Small Town Girl: Love, Lies and the Undercover Police

by Donna McLean

"You live with someone for two years and then . . . they simply don't exist."

Over 40 years, two British police units acted undercover to infiltrate activist groups. At least 20 of those officers deliberately targeted women and entered relationships with them. One of those women was me. This is my story.

Men wrote the police files. They wrote the scripts and the headlines. Men wrote the court orders to make us anonymous and they will sit in judgement at the coming public inquiry. In a system that doesn't see women, you have to fight to be heard. When they take your identity, you have to find your voice.

Learning the truth nearly destroyed me - but an accidental activist was born.

A voice at the centre of the Spy Cops scandal. The great love story of Donna McLean's life wasn't just built on lies, it was one. With an inquiry underway, Small Town Girl is a reclamation of a truth that was ruthlessly buried.

REVIEWS

"Mind-blowing, gut-wrenching, shocking and beautifully written." - Chris Atkins

"Utterly compelling from the first page." - Kerry Hudson

"Donna McLean experienced the stuff of nightmares. But this profoundly compelling memoir reclaims the truth with eloquence and guts. " - Wendy Erskine

"Bold and brave, Donna McLean's courageous and vivid Small Town Girl is both a timely exposure of corruption and a searing story of emotional betrayal' - Catherine Taylor

"Small Town Girl is a revelation, it is a brilliant and brave quest for truth, I found it deeply moving and brutally frank and honest." - Salena Godden

"Donna suffered horrifically but it is a testament to her immense courage that she was able to take these deeply disturbing events and channel them into confronting the state and its diabolical abuses towards women." - Maxine Peake

"This is a thoughtful and intimate account of the lived experience of state sanction betrayals. Donna and the other victims of the Spycops disgrace shine through with wit, kindness and resilience. This should be mandatory reading for all in the Met police, indeed everyone." - Siobhan McSweeney

Genres: True Crime, Memoir, Nonfiction, Autobiography, Biography

224 pages, Hardcover

Published February 3, 2022

Reviews

[Miriam Smith (A Mother’s Musings) · Rating 5 out of 5]

- “You live with someone for two years and then…they simply don’t exist”

I wasn’t sure at all what to expect from Donna McLean’s”SMALL TOWN GIRL” as I can’t remember much about the #SpyCops scandal. However, I was instantly drawn into Donna’s story and found it to be addictive and quite frankly astonishing, that any of it was allowed to happen.

Launched in 2011, eight women won a historic case against the Metropolitan Police. These women were deceived into long-term intimate relationships by five officers who had infiltrated social and environmental justice campaigns. The women asserted that the actions of the undercover officers breached their human rights and the right to form relationships without unjustified interference by the state. However the women faced legal challenges by the police, who constantly tried to strike out the case and have it sent to a secret court. After a four year legal battle, the Metropolitan Police agreed they had abused the women’s human rights and had been deceived into relationships by police officers spying on activist groups spanning nearly three decades.

When Donna McLean learns that the man she had been living with and known for two years before he disappeared, isn’t who he said he was, she is totally stunned. Persuaded by close friends that she needs to raise her own case against the police, “Small Town Girl” tells Donna’s story in her own words, with vivid recollections and the intense emotional betrayals she discovered as she built her case. Donna admits herself, that discovering the truth nearly destroyed her and you can see how brave she was, laying herself bare and reliving the nightmare, in order to bring the police to account.

I found Donna’s and the other women’s stories totally mind blowing and really can’t imagine how these women felt upon realising the intimate life they thought was real was built upon lies, purely to infiltrate certain activist groups.

I have since researched the #SpyCops scandal and I’m pleased I’ve been made aware of Donna’s and the other women’s stories. “Small Town Girl” is thought provoking, chilling and a book that will stay with me for a very long time. A definite must read!

#SmallTownGirl - Love, Lies and the Undercover Police - 5 stars

[Sarah Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

There but for the grace of God...

You know when someone tells you a story that sounds so outlandish that you begin to suspect it's a bit exaggerated? Maybe the person making claims is mistaken, attention-seeking, revengeful?

Well, Donna's story is just like that except it's all true. Yes, it beggars belief that a young woman going about her business at work and in her social life could be targeted by undercover police and used as cover to spy on ordinary people involved in fairly low-level left wing politics.

But Donna's written Small Town Girl with such clarity, intelligence and poignancy that you believe every word. And that makes the historic and subsequent behaviour of the Metropolitan Police inexcusable.

If you think the people in authority are there to serve and should be accountable to the public, you should read this book. It's brilliant!

[Monika Armet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is based on a true story of Donna McLean.

She hasn’t seen her ex, Carlo Neri for 10 years and last thing she heard was that he put on weight and returned to his native Italy.

One day, she discovers that Carlo, a man whom she was engaged to and lived with for two years, was an undercover policeman spying on activists groups. As you can imagine, she is absolutely stunned.

Her whole relationship was based on lies and deceit. Donna finds out that Carlo was married the whole time he was with her and his wife was carrying his child.

This honest and stark account of Donna’s describes the aftermath of when she discovered that Carlo was part of the #SpyCops scandal. Donna explains how she met other women who were also in relationships with undercover officers – some of them even had children with them!

I was so angry that this has happened to these females and that the Met Police hasn’t put a stop to it.

This is a story that everyone needs to read. I applaud Donna as it could not have been easy to write this book.

[Margot McCuaig · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautifully written but stark memoir. Donna McLean’s reflection of discovering she had been living a lie with the man she loved (and thought loved her) who was in reality an undercover “spycop” is shocking. That the state could sanction such betrayal should be unfathomable. Unfortunately it’s not. Donna is a force of nature to have come through this with such power. Read it.

[Em Nightreader · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very brave book detailing a terrible experience. I couldn't put this down. Thought provoking and scary. The 'it could happen to anyone' message came across clearly. This is a book that people should be made aware of.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an important and uncomfortable read. It was a good length, considering how tough the subject matter is. It was well written and really readable. My only complaint is that it was poorly edited, but this didn't detract from how good it was.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the whole this book is great, however, it’s a bit of a jumbled mess. You keep going because you need to know how Donna moves through the justice process and the grieving process. The Met is awful.

[Georgie Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing, haunting, important

[Susie Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Donna meets Carlo in 2002 at an anti-war rally she’s instantly attracted to him. Their relationship moves quickly and three months later they are engaged - although a ring never appears. They plan their wedding, pick their future kid’s and dog’s names and everything is perfect, until it’s not. Over the two years they are together Carlo never introduces Donna to his family - his ex won’t let their son meet Donna, his sister is massively depressed and his dad isn’t a nice person to be around, the time is never right. Except none of this is true.

Eleven years after they split up Donna receives a text from an old friend that will go on to change her life in ways she could never image. He wants to talk to her about Carlo and Donna already thinks she knows why.

The spy cops scandal, where Met Police officers started relationships with women, sometimes even to the extent of having children together, in order to gain information on activist groups isn’t something I knew much about before picking up this book. I found the whole story extraordinary, of course I’m aware of undercover cops but I had no idea things like this had gone on in our own country. McLean has done a fantastic job of bringing her story to life, at times I had to remind myself that this wasn’t fiction and was in fact a memoir. The most chilling part of this story is the sense that this could happen to anybody and I leave this book feeling a little more informed but with the desire to learn more about the stories McLean references in her book. I’d highly recommend checking this one out as I think it will stay with me for a long time.

[Sarah Faichney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donna McLean is a warrior among women. "Small Town Girl" is a brave, unflinching account of her unwitting, non-consensual, involvement with a spy cop. She relays her experience with honesty and integrity, illustrating the incredible toll the process of seeking justice has taken on her, and the other women in similar situations. 

I'm so angry! My eyes were popping out of my head as I read. How can this behaviour be sanctioned? It really does beggar belief and I'm extremely grateful to Donna McLean for claiming her space and sharing her pain, in order that we can learn lessons. I fervently hope that we do. 

McLean's account is heartbreaking. It's painfully shocking to realise that the very people tasked with keeping all of us safe can be so cruel and self-serving. I can only imagine how it must feel to live through such an experience. "Small Town Girl" is an engaging, eye-opening read and I highly recommend it. I hope this is the beginning of a long, and successful, writing career for Donna McLean.

[Gillian Courtauld · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, compelling story. Makes me hate the police a little bit more.

[Phil Chamberlain · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this powerful memoir Donna McLean reveals how she was unknowingly tricked into a relationship with an undercover police officer - so he could spy on her activist friends.
Donna was in love with Carlo and they had agreed to marry. They came up with names for their future children. And then he faked a crisis and disappeared. It was only years later that other activists pieced together the pieces and broke the news to her.
Donna’s story is not an isolated one. Nearly a dozen women on the UK have come forward with similar stories about a special unit within the Met Police which infiltrated political campaigns.
If you were highlighting a miscarriage of justice - you got a police spy on your group. If you were acting to stop climate change - you got spied on. More than 1,000 groups since 1968 from feminist support networks to elected politicians and trade unions.
And one tactic for the #spycops was to steal the identity of a dead child, form a relationship with someone connected even loosely with activists and then use that to infiltrate groups.
In a little over 200 pages Donna packs a powerful emotional punch as she skilfully weaves memories of her time with Carlo and her battle afterward to get some kind of truth.
Donna writes honestly about what she has been through in powerful prose that shocks, but is also laced with black humour. She charts a very personal journey as well as s political one.
It is also, importantly, a story by a woman about women and about men using women. How do you seize back your identity when men have stolen it, secretly written it up and changed it to suit their needs?
Gripping and insightful on many levels - this is highly recommended.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

True story of a woman who was duped into a relationship with an undercover 'spy cop' - a special branch Met police officer, entering into intimate relationships in order to infiltrate activist groups. Her story is told, mostly chronologically, from meeting an attractive Italian 'activist' at a demonstration to their almost 'perfect' relationship, though with not fully explained absences and a distinct lack of friends and relatives to meet, before his disappearance after feigned mental health problems. Then a challenge to uncover his true identity (not as much as some of the other duped women, since he appears to have given her ready access to genuine photographs of family members, which were traceable on social media). These women's stories are truly shocking, although I would really like to hear from the perspective of the men's actual wives (most, like 'Carlo' were married and had families). Donna, who has bravely revealed her true identity despite the courts making anonymity orders, goes a long way to showing how anyone can be duped in the right circumstances in her narrative (though gaps, for me remain - why Special Branch were interested at all, certainly to the level of making this 'investment' in man-power, is not clear from the anodyne background given and some of the explanations of legal aspects do not chime entirely if you have legal knowledge) and it is a very interesting and touching read.

[beckys_book_blog · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the true story of Donna McLean who found out that the man she had lived with for two years (and been engaged to) was actually an undercover police officer. Carlo disappears completely from Donna's life after staging some family problems and ending the relationship.
'Over 40 years, two British police units acted undercover to infiltrate activist groups. More than 20 of those officers deliberately targeted women and entered relationships with them. This is my story.'

Donna only found out that her previous relationship was built on lies, 10 years later. This book shows how Donna relives her past piecing the evidence together to uncover the truth about her 'spy cop' fiancé until the day he left her to return to his normal life.

I found this story both fascinating and unbelievable! From reading this book it seems it could so easily happen to anyone. It was so interesting to read how Carlo had formed a relationship just to try and infiltrate her activist friends and how convincing this was. This, understandably, had a massive impact on Donna's life and part of the story is about her and the other women attempting to seek a trial and retribution for this .
I found this an insightful and interesting read that I finished in an evening (the book is only 200 pages!)

[Mr Samuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A jaw-dropping and disturbing story

Ms McClean recounts a disturbing tale of how she met and fell in love with a man she thought was the love of her life. It turned out he using her to infiltrate political movements she was associated with, as he was a married under-cover police officer.

The book reads well, much like a well paced novel and it is obviously a cathartic exercise for the author. It raises several disturbing questions which are not in the author’s gift to answer, such was why are the police prepared to go to such extraordinary lengths and expense to infiltrate fringe political groups? We’re talking about animal rights and anti-war protestors here, not Al Qaeda. If the author’s account is accurate, the only criminality came from the under-cover cops who acted as agents provocateurs.

Nowadays, the law talks about ‘informed consent’ for sexual intercourse and this story brings us into very murky waters indeed.

A must read for anyone interested in how the state is prepared to shred the rights and lives of individuals to protect the government of the day.

[nutwoman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This peaked my interest in Waterstones after reading the criminal case of Monica v DPP a couple years ago. I love reading true stories and first-hand accounts of what people have experienced. I was thus very pleased when I immediately noticed that the story was told almost in the style of a fictional narrative - it was this that led me to finish the book in practically one sitting. McClean’s writing is very emotional and, as she says she wished to do, discussed how she was feeling at the time alongside the facts. The little details about Carlo and the honeymoon romance made me think of the little things I enjoy in my own relationship, and how devastated I would be if I discovered that all of these little things were just a farce - as McClean says, all these acts were tainted by doubt and suspicion after the truth was uncovered. I gave this book four stars because although I understand it is a memoir and not an account of what happened from start to finish, I had a bit of difficulty placing the timeline of everything and I found there were some gaps in the events that took place that made certain things hard to visualise.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was already aware of a lot of this story as I read a book from one of the other women, the first one to be released about this situation, Deep Deception, so I knew the basis of this story as there was a section for Donna's story in there.

It was still a good read even though I knew a lot of it, it was good to get a different perspective from a different woman conned into a relationship with an undercover police officer. I never managed to watch the documentary around this but I believe there was one and will look for it as the stories from these women are truly astonishing. Spending lives of their years with men who they believe they will spend the rest of their lives with, only for them to disappear is just unimaginable.

Another heartbreaking story really well written and very bravely told.

[Cams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant book.

Donna's story is not only engaging; it's also really well written. It's hard to believe that this is her first book. Her openness and vulnerability combine into a bit of a superpower, something I can relate to in how I make my own content around mental health and addiction recovery. I find it so inspiring when I see others' courageously sharing their truth.

I read the hardcover edition and the paper stock was really nice - a weird comment perhaps for a book review, but I noticed. Same with the fonts - I loved how they changed to represent handwritten notes and emails and text messages. That was a nice touch.

Now that Donna has shared her amazing story, I hope that she finds herself writing more. I'm sure there are depths to be plumbed and I know from having read some of her articles that there are definitely more great books in there!

[amally · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book "Small Town Girl: Love, Lies and the Undercover Police" by Donna McLean offers a riveting and deeply personal account of the #SpyCops scandal. Donna's story is both shocking and thought-provoking, and it offers a unique perspective on the experiences of women who were targeted by undercover police officers who infiltrated activist groups.

The book is well-written and provides a compelling narrative that draws the reader in from the beginning. Donna's account is vivid and emotional, and it is clear that she has relived the trauma of her experience in order to share her story. The book is a must-read for anyone interested in social justice issues and the abuse of power by those in positions of authority.

[Jessie Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember hearing about the spycops scandal, but I never fully understood quite how invasive and immoral it was. I also hadn't realised the scale and the number of people affected. It's a piece of recent history that isn't talked about enough. This book was incredibly thought-provoking and quite scary. What a brave and eloquent author.

The only reason it's four stars instead of five was I found the narrative voice slightly confusing in part. In the beginning it was very much anchored in the present, however, by the end, major events were referenced in a few lines which I'd have loved a full firsthand account of.

[Raakel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This just didnt work for me. I was very keen to hear the author’s story and find the topic very fascinating and interesting. However, this book was mainly about the aftermath of the relationship, the author learning the truth years later when she has already moved on, meeting up with other victims, working with journalists to share the story etc. Where is the actual story in this book? That’s what I wanted to read about. Its hard to find the aftermath interesting without hearing the main story first.

[Phil Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

The UK police sent officers undercover to infiltrate various campaigns and protest groups, these were organizations not aimed at hurting people, aiding foreign powers or organising terror, but simply ones exercising their democratic rights. Many of these officers formed relationships, lived with women, even having children with them. This is a memoir of one such woman - Donna McLean. It stands as a powerful indictment of the disgraceful, anti-democratic policy which shows just how fragile our hard-fought freedoms are.

[Helen Salsbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find this really hard to review - perhaps because it's real, also because I found myself profoundly shocked while reading it. It's well written and compelling and brave. And yet it's also telling a story of something so shocking that it ought not to be true. And yet it is.
I find myself struggling to find words, and ultimately, want to say, 'read it yourself' then we can talk about it. And no doubt I will be talking about it with my friends, in fact I've already started.

[Jess - The Hexed Library]

Not rating this because it's a memoir but I do have a few things to note.

Firstly, this story was definitely worth telling - I was absolutely livid while reading all of the crap these women went through.

The story structure however - I was not a fan. I didn't like the meandering back and forth through time trying to piece together this life to see what the full extent of Carlo's betrayal was. I prefer a more direct, linear approach to a story.

Definitely worth the read though.

[LYNNE · Rating 4 out of 5]

The bravery shown by these women in the face of emotional warfare is outstanding. I can’t comprehend how you rebuild trust after this. What sort of man signs up to a job like this in the full knowledge of the devastation it will produce. The lies they told are heartbreaking. Who do you go to when it’s the police breaking the law ?

[Jill Rattray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book. Donna lays out her experiences of the Spycops scandal in great detail, taking us back and forth from the time she was with this guy, to finding out who he really is, and the campaign for justice. Great writing, horrifying story, I hope Carlo steps on Lego every single day for the rest of his pathetic life.

[Matthew Everett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A superb and unsettling read, the author writes fantastically. I was left wanting more investigation into why the police were using these tactics and maybe more of the police side if the story but understand that would be difficult to obtain.

[Chloe Louise]

A beautiful, lucid account of the psychological torture caused by undercover policing, both in the moment and in its aftermath.

[Jack Mckeever · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Probably the bravest non-fic book of 2022 so far.

[Kirstie Hawkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shocking tale of how public money was spent on the seduction of an innocent young woman, with no apparent policing justification.