What We Wish Were True: Reflections on Nurturing Life and Facing Death

by Tallu Schuyler Quinn

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Facing death is the hardest thing of all, and Tallu Quinn faces hers in a way that broke and healed my heart. This book is a beautiful tribute to life, to truth, and to love.”—Glennon Doyle, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed

Profound essays on nurturing life while facing a terminal diagnosis, from the dedicated humanitarian and young mother creating “a vibrant legacy for us to hold on to and learn from” (Ann Patchett)

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE Kirkus Reviews

“I am holding both my hope and my grief together in the same hands. It is a loose hold, looser than I am accustomed to. My love is so much bigger than me.”

Nonprofit leader and minister Tallu Schuyler Quinn spent her adult life working to alleviate hunger, systemic inequality, and food waste, first as a volunteer throughout the United States and abroad, and then as the founder of the Nashville Food Project, where she supported the vibrant community work of local food justice in Middle Tennessee. That all changed just after her fortieth birthday, when she was diagnosed with stage IV glioblastoma, an aggressive form of terminal brain cancer.

In What We Wish Were True, Quinn achingly grapples with the possibility of leaving behind the husband and children she adores, and what it means to live with a terminal diagnosis and still find meaning. “I think about how my purpose may be the same in death as it continues to be in life—surrendering to the hope that our weaknesses can be made strong, that what is broken can be made whole,” she writes.

Through gorgeous prose, Quinn masterfully weaves together the themes of life and death by integrating spiritually nourishing stories about family, identity, vocational call, beloved community, God’s wide welcome, and living with brain cancer. Taken together, these stunning essays are a piercing reminder to cherish each moment, whether heartbreaking or hilarious, and cast loose other concerns.

As a mother, a kindred spirit, and a dear friend, Tallu Schuyler Quinn looks into our eyes with well-earned tears in her own and tells us the bittersweet We are all searching for what has already found us—present and boundless love. This love will deliver us and never let us go.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

183 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 19, 2022

Reviews

[Melody · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Christian books should be more explicit, I hate reading cancer memoirs that suddenly veer off into God's Will and God's Grace and all that religious horseshit. Bailed out in a big hurry. If you like that sort of thing, this is the sort of thing you like.

[Ruby Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful book is hard to rate and review because to do so feels like rating a person's thoughts and insights before death. The author, Tallu Schuyler Quinn, was a nonprofit leader, minister, and volunteer who founded the Nashville Food Project. At forty, she was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. Her writings are profound and sometimes feel disconnected in that they don't follow a linear pattern, but they are infused with the liminal space which she gracefully inhabited. It was sometimes hard to read, and I read it in portions rather than all at once. One of the best chapters was "Angels in the Architecture" where she writes about different ways of seeing, how as illness took her eyesight she was gifted with sight through meditation, dreams, and prayers. As well, she saw constant faces and figures in shadows, in tree branches, or along the road, and a more "complete" sight that included hindsight, foresight, and insight. Passages like this made me feel hopeful. Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC.

[Leisa Hammett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had of known this beautiful human being when she walked this plane. So many of my Nashville peers did. What open-hearted, abundant love for life and other humans. What strength, beauty of heart and creativity. This young woman lived large. She lived to love and to serve through the gift of food. She didn't just lament about large global issues, she rolled up her sleeves and did something! She packed a lot into her 40 years. She was humble but she knew her mission was to serve. And serve, she did, in her last year, through writing this gift of a book.

I was so moved by the many beautiful passages I dogeared and highlighted. Awed at her fortitude to write a book while rearing a family, undergoing treatment, and...dying.

This is a manual for life. And death.

[Leona · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful brave book. Lots of common area for me: my brother-in-law passed from glioblastoma (with similar therapies and experiences), I serve at a foodbank, I have beloved children…so heart wrenching to witness the process of accepting a terminal illness in a young wife and mother. The quotes didn’t all resonate for me, and the artwork was murky in ebook format, yet still the love and light shone in the text. I particularly loved 'Chickenman' and the quote 'I can close my eyes into a folded prayer made of one breath in and one breath out'. I recommend this book.

[Nomski · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an old friend of the author, being a part of her journey on caring bridge was an honor. This book is heartbreaking and beautiful and one I'll always cherish. Tallu was truly one of a kind, and this book reminds me to do my best to be more present, more vulnerable, and more real with the people I love. Nothing is ever guaranteed but our eventual exit from this life as we know it, so dream big, love big, laugh and eat and enjoy each other, and do our best to be grateful even in times of great challenge.

[Teresa Young · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m sorry this woman died. She made an incredible contribution to end hunger. These essays are hardly profound, though. In fact, some of the religious undertones are actually kind of disturbing. There’s one essay where a friend of hers decides that all the teen girls in the youth group have too much long hair - “abundance” - they call it. So they convince the girls to cut off their hair at some teen event. It’s for a charity to make wigs, which on the surface sounds noble. The girls who didn’t have permission could use *Tallu’s direct office line* to call their parents to get it. It all seems like coercion and peer pressure. I think someone really keen on being reflective and dedicated toward social justice would take a more critical lens to those actions. It’s just very self-aggrandizing.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard to read

As a hospice nurse, I am always striving to learn what my patients and their families experience as they navigate a terminal illness. I find glioblastoma to be a particularly difficult diagnosis for all involved. Those who succumb are usually young. The symptoms are terrifying. I love the honesty of this writer nd it is heartbreaking and wonderful to read at the same time.

[Sarah Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good! Please, please read.

As a healthcare worker I’ve read many books on grief and dying but Tulla’s is one of a kind. I wish I had known her in person, but with this book she is offering a gorgeous part of herself with the world, as she did in life so she will continue to do in death. I wish all the best to her family and friends who loved and continue to love her. What an impact she had on this world.

[Emily]

Can’t give this one a rating because I kept feeling like this book wasn’t written for me - but rather for her kids, family and friends. And I’m ok with that. As someone who’s spent time in Nashville, it felt familiar to me and I learned from her perspective on grief and dying.

[Sandy Clingan Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a biased reader - I have known and loved and admired Tallu for decades. I am grateful for the honest truth she captured here. Life is indeed precious. And that is hard to remember that every day. But this book reminded me of that in gritty, sweet and heartfelt ways.

[Loverly Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 49%

As much as I tried, I couldn't bring myself to finish this. I just couldn't connect to it.

[Martha C]

While depressing because I knew she died, I loved her essays! She opened herself for all who read, to see. She was a very brave woman.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is strange and hard to rate a memoir written by a dying woman! This was really beautiful, if a little God-heavy for me personally.

[Digger's Mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughtful, transparent, sometimes painfully honest thoughts as the author journeys through her own end of life story.

[tori moon · Rating 4 out of 5]

it’s quite unreal to read the words of somebody when they were dying after they have died. also i cried.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an audio listen. Hard subject but was thought provoking.

[Willy · Rating 5 out of 5]

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Beautiful tender awe inspiring. I am so grateful to have had the gift of reading this book, and I learned so much.

[Soumaya K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t really have words for this book! The author is so vulnerable and raw with the things that she is facing in life as she nears death. I love the honest approach to this book as she discusses the hard things, the beautiful things and everything in between.