Tantrum. Ghid de supraviețuire

by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, Ruxandra Comșa (Translator)

Sunteți părinții unui copil mic? Atunci sigur știți deja despre ce e vorba: prichindelul vostru adorabil, bine educat și politicos, se preface cât ai clipi într-un monstruleț urlător și de neconsolat. Locul de joacă e dintr-odată teren minat, cumpărăturile la supermarket devin brusc un coșmar, iar ora de culcare pare foarte, foarte departe. Simpla rostire a cuvântului „tantrum“ stârnește groaza printre părinți.

REBECCA SCHRAG HERSHBERG știe prea bine – doar e mama a doi băieți și psiholog specializat în copilăria timpurie. De aceea, a scris Tantrum. Ghid de supraviețuire , un manual extrem de necesar, în care detaliază pas cu pas gestionarea crizelor celor mici.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Audiobook

512 pages, Paperback

Published February 1, 2022

Reviews

[Tatevik · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the books that you won't be able to remember point by point, but when the situation emerges, you somehow act as advised in the book. It's a scientific book, explaining how brain functions, but at the same time the author explains everything so well, you will grasp the total meaning without any difficulty. Just putting here the content of the book, so I can remember later what it was about!

1. You Haven't Seen a Tantrum Until You've Seen My Toddler's Tantrums: When Should You Worry?
2. Really? This Is What You're Going to Melt Down Over?: Understanding Causes and Triggers
3. What's Going On in That Curious Little Mind?: Being Realistic about the Limitations of the Developing Brain
4. Why Can't I Handle This?: Parental Expectations, Baggage, and Emotions
5. Maybe If Things Were Just a Bit Less Crazy on the Home Front . . .: Family Dynamics and the Foundation for Reducing Tantrums
6. Of Course You'll Always Be My Sweet Little Baby (Except Possibly When You Pee in the Bath on Purpose): Preserving the Authentic Connection with Your Toddler
7. Who's Making the Rules Here?: Using Reasonable Structures and Routines to Help Your Toddler Feel Secure
8. OK. But. Now. What. Exactly. Should. I. Do?: Practical Strategies for Preventing and Deescalating Tantrums
9. Am I Making Things Worse?: Concrete Ways to Avoid Knee-Jerk Responses and Other Anti-Tools That Just Don't Work
10. Please Just Go to Sleep, Already!: How to Reduce Tantrums at Tough Times of Day, from Wake-Up to Bedtime
11. How Many Times Can We Order Pizza for Dinner? (a.k.a. Another Aborted Trip to the Supermarket): How to Reduce Tantrums in Tricky Settings, from the Big-Box Store to the Playground and Beyond
12. A Tantrum Is Quite Possibly the Last Thing I Need Right Now: How to Reduce Tantrums under Difficult Circumstances, from Travel to Moving to Divorce

[Narcisa Chiric · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cine crede că această carte vine la pachet cu un set de tehnici și strategii de aplicat se înșală. Ghidul acesta e mai mult decât complet: ne ajută să înțelegem ce sunt tantrumurile, ce le influențează, ce rol jucăm noi ca și părinții în ele, ce legătură are tipul de atașament și personalitatea copilului în crizele de afect. Ba mai mult de atât, normalizează aceste crize și explică de ce sunt atât de importante în dezvoltarea copiilor.

Iubirea și impunerea de limite sunt foarte necesare în diminuarea crizelor pe care le fac copii. Și cel mai important: cele două coexistă. Însă de cele mai multe ori le omitem și luăm personal comportamentul copiilor agravând fără intenție situația.

Plăcută și explicită, o consider una din cărțile esențiale de parenting. Concluzia finală este că motivul crizelor este dat de nevoia copiilor de a fi auziți și înțeleși într-o situație în care ei nu se simt bine și caută ajutorul și siguranța părintelui iar modul de exprimare este cauzat de etapa precoce de dezvoltare.

[Malisa Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read on the topic. Lots of helpful tips and specific examples. Plus, she writes in a really engaging and humorous way and never talks down to you. A must read for any parent entering the tantrum phase.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good info but oh crap I have a toddler has the same info but it’s more fun to read.

[Emily Edlynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't even have a toddler anymore, but this book was still enormously helpful as a parent of children who sometimes can act like toddlers! As a child psychologist myself, I respected the psychologist author's ability to integrate the science of child development and behavior with the realities of daily parenting. She makes the book engaging with her humble and relatable voice, while also offering practical tips that you can start using right away. I highly recommend this book for any parent struggling with child tantrums at any age!

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for parents and families of toddlers. I took away some great strategies and basic brain understanding of my little one. We are about to travel long distance and I just have so many more tools in my tool belt. I highly recommend this book for anyone raising a toddler! You will feel better!

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was sometimes funny but mostly dry reading for me. I also didn't really glean anything new then what I am already hearing from my partner on what I need to change in my parenting style. Great advise though and provides ample examples.

[Botezatu Mihaela Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am terminat ieri de citit această carte frumoasă, amuzantă și cu idei clare și de ajutor pentru orice părinte care se confruntă cu un mic ursuleț contrariat adesea de lucruri mici sau mari

După cum bine știm, tantrumurile sau stările de afect sunt perfect normale la micuții noștri curioși exploratori și au un rol important în descoperirea emoțiilor și managerierea lor ulterioară. Copiii nu se nasc deja "învățați" cu nervii, frustrarea, fericirea, supărarea, sentimentul de neputință etc și atunci când se lovesc, pur și simplu, de vreo astfel de stare nu știu s-o gestioneze. De aceea noi trebuie să fim acolo, să le validăm emoțiile dar să-i învățăm sau, mai bine zis, ajutăm, să se cunoască și să treacă prin aceste zbuciumuri atât de tulburătoare dar străine lor.

Mi-au plăcut mult stilul autoarei — ludic dar bine documentat și reflectat de propria-i meserie — metodele prezentate de aceasta și faptul că avem și exemple practice, nu doar teorie, teorie, teorie și nimic mai mult. De multe ori ne lovim de teorie pură în cărțile de parenting, idei expuse pompos dar fără vreo sugestie de a le pune și în practică. 😅 O recomand cu sinceritate și căldură. Totuși, rețineți, vă rog, nicio carte nu va fi 100% potrivită pentru voi și puiul vostru! Fiecare carte de parenting însă e o cărămidă care fortifică procesul înțelegerii, ajutorării și alinării micului mic. 🥹

[Kristen McBee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A solid one-stop-shop for the why and how of tantrums. A great review if you're familiar with the "gentle parenting" genre. Hershberg says things in a clear and relatable way and even shares her own blunders. There is zero judgement from her (she says as much at least five times), and this may be the best line of the whole book, found on page 106 in the paperback:

"It turns out that if your parenting style involves equal and abundant measures of both love and limits, you're doing more than OK and many of the other details we, as parents, obsess about pale in importance."

Whew. What a relief.

She has some gems of strategies - simple "tricks", if you will - to help prevent and de-escalate tantrums, and she also makes it very clear that it is impossible to prevent them all. It's a normal and necessary part of being a toddler. (Also, of being human, let's be real.)

[Heather Kincaid · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is good for parents who have little to no prior knowledge of child behavior patterns and things you can do to retroactively prevent tantrums. It focuses mostly on the ABC model of behavior management and gives a few seemingly obvious suggestions for preventing tantrums (consistency/schedules/emotional awareness/etc).

[Suzie Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

My reason for reading this book was because of the byline in the title, not the title itself. And the author does an amazing job of detailing what is going on in our child's mind. Throughout the time I've been reading this book, I've implemented suggestions by the author, and by golly, they have worked. My understanding of my son has increased and both of our attitudes have benefitted.

[Miss Cecile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of practical advice, real life examples and step by step instructions. I never felt like I was being talked down to, rather it felt like a conversation with a very knowledgeable friend. I felt like I was being given real skills and even more, a real understanding of why toddlers tantrum and how to help them through it.

[Remah Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so helpful and encouraging. I really appreciate the candid style and practical suggestions offered to support little ones through navigating emotions and cultivating healthy connections with parents. I highly recommend!

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book and found it helpful. It's interesting and useful to understand toddlers' developmental states and what they are and aren't capable of, and it's also important to remember that we can't avoid tantrums 100% of the time.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first, I thought this sounds too much like the book “how to speak so your child will listen” but as I continued, I found this book unique in many ways, and i really enjoyed the examples it gave as well as the advice which seems doable.

[Roan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, fast read with lots of clear basics for respectful parenting of littles. Recommend.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful book for toddler/preschooler having behavior issues. After reading a lot of these books, I was skeptical this one would have anything new to say, but it really does.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most helpful resource!

[Andrew R · Rating 5 out of 5]

So helpful!

Practical advice with the right amount of developmental insight. We were struggling with tantrums and have already started to manage them better.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Lots of great ideas!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was very informative and straight forward. I didn't need the author's sass but it was otherwise well done.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd recommend this to any parent.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great guidebook for families with tantrum prone children.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Guessing on the end-date of finishing this book. It was helpful and well-written.

[Meeh Wan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful and very funny.

[Susan]

Helfpul, both parents should read

[Rebekah Diamond · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a parenting author and pediatrician and this is the best book on tantrums out there. It’s what I use personally and professional. Couldn’t recommend more highly!

[Lauren Roennfeldt · Rating 4 out of 5]

A down to earth easy way to read about the tricky things. Some things are obvious but always a good reminder.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Tons of actionable suggestions and helpful information. Also very readable! Highly recommend.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first sentence sets the tone for this book, “Hi. I can't believe you pulled it off. You found a few minutes of downtime to start this book.” Immediately when I read that, I'm like, “This is going to be great.” I felt understood. Then the author says, “I get it. I do. I, too, am a parent. I have two little boys twenty-one months apart. Did I mention I get it?” It’s so refreshing. There are so many experts out there that it's refreshing for an expert to be a relatable mom.

The book explains that a tantrum is just an expression of an emotion that's too overwhelming for kids to process. The author says that we don't want to extinguish tantrums altogether because there are benefits to tantrums. That's when kids are figuring out who they are, how the world works, how relationships work, and how feelings work. It's all about seeing the triggers, finding out why the tantrum is happening, and figuring out which battles to fight. It's important to take them one at a time until there's a pattern. This book provides ways to deal with tantrums as they come up. There's no right or wrong answer. There's just an answer that you pick and choose and then keep going, and then see where it leads you so you can adjust if needed.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/reb...