All We Want: Building the Life We Cannot Buy

by Michael Harris

Our endless consumption is untenable. (And it makes us miserable, too.) Can we reimagine "the good life"? All We Want reveals the origin of consumer culture—from the early ad men who learned to foment desire, to the politicians that promised endless material growth. Then, award-winning author Michael Harris reveals powerful alternatives to the consumer the enduring worlds of Craft, the Sublime, and Care. Called "this generation's McLuhan" (The Province), Harris has written a deeply personal book that’s part meditation and part manifesto. Through interviews with philosophers, scientists, artisans, and economists, Harris pulls apart the narrative of consumerism and hands us new ways to measure our lives. All We Want is a blazing takedown of our past mistakes and a roadmap to a healthier future. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Environment, Science, Sociology, Philosophy, Audiobook, Self Help

180 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 28, 2021

About the author

Michael Harris is the bestselling author of The End of Absence, Solitude, and All We Want. A recipient of the Governor General’s Literary Award, he is also a faculty member in the Literary Journalism program at the Banff Centre and the writer of the award-winning podcast Command Line Heroes. He lives with his husband in Vancouver. MichaelJohnHarris.com

Reviews

[Lilli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm… felt pretty meandering to me, but had some nice moments. Full review to come!

[Ann Douglas · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is beautifully written and thoroughly researched, but somehow it left me wanting more. (Ironic, I know, given the title.)

I felt the author could have gone deeper in his discussion of care by talking more about who typically is called upon to do the bulk of that care work in our culture -- women! -- and, more specifically, why we need to more properly recognize and value this vital, life-sustaining work.

I also thought that he missed an important point in his discussion about a universal basic income. He seems to be worried that being guaranteed a basic income would rob people of the joy and meaning they might otherwise derive from their work. But then, in the next breath, he is urging workers to find ways to take pleasure in the joy of mastering a craft. I feel like he missed the opportunity to connect the dots here -- by pointing out that being freed of the need to earn a living could free some people up to master a particular craft, and to share the fruits of that joyous labour with the world. (What brilliant books of poetry are we missing out on, because their authors spend their days slogging away in an Amazon warehouse, and are too exhausted to write at night?)

My final criticism is that this book doesn't really add anything new or noteworthy to the conversation about what it means to lead a meaningful life. What it does provide is a beautifully crafted summary of what many people have already said and have been saying for quite some time. The book felt a little too perfect -- a little too polished -- to me. What I wanted was heart and soul and longing for something better. Something more.

[Andrea McDowell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was ok. Possibly a better book for someone new to these subjects.

Harris seems genuinely well-intentioned, but also so insulated by a life of relative privilege that he seems quite gobsmacked by things that are obvious to me (and I'm hardly living on the margins of society). In essence, he argues that Craft, the Sublime, and Care provide alternative ways of viewing human worth and needs that make a better story for our development and happiness than Consumerism.

Well ... yes. At least in part. But is this new? Women the world over are, largely, not protected from the necessity of care work and it goes far beyond ageing parents. Possibly if you don't have kids yourself and don't have close friends with kids this would seem new, but surely to the rest of us, the idea that caring for people (raising children) is a path to meaning is not revelatory. Nature writing has for centuries shown a path to the Sublime through contact with nature at every scale from the suburban to the planetary. And the success of corporate behemoths like Michaels and Home Depot surely show that people like to make things; Craft is not a fringe activity. Certainly, in most areas, making things from the first stage of harvesting resources to the final stage of a finished product is rare, but enough people cook with produce from their own gardens, surely, to make this not unusual?

If you have been entirely insulated from making things, hiking/nature, and taking care of people, you may learn something from this book. Otherwise I'd recommend skipping it in favour of authors with more lived experience. 2.5 stars, rounded up.

[Neil Pasricha · Rating 4 out of 5]

“There is an enormous difference between the adulthood that consumer culture promised and the one we inevitably inherit,” Michael writes on Page 127 of this tight 152-page journey exploring how we might write new stories of meaning that include forms of Craft, the Sublime, and Care. Michael is a truly wonderful writer and just hanging out with him and his frequently-cameoing husband Kenny is time well spent. So: how do we build the life we cannot buy? I feel like communities like this are a great place to start. This is a wonderful book mixing memoir, psychologist interviews, and long simmers in the bigger questions. Susan Orlean calls Michael "humane, insightful, and clear-eyed” and I highly recommend his work. I think my path to getting here was reading “I Have Forgotten How To Read” in 2018 The Globe and Mail and then picking up and absolutely falling in love with Solitude: In Pursuit of a Singular Life in a Crowded World. (Not quite it but if loneliness is ‘alone and sad’ then solitude is ‘alone and happy.’) and then hanging out with Michael for my podcast 3 Books in his Vancouver apartment. If you haven’t read Solitude, I might start there and then come read this next. And, I think if you like Susan Cain's books, then you'll really like his, too. At minimum All We Want will insert healthy pauses before the next push of the vending machine button depicted on the cover.

[Wendelle]

a short but profound book penned in contemplation of the BC wildfires, climate crisis, and pandemic crisis. Author Michael Harris reminds us of the myth of King Midas-- one who, with childish glee, thought he happened upon the secret trick to endless happiness, through the god-bequested fortune of the golden touch. But this consumption of endless gold only led him to ruin, and the loss of his daughter, and in some versions of the myth, death by starvation. The author reminds us that we face a similar crisis. A consumption-driven lifestyle and search for the next dopamine hit bought and brought by commercial recklessness, is something unsustainable for our planet, our landfills, and for which future generations will pay for. Instead, the author encourages us to fulfill our dopamine hits in 3 other ways. First, we could turn to the joy of craftsmanship: the joy and wellbeing of making things with our own hands, whether it's woodworking, baking, or gardening. The second is pursuit of the sublime, either in study such as physics or philosophy or literature, or reverential experiences of nature, landscapes, outdoor trails and geology. The last is to get the spike of gratification through the service and care towards other people. All of these are ways to the feeling of enrichment without seeking them in materialistic purchases or the thrill of consumption.

[Kenneth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thoughtful examination of the consumer narrative that governs our lives. Especially loved reading about the history of Edward Bernays (the "father" of PR), and the second half of the book where Harris presents other forms of narratives that we can live by -- ones that we can't easily consume and may require a kind of work, but may inject more meaning into our lives.

[Samantha Thomason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Main takeaway is that making/creating, time in nature, and caring for others are the cure to the downward spiral of our consumer culture. The narrative is a little clunky at times, but the thesis makes it worth the read.

[Magdelanye · Rating 4 out of 5]

the material world was trembling with coming change. The status quo was cracking against the limits of real life....The world scorched while we ate our ice cream. p4

What will keep us from eating the world? p14

Michael Harris proves again, in his delicately robust, poetic prose, the theory that awakening can happen at any age, and that to revert to a former way of seeing (blindness) is not possible. While many readers will have already experienced his stunning insights, that does not render them banal, and many others might be nudged into a broader awareness by his clear and concise observations.

But we are not so rational or so simple. Our wants can run counter to our well being. In fact our lives are riddled with contradiction and self-destruction. We may even destroy a planet for a few years more of material comfort. p37

We buy things in order to make solid our vaporous qualities. p51

Once he starts to question the order of things MH goes out of his way to investigate some of the paradoxes he encounters. He notes the currents and seismic shifts in what is considered acceptable and in the public response. As he connects the dots he also keeps an eye open for what is covered up by the new maps and what has been hijacked and/or twisted to fit another purpose.

It even became possible to shift the onus of ecological responsability away from polluting companies onto the consumer. p58

It gets harder and harder to buy our way into a good time. p144

And more and more people are looking to redefine what that might mean. One of the existential dangers of any awakening is being able to cope with the collapse of meaning and the state of meaninglessness that might provoke. Preferring not to get lost there, MH turns to philosophy and poetry that offers clues to satisfaction.

Change is always possible once we shake the idea that history is over. p72
The Earth is even now sliding past our conception of it. p113

Out of a basket of underappreciated practices, MH plucks three that he considers to be universally meaningful. Accordingly, he sets out to meet a genuine craftsman and to encounter the sublime while developing his capacity to care for others. This shines in his writing and gives this book a place in the intersection of spiritual adventure and social critique.

Was it really so hard to believe people can discover a new story about life's' purpose, that they could adopt a new narrative? p71

[Dylan T · Rating 3 out of 5]

Felt the book went in a different direction than what was implied, but so has the good messages

[Trina · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Thank you Libro.fm for the ALC. This book is powerful but also rather depressing so I advise reading it when your cup is full. The part about all of the birds that have disappeared was especially impactful to me, as the later sections on dementia.

[Claudia Rynkowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many recent books on climate change offer a grim message: we are doomed, no matter what. It is a well known fact that decreasing an individual's carbon footprint does little in a grand scheme where just a handful of global companies are the main drivers of greenhouse gas emissions. Michael Harris is not telling you to buy a tote bag, use beeswax food wrap, or drive an electric vehicle. Instead, he focuses on the twentieth century’s push of the story of “endless growth” (consumerism), and the consequences and rejection of applying this narrative in the twenty-first century. Rather than taking the reader down a doomsday rabbit hole, Harris offers optimistic insight and advice as to how an individual–and society–can readily shift away from consuming the Earth. He argues that the art of craft, experiencing the sublime, and the act of caring for another can satiate a deep void that people try to fill with materialistic things. Buying things does not bring happiness, but according to Harris, humbling oneself with these three activities does.

“What does it mean to do good work? Where do you belong in an indifferent universe? Can we support the most vulnerable among us? Ongoing questions like these could replace our closed tale of consumerism. If they seem too vague at first, that’s because consumerism has done such an excellent job of belittling them. “Craft,” in our culture, became an artisnal cup of coffee; “the Sublime” became a Star Wars movie; and “Care” became a beauty product.”

All We Want includes thought provoking essays that can make even the biggest cynic feel slightly hopeful about the future of humans on this planet.

[Alex Chan · Rating 3 out of 5]

the first non-fic i’ve read in a hot second—nothing profound or revolutionary but a good discussion around consumer culture. some chapters went over my head, but I specifically liked the part highlighting the relationship between brain chemistry and consumption

tldr: replace consumption with caretaking, hiking or making things with your own hands

[WN · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars rounded up.

All We Want reads like a mish mash of several theses crammed into a neat 150-page tome. While I enjoyed the references to Vancouver and Alberta, which let me picture the scenes more clearly, it felt overall undeveloped. The book is split into two sections, one on consumerism, and one on what it means to live past consumerism—essentially working on a Craft, learning to appreciate and soak in the Sublime, and giving yourself to the Care of others. There were not any especially compelling arguments and felt like more of a personal memoir with some research roped in. Mile wide, inch deep.

I would've loved to see a further exploration of the Care chapter, which I think could have been a book on its own.

For deeper reading on each topic, my picks are:
Consumerism: The Day the World Stops Shopping
Craft: Water, Wood, and Wild Things
Sublime: Cosmos (only if one has an interest in astronomy)
Care: Being Mortal

[Enid Wray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was immediately captivated by this book. Discussions about the Holocene extinction, the seminal Limits To Growth, GDP vs happiness (oddly, he fails to mention that Bhutan was the first country to adopt a ‘Gross National Happiness Index), Naomi Klein’s groundbreaking No Logo.

I also enjoyed the discussion of how the tobacco industry pushed us from propaganda into public relations… and created the playbook for mass consumerism as our social ideal, simultaneously laying the foundation for industry to shift the blame and responsibility from producer to consumer. This was the stuff of which I taught for over 30 years.

But, the book really got bogged down in the more ‘meta’ philosophical discussions that constituted the last half of the first section. While I can see the connections he is trying to make, they are hard to follow at times, and most readers will just gloss over this section.

The second half of the book - Stories - follows a similar trajectory. I was thoroughly taken with Don Gardner, and his craft. I also mostly enjoyed his contemplation on nature - when he was in residence at the Banff Centre - and his exploration of the ‘sublime’ in life.

But again, the whole thing gets bogged down in discussions of philosophy and religion - Coleridge, Burke, Burnet, and others. But then, again, when he shifts focus once more to his mother-in-law and her dementia, the connections get more tenuous, and indeed this whole section feels somewhat forced to fit the narrative (at the time). I predict that many readers will struggle to make the connections.

At nearly the very end, he advises that this book is about the ‘base ingredients of life’... and summarises the book - his fundamental premise/arguments - as follows: It being about Craft (making things); the sublime (experiencing things); and, care (sacrifice and devotion).

Oh how I wish I had known that at the outset… (Note: I read an e-copy so had no jacket flap to read… I just knew I was reading something new by Michael Harris)... and how I wish he had articulated that framework - intent - more clearly a few times along the way.

[Glen Grunau · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were two ideas in this book that I found particularly helpful.

The first is stated very simply: to want is not to enjoy.

I know this at a deeper level and yet I am often tricked into conflating these two distinct realities. All too often I am deceived into thinking that one more bowl of snacks while watching a movie will reliably double my enjoyment factor. Not so. Yet all to often I forget this - until looking back afterward and realizing that I would have been content to have stopped after just one.

I am similarly deceived in my perspective on leisure, too often forgetting that leisure is much more appreciated following work or some other meaningful task or accomplishment.

Thankfully, I am far less deceived in these early retirement years into believing that acquiring endless material possessions will give me the gratification I am seeking.

In part two of the book, the author offers three stories to provide an alternative meaning to our shallow instant gratification obsessed consumer culture. It was in the third story about caregiving that I discovered the warmth and humanity that I found missing elsewhere in the book.

We were given an intimate glimpse of the emotional turmoil experienced by the author’s husband as he cared for his mother as she slipped into the darkness of dementia.

“Caring for the ill wraps you in those ironies and reversals: you laugh at the wrong time, you cry over dinner. Consumerism is a simple relief by comparison, with its flat and clean-edged feelings”.

Otherwise, I found many of the ideas about what is lacking in our consumer focussed society all too familiar, perhaps even lacking in originality. I agreed with them, but I had heard them before. Somehow, and for reasons that may well reflect limitations in my own receptivity, I found this book a bit cold and difficult to warm up to and immerse myself in.

[Carman - Mrs. Oenzym Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Penguin Random House for my copy of All We Want, which I won in a Goodreads giveaway!

In All We Want, award-winning Canadian journalist Michael Harris discusses consumerism through a modern, historical and scientific lens. The first half of the book is frightening, discussing our current consumerist trends and where we're headed. Spoiler alert: it isn't looking too good. He also presents the scientific facts about why we are the way we are. We are deep into a climate crisis that we may not be able to climb out of, and many don't even care. In the second half, he presents different personal stories that shed some hope on our situation, as well as the way forward.

This book is an excellent reflection on consumer culture and a beacon of hope. Very well-written and insightful! I learned a lot, it made me feel guilty (in a productive way- I hope) and inspired change. I definitely recommend everyone give this one a read!

[Chris LaTray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book enough to want to make sure I read Harris's other books, at least one of which I realize I already own (Solitude). It's not that I didn't like this one; the information is solid and the writing is beautiful. I don't know that the subtitle does justice to what the book is actually about, though, and I went into it expecting something different. It's more of a "this is the mess we've made of the world" book without a lot of attention to building a better one. Which is fine, just not what I was hoping for when I selected it to read.

Still, I could just as easily give the book four stars except the last section related to Harris's husband's mother, while lovely and heartbreaking, seems a forced-fit into the rest of the story. The book is just a little disjointed, I guess I'd say.

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

At times thought provoking, at times poignant and at times stifling.
I thoroughly enjoyed the history of PR but would like to see how it is more connected to how it influences contemporary consumers more. A few examples are given but a deeper dive felt warranted due to the subject at hand.
Some of the history and philosophy lessons could have been edited to give more space for areas of research more relevant to our time such as UBI and social media.
Part two of the book is really where the author shines. Being a childless person of a boomer myself really made me think a lot about care. Compound that with the fact that currently I am the one with chronic health issues and not my parents it has really made me do some deep thinking.
Overall I am glad my local library has this book available and I spent a few afternoons reading it. After all, reading is one of my hobbies.

[Zac · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the wake of a global pandemic, and in midst of an ever-growing climate-crisis, our hyper-consumerist culture fuelled by a fantasy of limitless growth in a limited world comes into question.

This books is a series of essays on the failings of consumerism, and what kind of stories we can write into our lives to replace it moving forward.

I found the book a bit unfocused at times, but the main point of the book is solid and it's still worth a read.

I was particularly moved by the chapter titled: 'Care', focusing on the writer's husband's mother who was battling dementia. It's a particularly beautifully written and poignant section— standing out amongst many other beautifully written and poignant sections.

Overall, a solid little book on consumerism. I recommend.

[Maggie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the main takeaways: consumer culture is killing our earth, and the calm is more connection to nature and caring for other humans. It gets a little philosophical, which I don’t mind, just makes the narrative a bit more abstract at times. I truly appreciated the discussion of how consumed we are with consumerism and it made me more cognizant of my own consumption and preoccupations. Overall, an enjoyable read with a great message and just the right length. Thanks Libro.fm for the ALC!

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been thinking about this book for a few days. The writing is good but something felt lacking. It went over facts about our world in late stage capitalism that I think we are all well aware of,even 15, 20 years ago. A good read if you have never looked an inch beneath the surface ever before but would you pick this book up if that's you? The heart of the book for me revolved around taking care of Omma, but it also fell a little flat. I don't know what I wanted out of this book. The facts are depressing. The small paragraph about UBI could have been an entire chapter, it's kind of thrown aside. Basically, turn off the tv, go outside, get a hobby, care for yourself and others

[Eyelandgirl · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book on a very important topic: how consumerism is ruining our lives, failing to make us happy and is catastrophic for the Earth. The first half outlines the author's realization of this. The second half highlights some ways he feels we could enrich our lives without consuming

Harris is trying to be a philosopher, but his writing is convoluted and unfocused. I found myself skimming just to get the gist, and to avoid his prose.

I am sure some will love his style...I am more prosaic and would have appreciated a more direct, focused approach.

[Brian Burhoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

It used to be called Greed; now it's called Consumerism.

Michael Harris, bless him, tells us this story of the willful destruction of our living world. And our willing fall into financial ruin. But he does it with sensitivity. And courage. And love. And says there is hope. Here are the New Stories we must tell to save ourselves.

- Brian Alan Burhoe https://www.CivilizedBears.com/2022-T...

[Tristen Durocher · Rating 5 out of 5]

It had the casual stream of consciousness feel of journal entries - personal reflections, autobiographical - but would shift into some essay style referenced points to support a claim. I didn’t know where it was going in the beginning - and it starts out on a climate catastrophe note which I assumed would be the whole tone, but all in all, redemption at the beauty and sincerity of the final thoughts.

[Alexandra’s · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book but it was more of a a meandering exploration. I felt it could have been longer and more complex. Although he relied on research, it came across as simplified, when in reality things are not really so black/white. We can’t all just move to the woods and make our own crap, away from everyone and everything.

[Donn Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this a mixed bag of a book, at times brilliant, at times going on tangents that felt a bit odd. I loved the discussion on liking vs. wanting, which I’m surprised to have only learned now via this book, and the part on dementia that hit a little too close to home and made me question what really mattered in life.

[Lyda · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a series of short stories, each one of them leaving you with food for thought, something to think about. I see his point of view and how consumeristic humans have become. I agree with some of his points whereas others didn't apply. You might relate if you've lived your life in the US. To me, it made for an okay read and that's it. Next!

[Drew · Rating 5 out of 5]

A warm, insightful and inspiring book that provides a fresh perspective on our consumer culture. It’s a deceptively simple, hopeful book where the insights are accessible and applicable to modern culture.

[Gabriel Rojas Hruška · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good carry through narrative with contextual history and research that reminds us that being human is more than consumerism and goes in depth on the author’s reasoning to value skilled craft, awe of the sublime, and care of each other.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected but such a thoughtful book. Harris looks at how our consumer driven society has brought us to the climate crisis. We can't buy our way out of this. Harris suggests we consider the worlds of craft, the sublime and care as a means to achieve a different life.