Desmond is just your average omega working an average job consulting for Waste Resources Consolidated. He. Loves. Trash. So does his best friend and coworker, a ferret shifter. After accidentally hitting a vampire with his car, he's none the wiser that he's just met his fated mate. Will his vampire come back to him in time? Will Tammy stop eating things out of the trash?
Bit and Run is a short novel full of trash, humor, a little bit of knotty fun, and angry pregnant ferrets. If you like a touch of silliness in your romance, hard heats, and love at first bite, download Bit and Run today!
So there was a human named Desmond who has dark skin, we know this because of how many times we are told and we also have a vampire who has blue eyes, which is also pointed out a lot. They meet, vamp bites man, leaves, then later comes back to knock up the omega.
Des also has his work friend move in, who is a pregnant ferret shifter.
Vamp comes back later, finds out about the baby, then they are together and baby is born.
This story needs editing. Major editing. Words were missing, genders were switched, words were put in that made no sense, a chapter was misplaced in the middle of a page, when there were more than one person on the page, the descriptions make no sense.
For example
"That what you did?" Desmond raised a brow and positioned his honey-colored eyes on his.
This was in the middle of a conversation between Des and Tammy.
Desmond waddled out with his omega, hand on his belly.
I enjoyed Desmond and Seskel together. They complimented one another nicely. I also really liked how Seskel was so excited and open to having a baby with Demond. Tammy was a nice side character and I loved her fierce friendship with Desmond.
I didn’t like the POV changes in the middle of chapters. I didn’t like how the story didn’t seem very fleshed out. I mean, Desmond was going to bury a person he hit with his car. Hello? No one thought that made Desmond the bad guy here? The book also ends rather abruptly and I was terribly disappointed we didn’t get to see Desmond as a vampire at all.
First off, I actually enjoyed the general storyline of this book. It has some good humor and there was a nice, albeit, underdeveloped world building. Most of my criticism is the total lack of editing. Like none! Aside from an immense amount of grammatical errors, punctuation problems, and general sentence structure, the most irritating part was the constant misuse of characters names. Constantly mixing up what character is talking or what character they are talking about is a huge distraction and after the fourth or fifth time just plain laziness. There are a lot of resources to help new authors that don't necessarily cost. I, myself, have done proofreading for several well received authors for free and I know I'm not the only one out there. Beta readers are also a great way to get feedback on plot holes and areas that you might need to expound on or tighten up. I honestly hate giving low reviews but in the face of so many errors, I really had no other choice. Polish this up and re-release it. It has potential in there.
I liked the storyline. There was little character development however and the POVs were strange. Each chapter had a header of presumably the characters viewpoint you were going to be reading but it always seemed to be shifting throughout the chapters. I think another round of editing would be helpful in improving the story.