholeness or completeness. For an example of the style and content, search for the author's video, "Positive Psychology: the Science of Happiness," on YouTube.

[Kimberly Hedges · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you only read one book from Tal Ben-Shahar this is the one. The SPIRE method of happiness has been life changing to me. I first heard him describe it on the Mel Robbins podcast and I took notes it was so good. This book is more in-depth than the podcast but not as succinct.

[Zhanna Mi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book to remind oneself that it's ok to fail, ok to feel different emotions - both positive & negative, and one should be more grateful and more mindful every day. Loved it & added so many other authors to continue exploring this topic!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the message of this book. He offers little tips to turn things around and reframe your thinking in a growth mindset. I really appreciate the reminder that the expectation is not to be happy all the time and to feel your feelings. It's a great read to begin the year.

[Shawn Persinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing new but great reminders and well written.